The article opens:

Young Rubina Ali's social diary has been more than full these last few months: a trip to Paris, a tea party in Westminster in London, a dance show in Hong Kong, product endorsements and numerous trips in and out of India for award shows and to promote the Slumdog Millionaire child actor's autobiography, Slumgirl Dreaming. However, the school she attends in Mumbai along with her co-star, Azhar Mohammad, is not happy with either her attendance or her attitude. School officials say that the little girl, who once always greeted her teachers politely in the morning, now disregards them - that is, when she finds the time to attend school. Her father defends her against her teachers, saying Rubina is just a child and is under a lot of pressure.

There are issues with both of the children attending school as promised. Despite the monthly stipend they receive for maintaining 70% attendance, both Rubina and Azhar attend school less than 40% of the time. Now, Rubina and Azhar are just kids - however, as children they're more easily manipulated. Time reports:

The Jai Ho trust was also charged with finding suitable housing for the children, outside of the slums. While Shamim and Azhar have moved to their new 250 sq.ft apartment in Santa Cruz West, Rafiq has refused to move out of the slum, saying that 2,500,000 rupees ($50,000) is not enough to buy a flat. "I wanted to live in Bandra, as it is near to Rubina's school and I don't want her to travel a lot to get to school everyday. Can you get a flat in Bandra for that amount? I asked them to increase the budget a little bit to around 4,000,000 Rupees ($80,000) so that I could buy a flat there. But they refused. So what can I do?"

Interestingly, in an earlier post exploring Rubina and Azhar's post-movie lives, the original reason for the reluctance to move was stated a bit differently:

Although Boyle has offered to buy Rubina's family an apartment like Azhar's, her father has refused. He says he does not want to live anywhere but the Bandra neighborhood because all of his work contacts are located there.

In addition, while Time quotes Rubina's father as saying she "burnt her foot," other reports say Rubina is busy working on fashion shows and modeling shoots. I would actually expect this behavior from her family, down to lying to teachers about her whereabouts - after all, child stars face the same complications here, especially when a parent realizes that their child's take home pay could surpass his or her own income. But the problem here is that we can't be sure what Rubina wants versus the will of her father. We also don't know if Rubina will eventually come to resent going to school - after all, the world of work is very appealing. Many children around the world leave school early voluntarily, in pursuit of money and independence in the job market. While Rubina may have been a quiet, obedient student before, it's clear now that her world view has changed.

The same thing has happened to Azhar. As the Washington Post reported a few months ago:

His mother, Shamim, who married at 16 and has only an elementary-school education herself, says Azhar is bright but sometimes doesn't want to go to school. Azhar is having trouble adjusting to his notoriety, which has led to fights with classmates.

Maybe that's because at just 11 Azhar is the most successful person he knows. He has become the family patriarch, putting food on the table and even lifting the extended family out of the slums and into a middle-class neighborhood.

"Why should I go to school," he recently told a teacher. "I'm an actor."

After Danny Boyle gave him a laptop, Azhar got frustrated that no one in his family knew how to get Internet service so he could play video games.

This may be more pronounced for Rubina, who explains:

"I think back to what my life was like before the movie," she said, as she thumb-wrestled with visitors. "No one ever asked who I was or what I thought about anything."

Perhaps her diva like behavior is a result of her newfound status and financial power, something that she never experienced before the film. (The Jai Ho foundation, which is monitoring the children's progress and keeping the bulk of their film money in a trust until they turn eighteen, has pledged to help the families by taking a number of actions.)

However, as we've seen countless times (Drew Barrymore, for starters), children are not always equipped to navigate stardom... and neither are their parents. Reading through these pieces, I felt a continuous ping of concern for Rubina. I'm a bit uncomfortable making a judgment about her parents - some of the articles have more than a whiff of Western paternalism, and, of course, the media loves to box people into "hero" and "villain" roles.

Still, Rubina's father's reluctance to leave the slums where they live, combined with other incidents, may indicate that he is not going to be the best guardian. There isn't much good that can come of a greedy parent and a child with the potential for a high income.

Has Fame Spoiled The Slumdog Millionaire Kids? [Time]
Life After 'Slumdog' Full Of Promise — And Skeletons [Washington Post]
'Slumdog Millionaire' Trust says it's looking after child star Rubina Ali [Entertainment Weekly]

Earlier:Life After Slumdog
Irreconcilable Differences: When Kids Dump Their Parents

• Jon Gosselin has been doing some soul searching (or hired a better publicist). Today, he publicly apologized to Hailey Glassman and insisted there's no Nadya Suleman-Jon Gosselin reality show, though his recent behavior "lent credence to such outrageous stories."

• Gosselin responded to Hailey Glassman sobbing about his emotionally abusive "mantrums" on The Insider, saying Hailey, "has paid a significant price to live under such a media microscope. I am grateful for her emotional support and I regret any pain that my actions have caused her as she has selflessly born the pressures I have endured under the media glare. I am committed to making things right with Hailey as well as Kate and especially my children. I ask you to please give me the opportunity to prove myself." [The Insider]
• In Jon Gosselin's second mea culpa of the day, he said he's "troubled to learn that the media has accepted as true the scurrilous rumor that I would appear in a reality television program with Nadya Suleman" but he understands why the rumors are plausible. "I am well aware that my behavior over the past few months has not always reflected my personal and religious values," he says. "I further accept that I have allowed myself to become somewhat severed from my own moral anchor and be carried away by the challenges of fame. It is for this reason that I have endeavored of late to reconnect with my deeper, more spiritual, more altruistic self with regular study sessions and counseling." [E!]
• Nadya Suleman says the reality show, "was a joke. No offense to Jon Gosselin but I'm all about my kids right now. I don't have time for a man in my life. As far as the reality show goes, I can't speak for Jon but as far as I know presently there are no definitive plans for a TV show." [Radar Online]
• TLC is grooming the Hayes family of Table for 12 to replace the Gosselins. The Hayes already have them beat because they have sextuplets and two sets of twins. [N.Y. Post]
• While Madonna was visiting the Malawi orphanage where she adopted her son David, one of the children reportedly told her, "You are our God. Where could we have been without you?" An onlooker said Madonna looked bemused by the comment but "seemed cool with it." [The Sun]
• Department of Justice Investigator Danny Santiago testified today that Anna Nicole Smith's former nanny, Nadine Alexie, told him she saw Howard K. Stern and Dr. Khristine Eroshevich force drugs on Anna Nicole. She would be knocked out for days and wake up with feces and vomit in her bed. [TMZ]
• Taylor Swift was photographed with a guy who had a swastika painted on his shirt as part of the fabric paint shenanigans at Katy Perry's birthday party last weekend. The dude in question, A.J. English, says Swift may not have realized what he had on his shirt when he pulled her in for a photo. He adds that the symbol on his shirt started out as a "X" but got "perverted," and he's not a racist or a Nazi sympathizer. [TMZ]
• Lady Gaga is planning to celebrate her father's successful open-heart surgery by getting a tattoo. "I'm gonna get a tattoo for him this week; I'm gonna get a heart that says 'Dad' in it," she says. "I told him I was gonna get it and he got all teary-eyed and he said, 'Well, you're running out of real estate, so don't get it too big.'" [Contact Music]
• Lady Gaga is including a lock of her hair in every super deluxe box set of The Fame. [The Mirror]
• Italian performance artist Francesco Vezzoli is creating a production called Ballets Russes Italian Style (The Shortest Musical You Will Never See Again) starring Lady Gaga and dancers from the Bolshoi Ballet for a November 14 performance at the Museum of Contemporary Art in L.A. [N.Y.T.]
• Slumdog Millionaire stars Azharuddin Mohammed Ismail and Rubina Ali may lose their monthly stipend and trust fund because they are both have less than a 37% attendance rate at school. [USA Today]
• Another man has been arrested near Miley Cyrus' Georgia movie set. 22-year-old soldier Sean Christian Mathis allegedly came by the set in June and yelled at Miley's stunt double, "Hey, it's Miley Cyrus, I'm going to fucking kill you." [TMZ]
• Literature professor August Coppola, Nicolas Cage's father and Francis Ford Coppola's brother, died on Tuesday of a heart attack. He was 75. [AP]
• Evi Quaid showed up to a town hall meeting in Marfa, Texas last night and allegedly vandalized the building and screamed at one of the clerks. She was upset because she and Randy Quaid are renovating their home but don't have the necessary permits. [Radar Online]
• Randy and Evi Quaid failed to show up for a court date in California again today; extradition papers are now being prepared and the couple will be arrested if they show up in California. [Radar Online]
• A judge ruled today not to punish Picewell Forbes for causing the John Travolta extortion trial to result in a mistrial because he's been, "rightly ridiculed locally and internationally ... It is my opinion that you have suffered enough." [TMZ]
• Several people whose lawsuits against Sacha Baron Cohen and 20th Century Fox over Borat were thrown out have banded together for a single appeal. They say they were tricked into signing a release form for the film and want their case to be heard by a jury. [Daily Express]
• Mary-Kate Olsen's rep insists her boyfriend Nate Lowman didn't propose to her in Paris. "Even though this information continues to be reported as 'fact,' the stories regarding Mary-Kate being engaged are not in any way accurate," says her rep. [People]
• Jessica Simpson says of traveling for The Price of Beauty, "I couldn't have had this journey at a better time in my life, to seek out beauty, to seek out confidence and to seek out the power of a woman... It really is about who I am and what I want to become, and what's going to make the best version of myself." [People]
• "Listen, I know I'm not easy to deal with. I'm controlling, and I want everything orderly, and I need lists. My mind goes a mile a minute. I'm difficult on every single level. I'm aware that I can be annoying." — Sandra Bullock [Parade]
• Possible Lost spoilers: Executive producer Damon Lindelof says, "The decision to kill Juliet was absolutely brutal... [Carlton Cuse and I] have to really love you to give you a finale death." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Robbie Williams has pulled out of the MTV European Music Awards next week due to "scheduling conflicts." [3 am]
• In an interview that airs today on Entertainment Tonight Chaz Bono talks about his transition from being a woman to a man saying, "I always felt male ever since I was a child." [ET]
• In her first interview since being attacked at a book signing Leona Lewis said, "It could have been worse. I'm still alive. It is just something you have to deal with when you have fame and the positives far outweigh the negatives." [The Sun]
• BREAKING: Paris Hilton hates the people who robbed her house. [TMZ]
• America's Next Top Model contestant Brittany says she had no problem with Tyra Banks' "biracial" photo shoot. "I think this is one of the best shoots of the cycle. Fashion, hair, wardrobe, makeup. Everything was incredible," she says. "She was going for something that was unique and fashiony and editorial. And it was at the same time appreciating history and culture... For Hawaii, she brought up the idea of the cane-sugar factory, where tons of people immigrated from all over the place. So it's just more celebrating the biracial lines that came from this...the lineage of Hawaii." [E!]
• Calista Flockhart says she never thought the dancing baby on Ally McBeal was ridiculous. "Honestly, I was quite intrigued by it," she says. "I thought it was smart! Obviously, it was symbolic of Ally's biological clock ticking away, and I thought, what a great way to do that. I loved the fantasy sequences; I loved that we got to see her imagination come to life." [Newsweek]
• Reese Witherspoon says that, for her new Avon fragrance Bloom, "I just wanted a scent memory of my childhood in Tennessee growing up. A lot of it is white flowers and gardenias and things that I grew up in the backyard loving. Things that I smelled on my mother and my grandmother that really inspired a feeling of being back home." [People]
• Sting joked that Barack Obama may be the divine answer to the world's problems. "In many ways, he's sent from God," he said, "because the world's a mess." Someone alert Madonna that the U.S. President has stolen her thunder! [AP]
• Sting wants to stop global warming because it may be making the winter shorter. He says: "I think the winter for the psychology of people who have lived in the northern hemisphere for thousands and thousands of years is incredibly important. We need this psychological time to recharge our batteries, to rethink, to reflect. Without that I think we would probably go crazy. We need the winter, so I worry greatly about global warming. We need to do something radical to stop it." [CNN]
• Mo'Nique says she was able to play an abusive character in Precious because, "I knew Mary Jones. [The family member] was a monster to me as a child. I was excited to play that role, if that makes sense, for that story to be told. So maybe a young lady, or a young man, won't go through life having to carry it around as if you have this great secret." [WSJ]

As Emily Wax reports for the Washington Post, Azhar Mohammed Ismaill, 11, has, for the most part, benefited from his recent catapult to fame. His family has moved out of the slums and into a two room apartment in a high-rise building, a gift from Slumdog director Danny Boyle, who Azhar's co-star Rubina Ali calls "Uncle Danny."

But even post-Slumdog, Azhar's life has not been all that easy. In May, the government bulldozed the illegal shanties that housed both Rubina and Azhar, as well as countless other families. Azhar's father was hospitalized around the same time with tuberculosis, while Azhar was reduced to living on the streets, sleeping under a tarp. Ziyan Contractor, a teacher at the children's school, says this is normal for kids in the slums. "Nearly every child from the slums has had their home bulldozed and has a parent who has a drinking or gambling problem or has walked out," she told the Post. "Every single scene of that movie was true. The only scene that wasn't true was when they dance on the train platform at the end. There is no space to dance on the platforms of Mumbai: only a crush of people."

In a sense, Azhar's rise out of the slums and into the once-unattainable world of middle-class life is emblematic of the increasing social mobility that has hit India like a tsunami. Wax explains,

In many ways, they are experiencing at warp speed the masala of euphoria and turmoil that India's vast poor feel as they emerge from the iron bonds of caste and class to an era of genuine social mobility.

Over two decades, India has awakened from a drowsy agricultural nation and into an industrial one that has lifted millions out of poverty. Rapid urbanization and the opening of markets has broken down feudal village roles and inspired young Indians to grab hold of new destinies in cities far from their birthplaces. Mumbai has become a magnet for a new generation of Indians, a New York of India, where professions are no longer inherited, where hundreds sleep on the street for a chance at a better life.

But out of the two children, Azhar is the luckier one. Rubina may be famous, but whether or not she has been granted a "better life" is arguable. Although Boyle has offered to buy Rubina's family an apartment like Azhar's, her father has refused. He says he does not want to live anywhere but the Bandra neighborhood because all of his work contacts are located there. She frequently misses school to shoot commercials or fashion shows. Her teachers say they are worried about her, but her father and stepmother refuse to come by the school and speak with them. These problems pale in comparison to the highly-publicized undercover sting by a British Newspaper, when Rubina's father was caught tried to sell her for the equivalent of $290,000.

And yet Rubina remains cheerfully optimistic about her new life. She seems to enjoy the visitors and the attention she receives (Wax even calls her a "mini-diva"). "I think back to what my life was like before the movie," she said. "No one ever asked who I was or what I thought about anything."

Life After 'Slumdog' Full Of Promise — And Skeletons [Washington Post]

• Jude Law got someone pregnant, but not Rachel McAdams' sister Kayleen — her rep (she's a makeup artist) says "She has never even met him." [Star]
• So. The mother of Jude Law's unborn spawn is:

Samantha Burke. She's an actress/model. Naturally. [TMZ]

• A source says that Samantha Burke wants Jude's cash! She expects "a large maintenance payment and financial costs, including a percentage of Jude's future earnings, agreed in writing." [The Sun]
• According to this report, Samantha Burke is from a wealthy family. Also, she looks good in a retro swimsuit. [Daily Mail]
• "Even Seth Rogen Now Hating on Katherine Heigl." He's talking shit about how she talks shit. And dissed The Ugly Truth: "That [movie] looks like it really puts women on a pedestal in a beautiful way." Plus: "I gotta say, it's not like we're the only people she said some batshit crazy things about. That's kind of her bag now." [NY Mag, LA Times]
• Carrie Prejean is planning to sue the Miss California USA organization for slander, libel, public disclosure of private facts, religious discrimination, intentional infliction of emotional distress and negligent infliction of emotional distress. This should be a big old mess. [Perez]
• Need beach reading? Three celebs have "written" new memoirs: Slumdog Millionaire's Rubina Ali; former Playmate Kendra Wilkinson and Good Charlotte's Joel Madden. [NY Daily News]
• Haterade Headline of the Day: "Tony Romo and Nick Lachey rebound with Jessica Simpson look-a-likes while she's left smooching a dog." [NY Daily News]
• Police chiefs suspected of "snooping" at Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate's home have been arrested. [NY Post]
• Emma Watson is related to a 16th century witch! Her distant relative Joan Playle was excommunicated from the Church of England for witchcraft in 1592. [E!]
• Eminem's new track, "Warning," is an answer to Mariah Carey's song, "Obsessed." He raps: "You probably think since it's been so long if I had something on you I woulda did it by now, on the contrary, Mary Poppins, I'm mixing our studio session down and sending it to mastering to make it loud, enough dirt on you to murder you, this is what the fuck I do... Mariah, it ever occur to you that I still have pictures?" [Yahoo News via E!]
• Amy Winehouse's wedding album: Found in trash. Seems Blaaaaake threw his copy away. [The Sun]
• Nora Ephron says she hopes Julie & Julia will remind everyone that before EVOO, there was BUTTER, which has now been demonized. "I just do not get that at all," Ephron says, since Julia Child and her husband lived into their 90s. "And they drank like fish," she says. "I don't believe that anything has to do with what you eat, if you don't overeat. All these people who think they can cut down on their cholesterol by eating those awful egg-white omelets. There's something I really hate. It is simply not going to make any difference if you have a couple egg yolks in your omelet." [USA Today]
• Will Katie Holmes be in the Sex And The City 2: Electric Boogaloo? A source says: "The character they want her to play is a really ballsy, high-powered company executive who tangles with Samantha." Sometimes you sort of forget she's an actress, for Xenu's sake. [The Sun]
• Jeepin' jeewillickers! Even though Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar named each of their 18 children a name beginning with the letter J, their first grandchild (from son Josh) will be named Mackenzie. Whether Josh and his wife will have 18 kids with M names remains to be seen. [Star]
• So much sadness: This report claims that Michael Jackson may have had collapsed veins and needle marks all over his body — plus — he may have been dead as early as 8:30 a.m. — four hours before paramedics were called. [ET]
• Warrants filed yesterday allege that Michael Jackson was an addict. It's a violation if Dr. Conrad Murray was "prescribing to an addict." [Yahoo News via AP]
• The Michael Jackson autopsy report: Delayed. [TMZ]
• How will TLC balance Jon & Kate's popularity with the family's right for privacy? Network exec Eileen O'Neill says: "It's a sensitive situation and we navigate that as we go along… It's the family's decision to be involved in the show… We want to stay with them as long as they want to stay with us." [Variety]
• What you'll see when Jon & Kate Plus 8 returns: "Jon and Kate have never said they were perfect," Eileen O'Neill says. "You're still going to see two parents that love their kids, but you'll see them parenting separately." [People]
• This columnist asserts that the return of Jon & Kate will help Kate's image. [MSNBC Scoop]
• And, because no one is sick of these people: Jon Gosselin (and Michael Lohan??) brainstormed a new show: Divorced Dads Club. [Page Six]
• Leonardo DiCaprio's ex, Bar Refaeli, has a new man: multi-millionaire Teddy Sagi, who is among Israel's top 30 richest men. [NY Daily News]
• BREAKING: Katy Perry and Rihanna have become inseparable. [Page Six]
• Mario Lopez says the Saved By The Bell reunion was a long time coming: "Everybody knew the 20-year anniversary was coming up. This People story has been in the works for over a year, long before [late night host] Jimmy Fallon started talking about it. We were all excited about it." But what's next? "Everybody is fired up. People keep coming up to me saying 'When are you guys going to do a show?'" [People]
• Mark Paul Gosselaar says of Dustin "Screech" Diamond: That's a disaster on so many levels… I don't know where his head is. I know probably as much as you know from watching things on TV." Plus, Gosselaar says that when he played Zack on Fallon last month, there was a reason he looked young: "I read a blog [where] some guy said, 'Dude, lay off the Botox.' I've never had Botox before. The wig was so fucking tight, it gave me a mini face-lift." [Newsweek]
• Penelope Cruz looked amazing at the premiere of Broken Embraces, but the airline had lost her luggage. [People]
• Penny Cruz: "I love London... but I have difficulties with the rainy weather." [Telegraph]
• Lost spoilers! CHARLIE. [E!]
• Details of the sort-of Seinfeld reunion on Curb Your Enthusiasm, at the link. [LA Times]
• Lawyers are getting involved in that Twilight recasting drama involving Rachelle Lefevre. [E!]
• Viva la revolucion? Benicio del Toro, Bill Murray, Robert Duvall and James Caan were in Cuba yesterday. [Reuters]
• Paul Giamatti calls some scenes from his new film, Cold Souls, "sort of awkward and painful." [WSJ]
• Billy Crudup will join the cast of Eat, Pray, Love the movie, which also stars Julia Roberts, Javier Bardem and Richard Jenkins. [Variety]
• "Bandslam's account of a teenager's awkward attempts to settle into a new school remind former Friends star Lisa Kudrow of her own adolescence." [Telegraph]
• "Singer Peter Andre has accepted "substantial" damages over a newspaper claim he was unfaithful to his estranged wife, model Katie Price." [BBC News]
• "I really felt this film, which had a love affair with boeuf bourguignon, should come out in winter." — Meryl Streep on Julie & Julia. [USA Today]
• "I heard what he had to say and I knew at this moment my life would never be the same. Life no longer seemed like a series of Random events. I also began to see that being Rich and Famous wasn't going to bring me lasting fulfillment and that it was not the end of the journey." — Madonna, on first hearing about Kabbalah when pregnant with Lourdes. [AP]
• "Phoebe was so spiritual and 'out there' — and I wasn't at all. Not. At. All. If anyone was it was Jennifer [Aniston]. She introduced me to certain books that gave me an insight into that world – Phoebe's supposed world – which was a more spiritual realm." — Lisa Kudrow. [Daily Express]
• "My mom and dad were big hippies and I spent time on communes. I just remember the smell of soybeans everywhere. People were making all sorts of strange things out of soybeans: food, clothing, paper, everything. I suppose if I'd gone to military school, maybe I'd be pining for something like Woodstock. But I'm certainly pining for what it represents, and I think that's what Ang was really after with the film." — Liev Schreiber, on Taking Woodstock. [Style.com]
• "I don't watch Jon & Kate, but I still want to punch that Jon douche in the face.his smarmy,fat alcoholic bloat&Ed Hardy wear piss me off" — Rose McGowan. [Twitter]
• "The Jay-Z controversy is great. We couldn't buy P.R. like this. I think Jay-Z said he saw Auto-Tune used in a Wendy's commercial, and that pushed him over the edge." — Marco Alpert, vice president of the company which markets Auto-Tune, on Jay-Z's latest single, "D.O.A. (Death of Auto-Tune)." [NY Times]
• "Fuck you Katy Perry, you fucking stupid, maybe 'not good for the gays,' title thieving, haven't heard much else, so not quite sure if you're talented, fucking little slut." — Jill Sobule. [The Rumpus]

• Nine-year-old Rubina Ali has written an autobiography. In Slumgirl Dreaming: Journey to the Stars she says of Nicole Kidman: "I really liked her, but she was very quiet and didn't speak much..."

• "I think she was a bit shy." She adds that she found Kidman "strange" because she refused to come out of her trailer while shooting a Schweppes commercial with Ali because she seemed to be afraid of going out in the sun. [The Daily Mail]
• Debbie Rowe is demanding that her friend make a retraction after giving Extra emails that show she wasn't sure she wanted to adopt Michael Jackson's kids. One email says: "Do I want the kids? Hell no. Does it look good for me to ask for them? Absolutely. I don't want to look like the woman who gave away her kids and just forgot about them." [People]
• Though TMZ is reporting that the LAPD is treating Michael Jackson's death as a homicide, police representatives announced today that it's not true. [CBS News]
• PETA is annoyed that there will be a butter sculpture of Michael Jackson at the Iowa State Fair and the organization has suggested that the sculptor use "non dairy buttery spread" instead. [Breitbart]
• There are rumors that Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupri but Extra implores you not to believe it. [Extra]
• Tony Romo has been partying almost every night since his split from Jessica Simpson, but eyewitnesses say it seems like he's just hanging out with male friends, not trying to hook up with women. [People]
• Amy Winehouse's estranged husband Blake Fielder-Civil has filed for divorce. Possibly related: Amy was photographed crying in Gatwick Airport. [The Daily Mail]
• Jon Gosselin came back from St. Tropez without girlfriend Hailey Glassman. When harassed by paparazzi who asked, "she ditched you in Nice?" Jon replied, "probably." He said she's staying in France but he had to come back to film Jon and Kate Plus 8. [Us]
• When Jon Gosselin came home to Pennsylvania his kids greeted him, yelling, "Daddy, daddy!" in the driveway. While he was away he said, "Every 10 minutes I keep thinking about the kids and missing them. Mady keeps calling me and asking me if I'm in France, but she doesn't understand where France is. I'm really looking forward to seeing them again in a few days." [People]
• Supposedly Jon Gosselin bought Hailey Glassman an engagement ring. Will this one have a skull on it too? [E!]
• According to her Tweets, Kim Kardashian lost her passport in Africa. Will she be stranded there forever?! [The Life Files]
• Dave Chappelle gave a free impromptu performance that drew thousands last night in Portland, Oregon. You can watch some videos here: [ONTD]
• Ugh. Anti-gay activists from the Westboro Baptist Church protested outside an American Idol concert in San Jose because Adam Lambert was performing. Fellow performer Michael Sarver Tweeted: "We are together in this thing. You mess with one you mess with all ten. We are strong and we are 1. For those outside protesting I say do not judge less ye be judged yourself. Guys don't mind these people, we are a strong family." [The Daily Express]
• Check out Brad Pitt and his slightly-grey beard on the cover of Wired here: [People]
• "Russell Brand To Play The Easter Bunny" [The Guardian]
• Zooey Deschanel's suggestion for summer fun? Wear "all-green and roll down a hill." [People]
• Lo Bosworth is dating lacrosse player Scott Hochstadt. [People]
• Kristen Cavallari is signed on for two seasons of The Hills. [E!]
• A judge dismissed a lawsuit for defamation filed by Donald Trump against the author of Trump Nation: The Art of Being the Donald. Trump claimed he was the victim of "actual malice" because the author's estimate of his wealth was too low. [Reuters]
• Daphne Zuniga will guest star on the new Melrose Place. [E!]
• Wendy Williams is campaigning to get Whitney Houston on her show. She told a reporter: "Print this: 'Hey Whitney, how you doin'? I'm looking for you! Love you! Mean it!'" [N.Y. Magazine]
• Carla Bruni-Sarkozy will perform in public for the first time since becoming Frace's first lady at Nelson Mandela's 91st birthday celebration at Radio City Music Hall. [Yahoo]
• Jane Fonda has moved in with music producer Richard Perry according to sources. [The Daily Express]
• According to Entertainment Weekly's in-depth personality test, if Dylan McDermott was forced to do karaoke, he'd pick the song "I Ran" by Flock of Seagulls. [Entertainment Weekly]
• Ben Hudson, who collaborated with Kanye West for his new album Straight No Chaser says, "You have to have people who will say boo to a goose. If Kanye sends me a mix and asks what I think, my temptation as a courtier might be to say, 'Why, your majesty, this is the finest mix that has ever been sent on g-mail.' But he respects my opinion, and I can respect that by giving it to him straight." He adds, "The other day Kanye said 'stop calling me boss, I'm your friend'. I just said 'cool.' I had to stop myself saying 'cool, boss.'" [The Telegraph]
• Matthew Fox says after Lost ends he's never doing another TV show. He explains: "That is not because I think film is better than television. Not at all, in some respects some of the best story telling is happening on television. I have done two TV shows - Lost and Party of Five - that have each run for six years. When you add it all up it is in the vicinity of 300 hours of television. I want to find a way to have more control over when I am working and when I'm not. I'm looking for more flexibility. I am (43) and a father of two children, and I don't want to miss them growing up. I don't want to find myself 10 years from now feeling like I was an absentee father because I was so focused on my career." [TV Guide]
• Daniel Radcliffe says J.K. Rowling promised him she's not writing a book/film about Harry's adventures as an adult. He adds, "I grew up around gay people my entire life, basically, that's possibly why I'm quite camp, and some people think I'm gay when I meet them, which I think is awesome. It's always good to keep them guessing. But I think it's wonderful that Dumbledore was outed as gay." [The Telegraph]

• A source claims that Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore want Susan Boyle to sing at their wedding anniversary party. Demi reportedly would also like Susan to "flash her knee" at Ashton. [Daily Express]

• But Demi says the Boyle rumors are false! Regardless, Boyle is "much happier" after her hospitalization for an "anxiety attack." [Daily Mail]
• David Carradine's manager says he was found with his hands tied behind his back, calling into question both accident and suicide as explanations for his death. [TMZ]
• But the Thai police say there's no evidence anyone was in the room with Carradine when he died. [TMZ]
• Slumdog Millionaire star Rubina Ali has written her life story, Slumgirl Dreaming: My Journey to the Stars. The book will be released in July. [AP, via WWLTV]
• Phil Spector is being moved form LA to a prison near Bakersfield. TMZ tastefully reports that this prison has private showers. [TMZ]
• Tank Girl star Lori Petty has been charged with three misdemeanors for hitting a skateboarder with her car last weekend. Neither was severely injured. [TMZ]
• Chris Martin says he's not going to record a solo album, and that he gets song ideas from "some word [that] sends your mind going," such as "falafel." Bill O'Reilly was not available for comment. [Guardian]
• Marilyn Manson says he cried when tour manager "Steve" wouldn't get him drugs. But is he also an alcoholic? "Not according to the statistics that I read," says Manson. [Daily Express]
• Dominic Monaghan's character Charlie may be returning to Lost. [New York Magazine]
• More possible evidence that Drew Barrymore and Justin Long are back together: she was spotted with him at a Green Day concert, holding his hand and wearing a picnic blanket. [E! Online]
• 50 Cent has settled a lawsuit against an engineering firm for underestimating the cost of repairs to his house — the estimate was for $500,000, but the repairs ended up costing $6 million. Sucks, but it's hard to feel too sorry for Fiddy when the repairs on his house cost 25 times the median home price in the Northeast. [USA Today]
• Sick of Jon Gosselin and young women yet? If not, here's a sort of grainy picture of him standing near 23-year-old Hailey Glassman, his alleged paramour and daughter of his wife's plastic surgeon. [Perez Hilton]
• "I don't know what I'd do if I did win, but I would run out there and kiss Elton John and kick him off stage or something." — Dolly Parton, on her Tony Nomination for "9 to 5 The Musical" [CBS News]
• "And all the tears on her guitar, I'm not bitter. But now I see, Everything I'd ever need, Is the girl in front of me, She's much better." — from Joe Jonas's new song "Much Better," which supposedly disses ex Taylor Swift and her song "Teardrops On My Guitar" [Perez Hilton]
• "I'm convinced that she'll get sober one day. But I'm afraid that between now and then, she may get a nearly mortal wound of some type. [...] I have this image that she's going to lose a limb or something before she does." — Dr. Drew, on Lindsay Lohan.[Parade]
• "That was insulting, ridiculous, and disrespectful." — also Dr. Drew, on former Celebrity Rehab star Mary Carey's film, Celebrity Pornhab with Dr. Screw. [Parade]
• "You have to make ugly faces to make pretty notes. The first thing I noticed at rehearsal is they looked really good, like models, and they were sucking their cheeks and looking like they belong in an agency for beauty." — Carlos Santana, on the American Idol contestants during his guest appearance. [Reuters]

• Chris Brown has publicly addressed the Rihanna assault for the first time in a short YouTube video. He says he's working on a new album, Grafitti, and he'll release a new single this summer. He says: "Everybody that's haters, they've just been haters..."

• "All my real fans, I love y'all. I ain't a monster." [TMZ]
• Kanye West has released the music video for his song "Paranoid," which stars Rihanna. [Perez Hilton]
• Slumdog Millionaire director Danny Boyle and producer Christian Colson flew to Mumbai after seeing pictures of Azharuddin Ismail and Rubina Ali picking through the debris of their demolished homes. Boyle said a home had been bought for Ismail, and that they would soon buy one for Ali. Boyle said, "We've been trying for a long time to move them into legal accommodation." Ali's father, Rafiq Quereshi, countered, "It has been five to six months. Everything is available in Mumbai if you have the money. If you really want to get us a house, you can get us a house in two days." [Reuters, E!]
• Kate Gosselin's estranged brother Kevin Kreider, who has given interviews to numerous media outlets in the past few weeks, has reportedly been offering to talk about what it's like behind the scenes at Jon and Kate Plus 8 for $30,000. It's not clear which news outlets paid him, but he insists he and his wife Jodi Kreider are, "speaking out now because we want to be the voice of our nieces and nephews... We're seeing it turn tide, that they're being viewed as a commodity." [E!]
• Susan Boyle supposedly watched fellow Britain's Got Talent finalist Shaheen Jafargholi perform on a TV at a London hotel bar, and when one of the judges complimented the 12-year-old, Boyle yelled "fuck off" and waved two fingers (a dirty gesture in the UK) at the screen. A rep for the show said, "As far as we are aware Susan was not at the bar during Shaheen's performance. She started watching the show there but left early and watched some of the acts in her room as she was being asked for interviews in the bar by journalists." [Newser]
• A representative for Susan Boyle said, "Susan was in the bar with friends but was getting hassled by a journalist. The four of them left before Shaheen's live performance to watch it in the room instead." [The Daily Mail]
• American Idol scandal: AT&T provided free phones so fans could text message their votes at two Arkansas parties supporting winner Kris Allen in Arkansas. They even showed people how to "power text," which lets you send 10 votes at a time and is forbidden in the show's rules. AT&T says they were invited to parties organized by locals, but no free texting services were offered to Adam Lambert supporters. [Perez Hilton]
• Terri Seymour has requested a restraining order from Janice Thibodeaux, the woman who attacked her outside the American Idol finale last week. She says, Thibodeaux, "attacked [her] from behind, putting her into a headlock, wrenching her neck and choking her with the full force of her 200 pound frame," and could have killed her if the cops hadn't intervened. [TMZ]
• Suri Cruise will only eat with chop sticks. "Suri doesn't like to eat with anything else," says a source. During a recent visit to Le Pain Quotidien, "She wouldn't touch her sandwich and pastries without them!" [Star]
• Justin Gaston says he doesn't live with girlfriend Miley Cyrus, but in an apartment in North Hollywood with two roommates. But he may wish he lived with the Cyrus clan. When asked to describe his dream life Gaston says, "[I'd be] one of those little lapdogs that gets petted all day... You know, they wake up, get fed, get attention. I like attention. I'd like to be one of those little dogs. Is that weird?" [People]
• Michael Lohan was arrested last month because his former fiancee Erin Muller says he threatened to killer her when she tried to end their relationship in March. Lohan appeared at court on Long Island yesterday, but fled when he saw members of the media. He's due in court today because he has been charged with falling behind in child support payments. [The Daily Express]
• Mel Gibson's pregnant girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, already has an 11-year-old son from her relationship with Timothy Dalton. "It [seems] very important to Oksana that Mel and her son bond," says a source. "Mel is fun to be around and great with kids." [People]
• A fan made it past security backstage at Beyonce's concert in London and tried to speak to Beyonce. A source says, "He cried out her name with his arms outstretched before security bundled him back out again. He said he wanted to see Jay-Z to give him a demo tape." [The London Paper]
• Melissa Joan Hart is on the new cover of People in a bikini because she lost 42 pounds after having a baby. Plus, dieting to be on the cover of the mag is pretty much the only career move former teen stars have left. She says, "Everyone still thinks I'm huge, but I'm not anymore!" [People]
• Jennie Garth has revealed that she has a leaky valve in her heart, which was discovered seven years ago. "A lot of people have it," she explains. "They don't know they have it ... [It] leaks blood." She says that sometimes she can feel it too. "It sort of flutters open and shut sort of a thing ... It's weird because sometimes when I'm resting I can feel a little weird fluttering." It may get more complicated in the future, but for now it is not dangerous. [People]
• Andy Garcia's brother-in-law has been sentenced to 15 years in prison. Ramon Puentes Jr. was convicted in the Fuel Farm Case, a large scheme to siphon jet fuel from the Miami Airport's fuel depot. Garcia and Puentes' wives are sisters. [UPI]
• Justin Long says Alison Lohman, his Drag Me To Hell co-star got "banged up really bad," while filming the movie. He said: "I have never seen an actress work so hard and she would always have a different bruise, it was like the bruise of the day, 'What's on the menu today?' and she would be like 'check this out, it looks like Uzbekistan and I don't know how I got it.'" [The Star]
• The State's lost comedy album has surfaced online. "We would love to do more," said David Wain, who was a member of the comedy group. "The State is an 11-headed beast though. Getting anything to happen requires divine miracles - just in terms of scheduling and logistics." [Rolling Stone]
• Lauren Conrad says she's looking forward to living "a little more unplanned," when she leaves The Hills. She says, "It's hard to look at somebody who used to be your best friend and say, 'We can't be friends. Too much has happened... I'm trying to move on, but they won't let me. And when someone keeps pushing you into the same position, well…you get upset." [ONTD]
• Amy Winehouse won't return to London unless she can find a St. Lucian chef to move to the UK and cook for her. A friend said Amy told her, "there's no way she'll come back unless she can find a chef she likes and who is prepared to move country. She really doesn't look after herself when she is back in London, and is always skipping meals." [This Is London]
• Mackenzie Phillips, who entered rehab for the 10th time in September 2008, will appear on the third season of Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew as a "sober coach." As you may recall, last season's sober coach was Gary Busey. [TMZ]
• Morrissey has called off yet another London concert. His rep said: "Morrissey is on continued doctor's orders not to sing, to ensure a complete recuperation." [The Mirror]
• Katie Price already had estranged husband Peter Andre's things put into storage, and today a locksmith's van was spotted outside their home. [The Sun]
• Bethenny Frankel of The Real Housewives of New York is blogging each week about The Real Housewives of New Jersey. She says Teresa, "is clearly living vicariously through her daughter." Jacqueline's daughter is spoiled and "her mother is a sweet doormat who doesn't seem to want to take a position on anything." As for Dina, she says she's, "willing to bet she's had some minor work done on that pretty face of hers." Is Bethenny not aware that she'll definitely have to meet these women, or that they could be at her front door in about an hour? [E!]
• "Cameron Diaz cuts a lonely figure as she takes a solitary swim in Hawaii." Poor Cam is so lonely since she broke up with Paul Sculfor. Jennifer Aniston is probably free to hang out with her, as she's just been sitting around thinking about how much she misses Brad Pitt for the past few years. [The Daily Mail]
• Phylicia Rashad plays matriarch Violet WestonWell in the play August: Osage County. When asked why she plays so many matriarchs, she said: "Consider what you're asking. How many women in the world are matriarchs? Many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many. It's not a role foreign to women, is it? So there. [Laughs.] So there." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Joy Behar says she likes Fred Armisen's Saturday Night Live impression of her. "I think he's right on. I think he's got me down. He gets the fidgeting. I'm a constant fidgeter. It's probably why I don't weigh 200 pounds, because I keep working it off by moving constantly and fidgeting and fixing my hair. And this phrase, 'So what? Who cares?' — I realize that I say that a lot and that it's basically a philosophy of life." [The Star Tribune]
• Marilyn Manson has a new album, The High End of Low. He says: "Track two is called "Pretty as a Swastika." It's something I said to a girl because of her complexion - with black hair, red lips and pale skin. I mean, it was a complex and poetic comment that soon led to intercourse, so I felt no reason for it to be seen as confusing, hateful and destructive. The record label [told me], Take it off the album. Rather than do so, I decided to produce it on the inside of the sleeve with a different name, so it'll be sold in Wal-Mart or wherever stores sell guns but are afraid to deal with lyrics. So I put "Pretty as a ($)" because all of their motivations are based on money." [Time]

[Mumbai, May 20. Image via Getty]

Oscar-winning film Slumdog Millionaire's child star Rubina Ali stands in front of her demolished shanty in Mumbai on May 21, 2009. The ramshackle home of nine-year-old Rubina Ali was one of about 25 properties near train tracks in the Gareeb Nagar slum in central Mumbai that was torn down. Rubina played the young Latika, the main female character in the Oscar-winning film. More than half of Mumbai's estimated 18 million residents live in either designated slums or illegal shanties. Many of them are next to sewers which overflow during heavy rains. But Mumbai city's municipal authorities readily admit that they can do little to stop the makeshift homes being rebuilt because of the city's acute housing shortage. AFP PHOTO/Sajjad HUSSAIN (Photo credit should read SAJJAD HUSSAIN/AFP/Getty Images)

• Twihards! Sparkle vamp Robert Pattinson says there will be a fourth Twilight movie; the plot of the book Breaking Dawn will come to the big screen. What does this mean?

To the uninitiated, (SPOILER) this creepy story involves young Bella being pregnant with a vampire baby that eats its way out of her uterus... Fun times! Vampires are dead, right? So how can they be born? Or have sperm to impregnate? Oh, that's right: SPARKLES. [The Hollywood Reporter]

• One of Robert Pattinson's bodyguards pushed a paparazzo into a trash can at Cannes. [Gatecrasher]
• Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez had dinner and drinks in Manhattan Friday night. It's so on. [People]
• Rihanna and rapper Drake: Really, really on. [Page Six]
• Sarah Jessica Parker is concerned for the safety and well-being of the surrogate carrying her twins: "She's had friends threatened and family threatened and she's had family of friends threatened," SJP says. Plus, the woman's phone and computer have been tapped/hacked. [USA Today]
• Gay bashing alert: A young woman was attacked at a party where Samantha Ronson DJ'd, and Sam says it was "simply for being gay." She writes: "NO ONE should have to suffer any sort of attack, verbal or physical, for any reason." Warning: She links to a picture of the victim's face, and the damage is terrible. [MySpace, Twitpic]
• The documentary about Amy Winehouse — Saving Amy — may reveal that the singer is struggling with anorexia, alcohol, and her parents. [Daily Mail]
• If you want to see what Michael Jackson looks like these days — without a face mask — go ahead and click. [Daily Mail]
• Property improvements! Brad Pitt is building a new pool cabana and deck on his Malibu estate, which is up for sale. If you have $18 million, you can get a lovely home, pool, tennis courts, and neighbors like Cindy Crawford and Leo DiCaprio. Any takers? [LA Times]
• Here's a first review of Brad Pitt's latest, Inglorious Basterds. Derek Malcolm calls it "absurd, overlong and mostly cardboard version of World War II." The script "places its actors in the unenviable position of appearing either melodramatic, farcical or just plain dull." And "there are some decent moments but they are few and far between." [This Is London]
• Ellen had No Doubt come to her show and overbooked the studio by 500 people — leaving hundreds in the heat and sun for hours, even though they had tickets. Feeling hella bad. [Perez]
• Shawn Johnson says Dancing With The Stars changed her life, and that her dancing partner brought out her personality. "And I've loved every second of it." [E!]
• A neighbor says Jon and Kate of Plus 8 fame are only together for the TLC paychecks. "A lot of people around town say that's what their relationship has been about for a while." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Paula Abdul was asked if all four judges would be returning to American Idol next season, and replied, "Tune in!" [LA Times]
• A reporter to Hugh Hefner: "Would you let Lindsay Lohan play for Playboy?" Hef: "Who?" Reporter: "Lindsay Lohan." Hef cluelessly looks to his young girlfriend, who says, "Lindsay Lohan?" Hef, still looking confused, says, "Sure." Its on video. [Radar Online]
• In this video, Katy Perry talks about her religious parents: "They're very much cool." And: "My mom's isn't the rock-n-roller pot-smoking debutant that she was, and my dad's not the acid dealer with long hair anymore." Plus, she says doing a second record will be good, because "It'll show that either I got lucky or that I was meant to do this." [Rolling Stone]
• Years before Jay Leno nabbed a primetime spot, NBC was asking Oprah and Letterman to try it. [Variety]
• George Clooney will star in a flick called A Very Private Gentleman, playing an assassin who who protects his cover by hiding out in an Italian town. Is it even fiction? Can't you picture Cloons having a secret identity? [Yahoo News via E!]
• Looks like Chace Crawford from Gossip Girl will definitely be in Footloose; and now he may be joined by Miley Cyrus. The world is a strange and mysterious place. [E!, The Hollywood Reporter]
• Paris Hilton has been trying to get paid to appear at nightclubs in Cannes; a source says: "They aren't about to pay her. It's not 2002." [Page Six]
• Seven words you didn't want to hear this morning: "Jennifer Love Hewitt to relaunch singing career." [NME]
• Jesus, there is still major drama going on in Gossip Girl star Kelly Rutherford's divorce and custody battle. Rutherford has filed legal papers asking the judge to bar her ex from taking their 2-year-old son Hermes home — until the dad kid-proofs the pool and play areas. [TMZ]
• In this video, Charlotte Gainsbourg, who stars in Lars von Trier's Antichrist — the one with the genital mutilation — defends the film and Von Trier against the charge that he hates and exploits women. [Guardian]
• Another day, another Slumdog Millionaire child star's home destroyed. This time it was the living quarters of little Rubina Ali. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Sienna Miller wants a rose named after her, so somebody had better get on that. [Daily Express]
• Do you care if Vanessa Minnillo is still with Nick Lachey or not? This report says she was seen "acting single." Because she was drinking and dancing in a club. [Page Six]
• Colin Firth says he was well-versed in Noel Coward's work long before he signed on to star in Easy Virtue, a film based on a Coward play. [UPI]
• Does Ryan Phillippe have a wandering eye? [Page Six]
• File under: Moms re-entering the workplace. Liz Hurley has been away from movies for five years — due to the birth of her son — but would like to come back: "I decided I couldn't do movies for a while, which was a huge decision for me because I actually love making movies more than anything," she says. If she could do a film that could work around her son's school holidays, she would "take it like a shot." [Telegraph]
• T-Mobile is bringing Catherine Zeta-Jones back to its ads. [Business Insider via WSJ]
• Interesting: Chris Pontius of Jackass fame will appear in the new Sofia Coppola film, Somewhere. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• It's hard to read this story about actor Rip Torn's probation for DUI, because his 2006 mug shot is so LOL. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Blind item! "Which wanna-be rocker had to take a trip to the emergency room because he went to sleep with his contacts in?" [Gatecrasher]
• "It is all going well and I know I am very happy right now. I want the happy ever after ending. I've definitely changed. I'm just letting things happen and seeing what does. In so many ways I am behind the mark for my age. I'm not married and I don't have children but my attitude now is that things may happen or they may not but just be happy." — Kylie Minogue, who has been dating this sweet piece of man candy for seven months. [Daily Mail]
• "I'm doing a speech about the situation with AIDS in America basically, and how we need to address what's going on. We seem to be falling a little behind in America. I find this disease very cyclical. Every 10 years or so, after we spend a lot of money trying to educate people — a new generation of people — and we tell them to have safe sex and to abstain sometimes but have safe sex, wear condoms, we find that after 10 years another whole group of people come along. And we have to start all over again, which is really, really frustrating because it takes money for education. And we find that if we could get into the schools at a grass-roots levels, which we do in places like Africa where we get to kids at a young age and we tell them about preventive measures for not getting HIV, we find the success rate is tremendous." — Elton John. [CNN]
• "I just hope it will go away, after a little bit of time. I hope I'm not naïve in thinking that's possible. I don't want to be a part of it. I can't seem to navigate a way of doing that, of actually telling the truth of events that happened without feeling I'm encouraging the whole gossip notion." — Christian Bale on his rant. [USA Today]
• "I don't want us to split up. I love my husband, but I can't sit around crying. This is a new story and a new chapter in my life. Pete is the love of my life and I am so sad and upset by his decision to separate and divorce me as I married him for life. This is not what I want, but the decision was taken out of my hands." — Katie "Jordan" Price. [Telegraph]
• "'Hot' has become a euphemism for all things positive, making it generally acceptable to use to describe everything from a jalapeño to a drum solo. It's sort of a useful word. We don't have to think of appropriate adjectives for people, places, performances, tacos, or objects anymore as they all fit snugly under the glorious umbrella of 'hotness.' So I don't know how hot I am but I'm honored to be considered as warmer than the average taco." — Olivia Wilde, who is number one on Maxim's Hot List. She also says, "Michelle [Obama] will always be No. 1 on MY list." [The Daily Beast]

The plot: while immersing herself in the local culture, Kidman gets thirsty and even the adorable Rubina Ali and Bollywood star Argun Rampal cannot keep her from her beloved Schwepps... we think. One would think producer Ridley Scott and Oscar-nominated director Shekhar Kapur could put together a one-minute soft drink commercial that makes a little more sense.

Nicole Kidman, Arjun Rampal & Rubina Ali In An Ad For Schweppes [ONTD]

• Residents of Oyster Bay, Long Island, NY are mesmerized by the dreamy and mystical presence of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, who have been getting cozy in their town.

The heavenly hotties have been doing glam stuff like going to Dunkin' Donuts and Stop & Shop. Oyster Bay Town Supervisor John Venditto says: "When you talk to someone who has met them they're kind of glowing. People love saying they saw them. They feel something very special happened to them." A grocery store manager gushes: "They were so beautiful. They looked like they were airbrushed when they were walking. I went up to Brad and asked if he needed help and he said, 'No thanks.' I was looking at him but I don't really remember it — it was like a dream." [People]

• Did Beyoncé send a look-alike for a personal tour of a museum in Vienna while the singer herself went shopping?!?!?? [AFP]
• Because she hasn't been exposed enough, Heidi Montag will pose for Playboy. Except she won't show nips or vag; she'll be tastefully covered. The mag's new editor was previously at Maxim so this makes sense somehow. No, wait. None of it makes sense. The world has gone mad. [Perez]
• Madonna is holding private Kabbalah prayer sessions at her home in which the focus is on being able to adopt Mercy. Apparently 12-year-old Lourdes prays with her mom for a new sister every day. [Daily Express]
• Chris Brown, who is facing two felony charges for beating Rihanna, has reportedly worked out a plea deal with the court. He'll be back in front of the judge today, so more later, probably. [Radar Online]
• By the way, the jewelry Rihanna was wearing the night of the assault — $1.4 million dollars worth — was borrowed, and the jeweler is asking for her to hand it over. But the baubles are evidence now; Rihanna's lawyer is hoping the judge will release the jewels today. [TMZ]
• More on this in Midweek Madness, but Us is reporting that Jon from Jon & Kate Plus 8 was leaving a club at 2 am with a "mystery woman" and wasn't wearing his wedding band. They've got pictures! [Us]
• Amy Winehouse plans on living in St. Lucia. Like, settling down there. The weed must be awesome. Also, we can haz guest haus? [The Sun]
• Oh, good news: Sam Lutfi has been ordered to stay away from Britney Spears for three years. [Reuters]
• In case you haven't already seen it, here's a video of Julia Roberts and her filthy mouth. She really likes the word "fuck." [Pop Eater]
• Dita von Teese has a new man; he's a French aristocrat 11 years her junior. Count Louis-Marie de Castelbajac, 25, is the actor-son of fashion designer Jean-Charles de Castelbajac and his ex-wife Catherine de Castelbajac. Get it, girl! [Page Six]
• Sam Ronson DJ'd a stripper party but the ladies had to keep their clothes on until she was done, or else she couldn't concentrate. [Page Six]
• Ginger alert! Prince Harry will take his first official royal trip to the United States next month. He'll hit a charity polo match in New York and a few parties. He's single and looking to mingle! [Daily Mail]
• Oprah is bored with Twitter already. Look, if you're not one of Miss O's favorite things, you are a failure. Sorry, Twitter. [Silicon Valley Insider]
• Mel Gibson and girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, the singer signed to his record label, went to the screening of Wolverine last night. His rep says: "Mel has been single for almost three years and it's nice to see him getting out and enjoying himself." Uh, what? His wife filed for divorce two weeks ago. [People]
• Start hyperventilating: Christian Bale has signed on for a third Batman flick. Hey, can we get a kick-ass leading lady this time or what? [Wired]
• Kate Winslet says she's not middle class. She is working class. "People don't believe that. People literally think I'm lying. Because I speak nice. My dad was very much a struggling actor and spent more of his life as a postman, as a member of a tarmac firm, as a van driver. He'd sell Christmas trees. Anything. That was my dad. […] Honestly, it was hand-me-down shoes and 10p pocket money on a Saturday that didn't go up until I was 11." [Telegraph via Marie Claire]
• LOL: Catherine Zeta-Jones wants to play Susan Boyle in a film of the singer's life. [Telegraph]
• Would a Susan Boyle book sell? One publishing dude says: "She has a story, but it's a short story." [Page Six]
• Ed Westwick and Chace Crawford might be tired of living together. Cue the offers in the comments to give Chuck Bass somewhere to sleep. [Page Six]
• Speaking of Ed Westwick, aka Chuck Bass, he has a tattoo which says "I ♥ Romance" and one that says "Heartbreak Hotel." [Gatecrasher via Interview]
• Moby hurt his ankle walking into the ring of a kickboxing session. [Page Six]
• Will Benicio Del Toro, who is in my top 3, play Bret Easton Ellis on film? [Cinematical]
• Kylie Minogue hearts golf and spent £40,000 on gear. [The Sun]
• "Rubina Ali's house is flooded with sewer water, and her feet itch. She's discovered a world of creepy-crawlies in the opaque gray water: scorpions, rats and slithery creatures with lots of legs. Two months ago, the child star of the hit movie Slumdog Millionaire was worrying about what to wear to the Oscars. Now she has come home to a very different problem: How to get the fetid water out of her family's one-room shack." [Times Of India]
• Lil Wayne's track, "I Feel Like Dying," contains a copyright infringing sample from Karma-Ann Swanepoel's song, "Once," so Lil Wayne is suing the producer who created the track. [USA Today]
• An Iggy Pop insurance ad has been banned because rock stars would actually not be eligible for coverage with this particular type of insurance. [Telegraph]
• "A stalker who threatened to kill Little Britain's David Walliams was allowed to 'marry' the star in a mock ceremony in her mental ward." [The Sun]
• Perfect timing: Michael Douglas and Oliver Stone are going to make a sequel to Wall Street. Get your tissues ready, this one is gonna be sad, we think: Fox spokesperson Gregg Brilliant says of the new Gordon Gekko flick: "We need to keep the story line under wraps, but it's literally ripped from today's headlines. It's going to be very big and very cool." Madoff-style losses? Sniff. No, not the yacht! [AP]
• Farrah Fawcett's condition: Unchanged. [Breitbart]
• An ambulance driver and a former senator have pleaded not guilty to charges that they tried to extort millions from John Travolta after his son died. [USA Today]
• Poor Ed McMahon. It's always something. Now he is suing Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in L.A. for allegedly misdiagnosing a broken neck. [TMZ]
• Blind item! "Which A-list actor's wife belongs to a secret lesbians-only club in L.A.? To keep things discreet, the club staggers arrivals so its members aren't photographed together." [Gatecrasher]
• "Writers have always been interested in my parents and in my teenage years, which I find so weird, especially now that I'm in my late thirties. That's always made me feel infantilized, like they are talking to me as if I were still 10 years old. I'm made to feel as if I were Annie in the musical." — Rachel Weisz. [BlackBook]
• "[Carrie Prejean's] 'opposite sex' marriage thing made me laugh. I've never heard it expressed that way. She said, 'In America, you have the choice between same sex marriage and opposite sex marriage,' like it was a flavor at Baskin-Robbins. You can have rocky road or mint chocolate chip." — Rosie O'Donnell. [Gatecrasher]
• "I don't think I wanna go back anymore. Seriously, I watched some old tapes recently — Harry [Hamlin, her husband] and I were going through stuff. It doesn't feel right! It feels weird. I've changed my mind. You can't go back!" — Lisa Rinna, who, after vigorously campaigning to get on the new Melrose Place, has changed her mind. [Hollywood Insider]
• "Paula's frustrating, she's annoying and I can't understand half of what she's talking about - but there's incredible comfort between us. I think we're possibly secretly in love with each other." — Simon Cowell. [Mirror]
• "One of the best things about being married is having separate bathrooms. There's nothing worse than saying 'I've got to go, I've got to go,' when it's already occupied!" — Joan Collins. [Daily Express]
• "I was bullied for being chubby. Where are they now!" — Kate Winslet, who says they called her Blubber and locked her in the art cupboard when she was in school. [Daily Mail via Marie Claire]
• "I ran into Mia in Chad this January. She'd been living in the camps and villages on the border of Darfur for weeks. She is as dedicated to this cause as any activist I know. It's these kind of efforts that help keep this tragedy in the spotlight." — George Clooney, who applauds Mia Farrow's hunger strike to call attention to Darfur and Sudan. [Daily Express]
• "I am totally confident that I am an incredible artist and performer. I am extremely confident about my body, the way I dress, the way I want to look. But I have no confidence when it comes to men. Men are a disaster area for me. It's so weird because I believe I am super sexy. I believe I am incredible, but I have absolutely no luck with boyfriends." — Lady GaGa. [The Sun]

• Indian police say they have not found any evidence to support allegations that Slumdog Millionaire star Rubina Ali's dad tried to sell her. [The Guardian, People]

• Three-year-old Mercy James is currently under the care of a nanny provided by Madonna. The director of the orphanage where the girl was staying says, "As Mercy's legal guardian, I authorize where she goes. She is staying with Madonna's people as a visitor. There is nothing wrong with that." [The Daily Express]
• As mentioned in Midweek Madness, British singer Marilyn is confirming long-standing rumors that he had a relationship with Gavin Rossdale in the '90s. "We were together five years, but it felt like 40," said Marilyn. [Perez Hilton]
• Beyonce's dad, Mathew Knowles is responding to the alleged (and now debunked) recording of his daughter singing off-key on The Today Show saying, "If no one took the time to listen to Beyonce sing 'America the Beautiful' and 'At Last' at the Neighborhood Ball for the first dance of President Obama and the First Lady, and they question Beyonce's vocal ability, they've gotta be an idiot. At 12 years into her career, the last thing someone should be questioning is her vocal ability. That would be like questioning if Kobe Bryant could shoot a jump shot. The vocals were obviously altered." [TMZ]
• Miss California Carrie Prejean's grandmother, Jeanette Coppola, says of Perez Hilton, "I don't know why that gay guy Perez was even judging a contest with a bunch of girls. That doesn't make any sense. He should be judging a Chippendale's contest." Perez responded: "Dear Jeanette, I was judging that contest because I am an American. I am a gay American. I am a Latino American. And I am an American who knows a thing or two about women in the spotlight." [The L.A. Times]
• Amy Winehouse's mother, Janis, says that Amy's ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil is trying to get a bigger divorce settlement. "It sounds like his hands are outstretched not only for him, but for this person he's made pregnant. To me it seems like a case of 'lets get our hands out for the money'," says Janis. [The Daily Express]
• Is it a coincidence that Audrey Tautou is starring in a new film about Coco Chanel and is also taking over for Nicole Kidman as spokeswoman for Chanel No. 5? [Yahoo]
• California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger may have a cameo in Terminator Salvation. [CNN]
• John Mayer is dating model/aspiring actress Scheana Marie Jancan, who is 23. [Star]
• This week's SNL host Justin Timberlake says he loves the show so much, "I would go as far to say if I didn't have a career that I felt so extremely lucky to have, I would see if I could get cast on the show." [USA Today]
• Denise Richards made a video for FunnyOrDie about how much everyone loves her "fun bags." It's like the Lindsay Lohan FOD video, with an extra dash of desperation. [Funny Or Die]
• OMG, Twilight fans: Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson went to the grocery store and a fellow shopper says they were holding hands. [E!]
• Chris Cornell says he likes Twitter because, "It's actually created an environment where I can answer simple questions that someone's probably had forever. And I don't mind answering them. And I can actually have conversations with fans that are quick, but still more meaningful than the typical situations you're put into. I've really liked it." [CNN]
• Shots were fired at Duane Chapman, better known as Dog the Bounty Hunter and a bail bondsmen when they tried to apprehend a Colorado man charged with attempted murder. No one was injured. [AP]
• A literary agency is suing Prince because he allegedly backed out of a book deal at the last minute and went behind their backs with another agency. [TMZ]
• Vanessa Hudgens will star in the film Beastly, an update of Beauty and the Beast. [Entertainment Tonight]
• Officials in Urbana, Ill. have decided to honor film critic Roger Ebert by putting a bronze plaque on the sidewalk in front of his childhood home. [AP]
• The website TheDirty.com posted pictures of Real Housewives star Gretchen Rossi riding topless in the passenger seat of a car. Previously, they posted compromising bathroom pictures. Now she's getting the police involved. [TMZ]
• Simon Cowell may quit American Idol when his contract runs out next year to start a U.S. version of the U.K. show The X Factor. [The Sun]
• Vivica A. Fox, host of The Cougar says she is currently single. "I am single right now," she says. "I am a different breed of chick. I like to go by the beat of my own drum. I haven't found a man that I want to answer to." [People]
• Salma Hayek and her husband François-Henri Pinault are holding a wedding celebration this weekend in Venice and guest including Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz have already arrived in Italy. [E!]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt says of dating co-star and long-time friend Jamie Kennedy, "I've heard about it – about being friends with somebody and it turns into something else and I've never really done that before and it's been great. He's hilarious and when you're with somebody funny, they're always funny and it's just great." [People]
• Billy Corgan, the only remaining member of The Smashing Pumpkins, is planning to charge subscribers $40 for 12 weekly 25-minute videos of him working in the studio. [The Guardian]
• Hugh Jackman says of the persistent rumors that he is gay, "I'd be happy to go and deny it, because I'm not. But by denying it, I'm saying there is something shameful about it, and there isn't anything shameful." [Parade]
• The Jonas Brothers will host Fox's Teen Choice 2009 Awards on August 11. [E!]
• Mariska Hartigay says she's feeling "Sooooo much better," since being hospitalized with a collapsed lung. "I've turned the corner and I'm feeling great. Really great," she said. [E!]
• Oh no! Mickey Rourke says he's going to slap Joel McHale, host of The Soup, in the face for making a joke about his late dog Loki. Hopefully Lou the chihuahua will help them work this out. [E!]
• Debra Messing said she met Robert De Niro at an audition. "My first film callback was for Casino, for the Sharon Stone role. I was 24 and had no money and was in school," she explained. "And so I went to an uptown hair place and said, ‘Make me look like Ivana Trump.' And I wore this very fancy - what I thought was a very fancy - black jumpsuit, and I was all ready to go, and I walked in and [De Niro] looked at me, and he's like, ‘What? You goin' to a prom?'" [NY Magazine]
• British singer Billy Bragg is criticizing a proposed EU law to double music copyright to 95 years saying, "This legislation offers the multinational record corporations a potential windfall of the size of the invention of the CD." [Yahoo]
• Kieran Culkin says he threw himself into work to try to deal with the death of his sister Dakota in December. "It's been a rough couple of months. I won't speak for anyone else, but I'm doing okay," he said. "That's the point of doing this interview and stuff. For a little while there, I wasn't going to do any press. I wasn't going to do Sundance. This was all a sort of getting-out-of-bed-and-start-walking thing." [The Daily Express]
• In a very lengthy interview Rosie O'Donnell talks about her children attending a Waldorf School, which involves signing a contract that they won't watch TV or use the computer. "I do it because I didn't have parents - my mother died and my father wasn't home. I had no one to talk to," she says. "I would much rather play rummy with my parent than sit in front of a video game, and when you don't have the TV as an option, you'd be surprised at how much you can interact with your own kids." [Just Jared]

• Eric Ienco, Madonna's former house manager and cook, alleges that Madonna's kids are lucky if they get to spend a half an hour a day with her; "It's a puzzle she wants to adopt again."

• "She's hardly ever with her children. She's got two full-time nannies and one part-time nanny. So why adopt a kid if somebody else is raising them?" he said, adding, "Madonna puts herself before her kids. When she adopted little David, he arrived at her home from Africa - and three hours later, she left to do Pilates. Wouldn't you think she'd want to spend the entire day with her new son?" [The National Enquirer]
• Madonna's rep says the police didn't question her properly after she fell from a horse over the weekend in the Hamptons. Madonna claims the accident occurred when the horse was startled by the paparazzi. "Madonna was barely conscious and had fainted twice, right after the fall and when she was in the ambulance," said the rep. "She only remembers giving the police her name. They never asked her what happened. This could have been a very dangerous situation and we're just all grateful that she wasn't hurt more seriously."
  [Access Hollywood]
• Madonna's trainer, Tracy Anderson, said that even though she "fell on her bum," she'll continue working out. "She doesn't take time off," said Anderson. "I'm just going to modify [the workout] a little bit and get her moving again." [People]
• Channing Tatum says of says of his Fighting co-star Terrence Howard, "The more I hung out with Terrence, he would constantly talk about the craziest shit. Like he told me about how there's no cell that could ever hold him because he'd make acid from his urine and his feces." [Movie Line]
• Terrence Howard says he thinks the title Fighting is appropriate for the film. "This isn't necessarily about fisticuffs, it's about emotional battles that everyone goes through," he said, "Fighting, you know, is more of a synonym for the human condition." Co-star Channing Tatum wasn't as enthusiastic. "Trust me ... I gave them a thousand different other options for it," he said, like, "God, eh, ‘Last Chance,' eh, ‘Scared'…. It's about relationships," he said. "The whole movie is about relationships." [The Observer]
• Channing Tatum won't reveal details of his upcoming wedding to Jenna Dewan, but people can't help but notice her gigantic engagement ring. "Almost everybody goes, 'Oh my God, that is so big,' " said Dewan. "And I'm like, 'I know, I feel the same way.'" [People]
• The mother and stepmother of Slumdog Millionaire star Rubina Ali had a brawl in the streets of Mumbai over reports that Rubina's father was trying to sell her. Sadly, there is a video clip of the two women choking each other. [TMZ]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Jennifer Hudson's rep says she is not pregnant. [Extra]
• After a four year hiatus the VH1 Divas concert will return in September. VH1 is asking for diva suggestions. [PR Newswire]
• A Russian tabloid claims that Oksana Pochepa, one of the women claiming to be Mel Gibson's lover, is a nymphomaniac. "Sex is the most important thing for her. She had a great deal of partners, although she was not like a prostitute," a friend said. "She just loved sex. She had her first experience when she was in the ninth grade and could not stop afterwards. It was like fitness for her." [The Daily Beast]
• Former Miss USA Shanna Moakler wrote on her blog that she doesn't hate Miss California Carrie Prejean because of her anti-gay marriage remarks, "But she lost the crown because she wasn't able to convey compassion for ALL the people that as MISS USA she would be representing. and if YOU like it or not, gays and lesbians make up this country as well. THIS is why we have judges so they can find the RIGHT woman who obtains these qualities. they are crucial in my eyes when holding a honor and title as big as being Miss USA. The panel of judges was qualified and did their job, they represented all of us, men, woman, black, white, gay and straight." [Perez Hilton]
• There's a rumor going around that Cher and her daughter Chastity Bono are pitching a reality show that would follow Chastity's sex change. Cher's rep said they are not currently shopping a reality show, and that if they were it would not be about Chastity getting a sex change. [E!]
• Lakers center Andrew Bynum is denying that he took Rihanna out on her first post-Chris Brown date last weekend. [TMZ]
• Actress Natascha McElhone has pledged to continue her late husband's work with his charity Facing the World, which offers surgery to third-world children with facial disfigurements. [The Daily Express]
• Project Runway will debut on Lifetime on August 20. Also premiering that night: Models of the Runway a half-hour show about the competition among the models. [Time]
• In keeping with the title Relapse the cover of Eminem's new album is a portrait of Slim Shady sculpted with pills. [Rolling Stone]
• LeAnn Rimes says even though tabloids are reporting that she cheated on her husband, she's doing great. "It's something that I'm not going to back and forth in the press about, because it does hurt me and my loved ones, and I'm really not going to address tabloid rumors and I'm sticking to that," she said. [Yahoo]
• Jamie Foxx said he almost quit his role in The Soloist because of the mental strain. "It was something that I enjoyed, but it shredded me. I went to places that I never thought I would ever go. I just remember being in my bathroom broke down, talking to my manager like, ‘I don't know if I'll be able to finish this ... You had to lose your mind every day you're on set, and sometimes you didn't have enough time to get your mind back before the weekend." [Bossip]
• The jurors for the Tribeca Film festival have been announced, and they are a diverse bunch. For instance, the Narrative Short jurors are Thomas Haden Church, James Franco, Mary Harron, Debra Messing and Mary-Kate Olsen, which The Times points out is "the entire leading cast of Ned and Stacy and about half the cast of Spider-Man 3." [NY Times]
• Jade Goody's mother, Jackiey Budden, says while she was dying of cervical cancer Jade asked her to smother her. "If she was on a machine we'd have to turn it off, but when you've got cancer you don't have a machine. She wanted me to put a pillow over her head," said her mom. "I really didn't want to see her go that way." [The Star]
• Whoopi Goldberg says friend Patrick Swayze is keeping busy as he fights pancreatic cancer. "He's kicking butt," said Goldberg. "And, you know, he's sick. And he, like the rest of us, doesn't know when it's going to happen — because it will happen, that he is going to go — but he doesn't know when or where. ... His attitude is, why wait for it to happen? So he's busy as hell."[UPI]
• Uma Thurman is supposedly planning to marry her fiance, Arpad Busson, on Saturday. [The Sun]
• Billy Bob Thornton says of his new action film Eagle Eye, "Every now and then you have to do a big action movie, so you can pay for the house. And you have to pick a good one, because most of them are just crap. And this one is really good." [The L.A. Times]
• Michelle Rodriguez went to the Dominican Republic last weekend to be a bridesmaid in her friends wedding. She reportedly pushed clothed guests in the pool, and at the bachelorette party she called the male stripper "fat" then said, "This is the kind of thing that brings out the bisexual in me." [Perez Hilton]
• On April 17 Dave Grohl and wife Jordyn Blum welcomed their second daughter, named Harper Willow Grohl. [People]
• Dawne Wilson, who allegedly threatened to kill Tyler Perry in an email, has been charged with felony aggravated stalking. [TMZ]
• After returning from a weekend trip to Las Vegas, Lindsay Lohan went clubbing in Hollywood last night with a male friend. [Perez Hilton]
• Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag will be holding the rehearsal dinner before their wedding this weekend at Wolfgang Puck's Beverly Hills restaurant Cut if you care. [People]
• Noel Gallagher says Oasis may be taking a five year hiatus from recording and touring. [NY Magazine]
• In an interview Paula Abdul called Simon Cowell a "masterful bully" and said she almost quit seven times during the first season because she, "couldn't believe that someone was actually getting away with crushing fragile kids. This happens behind your back, not in front of your face ... And when someone attacks you with criticism that isn't constructive, sometimes it's hard to take. [ABC News]
• In her new book, Tori Spelling talks about worrying that her son Liam had a big nose after seeing the ultrasound. She says: "I did speculate about that because when I saw the sonogram, all I could think about was, 'Oh my God, does his nose look large?' Obviously, that comes from what I experienced myself growing up. But when you get your sonogram, it's the last few months of the pregnancy and your kid is running out of room in there-they're all squashed up. So the features are greatly exaggerated. But I didn't know that then. They look a bit scary. So I just put the question out there-is that reaction a characteristic of someone living in Hollywood? Or do moms everywhere think the same thing? Do they all worry about what their kids will look like? I think they do." [The Daily Beast]

• Gossipeuse Janet Charlton claims Jennifer Hudson is knocked up. JHud is currently on tour; her fiancé, "Punk" from I Love New York, is training to become a professional wrestler. [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]

• Amy Winehouse's horribly burned leg is due to a scalding pasta water incident. They tried to make me cook fusilli… [The Sun]
• Rihanna went out clubbing in L.A. and danced and flirted with basketball star Baron Davis. Apparently the DJ said something like Chris Brown should get his ass kicked; the whole crowd cheered — Rihanna included. [Gatecrasher]
• Will Madonna bring Mercy home? Three judges on Malawi's Supreme Court of Appeal will decide on May 4. [The Sun]
• Michelle Rodriguez is a pretty awesome bridesmaid! She broke up a bachelorette party yelling that the stripper was "fat and had a small dick." Then when the dude wanted a lady from the bridal party to kneel for him, Michelle said: "That's bullshit. He should be kneeling for her; this is a bachelorette party." Next? "As the stripper began gyrating and pushing his crotch into the bride-to-be's face, Rodriguez yelled, 'This is the kind of thing that brings out the bisexual in me.' She left in a huff." [Page Six]
• Poor Ann Curry is being sent to both Iraq and Afghanistan war zones. Sarah Haskins was right; the Today show is trying to kill her. [AP]
• Lady GaGa has a new boyfriend and his name is Speedy. Of course. [In Touch]
• Jennifer Garner has been seeing a sex counselor, so she can learn to please her man. A source says: "Ben's great, but he can be very insecure. He likes Jen to play the devoted wife all the time." So Jen sees Dr. Holly Hein for tips of keeping the romance alive and dealing with Ben's "need for attention." "Jennifer doesn't want to lose him. She's in this for the long haul." [Star]
• Here's video of Jen Garner and Matthew McConaughey eating cupcakes while promoting Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past. Warning: It's incredibly dull. [E!]
• The mother and stepmother of Slumdog Millionaire star Rubina Ali had a "catfight" in the street yesterday. In Mumbai, India. And there are pictures in this UK paper. Seriously, what the hell is going on with this poor child? [The Sun]
• Now that singing sensation Susan Boyle is suddenly famous, she has purchased a new fence to surround her house and get some goddamn privacy. [The Sun]
• Susan Boyle's former singing teacher is worried the overnight sensation will damage her voice. [Telegraph]
• Simon Cowell on Susan Boyle: "It had been a long day in Scotland. We'd seen no talent at all. All I knew about her was a name on a sheet of paper. She came out and she looked a bit odd, and the dress looked odd. I gave her five seconds at most. But then she started singing, and within two seconds everything changed." [NY Times]
• Is Paula Abdul going to get up out of her judge's chair and perform on American Idol? She's been dropping hints! [LA Times]
• An "insider" says John "The Player" Mayer has been "recording in a studio and coming on to almost every woman in the vicinity." Plus! He "goes on and on… about how clingy and needy Jen is." Apparently The Player claims Jen Aniston was super emotionally dependent, which is maybe what an immature commitmentphobe might say, so who knows. [MSNBC]
• The US Army is on Twitter — clearly they have nothing better to do — and they want to knock Ashton Kutcher out of the top spot. We're still at war, right? [NY Daily News]
• There is "intense puppy-proofing" going on at the White House, thanks to Bo Obama. [NY Daily News]
• Girls, you know you better watch out: Lauryn Hill will headline the Stockholm Jazz Festival in July. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Debra Messing will be back at NBC with an untitled comedy; the plot? She'll play a laid-off CEO who "is as ill-prepared to be a full-time wife and mother as her husband is to provide for the family." Hilar! [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• A snapshot for the ages: M.I.A., Kanye West, Aziz Ansari and Zoe Kravitz. [The Life Files]
• David Blaine has worked his magic on French model Alizee Guinochet; they're engaged. [Page Six]
• How much would you pay to have lunch with Rosie O'Donnell and Star Jones? Proceeds go to charity… [Page Six]
• Oksana Pochepa, who still claims she is the mystery girl in Mel Gibson's life, keeps a sex diary "with ratings for all her men." This is a combo of slut-shaming and possible lies; kudos to the paper for keeping it classy! [The Sun]
• Perez Hilton went to Criss Angel's show in Las Vegas and Tweeted that it sucked; Criss Angel made and announcement from the stage, saying "We have the world's biggest douchebag asshole in the house!" Now Cirque production company has apologized to Perez but Criss Angel has not. And writing gossip about Perez makes the brain ache. [LVR, LA Times]
• Christian Bale and Mark Wahlberg will star in The Fighter, the tale of Boston boxer "Irish" Mickey Ward and his half-brother Dicky Eklund. [Variety]
• Russell Crowe was on Letterman talking about trying to save Steve Irwin's wildlife reserve — and block a mining operation — in Australia. [News.com.au]
• A lawsuit has been filed against Stephenie Meyer by a former friend who claims Meyer stole her vampire idea. But don't worry, Twihards, it won't halt production of New Moon. Sparkly vampires and Native American werewolves for everyone. [MSNBC Scoop]
• We've heard this before, but here it is again: Gossip Girl's Chace Crawford may replace Zac Efron in the Footloose remake. Possibly because he has the same sideswept haircut? [Mirror]
• This report claims Jessica Biel is so good at pole dancing in her new flick Powder Blue, she's a "natural born stripper." [NY Daily News]
• Amber Tamblyn says that since her new show The Unusuals is shot on location in New York, in between shoots, cast members hit local stores and shop: "No one goes back to their trailers." [Yahoo News via AP]
• Uh-oh: The president of Oprah Winfrey's cable network — due to launch next year — resigned yesterday. [LA Times]
• Woody Allen refused to take park in an "I Love New York" ad campaign, maybe because NYC has so many American Apparels? [NY Daily News]
• With lyrics about suffering and chains, the new Depeche Mode album is "like one long infommercial for B&D." But: "all this would seem creepy, instead of sexy, if the music weren't so hot." [NY Daily News]
• The Cure closed the Coachella festival, but organizers had to pull the plug on the band after 2 1/2 hours: "By the third encore, singer-guitarist Robert Smith informed the remaining audience that he was told he could do only one song but played three anyway. The final number, "Boys Don't Cry," turned into a sing-along as the video screen went dark and the sound system began to power down." [Reuters]
• Blind item: "Which rehabbed actor is back on the sauce? He just can't keep his hands off the booze when he's in L.A.!" [Gatecrasher]
• "You get the financing together and I'll work on the script... I would say [Elaine would] just be getting out of prison." — Julia Louis-Dreyfus on doing a Seinfeld movie. [Daily Express]
• "I most admire Matt Damon and Michael J Fox. I just saw Rounders and it just reminds me. Matt Damon is someone who I want to be. I just want to make his smart choices." — Zac Efron. [Mirror]
• "We definitely don't receive a $100,000 to show up at nightclubs anymore. So that's one huge life-changing difference. It makes me miss the old days, back when Paris Hilton and these fools were cashing in like a gold rush every year." — Spencer Pratt, on how the economy is affecting his life. [LAist]
• "Go to an area where the unemployment rate is the best. Go into a field that you love, but at the same time, that has potential. So many people study the wrong things, they go into the wrong fields, and no matter what they do, it's always going to be a battle throughout life. So find a great area, even if it means that you have to move your family. Find a great area, and a business that works." — Donald Trump's advice for those fired or laid-off. [Time] 
 

• "I lead such a boring life, nobody pays attention... and if somebody does take a picture, it's like I'm eating a burrito, in my sweats, and my mouth is open. It's just — I'm kind of a disgusting, boring person so nobody really pays attention!" — Anna Faris. [Mirror]
• "I don't want to get bored, and I don't want the audience to get bored." — Simon Cowell, on whether next season is his last on American Idol. [NY Times]
• "I had to say it as if it was coming to me very easily. I had to research some of [the words] because the acting coach I worked with told me if I really understood what I was talking about, it would come through a little more true." — Lauren Conrad, on her role on Family Guy, which required her to recite "a lot of facts and a lot of big words." [WaPo]

• Slumdog Millionaire star Rubina Ali's father, Rafiq Qureshi, was arrested last night on charges that he tried to sell his daughter for £200,000. [The Sun]

• Rubina Ali's father says he did not try to sell his daughter and claims it was all a trick by the UK paper News of the World. He said the offer was made in English, which he doesn't understand, and that the whole incident is a "lie made up by foreign journalists playing games with me." [BBC, People]
• Lindsay Lohan is in talks to star in the topless Vegas show Peepshow. It is produced by Mel B. and Kelly Monaco, and Holly Madison and Brooke Burke are also said to be up for the role. [Fox News, Las Vegas Review Journal]
• There are rumors that Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel have broken up. According to a source at Kate Hudson's 30th birthday party he was, "was very much acting like a single guy." [Perez Hilton]
• Rumors that Amy Winehouse wants to adopt a child from the Caribbean are not true. "Amy was talking about adopting in the context of looking after children on the island, perhaps through some kind of music and education-based project," says her rep. [The Daily Express]
• Dawne Wilson, the woman arrested for stalking Tyler Perry allegedly sent him an email last year that said, "You need to check your heart condition because it is filled with murder....your love has been but costly and deadly....Murder I say is the verdict ... Why do you insist on assisting the devil?" [TMZ]
• J.J. Abrams originally offered Matt Damon the role of Captain Kirk in Star Trek but Damon turned down the role. "I actually approached Matt and we had some discussions, but everything happens for a reason. On the one hand, it would have been great to work with Matt - but at the end of the day, it was such a better move to cast the movie with unknowns," said Abrams. [The Daily Express]
• Though she is currently battling cancer, Farrah Fawcett is still planning to throw a big birthday party for her partner, Ryan O'Neal tonight. "There will be cake and champagne," says Fawcett friend Alana Stewart, "Ryan has really been there for Farrah in such a wonderful way." [People]
• Neil Patrick Harris's tuxedo caught fire during rehearsals for the TV Land Awards, which he is hosting. The fire was caused by electronic devices sparking. "He just had some welts on his back," says a source. "He didn't have to be taken to a hospital or anything like that." [E!]
• Michael Caine says his family teased him when he said he wanted to be an actor because they presumed he was gay. "That's what we thought actors were - all poofs (gay). And sometimes we were right," he said. [The Daily Express]
• Anna Faris says of her parents seeing Observe and Report: "They haven't seen the whole movie yet. I'm a little nervous. I told them they needed to drink a bunch of wine - at least three bottles of wine - before they saw the movie, so maybe they would pass out before they got to any of the love-making scenarios." [Mirror]
• The members of Pink Floyd are suing EMI, because they claim the label miscalculated their royalty payments. [RollingStone]
• The first pictures of Russell Crowe in Robin Hood are out and "He doesn't have the old Robin Hood tights," say producer Brian Grazer. "He's got armor. He's very medieval. He looks, if anything, more like he did in Gladiator than anything we're used to seeing with Robin Hood." [Just Jared]
• Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag will get married, legally, on April 25 in Pasadena. [People]
• Brooke Shields says when she was a teenage model, "I didn't want to [look in the mirror]. What if I didn't like what I saw? What if I didn't look like I did in the magazines?" She adds: "I'm proud of my longevity more than anything else. There's a lot to be said for endurance. I'm trying to find the beauty in the whole picture rather than the crow's feet." [People]
• Jared Leto, lead singer of 30 Seconds To Mars, is working with Kanye West on a track for the band's new album. Let says, "We had this song, and I thought it would be interesting to get a different perspective, a different voice on it. There was a serendipitous nature to the way everything unfolded with him and I. We're friends, I think there is a bit of a mutual admiration there for each other's work. I think he's a really kind person, and really creative and a fellow work fiend like myself. So, it made sense." [Rolling Stone]
• Ben Affleck says of his Bennifer days: "The media went crazy, our relationship was selling so many magazines, and we became the first couple to fall for this huge media appetite for taking two celebrities and fusing them together into one horrible, mutated entity with one name! That amount of press attention creates resentment, which was still rumbling when Gigli came out. That said, it was an awful movie. It was like a horse's body with a cow's head." [The Telegraph]
• Colin Farrell said of his six-year-old son James, "I don't know if I would be here if I hadn't had him ... He was a huge part of me going in and making certain changes in my life." Farrell added that he has a "propensity for addiction" and struggled with his identity after coming out of rehab. [OK]
• Rachel Zoe says she wants to change people's opinion of her. "There's really like this big laundry list of misconceptions," she said. "I think, off the top of my head, I would say: one, that I'm anorexic; two, that I starve people; three, that I give drugs to people to make them thin. And I would say that I'm a diva or that I'm this sort of very kind of tough, kind of heartless person ... I'm very vulnerable. I really am. I'm human. I'm super sensitive. I take everything personally." [AOL]
• Lars Ulrich says fans used to ask members of Metallica to have sex with their girlfriends. "In the early days in America back in the mid-'80s, people would often ask us to fuck their girlfriend," Ulrich recalled. "The first time it happened to me, we were opening for Ozzy in 1986 and I was slightly taken aback. But you realise people were serious and you say to yourself, 'So now I'm fucking your girlfriend, are you round the corner, whacking off? Are You taking pictures? Where do you fit into all this?'" [NME]

• Sadness: Slumdog Millionaire actress Rubina Ali has allegedly been placed up for adoption sale by her father, who offered the girl to an undercover reporter posing as a sheik for roughly 270,000 pounds. [DailyMail]

• Ali's father, Rafiq Qureshi, blames the Slumdog Millionaire producers for forcing him to go to such extreme measures, as the family was never properly compensated for Ali's role in the film: "They haven't looked after us. They gave some money at the start but they gave us nothing afterwards. They gave us around 150,000 rupees (£2,040). They've been talking about giving us a house, but all they do is talk," he says, "What they showed in the film is exactly how life is here. The government doesn't help us. We get nothing. We live in one room, seven of us sleep on the floor. I earn £2 to £3 a day. I have to consider what's best for me, my family and Rubina's future." [NewsoftheWorld]
• According to News of the World, however: "In fact Danny Boyle and producer Christian Colson have set up a trust to ensure Rubina gets a proper education, is well housed and receives support dealing with media attention." [Newsofthe World]
• Save the Children has already condemned the father's actions and "urged the Indian government to sign up to the International Labour Organisation's convention to help abolish child labour and trafficking." [DailyMail]
• Madonna has already been released from the hospital after being hospitalized last night for the "minor injuries and bruises" she received after falling while horseback riding. [People]
• Madonna's spokeswoman, Liz Rosenberg, says the paparazzi is to blame for the accident: "The accident occurred when the horse Madonna was riding was startled by paparazzi who jumped out of the bushes to photograph the singer." [E!]
• Keira Knightley says it's tough to balance a relationship and a movie career: "I think you've got to strive for balance. It's the striving that counts. If you're someone like me, who has always been very driven, to suddenly step back and decide, 'Well, love is the only thing', then you need to build up your relationships." [DailyExpress]
• Blind Item: "Which actor needs to give his nose a break? His coke-heavy ‘model parties' have already sent him to the hospital once recently, but he can't stop being host to starlets." [BlindGossip]
• Matthew McConaughey won't be getting married anytime soon: "It's not an institution I'm against at all," he says "I'm actually for it, believe in it and have seen it actually be very, very healthy for many relationships. Some people go through it some great ways. I don't have any plans for it." [People]
• Kelly Osbourne, on the other hand, does want to get married, just not in Las Vegas: ""Vegas is way too tacky," she says, "I'd prefer to get married in London, as I have family and friends here." [ShowbizSpy]
• Beyonce will be doing a guest spot on the children's television show Wow! Wow! Wubbzy! [DailyExpress]
• "As long as I can remember, when I was a little kid I have always been conscious that we are here for a limited period. Not really fearing death at all, but as a little boy I did resent it. I thought it was unfair because there are so many things to do and adventures to have. And as an adult you realise you can never read all the good books. You can't even see all the good plays or movies or travel to all the places you want to see. It's impossible. I don't resent my mortality any more."-Viggo Mortensen[Guardian]
• "Everyone thinks I'm nuts because I speak the truth and I'm very outspoken," said Paul McCartney's ex-wife Heather Mills during a speech to vegetarians Saturday."The meat industry hate me, the dairy industry hate me, the Beatle industry, the landmine industry. So I have a lot of enemies out there. But I also have a huge amount of support."- Heather Mills [ShowbizSpy]
• Amy Winehouse is back in the Caribbean and reportedly dating a waiter named Junior: "Amy has been letting her hair down on the island and is enjoying being single. She instantly clicked with Junior and is just having a bit of fun," says a source, "It's very early days but she loves spending time with him." [DailyExpress]
• Mario Lopez is planning on writing a children's book. What do you think the title will be? [Publishers Weekly]
• A producer originally dismissed Drew Barrymore as a contender for the role of Little Edie Beale in Grey Gardens, but Drew's agents insisted she be given a shot, and, of course, she won the part. [NYPost]
• Is Jennifer Aniston dating Gerard Butler? "They had a fling at the Toronto Film Festival last year but it was all kept very quiet," says a source, "Now Jennifer's single again, she's no longer keeping her admiration for him secret." [DailyMail]
• Marcia Brady's nose was broken earlier this morning by her dumb brothers Greg and Peter, who were playing football and accidentally sent a pass into her face. Now she'll never be a teen model!

• Britney's comeback tour isn't selling so well, and Brit Brit might be singing to empty seats. She's all: "My loneliness… is killing me…" [MSNBC]

• Fans are "stunned" that Rihanna and Chris Brown have reconciled, and are hanging out together at the Miami home of Sean "Diddy" Combs. [Reuters]
• Chris Brown was seen Saturday and Sunday, jet skiing around Miami's Star island, like he doesn't have a care in the world. [Yahoo News via E!, People]
• Chris Brown was not, however, partying with Reggie Bush and Khloe Kardashian: Apparently Reggie's best friend looks "just like" Chris Brown. [People]
• This story begins, "Sorry, Chris Brown haters. The R&B star maybe isn't quite as awful as some media reports are making him out to be." Since he wasn't out partying Saturday night. But what about, you know, how he punched a woman in the face? [NY Daily News]
• Chris Brown has also been recording tracks for his new album while in Miami. Let the terrible feeling that there will be an apology track wash over you. [E!]
• Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson ate dog biscuits on German TV to promote Marley & Me. This is not a joke. Jen said: "They're a little dry." [Gatecrasher]
• Lindsay Lohan has been eschewing pants. She's not even wearing leggings anymore. Just tights. T-shirts with tights. [NY Daily News]
• Lindsay Lohan went to Samantha Ronson's half-brother's bar mitzvah on Saturday. A photographer asked Lindsay — who was raised Catholic — if she was switching religions, to which she replied: "I'm trying." She'll be a nice Jewish wife for Sam. [Daily Mail]
• Lindsay's Facebook status says "I'm converting." [Mirror]
• Speaking of religious experiences: Madonna, Jesus Luz and her three kids attended a Kabbalah service together. [Daily Mail]
• Here's a picture of Jesus putting a "loving arm" around her Madgesty. [Daily Mail]
• Amy Poehler is in the new "comedy" issue of Vanity Fair, but there are only dudes on the cover, boo. [NY Post]
• The father of ten-year-old Azharuddin Ismail from Slumdog Millionaire wants more cash. He says the kid will get less than £20,000 for the hit flick, which has grossed £123million. (There is a trust set up for the child to get money when he turns 18.) He says: "My son has taken on the world and won. I am so proud of him but I want more money. They promised me a new house but it hasn't happened. I'm still in the slum. I want the money now, it is of no use later. Mr. Boyle should take care of my son." [Daily Mail]
• Meanwhile, ten-year-old Azharuddin Ismail has been sick with a fever and vomiting. And Rubina Ali, who played the young Latika, has refused to take off the dress she wore to the Oscars and wants "a proper bed... I have seen what it is like in America. Here, there is garbage everywhere, people get angry, swear and shout. I have realized how bad life is here. I just want to get out." [The Daily Beast via Telegraph]
• Did Katie Holmes miss the Oscars because a "punishing detox diet" left her tired and lethargic? [Daily Mail]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Katie Holmes is not pregnant. [USA Today]
• Nadya Suleman, mother of 14, has been offered a year of free clothing by Custom Kingdom. They make a onesie which reads, "I'm out on parole." Classy! [Us]
• Spotted "shouting incoherently" and "running up and down the aisles" in the Club World section of a British Airlines overnight flight from the Carribbean to London: Amy Winehouse. [Daily Mail]
• "Amy Winehouse's husband out of jail… and in the arms of love rival Sophie." [Mirror]
• Jake Gyllenhaal was seen shopping for women's underwear, but when someone recognized him, he fled without making the purchase. Poor Reese! [The Sun]
• Snoop Dogg was at the Nation of Islam's annual Saviours Day convention on Sunday. Apparently he's a member of the Nation? [AP]
• Real Housewives star Kim Zolciak has been sued by her publicist. At the same time, she is trying to get a restraining order on the guy. [E!]
• Adam Pascal, "Roger" from the orignal cast of Rent thinks Jeremy Piven's "mercury poisoning" is "bullshit." Why TMZ felt the need to ask him remains a mystery. [TMZ]
• Heath Ledger's final film, Terry Gilliam's The Imaginarium Of Dr Parnassus, is "struggling" to get a distribution deal. [Telegraph]
• Michael Jackson has "secretly" recorded over 100 songs to be released only after his death. They will be left to his three kids, Prince, Paris and Blanket, who would probably would prefer a mansion or some cash. [Daily Express]
• Keira Knightley will star in a sci-fi thriller called Never Let Me Go, which invloves a boarding school and clones. [Variety]
• Julia Stiles is extremely interested in school reform; she feels that New York's public schools failed her. She is now email buddies with the school chancellor, Joel Klein. [NY Magazine]
• Prince Harry's instructors are calling him an "instinctive pilot." That's good. [Telegraph]
• Carla Bruni did not get any nominations for the French version of the Grammys. A source says: "Buying a Carla CD became very uncool after she married Mr. Sarkozy, especially when she started dedicating her love songs to him." [Daily Mail]
• Paris Hilton's 28th birthday bash (is this her third one?) involved Paris pole dancing for her guests at the club inside of her mansion. She allegedly told people "you have to wear pink to get in," yet no one is wearing pink in these pix. [Daily Mail]
• The executive producers of The Sarah Silverman Program have threatened to quit after having their budget slashed. Sarah Silverman herself is one of those three producers. They used to get $1.1 million an episode; Comedy Central wanted to bring it down to $850,000 an episode. Tough times? [Reuters]
• Bruce Willis is being sued for breach of contract; he allegedly quit a project he was directing without notice. [AP]
• Tennis champ Boris Becker got engaged on a German game show. [Reuters]
• Siegfried and Roy performed their final illusion Saturday night, appearing on stage with Montecore, the white tiger who mauled Roy Horn. If you missed it, catch it Friday in a one hour TV special on ABC's 20/20. [IHT]
• A crocodile park in South India is being sued by Steve Irwin's widow for using Steve's name and likeness in the park. [Hindustan Times]
• Blind item: "Which mega-star's reputation is being trashed by a tranny in Miami? The endowed lass is telling anyone who'll listen all about his embarrassing sexual positions." [Gatecrasher]
• "I love paint. I like watercolours. I like acrylic paint… a little bit. I like house paint. I like oil-based paint, and I love oil paint. I love the smell of turpentine and I like that world of oil paint very, very, very much." — David Lynch, who makes art instead of films now. [Guardian]
• "[As a child I loved] Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. And I was mad about Errol Flynn. I wasn't really interested in actresses. But strong women I always found interesting-Bette Davis and Katharine Hepburn. And I saw quite a lot of British movies: Celia Johnson and that wonderful Noël Coward movie Brief Encounter." — Angela Lansbury. [NY Magazine]
• "I can't control certain things about myself. I will spend my whole life worrying about my weight. Every day I live I am on a diet. It's like being an alcoholic. For ages you say you don't need help, and then eventually you get some, and then it becomes a way of life." Sarah Ferguson, who says she overate because she was always compared to Princess Diana. [Daily Mail]
• "They haven't called, they haven't written. I keep hearing they're developing one but I don't know whether I'm going to be in it... but they keep doing (fan) polls, and I keep winning them." — Tom Selleck, on the film version of Magnum P.I. [Daily Express]
• "I was never starstruck (by him). I have not seen Star Wars, isn't that amazing... I'm sure it is (good). It's weird that I haven't seen it. We lived in a small town and the movie theatre was an hour away. And I was 12 - the perfect age to see it." — Calista Flockhart on beau Harrison Ford. [Daily Express]
• "In the past my brain would never stop. Now I'm a father the world no longer revolves around me. When I'm with Bronx, he's got my complete attention. He's the only thing that occupies my thoughts. It fascinates me to speculate on what he's thinking and feeling at any given moment. I also love to speculate about what kind of man he's going to become. He could be another Neil Armstrong or Christopher Columbus. Who is he going to fall in love with? What's his hair going to be like when he's 15? Then, while I'm fantasising about all this stuff, he'll go to put his hand in his mouth and end up smacking himself in the eye. He's the single greatest achievement of my life." — Pete Wentz. [Daily Mail]
• "I remember being twelve and thinking, I can't wait until I'm sixteen, because by then I'm going to have a car, a driver's license, a really cool boyfriend, and boobs. And now I'm eighteen, and I have none of those things. None! That was my twelve-year-old self's checklist, and nothing has been checked off." — Emma Roberts. [Teen Vogue]
• "Norah's hopeless, like a bull in a china shop. She has great potential, but she's stuck, despite yearning for more than her situation. She wants to know what happened in the past, and no one wants to talk about it. She's funny and heartbreaking, and I love her curiosity. I'm always drawn to people who are a little off the wall." — Emily Blunt on her character in new film Sunshine Cleaning. [NY Times]
• "If I had a fire in my house and could only save one item of clothing I'd never come outside. I'd burn. I don't have a favorite item as I appreciate each piece I own as a part of my wider collection." — Pharrell Williams. [Daily Mail]
• "No matter what I say, things will always be taken out of context and misinterpreted, will always be turned around to make it seem as though I won't let something go, or that I just keep talking about it over and over. I don't owe anybody anything. I don't owe anybody my side of the story. There are no sides! There is no bad guy and there is no good guy. There are no villains and there is no heroine in this story. It's just not the case." — Jennifer Aniston on breaking up with Brad. [Elle UK]
• "I know that if I eat nothing but burgers and chips, I'm not going to be hired for the parts I normally would. That might be fine one day, but not right now." — Jennifer Aniston. [Elle UK]
• "As a kid I sometimes went to work with my dad. He didn't want me to act but knew if he told me not to I'd be even more determined. He said that the rejection would rip my heart out, but I didn't believe it. I wanted to find out for myself. Starting out, my agent told me I wasn't being cast because I needed to lose weight. So I dropped 30lbs and landed Friends, only to find myself publicly chastised for being too skinny. I didn't know I was 'overweight' until someone told me. Even worse, I offended the entire Greek nation because I was quoted as saying I was not genetically thin, just Greek with big boobs and ass. I feel lucky to have them. All shapes and sizes are beautiful." — Jennifer Aniston. [Showbiz Spy]

• Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady were wed yesterday in Santa Monica. The bride wore Dolce & Gabbana, and so did her three dogs. [Us Magazine]

• A source claims that often, and especially towards the end of the marriage, Guy Ritchie would call Madonna "It." As in "It's in a bad mood today." And "We can't make It angry." This paper has a helpful illustration of Cousin Itt wearing a pointy bra. [The Sun]
• Blake is no longer incarcerated! Amy Winehouse's husband got out of jail yesterday and says of the divorce: "It's all going ahead - but I don't really know what will happen." And! "It's just nice to be on the outside again. Now I am going to get over my drug habit." Amy, who is still in St. Lucia, may return to London to try and "save her marriage." Really? [The Sun]
• Will Chris Brown go to jail? Will the charges ever be filed? Is his crime a misdemeanor or a felony? So many questions, not enough answers. [People]
• Robert Pattinson and Hugh Jackman went out and did karaoke together in Tokyo. Ten bucks says they sang nothing but show tunes. [E!]
• Daniel Radcliffe took a "mystery brunette" out on a date and the paps were there to make things even more awkward! [Daily Mail]
• Remember how Jeremy Piven abruptly quit Speed-The Plow? A grievance hearing took place yesterday, but no agreement was reached. Will producers take it to court? [AP]
• Piven says he dropped out of the play after being examined by a "Harvard-educated cardiologist affiliated with Yale." So there. [TMZ]
• Piven cried twice during the 20 minute hearing and said he'd been "incredibly sick." [NY Times]
• Producers failed to prove that Piven should not have dropped out of the play. [People]
• Initiation ceremonies require Princes William and Harry to drink through a straw from a toilet filled with beer and strip naked to run the length of the runway at the Royal Air Force base in Lincolnshire. This is how you "earn your drinking wings" or something. [The Sun]
• So you know the little girl who played Latika in Slumdog? Rubina Ali? Her parents had to be pulled apart after brawling with each other at her homecoming yesterday. A neighbor says: "They were hitting each other and tearing each other's clothes off." Apparently her mom walked out when Rubina was four, leaving her father to care for her, and her father called the mom a "money grabber." Countered the mother: "I'm not here for money, I just want to celebrate the success." [The Sun]
• Crap: Azharuddin Mohammed, the ten-year-old boy who played young Salim in Slumdog was beaten by his father yesterday. He was tired from his flight from L.A. and refused his father's request to leave their shack and face the media; his father started hitting him. There's a picture of the kid crying. [Daily Mail]
• Even though Jewel hurt her knees while rehearsing, producers are "desperate" to keep her on Dancing With The Stars. [MSNBC]
• Early word is that Lil' Kim is the one to beat on Dancing With The Stars. Can't wait to see her costumes! [People]
• Russell Simmons has agreed to pay $40,000 a month in child support to Kimora Lee Simmons. She has sole custody of their 2 daughters. And now: Gobs of cash. [AP]
• Loving, loving Beyoncé's hair on the April 2009 cover of Ebony! [The Life Files]
• LOL: please just look at the expression on his face in these high school yearbook pictures of Will Ferrell! [TMZ]
• Jodie Foster was caught speeding, and it was caught on tape, but the footage won't be shown. Apparently she got "annoyed," "angry" and "agitated" with the cops. [Page Six]
• Critics are praising U2's new album even as they critique Bono. Writes Washington Post's J. Freedom du Lac: "It's becoming increasingly difficult to hear U2's music without filtering it through your feelings about the other Bono, that strident, sanctimonious swirl of idealism, agenda and ego." [Reuters]
• If you're interested in the 1996 audition that changed Edward Norton's life, click the link at the end of this sentence. [ET]
• This is interesting: A film version of the musical Damn Yankees will star Jim Carrey and Jake Gyllenhaal. Who will play Lola? You know that whatever Lola wants, Lola gets. [Variety]
• Not sure why this behind the scenes video of Mischa Barton at a photoshoot is so dull, maybe because she has the same blank expression in every scene. [BlackBook]
• No idea what Woody Allen's new flick is about, but the cast is intriguing: Antonio Banderas, Freida Pinto, Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin and Anthony Hopkins. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Pink. Dolly Parton. Rocking chairs. For sale! [USA Today]
• The conflict between Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards has died down. So says Charlie's younger brother Ramon Estevez, whom I did not know existed. [E!]
• George Lucas will produce his first film, post-Star Wars. It's based on the famed Tuskegee Airmen. [Fox 411]
• The Coen brothers have a new film, and it's a short, fake commercial slamming the coal industry. [Guardian]
• MC Hammer's new TV show, Hammertime, will give viewers a glimpse of his life as "as a businessman, computer geek, proud father and husband." No word on whether he is too legit to quit. [AP]
• Jermaine Jackson is working on getting custody of his sons after one told a teacher that his mother had been slapping him repeatedly across the face. [RadarOnline]
• This didn't get a lot of press, but people in wheelchairs protested the Academy giving Jerry Lewis a humanitarian award at the Oscars because they object to the way he talks about "the cripples." Producers actually tried to make sure the foreign press wouldn't write about the incident. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Ann and Nancy Wilson of Heart will get a lifetime achievement award from songwriter's group ASCAP. [Reuters]
• Paul Newman was given a posthumous honour by the US Congress on Tuedsay. [Reuters]
• Be honest: How do we feel about the fact that Eddie Murphy will play Richard Pryor in a biopic? [Guardian]
• Blind item! "Which angry comic had a few cast and crew members fired from his hit show - all because they overshadowed him?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I think that what I'm getting to explore is really the heart of a woman. And I can't say that about everything that I've done. Or maybe I've explored the heart of a woman, but it's been like skating on ice. You know, often you don't get to swim in it. It's an in-depth exploration, and kind of a close-up look at a woman, at all the different ways that she… I think in a way it's about love. You know? It's about love… all the different ways that she loves and whether those loves are acceptable or not." — Holly Hunter, on Saving Grace. [The Daily Beast]
• "I know that Ben Stiller for example, he watches American Idol and he'll email me: 'Hey, who got kicked off?' you know, the night it's on. I'm like, dude — I can't tell you, sorry, you're gonna have to watch. Coming up tonight on prime time!" — Ryan Seacrest, on Idol's celeb fans. [Mirror]
• "It's particularly distressing to me to observe that we're fine with these young women, who it normally is, who are chased, stalked, put under siege by battalions of strange men who sleep in their car and follow them and take pictures up their skirts, and when they throw the dummy out or whatever, everyone thinks they've gone mad. I would defy anyone not to be affected by what is, I think, harassment really. I just think it's slightly below a moral code that I have as a man or as a human being. To chase people, it just seems very bestial." — Rupert Friend, aka Keira Knightley's hottie boyfriend, who is in two films of his own this spring. [Independent]
• "I did not kiss her. She kissed me. We had fun." — Teri Hatcher, on her on-screen smooch with Eva Longoria Parker for Desperate Housewives. [Mirror]
• "At times I was incapable of getting enough oxygen to get my lines out on stage, and sometimes I'd forget where I was in the play. This misconception that I was out partying was wrong. My problem was that as soon as I woke up, I wanted to figure out a way to get back into bed." — Jeremy Piven. [NY Times]
• "Ty said he thinks his best chance of beating me is if I get pregnant during the show so I would be too tired to dance. Talk about a strategy! Of course, that would be fine with me if it did happen, so either way would be a win!" — Jewel, on competing against her husband, Ty Murray on Dancng With The Stars. [People]
• "We pay millions and millions of dollars in tax. The thing that stung us [about the criticism] was the accusation of hypocrisy for my work as an activist. I can understand how people outside the country wouldn't understand how Ireland got to its prosperity but everybody in Ireland knows that there are some very clever people in the Government and in the Revenue who created a financial architecture that prospered the entire nation – it was a way of attracting people to this country who wouldn't normally do business here. And the financial services brought billions of dollars every year directly to the exchequer. What's actually hypocritical is the idea that then you couldn't use a financial services centre in Holland. The real question people need to ask about Ireland's tax policy is: ‘Was the nation a net gain benefactor?' And of course it was – hugely so." — Bono, on the criticism of U2 moving part of its business to the Netherlands to lessen its tax burden. [Irish Times]
• "If you get knocked down, setbacks in life, like applying for a job if they don't hire you, keep trying, keep getting up, keep doing it. Don't give up, that's what it's about. I'm so tough and so bad, I can be humble and lift another guy up." — Mr. T, giving advice to the unemployed. [Mirror]
• "'Brown Eyed Girl' I didn't perform for a long time because for me it was like a throwaway song. I've got about 300 other songs I think are better than that." — from 10 questions with Van Morrison. [Time]
• "Hmm, [how to add] a sexy sizzle to your look? Well high heels are probably the easiest thing, I would say. Instant glamour. Walking around in them naked, you don't need anything else really." — Dita Von Teese. [Daily Express]
• "I hope it won't change anything in how other directors and actors work with me. I mean, the Oscar's going in the loo, next to Sam's. I'm not taking it on a set. I'm just going to work the way I've always worked, which is just to get on with it." — Kate Winslet on her Academy Award. [Daily Mail]