VH1 does not bleep out the word when it is first uttered, or when Ricki Lake talks about the incident, but bizarrely, when Ashley is rehashing the conversation in an interview segment, it is bleeped. Ashley was clearly using "retarded" in a very literal, and offensive, sense, but no matter where you stand on the issue in general, you can't deny the irony of the typo within the subtitle of that screen shot.

Last week, Ricki eliminated Kiki, a former cast member from Real Chance of Love. (Kiki's interview on VH1 Blog sheds some light on how she feels about this, saying that she's "pissed off.") Some of the contestants felt that, by doing this, Ricki was playing favorites toward the white women. In addition, the Real Chance girls were upset that Ashley (from Rock of Love Bus) called them "ghetto." In this clip, the entire group attempts to address these issues head-on.

The women on the show - the contestants or new host Ricki Lake - aren't saying (or aren't shown saying) that there is a black vs. white thing going on, but it really doesn't matter because the fighting is like a Matryoshka doll, where there is always something else nested within (e.g. drinkers vs. light drinkers, weaves vs. bad weaves, loud vs. quiet). While it's not exactly the light-hearted "fun" that Charm School had been in its previous two seasons — when stupid insults were thrown around while someone was being filmed sitting on the toilet and someone else was being filmed puking while her friends held her hair back — it'll be interesting to see how this unfolds.

Nikki, aka DJ Lady Tribe, said that someone that she "met" put her in rehab, and she experienced "two weeks having fun sober," although it would seem from her demeanor at the reunion that she's returned to having fun in other ways. You should really read this behind-the-scenes at the reunion recap. Apparently, Brittanya doesn't know what "philosophy" means, a few girls got new weaves (some better than others), and Brittaney really does have an African-American grandfather.

Touch My Backstage Pass…And Take A Shot Out Of It: Behind The Scenes At The Rock Of Love Bus Reunion [VH1 Blog]
Earlier: The Most Amazing Display Of Drunken Sexuality In Reality TV History

In this clip, he lets Mindy down softly, and she put it pretty succinctly when she said, "Spare me."

Given how this season started out — with women taking shots out of each other's vaginas — last night's episode was kinda what I imagine sex with Bret is like for most of these girls: Anticlimactic. Having eliminated all the drunken partiers a few episodes back, ROL Bus has been running on (hair spray) fumes in its final weeks. At least we have the reunion show to look forward to, but more importantly, we'll be seeing these ladies again on Charm School with Ricki Lake.

Earlier: The Most Amazing Display Of Drunken Sexuality In Reality TV History

Last night, I had a dream wherein I was sitting in the front row of a Bret Michaels concert, waiting for him to perform and announce who he'd chosen to win Rock of Love Bus. But I screwed up his entire concert when I called him out for playing "Pour Some Sugar On Me."

"That's not even your song," I yelled. "That's not your song, Bret!"

Bret then had to take a thirty minute break to pull himself together. Apparently, my outburst, a fellow audience member informed me, had "set off his 'beetus."

To summarize: last night, I ruined a Bret Michaels concert by sending him into diabetic shock after yelling at him about singing a song about pouring sugar on himself. I am not making this up, which makes this even more embarrassing: my brain is putting together bits of Bret Michaels' life while I'm sleeping, which means I should probably stop watching Rock of Love Bus before bed. Or ever, really.

When I woke up, I was both amused and horrified. The dream also included a weird labyrinthine home of Bret's, which had doors that could only be opened via a secret combination, which I did not have. I was trapped in Bret's house, with no way out, which is how I often feel while watching Rock of Love Bus: I want to look away, but I can't.

Does pop culture ever work its way into your subconscious? And if so, does it produce dreams or nightmares?

I only wish he'd done this earlier in the season, while some of the other girls were still in the competition, like he did in season one, which gave us an ROL classic: Rodeo's love song for Bret that included the lyrics, "As we watch our kids at play under a rainbow of never ending love…Grab our kids, L.A. style, let's love right, baby, because I wanna fly."

Anyway, as Bret has said in the past, "Rock 'n' roll is an insatiable bitch goddess, but I love her. And I'm just looking for that one woman in my life to participate in that threesome." I guess that's why he thinks that penning lyrics is so key?

In the clip above, we have Jamie's and Mindy's songs. Enjoy.

Earlier: 'Rock Of Love' Is Music To Our Ears

And they did so in bikinis, natch.



And it was through this challenge - which had something to do with helping our troops in Iraq - that we learned that four of the remaining seven contestants are mothers in real life. We already knew that Beverly had three children, but it was kind of shocking to find out that Brittanya - who has said she doesn't like children - is a mom.



Taya, the Penthouse centerfold, is a mom.



And most surprising of all, Ashley, the stripper with the large breasts with some other guy's name tattooed on one of them, is a mom as well. She also has a tattoo of herself, naked, and holding a gun.



She used this as an activity for the children, who painted clothes on her. She won the challenge and the solo date with Bret.



Lastly, here's a gif(t):

I love that Kelsey said, "I can't be the only girl who got drunk and laid on speed bump." Her choice of grammar gives the sentence a whole different, yet not necessarily inaccurate, meaning.

But seriously, how are these girls supposed to know what "specifically" is OK as far as sluttiness goes, when earlier in the episode they were asked to show their pole dancing skills in a challenge, and rewarded for turning a belly-flopping contest into a wet t-shirt contest? I guess for Bret, the balance is - much like the security of his wig without his bandanna - a delicate one.

Particularly when he was so taken with his own hand caressing Mindy's thigh.

He ended up eliminating the woman whose father died the week before she decided to "make him proud" by going on a reality show to swap spit with Bret Michaels. When confiding in Bret, she told him that her father's death had "rocked her world," which was her biggest mistake, and caused her to immediately stop rocking his world.

First off, for some background, the ladies were told in their message from Bret to "dress to impress" for their challenge. This is how they interpreted that.

And specifically how Marcia interpreted that.

Bret liked it though.

I don't even want to know what I'm not supposed to be seeing here.

What's weird is that sometimes the editors of the show employ blurring, while other times, they opt for blacking things out entirely.

I wonder what the conversations on those judgment calls entail. However, sometimes they use blurring and blacking out at the same time.

Seriously, this woman did not give a shit about covering her tits up. It wasn't just a momentary thing. Once they were out…

…they stayed out.

Maybe it had to do with the rack of clothes that Bret provided for the ladies that night, made by a designer I've never heard of.

But that doesn't explain why they blurred this woman's nipples, even though she had a shirt on.

This is my favorite thing for no reason. Her LOL speak is all wrong.

And lastly, I found the most offensive thing of the episode to not be censored at all: Bret's eye makeup. It's like he just completely went back to his original look in Poison, except without any irony or retro reference. He's just decided that this is working for him.

To which I say:

Earlier in the episode, Melissa feared she had popped her breast implant during the ice skating challenge, and went to the doctor just to make sure, as, she explained, this would not be the first time such an incident had occurred. Turns out she was fine and was able to participate in the challenge prize, which was a group date with Bret — at a strip club.

Maybe she was still upset about her near-breast experience, or the fact that she didn't get that much "alone time" with Bret while they were on their date at the titty bar, but for whatever reason, Melissa decided to make a late-night phone call to someone she referred to as "baby," and explain how much she wanted to leave the show, how she's above "all of this" and perhaps worst of all, how she thinks it's lame that Bret has extensions. Frankly, we don't really understand what her beef is, since she has plenty of fake parts as well. But anyway, when a few of the other girls took Bret aside to tell him about Melissa's phone call, he seemed way more upset about the hair comment than he did about finding out that she had a boyfriend back home.

Bret kinda stumbled for an answer, but ultimately he said that he wouldn't mind if his daughters fell in love with rock stars, as long as it wasn't just a one-night thing. He made no mention about how he felt about the possibility of them doing vagina shots.

Earlier: The Most Amazing Display Of Drunken Sexuality In Reality TV History

Brittaney is an impossibly needy, aging former porn star, who is beginning to crack under the pressure of not getting enough alone time with Bret, despite efforts involving a thong and a striptease that, in her words, proved she's "acrobatic and knows how to have a good time." She had an opportunity to win one of the V.I.P. passes that Bret was distributing during a trivia game, but he was drunk, so he ended up just picking the three girls he thought are the hottest. One of these girls, Natasha, is the only African-American girl on the show, and Brittaney insisted that she only got a pass because of some kind of affirmative action. She then started crying — to the best of her Botoxed ability — at the idea that people might think she's racist, because her "grandfather is black."

So much happened in this 90-minute episode, but naturally, nothing tops vagina shots. The women on this season of Rock of Love are blonder, chestier, drunker, and lezzier than any of the other contestants combined. Bret ended up eliminating the two women who engaged in the vagina shots, which sucks because you know they would've made awesome TV, but there are still many left who will fill the void of, well, vapidness. As one self-aware contestant pointed out, "I'm a centerfold model for Penthouse, and I'm the classiest one here at this point."

We wish that Bret would've kept around Nikki for at least one more episode, for several reasons, but mainly because she:
1.) Sang him a song that she penned on the back of a CDC informational pamphlet about genital herpes.



2.) Is like this: