The Golden Globes! So many drunk winners and so many more drunk losers! Tight-lipped smiles. Barely-contained grimaces on beautiful Hollywood faces. The losers are the true heroes of the night! Here are the ones who gave this year's best performances.
Here's something you never knew you wanted: Robert Redford giving smoldering eyes while a Kanye West track plays.
Match.com enthusiast Martha Stewart cannot, for the life of her, remember why she didn't try to go down to Pound Town back in her days as a preppy young thing who worked at a pastry shop outside a Ralph Lauren store in Connecticut and occasionally sold Hubbell Gardner scones or whatever. Lady, I feel THAT.
- Prince William popped the question! He asked Kate Middleton to marry him! The press can no longer call her Waity Katie!
- Eminem says Elton John helped him fight his drug addiction. "He had a substance-abuse problem in the past. So when I first wanted to get sober, I called him," explains Em.
- After nine days in a burn center, Travis Barker has been released from the hospital and is heading back to L.A. By bus. A friend says: "He will never fly again – ever." [People]
- Shanna Moakler is sticking by her ex-husband, because they still love each other. Also: "He's not in good shape," a source says. "It's very…