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Feminism Now Making Everyone Unhappy
Op-Ed Writer: Pro-Choicers Have George Tiller's Blood On Their Hands
What Is Happiness Anyway?
Feminism Makes Women Unhappy, And Other Tall Tales

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Flackette Goes Retro
06/30/09

In reply to Feminism Now Making Everyone Unhappy
My boyfriend makes an excellent risotto (it's the first thing he ever cooked for me, and it won me over), and even with five college and graduate degrees between us, we have enthusiastic sex. That sex is much more enthusiastic than it would be without access to reliable contraception - being nervous does not make for good sexytime. And I'm totally okay with the fact that I have followed a different path than 95% of my high school classmates, who were knocked up by 18, married by 19 and divorced by 25. It doesn't look exciting or passionate, just like an early surrender to the drudgery of dealing with a job they didn't really want and a lack of options. In short, this idiot who is obviously still pining for a life involving the Trans Am he had in high school can stuff it.
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scullymurphy
06/30/09

In reply to Feminism Now Making Everyone Unhappy
I have a feeling Ross Douchat's favorite movie is How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.
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Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!
06/29/09

In reply to Feminism Now Making Everyone Unhappy
'For bright young overachievers, there's often a definite tameness to the way that collegiate "safe sex" segues into the upwardly-mobile security of "companionate marriages"'

Wait, feminists invented AIDS? Is there anything they can't do?

Next they'll tell us the slaves never should have been freed because it took a few decades (shocking!) for things to start settling down.
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exelizabeth
06/29/09

In reply to Feminism Now Making Everyone Unhappy
"Consumption partnerships?" Because before feminism, marriages were NEVER based on material concerns!
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whats_in_a_name
06/29/09

In reply to Feminism Now Making Everyone Unhappy
Hmm, that's funny one the biggest sources of unhappiness in my life light now is the relative lack of other feminist women (and men)in my life. Suck on that Douthat.
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whats_in_a_name
06/29/09

@whats_in_a_name: Yup I really f-ed that one up, kindy remove the "other" from in front of feminist women in my previous statement.
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Justifan
06/29/09

In reply to Feminism Now Making Everyone Unhappy
whr fmnsm fld.

dvrc lw stll bsd n ld ds f wmn bng hlplss s chldrn nd mrrg bng smthng scrd r whtvr. y shld lv wth wht y brght n, nd nt mch mr thn y nd t ctlly tk cr f chldrn.

f wmn gts prgnnt sh shldnt b bl t frc mn nt chld spprt. thr shld b wndw drng th brtn k prd whr n grmnt cn b rchd s bth prts cn gr t hv chld n wrtng, thrws ts nly hr chc ln nd rspnsblty.

ths wld hv ct dwn n ll th bllsh*t btwn th sxs mkng ppl nhppy. bt fmnsm wsnt bt frnss, t ws mr bt gndr wrfr s ths thngs wr nt dlt wth.
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clevernamehere
06/29/09

@Justifan: I think you should go back to the he-man woman hating club from whence you came.
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stacyinbean
06/29/09

In reply to Feminism Now Making Everyone Unhappy
DOUCHEHAT. Sorry, thats all I've got on this one.
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VirginiaDentata
06/29/09

In reply to Feminism Now Making Everyone Unhappy
Please don't hate me, but I feel really sorry for the guy. Imagine if all your life, every time someone speaks to you, it sounds like they are calling you Douche-hat with a lisp.
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schlegs84
06/29/09

In reply to Feminism Now Making Everyone Unhappy
I want to be angry about this man, but all I feel is pity. He'll never know the joy, peace, sex and risotto that comes with a true equal partnership. Poor, poor Douchenozzle
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PandaBearPuffer
06/29/09

In reply to Feminism Now Making Everyone Unhappy
I don't understand why cooking risotto for me and seducing me are mutually exclusive... my man happens to do both thankyouverymuch.
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Flackette Goes Retro
06/30/09

@PandaBearPuffer: Indeed, cooking risotto for me on one of our early dates was key to my boyfriend winning my heart and, eventually, sexes.
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PreposterousHypothesis
06/29/09

In reply to Feminism Now Making Everyone Unhappy
Honestly, my dad is of this school of thought. Douthat, like that CEFaD writer, has basically couched his ideas in so much blathering that he's simultaneously perpetuating and obfuscating his real message:

Before feminism, we (er, men) expected and demanded less of women in society. Now that women have wanted to be put on an equal plane as men, they are going to be unhappy because they are not in their true societal role.

Essentially, the higher the expectations for ourselves, the unhappier we will be when we can't meet them. There is an OUNCE of truth in that feeling sometimes. However, it's a rare woman who is 100% happy with other people defining her role.
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La Chica Lucy
06/29/09

@PreposterousHypothesis: Beautifully put! Friended for that!
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sheistolerable
06/29/09

In reply to Feminism Now Making Everyone Unhappy
Douthat's married, so presumably he's only worried about whether one woman wants to sleep with him. However, I found this line amusingly telling:

"The difficult scramble up the meritocratic ladder tends to discourage wild passions and death-defying flings."

coming from a Harvard grad who's the youngest NYT columnist ever.
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Penny_Esq
06/29/09

@sheistolerable: Maybe he's just trying to justify why he never got any action as a college student? I mean, HE was too busy climbing the meritocratic ladder to get laid. It had NOTHING to do with whether there were any women willing to bone him. Obviously.
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
06/29/09

@Penny_Esq has a new job!: One. Long. Eyeroll.

And I'm sure he received just as many on the Yard.
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shak_diesel
06/29/09

In reply to Feminism Now Making Everyone Unhappy
"Have modern American couples let anxieties about, mortgages and success destroy their passion and romance?"

NYT, please. Really?

Feminazi meritocrat or not, doesn't this apply to um, everyone regardless of class? When did being practical and a responsible partner equate to being prudish? Who says I can't slay the hell outta the career trail with my proverbial machete AND bang the hell outta my BF? (Maybe not at the same time, but you get what I'm sayin)

Last time I checked, we were in a recession that has deeply affected our national consciousness on all fronts...indulgences and excess of all sorts (and just plain ridiculousness) is out.
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Laulau
06/29/09

@shak_diesel: Plus, it is clearly the case that all the stress over hand-to-mouth economies and high infant mortality and such never stressed out earlier generations.
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Penny_Esq
06/29/09

@shak_diesel: The thing is, you actually CAN'T bang the hell out of your BF? Until you're married to him. At which point you clearly cannot bang the hell out of him and should instead lie back and think of Ross Douchehat.
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Flackette Goes Retro
06/30/09

@shak_diesel: Because clearly, there has never been a time in America when people worried about money, work or getting by.
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pmarble
06/29/09

In reply to Feminism Now Making Everyone Unhappy
I don't care a fig about Russ Douthat and happily just choose not to read his nonsense. Nonetheless, I did take a look at Sandra Tsing Loh's piece, and found it irritating. She's guilty of some of the same generalizing as doughy Russ, and just comes over a bit too smug. Here's a suggestion. If you cheat and decide you just can't feel romantic about your apparently blameless husband, so you end the marriage that happens to have two kids in it, don't write a self-justifying article about it.
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PreposterousHypothesis
06/29/09

@pmarble: Yeah, smug is smug, and really has nothing to do with feminism. I just think people like Douchehat like to try to find reasons that these women, who should be HAPPY! HAPPY! HAHAHAH! because they have houses and marriages and stuff, end up feeling unfulfilled. What irritates men like this about feminism is that the ideals allow women to do things like feel feelings, have expectations of themselves, and overall, have a sense of autonomy over their lives, which they can't take.
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Annabellie
06/29/09

@pmarble: What irritated me the most was that this article was basically her saying "because marriage didn't work for me, it won't work for anyone."

She writes: "In any case, here's my final piece of advice: avoid marriage-or you too may suffer the emotional pain, the humiliation, and the logistical difficulty, not to mention the expense, of breaking up a long-term union at midlife for something as demonstrably fleeting as love."

Avoid marriage, or you might get divorced!
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PreposterousHypothesis
06/29/09

In reply to Feminism Now Making Everyone Unhappy
This is insanely confusing. I just need my emasculated fiance to make me a sandwich, bring me a beer, and let me stomp all over him with my feminism, and maybe this will make sense.
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