On November 11, 1985, Princess Diana visited the J.C. Penney in the Springfield, Virginia mall.

As of April, Will & Kate (TM) have been married five years. How the time flies! And us plebes can celebrate their anniversary by settling down to watch a four-part documentary series on their relationship.

Contact the author at kelly@jezebel.com.

In 1957, Queen Elizabeth II visited America. That visit included an impromptu stop at a Maryland supermarket. Here you see her at the meat counter, wearing an enormous fur coat and listening to an assistant manager describe a cut of meat.

Your morning cereal will look especially sad once you know that Queen Elizabeth II’s corgis are probably, this very moment, chowing down on steak served in a fancy dish.

Today, Kate Middleton is “guest-editing” HuffPo UK. She’s not the first and God knows she won’t be the last celebrity to turn her hand to gratis editorial work.

Joanne Froggatt, who plays the much-tested maid Anna Bates on Downton Abbey, stopped by Conan recently. And she revealed that when Kate Middleton visited the set, she accidentally cracked a dirty joke to the duchess.

Sometime in February, Kate Middleton plans to guest edit HuffPo UK for a day. I thought the whole point of marrying the heir to the throne of the United Kingdom was that you’d never be required to spend five minutes on the Internet?

Princess Cristina of Spain, sister to the current king, arrived at court today to face charges of tax fraud.

Netflix has dropped a trailer for its series about the life and times of Queen Elizabeth, and it looks pretty good, frankly, as well as downright sumptuous.

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we go to our favorite magazine store (because the crappy one appears to have shut down for good) and are greeted by a kind employee who says, “Hey boss, I know what you want,” and hands you an OK!—after which you tear up and feel truly loved.

Prince George started school today. He wore a quilted jacket with suede patches on the elbows, like a tiny baby Barbour ad. He remains lethally adorable.

A reproduction of Kate Middleton’s engagement ring—the sapphire that originally belonged to Princess Diana—will not be sold at palace gift shops, after all. Whatever. The real question: Is this Kate’s handiwork????

Monaco’s royal twins Jacques and Gabriella recently turned one. Seems somebody at the office of royal affairs heard about the venerable American tradition of Christmas letters and decided to do something similar to mark the occasion—except it’s with video, not cozy, and frankly a bit weird.

To no one’s surprise, despite being by all accounts a fond grandfather, Prince Charles has not changed a single diaper since the arrival of his wee Edwardian descendant George. Obviously.

Will, Kate & company have released a family photo alongside season’s greetings to the world. Prince George still looks like an Edwardian ghost child, while his little sister resembles some adorable animated bug from Studio Ghibli. Okay, okay—it’s cute.

Kate Middleton wore a tiara, and it was international news.

The 105-carat Koh-i-Noor diamond, currently embedded in the crown worn by the Queen Mother at her daughter’s coronation, is stunning, enormous, and worth a fortune. And a group of businessmen and Bollywood stars wants it returned to India.

When you own an extensive art collection—as does Queen Elizabeth II—you’ll occasionally need to send a couple of pieces out for some restoration work. Which is how conservators uncovered a man popping a squat and taking a poop in the corner of a 17th century Dutch painting that once belonged to George IV.

In honor of Queen Elizabeth’s 90th birthday, there’ll be a series of exhibits dedicated to the under-appreciated style icon’s wardrobe. Out of my way I have to book a ticket on Kayak right goddamn now.