Jezebel 
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New York, 7:23 PM
Mon Nov 9
52 posts in the last 24 hours
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09/16/09
09/16/09
Also, when I was 19 (ok, last year, but whatever), I lived in a dorm room with cinderblock walls. Lawnmowers woke me up at 7:30 am. Course, I date a 21 year old, not a 1000000000000 year old.
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PS... You suck.
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I blame Jon, but I also blame Kate. It was their joint decision to get the dogs (I'm sure to help ratings too), and who the hell get 2 GIANT dogs when they have 8 kids??
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I hate to break this to you Kate, but saying there was no romance for him probably wouldn't be a lie, if you catch my drift.
09/16/09
I'm not exaggerating, after reading both of those I wanted to cry. In fact, I'm going home now to hug my dogs.
09/16/09
@LawFairy: He even has a heart!
09/16/09
Save the anger for those who are actually hurting gay people.
09/16/09
I'm not gay, so I have no idea about the experience, but I was a little put off by the quote when she called out "lipstick lesbians" as if women who like to do their hair and get pedicures and look "feminine" (though I think Beth looks feminine herself) are somehow not gay enough?
But I temper that because I can't imagine how hard the experience she was trying to describe was so I can understand feeling some anger toward the whole situation and by extension toward people who don't have to experience that.
09/16/09
i think shes being a bit of a bully, to be honest.
09/16/09
But my main point is, I'm not gay (or really fall into any minority group) so I don't know what its like to have my reality shaped by negative experiences due to that, so I will give some leeway to people who have experienced things in that way. I think just dismissing someone as a bully shuts down the conversation.
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My 2 cents.
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Having several gay friends, I've had to learn to remove "that's so gay" from my vernacular (I was a child of the 80's, I never even thought about its actual meaning) and have had to defend my friends against idiot bigots. I just never thought that one particular song was so bad.
@GirlyQ wants Ziva: I guess I have a different take on the song because I've kissed girls in many different situations, both with my boyfriend there and without. I am not gay, but also am not very stringent with how I define my sexuality, so I always just saw it as a girl who was having fun experimenting... oh and also, plenty a straight girl has kissed a guy without feeling for him, so I think that argument is kinda moot.
09/16/09
This is the woman who sings, "You change your mind like a girl changes clothes. You PMS like a bitch, I should know."
In the process of suggesting that ONE guy is indecisive and cranky, she implies that ALL women are. Pop music is powerful and these lyrics are offensive.
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The term lipstick lesbian comes from porn imagery. You know, the kind of porn that features women getting it on for the benefit of a straight man. The kind of porn that has nothing to do with actual lesbians or lesbian sex. That song is just one more example of a culture that constantly tries to frame lesbians and bi women as unthreatening, fickle creatures who'll forget about teh ladies when presented with a real live dick.
It gets old. Really, really fucking old. It's not silly and fun when every fucking time you tell some dickweed you're a lesbian they suggest you take a ride on their disco stick because hey, you'd forget about your significant other if you'd just get fucked by the right guy.
So yeah, not so harmless when you have to live around people who do subscribe to the particular sexist stereotype that song keeps repeating over and over and over.
09/17/09
And defined sexuality, experimentation, or no, I feel very hurt if someone kisses me all night to 'try' something. Especially if they were in a relationship with someone else.
You don't have to dislike the song, but I should think you'd at least be able to see why an actual queer girl might.
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I'm also just pointing out that I don't get all the hate for the song, and by extension, Perry. Its a frivolous pop song and really to get all up in arms about the lyrics in pop music is a zero sum game. There's way worse out there.
09/17/09
Anger at the way queer women are portrayed in pop culture and at the representation of one's experiences/identities is not a zero sum game, either. I can be irritated at Katy Perry and still have anger to spare for greater injustices across a whole host of social issues. Dismissing the experiences of those who find the song problematic because of their lived experiences with a "she should lighten up" is fucked up. "Lighten up" is what all kinds of marginalized folks get told when they raise issue with the status quo, and it's just another way of saying, "Your experiences and your feelings don't matter."
So you don't experience that particular piece of pop culture the same way as Beth Ditto? Fine. But if you want to know why so many queer women take issue with Perry and her song, Feministe had a good piece on "I Kissed a Girl" a while back -- the comments will give you an idea:
[www.feministe.us]
09/17/09
How is it belittling? It's not about YOUR sexuality. It's not about lesbians. It's about a straight girl who experimented and enjoyed it.
09/17/09
My point. You missed it.
09/17/09
I think my original point got missed.... I wasn't trying to say Beth Ditto needs to "Lighten Up" (I think that was the post I happened to respond to) I was just saying I don't see all the hate for the Katy Perry song but qualified that by saying that I don't have her experience so I can try to understand her anger toward the sentiment.
09/17/09
My second and third paragraphs above should have been addressed to the original commenter squeakel.
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And the poor kids! Pets (especially after the damned year these kids have had) can help children get through the most stressful of situations.
But yeah--don't worry about your kids' reactions to losing one of the only constants in their young lives, Jon. You just keep bein' you.
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He just seems like such a sociopath. He seems to have no attachment to his kids, no conscience, is willing to abandon dogs he's had for a while now... just seems like a cold, unfeeling man.
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particularly as shes responding to katy perry who really (imo) is making a positive statement about being open minded in terms of sexuality. sure, shes perhaps 'trivializing' homosexuality by prancing around singing a silly song about it, but surely thats what we WANT? for it not to be such a taboo topic?
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@ TheGuvnah: Yeah, it really bothers me. I will fully confess to being too sensitive and serious about a lot of things, but I'm just not okay with "wife beater."
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