Whenever I mention the weather, someone is like, "you don't know cold/heat/snow/rain." I live in [insert region of extreme weather.]" But in the immortal words of my college friend Ben, "because it's cold one place, doesn't mean it isn't also cold somewhere else." (I was suggesting that he should find a cold day a cakewalk after growing up in the Klondike.) Anyway, all I'm saying is, single digit temps was awfully chilly for Blake Lively to be sporting an 1890s showgirl costume.


Can anyone see model Michelle Hicks' faux-imal extravaganza and not think of the immortal Singin' in the Rain lyric, "the sleeves are lined with monkey fur to lend a dash of drama."


The proportions of Ashley Greene's getup are dubious, highly dubious - but it's still a positive refinement on Jessica Biel's infamous Oscars "sauna towel", yes?


Jessica Szohr shops her closet, to good effect. I don't know how these other dames were functioning sans tights, frankly. Let alone sleeves.


I mean, take Eva Mendes: wouldn't you agree that the combination of wispy dress, tights and structured jacket actually looks cooler? (As well as warmer.)


Rachel McAdams is Adler. Rachel McAdams is also wearing a molded cornice around the bosom.


I kind of dig both Robert Downey Jr.'s Sherlock country house getup and Susan's Studio 54 costume - but I find myself wishing they were dressed for the same party.


I'll give Cody Horn (with President of Warner Bros. Alan Horn) the benefit of the doubt and assume her derby is in honor of the movie, because this is a trend so absurd as to be beyond parody.


Jonny Lee Miller wears a suit well, say what one will.

[Images via Getty]

• Robert Pattinson freaked out when a fan jumped out of a car at a red light and kissed him explaining, "My mom wouldn't pull the car over to let me out because I'm just getting over the swine flu…"

• Pattinson shoved the girl off of him and yelled "You have the swine flu?!… What the hell are you doing kissing anyone?" Then he went to the nearest drug store and bought some Listerine. This story was brought to you by the National Enquirer and quite possibly, the letters B and S. [News.com.au]
• Jon Gosselin was in court today to face a former lawyer who is suing him for non-payment. [Radar Online]
• Sources say Jon and Kate Gosselin's final divorce decree will be issued today or tomorrow. Also, after photos surfaced of Jon shooting a handgun on his lawn in Pennsylvania yesterday, a judge ordered Jon not to bring a firearm onto the property he and Kate own. [Radar Online]
• Charles Fradenburg, Kurt Cobain's uncle, said his sister Wendy O'Connor has been trying to get custody of Frances Bean Cobain for many years because Courtney Love " is not fit to take care of Frances, she can barely take care of herself ... Courtney wasn't doing any parenting at all, she was hiring nannies to do all of the work." [TMZ]
• This is just sad although take it with a grain of salt: Theresa Rogers claims that Tiger Woods told her during their affair that he only married Elin Nordegren to boost his public image. [Radar Online]
• A resident of Windermere, Florida says Tiger Woods heads to a nearby course and hits golf balls "to clear his head" at night. "He goes after dark so he can't be seen. For him, what's more therapeutic than hitting golf balls, the thing he's best at in the whole world?" says the source. [Us]
• Erin Muller got her ex Michael Lohan arrested on Monday for violating her restraining order, so he had her arrested today for allegedly kicking him in the head on November 14. He says he wanted to get her out of her car because she was "too drunk and high" to drive. [TMZ]
• Kevin Jonas will marry Danielle Deleasa this weekend on Long Island. [Radar Online]
• Red Hot Chili Peppers guitarist John Frusciante quit the group for a second time because, he says, "my musical interests have led me in a different direction." [Reuters]
• Amanda Seyfried is now too big for Big Love. "She's been exploring her movie career for a couple of years now, and we've been giving her a lot of room to do that," says Big Love creator Will Scheffer. "I know having a commitment to a show for six months definitely cuts into her ability to pursue that career." At the end of the season, her character will move away. [TV Guide]
• The executors of Michael Jackson's will are asking the court for "extraordinary compensation" rather than the usual executors fee because they've had to defend the estate against both Joe and Katherine Jackson and hey've been working 14 hours a day, 7 days a week to sort out MJ's finances. [TMZ]
• Steven Burky has been charged with two counts of felony stalking for allegedly breaking a restraining order Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner filed against him last year. Garner says he's been stalking her since 2002 and he was arrested earlier this week outside Violet Affleck's school. [TMZ]
• Ashanti's mother Tina Douglas testified today against Devard Hurd, the man accused of sending Ashanti's family members pictures of his genitals and text messages about having sex with her. "It was just disgusting and humiliating and extremely frightening," Douglas said. [AP]
• LeeLee Sobieski gave birth to her first child with her fiance, menswear designer Adam Kimmel ,late last night. They're keeping the name under wraps for now. [Us]
• Tom Brady was asked how week one went for his new baby with Gisele Bunchen. "It's good. It's good. I'm glad it's over!" said Tom. "I'm trying to get back to my normal sleep schedule, which I'm sure, for all of us parents, is a little tough early." [People]
• Oprah Winfrey donated $1.5 million to the Ron Clark Academy, a private middle school in inner-city Atlanta. Last December Oprah donated $365,000 to the school. [AP]
• Loretta Lynn cancelled a string of shows and insiders say its because she has the flu and is "fighting for her life." "Loretta's stubborn. She wanted to play the dates, but her doctors told her point-blank she needed to rest for weeks," says a source. "But Loretta insists, 'You tell me I can't sing anymore, you might as well dig the hole and throw dirt on me.'" [Contact Music]
• Melanie Griffith's rep announced that she had surgery to remove early stage skin cancer from her face. The procedure was done early enough to prevent more complications. [AP]
• Lady Gaga says her song "Dance In The Dark" is about "a girl who likes to have sex with the lights off, because she's embarrassed about her body. She doesn't want her man to see her naked. She will be free, and she will let her inner animal out, but only when the lights are out... These lyrics are a way for me to talk about how I believe women and some men feel innately insecure about themselves all the time. It's not sometimes, it's not in adolescence, it's always." [MTV]
• 1.42 million people watched Tuesday's episode of Bad Girls Club, making it Oxygen's highest-rated non-finale show ever. [Media Week]
• Guy Ritchie says he wanted to make sure Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law were friends before they started shooting Sherlock Holmes. "What was essential to me is that when these guys first met as mates that they really got on with one other, and they did — within five seconds," Ritchie said . "Rudy [Downey Jr.] and Judy [Law] and I had a lot of late nights in the pub." [CNN]
• Jude Law says he regrets changing his name from David Law because, "(I was) assigned to the girls' dormitories and sleeping quarters when I was a teenager and I joined the National Youth Music Theatre. Someone took a look at my name and clearly thought, 'It has to be a girl.' How wrong can you get?" [Daily Express]
• Q: "So when are you going to be made a Sir?" Hugh Grant: "You would assume it's around the corner. No, I'm pretty hated in my own country, sadly. I love it, it hates me." [Popeater]
• Hugh Grant says that in Did You Hear About The Morgans, "I look ridiculous. I look like some old lesbian." [CBS News]
• Sarah Ferguson, who produced The Young Victoria, says the character she relates to most in the film is, "Prince Albert, because I know what it's like to be a guest. It is very difficult when you are not born in to it, to fit in to a life that you cannot logically understand. [Those born to it] are born to duty and to be selfless to the grave." [Reuters]
• "I had a girl come up to me once with a sunflower, like, she just came running up to me, and she just wanted to say thanks for being in Almost Famous. I was like, 'Thank Cameron Crowe!' And I thank him every day, I do. That experience for me was like growing up. So thank you for asking about it, and feeling so strongly about it, because that film was a huge part of my life, too." — Kate Hudson [Nylon]
• "As I look back, I've always been so proud of what I've been able to do in film. It was sort of by default that I created this strong identity or the voice of the misfit or the disenfranchised or the outsider. For me, I just look for complexity. Even in the early years, like in the '90s, I was just looking for interesting roles or working with filmmakers that allowed me to bring more to the table than these cookie-cutter youth roles. And particularly being a young female, they usually were a daughter who is pretty in-the-box, like, "Precocious Girl!" or the girlfriend — "She's desirable! She's on the cusp of womanhood!" — or whatever these boring things were." — Juliette Lewis [USA Today]
• "I always get thrown out of the set, because asking for too many takes. I have a problem with that. I cannot let go. I cannot say 'OK, now we can stop and move to the next thing...' I drive everybody crazy because I can't control myself. I always want to do one more." — Penelope Cruz [Daily Express]
• When asked how her beauty routine has changed over the years, Cate Blanchett said, "Back then, I'd go to bed with my makeup on if I'd been out. And I went through a big Gothic phase, so my pillow was always covered in black mascara and white pancake makeup." [People]
• One of Demi Moore's Twitter followers wrote after seeing a recent picture of her, "Sorry but, you look old... specially your neck and cheecks [sic] at the second shot... i'm really sorry." She replied: "I'm 47, how am I supposed to look?." [Daily Mail]

Rachel McAdams: Studio 54 Olympus.


How dapper is Ozwald Boateng - controversial stripe and all? Man, the Brits.


Robert Downey Jr (with wife Susan Levin) does not seem to have profited from his proximity to Savile Row. Unless, that is, muscle tees and fedoras are being cranked out by bespoke tailors.


The combination of little girl's party dress and medieval chatelaine's girdle somehow works on Jenni Falconer.


A good rule of thumb is probably "union jack purse" or "leopard pumps." But Zara Martin knows rules are made to be broken.


Jude Law skews oddly "Little Tramp." Having seen him on Broadway in yoga togs not a few weeks ago, however, I can assure you that he is in fact still both handsome and extremely handsome.


A free imaginary cupcake to whoever can interpret the allegory on Kelly Reilly's dress.


It's like Heather Graham is channeling Roller Girl: the later years.


It's like Gwen Stefani creates a cool whirlpool that draws all coolness into her orbit. This is how to do easy winter!

[Images via Getty]

• During a recent interview, BBC reporter Andrew Marr asked Nicole Kidman about "one of the things you haven't talked about before... Scientology - a lot of people would say it is a bullying cult." Nicole stammered, then said:

• "This is just so not... I'm here to publicize Nine. If I was here to do an exposé on myself then I'd be like, ‘Let's go', but I have no interest in discussing any of that." Marr pressed: "You don't want to talk about Scientology?" and Nicole said, "No, I'll talk about Nine." Video here: [Times of London]
• Have Kate Hudson and A-Rod split? Sources say he was partying with other women in Miami this weekend while Kate Hudson was promoting Nine in New York. One eyewitness who saw him with two women said, "He was acting VERY single, and Kate Hudson was definitely not there." Another source added, "They are totally over." [Hollywood Life]
• Kourtney Kardashian gave birth to her son Mason Dash Disick this morning. As you'll recall, "Dash" is also the name of the Kardashian's boutique. [E!]
• Courtney Love lost custody of her 17-year-old daughter Frances Bean Cobain on Friday after a long period of unstable behavior. Kurt Cobain's mother and sister were named Frances Bean's legal guardians. [TMZ]
• Police documents show that Florida's Department of Children and Families is investigating whether there was a "domestic in front of children" involving a weapon at Tiger Woods' house on Thanksgiving, but a spokeswoman for the agency said, "I'm just not able, by law, to give confirmation about whether we visited the children." [Radar Online]
• In her first post-scandal public appearance, Elin Nordegren pumped gas on her way to a Christmas party... and she wasn't wearing her wedding ring. [Radar Online]
• Tiger Woods' private jet flew from Boston to Sweden on Sunday, but only the pilot and two flight attendants were on board. Sources say Elin Nordegren is moving to Sweden, but it's unclear why the jet went without her. [Radar Online]
• Tiger Woods' high school girlfriend Dina Gravell-Parr revealed that he broke up with her by letter. She said of Elin Nordegren, "That could of been me... Thank God it's not!" [Radar Online]
• Tiger Woods skipped his best friend Bryon Bell's recent wedding, but he was still listed in the program as the best man. [TMZ]
• Tiger Woods' mistress Jamie Jungers says, "With all the things that have happened, it's probably in my best interest to move up here [to New York]," whatever that means. [N.Y. Magainze]
• Tiger Woods' 14th reported mistress, Theresa Rogers, has hired attorney Gloria Allred, who is also representing Rachel Uchitel. Rogers is in her 40s, making her the oldest of Tiger's reported dalliances. She also claims she slept with him both before and after he married Elin Nordegren. [Radar Online]
• Looks like Rachel Uchitel won't be suing Joy Behar for calling her a hooker. Gloria Allred released this statement: "We accept ABC's apology and this resolves the matter with ABC. Our action and this apology should also send a message to the public that Rachel values her reputation and that she will consider all of her legal options against anyone or any entity which defames her." [TMZ]
• Sources say Rachel Uchitel has been getting death threats from people who got her cell phone number from a 2001 photo posted on the internet. [TMZ]
• Over the weekend Chris Brown posted a profanity-laced rant on Twitter because he couldn't find his album Graffiti at the Walmart in Wallingford, Connecticut. A Walmart spokesman responded: "We are surprised at the comments online. All Walmart stores nationwide have carried the CD since its release, including the Wallingford store mentioned in the post. This store actually sold through its initial shipment over the weekend. The majority of our stores today are showing they do have copies available." [People]
• You won't miss a minute of Joel Madden's mouth surgery thanks to Twitter. He's been updating everyone on his recovery all weekend. [Radar Online]
• Hailey Glassman has reunited with her mother after an estrangement sparked by her relationship with Jon Gosselin. Hailey wrote on Twitter: "I got the best present for Hanukkah, which was my family n I reunited after all the outside manipulations and lies by 'others' ... This is the 1st yr. I don't care about a gift. My family is my gift n I am so grateful. I'm with my Mom right now,we are doing face masks! :-)." [Radar Online]
• Although some sources are claiming Orlando Bloom proposed to Miranda Kerr, Bloom's rep says, "There is no truth to any rumors of engagement." [People]
• Jude Law was sitting next to Robert Downey Jr. at a Sherlock Holmes press junket when reporters asked about his relationship with Sienna Miller. Jude replied: "The only person I'm in love with at the moment is sitting on my left." [The Mirror]
• David Beckham's London football academy is closing, but the school will live on. A spokesman said: "The David Beckham Academy itself is not ending, this site is coming to the end of its lease but we are planning a more flexible model which will reach communities and schools across the country and internationally." [The Independent]
• Fans have been sending messages of support to the Duggars because their 19th child Josie Brooklyn was born three months early on December 10 and is in the NICU for extended care. [People]
• Hugh Grant said he was drunk when he told an assistant to bid £2 million on an Andy Warhol painting of Elizabeth Taylor, but it worked out for the best: he sold it later for £13 million. [The Guardian]
• Grizzwald "Grizz" Chapman, who plays part of Tracy Jordan's entourage on 30 Rock, is on dialysis three times a week for severe hypertension. He's on a five-year waiting list for a kidney transplant, but he has to lose 75 pounds before he can hae the operation. [E!]
• Taylor Swift had a Christmas-themed 20th birthday party and donated $250,000 to schools around the country as a gift to herself. "Something I wanted to do at the end of this amazing year and especially on my birthday was give back to something I really believe in, which is education," said Swift. "The schools that I went to and the amazing people I got to learn from really turned me into who I am, and I wanted to give back." [People]
• Snoop Dogg shot another guest appearance on One Life To Live. "As I said when I was here last time, I've been a fan of One Life to Live since I was a baby because my momma always had it on," said Snoop Dogg. "It's cool to come back and hang with Bo Buchanan and the people in Llanview and ‘rock out with them." [WSJ]
• Cate Blanchett was an hour and a half late to a performance of A Streetcar Named Desire in Brooklyn because it was rainy and icy and she was traveling from out of town. After the curtain calls she said, "Thank you all for hanging around. The weather conspired against us. There's black ice out there. Be careful getting home." [NYT]
• Coldplay is selling instruments they've used and other memorabilia on eBay in an "End of Decade Clearout Sale" to benefit the charity Kids Company. [UPI]
• Jersey Shore's Nicole Polizzi, a.k.a. "Snooki", says: "We are better than The Hills... It is all real." (Insert your own tanning joke here.) [Us]
• UNICO, the largest Italian-American group in the country, is pushing Pap John's Pizza, Nivea, LG Electronics and Burger King to pull their advertisements from Jersey Shore because it's a "discriminatory, insulting and Italian-bashing program." [TMZ]
• Maxwell is back after an eight-year hiatus. "Sometimes I just get sick of myself," he said. "That's kind of what happened in 2001. I didn't want to see another photo; I didn't want to hear me. I just sort of needed a coffee bean in the perfume shop of who I was, you know what I mean?" [CNN]
• In Esquire's "What I've Learned" column Sting says: "You don't have to be the greatest singer in the world. What you need to be is unique. Whenever you open your mouth, people should know: 'Oh, that's Van Morrison.' Or 'That's Bob Dylan.' Or 'That's Bono.' You want to get to that point where you have a unique vocal fingerprint. Then it's about refining that sound and making it more and more you." [Esquire]
• Zoe Saldana, who stars in James Cameron's Avatar, says, "He's been impacted by interesting women all his life, because you can tell he's in tune with his feminine side. I've learned this about men who write good roles for women - there's a very beautiful sentimentality to them. Their exteriors are sugarcoated with this manly presence, but deep on the inside, there's also this [fragility]." [WSJ]
• Former model Sienna Miller says of V magazine doing a plus-size issue, "I suppose that's something you'd have to say - I couldn't sit here and say, 'No, I'm not [into it] ... but I sincerely believe that that's more beautiful than someone who is poker-thin. I really do. I would love to have boobs to go with my hips, but I don't - that's just not the way the cookie crumbled." [New York Magazine]

[Los Angeles, December 4. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

It's interesting how he was homeless for a long time, how his catchphrase is, "daddy's leaving and he's taking the money," how, at 44, he still sorta feels like a latch-key kid afraid of losing it all. It's cool how now he actually has cash — a Bentley, a Rolex, a gorgeous house with a square toilet — after losing it after drugs and prison and so on. And he's thinking about having a baby: "The ultimate artifact of our love. In a onesie."

But some of these quotes!

The guy from Esquire, Scott Raab, says something about how he's glad to see RDJ and how far he's come. RDJ replies:

"This morning I was feeling this overwhelming sense of gratitude. I was having an argument with myself, and the thing that came into my head was, If two plus three is five, then five minus three is two - do you fucking get it?"

Um, what?

Then they talk about Iron Man 2, Sherlock Holmes and a possible Sherlock 2, plus a comedy, Due Date, from the guy who did The Hangover. Here's how RDJ explains his pacing:

"The whole pacing thing has come up in front of the review board - and I'm the one who said that if I don't take a break after Iron Man 2, there is something desperately wrong here. I'm not a guy who in order to be well I need to have one or another carrot in front of me the whole time. I can't keep going at this stride and be okay - but I can keep checking all the dials. This is a big, glorious impasse - but Mama needs a new pair of shoes, dude."

(Apparently "Mama," chair of the review board, is producer Susan Levin Downey, his wife. But without that information, it just sounds like there are imaginary people inside the man's head.)

Here's RDJ on his career:

"I hit my stride later than most folks. A couple years ago, it really was a big old hip-hip-hooray and let's get somethin' shakin' here. Then pfffffff - it reorganized at this higher level…"

Here: A restaurant analogy, followed by a sports analogy:

"I hand it to any and everyone who has made it past their late thirties and has any sense of contentment, because you know so much, and the anxiety can be so overwhelming - and managing the anxiety is a skill set that seems like a menu that changes every day. My insanity is thinking that somehow or another I was responsible - personally, directly responsible - for altering the course of things that have us sitting here on this deck. There's so many other factors in this - so many other people and past relationships, my kid and my folks, and the centerpiece of it all, Susan. It's like I know what happened, and I know that I got the ball and ran with it, and hip-hip-hip, and then like they're saying, 'Look - before you blow out a knee, we'd like to give you a bunch of endorsements,' and I go, 'Great.'

The truth of the matter is, it's always been like this. It hasn't gone up from down; it's just that it's finally got wide enough that I can be contained."

A surfing analogy followed by a car racing analogy:

"I'm not paranoid anymore. I'm not fearful. It's interesting to be surfing this tremendous crisis of capitalism - and I know there's a coral reef under me and I don't want to hang ten, but I do think that when you're in the pole position, that's when you try to beat your best personal time. So I really wanted to be aggressive about an artifact."

To sum up:

"My whole story - there's such immense satisfaction to see past that. I found my way out of the woods by a subtler and subtler trail of bread crumbs - now I'm just in the business of the business, and the business of my life, and the mind-blowing opportunities - and if nothing else, dude, I really love the way these ceilings look."

Robert Downey Jr.: The Second Greatest Actor in the World, Downey on Downey: 18 New Quotes from Robert Downey Jr. [Esquire]

• Donald Trump is calling for people to boycott Kanye West due to "Swift-gate," "so this kind of thing doesn't happen again." He says, "He couldn't care less about Beyonce. It was grandstanding to get attention." From one who'd know. [TMZ]

• Kanye West apologized again to Taylor Swift on his blog, writing: "I feel like Ben Stiller in "Meet the Parents" when he messed up everything and Robert De Niro asked him to leave... That was Taylor's moment and I had no right in any way to take it from her. I am truly sorry." He wrote another statement last night, but it was quickly deleted. [TMZ]
• Taylor Swift told reporters after the incident, "Well, I was standing on stage because I was really excited because I had just won the award. And then I was really excited because Kanye West was on stage. And then I wasn't so excited anymore after that." [Us]
• More celebrities are weighing in on Kanye. John Mayer Tweeted: "Big love to my girl @taylorswift13. A class act." Joel Madden writes: "WOW Taylor Swift's first VMA and she didn't even get to ENJOY it. Kanye You were just a bully on that one man." Katy Perry gets right to the point: "F**K U KANYE. IT'S LIKE U STEPPED 0N A KITTEN." [TMZ]
• Kanye may have messed with the wrong lady. The guy who played "Wolf" on American Gladiators wrote: "Just thought Kanye might want to know I hang with alot of the Country Artist and I will bump into him somewhere... HARD and several times!!! He is an ass and needs taken down, maybe Criss B can be there too. School is about to open and lessons about to be taught!" [TMZ]
• Kelly Clarkson wrote a blog post addressed to Kanye saying: "I've seen you do some pretty shitty things, but you just keep amazing me with your tactless, asshole ways. It's absolutely fascinating how much I don't like you. I like everyone. I even like my asshole ex that cheated on me over you… which is pretty odd since I don't even personally know you... The best part of this evening is that you weren't even up for THIS award and yet you still have a problem with the outcome. Is winning a moon man that much of a life goal?? You can have mine if it will shut you up. Is it that important, really??" [Rolling Stone]
• Even Joe Jackson bashed Kanye, saying, "I don't know what he was doing, he jumped up on stage and snatched that microphone out of that poor girl's hand. They should blackball him out of show business for that. He just leapt up there, that was bad." [TMZ]
• It seems Russell Brand is the only one who has any sympathy for Kanye. He says, "I know Kanye, and I know he's a nice bloke. We all make mistakes in life... We're all people, these things are a bit silly, no one died." [People]
• Telepictures, the production company behind Ellen DeGeneres' and Tyra Banks' shows, wants to develop a View-like show starring Kate Gosselin and Paula Deen. "They're looking around and casting for other women to be on the show with them," said a source. "But they want all the women to be moms." [E!]
• While co-hosting The View this morning, Kate Gosselin said of her divorce, "This is definitely, I'm not going to lie, difficult... For the sake of my children, I'm going to take the high road" and not discuss the matter further. [People]
• Kate Gosselin said at the Cleveland Women's show on Friday, "I've lost a lot of control in my life," adding, "At the beginning of all of this, you've heard me say before, I didn't want fans gawking, I didn't want people gawking, I just wanted to be myself, my family. I have learned, I appreciate your support, I need you, I love you, thank you." [Us]
• On the red carpet of the Toronto International Film Festival paparazzi told Colin Farrell's sister to move along so they could get a shot of him and he grabbed a photographer by the collar and shouted at him until he apologized. [Daily Mail]
• Ne-Yo has been in the studio with Rihanna, working on her next album. He says, "Expect an edgier, almost angrier Rihanna on this one... Rihanna says some things on this album that you've never heard her say before." [E!]
• "All kinds of things keep me grounded. My dogs and having to wake up and walk them every morning and having to walk them before bed at night," says Mischa Barton. "The routine of everything I do – going to work every day here and working on a television series and how much work that is." [People]
• Elton John and his partner David Furnish won't be able to adopt a 14-month-old HIV-positive boy from Ukraine because the country requires adoptive parents to be no older than 45 and married. Elton said, "He has stolen my heart. And he has stolen David's heart and it would be wonderful if we can have a home." [AP]
• Nick Hornby and Ben Folds wrote a song called "Levi Johnston's Blues," which includes the lyrics, "I like to do some shit, do some chillin' I guess/ You fuck with me and I'll kick your ass." [New York Magazine]
• Harrison Ford says, "The story for the new Indiana Jones is in the process of taking form...Steven Spielberg, George Lucas and myself are agreed on what the fifth adventure will concern, and George is actively at work. If the script is good, I'll be very happy to put the costume on again." [People]
• Hulk Hogan is suing his own lawyers because he claims he paid them more than $1 million to represent his son Nick after his 2007 car crash but the law firm never informed him that his insurance company offered to represent him for free. [TMZ]
• Terri Irwin is getting caught up in a legal battle with the distributor of Croc Chocs and Zoogle Jellies, candies that feature a photo of Steve Irwin and are sold at the Australia Zoo. [News.com.au]
• The ACLU says Richard Hatch is being held under "harsh" conditions in a Masssachusetts jail for giving an unauthorized interview while he was on house arrest, and is being kept in solitary confinement for 23 hours a day. [USA Today]
• Oprah Winfrey says she's willing to go to Cophenhagen next month to help convince the International Olympic Committee that they should pick Chicago for the 2016 Summer Olympics. Chicago is up against Tokyo, Madrid, and Rio de Janeiro. [Chicago Tribune]
• Oprah Winfrey says even though she threw her support behind Barack Obama during the campaign, "I have not said one thing about this political situation and don't intend to... Everybody knows that I was a big campaigner for Obama and I still am. I think he's doing a great job. I think that it's the toughest job in the world with the economy and health care and all of that." [AP]
• Seth Meyers says he'll be doing 'Weekend Update' alone on the upcoming season of SNL, despite reports that Kristen Wiig would become his co-anchor. "I'm so heartbroken that the Internet, for the first time, was wrong about something," Meyers said. "How are we ever going to trust the Internet again?" [CNN]
• Lil Wayne's first child with Lauren London was born last Wednesday, and singer Nivea claims that she's also pregnant with his child. He already has two children from previous relationships. [E!]
• Michael Bay says he doesn't approve a letter from the crew of Transformers calling Megan Fox stupid and ungracious after she compared Bay to Hitler. He wrote on his website, "I don't condone the crew letter to Megan... and I don't condone Megan's outlandish quotes. But her crazy quips are part of her crazy charm. The fact of the matter is I still love working with her, and I know we still get along. I even expect more crazy quotes from her on 'Transformers 3.'" [UPI]
• On the finale of America's Got Talent on Wednesday nigh,t Susan Boyle will wear a Suzanne Neville dress the designer says will "really wow" the crowd. She says, "The brief was to make Susan look super elegant and so we created a long, classic black gown for Susan to wear." [People]
• At the Toronto Film Festival David Duchovny said of his wife Tea Leoni and their two kids, "I had to leave them this morning to come here – that's tough," adding that though he and Tea separated last fall now at home, "Everything is great." [People]
• RHOA's Kandi Burrus says of her relationship with her fiance AJ, "We're on hiatus. He's a great guy and he's not the type to sit on his behind like a scrub, so it has nothing to do with that. Yes, he has a lot of children, and yes, I didn't know about them all at first but I got over it because as long as you handle your responsibility and spend time with your children it's not an issue for me. Another thing I want to set the record straight on is that AJ was married before. A lot of people make comments like, if he didn't marry his other children's mothers then why do you think he's going to marry you." [ONTD]
• Robert Downey, Jr. says of his relationship with Jamie Foxx's character in The Soloist, "In some ways the film feels like a love-story. A platonic love story, of course. But it's also about faith – about believing in that connection between people, and to me that means believing in ourselves. It's funny to say this about what I guess is a big Hollywood movie, but actually it feels like something more personal, something quite pure." [The Telegraph]
• Beth Ditto says she doesn't mind that many people know who she is, but have never heard her music. She explains: "I'm not someone who says, 'It's all about the music, dude.' As a woman I think the media really want to see you demonised for having a life outside your musical family. A woman has her nuclear family, and that's supposed to be all there is, and if she steps outside that role of wife, mother or daughter to become an independent personality, she's immediately criticised for neglecting her motherly duty. That's exactly how I feel about Gossip; like I should have that motherly duty to my band. If I were a man I don't think it would be a problem." [The Independent]

• Lady Gaga on those nasty hermaphrodite rumors:

"My little vagina is very offended." [News.com.au]

• Celebrities seen attending DJ AM's memorial — designed to resemble a 12-step meeting — include Lindsay Lohan, Robert Downey Jr., John Mayer, Nicole Richie, Samantha Ronson, Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart. [AP, People]
• Susan Boyle's album is topping Amazon's bestsellers list, even though it's not on sale until November. Pre-orders have the album out-selling Whitney Houston and the Twilight soundtrack. [Daily Mail]
• So you know how Chris Brown critiqued Oprah for doing a show on domestic violence, dedicated to "all the Rihannas of the world"? He called it "a slap in the face." And he said: "I did a lot of stuff for her, like going to Africa and performing for her school. She could've been more helpful, like, ‘OK, I'm going to help both of these people out.'" A source says: "He's done. Whatever goodwill he had, he's totally ruined it by saying that. What was he thinking? And who the hell goes up against Oprah? It just shows he doesn't think. No one is going to want him as the face of their brand." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Meanwhile: Rihanna has been seen being "touchy-feely" with "scenester" Travis London. [NY Daily News]
• Michael Jackson's burial last night gave Katherine Jackson closure, sources say. "Everyone's been telling her how strong she is, but even she said, ‘It's not always easy to be this strong,'" says Rev. Al Sharpton, a Jackson family friend. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Paris Jackson cried when she stepped into the mausoleum where her father was to be entombed; Katherine Jackson started to go in but turned back, overcome by grief. [AP]
• Lisa Marie Presley, Elizabeth Taylor, Chris Tucker, Macaulay Culkin and Mila Kunis attended Michael Jackson's burial. Gladys Knight sang. [People]
• Michael Jackson was not buried at Neverland — or in Gary, Indiana, because his family wanted a "secluded, dignified resting place fitting for a music legend." His mother, Katherine, wanted to be able to visit her son without fanfare or fans. [Mirror]
• An Australian newspaper mocked Russell Crowe for smoking and eating a big meal during a recent bike ride. Naturally Russell has challenged the paper's gossip columnist to a "duel by bicycle." Apparently Russell's spokesperson called the guy the next day and said: Get on your bike. Russell wants you to go riding with him. Are you ready to die?" [Breitbart]
• Lisa Ling says that when her sister Laura Ling was held captive in North Korea, Diane Sawyer reached out: "She made calls and took meetings on our behalf for which we will be forever grateful." [People]
• We've seen a lot of Jon Gosselin lately, but not a lot of his girlfriend. A source says of Hailey Glassman: "Hailey actually hates the fact that Jon is famous. She doesn't want to be photographed and doesn't like the attention." [Page Six]
• Zooey Deschanel is "scrambling to slim down" for her wedding; she's been taking ballet workouts back to back. Or maybe she just likes the workout? [Page Six]
• Joy Behar is silly. [Page Six]
• Newly released emails from Carrie Prejean show that she and the pageant officials were butting heads way before she spoke out on same-sex unions. In a March 19 email, Carrie wrote to Miss California co-director Keith Lewis: "I WILL NOT BE VERBALLY AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSED ANYMORE BY ANY OF YOU. I HAVE A COMPETITION TO PREPARE FOR. I WILL NO LONGER BE DEALING WITH ANYONE WHO IS GOING TO BRING ME DOWN AT THIS POINT. I WILL ONLY SURROUND MYSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME HAPPY. AND RIGHT NOW, THAT IS NONE OF YOU. I WILL SEE YOU ALL IN APRIL. PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT ME AT ALL FROM THIS POINT FORWARD." [Fox News]
• "Donald Trump is such a hands-on boss that he personally helps pick six of the 15 finalists in the Miss Universe pageant each year — because the preliminary judges often overlook the most beautiful contestants." [Page Six]
• Check out this "commercial" for "Fecalux," starring Roseanne. It makes you poop. [ONTD]
• All About Steve "is an oddly creepy, sour film, featuring a heroine so desperate and peculiar that audiences may be more likely to pity than root for her." [Rotten Tomatoes]
• Jake Brockman, a former keyboard player with Echo and the Bunnymen, was killed in a motorcycle crash Tuesday on the Isle of Man. [BBC News]
• Whatshername says Whatshisname has a "secret lover." [The Sun]
• "I hope this show is a huge hit and that people love it. Because I like playing this character more than any character I've ever played." — Courteney Cox on upcoming show Cougar Town. [LA Times]
• "The older I get, the younger the leading man gets." — Michelle Pfeiffer. [Telegraph]
• "I've always said I believe in good music and bad music. ...I like music. My next album, which I'm working on now — that's exclusive, no one knows that — is gonna be the album that really ...it's not gonna be a #1 album. That's where I'm at right now. I wanna make the most experimental album I ever made." — Jay-Z. [MTV News]
• "People often look for deep psychological and emotional reasons why people eat, and I'm sure for many people those exist. But other people, and I would include myself, are just fucking greedy bastards who like eating. It's nice – it's a nice feeling. Eating chocolate is nice, right? Chocolate's fucking great. So I don't think it was a horrible self-comforting thing, I think it was just lack of self-discipline. Most people want a load of chocolate, but they stop. They think, if I do that I'll get fat. Whereas I just thought, I don't care." — Little Britain's Matt Lucas, who has recently lost weight because his doctor had warned him he was at risk of becoming diabetic. [Guardian]
• "You can live a very normal life if you don't actually look for things. Someone said, 'Oh, I saw a picture of you on the Internet, that was a really pretty hat.' Not hat, I don't wear hats. 'That was a really great dress!' I was like, 'Oh, I just wore that the other day, how did you know?' 'Oh, well, on blank-blank-blank-dot-com.' I wouldn't know. I don't know whose movie made money — I haven't seen a movie. I don't know who's famous and who's not, I don't know any young people that are coming up. I'll see somebody, and I'll say, 'That girl's really pretty.' And someone may say, 'Oh, of course, she's on "The Hills" or something.' Is that a show? I've got strong opinions, and I can get short. But I'm just not that high-maintenance. So the whole world knows I had miscarriages. And yes, I've done in vitro however many times — three times. Yes, I've said that David and I go to therapy. Yes. Nothing's too precious for me. For some reason, I don't care. I wish I could be a little bit more, like, 'You're trying to dig something out of me,' and me being like, 'I'm not going to talk about that.' What do you want to talk about? I don't care." — Courteney Cox. [LA Times]
• "I don't enjoy being looked at. But that's part of being successful, doing magazine covers. It's very masochistic – the one thing you're so afraid of you become addicted to. I'm addicted to being uncomfortable." — Megan Fox. [NY Daily News via Wonderland Magazine]

[London, August 22. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Is Brad Pitt done with showbiz? It almost seems like he's dropping hints:

"I think acting is a younger man's game," he says. "There are fewer interesting parts for older people and we all get older. But I feel like I've done it. I've kind of had my time and that's quite freeing. There are still acting dreams left but I'll do them first and then we'll talk about them." There's always architecture! [Daily Express]

• Jennifer Aniston embraces the lonely! "If I'm the emblem for 'this is what it looks like to be the lonely girl getting on with her life,' so be it." Jen tells Elle. "I can make fun of myself," she says. "And I'll bring it up as long as the world is bringing it up." [NY Post]
• Friends, today is the day: Some sites are participating in A Day Without Megan Fox. But over at E!, they're calling it Megan Fox Awareness Day, since she "drops wild nonsense in interviews, walks around wet, totally bends over in big dumb movies about robots, and then makes ballsy acting choices." [E!]
• Madonna did not, repeat, did not write a song dedicated to Guy Ritchie called "Eternal Love." Gossipeuse Liz Smith calls it a "hilarious rumor." [Variety]
• Page Six claims that the "gay spin" on Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson — as played by Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law in Guy Ritchie's flick, out on Christmas Day, could "backfire." Former Post movie critic Michael Medved says: "Who is going to want to see Downey Jr. and Law make out? I don't think it would be appealing to women." Sir, you are wrong. [Page Six]
• Oscar-winning screenwriter Dustin Lance Black is suing Starzlife.com for posting explicit photographs of him having sex with a guy named Jeff Delancy. Invasion of privacy, copyright infringement, etc. [ONTD]
• Aw, sweet: NYPD cops are worried about Robert Pattinson: "We have celebrities a lot bigger than this guy who can come and go in perfect safety because we know how to take the right precautions. We have presidents and kings come and go. This poor kid can't get in or out of a car without things getting dangerous." [MSNBC]
• E! landed an "exclusive" interview with Kate Major, aka "Kate 2.0" and in this preview she says vague things like "Do I regret anything? Not really." And: "It is a huge relief to finally talk." Uh, you were talking the whole time. And seriously, how did the paparazzi know you went to dinner with the dude? Who has photographer's phone numbers: Jerk Gosselin or you, a Star magazine reporter? And isn't it funny how that shot of you guys going out to dinner made the cover of Star? [E!]
• By the by, check out this Kate Gosselin-esque wig. The prediction is that you'll be seeing a lot of them come Halloween. [LA Times]
• Rihanna had ice cream with the record exec responsible for putting Chris Brown's song in a Wrigley's commercial. Hmm. [Page Six]
• An animated music video directed by the late Heath Ledger premieres online today; it's for Modest Mouse's song "King Rat" and can be seen on MySpace. [Newser, NME]
• Michael Douglas's son Cameron: Busted for meth. [TMZ]
• Dina Lohan and Michael Lohan: Spotted acting friendly at a charity event. [Page Six]
• Why does Michael Jackson's dermatologist Dr. Arnold Klein claim to have "unique interests" in the custody of MJ's kids? Is he indeed the bio-dad? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Kathy Hilton, who met Michael Jackson when they were teens, says: "I adore Mrs. Jackson. Katherine is the rock." Of MJ, Kathy says: "People think that they knew him and they didn't. His generosity, sense of humor, the mischievous giggle, the laugh." [People]
• It's confirmed that Kara DioGuardi will return to American Idol, and Fox execs are singing her praises. Mike Darnell, president of alternative programming, says she has a "spitfire personality and sharp musical sensibility" and gave the show "new energy"; executive producer Simon Fuller says, "She is a breath of fresh air and her passion for music and her understanding of talent is invaluable." What does all this mean for Paula Abdul? [People]
• Someone overheard Mischa Barton talking about having a stalker. [Page Six]
• Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler are planning to remarry, one year after finalizing their divorce. "We would like to renew our vows and have another wedding," Shanna says. "It's not so much about the wedding but about having a celebration of each other and getting through all the crazy things we've been through." And: "When you almost lose a loved one, it makes you appreciate things you took for granted." [ONTD]
• There's a request for a restraining order against Daniel Baldwin — issued by a woman in Malibu. She fired her nanny, who is Baldiwn's niece, and Baldwin called the house and "left a hostile message." [Radar Online]
• 24's Mary Lynn Rajskub married personal trainer Matthew Rolph in Las Vegas over the weekend, in a casino with Elvis playing. But! "Our wedding was beautiful, spontaneous and intimate," she says. [People]
• Dearest Hugh Jackman, of course we will go see you play P.T. Barnum in The Greatest Showman on Earth, a musical flick put together by the peeps who did your Academy Awards extravaganza. Especially since Mika is in talks to do the music and lyrics. [Variety]
• Griffin O'Neal is spilling all kinds of shit about his dad, Ryan O'Neal. For instance: His father attempted to shoot him; Ryan was unfaithful to Farrah Fawcett; Ryan gave Redmond cash for drugs. [CNN]
• Hulk smash jitterbug! Lou Ferrigno is headed to Dancing With The Stars. [Life & Style]
• Click for an excellent snap of Jack Nicholson getting down on the dancefloor in the South of France. [NY Post]
• Jenna Elfman has a sitcom on CBS this fall, but she did go through a dark period where shows got canceled and development deals failed for various reasons. "It was quite a challenging four or five years in my life." [LA Times]
• Alyssa Milano has an ABC comedy pilot, Romantically Challenged, which looks like it might get picked up. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Chelsea Handler is the worst boss ever in a video at the link. [E!]
• Laguna Beach alum Jason Wahler got drunk and threw his shoes at people. [TMZ]
• Kevin Costner will return to Alberta, Canada to lend support to those injured by a stage collapse at a country music festival where he was set to perform. [Mirror]
• "Julianna Margulies slapped Chris Noth three times for the scene in the pilot in which The Good Wife goes bad. In a good way.The first time, she didn't hit him hard enough. The second time, the camera was off. The third time, she left a red welt on his face. 'Chris Noth is so great,' she said at press tour on Monday. 'He's like, 'Oh, please, I've been hit so many times.'" [LA Times]
• Will The Sopranos make it to the big screen, as a movie? [Gatecrasher]
• Fifty years ago, Jayne Mansfield cut a ribbon at the Chiswick Flyover, a stretch of elevated road in west London. To celebrate the 50th anniversary of the flyover, Mansfield's daughter Mariska Hargitay has been invited to an event. [Telegraph]
• "I haven't done it yet, but I'm excited... I'm lucky – yeah, I know." — Gerard Butler, on kissing Jennifer Aniston in scenes for The Bounty. [People]

• Samantha Ronson reportedly returned home at 5am last night to find that Lindsay Lohan had been waiting on her stoop for hours. The paparazzi caught Linds crying, demanding to know where Sam had been, and shrieking, "I'm your girlfriend!"

• Lindsay had apparently been waiting with an anonymous friend who Sam kicks out saying, "She's on my property, I don't know her, I want her out." The girl leaves and Lindsay follows Sam into the house, slamming the door behind her. Video here: [TMZ]
• Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush have split, reports US. "Nobody cheated," said a source. Didn't they just go to Africa together? [US]
• A car Katie Holmes was sitting in on the Australian set of Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark started sparking and burst into flames seconds after she got out due to a problem with the car battery. "Katie was very shaken by the ordeal," said a source. "She took the rest of the day off while special effects staff looked over the faults. Katie has filmed scenes since but it has made her think about her safety on set. She will be shooting the same scene at a later date." [The Daily Mail]
• "A source very, very, very, very close to Jon Gosselin" revealed exclusively to RadarOnline.com that Jon is secretly still dating both Hailey Glassman AND Kate Major." Two things: is the source "very, very, very, very close to Jon" Jon Gosselin? Also, if this is how Jon keeps a secret what's his version of a public announcement? Is he going to go door to door introducing us to his new girlfriend? [Radar Online]
• A reporter Kate Major used to intern for at Chicago Now says Kate told her she and Jon Gosselin are together but he "can't talk" right now due to his "situation," meaning his pending divorce and contract with TLC. [Chicago Now]
• Tony Romo has instructed security to keep Jessica Simpson out of his Dallas home. A sign at the entrance to his gated community reads "RED ALERT!!! TONY ROMO HAS MADE SOME CHANGES TO HIS LIST OF PEOPLE ALLOWED IN....JESSICA IS NO LONGER ON THE LIST AND NOT APPROVED FOR ACCESS." [Us]
• Here's some good news: Rihanna's rep says that though she and Chris Brown stayed at the same hotel over the weekend, it was just a coincidence and they're not back together. Maybe she can explain that concept to Robert Pattinson/Kristen Stewart fans too. [MSNBC]
• A parole hearing took place today for the man who killed Kelsey Grammer's sister in 1975 in an attempted robbery. Grammer tried to attend the hearing but his flight was delayed, so he wrote a letter saying his sister was "smart and good and decent," and "I can never escape the horror of what happened" to her ... "Please do not release this man from prison." The parole board decided Karen Grammer's murderer will stay in prison for at least another five years. [TMZ]
• Kelly Clarkson's new single "Already Gone" has the same backing track as Beyonce's "Halo" and Clarkson says it's all the her music producer's fault. "No one's gonna be sittin' at home, thinking 'Man, Ryan Tedder gave Beyonce and Kelly the same track to write to ... no, they're just gonna be saying I ripped someone off," she said. [TMZ]
• The I.R.S has filed a $7,373 tax lien against P.Diddy's Atlanta restaurant Justin's Restaurant. Diddy says it's all a big mistake: the I.R.S. was sending notices to his identically named restaurant in New York that closed a few years ago. [The Detroit News]
• Tito Jackson has confirmed that Michael Jackson's body is at Forest Lawn cemetery. [Entertainment Tonight]
• Debbie Rowe just showed up at the Beverly Hills office of her former boss Dr. Arnold Klein, supposedly to visit another doctor who works in Klein's office. [TMZ]
• Fans at a Jonas Brothers concert this weekend concluded that Joe Jonas broke up with Camilla Belle after he changed the lyrics to a few songs and appeared to cry during the song "Camp Rock." [The Mirror, Perez Hilton]
• Now Camilla Belle's rep has confirmed the breakup explaining, "There is no third party involved and they care deeply about each other and will remain friends." [People]
• BREAKING: Victoria Beckham went to dinner with her hair in a bun. [The Telegraph]
• Sacha Baron Cohen has been threatened by the group of Palestinian terrorists featured in Bruno. A representative for The Martyrs Brigades released a statement saying they are "very upset" and will "respond in a suitable way." [The Telegraph]
• Lost creators Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof dropped some spoilers about season six at Comic Con, which you can read about here: [N.Y. Magazine]
• We're learning more fascinating details about Jennifer Lopez's 40th birthday party on Saturday night. Liza Minnelli, Gayle King, and various Lopez family members were in attendance, and a witness says J.Lo and Marc Anthony "were affectionate with each other and obviously loving the night. Marc's arm was around Jennifer a lot, they'd give each other pecks on the face every now and then. She was clearly pleased with how the night went." [People]
• Entertainment Tonight just figured out that Mischa Barton has been released from psychiatric evaluation (even though Us reported it last week.) [Entertainment Tonight]
• Joel Madden says he's working on a memoir about his experience with kids, relationship, and moving to L.A., "but I don't want to put a book out there if it's not actually meaningful. I'm not going to go there unless I can deliver." [People]
• Robert Downey Jr. will star opposite Zach Galifianakis in Due Date, a comedy about an expectant father (Downey) trying to get to the birth of his first child. Director Todd Philips of The Hangover describes it as "a buddy comedy without the buddies." [Yahoo]
• Robert Downey Jr. said he thinks he and Jude Law have a special chemistry in Sherlock Homes, joking, "It's called circumstantial homosexuality." He added that even in real life, "We just became really close really quickly, because we just rolled up our sleeves and started working from jump." [People]
• Tobey Maguire wrote a letter to Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senator Tom Harkin saying, "As a parent, I am contacting you because I am deeply concerned that unhealthy school lunches are contributing to our nation's childhood obesity epidemic. My wife and I just had our second child, so this issue is tremendously important to us…Let me ask you please to ensure the Child Nutrition Act provides more fruits, vegetables, and healthy vegetarian foods. Young people deserve healthful food, and I can't imagine a better investment in the future of our country." [Politico]
• "I haven't chosen any other action films since Kill Bill because I felt that everything else just sort of paled by comparison. I don't like to get lulled into some hole that I can't get out of." — Uma Thurman [The Daily Express]
• Megan Fox says she's too afraid to watch horror movies, but she enjoyed starring in Jennifer's Body because, "For me to be able to play something that I would normally be frightened by was really intriguing and interesting... It's cool to see myself being able to scare people because I'm just a little girl." [People]

[LA, May 30. Image via Getty.]

• Interviewer Daphne Barak is filming a documentary about Amy Winehouse in St. Lucia that will be released later this year. Barak promises a "truthful and revealing look at her complicated life." [People]

• People harassed Oksana Grigorieva's mother, who lives outside Moscow and doesn't speak English, to ask if the rumors that she is pregnant with Mel Gibson's baby are true. She claims her daughter didn't break up Gibson's marriage and as for the baby, "I can't say anything," she said, "Wait for the official statement from them." [People]
• While Rachel Bilson was spending time with Hayden Christensen in Canada, someone broke into her L.A. home and stole jewelry and designer clothes, including her vintage shoe collection and her grandmother's jewelry. "She's shaken," a friend says. "She feels violated." [People]
• More scary news: A man broke into three homes in Washington State, took off his clothes, and said he was looking for Jennifer Aniston. In one case he woke up a 15-year-old girl in her bedroom while he was drunk, and she had to force him out of the room. [UPI]
• Dash, the new South Florida boutique owned by the Kardashians has been vandalized before tomorrow's grand opening. Police are trying to determine if it was a random crime or if someone was targeting Kim and company. [TMZ]
• Britney Spears' former bodyguard is suing her because he claims she "negligently operated her home and business thereby causing injuries to [him]." [TMZ]
• Lawyers for Britney Spears' conservatorship have filed legal paper saying they are owed $2.5 million because they have revitalized her career and stabilized her personal life. [TMZ]
• T.I.'s jail sentence has been reduced to 60 days because he already served 305 days at home. So if one say, blogged from home, could that help shave time off a future prison sentence? [Perez Hilton]
• Rumors going around the internet that Patrick Swayze died are not true. "This is to confirm that Patrick Swayze did not pass away this morning contrary to severely reckless reports stemming from a radio station in Jacksonville, Florida," says his rep. "Patrick Swayze is alive, well and is enjoying his life and he continues to respond to treatment." [People]
• Nadya Suleman will be in the hospital for the next day or two after undergoing a second surgery in four days. She went in for an operation on Thursday to remove benign muscular tumors on her uterine wall, but excessive bleeding forced doctors to stop the surgery. Her second surgery to complete the procedure went well and she is resting in the hospital. [Radar]
• Brad Pitt and his brother Doug Pitt have donated £392,155 to Drury University in their hometown of Springfield, Missouri. The money will help the school's sports arena earn a Gold Leadership in Environmental Energy and Design (LEED) certification, making it the most eco-friendly arena in the U.S. [The Daily Express]
• Angelina Jolie watched the trial of a Congolese warlord accused of using child soldiers in the International Criminal Court today. She praised the former child soldiers who came to testify against him, saying, "After watching the proceedings from the viewing booth, I stood up and found Thomas Lubanga Dyilo looking at me. I imagined how difficult it must be for all the brave young children who have come to testify against him." [AP]
• Robert Pattinson is going to star in all sorts of serious indie movies, to show the world that he's much more than just that dude from Twilight. He shares some deep thoughts about his upcoming roles at the link, but assures fans he'll have a lot of screen time in New Moon, even though in the book his character doesn't. [Variety]
• Robert Pattinson is committed to doing the fourth Twilight movie, Breaking Dawn. "I went into it thinking it was a trilogy," said Pattinson, "I'm looking forward to doing a saga." [E!]
• The following shows are cancelled: The Unit, My Name Is Earl, and Medium. But, the following shows were saved at the last minute: Chuck, Dollhouse, and The New Adventures of Old Christine (which will switch to ABC if CBS cancels it). [The Live Feed]
• Also cancelled (before it even ran) the Gossip Girl spinoff Lily and Privileged, which will be replaced by the new Melrose Place. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Rashida Jones and Andy Samburg star in the fake trailer MTV Movie Awards "Best Villain" nominee Gentle Dismemberment, which is frankly not the best of Samburg's promos for the awards show. [Funny Or Die]
• Ellen DeGeneres was the Tulane University commencement speaker, which is apparently one of the finest graduation speeches ever given. You can watch it at the link and decide for yourself. [Perez Hilton]
• Everyone thought Pink and Carey Hart were renewing their vows at her house because she was Tweeting about a "white wedding" but as the ceremony started she wrote: "My best friend is getting married. Hahaha. Not me." [The Daily Express]
• Here's the new trailer for Sherlock Holmes starring Robert Downey Jr.. It looks awesome, but purists will probably point out that Irene Adler never handcuffed a naked Sherlock Holmes to a bed. [People]
• Hindu leader Rajan Zed was hating on Gwyneth Paltrow's, saying she shouldn't use lines like "nourish the inner aspect" on her Goop newsletter. "The actress needs to grow-up and stop writing about mundane topics like ‘Boots by Gucci', ‘Banana Pancakes', ‘The Hungry Cat' and ‘Tweezerman' - in which she talks about taming the unruly eyebrows of men." said Zed. "Instead, she needs to talk about topics like realizing self, immortality, deeper reality, eternity, soul, inner realms of the mind and spirit, pure consciousness. That's if she's truly serious about inner aspect." [Pop Crunch]
• Kylie Minogue has been dating what The Daily Mail calls her "Spanish toyboy" for seven months. She says, "It is all going well and I know I am very happy right now. I want the happy ever after ending. I've definitely changed. I'm just letting things happen and seeing what does. In so many ways I am behind the mark for my age. I'm not married and I don't have children but my attitude now is that things may happen or they may not but just be happy." [The Daily Mail]
• As part of a weekend of birthday surprises for Tori Spelling, husband Dean McDermott got a tattoo featuring "a large Koi fish symbolizing Tori, a tiger representing Dean, and three baby Koi fish for Liam, Stella, and (McDermott's son from a previous marriage) Jack." The tattoo also featured peonies and the word "forever." [People]
• Here's an update on everything Jon and Kate Gosselin plus their eight kids have done since Saturday, including fascinating tidbits like Kate running errands with her daughter Alexis. [People]
• While he wasn't allowed to do a cameo in Star Trek, William Shatner is excited about his new YouTube cartoon The Gavones. "It's the mafia in Hollywood trying to make a hit – and half the family think it's murder and the other half thinks it's a movie," says Shatner. "It's a comedic Soprano family." [People]
• Producers from Bravo are looking for cast members for The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. [TMZ]
• "I am nobody's white bitch, gold digger or fame chaser!" - Russell Simmons' new girlfriend. [The Awl]
• Pedro Almodovar explained his directing style, saying, "I play all the roles on set," for example, "In a film I made a long time ago ... I even performed cunnilingus on an actress to show the actor how to do it." [Yahoo]

• Chris Brown has reportedly moved on. His new ladyfriend is actually an ex. She attends University of Mary Washington and they met in Virginia, which is where he's from. His reps deny everything. [Gatecrasher]

• Are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie trying to adopt another kid, this time from the Philippines? [Daily Mail]
• Is Pamela Anderson getting ready to wed —- for the fourth time? The dude would be her current boyfriend, Jamie Padgett. [The Sun]
• "Someone in the Kardashian family will soon have plastic surgery," says Kim Kardashian. "I can't tell you who, but someone in my family will look totally different and viewers will see it all on the show very soon." Uh, is it Bruce Jenner? [People]
• Suri Cruise is starting her "five day a week Scientology training," which really just means she'll be attending that school started by Will Smith that uses "study technology." But the school does require a "low-carb, low-sodium and low-sugar organic diet." Suri is about to turn 3. [Daily Mail]
• Although Lindsay Lohan is "heartbroken," Lindsay and Sam are still talking,says a friend. Also: Lindsay "barely sleeps, which explains a lot of her behavior. She's exhausted. She can't even sit down for a minute without pacing around the room. It's really sad." [People]
• Lindsay was seen carrying something called Neuro Bliss, which is supposed to "relax neural tissues, to enhance brain activity, focus and provide a sense of well-being." [TMZ]
• This report is titled, "Lindsay Parties The Pain Away." [OK!]
• Madonna is still trying to adopt Mercy James, the child in Malawi. Her lawyer has filed an appeal, and she says "I want to provide Mercy with a home, a loving family environment and the best education and healthcare possible." [Reuters]
• Mercy James is "in hiding" so that her biological father doesn't come and take her; apparently he has only materialized since Madonna showed interest in the child. [Daily Mail]
• News you cannot use: Madonna's son David is a fan of Australian football. [News.com.au]
• Is it mean that Joel Madden posted a picture of a young Nicole Richie on his Twitter and wrote, "This is why I love her folks. Is it not Ron Perlman circa Beauty and the Beast??" [People]
• Hermione's coming to the states: Emma Watson will be attending Brown University. [Daily Express]
• Even though Paris Hilton is with Doug Reinhardt now, she totally talks to her ex, Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos, at least three times a week. They probably just discuss the economy and ? [Daily Mail]
• Brace yourself for a Nadya Suleman reality show, which is super close to happening. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Some lady from a rehab center says she had a "secret fling" with Blake Fielder-Civil and is knocked up with his kid. Is it true? Will Amy Winehouse flip her wig? [Daily Mail]
• Amy Winehouse has been working with the Gorillaz instead of working on her own album. [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse and Duffy are no match for Dusty Springfield, says a friend of Dusty Springfield's. [Telegraph]
• Did Whitney Port leave her job at Diane von Furstenberg, after being beaten out for a promotion by Olivia Palermo? [Page Six]
• Josh Hartnett was seen partying in Miami, so he's clearly recovered from that gastrointestinal problem which sent him to the hospital earlier this month. [UPI]
• Did Jimmy Fallon steal an album cover from the wall of a New York City restaurant and show it off on the Tonight Show? He's claiming it was a prop, but the restaurant has posted a sign, saying: ""Wanted! Jimmy Fallon. A free meal and drink to anyone who can retrieve our record cover back to us safely." [UPI]
• Tim Roth says he was a victim of child abuse. "It happened during my childhood up to my early teens and although I'm not going to say who it was, he's long gone now — and I hasten to add it wasn't my father or mother. Things happen to you in your life, but you don't want to consider yourself to be a victim — you want to be a survivor and the first thing that helps you do that and helps you get through it is speaking and finding your voice." [Daily Mail]
• WTF: New York Post film critic Lou Lumenick wrote: "You know a movie's got problems when the most memorable thing about it is Sienna Miller's moustache. That growth above her lip is clearly visible in two scenes, once in profile." How is that relevant to the movie (The Mysteries Of Pittsburgh) or her acting? [The Sun]
• Sienna Miller has dropped from number 45 to 202 on FHM's Sexiest Women list. [The Sun]
• Trouble in Kate Beckinsale's marriage? [Daily Mail]
• Jared Leto invited children rescued from a life of prostitution to sit in on a recording session with his band, 30 Seconds To Mars. [Monica Seles is opening up about her addiction to food in a new book, Getting A Grip. [Daily Mail]
• Long-haired heartthrob Fabio wrecked a Ferrari on Mulholland Drive over the weekend. Did you know dude is 50? [UPI]
• The Hannah Montana movie took the top spot at the weekend box office with a fairly respectable $17.2 million. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Why the fact that Sylvester Stallone has Russian heritage is breaking news is a mystery. [Daily Mail]
• Sting and his wife have invited a group of friends on an all-expenses-paid luxury trip to Tuscany to discuss "social consciousness." [Daily Mail]
• Here's a profile of Carla Gugino in which she says: "I was so serious when I was young. My mom would come home and say, 'Carla, stop studying." Or, "The dishes are clean enough.' I felt that to be successful I couldn't drink, I couldn't smoke. But acting taught me to have a life that could feed my work.… I had a happy childhood, but I think it also pushed me to try to create my own sense of stability and made me very intense for my age." [NY Times]
• Singer Cassie shaved part of her head, and it looks cute. [NY Daily News]
• Two of Leona Lewis's cousins have been arrested for allegedly beating up and trying to rob some drug dealers. [The Sun]
• Ooh, a retrospective of Ray Liotta's career. He was so hot in Something Wild. [CNN]
• Bjorn Ulvaeus of ABBA says there should not be a sequel to Mamma Mia: "It wouldn't work." [UPI]
• In this piece, Sir Roger Moore talks about all of his ailments — kidney stones, shingles, low heart rate, etc — as well as his hypochondria. [Daily Mail]
• William Hurt will join the cast of the Robin Hood flick which stars Russell Crowe in the lead and Cate Blanchett as Maid Marian. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Shenae Grimes of 90210 was asked who she'd like to come to the set: "Luke Perry, obviously. I mean, come on! We've all been dying for it. I still am but I may have to give up the dream." [Mirror]
• This sentence means nothing to me, but perhaps others will care: The Veronicas are dating brothers from rock bad Carney. [News.com.au]
• Blind item! "Which troubled starlet is getting over a bad breakup with a member of the same sex? We just hope the latter's current boyfriend doesn't get wind of the girl-on-girl shenanigans!" [Gatecrasher]
• "Trying to do an aggressive sex scene is quite difficult. Especially in a public place with a crowd of screaming extras with their little camera phones going click-click, talking pictures of your pasty white ass. I've had my fair share of bedroom antics in films, but they were a little more private." — Jason Statham. [Page Six]
• "I have made several mistakes and one of them was being overprotective of the girls, which has led to an impression that the school is isolating them from society. The majority of girls are thriving, really fulfilling the dream and vision I had. They really have exceeded any expectations I had for them. In spite of everything that's happened, what keeps me inspired and hopeful is the heart of every girl, because they are wonderful, they are magnificent." — Oprah, who has been defending the record of her school in South Africa. [USA Today]
• "He was in an Easter suit, with the Easter basket and the eggs and everything. Once you've seen Billy in a bunny suit, it's pretty hard to think of Easter in any other way." — Christie Brinkley on ex-husband Billy Joel. [Daily Express]
• "I wish I'd never worn an American flag motif swimsuit to the MTV Awards when I was in the Spice Girls. This was me hating myself and hiding under mountains of make-up." — Geri Halliwell. [Independent]
• "I don't think you ever retire from films - films retire you. Sometimes, if you're unfortunate, after your first film. What happens is you say 'I'm going to retire'. And then someone turns up and gives you this script. So you're not retiring. I don't have my next movie and I'm not looking for one. But someone will give me a script possibly and I'll work again. If someone doesn't give me a script that I want to do, I'll retire. But there won't be a great announcement or fanfare of trumpets. I just won't do anything. I'll stay at home and do what I always do, which is cooking, gardening and writing." — Michael Caine. [Daily Express]
• "I don't care. If I don't get food in my mouth, I'm still happy. If my pants are round my ankles, as long as I don't get arrested for indecent exposure, I'm happy. I'm worried about keeping my hair, not how it's combed. […] I don't know that [my kids have] ever seen Back To The Future all the way through. Just as Parkinson's isn't a big topic of conversation in my house, neither is my career. I go down to my office every day and they say, 'Dad's going to work.'" — Michael J. Fox. [Guardian]
• "Only 1,350 rockers were made, and we sold approximately 70 percent in the first two weeks. The collector's edition photo album has sold more the first week than any book we've sold at Cracker Barrel." — Cracker Barrel's VP of marketing on Dolly Parton's merch, which is flying out of stores. [Reuters]
• "I wish we could have shared a bed/but her life was not her own/That's what happens when you date a girl/from Driftwood Nursing Home." — from Bob Saget's comedy act. [NY Times]
• "What I love about Donna is she's never jaded. Donna can kind of go through anything and she still has that girlish quality about her. I think that's something she'd have at any age. That's Donna to me." — Tori Spelling on her return to 90210. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "It's not like we're not talking, we just haven't talked. I love my mother. I've always loved her [and] no doubt she loves me. There's no feud. We simply never meshed." — Tori Spelling. [People]
• "Chris [Martin] is a huge [Sherlock] Holmes nut. He said to me before filming, 'You've got to be gaunt. You've got to be as skinny as you possibly can to play Holmes.' So every time I'm reaching for a muffin I think about Chris and skip the snack. That's been tough." — Robert Downey Jr. [The Sun]
• "I know what you're saying, but it's not a character like in a book or a movie. He's not a bus driver. He doesn't drive a forklift. He's not a serial killer. It's me who's singing that, plain and simple. We shouldn't confuse singers and performers with actors. Actors will say, 'My character this, and my character that.' Like beating a dead horse. Who cares about the character? Just get up and act. You don't have to explain it to me." — Bob Dylan, in a rare interview. [Telegraph]
• "I knew I wanted to marry her pretty soon [after I met her]. It took a while for me to admit it, because it would be crazy to be like, 'I want to marry you' the first day I met her. But I could have!" — Chris Pratt on fiancée Anna Faris. [People]
• "I found I was really sleepy. I almost fell asleep during a Chris Rock show - live, front and center. I thought, 'I need to have a steak.' You have to do what works for you. Some people need meat." — Rachel McAdams, on why she's not a vegetarian anymore. [NY Daily News]
• "There was a television series that never got made by that woman who wrote that big role for Helen Mirren, Lynda La Plante. They wanted me to play – this is how they think of me – a woman who had been beaten up and degraded. I refused. I'm sure the British would not like to see me in a role like that. No way. [As for the film version of my life,] I hated the script. I thought it would be based on the book and not just made up. I had a long talk with my friend, the actress Carrie Fisher, about it and she said: 'You might think you were degraded enough but believe me, for Hollywood not nearly enough. There has to be prostitution, there has to be murder.' So I took it back." — Marianne Faithfull. [Daily Express]

[Brentwood, April 5. Image via Flynet.]

• Madonna is making moves in Malawi: This picture at the link shows 4-year-old Mercy, the girl she's trying to adopt, holding hands with possible new sister Lourdes. [Daily Mail]

• Oprah faces yet another scandal involving her Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa; seven students allegedly engaged in "inappropriate behaviors." [Socialite Life]
• This report says that even though girls at Oprah's school were expelled, this is not a sex scandal. [MSNBC]
• Lisa Ling's sister Laura and another journalist being detained in North Korea are headed for a trial on the basis of "already confirmed suspicions," which doesn't sound good. [People]
• Bridget Moynahan is furious with Gisele Bundchen for telling Vanity Fair she loved Tom Brady's son like he was her own. Someone close to Bridget says: "If Gisele loved Bridget's child like he was '100 percent her own,' then she would not talk about him in the press. Discretion and respect are not either of Gisele or Tom's virtues, as was evidenced even when the child was still unborn and they publicly flaunted their relationship without any discretion whatsoever." [Page Six]
• Kate Moss is supposedly in New York to open the new TopShop here and OMGCLOTHESOMG. [Daily Mail]
• Shocker: Britney's Candie's ads have been Photoshopped! Won't someone think of the children? [Daily Mail]
• Josh Holly, the dude who hacked into Miley Cyrus' email and had his apartment raided by the FBI back in October is still being investigated. Special Agent Scott Augenbaum says: "We're still working on it. He hasn't been arrested." Guess what Holly has been doing in the meantime? Hacking celeb MySpace accounts and spamming their "friends." [E!]
• Speaking of Miley, she looks ever so uncomfortable on the May cover of Glamour. [Just Jared]
• Stephen Colbert is warning NASA to name a new wing of the international space station after him or he will "seize power as space's evil tyrant overlord." [CNN]
• Holy crap yay! Taye Diggs and Idina Menzel are expecting their first baby! [Socialite Life]
• Singer Natalie Cole is in desperate need of a kidney; she went on Larry King last night to talk about it and dozens of emails came in, with offers from people saying they would get tested to see whether their kidney could be donated. Sometimes TV redeems itself. [CNN]
• In this photograph, Robert Pattinson looks like a folkie singer with long hair and a guitar. Scarier than a vampire? [E!]
• Kelly Rowland has left Columbia Records, the label she's been with since her Destiny's Child days. Good luck out there! [E!]
• American Idol's emo musical theater rocker, Adam Lambert, has a fan in Neil Patrick Harris: The How I Met Your Mother Star was in the audience last night and says, "No male in this competition has sung so well. He really hit those notes." [E!]
• A TV station in Panama City, FL decided that Osbournes: Reloaded was "not keeping with community standards" and declined to air the show after American Idol. [E!]
• A sneak peek at the new Sherlock Holmes flick: "Leave it to Robert Downey Jr. to turn Sherlock Holmes into a wisecracking action hero who ends up handcuffed naked to a bed." [Yahoo News via AP]
• Rachel McAdams says filming the Sherlock Holmes movie was "cold and dirty." "The 1800s were kind of dirty, I realized. I didn't think about that before." [Mirror]
• Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani will never collaborate musically: "We come from such band mentalities that it's something we've really done well to avoid," Gavin says. [Mirror]
• Dreamworks animated flicks like Kung Fu Panda and Monsters Vs. Aliens will be shown on FX, thanks to a deal between the channel and the distributor. [USA Today]
• Star Jones says her mind and body are not in sync: I'm still 300 lbs. in my head some days," she told Oprah. [People]
• Wanda Sykes and the Fox network are finalizing a deal for a Saturday late-night show. Bring it! [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• Some Slumdog Millionaire DVDs were released without the "making of" feature and "deleted scenes," which were advertised on the box. Buyers are bitching to Amazon about it; Amazon is blaming Fox. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Pedro, a film about the HIV positive Real World castmember Pedro Zamora, premieres tonight on MTV and LOGO. [LA Times]
• The Seattle home where Jimi Hendrix grew up has been destroyed; preservation efforts failed. [Mirror]
• Liam Neeson has completed Chloe, the film he was working on when his wife Natasha Richardson died. [CBS News]
• R.I.P Andy Hallet, who played the demon Lorne on Angel. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Blind item: "Which Academy Award winner, who constantly denies his philandering ways, was outed after sleeping with a publicist who blabbed to everyone?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I'm going to get smashed after doing this." — Ed Westwick, at the Dressed To Kilt show, before which he apparently stripped down to his underwear in a corner to change into his kilt. [Gatecrasher]
• "I break down a couple of times a week, at least. It gets overwhelming. Sometimes I think that I can't take this anymore. I just want to live a normal life. Olivia [Palermo] kind of mothers me and looks at me as a pet project…I'm not some country bumpkin. I'm from Los Angeles." — Whitney Port on The City. [Page Six]
• "If women look like her, that would be the perfect world. She doesn't need to change anything. Who likes stick skinny girls? Where's the flavor? Whoever likes those stick skinny girls never had sex before in their life." — Dancing With The Stars' "star" Gilles Marini, on people talking about Cheryl Burke's weight gain. [E!]
• "I want my dogs to be in my wedding, I am so serious." — Jennifer Hudson. [Mirror]
• "Girls are scary. Large groups of girls scare the (crap) out of me." — Kristen Stewart. [USA Today]
• I haven't read the books, but I saw the movie… I thought the movie was really bad." — Whitney Port, on Twilight. [Perez]

• Reports of LeAnn Rimes cheating on her husband, Dean Sheremet, just got juicier: Sheremet's family members called in to a radio show this morning to announce that he is gay. [Perez Hilton]

• Originally a spokesperson for the ski resort where Natasha Richardson was fatally injured said she was walking around and laughing after the fall and went to the hospital an hour later. Paramedics say they saw her sitting on a stretcher and were sent away. She was taken to the hospital three hours later. [TMZ]
• You can watch Lindsay Lohan's new Fornarina commercial here. For some reason it reminds us of Barbie and the Rockers. [Just Jared]
• Lindsay says of Britney Spears: "She's marketed as an entertainer, which is what she is. Not necessarily as, like, an artist. And I respect that about her, cause she doesn't want to pretend." [Jossip]
• Lindsay is having a hard time trying to rustle up work these days. "It's scary when you realise, 'Oh my God, I'm not working'. And have a house to pay for now," she says. Lindsay added: "I'm talking to (lots of people). One is Sean Penn - I spoke to him the other day. We're trying to get Seth Rogen for this project, but Seth won't call us back." [The Mirror]
• Lindsay may not have a job but she just bought a new Maserati. [Perez Hilton]
• A source claims that model Natasha Ellie is the woman who sent Chris Brown a text message the night of the assault, not his manager. Supposedly lyrics to Rihanna's song "Emergency Room" is about Rihanna discovering Chris was cheating on her with Natasha. [Hollywood Rag]
• Doug Reinhardt has asked Paris Hilton's father Rick for her hand in marriage and will presumably propose soon. The couple have been dating since last month. [Hollywood Rag]
• Fred Durst is still talking about his brief relationship with Britney Spears. He says: "I just guess at the time it was taboo for a guy like me to be associated with a gal like her." [People]
• Kelly Osbourne just left rehab a few weeks ago and says this is the first time she's been clean since she was a teenager. "I had my tonsils taken out [at age 13], and they gave me liquid Vicodin," said Osbourne. "I found, when I take this, people like me. I'm having fun, I'm not getting picked on. It became a confidence thing." [Just Jared]
• Vanessa Hudgens is "clearly the man in the relationship" because she pumped gas while Zac Efron sat in the car. [The Superficial]
• Ellen DeGeneres is going to be on the cover of O Magazine. Putting different people on the cover of a magazine? What's Oprah thinking? [Perez Hilton]
• In this video Ellen DeGeneres and Katy Perry sing "I Kissed A Girl." [Perez Hilton]
• Charlie Sheen can't tell his twins apart. "They're not identical, but at this stage, they're similar enough," says Charlie. He says he and his wife picked the names Max and Bob because they "are very short and simple - easy to spell and remember ... Bob is the same frontward and backward. I'm a fan of a short and simple name." [The Star]
• Gwyneth Paltrow says she's feeling "mother guilt" because she has to take her kids out of their London home for her Iron Man 2 shoot. She says: "I barely ever do films, I'm with them almost all the time. But in a way it makes the transition harder. I feel like if I worked all the time, then they would be used to it. But when I'm always there and always doing the school runs and I'm always around and then I just disappear for 14 hours a day to film, it's hard." [The Daily Express]
• It's pretty clear where Suze Orman wants the profits from George W. Bush's book to go. She said she wants to tell the former president: "You blew up every single financial vessel we had and if you think you aren't personally responsible, well, the blame starts at the top. There is no higher top than you, SIR! If I were you, I would feel so absolutely horrific that I would take every penny I had and distribute it to anybody and everybody to help them in whatever way I could. You owe the American people every penny of your fortune and your family's fortune." [Perez Hilton]
• Years ago, James Toback directed the film Black and White, in which Robert Downey, Jr. hits on Mike Tyson. Before the shoot, which took place soon after Downey got out of rehab, RDJ found out Toback hadn't told Tyson about the scene. Toback recalls: "Downey said, 'What if he gets angry? I said, 'I would assume he would.' He said, 'How far do you want me to take it?' I said, 'Take it until he responds in the extreme.' Downey responded, 'What if he kills me?' I said, 'Well, I haven't thought about that. I think it's unlikely-no better than a 5% chance.' But, at the rate you're going, you're going to end up dying in the parking lot of a motel in Culver City. So what would be better ... that or dying like this?"" [Black Book]

• Shh! Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson went on some kind of super secret date in Paris. Don't tell!

As you may recall, Owen and Kate were an item in 2006; she broke up with him in 2007 and he allegedly attempted suicide shortly after. [The Sun]

• Is it possible to resign from the human race? Nadya "Octomom" Suleman was offered $1 million to make a porn flick. [TMZ]
• By the by, Nadya Suleman told Dr. Phil that the hospital may not release her kids unless she can prove she can care for them. [LA Times]
• Warren Beatty wants Lindsay Lohan to star in a film he's working on, and to live in his house. Here's to hoping she plays his daughter and not his love interest. [Fox 411]
• There's a warrant out for the arrest of Adnan Ghalib: He's charged with assault with a deadly weapon, battery, and hit and run. And awful facial hair. [TMZ]
• The LAPD is still "vigorously" investigating how that picture of Rihanna was leaked to TMZ. [E!]
• Chris Brown is reportedly taking anger management classes. [Gatecrasher]
• Alex Rodriguez just found an apartment on Manhattan's Central Park West, two blocks from Madonna's home. Be careful: Jesus is watching! [Page Six]
• This was bound to happen: Slumdog, the musical. Proceeds would help fund Mumbai's destitute kids. [Hindustan Times]
• It's cool that housing officials in Mumbai plan to give the Slumdog kids' families some free apartments, even if it is a publicity stunt, but you've got to imagine that the kids friends and cousins are like so, so jealous, no? [The Sun]
• If you were watching the Oscars in Asia, the words "gay" and "lesbian" were censored. Gay Asians are pissed! [AP]
• Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes is going to be a gay ol' time: Apparently Holmes and Watson share a bed. Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law under the covers! [News Of The World]
• Finding Nemo vet Ellen DeGeneres will do another animated flick, Dog Show. Robert Downey Jr. and Tina Fey are the lead voice actors. The plot? A stray dog and her misfit friends "shake up the purebred world" of a Westminster-like dog show. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Will Iman pop up on Project Runway? [Page Six]
• Jay-Z and Khloe Kardashian had drinks and Jay left a $2000 tip. Klassy! [Page Six]
• Chow Yun Fat had eyelid surgery? He says: "As I grew older, my eyelids began to droop. I began going for cosmetic surgery in Hong Kong when I was filming The God Of Gamblers in 1989. If you go to Hong Kong for cosmetic surgery, I can introduce you to the doctor. He's cheap and good." Uh, thanks? [Straits Times]
• A TV commercial in China has David Beckham "talking" about an anti-impotence drug and saying, "It's the secret weapon with which I can satisfy Victoria." They're using celeb faces without permission. [Daily Mail]
• Eartha Kitt was nowhere to be found in the "In Memoriam" section of the Oscars. A fan contacted her rep, and her rep responded: "It was noticed and I'm handling it the best I can. Please continue to send your thoughts to ABC and SAG." [ONTD]
• Eartha Kitt's publicist tells Page Six: "It's clear that [Oscars producers] thought that publicist Warren Cowan was more of a household name." [Page Six]
• Robert Pattinson had better "watch out," because Taylor Lautner, the Twilight/New Moon werewolf Jacob Black, is a "hunk." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Evan Rachel Wood will play Juliet. In Romeo And Juliet. On the stage in Theatre In The Park in her hometown of Raleigh, North Carolina. Congrats? [Mirror]
• Pictures of Lily Allen dressed as a panda and a baby bird just make you like her more. [The Life Files]
• OMFG: Gossip Girl will return to the CW in the fall! So will One Tree Hill, 90210, Smallville, Supernatural and America's Next Top Model. Fate undecided: Privileged. [Reuters]
• Guests were "encouraged" to wear pink at Paris Hilton's second birthday party of the year. [Page Six]
• Jimmy Fallon on Late Night: "I have a realistic attitude about all this. People are going to see me who are awake at 12:30. College kids and prison guards." [The Daily Beast]
• Apparently Simon Cowell's comment about wanting to be frozen after death was a joke. [AP]
• Tiger Woods is talking about being lucky to get to stay home with his wife and kids while recovering from a knee injury and holy crap his daughter is adorbs. [People]
• In Amy Adams's next film, Sunshine Cleaning, she plays a single mom who cleans up crime scenes to make enough money to send her kid to private school. Oh, and she wears $100 jeans. [USA Today]
• Tommy Hilfiger's new wife is three months pregnant. (Tommy's daughter Ally is about to turn 24.) [Page Six]
• LOL: Keith Richards is telling people to sober up? [Page Six]
• Sandra Bullock stopped by Briarcrest Christian School in Memphis to research her role for The Blind Side, a film about a student who left his impoverished life and went to live with a wealthy couple, going on to become a successful football player. [UPI]
• By the by, Sandy Bullock sleeps with three dogs in her bed. [Page Six]
• The Killers are countersuing a former manager in Nevada federal court; both sides seek millions. [USA Today]
• Craig Bierko maybe dated Meg Ryan, Charlize Theron and Gretchen Mol. He definitely had something going on with Janeane Garofalo; he calls her "he" and she calls him "she." [Village Voice]
• If you want to read Mike Leigh's Oscar diary, it is here. [Guardian]
• The lead singer of the Bare Naked Ladies has resigned in a "mutual agreement." [ONTD]
• Blind item: "Which rock star has extra-special house parties? Guests check their clothes at the door, don a robe and indulge in huge bowls of every drug you can imagine." [Gatecrasher]
• "Like we've always said - someone that's good to our Mom, that's very important. And someone that has a good sense of humor." — Nick Jonas, on what kind of girl he and his brothers want. [Mirror]
• "She is pathetic now. Madonna used to be a symbol of rebellion in the '80s, someone who was against religious orthodoxy. Now we have this Madonna who is always preaching kabbalah, trying to teach people how to live their lives" — Camille Paglia in Brazil's Veja magazine. [Page Six]