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VH1's Stance On "Retarded" Is Inconsistent
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Hana Maru
06/01/09

In reply to VH1's Stance On "Retarded" Is Inconsistent
Wait, Tracie, are you no longer a staunch defender of "retarded" as a casual insult?
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EhhKinda
06/01/09

In reply to VH1's Stance On "Retarded" Is Inconsistent
one of my friends called me out when i said "retarded" around her. now when i feel the word coming out of my mouth, it morphs into "rrrridiculous." it has saved me many times. mostly in front of her. and "ridiculous" is becoming more of the habit that "retarded" was. i think.

i'm working on not saying "lame" every stupid second. it's hard.
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Hana Maru
06/01/09

@EhhKinda: I think it's cool that you're willing to change your behavior to avoid further marginalizing a group. It's a good attitude to have. Too many people go to the mat for their "right" to keep using hurtful terms.
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really political haircut
06/01/09

@EhhKinda: People freaked out about the use of the word 'lame' on feministing. I'm not even sure the derogatory use of the word is absolutely traceable to use of the word as a description for a handicap. Either way, I think it means such a distinctly different thing (disabled vs. uncool) in our language that I just don't get the banishment of "lame." People have sent me links about it, but I just don't really see how it can be confused for an insult to the disabled. I always avoid gay, retard, and pussy because I think they're meant to directly reference and insult mentally handicapped, gays, and women, but 'lame?'
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Hana Maru
06/02/09

@really political haircut: It's not that it can be confused as an insult for disabled people, it's that when you call something bad "lame" you're inadvertently associating disabled people with all the bad stuff you call lame. It's like how if I call my old car "gay" I'm indirectly insulting gay people by reinforcing "gay" as a bad thing.
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RockyMay
06/01/09

In reply to VH1's Stance On "Retarded" Is Inconsistent
"Insulting my intelligent" is one of the worst things you can say about me." I am sooooo sick of bimbo tv.
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Hana Maru
06/01/09

@rockymay: Bubbles is really smart, though. She isn't well spoken, but English wasn't her first language. She constantly gets bullied and called stupid on the show. It's really sad.
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RockyMay
06/01/09

@Hana Maru is on facebook Friends plz!: Thanks for checking me. I don't watch the show...I didn't know English is her second - for all I know her third - language. I'm sure this poor girl deserves better than being on this train wreck of a show.
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Hana Maru
06/02/09

@rockymay: No worries. There are enough bimbos and all around awful people on the show for that statement to still apply.
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tiredfairy
06/01/09

In reply to VH1's Stance On "Retarded" Is Inconsistent
Ugh, I'm horrendously guilty of using the word "retarded". And I have really mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, words matter and how we talk to one another is important to me. Calling someone a "retard" isn't any more acceptable than calling them stupid. The intent is to insult, any word in that context is meant to make someone else feel bad.

But there is an appropriate use of the word, literally as someone up thread pointed out (flame retardant, mentally retarded, etc.), as it relates to diminished mental capacity...

So, if that's applied to a situation, say "Everything got so screwed up, it was retarded..." ie. it was not handled well, or stupidly, where does that fall? Would referring to it as stupid or moronic be better, even though both those words are also terms of diminished mental capacity?

I suppose I fall under the category of people who hate misusing words as a insult that don't actually mean something insulting. For instance, "gay" literally means joyful or homosexual. Not "stupid". So using it in place of "stupid" or "lame" is incorrect and doesn't even relate to the actual meaning of the culturally applied one. But then we define words by how we use them and meanings shift.

So, if a situation is stupid, is it "retarded", or is that basically just a word we should forego altogether. I wish I didn't feel conflicted about it (and I have made an effort not to use it thoughtlessly or casually) but I do.
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Laulau
06/01/09

@tiredfairy: But the question here isn't one of correct usage. (Correct usage is why it drives me nuts when someone says something is "really unique".) The question is using a term that describes a certain group or neutral characteristic as a slur. And so long as "retarded" is associated with the developmentally disabled - which it currently is, not only socially but by the APA - we shouldn't use it as a slur. If language ends up evolving so that it isn't associated with that group - as I genuinely think "moron" no longer is - then it's open game.
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tiredfairy
06/01/09

@Laulau: Fair enough. I'm not at all defending it's use as an insult, FYI. As I said, it's a word I'm trying to get out of my vocabulary.

I do think it's worth discussing, though, when a word has more than one meaning...like the actual vs. the applied. Or if the applied meaning has some relation to the actual meaning, or none (such as either application of the word "gay').

And moron and stupid are definitely still associated with the concept of that. I mean, the words mean unintelligent, which is technically diminished mental capacity of some kind. Frankly speaking, they're all "bad" words in the strictest sense as they're all being applied as insults. And specifically insults about mental acuity.

So I guess it's that moron and stupid have become general terms that are no longer applied specifically to people with mental disabilities or associated with them exclusively.
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tiredfairy
06/01/09

@tiredfairy: And to sum up, as I think it reads like I'm somehow excusing the use of a word in an insulting manner as long as it "relates" to the actual meaning (which, no, FAIL, tiredfairy)...it's just not a word to use in any other sense than the actual medical diagnosis.

So yeah, I'm a fuckhead. :]
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Laulau
06/01/09

@tiredfairy: As I said in an earlier comment, I occasionally say it too, to my great shame. :/ That's why I'm grateful for posts like this!
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Cafezinha
06/01/09

In reply to VH1's Stance On "Retarded" Is Inconsistent
I was called out on here recently for using it. As sensitive as I am to inappropriate usage of "fag", "gay", and other uses of gay slurs as insults, you'd think I'd have my shit together and be a bit more hip to how hurtful it can be.

The language used was a bit biting ("Welcome to 2009"), but it got my attention and made the point.

My question is, will "retard" and related terms eventually become popularly used like "idiot", "moron", and "dumb"? And how did those manage to stick around, anyhow, without being considered offensive or as outdated and embarrassing as "old-timey" racial slurs?
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nora charles
06/01/09

@Cafezinha: Honestly, I think it's only within the past 30 years or so that society has cared much about the developmentally disabled. It's easy enough for slurs to be worked into the general language when most people aren't speaking up.

Unfortunately, most of society's words for stupidity have been used to malign the developmentally disabled (or mute, etc.) at one point or another, so very few of them are free of stigma. And whenever the community around the developmentally disabled does away with one term and creates another "stigma-free" word, that one just gets co-opted to mean "stupid" too. (Note how when "retarded" fell out of favor, "special" became the pc euphemism--and people immediately began kicking that one around to mean "stupid" too.) I don't use the words because I understand that it's hurtful, but language evolves regardless, and I think it's naive to think that any word associated with the developmentally disabled will be stigma-free any time soon, if ever.
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Laulau
06/01/09

@nora charles: That is a really excellent point about "special". That the community managed to find a word with all positive connotations, and the rest of society managed to make it negative. I already feel badly that I occasionally slip and use "retarded", but I'm going to work twice as hard at not doing so now.
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Gumbina80
06/01/09

In reply to VH1's Stance On "Retarded" Is Inconsistent
"Dumb" used to mean "mute." "Idiot", "moron" and "imbecile" were used to classify certain individuals who were "weak minded."

I'm of the mind that "retarded" shouldn't be used to describe an individual with learning disabilities or other psychological conditions. As an insult, I don't see why it's more offensive than "idiot."
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Penny
06/01/09

@Gumbina80: Yes but "idiot" and "moron" were never the proper medical terms used for those conditions. You really have it backward. Someone CAN be mentally retarded, and it therefore should not be used as an insult. At least in my opinion.
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argle-bargle? or fou-ferraw?
06/01/09

@Penny: hate to nit-pick, buuuuuut... idiot WAS a medical term that specifically referred to an adult individual with a mental age of two or below, which is what we would describe as profound mental retardation today. moron referred to an adult individual with a mental age of eight-twelve; the equivalent of mild mental retardation. downs syndrome was referred to (clinically!) as mongolism until the 1960s. it's icky, right?

these terms were in use well into the twentieth century and were eventually discarded because they were deemed insensitive (really?!)

still though, i understand why one would take offense at hearing one and not the others. 'retard' is currently used as a medical term; idiot and moron are not. at this point they're really just vestiges of psychology's prolonged assy phase; more an insult to psychology than anything else.
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♥AntiSocialSocialite♥
06/01/09

In reply to VH1's Stance On "Retarded" Is Inconsistent
I've been actively trying to make my little brother stop saying that - after expunging "that's so gay" from his lexicon.

This campaign from the Special Olympics really drives the point home:

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save jinger
06/01/09

In reply to VH1's Stance On "Retarded" Is Inconsistent
People are still saying "retarded"?! That is so gay!
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Penny
06/01/09

@save jinger: LOL
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YourScreenplaySucks
06/01/09

In reply to VH1's Stance On "Retarded" Is Inconsistent
Is this different than the (completely acceptable) colloquial use of the words crazy, nutcase, psycho, etc.?
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kimboslice
06/01/09

@Your Screenplay Sucks: You make a good point. Calling someone crazy could be offensive. However, people don't seem to worry about insulting the mentally unstable as much.
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Schm
06/01/09

@kimboslice: Also, "crazy" isn't exactly used as a clinical or diagnostic term, so I don't really find it offensive. However, when people throw around "schizo" it pisses me off to no end.
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Hana Maru
06/01/09

@Your Screenplay Sucks: Well, a lot of mental health activists and their allies do avoid those terms as casual insults.
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Kilotwat
06/01/09

In reply to VH1's Stance On "Retarded" Is Inconsistent
Here's a host of other terms associated with various disabilities you may want to avoid: crazy, dumb, moron, blind, and "two left feet". Cousin of a friend had the last one. Tragic stuff.
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MarissaExplainsItAll
06/01/09

In reply to VH1's Stance On "Retarded" Is Inconsistent
I hate when people call each other that. I've volunteered w/ developmentally disabled and two of my cousins are autistic. It is incredibly disrespectful and petty to use "retarded" in that way. It is more personal to me since I have ADHD. When peers found out about my disorder and the medication I took, they would call me a "retard". Being a young girl w/ low self esteem, those words caused many tears throughout my childhood. I really want to encourage people never to use that word and to correct close friends and family when they use it too.
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Penny
06/01/09

In reply to VH1's Stance On "Retarded" Is Inconsistent
And, the verb (to) "retard" is still used quite often, most notably in fabrics/materials (i.e. flame-retardant). It's not like it's some awful, hurtful word. It's just a matter of being mindful.

That said, I hate when people get jumped on (as someone did on this very site by a commenter last week) for using the word. I feel like it's when my (white) aunt used to reprimand me for saying "Black" instead of "African-American."
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gaudette
06/01/09

In reply to VH1's Stance On "Retarded" Is Inconsistent
I'm actively trying to excise it from my vocabulary right now, which is hard considering I was born and raised in Boston and it has been burned into my brain since the second grade.

I figure I did it with "fag" when I was twelve and I can do it with "retarded."
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district of confusion
06/01/09

@gaudette: A friend of mine has trained herself away from the word by saying Ridiculous instead. Since it starts w/ the same sound, it makes it easier to retrain the brain.
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Grim Reaper of the Forest
06/01/09

@gaudette: I haven't used it copiously since Junior High, but as someone also born and raised in the Boston area, it occasionally slips out, like "wicked".
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DinaRonson : Elizabeth Cady Stanton
06/01/09

@gaudette: That's just wikid ritaaded, you home wrekah!
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NellMood
06/01/09

@district of confusion: That's how I retrained myself, too.
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The HZA.
06/01/09

In reply to VH1's Stance On "Retarded" Is Inconsistent
I've always been bugged by people saying "retarded" since my brother has a slew of developmental problems. And it's just not cute to say.

VH1 has always been inconsistent in editing. Maybe it depends on who is in the room at the time.
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juinee
06/01/09

@The HZA. [member of the zombie nation]: ugh. I'm totally guilty. I'm trying really hard not to but sometimes it kind of slips out.
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The HZA.
06/01/09

@juinee: You are aware you do it. And you probably don't say it constantly like some people.

It's ok, you'll stop saying it. That sounded really weird...
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NefariousNewt
06/01/09

In reply to VH1's Stance On "Retarded" Is Inconsistent
I worked with the autistic and developmentally disabled for eight years -- "retarded" is not one of my favorite words. It's another holdover of the idea that intellect is quantifiable in terms of numbers, and someone is only intellectually capable if they have the right IQ.
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WashingMyHair
06/01/09

@NefariousNewt: I'd bet that Bubbles has a higher IQ than Ashley. Regardless, her intent was hurtful and just plain mean.
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