[Los Angeles, December 4. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

It's interesting how he was homeless for a long time, how his catchphrase is, "daddy's leaving and he's taking the money," how, at 44, he still sorta feels like a latch-key kid afraid of losing it all. It's cool how now he actually has cash — a Bentley, a Rolex, a gorgeous house with a square toilet — after losing it after drugs and prison and so on. And he's thinking about having a baby: "The ultimate artifact of our love. In a onesie."

But some of these quotes!

The guy from Esquire, Scott Raab, says something about how he's glad to see RDJ and how far he's come. RDJ replies:

"This morning I was feeling this overwhelming sense of gratitude. I was having an argument with myself, and the thing that came into my head was, If two plus three is five, then five minus three is two - do you fucking get it?"

Um, what?

Then they talk about Iron Man 2, Sherlock Holmes and a possible Sherlock 2, plus a comedy, Due Date, from the guy who did The Hangover. Here's how RDJ explains his pacing:

"The whole pacing thing has come up in front of the review board - and I'm the one who said that if I don't take a break after Iron Man 2, there is something desperately wrong here. I'm not a guy who in order to be well I need to have one or another carrot in front of me the whole time. I can't keep going at this stride and be okay - but I can keep checking all the dials. This is a big, glorious impasse - but Mama needs a new pair of shoes, dude."

(Apparently "Mama," chair of the review board, is producer Susan Levin Downey, his wife. But without that information, it just sounds like there are imaginary people inside the man's head.)

Here's RDJ on his career:

"I hit my stride later than most folks. A couple years ago, it really was a big old hip-hip-hooray and let's get somethin' shakin' here. Then pfffffff - it reorganized at this higher level…"

Here: A restaurant analogy, followed by a sports analogy:

"I hand it to any and everyone who has made it past their late thirties and has any sense of contentment, because you know so much, and the anxiety can be so overwhelming - and managing the anxiety is a skill set that seems like a menu that changes every day. My insanity is thinking that somehow or another I was responsible - personally, directly responsible - for altering the course of things that have us sitting here on this deck. There's so many other factors in this - so many other people and past relationships, my kid and my folks, and the centerpiece of it all, Susan. It's like I know what happened, and I know that I got the ball and ran with it, and hip-hip-hip, and then like they're saying, 'Look - before you blow out a knee, we'd like to give you a bunch of endorsements,' and I go, 'Great.'

The truth of the matter is, it's always been like this. It hasn't gone up from down; it's just that it's finally got wide enough that I can be contained."

A surfing analogy followed by a car racing analogy:

"I'm not paranoid anymore. I'm not fearful. It's interesting to be surfing this tremendous crisis of capitalism - and I know there's a coral reef under me and I don't want to hang ten, but I do think that when you're in the pole position, that's when you try to beat your best personal time. So I really wanted to be aggressive about an artifact."

To sum up:

"My whole story - there's such immense satisfaction to see past that. I found my way out of the woods by a subtler and subtler trail of bread crumbs - now I'm just in the business of the business, and the business of my life, and the mind-blowing opportunities - and if nothing else, dude, I really love the way these ceilings look."

Robert Downey Jr.: The Second Greatest Actor in the World, Downey on Downey: 18 New Quotes from Robert Downey Jr. [Esquire]

• Donald Trump is calling for people to boycott Kanye West due to "Swift-gate," "so this kind of thing doesn't happen again." He says, "He couldn't care less about Beyonce. It was grandstanding to get attention." From one who'd know. [TMZ]

• Kanye West apologized again to Taylor Swift on his blog, writing: "I feel like Ben Stiller in "Meet the Parents" when he messed up everything and Robert De Niro asked him to leave... That was Taylor's moment and I had no right in any way to take it from her. I am truly sorry." He wrote another statement last night, but it was quickly deleted. [TMZ]
• Taylor Swift told reporters after the incident, "Well, I was standing on stage because I was really excited because I had just won the award. And then I was really excited because Kanye West was on stage. And then I wasn't so excited anymore after that." [Us]
• More celebrities are weighing in on Kanye. John Mayer Tweeted: "Big love to my girl @taylorswift13. A class act." Joel Madden writes: "WOW Taylor Swift's first VMA and she didn't even get to ENJOY it. Kanye You were just a bully on that one man." Katy Perry gets right to the point: "F**K U KANYE. IT'S LIKE U STEPPED 0N A KITTEN." [TMZ]
• Kanye may have messed with the wrong lady. The guy who played "Wolf" on American Gladiators wrote: "Just thought Kanye might want to know I hang with alot of the Country Artist and I will bump into him somewhere... HARD and several times!!! He is an ass and needs taken down, maybe Criss B can be there too. School is about to open and lessons about to be taught!" [TMZ]
• Kelly Clarkson wrote a blog post addressed to Kanye saying: "I've seen you do some pretty shitty things, but you just keep amazing me with your tactless, asshole ways. It's absolutely fascinating how much I don't like you. I like everyone. I even like my asshole ex that cheated on me over you… which is pretty odd since I don't even personally know you... The best part of this evening is that you weren't even up for THIS award and yet you still have a problem with the outcome. Is winning a moon man that much of a life goal?? You can have mine if it will shut you up. Is it that important, really??" [Rolling Stone]
• Even Joe Jackson bashed Kanye, saying, "I don't know what he was doing, he jumped up on stage and snatched that microphone out of that poor girl's hand. They should blackball him out of show business for that. He just leapt up there, that was bad." [TMZ]
• It seems Russell Brand is the only one who has any sympathy for Kanye. He says, "I know Kanye, and I know he's a nice bloke. We all make mistakes in life... We're all people, these things are a bit silly, no one died." [People]
• Telepictures, the production company behind Ellen DeGeneres' and Tyra Banks' shows, wants to develop a View-like show starring Kate Gosselin and Paula Deen. "They're looking around and casting for other women to be on the show with them," said a source. "But they want all the women to be moms." [E!]
• While co-hosting The View this morning, Kate Gosselin said of her divorce, "This is definitely, I'm not going to lie, difficult... For the sake of my children, I'm going to take the high road" and not discuss the matter further. [People]
• Kate Gosselin said at the Cleveland Women's show on Friday, "I've lost a lot of control in my life," adding, "At the beginning of all of this, you've heard me say before, I didn't want fans gawking, I didn't want people gawking, I just wanted to be myself, my family. I have learned, I appreciate your support, I need you, I love you, thank you." [Us]
• On the red carpet of the Toronto International Film Festival paparazzi told Colin Farrell's sister to move along so they could get a shot of him and he grabbed a photographer by the collar and shouted at him until he apologized. [Daily Mail]
• Ne-Yo has been in the studio with Rihanna, working on her next album. He says, "Expect an edgier, almost angrier Rihanna on this one... Rihanna says some things on this album that you've never heard her say before." [E!]
• "All kinds of things keep me grounded. My dogs and having to wake up and walk them every morning and having to walk them before bed at night," says Mischa Barton. "The routine of everything I do – going to work every day here and working on a television series and how much work that is." [People]
• Elton John and his partner David Furnish won't be able to adopt a 14-month-old HIV-positive boy from Ukraine because the country requires adoptive parents to be no older than 45 and married. Elton said, "He has stolen my heart. And he has stolen David's heart and it would be wonderful if we can have a home." [AP]
• Nick Hornby and Ben Folds wrote a song called "Levi Johnston's Blues," which includes the lyrics, "I like to do some shit, do some chillin' I guess/ You fuck with me and I'll kick your ass." [New York Magazine]
• Harrison Ford says, "The story for the new Indiana Jones is in the process of taking form...Steven Spielberg, George Lucas and myself are agreed on what the fifth adventure will concern, and George is actively at work. If the script is good, I'll be very happy to put the costume on again." [People]
• Hulk Hogan is suing his own lawyers because he claims he paid them more than $1 million to represent his son Nick after his 2007 car crash but the law firm never informed him that his insurance company offered to represent him for free. [TMZ]
• Terri Irwin is getting caught up in a legal battle with the distributor of Croc Chocs and Zoogle Jellies, candies that feature a photo of Steve Irwin and are sold at the Australia Zoo. [News.com.au]
• The ACLU says Richard Hatch is being held under "harsh" conditions in a Masssachusetts jail for giving an unauthorized interview while he was on house arrest, and is being kept in solitary confinement for 23 hours a day. [USA Today]
• Oprah Winfrey says she's willing to go to Cophenhagen next month to help convince the International Olympic Committee that they should pick Chicago for the 2016 Summer Olympics. Chicago is up against Tokyo, Madrid, and Rio de Janeiro. [Chicago Tribune]
• Oprah Winfrey says even though she threw her support behind Barack Obama during the campaign, "I have not said one thing about this political situation and don't intend to... Everybody knows that I was a big campaigner for Obama and I still am. I think he's doing a great job. I think that it's the toughest job in the world with the economy and health care and all of that." [AP]
• Seth Meyers says he'll be doing 'Weekend Update' alone on the upcoming season of SNL, despite reports that Kristen Wiig would become his co-anchor. "I'm so heartbroken that the Internet, for the first time, was wrong about something," Meyers said. "How are we ever going to trust the Internet again?" [CNN]
• Lil Wayne's first child with Lauren London was born last Wednesday, and singer Nivea claims that she's also pregnant with his child. He already has two children from previous relationships. [E!]
• Michael Bay says he doesn't approve a letter from the crew of Transformers calling Megan Fox stupid and ungracious after she compared Bay to Hitler. He wrote on his website, "I don't condone the crew letter to Megan... and I don't condone Megan's outlandish quotes. But her crazy quips are part of her crazy charm. The fact of the matter is I still love working with her, and I know we still get along. I even expect more crazy quotes from her on 'Transformers 3.'" [UPI]
• On the finale of America's Got Talent on Wednesday nigh,t Susan Boyle will wear a Suzanne Neville dress the designer says will "really wow" the crowd. She says, "The brief was to make Susan look super elegant and so we created a long, classic black gown for Susan to wear." [People]
• At the Toronto Film Festival David Duchovny said of his wife Tea Leoni and their two kids, "I had to leave them this morning to come here – that's tough," adding that though he and Tea separated last fall now at home, "Everything is great." [People]
• RHOA's Kandi Burrus says of her relationship with her fiance AJ, "We're on hiatus. He's a great guy and he's not the type to sit on his behind like a scrub, so it has nothing to do with that. Yes, he has a lot of children, and yes, I didn't know about them all at first but I got over it because as long as you handle your responsibility and spend time with your children it's not an issue for me. Another thing I want to set the record straight on is that AJ was married before. A lot of people make comments like, if he didn't marry his other children's mothers then why do you think he's going to marry you." [ONTD]
• Robert Downey, Jr. says of his relationship with Jamie Foxx's character in The Soloist, "In some ways the film feels like a love-story. A platonic love story, of course. But it's also about faith – about believing in that connection between people, and to me that means believing in ourselves. It's funny to say this about what I guess is a big Hollywood movie, but actually it feels like something more personal, something quite pure." [The Telegraph]
• Beth Ditto says she doesn't mind that many people know who she is, but have never heard her music. She explains: "I'm not someone who says, 'It's all about the music, dude.' As a woman I think the media really want to see you demonised for having a life outside your musical family. A woman has her nuclear family, and that's supposed to be all there is, and if she steps outside that role of wife, mother or daughter to become an independent personality, she's immediately criticised for neglecting her motherly duty. That's exactly how I feel about Gossip; like I should have that motherly duty to my band. If I were a man I don't think it would be a problem." [The Independent]

• Lady Gaga on those nasty hermaphrodite rumors:

"My little vagina is very offended." [News.com.au]

• Celebrities seen attending DJ AM's memorial — designed to resemble a 12-step meeting — include Lindsay Lohan, Robert Downey Jr., John Mayer, Nicole Richie, Samantha Ronson, Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart. [AP, People]
• Susan Boyle's album is topping Amazon's bestsellers list, even though it's not on sale until November. Pre-orders have the album out-selling Whitney Houston and the Twilight soundtrack. [Daily Mail]
• So you know how Chris Brown critiqued Oprah for doing a show on domestic violence, dedicated to "all the Rihannas of the world"? He called it "a slap in the face." And he said: "I did a lot of stuff for her, like going to Africa and performing for her school. She could've been more helpful, like, ‘OK, I'm going to help both of these people out.'" A source says: "He's done. Whatever goodwill he had, he's totally ruined it by saying that. What was he thinking? And who the hell goes up against Oprah? It just shows he doesn't think. No one is going to want him as the face of their brand." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Meanwhile: Rihanna has been seen being "touchy-feely" with "scenester" Travis London. [NY Daily News]
• Michael Jackson's burial last night gave Katherine Jackson closure, sources say. "Everyone's been telling her how strong she is, but even she said, ‘It's not always easy to be this strong,'" says Rev. Al Sharpton, a Jackson family friend. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Paris Jackson cried when she stepped into the mausoleum where her father was to be entombed; Katherine Jackson started to go in but turned back, overcome by grief. [AP]
• Lisa Marie Presley, Elizabeth Taylor, Chris Tucker, Macaulay Culkin and Mila Kunis attended Michael Jackson's burial. Gladys Knight sang. [People]
• Michael Jackson was not buried at Neverland — or in Gary, Indiana, because his family wanted a "secluded, dignified resting place fitting for a music legend." His mother, Katherine, wanted to be able to visit her son without fanfare or fans. [Mirror]
• An Australian newspaper mocked Russell Crowe for smoking and eating a big meal during a recent bike ride. Naturally Russell has challenged the paper's gossip columnist to a "duel by bicycle." Apparently Russell's spokesperson called the guy the next day and said: Get on your bike. Russell wants you to go riding with him. Are you ready to die?" [Breitbart]
• Lisa Ling says that when her sister Laura Ling was held captive in North Korea, Diane Sawyer reached out: "She made calls and took meetings on our behalf for which we will be forever grateful." [People]
• We've seen a lot of Jon Gosselin lately, but not a lot of his girlfriend. A source says of Hailey Glassman: "Hailey actually hates the fact that Jon is famous. She doesn't want to be photographed and doesn't like the attention." [Page Six]
• Zooey Deschanel is "scrambling to slim down" for her wedding; she's been taking ballet workouts back to back. Or maybe she just likes the workout? [Page Six]
• Joy Behar is silly. [Page Six]
• Newly released emails from Carrie Prejean show that she and the pageant officials were butting heads way before she spoke out on same-sex unions. In a March 19 email, Carrie wrote to Miss California co-director Keith Lewis: "I WILL NOT BE VERBALLY AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSED ANYMORE BY ANY OF YOU. I HAVE A COMPETITION TO PREPARE FOR. I WILL NO LONGER BE DEALING WITH ANYONE WHO IS GOING TO BRING ME DOWN AT THIS POINT. I WILL ONLY SURROUND MYSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME HAPPY. AND RIGHT NOW, THAT IS NONE OF YOU. I WILL SEE YOU ALL IN APRIL. PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT ME AT ALL FROM THIS POINT FORWARD." [Fox News]
• "Donald Trump is such a hands-on boss that he personally helps pick six of the 15 finalists in the Miss Universe pageant each year — because the preliminary judges often overlook the most beautiful contestants." [Page Six]
• Check out this "commercial" for "Fecalux," starring Roseanne. It makes you poop. [ONTD]
• All About Steve "is an oddly creepy, sour film, featuring a heroine so desperate and peculiar that audiences may be more likely to pity than root for her." [Rotten Tomatoes]
• Jake Brockman, a former keyboard player with Echo and the Bunnymen, was killed in a motorcycle crash Tuesday on the Isle of Man. [BBC News]
• Whatshername says Whatshisname has a "secret lover." [The Sun]
• "I hope this show is a huge hit and that people love it. Because I like playing this character more than any character I've ever played." — Courteney Cox on upcoming show Cougar Town. [LA Times]
• "The older I get, the younger the leading man gets." — Michelle Pfeiffer. [Telegraph]
• "I've always said I believe in good music and bad music. ...I like music. My next album, which I'm working on now — that's exclusive, no one knows that — is gonna be the album that really ...it's not gonna be a #1 album. That's where I'm at right now. I wanna make the most experimental album I ever made." — Jay-Z. [MTV News]
• "People often look for deep psychological and emotional reasons why people eat, and I'm sure for many people those exist. But other people, and I would include myself, are just fucking greedy bastards who like eating. It's nice – it's a nice feeling. Eating chocolate is nice, right? Chocolate's fucking great. So I don't think it was a horrible self-comforting thing, I think it was just lack of self-discipline. Most people want a load of chocolate, but they stop. They think, if I do that I'll get fat. Whereas I just thought, I don't care." — Little Britain's Matt Lucas, who has recently lost weight because his doctor had warned him he was at risk of becoming diabetic. [Guardian]
• "You can live a very normal life if you don't actually look for things. Someone said, 'Oh, I saw a picture of you on the Internet, that was a really pretty hat.' Not hat, I don't wear hats. 'That was a really great dress!' I was like, 'Oh, I just wore that the other day, how did you know?' 'Oh, well, on blank-blank-blank-dot-com.' I wouldn't know. I don't know whose movie made money — I haven't seen a movie. I don't know who's famous and who's not, I don't know any young people that are coming up. I'll see somebody, and I'll say, 'That girl's really pretty.' And someone may say, 'Oh, of course, she's on "The Hills" or something.' Is that a show? I've got strong opinions, and I can get short. But I'm just not that high-maintenance. So the whole world knows I had miscarriages. And yes, I've done in vitro however many times — three times. Yes, I've said that David and I go to therapy. Yes. Nothing's too precious for me. For some reason, I don't care. I wish I could be a little bit more, like, 'You're trying to dig something out of me,' and me being like, 'I'm not going to talk about that.' What do you want to talk about? I don't care." — Courteney Cox. [LA Times]
• "I don't enjoy being looked at. But that's part of being successful, doing magazine covers. It's very masochistic – the one thing you're so afraid of you become addicted to. I'm addicted to being uncomfortable." — Megan Fox. [NY Daily News via Wonderland Magazine]

[London, August 22. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Is Brad Pitt done with showbiz? It almost seems like he's dropping hints:

"I think acting is a younger man's game," he says. "There are fewer interesting parts for older people and we all get older. But I feel like I've done it. I've kind of had my time and that's quite freeing. There are still acting dreams left but I'll do them first and then we'll talk about them." There's always architecture! [Daily Express]

• Jennifer Aniston embraces the lonely! "If I'm the emblem for 'this is what it looks like to be the lonely girl getting on with her life,' so be it." Jen tells Elle. "I can make fun of myself," she says. "And I'll bring it up as long as the world is bringing it up." [NY Post]
• Friends, today is the day: Some sites are participating in A Day Without Megan Fox. But over at E!, they're calling it Megan Fox Awareness Day, since she "drops wild nonsense in interviews, walks around wet, totally bends over in big dumb movies about robots, and then makes ballsy acting choices." [E!]
• Madonna did not, repeat, did not write a song dedicated to Guy Ritchie called "Eternal Love." Gossipeuse Liz Smith calls it a "hilarious rumor." [Variety]
• Page Six claims that the "gay spin" on Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson — as played by Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law in Guy Ritchie's flick, out on Christmas Day, could "backfire." Former Post movie critic Michael Medved says: "Who is going to want to see Downey Jr. and Law make out? I don't think it would be appealing to women." Sir, you are wrong. [Page Six]
• Oscar-winning screenwriter Dustin Lance Black is suing Starzlife.com for posting explicit photographs of him having sex with a guy named Jeff Delancy. Invasion of privacy, copyright infringement, etc. [ONTD]
• Aw, sweet: NYPD cops are worried about Robert Pattinson: "We have celebrities a lot bigger than this guy who can come and go in perfect safety because we know how to take the right precautions. We have presidents and kings come and go. This poor kid can't get in or out of a car without things getting dangerous." [MSNBC]
• E! landed an "exclusive" interview with Kate Major, aka "Kate 2.0" and in this preview she says vague things like "Do I regret anything? Not really." And: "It is a huge relief to finally talk." Uh, you were talking the whole time. And seriously, how did the paparazzi know you went to dinner with the dude? Who has photographer's phone numbers: Jerk Gosselin or you, a Star magazine reporter? And isn't it funny how that shot of you guys going out to dinner made the cover of Star? [E!]
• By the by, check out this Kate Gosselin-esque wig. The prediction is that you'll be seeing a lot of them come Halloween. [LA Times]
• Rihanna had ice cream with the record exec responsible for putting Chris Brown's song in a Wrigley's commercial. Hmm. [Page Six]
• An animated music video directed by the late Heath Ledger premieres online today; it's for Modest Mouse's song "King Rat" and can be seen on MySpace. [Newser, NME]
• Michael Douglas's son Cameron: Busted for meth. [TMZ]
• Dina Lohan and Michael Lohan: Spotted acting friendly at a charity event. [Page Six]
• Why does Michael Jackson's dermatologist Dr. Arnold Klein claim to have "unique interests" in the custody of MJ's kids? Is he indeed the bio-dad? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Kathy Hilton, who met Michael Jackson when they were teens, says: "I adore Mrs. Jackson. Katherine is the rock." Of MJ, Kathy says: "People think that they knew him and they didn't. His generosity, sense of humor, the mischievous giggle, the laugh." [People]
• It's confirmed that Kara DioGuardi will return to American Idol, and Fox execs are singing her praises. Mike Darnell, president of alternative programming, says she has a "spitfire personality and sharp musical sensibility" and gave the show "new energy"; executive producer Simon Fuller says, "She is a breath of fresh air and her passion for music and her understanding of talent is invaluable." What does all this mean for Paula Abdul? [People]
• Someone overheard Mischa Barton talking about having a stalker. [Page Six]
• Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler are planning to remarry, one year after finalizing their divorce. "We would like to renew our vows and have another wedding," Shanna says. "It's not so much about the wedding but about having a celebration of each other and getting through all the crazy things we've been through." And: "When you almost lose a loved one, it makes you appreciate things you took for granted." [ONTD]
• There's a request for a restraining order against Daniel Baldwin — issued by a woman in Malibu. She fired her nanny, who is Baldiwn's niece, and Baldwin called the house and "left a hostile message." [Radar Online]
• 24's Mary Lynn Rajskub married personal trainer Matthew Rolph in Las Vegas over the weekend, in a casino with Elvis playing. But! "Our wedding was beautiful, spontaneous and intimate," she says. [People]
• Dearest Hugh Jackman, of course we will go see you play P.T. Barnum in The Greatest Showman on Earth, a musical flick put together by the peeps who did your Academy Awards extravaganza. Especially since Mika is in talks to do the music and lyrics. [Variety]
• Griffin O'Neal is spilling all kinds of shit about his dad, Ryan O'Neal. For instance: His father attempted to shoot him; Ryan was unfaithful to Farrah Fawcett; Ryan gave Redmond cash for drugs. [CNN]
• Hulk smash jitterbug! Lou Ferrigno is headed to Dancing With The Stars. [Life & Style]
• Click for an excellent snap of Jack Nicholson getting down on the dancefloor in the South of France. [NY Post]
• Jenna Elfman has a sitcom on CBS this fall, but she did go through a dark period where shows got canceled and development deals failed for various reasons. "It was quite a challenging four or five years in my life." [LA Times]
• Alyssa Milano has an ABC comedy pilot, Romantically Challenged, which looks like it might get picked up. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Chelsea Handler is the worst boss ever in a video at the link. [E!]
• Laguna Beach alum Jason Wahler got drunk and threw his shoes at people. [TMZ]
• Kevin Costner will return to Alberta, Canada to lend support to those injured by a stage collapse at a country music festival where he was set to perform. [Mirror]
• "Julianna Margulies slapped Chris Noth three times for the scene in the pilot in which The Good Wife goes bad. In a good way.The first time, she didn't hit him hard enough. The second time, the camera was off. The third time, she left a red welt on his face. 'Chris Noth is so great,' she said at press tour on Monday. 'He's like, 'Oh, please, I've been hit so many times.'" [LA Times]
• Will The Sopranos make it to the big screen, as a movie? [Gatecrasher]
• Fifty years ago, Jayne Mansfield cut a ribbon at the Chiswick Flyover, a stretch of elevated road in west London. To celebrate the 50th anniversary of the flyover, Mansfield's daughter Mariska Hargitay has been invited to an event. [Telegraph]
• "I haven't done it yet, but I'm excited... I'm lucky – yeah, I know." — Gerard Butler, on kissing Jennifer Aniston in scenes for The Bounty. [People]

• Samantha Ronson reportedly returned home at 5am last night to find that Lindsay Lohan had been waiting on her stoop for hours. The paparazzi caught Linds crying, demanding to know where Sam had been, and shrieking, "I'm your girlfriend!"

• Lindsay had apparently been waiting with an anonymous friend who Sam kicks out saying, "She's on my property, I don't know her, I want her out." The girl leaves and Lindsay follows Sam into the house, slamming the door behind her. Video here: [TMZ]
• Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush have split, reports US. "Nobody cheated," said a source. Didn't they just go to Africa together? [US]
• A car Katie Holmes was sitting in on the Australian set of Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark started sparking and burst into flames seconds after she got out due to a problem with the car battery. "Katie was very shaken by the ordeal," said a source. "She took the rest of the day off while special effects staff looked over the faults. Katie has filmed scenes since but it has made her think about her safety on set. She will be shooting the same scene at a later date." [The Daily Mail]
• "A source very, very, very, very close to Jon Gosselin" revealed exclusively to RadarOnline.com that Jon is secretly still dating both Hailey Glassman AND Kate Major." Two things: is the source "very, very, very, very close to Jon" Jon Gosselin? Also, if this is how Jon keeps a secret what's his version of a public announcement? Is he going to go door to door introducing us to his new girlfriend? [Radar Online]
• A reporter Kate Major used to intern for at Chicago Now says Kate told her she and Jon Gosselin are together but he "can't talk" right now due to his "situation," meaning his pending divorce and contract with TLC. [Chicago Now]
• Tony Romo has instructed security to keep Jessica Simpson out of his Dallas home. A sign at the entrance to his gated community reads "RED ALERT!!! TONY ROMO HAS MADE SOME CHANGES TO HIS LIST OF PEOPLE ALLOWED IN....JESSICA IS NO LONGER ON THE LIST AND NOT APPROVED FOR ACCESS." [Us]
• Here's some good news: Rihanna's rep says that though she and Chris Brown stayed at the same hotel over the weekend, it was just a coincidence and they're not back together. Maybe she can explain that concept to Robert Pattinson/Kristen Stewart fans too. [MSNBC]
• A parole hearing took place today for the man who killed Kelsey Grammer's sister in 1975 in an attempted robbery. Grammer tried to attend the hearing but his flight was delayed, so he wrote a letter saying his sister was "smart and good and decent," and "I can never escape the horror of what happened" to her ... "Please do not release this man from prison." The parole board decided Karen Grammer's murderer will stay in prison for at least another five years. [TMZ]
• Kelly Clarkson's new single "Already Gone" has the same backing track as Beyonce's "Halo" and Clarkson says it's all the her music producer's fault. "No one's gonna be sittin' at home, thinking 'Man, Ryan Tedder gave Beyonce and Kelly the same track to write to ... no, they're just gonna be saying I ripped someone off," she said. [TMZ]
• The I.R.S has filed a $7,373 tax lien against P.Diddy's Atlanta restaurant Justin's Restaurant. Diddy says it's all a big mistake: the I.R.S. was sending notices to his identically named restaurant in New York that closed a few years ago. [The Detroit News]
• Tito Jackson has confirmed that Michael Jackson's body is at Forest Lawn cemetery. [Entertainment Tonight]
• Debbie Rowe just showed up at the Beverly Hills office of her former boss Dr. Arnold Klein, supposedly to visit another doctor who works in Klein's office. [TMZ]
• Fans at a Jonas Brothers concert this weekend concluded that Joe Jonas broke up with Camilla Belle after he changed the lyrics to a few songs and appeared to cry during the song "Camp Rock." [The Mirror, Perez Hilton]
• Now Camilla Belle's rep has confirmed the breakup explaining, "There is no third party involved and they care deeply about each other and will remain friends." [People]
• BREAKING: Victoria Beckham went to dinner with her hair in a bun. [The Telegraph]
• Sacha Baron Cohen has been threatened by the group of Palestinian terrorists featured in Bruno. A representative for The Martyrs Brigades released a statement saying they are "very upset" and will "respond in a suitable way." [The Telegraph]
• Lost creators Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof dropped some spoilers about season six at Comic Con, which you can read about here: [N.Y. Magazine]
• We're learning more fascinating details about Jennifer Lopez's 40th birthday party on Saturday night. Liza Minnelli, Gayle King, and various Lopez family members were in attendance, and a witness says J.Lo and Marc Anthony "were affectionate with each other and obviously loving the night. Marc's arm was around Jennifer a lot, they'd give each other pecks on the face every now and then. She was clearly pleased with how the night went." [People]
• Entertainment Tonight just figured out that Mischa Barton has been released from psychiatric evaluation (even though Us reported it last week.) [Entertainment Tonight]
• Joel Madden says he's working on a memoir about his experience with kids, relationship, and moving to L.A., "but I don't want to put a book out there if it's not actually meaningful. I'm not going to go there unless I can deliver." [People]
• Robert Downey Jr. will star opposite Zach Galifianakis in Due Date, a comedy about an expectant father (Downey) trying to get to the birth of his first child. Director Todd Philips of The Hangover describes it as "a buddy comedy without the buddies." [Yahoo]
• Robert Downey Jr. said he thinks he and Jude Law have a special chemistry in Sherlock Homes, joking, "It's called circumstantial homosexuality." He added that even in real life, "We just became really close really quickly, because we just rolled up our sleeves and started working from jump." [People]
• Tobey Maguire wrote a letter to Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senator Tom Harkin saying, "As a parent, I am contacting you because I am deeply concerned that unhealthy school lunches are contributing to our nation's childhood obesity epidemic. My wife and I just had our second child, so this issue is tremendously important to us…Let me ask you please to ensure the Child Nutrition Act provides more fruits, vegetables, and healthy vegetarian foods. Young people deserve healthful food, and I can't imagine a better investment in the future of our country." [Politico]
• "I haven't chosen any other action films since Kill Bill because I felt that everything else just sort of paled by comparison. I don't like to get lulled into some hole that I can't get out of." — Uma Thurman [The Daily Express]
• Megan Fox says she's too afraid to watch horror movies, but she enjoyed starring in Jennifer's Body because, "For me to be able to play something that I would normally be frightened by was really intriguing and interesting... It's cool to see myself being able to scare people because I'm just a little girl." [People]

[LA, May 30. Image via Getty.]

• Interviewer Daphne Barak is filming a documentary about Amy Winehouse in St. Lucia that will be released later this year. Barak promises a "truthful and revealing look at her complicated life." [People]

• People harassed Oksana Grigorieva's mother, who lives outside Moscow and doesn't speak English, to ask if the rumors that she is pregnant with Mel Gibson's baby are true. She claims her daughter didn't break up Gibson's marriage and as for the baby, "I can't say anything," she said, "Wait for the official statement from them." [People]
• While Rachel Bilson was spending time with Hayden Christensen in Canada, someone broke into her L.A. home and stole jewelry and designer clothes, including her vintage shoe collection and her grandmother's jewelry. "She's shaken," a friend says. "She feels violated." [People]
• More scary news: A man broke into three homes in Washington State, took off his clothes, and said he was looking for Jennifer Aniston. In one case he woke up a 15-year-old girl in her bedroom while he was drunk, and she had to force him out of the room. [UPI]
• Dash, the new South Florida boutique owned by the Kardashians has been vandalized before tomorrow's grand opening. Police are trying to determine if it was a random crime or if someone was targeting Kim and company. [TMZ]
• Britney Spears' former bodyguard is suing her because he claims she "negligently operated her home and business thereby causing injuries to [him]." [TMZ]
• Lawyers for Britney Spears' conservatorship have filed legal paper saying they are owed $2.5 million because they have revitalized her career and stabilized her personal life. [TMZ]
• T.I.'s jail sentence has been reduced to 60 days because he already served 305 days at home. So if one say, blogged from home, could that help shave time off a future prison sentence? [Perez Hilton]
• Rumors going around the internet that Patrick Swayze died are not true. "This is to confirm that Patrick Swayze did not pass away this morning contrary to severely reckless reports stemming from a radio station in Jacksonville, Florida," says his rep. "Patrick Swayze is alive, well and is enjoying his life and he continues to respond to treatment." [People]
• Nadya Suleman will be in the hospital for the next day or two after undergoing a second surgery in four days. She went in for an operation on Thursday to remove benign muscular tumors on her uterine wall, but excessive bleeding forced doctors to stop the surgery. Her second surgery to complete the procedure went well and she is resting in the hospital. [Radar]
• Brad Pitt and his brother Doug Pitt have donated £392,155 to Drury University in their hometown of Springfield, Missouri. The money will help the school's sports arena earn a Gold Leadership in Environmental Energy and Design (LEED) certification, making it the most eco-friendly arena in the U.S. [The Daily Express]
• Angelina Jolie watched the trial of a Congolese warlord accused of using child soldiers in the International Criminal Court today. She praised the former child soldiers who came to testify against him, saying, "After watching the proceedings from the viewing booth, I stood up and found Thomas Lubanga Dyilo looking at me. I imagined how difficult it must be for all the brave young children who have come to testify against him." [AP]
• Robert Pattinson is going to star in all sorts of serious indie movies, to show the world that he's much more than just that dude from Twilight. He shares some deep thoughts about his upcoming roles at the link, but assures fans he'll have a lot of screen time in New Moon, even though in the book his character doesn't. [Variety]
• Robert Pattinson is committed to doing the fourth Twilight movie, Breaking Dawn. "I went into it thinking it was a trilogy," said Pattinson, "I'm looking forward to doing a saga." [E!]
• The following shows are cancelled: The Unit, My Name Is Earl, and Medium. But, the following shows were saved at the last minute: Chuck, Dollhouse, and The New Adventures of Old Christine (which will switch to ABC if CBS cancels it). [The Live Feed]
• Also cancelled (before it even ran) the Gossip Girl spinoff Lily and Privileged, which will be replaced by the new Melrose Place. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Rashida Jones and Andy Samburg star in the fake trailer MTV Movie Awards "Best Villain" nominee Gentle Dismemberment, which is frankly not the best of Samburg's promos for the awards show. [Funny Or Die]
• Ellen DeGeneres was the Tulane University commencement speaker, which is apparently one of the finest graduation speeches ever given. You can watch it at the link and decide for yourself. [Perez Hilton]
• Everyone thought Pink and Carey Hart were renewing their vows at her house because she was Tweeting about a "white wedding" but as the ceremony started she wrote: "My best friend is getting married. Hahaha. Not me." [The Daily Express]
• Here's the new trailer for Sherlock Holmes starring Robert Downey Jr.. It looks awesome, but purists will probably point out that Irene Adler never handcuffed a naked Sherlock Holmes to a bed. [People]
• Hindu leader Rajan Zed was hating on Gwyneth Paltrow's, saying she shouldn't use lines like "nourish the inner aspect" on her Goop newsletter. "The actress needs to grow-up and stop writing about mundane topics like ‘Boots by Gucci', ‘Banana Pancakes', ‘The Hungry Cat' and ‘Tweezerman' - in which she talks about taming the unruly eyebrows of men." said Zed. "Instead, she needs to talk about topics like realizing self, immortality, deeper reality, eternity, soul, inner realms of the mind and spirit, pure consciousness. That's if she's truly serious about inner aspect." [Pop Crunch]
• Kylie Minogue has been dating what The Daily Mail calls her "Spanish toyboy" for seven months. She says, "It is all going well and I know I am very happy right now. I want the happy ever after ending. I've definitely changed. I'm just letting things happen and seeing what does. In so many ways I am behind the mark for my age. I'm not married and I don't have children but my attitude now is that things may happen or they may not but just be happy." [The Daily Mail]
• As part of a weekend of birthday surprises for Tori Spelling, husband Dean McDermott got a tattoo featuring "a large Koi fish symbolizing Tori, a tiger representing Dean, and three baby Koi fish for Liam, Stella, and (McDermott's son from a previous marriage) Jack." The tattoo also featured peonies and the word "forever." [People]
• Here's an update on everything Jon and Kate Gosselin plus their eight kids have done since Saturday, including fascinating tidbits like Kate running errands with her daughter Alexis. [People]
• While he wasn't allowed to do a cameo in Star Trek, William Shatner is excited about his new YouTube cartoon The Gavones. "It's the mafia in Hollywood trying to make a hit – and half the family think it's murder and the other half thinks it's a movie," says Shatner. "It's a comedic Soprano family." [People]
• Producers from Bravo are looking for cast members for The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. [TMZ]
• "I am nobody's white bitch, gold digger or fame chaser!" - Russell Simmons' new girlfriend. [The Awl]
• Pedro Almodovar explained his directing style, saying, "I play all the roles on set," for example, "In a film I made a long time ago ... I even performed cunnilingus on an actress to show the actor how to do it." [Yahoo]

• Chris Brown has reportedly moved on. His new ladyfriend is actually an ex. She attends University of Mary Washington and they met in Virginia, which is where he's from. His reps deny everything. [Gatecrasher]

• Are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie trying to adopt another kid, this time from the Philippines? [Daily Mail]
• Is Pamela Anderson getting ready to wed —- for the fourth time? The dude would be her current boyfriend, Jamie Padgett. [The Sun]
• "Someone in the Kardashian family will soon have plastic surgery," says Kim Kardashian. "I can't tell you who, but someone in my family will look totally different and viewers will see it all on the show very soon." Uh, is it Bruce Jenner? [People]
• Suri Cruise is starting her "five day a week Scientology training," which really just means she'll be attending that school started by Will Smith that uses "study technology." But the school does require a "low-carb, low-sodium and low-sugar organic diet." Suri is about to turn 3. [Daily Mail]
• Although Lindsay Lohan is "heartbroken," Lindsay and Sam are still talking,says a friend. Also: Lindsay "barely sleeps, which explains a lot of her behavior. She's exhausted. She can't even sit down for a minute without pacing around the room. It's really sad." [People]
• Lindsay was seen carrying something called Neuro Bliss, which is supposed to "relax neural tissues, to enhance brain activity, focus and provide a sense of well-being." [TMZ]
• This report is titled, "Lindsay Parties The Pain Away." [OK!]
• Madonna is still trying to adopt Mercy James, the child in Malawi. Her lawyer has filed an appeal, and she says "I want to provide Mercy with a home, a loving family environment and the best education and healthcare possible." [Reuters]
• Mercy James is "in hiding" so that her biological father doesn't come and take her; apparently he has only materialized since Madonna showed interest in the child. [Daily Mail]
• News you cannot use: Madonna's son David is a fan of Australian football. [News.com.au]
• Is it mean that Joel Madden posted a picture of a young Nicole Richie on his Twitter and wrote, "This is why I love her folks. Is it not Ron Perlman circa Beauty and the Beast??" [People]
• Hermione's coming to the states: Emma Watson will be attending Brown University. [Daily Express]
• Even though Paris Hilton is with Doug Reinhardt now, she totally talks to her ex, Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos, at least three times a week. They probably just discuss the economy and ? [Daily Mail]
• Brace yourself for a Nadya Suleman reality show, which is super close to happening. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Some lady from a rehab center says she had a "secret fling" with Blake Fielder-Civil and is knocked up with his kid. Is it true? Will Amy Winehouse flip her wig? [Daily Mail]
• Amy Winehouse has been working with the Gorillaz instead of working on her own album. [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse and Duffy are no match for Dusty Springfield, says a friend of Dusty Springfield's. [Telegraph]
• Did Whitney Port leave her job at Diane von Furstenberg, after being beaten out for a promotion by Olivia Palermo? [Page Six]
• Josh Hartnett was seen partying in Miami, so he's clearly recovered from that gastrointestinal problem which sent him to the hospital earlier this month. [UPI]
• Did Jimmy Fallon steal an album cover from the wall of a New York City restaurant and show it off on the Tonight Show? He's claiming it was a prop, but the restaurant has posted a sign, saying: ""Wanted! Jimmy Fallon. A free meal and drink to anyone who can retrieve our record cover back to us safely." [UPI]
• Tim Roth says he was a victim of child abuse. "It happened during my childhood up to my early teens and although I'm not going to say who it was, he's long gone now — and I hasten to add it wasn't my father or mother. Things happen to you in your life, but you don't want to consider yourself to be a victim — you want to be a survivor and the first thing that helps you do that and helps you get through it is speaking and finding your voice." [Daily Mail]
• WTF: New York Post film critic Lou Lumenick wrote: "You know a movie's got problems when the most memorable thing about it is Sienna Miller's moustache. That growth above her lip is clearly visible in two scenes, once in profile." How is that relevant to the movie (The Mysteries Of Pittsburgh) or her acting? [The Sun]
• Sienna Miller has dropped from number 45 to 202 on FHM's Sexiest Women list. [The Sun]
• Trouble in Kate Beckinsale's marriage? [Daily Mail]
• Jared Leto invited children rescued from a life of prostitution to sit in on a recording session with his band, 30 Seconds To Mars. [Monica Seles is opening up about her addiction to food in a new book, Getting A Grip. [Daily Mail]
• Long-haired heartthrob Fabio wrecked a Ferrari on Mulholland Drive over the weekend. Did you know dude is 50? [UPI]
• The Hannah Montana movie took the top spot at the weekend box office with a fairly respectable $17.2 million. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Why the fact that Sylvester Stallone has Russian heritage is breaking news is a mystery. [Daily Mail]
• Sting and his wife have invited a group of friends on an all-expenses-paid luxury trip to Tuscany to discuss "social consciousness." [Daily Mail]
• Here's a profile of Carla Gugino in which she says: "I was so serious when I was young. My mom would come home and say, 'Carla, stop studying." Or, "The dishes are clean enough.' I felt that to be successful I couldn't drink, I couldn't smoke. But acting taught me to have a life that could feed my work.… I had a happy childhood, but I think it also pushed me to try to create my own sense of stability and made me very intense for my age." [NY Times]
• Singer Cassie shaved part of her head, and it looks cute. [NY Daily News]
• Two of Leona Lewis's cousins have been arrested for allegedly beating up and trying to rob some drug dealers. [The Sun]
• Ooh, a retrospective of Ray Liotta's career. He was so hot in Something Wild. [CNN]
• Bjorn Ulvaeus of ABBA says there should not be a sequel to Mamma Mia: "It wouldn't work." [UPI]
• In this piece, Sir Roger Moore talks about all of his ailments — kidney stones, shingles, low heart rate, etc — as well as his hypochondria. [Daily Mail]
• William Hurt will join the cast of the Robin Hood flick which stars Russell Crowe in the lead and Cate Blanchett as Maid Marian. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Shenae Grimes of 90210 was asked who she'd like to come to the set: "Luke Perry, obviously. I mean, come on! We've all been dying for it. I still am but I may have to give up the dream." [Mirror]
• This sentence means nothing to me, but perhaps others will care: The Veronicas are dating brothers from rock bad Carney. [News.com.au]
• Blind item! "Which troubled starlet is getting over a bad breakup with a member of the same sex? We just hope the latter's current boyfriend doesn't get wind of the girl-on-girl shenanigans!" [Gatecrasher]
• "Trying to do an aggressive sex scene is quite difficult. Especially in a public place with a crowd of screaming extras with their little camera phones going click-click, talking pictures of your pasty white ass. I've had my fair share of bedroom antics in films, but they were a little more private." — Jason Statham. [Page Six]
• "I have made several mistakes and one of them was being overprotective of the girls, which has led to an impression that the school is isolating them from society. The majority of girls are thriving, really fulfilling the dream and vision I had. They really have exceeded any expectations I had for them. In spite of everything that's happened, what keeps me inspired and hopeful is the heart of every girl, because they are wonderful, they are magnificent." — Oprah, who has been defending the record of her school in South Africa. [USA Today]
• "He was in an Easter suit, with the Easter basket and the eggs and everything. Once you've seen Billy in a bunny suit, it's pretty hard to think of Easter in any other way." — Christie Brinkley on ex-husband Billy Joel. [Daily Express]
• "I wish I'd never worn an American flag motif swimsuit to the MTV Awards when I was in the Spice Girls. This was me hating myself and hiding under mountains of make-up." — Geri Halliwell. [Independent]
• "I don't think you ever retire from films - films retire you. Sometimes, if you're unfortunate, after your first film. What happens is you say 'I'm going to retire'. And then someone turns up and gives you this script. So you're not retiring. I don't have my next movie and I'm not looking for one. But someone will give me a script possibly and I'll work again. If someone doesn't give me a script that I want to do, I'll retire. But there won't be a great announcement or fanfare of trumpets. I just won't do anything. I'll stay at home and do what I always do, which is cooking, gardening and writing." — Michael Caine. [Daily Express]
• "I don't care. If I don't get food in my mouth, I'm still happy. If my pants are round my ankles, as long as I don't get arrested for indecent exposure, I'm happy. I'm worried about keeping my hair, not how it's combed. […] I don't know that [my kids have] ever seen Back To The Future all the way through. Just as Parkinson's isn't a big topic of conversation in my house, neither is my career. I go down to my office every day and they say, 'Dad's going to work.'" — Michael J. Fox. [Guardian]
• "Only 1,350 rockers were made, and we sold approximately 70 percent in the first two weeks. The collector's edition photo album has sold more the first week than any book we've sold at Cracker Barrel." — Cracker Barrel's VP of marketing on Dolly Parton's merch, which is flying out of stores. [Reuters]
• "I wish we could have shared a bed/but her life was not her own/That's what happens when you date a girl/from Driftwood Nursing Home." — from Bob Saget's comedy act. [NY Times]
• "What I love about Donna is she's never jaded. Donna can kind of go through anything and she still has that girlish quality about her. I think that's something she'd have at any age. That's Donna to me." — Tori Spelling on her return to 90210. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "It's not like we're not talking, we just haven't talked. I love my mother. I've always loved her [and] no doubt she loves me. There's no feud. We simply never meshed." — Tori Spelling. [People]
• "Chris [Martin] is a huge [Sherlock] Holmes nut. He said to me before filming, 'You've got to be gaunt. You've got to be as skinny as you possibly can to play Holmes.' So every time I'm reaching for a muffin I think about Chris and skip the snack. That's been tough." — Robert Downey Jr. [The Sun]
• "I know what you're saying, but it's not a character like in a book or a movie. He's not a bus driver. He doesn't drive a forklift. He's not a serial killer. It's me who's singing that, plain and simple. We shouldn't confuse singers and performers with actors. Actors will say, 'My character this, and my character that.' Like beating a dead horse. Who cares about the character? Just get up and act. You don't have to explain it to me." — Bob Dylan, in a rare interview. [Telegraph]
• "I knew I wanted to marry her pretty soon [after I met her]. It took a while for me to admit it, because it would be crazy to be like, 'I want to marry you' the first day I met her. But I could have!" — Chris Pratt on fiancée Anna Faris. [People]
• "I found I was really sleepy. I almost fell asleep during a Chris Rock show - live, front and center. I thought, 'I need to have a steak.' You have to do what works for you. Some people need meat." — Rachel McAdams, on why she's not a vegetarian anymore. [NY Daily News]
• "There was a television series that never got made by that woman who wrote that big role for Helen Mirren, Lynda La Plante. They wanted me to play – this is how they think of me – a woman who had been beaten up and degraded. I refused. I'm sure the British would not like to see me in a role like that. No way. [As for the film version of my life,] I hated the script. I thought it would be based on the book and not just made up. I had a long talk with my friend, the actress Carrie Fisher, about it and she said: 'You might think you were degraded enough but believe me, for Hollywood not nearly enough. There has to be prostitution, there has to be murder.' So I took it back." — Marianne Faithfull. [Daily Express]

[Brentwood, April 5. Image via Flynet.]

• Madonna is making moves in Malawi: This picture at the link shows 4-year-old Mercy, the girl she's trying to adopt, holding hands with possible new sister Lourdes. [Daily Mail]

• Oprah faces yet another scandal involving her Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa; seven students allegedly engaged in "inappropriate behaviors." [Socialite Life]
• This report says that even though girls at Oprah's school were expelled, this is not a sex scandal. [MSNBC]
• Lisa Ling's sister Laura and another journalist being detained in North Korea are headed for a trial on the basis of "already confirmed suspicions," which doesn't sound good. [People]
• Bridget Moynahan is furious with Gisele Bundchen for telling Vanity Fair she loved Tom Brady's son like he was her own. Someone close to Bridget says: "If Gisele loved Bridget's child like he was '100 percent her own,' then she would not talk about him in the press. Discretion and respect are not either of Gisele or Tom's virtues, as was evidenced even when the child was still unborn and they publicly flaunted their relationship without any discretion whatsoever." [Page Six]
• Kate Moss is supposedly in New York to open the new TopShop here and OMGCLOTHESOMG. [Daily Mail]
• Shocker: Britney's Candie's ads have been Photoshopped! Won't someone think of the children? [Daily Mail]
• Josh Holly, the dude who hacked into Miley Cyrus' email and had his apartment raided by the FBI back in October is still being investigated. Special Agent Scott Augenbaum says: "We're still working on it. He hasn't been arrested." Guess what Holly has been doing in the meantime? Hacking celeb MySpace accounts and spamming their "friends." [E!]
• Speaking of Miley, she looks ever so uncomfortable on the May cover of Glamour. [Just Jared]
• Stephen Colbert is warning NASA to name a new wing of the international space station after him or he will "seize power as space's evil tyrant overlord." [CNN]
• Holy crap yay! Taye Diggs and Idina Menzel are expecting their first baby! [Socialite Life]
• Singer Natalie Cole is in desperate need of a kidney; she went on Larry King last night to talk about it and dozens of emails came in, with offers from people saying they would get tested to see whether their kidney could be donated. Sometimes TV redeems itself. [CNN]
• In this photograph, Robert Pattinson looks like a folkie singer with long hair and a guitar. Scarier than a vampire? [E!]
• Kelly Rowland has left Columbia Records, the label she's been with since her Destiny's Child days. Good luck out there! [E!]
• American Idol's emo musical theater rocker, Adam Lambert, has a fan in Neil Patrick Harris: The How I Met Your Mother Star was in the audience last night and says, "No male in this competition has sung so well. He really hit those notes." [E!]
• A TV station in Panama City, FL decided that Osbournes: Reloaded was "not keeping with community standards" and declined to air the show after American Idol. [E!]
• A sneak peek at the new Sherlock Holmes flick: "Leave it to Robert Downey Jr. to turn Sherlock Holmes into a wisecracking action hero who ends up handcuffed naked to a bed." [Yahoo News via AP]
• Rachel McAdams says filming the Sherlock Holmes movie was "cold and dirty." "The 1800s were kind of dirty, I realized. I didn't think about that before." [Mirror]
• Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani will never collaborate musically: "We come from such band mentalities that it's something we've really done well to avoid," Gavin says. [Mirror]
• Dreamworks animated flicks like Kung Fu Panda and Monsters Vs. Aliens will be shown on FX, thanks to a deal between the channel and the distributor. [USA Today]
• Star Jones says her mind and body are not in sync: I'm still 300 lbs. in my head some days," she told Oprah. [People]
• Wanda Sykes and the Fox network are finalizing a deal for a Saturday late-night show. Bring it! [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• Some Slumdog Millionaire DVDs were released without the "making of" feature and "deleted scenes," which were advertised on the box. Buyers are bitching to Amazon about it; Amazon is blaming Fox. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Pedro, a film about the HIV positive Real World castmember Pedro Zamora, premieres tonight on MTV and LOGO. [LA Times]
• The Seattle home where Jimi Hendrix grew up has been destroyed; preservation efforts failed. [Mirror]
• Liam Neeson has completed Chloe, the film he was working on when his wife Natasha Richardson died. [CBS News]
• R.I.P Andy Hallet, who played the demon Lorne on Angel. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Blind item: "Which Academy Award winner, who constantly denies his philandering ways, was outed after sleeping with a publicist who blabbed to everyone?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I'm going to get smashed after doing this." — Ed Westwick, at the Dressed To Kilt show, before which he apparently stripped down to his underwear in a corner to change into his kilt. [Gatecrasher]
• "I break down a couple of times a week, at least. It gets overwhelming. Sometimes I think that I can't take this anymore. I just want to live a normal life. Olivia [Palermo] kind of mothers me and looks at me as a pet project…I'm not some country bumpkin. I'm from Los Angeles." — Whitney Port on The City. [Page Six]
• "If women look like her, that would be the perfect world. She doesn't need to change anything. Who likes stick skinny girls? Where's the flavor? Whoever likes those stick skinny girls never had sex before in their life." — Dancing With The Stars' "star" Gilles Marini, on people talking about Cheryl Burke's weight gain. [E!]
• "I want my dogs to be in my wedding, I am so serious." — Jennifer Hudson. [Mirror]
• "Girls are scary. Large groups of girls scare the (crap) out of me." — Kristen Stewart. [USA Today]
• I haven't read the books, but I saw the movie… I thought the movie was really bad." — Whitney Port, on Twilight. [Perez]

• Reports of LeAnn Rimes cheating on her husband, Dean Sheremet, just got juicier: Sheremet's family members called in to a radio show this morning to announce that he is gay. [Perez Hilton]

• Originally a spokesperson for the ski resort where Natasha Richardson was fatally injured said she was walking around and laughing after the fall and went to the hospital an hour later. Paramedics say they saw her sitting on a stretcher and were sent away. She was taken to the hospital three hours later. [TMZ]
• You can watch Lindsay Lohan's new Fornarina commercial here. For some reason it reminds us of Barbie and the Rockers. [Just Jared]
• Lindsay says of Britney Spears: "She's marketed as an entertainer, which is what she is. Not necessarily as, like, an artist. And I respect that about her, cause she doesn't want to pretend." [Jossip]
• Lindsay is having a hard time trying to rustle up work these days. "It's scary when you realise, 'Oh my God, I'm not working'. And have a house to pay for now," she says. Lindsay added: "I'm talking to (lots of people). One is Sean Penn - I spoke to him the other day. We're trying to get Seth Rogen for this project, but Seth won't call us back." [The Mirror]
• Lindsay may not have a job but she just bought a new Maserati. [Perez Hilton]
• A source claims that model Natasha Ellie is the woman who sent Chris Brown a text message the night of the assault, not his manager. Supposedly lyrics to Rihanna's song "Emergency Room" is about Rihanna discovering Chris was cheating on her with Natasha. [Hollywood Rag]
• Doug Reinhardt has asked Paris Hilton's father Rick for her hand in marriage and will presumably propose soon. The couple have been dating since last month. [Hollywood Rag]
• Fred Durst is still talking about his brief relationship with Britney Spears. He says: "I just guess at the time it was taboo for a guy like me to be associated with a gal like her." [People]
• Kelly Osbourne just left rehab a few weeks ago and says this is the first time she's been clean since she was a teenager. "I had my tonsils taken out [at age 13], and they gave me liquid Vicodin," said Osbourne. "I found, when I take this, people like me. I'm having fun, I'm not getting picked on. It became a confidence thing." [Just Jared]
• Vanessa Hudgens is "clearly the man in the relationship" because she pumped gas while Zac Efron sat in the car. [The Superficial]
• Ellen DeGeneres is going to be on the cover of O Magazine. Putting different people on the cover of a magazine? What's Oprah thinking? [Perez Hilton]
• In this video Ellen DeGeneres and Katy Perry sing "I Kissed A Girl." [Perez Hilton]
• Charlie Sheen can't tell his twins apart. "They're not identical, but at this stage, they're similar enough," says Charlie. He says he and his wife picked the names Max and Bob because they "are very short and simple - easy to spell and remember ... Bob is the same frontward and backward. I'm a fan of a short and simple name." [The Star]
• Gwyneth Paltrow says she's feeling "mother guilt" because she has to take her kids out of their London home for her Iron Man 2 shoot. She says: "I barely ever do films, I'm with them almost all the time. But in a way it makes the transition harder. I feel like if I worked all the time, then they would be used to it. But when I'm always there and always doing the school runs and I'm always around and then I just disappear for 14 hours a day to film, it's hard." [The Daily Express]
• It's pretty clear where Suze Orman wants the profits from George W. Bush's book to go. She said she wants to tell the former president: "You blew up every single financial vessel we had and if you think you aren't personally responsible, well, the blame starts at the top. There is no higher top than you, SIR! If I were you, I would feel so absolutely horrific that I would take every penny I had and distribute it to anybody and everybody to help them in whatever way I could. You owe the American people every penny of your fortune and your family's fortune." [Perez Hilton]
• Years ago, James Toback directed the film Black and White, in which Robert Downey, Jr. hits on Mike Tyson. Before the shoot, which took place soon after Downey got out of rehab, RDJ found out Toback hadn't told Tyson about the scene. Toback recalls: "Downey said, 'What if he gets angry? I said, 'I would assume he would.' He said, 'How far do you want me to take it?' I said, 'Take it until he responds in the extreme.' Downey responded, 'What if he kills me?' I said, 'Well, I haven't thought about that. I think it's unlikely-no better than a 5% chance.' But, at the rate you're going, you're going to end up dying in the parking lot of a motel in Culver City. So what would be better ... that or dying like this?"" [Black Book]

• Shh! Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson went on some kind of super secret date in Paris. Don't tell!

As you may recall, Owen and Kate were an item in 2006; she broke up with him in 2007 and he allegedly attempted suicide shortly after. [The Sun]

• Is it possible to resign from the human race? Nadya "Octomom" Suleman was offered $1 million to make a porn flick. [TMZ]
• By the by, Nadya Suleman told Dr. Phil that the hospital may not release her kids unless she can prove she can care for them. [LA Times]
• Warren Beatty wants Lindsay Lohan to star in a film he's working on, and to live in his house. Here's to hoping she plays his daughter and not his love interest. [Fox 411]
• There's a warrant out for the arrest of Adnan Ghalib: He's charged with assault with a deadly weapon, battery, and hit and run. And awful facial hair. [TMZ]
• The LAPD is still "vigorously" investigating how that picture of Rihanna was leaked to TMZ. [E!]
• Chris Brown is reportedly taking anger management classes. [Gatecrasher]
• Alex Rodriguez just found an apartment on Manhattan's Central Park West, two blocks from Madonna's home. Be careful: Jesus is watching! [Page Six]
• This was bound to happen: Slumdog, the musical. Proceeds would help fund Mumbai's destitute kids. [Hindustan Times]
• It's cool that housing officials in Mumbai plan to give the Slumdog kids' families some free apartments, even if it is a publicity stunt, but you've got to imagine that the kids friends and cousins are like so, so jealous, no? [The Sun]
• If you were watching the Oscars in Asia, the words "gay" and "lesbian" were censored. Gay Asians are pissed! [AP]
• Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes is going to be a gay ol' time: Apparently Holmes and Watson share a bed. Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law under the covers! [News Of The World]
• Finding Nemo vet Ellen DeGeneres will do another animated flick, Dog Show. Robert Downey Jr. and Tina Fey are the lead voice actors. The plot? A stray dog and her misfit friends "shake up the purebred world" of a Westminster-like dog show. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Will Iman pop up on Project Runway? [Page Six]
• Jay-Z and Khloe Kardashian had drinks and Jay left a $2000 tip. Klassy! [Page Six]
• Chow Yun Fat had eyelid surgery? He says: "As I grew older, my eyelids began to droop. I began going for cosmetic surgery in Hong Kong when I was filming The God Of Gamblers in 1989. If you go to Hong Kong for cosmetic surgery, I can introduce you to the doctor. He's cheap and good." Uh, thanks? [Straits Times]
• A TV commercial in China has David Beckham "talking" about an anti-impotence drug and saying, "It's the secret weapon with which I can satisfy Victoria." They're using celeb faces without permission. [Daily Mail]
• Eartha Kitt was nowhere to be found in the "In Memoriam" section of the Oscars. A fan contacted her rep, and her rep responded: "It was noticed and I'm handling it the best I can. Please continue to send your thoughts to ABC and SAG." [ONTD]
• Eartha Kitt's publicist tells Page Six: "It's clear that [Oscars producers] thought that publicist Warren Cowan was more of a household name." [Page Six]
• Robert Pattinson had better "watch out," because Taylor Lautner, the Twilight/New Moon werewolf Jacob Black, is a "hunk." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Evan Rachel Wood will play Juliet. In Romeo And Juliet. On the stage in Theatre In The Park in her hometown of Raleigh, North Carolina. Congrats? [Mirror]
• Pictures of Lily Allen dressed as a panda and a baby bird just make you like her more. [The Life Files]
• OMFG: Gossip Girl will return to the CW in the fall! So will One Tree Hill, 90210, Smallville, Supernatural and America's Next Top Model. Fate undecided: Privileged. [Reuters]
• Guests were "encouraged" to wear pink at Paris Hilton's second birthday party of the year. [Page Six]
• Jimmy Fallon on Late Night: "I have a realistic attitude about all this. People are going to see me who are awake at 12:30. College kids and prison guards." [The Daily Beast]
• Apparently Simon Cowell's comment about wanting to be frozen after death was a joke. [AP]
• Tiger Woods is talking about being lucky to get to stay home with his wife and kids while recovering from a knee injury and holy crap his daughter is adorbs. [People]
• In Amy Adams's next film, Sunshine Cleaning, she plays a single mom who cleans up crime scenes to make enough money to send her kid to private school. Oh, and she wears $100 jeans. [USA Today]
• Tommy Hilfiger's new wife is three months pregnant. (Tommy's daughter Ally is about to turn 24.) [Page Six]
• LOL: Keith Richards is telling people to sober up? [Page Six]
• Sandra Bullock stopped by Briarcrest Christian School in Memphis to research her role for The Blind Side, a film about a student who left his impoverished life and went to live with a wealthy couple, going on to become a successful football player. [UPI]
• By the by, Sandy Bullock sleeps with three dogs in her bed. [Page Six]
• The Killers are countersuing a former manager in Nevada federal court; both sides seek millions. [USA Today]
• Craig Bierko maybe dated Meg Ryan, Charlize Theron and Gretchen Mol. He definitely had something going on with Janeane Garofalo; he calls her "he" and she calls him "she." [Village Voice]
• If you want to read Mike Leigh's Oscar diary, it is here. [Guardian]
• The lead singer of the Bare Naked Ladies has resigned in a "mutual agreement." [ONTD]
• Blind item: "Which rock star has extra-special house parties? Guests check their clothes at the door, don a robe and indulge in huge bowls of every drug you can imagine." [Gatecrasher]
• "Like we've always said - someone that's good to our Mom, that's very important. And someone that has a good sense of humor." — Nick Jonas, on what kind of girl he and his brothers want. [Mirror]
• "She is pathetic now. Madonna used to be a symbol of rebellion in the '80s, someone who was against religious orthodoxy. Now we have this Madonna who is always preaching kabbalah, trying to teach people how to live their lives" — Camille Paglia in Brazil's Veja magazine. [Page Six]

• Ladies and gentlemen: Mickey Rourke is reportedly dating Courtney Love, and has been for a few weeks. Somehow this makes perfect sense. [Telegraph]

• Prince Harry needs some sensitivity training, ASAP. He allegedly told a comic named Stephen Amos: "You don't sound like a black chap." Amos says: "I wanted to say, 'How is I supposed to sound?'" Feel free to *headdesk*. [The Sun]
• Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have worked out a custody deal and the kids will be joining Brit while she's on tour. She's going to rent a few homes — in New Jersey and in New Orleans — and K-Fed has the greenlight to stay there in order to minimize travel. It's daddy day care! [Yahoo News via E!]
• Ew, Adnan Ghalib was recently overheard saying: "I still love Britney. I'm her boyfriend. Britney has a beautiful soul. We share something really special. The truth about us will come out eventually, but it's not for me to talk about. I love her." By "dating" does he mean "sending text messages which her dad deletes"? [ONTD]
• Was Leona Lewis the reason Chris Brown and Rihanna were arguing over the weekend? A source says Rihanna saw them flirting… [Star]
• Apparently Rihanna's 911 call is mostly audio of a woman screaming. [Daily Mail]
• Rihanna's grandmother says: "I don't want people to worry. Rihanna is fine and she is doing well." [Nation News]
• Okay, so here's why Chris Brown is being charged for "criminal threats" (a possible nine year sentence) and not domestic violence (four years): He put his hands around Rihanna's neck and said, "I'm going to kill you." [E!]
• You know that Chris Brown is being represented by Mark Geragos, right? The same lawyer who lost Winona Ryder's shoplifting case. He did get Robert Blake acquitted, but he also repped Scott Peterson, who is on death row for killing his wife. [Fox 411]
• The subject of the octuplet mom's resemblance to Angelina Jolie made the cover of OK!. More on this in Midweek Madness. [MSNBC Scoop]
• These "lipstick sculptures" of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie look nothing like them. [Grazia]
• French First Lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy in on her first trip as a goodwill ambassador for the Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria. She's in Burkina Faso today, meeting with mothers and children infected with HIV. [AFP]
• Leonardo DiCaprio was presented with an International Green Award by none other than Mikhail Gorbachev yesterday. What did you do? [Gatecrasher]
• Prepare yourself: Madonna and Demi Moore are teaming up to co-host an Oscar party. Do you have to be a foxy older lady to get in? [E!]
• By the by: Madonna's Sticky & Sweet summer tour in Europe is already all sold out. [Perez]
• Robert Downey Jr goes off on a shrub, a la Christian Bale, sorta. [Reelz Channel]
• For crying out loud, can't Jessica Simpson have a couple of beers without people writing that she didn't "seem too concerned about her weight" ?!?!?! [Page Six]
• Osbournes: Reloaded is the new variety/comedy show from The Osbournes, and there's a video preview up now. Pranks, sketches and weird dares, all with adorable accents! [Rolling Stone]
• Diablo Cody's United States Of Tara has been picked up for a second season. [Variety]
• Angela Bassett wants to play Michelle Obama, not that there's a movie in the works or anything. [Telegraph]
• Federal prosecutors want a judge to revoke Joe Francis's bail as he awaits trial; he's on house arrest, but that means he gets to watch Girls Gone Wild DVDs right? [AP]
• Forbes has named "Hollywood's Most Bankable Stars" and Will Smith is number one. Johnny Depp and Leonardo DiCaprio follow closely, and Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are right behind. [Reuters]
• Daniel Dae Kim, aka Jin from Lost, is spilling secrets: The Smoke Monster will be unveiled! [AP]
• Yay! Ugly Betty is thisclose to getting renewed for a fourth season. Raise your hand if you need more Wilhelmina, Marc and Amanda in your life. [EW]
• Kevin James, Chris Rock, Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider and David Spade may star in a comedy about five best friends from high school who reunite 30 years later on a Fourth of July weekend. Not to be confused with Paul Blart Mall Cop 2: Electric Boogaloo. [Variety]
• Anthony Hopkins and Josh Brolin will star in a Woody Allen film; the plot is under wraps. [Variety]
• Elaborate, tangled negotiations behind the Sundance hit Push — based on the novel by Sapphire — will make your head spin. The Weinsteins are involved. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Here's a picture of Bee Gee Robin Gibb, who got his housekeeper pregnant, standing with his wife, Dwina. The housekeeper just gave birth and the baby's name is Snow Robin; Gibb says "New life is heaven-sent and is a blessing. That's what I can say about children and life." What do you say about cheating on your wife? [The Sun, Daily Mail]
• Breaking: John Cleese seen with "mystery redhead." [Daily Mail]
• First of all, Gretchen Mol and her son are on the cover of Cookie. Second of all, her son's name is Ptolemy. Third of all, she says: "When he's having a tantrum, I am not going to look it up in a book and say, 'Okay, 14 months old? Check.' I just deal with whatever is thrown at me." [People]
• Blind item! "Which hard-partying starlet lost her virginity to her best friend's stepdad?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Watching David Letterman after 9/11, I was like, 'Wow, that's exactly how I feel.' And hopefully I can be a voice of America like that; hopefully people will say, 'I wonder what Jimmy Fallon thinks.' When it's like, 'Jimmy Fallon's a douchebag,' what am I gonna do? I don't wanna be one. But I don't know what to do differently to make that guy like me." — Jimmy Fallon, in W. [Page Six]
• "I actually made the choice to be straight as a kid. Early on I knew [being gay] wasn't gonna fly. No way. And from the teachers and church and all it was, This is wrong! What's wrong with me? And you pray and ask God to take it away, and you bury it and bury it, and you shut that part of yourself off. Then you try to live the life that you're supposed to live." — Wanda Sykes, in an amazing interview with The Advocate. [ONTD]
• "I was out at work, I was out to my family, I was out to my friends. I lived my life as a lesbian. But because I'm a celebrity I have to do this additional step, which is to tell total strangers that I'm a lesbian. I didn't know it would be this liberating. I hate identifying myself as a celebrity… I'm still not there. I'm a closeted celebrity." — Wanda Sykes. [ONTD]
• "I read the instructions, which is like you've got to put your top five in order and if the number one that you've chosen isn't really doing very well, then they move on to your number two and include that with the one that is doing well, if you see what I mean. I did get a say on that form. I got to put a vote in. I voted for Mickey Rourke. Isn't he great in that film?" — Chris Martin, on "helping" wife Gwyneth Paltrow cast her Oscar ballots. [Telegraph]
• "I do a lot better if I sit around and think about a character for a couple of months. Before I climb into him for a run, I've just sat on my ass thinking about him, just reading, plodding around my house, driving my girls to school, fixing eggs. Like that. There's not a lot of transformation in it. I'm still just a driver to my children." — Clive Owen, from a feature in Esquire with lovely photos. [Esquire]
• "She has the potential to be the greatest artist of all time and, in that sense, I feel like that's my baby sis and I would do any and everything to help her in any situation. I don't want to speak more into the specifics with that situation, but all I'll say is it's just so devastating. I feel like, just as a person, I don't care how famous she is or even if she just worked at McDonald's, that should never happen. It should never come to that place." — Kanye West on Rihanna. [Concrete Loop]
• "I'm not that big a fan of marriage as an institution and I don't know why women need to have children to be seen as complete human beings" — Marisa Tomei to Manhattan. [Page Six]

• Updates on the Chris Brown and Rihanna incident:

He is holed up in a Hollywood hotel; she is perhaps more seriously injured that originally reported — she has bite marks on her skin. She's supposed to be playing Malaysia on Friday but may cancel and head to Barbados, where she was raised. [E!, USA Today]

• Rihanna is now out of the hospital and has postponed her concert in Malaysia. Also, the charges filed against Chris Brown — suspicion of making criminal threats — means the victim "is in fear for [his/her] life." [Yahoo News via E!]
• This report claims Rihanna suffered tow "huge contusions" on her forehead as well as a bloody lip and nose. [TMZ]
• A cop called the injuries "horrific." [NY Daily News]
• Oh no: Is it true that Rihanna will not file criminal charges against Chris Brown and is no longer assisting investigators? [Media Take Out]
• No, this report says she is cooperating with the LAPD. [UPI]
• When Chris Brown was on Tyra, he talked about his abusive stepfather and said, "I would never hurt a woman." [Perez]
• Chris Brown has pulled out of his scheduled appearance at Sunday's NBA All-Star Game. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Chris Brown's career may be over, since he was known for a squeaky-clean image. [AP]
• The LA Times is defending it decision to out Rihanna as the victim of Chris Brown's domestic violence case. A reporter explains: "The Times has a blanket policy when it comes to not naming victims of sexual assault. There isn't a set policy when it comes to physical assault or a criminal threat. In that case, there's a decision internally and on a case-by-case basis of whether to name somebody. In this case, obviously there was a discussion among the editors about this. The nature of this case - against the backdrop of the Grammy's, the delay in changing things, the explanations put out by both camps - the decision was made that this was fair game." [E&P]
• Wow. Britney Spears has rehired her former assistant, Felicia Culotta, who was with Britney for years and is a true friend. Good news. [Perez Hilton]
• Before the Baftas, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie didn't have dinner at one of London's "posh" restaurants but chose a 40-seat "local curry house" instead. Claudia Schiffer and Robert Downey Jr. were also there, and the group ate vegetable samosas, tandoori lamb chops and the house special, lamb passanda. [Telegraph]
• When Brad and Angie got home the kids were "running up and down the hallway" at the hotel and guests had complained about the noise. How much do you want to bet Maddox was the instigator? [The Sun]
• Tomorrow is the big day: Jennifer Aniston turns 40! [NY Daily News]
• Miley Cyrus has issued a real apology for that racially insensitive picture in which she was seen slanting her eyes. Unlike last time, she uses the word "sorry." [Perez]
• Lily Allen is in the U.S. to promote her album! She'll do Today, The Tonight Show and visit with Oprah and Ellen. Will she show off her third nipple? [Mirror]
• Why won't Gwyneth Paltrow walk the red carpet with Chris Martin or have their pictures taken as a couple? "It's cheesy," she says. "I mean, who wants to live like that?" [Fox 411]
• After the Grammys, Chris Martin stayed out partying and Gwyneth was nowhere to be found. [NY Daily News]
• Ben Affleck wants a son he can dress in Red Sox gear. [Mirror]
• Is Guy Ritchie moving to New York to be closer to his kids? [Mirror]
• Christian Bale's sister Sharon has heard the audio of his rant on the set of Terminator and says: "He seems to be incredibly stressed and angry at the moment. I think he might need help." She's reminded of last summer's incident in a London hotel, when Bale "attacked" her and their mother. "He verbally attacked us," Sharon claims. "He spoke in the same aggressive way he did to that lighting engineer. I wouldn't have minded so much but it was in front of my family and three children." [National Enquirer via Telegraph]
• Hmm, seems like Cate Blanchett will play Maid Marian in Ridley Scott's Robin Hood movie — the role Sienna Miller was "too young" for. Not-exactly-nimble Russell Crowe is the leading man. [Variety]
• Heath Ledger fans would like to see the character of The Joker retire from film, so that Ledger's portrayal is the final word. One fan explains: "We think this psycho in scarred whiteface is the best ever. No one can improve it. So please, Hollywood, use other enemies in the sequels to come." [Wired]
• Apparently Paris Hilton told Paul McCartney she'd love to do a duet with him. She also said of his hair: "It's just like in The Beatles. It's so cute." She must be stopped. Why does she even get invited places? [The Sun]
• Mickey Rourke tried to hook up with an actress named Abi Titmuss after the Baftas; she had to tell him: "No, I won't be sleeping with you tonight, Mickey." Also: Rourke took a sleeping pill before the awards to "calm his nerves" and was seen staggering around with a champagne bottle. [The Sun]
• Mickey Rourke's speech at the Baftas: "Salty." He said: "Thank you to BAFTA, to Optimum Pictures, to Fox Searchlight, to [director] Darren Aronofsky, who gave me a second chance after I fucked up my career for 15 years... I want to thank my agent, who put his career in jeopardy by representing me several years ago, David Unger... I want to thank my publicist, Paula Woods, for having the hardest job in show business — telling me where to go, what to do, when to do it, what to eat, what to dress, what to fuck… Oh God, it's such a pleasure to be here and be back out of the darkness." [UPI]
• For his flick The International, Clive Owen had to run through a busy market in Istanbul with a gun in his hand because they couldn't get permission to shut the market down. He says: "I had a security guy very close to me but some of the reactions were pretty shocking. People would see the gun and just laugh. If it was New York or London I'd be put up against the wall if I was running through the streets with a gun - no matter who I was." The Turkish were unfazed. [Daily Express]
• Fatherhood is Clive Owen's favorite role right now, you guys. Read about how his daughters are obsessed with Friends. [USA Today]
• Speaking of Clive, he stars with Julia Roberts in Duplicity, and this article is about her return to the screen as a leading lady. [NY Times]
• Kylie Minogue, her sister Dannii and Natalie Imbrugllia will host a benefit show in London for the victims of the Australian bush fires. [This Is London]
• Fore! Samuel L. Jackson has signed on to narrate a documentary about African-American pioneers in golf. [Daily Express]
• Congrats to Kelis, who is pregnant; her husband, rapper Nas, is the father. [Mirror]
• DMX is in jail but has threatened to fight the guards, saying he would "assault somebody to get some respect." He also announced: "Y'all gonna make me lose my mind up in here." [TMZ]
• ABC will film Siegfried & Roy's final farewell performance for a special edition of 20/20. We have a feeling the "one-night, one-time illusion" will probably involve them disappearing. [UPI]
• Oh dear: the original cop is suing the Village People. Insert "Macho Man" joke here. [AP]
• Bob Marley's face on clothes, food and video games? [WSJ]
• Blind item! "Which beauty's marriage dissolved when she was caught having an affair with a man Down Under? Her husband wasn't bothered that she was pregnant with the other man's child - just that she was indiscreet." [Gatecrasher]
• "It stinks! Those boys are slovenly and have garbage and clothes everywhere. You'd think they were living in a frat house!" — An insider on the home of Gossip Girl's Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick. [NY Daily News]
• "If I waited too long, it's because we were supposed to do other things. If it is just too late? There are millions of children on this planet that I would be honored to call my own." — Sandra Bullock on being 44 and not having had a biological child. [People via InStyle]
• "[Kim's] the first girl that's ever cooked a meal for me. That's honestly how she got me - with the food! She cooked one of my favorite meals, cornbread, macaroni and cheese, candy yams and fried chicken and it was ridiculously good. My boys were there and the first thing they said was, 'she's a keeper!'" — Reggie Bush on Kim Kardashian's skills. [MSNBC via OK!]
• "I've been very lucky in the last few years, haven't I? I'm where I want to be, really, in terms of the opportunities I'm getting and the people I'm working with. If it keeps going like it is and I keep working with the caliber of people I've been working with, I'm just thankful." — Clive Owen. [USA Today]
• "My breasts, my face, liposuction, a tummy tuck, a leg lift. I've had everything you can think of except for my eyes and lips. I wouldn't touch them" — Sharon Osbourne on her plastic surgery to Ladies' Home Journal. [Page Six]
• "I have 10 songs, and three of them I think are really good. The others are pretty crap, but we're working on them." — Joaquin Phoenix, on his rap career. [MSNBC]
• "I love the storytelling aspects of hip-hop, but I love the wordplay, as well. I just think the rhyming is fantastic, and I love, like, the raw emotion of it." — Joaquin Phoenix. [AP]
• "I didn't actually lose it. But nobody knows where it is at the moment." — Angelina Jolie on her Oscar, which she gave to her mother; her mom died in 2007. [Variety]
• "I think you're born an artist. It's like being gay. You're born gay, and then you discover that's who you are over a period of time in a world where maybe being gay is not the normal thing. Then you look it in the eye and you say thank you, and you put it in your heart and you lock it up and you go. When you're 12 years old and making clothes with plastic flowers attached to them, and trying to choreograph shows at your school that are entirely too sexy — you start to be like, Okay, this is my aesthetic. My aesthetic is in so many ways exactly the same as it was when I was younger, I'm just smarter. And I know how to execute the ideas. And I have a bigger budget." — Lady GaGa. [EW]
• "I just don't feel that it's all that sexy. It's weird. And uncomfortable. I look at photos of myself, and I look like such a tranny! It's amazing! I look like Grace Jones, androgynous, robo, future fashion queen. It's not what is sexy. It's graphic, and it's art. But that's what's funny: Well, yeah, I take my pants off, but does it matter if your pants are off if you've got eight-inch shoulder pads on, and a hood, and black lipstick and glasses with rocks on them? I don't know. That's sexy to me. But I don't really think anybody's dick is hard, looking at that. I think they're just confused, and maybe a little scared. It's more Manson to me than it is sexy." — Lady GaGa. Click for more amazing quotes! [EW]

• Miley Cyrus is seen "slanting her eyes" in a picture that's been circulating on the web.

An Asian American advocacy group says she "encouraged and legitimized the taunting and mocking of people of Asian descent." What is it with these Disney stars? [Perez]

• Angelina, Brad and the brood will live in Brazil next. [The Star]
• Amy Winehouse wants to leave St. Lucia and go to Jamaica to record her album. But, as this paper points out, "her label is 'fully aware' Jamaica is awash with drugs like crack cocaine and cannabis." Didn't you think they just had lots of weed? [The Sun]
• Was Jennifer Hudson "singing" at the Super Bowl actually Jennifer Hudson lip-syncing to a backing track of herself singing? [EW, Independent]
• Jennifer Hudson will perform at the NAACP Image Awards on February 12. [People]
• MTV wanted the girls on The City to fake a physical fight at the DVF office. Tacky, tacky! [Page Six]
• Jennifer Connelly is on the March cover of Glamour looking stiff and glazed-eyed. Pretty hair, though! She says: "It’s been so long since I’ve dated that I don’t understand what’s going on anymore with things like Facebook and MySpace. A friend of mine wrote 'LOL' to me the other day. I thought she meant 'Lord, oh, Lord.'" [Just Jared]
• Michael Phelps knew that bong picture was coming out. A source says: "There was an effort to purchase it, there was even talk of him writing a sports column as well for a period of time to in exchange for not running it. But the News obviously knew what it had on its hands. They weren’t going to play ball." [MSNBC]
• Halle Berry's baby's first word? "It was probably 'dada,'" says baby daddy Gabriel Aubry. "She doesn't say 'dad.' She says 'papa,' which is the French version of it." Oh, and Halle and Gabriel want more kids: "She needs a sibling," Aubry says. "I think it's important." [People]
• Anne Hathaway's Oscar date? Her dad. "If I can squeeze a few more tickets, I'm going to see if I can take my brother and my mom. This is my first, maybe my only, time going. Hopefully not! My family is the most important thing in the world to me. I definitely wanted them by my side." [People]
• Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer spent Super Bowl Sunday together, hanging out with friends and watching the game. Snooze. [People]
• Faye Dunaway will guest star on Grey's Anatomy! [UPI]
• Katherine Heigl and her husband rescued a puppy in Mexico and he's freaking adorable. [Yahoo News via E!]
• You know how Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore were throwing things at the house next door, for undergoing noisy construction? "Internet hustler" Jason Calacanis is ripping them new ones. [Gawker]
• Oh: Ashton and Demi may adopt a child this summer! [MSNBC]
• Gwyneth Paltrow wasn't exactly thrilled with a "smutty" interview conducted by BBC1's Jonathan Ross. [Daily Mail]
• Spoiler alert! Click to find out what might be going down on a future episode of Lost. Sawyer's involved. [AP]
• Paris Hilton has purchased a £2 million home in London. You know she has a TV series, My British Best Friend, right? [Mirror]
• Paris hosted a Super Bowl party while her ex Benji Madden DJ'd. Awkward? Oh, and Paris maybe made out with Doug Reinhardt. [Perez]
• Mark Wahlberg and longtime girlfriend Rhea Durham — who have three kids — are planning a wedding. In a Catholic church. Is that kosher? [People]
• If you see Joe Francis of "Girls Gone Wild," let him know there's a warrant out for his arrest. Tax evasion case. [Reuters]
• Apparently the reason David Spade gets so many ladies is because he has a large dick. Try and erase that from your mind. [Perez]
• Chelsy Davy is not just a partying blonde: She has accepted a post at a law firm and will train as a solicitor later this year, after completing her degree. [Daily Mail]
• Those SNL "MacGruber" sketches that are also Pepsi commercials confuse some people. [AP]
• Vincent Gallo is selling a wallet that is "guaranteed" to get you laid. Cost? $750. [Page Six]
• Brunch with Sienna Miller involves dancing on the chairs. [Page Six]
• Blind items! "Which two Hollywood buddies should go home to their wives instead of partying together in New York clubs with bags of cocaine? . . . Which sitcom actor avoids socializing with industry professionals? Though his flamboyance is obvious, he stays in the closet with his close-knit - and tight-lipped - circle of gay friends." [Page Six]
• Why did Larry Birkhead bring Anna Nicole Smith's daughter Dannielynn to the set of Larry King Live? (She's cute though!) [Daily Mail]
• Slumdog Millionaire's Dev Patel was encouraged to get naked for teen drama Skins by his own mother. [Mirror]
• "Dozens" in Mumbai protested against Slumdog today. [Reuters]
• Pete Doherty is getting evicted from a nine-bedroom house because there's graffiti on the walls, stray cats and trash everywhere and, oh, yeah: The landlord feels he's turned the place into a drug den. [The Sun]
• Roman Polanski's lawyers have lost their bid to disqualify all L.A. judges from hearing his case; they claimed the entire Los Angeles Superior Court bench is biased against the director. The court has ruled that the hearing can go forward. [Variety]
• Bobby Brown's girlfriend is pregnant. It's his prerogative. He can do what he wanna do. [TMZ]
• Lionsgate pictures has acquired Sundance Film Festival winner Push: Based On The Novel By Sapphire, and Oprah and Tyler Perry will team up to promote the flick. The film's star, Mo'Nique, was honored with a special jury prize. The story revolves around an overweight, illiterate African-American teen in Harlem who's about to give birth to her second child when she is accepted into an alternative school. [Variety]
• Six Feet Under producer Alan Poul will direct Plan B, a film starring Jennifer Lopez as a single woman who meets the man of her dreams on the very day she conceives a child through artificial insemination. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Mel B. and Eddie Murphy seemed to have settled a "secret" legal battle over their daughter. Mel B had always said that Eddie didn't want a relationship with the child, but the agreement states that Eddie will not have custody, but will have visitation rights. [Mirror]
• Usher's Atlanta wine bar, Grape: squashed. [Perez]
• Congrats to David Eisenberg, Sex And The City's Steve, who, along with his wife, welcomed his first child on January 19. [E!]
• Erykah Badu and boyfriend Jay Electronica Twittered the birth of their baby girl over the weekend; Badu says it was home birth that lasted about five hours and that she didn't use painkillers. Ow. [USA Today]
• The late Keith Moon of The Who is being honored with a "blue plaque." [Independent]
• "I can't deal with actors. I can't deal with myself. We're neurotic and miserable... I love doing what I'm doing, but while I'm doing it, I'm miserable." — Viola Davis. [Yahoo News via E!]
• "It's impossible for me to rebel against my parents because they are such crazy people. I can't rebel against the normal things that people rebel against." — Lorcan O'Toole, whose father is Peter O'Toole and mother is Karen Somerville, an ex-girlfriend of the actor who worked as a model. [Telegraph]
• "I used to never even be able to see a boy. I didn't even know what a boy was. They were so foreign to me. I used to go roller-skating just so I could see the opposite sex. There was this boy... and he never asked me to backward couple skate with him. I was emotionally scarred by 11 or 12 years old." — Katy Perry. [Yahoo News via E!]
• "It's unfortunate. There's no one more disappointed about it than him… He's getting a lot of flack about it and it's really unnecessary." — Mark Wahlberg on the Jeremy Piven kerfluffle. [E!]
• "I don’t know. It was something about the way that we were together. He stood out to me as someone singular and rare and beautiful, and I liked the way he was in the world…. I liked the way he was with my son and the way he made me feel." — Jennifer Connelly on knowing Paul Bettany was The One, in Glamour. [Just Jared]
• "It's so funny to me that the role is a guy who is an Oscar-seeking moron. His whole motivation is Oscars. Irony is synonymous with pretty much everything that is going on." _-Robert Downey Jr., on being nominated for Tropic Thunder. [USA Today]
• "When you get to my age, you do running repairs. I had my fourth hair transplant as it means I don't have to wear wigs in a movie." — John Cleese. [Daily Mail]
• "One of the things I just loved about Liev right away was that he was so good with kids." — Naomi Watts. [People]
• "All the men want to be Don Draper, all the women want to fuck him. Everyone thinks he's the perfect man, and Pete Campbell is jealous of him. But Draper's completely incomplete, completely lonely, completely detached, completely alone. It's why he reaches out to all these women, it's why he needs to take charge in business, to belittle Pete. He's completely alone. Loneliness isn't a phase or a mood, it's a core condition of being and some of us deal with it better than others - build a family or make a million dollars. Or Draper, coming home to the empty house at the end of season one. That's a big theme of the show: unattachment, loneliness, distance." — from a worth-your-while interview with Vincent Kartheiser of Mad Men. [Guardian]
• "I wanted to have that big giant dance video moment. I wanted it to be plastic, beautiful, gorgeous, sweaty, tar on the floor, bad-ass boys, but when you got close, the look in everybody's eyes was fucking honest and scary." — Lady GaGa, on her new video, set in a subway station and deaturing "a menacing flock of bondage-loving biker-gang dancers." [EW]
• "Well here you have it. My final blog… Before I go, however, I must say that I received a text message from a very close and dear friend of Lindsay's who I trust and admire. The text said, 'between you and me you are doing the right thing. From what I hear, from Lindsay's nearest and dearest friends, Lindsay is worse off than ever since she she has been with Sam. I told Dina that Lindsay needs you back in her life, and I think you know that I was the one who really helped Linds get into rehab.' I was with Lindsay when she got out of Cirque Lodge. I saw and experienced the 'old Lindsay' with so much hope and promise. I had full confidence in her. Then back came Samantha! Can't you all see this? Am I speaking to stone walls? All I ask that you put your selves in my shoes and HONESTLY consider what you would do." — Michael Lohan. [Mike Lohan Online]
• "I get very emotional about these things, I discover. I think I'm not cut out for this. I'm too emotional to lose, and I'm too emotional to win." — Kate Winslet, on the Oscars. [Daily Mail]
• "I think with the success of a few big pictures like Mamma Mia! addressing an audience that, never mind being neglected, have been disdained in the boardrooms, there will be other films that target that audience. Mamma Mia! is that rare thing you can enjoy with your mother or your child, and its aim is only to make you happy." — Meryl Streep. [Mirror]
• "Fuck the haters! I saw this blog of people writing horrible things about me and for a second your ego is so wounded. How could people hate me, my intentions or what I’m trying to do? I’m a good person and I’m trying to put good things into the world." — Gwyneth Paltrow, on critics of her "lifestyle blog," GOOP. [Examiner]

• Kelly Osbourne checked into Oregon's Hazelden Alcohol and Drug rehabilitation center on Wednesday. Her mom, Sharon Osbourne, says:

"She knew that it was the right thing to do at this point and we're proud that she did it. The family is all standing behind her. Kelly knew that she needed help and she's getting it." [Star]

• This is 24-year-old Kelly's second time in rehab; she went when she was 18. [Daily Mail, The Sun]
• The SoHo apartment in which Heath Ledger died has yet to be rented. It's empty, and had been on the market, but was taken off last month. [UPI]
• Heath Ledger's sister says of her family: "We are still all nursing broken hearts. Like anyone who loses a family member, it has opened our eyes to the intense suffering and painful journey that is death." [People, News.com.au]
• During an Oscar Roundtable, Brad Pitt was asked if he Googles himself and said: "Dear God. No. Never. First of all, I don't really know how to operate a computer." But! Robert Downey Jr says: "Oh, I love all that shit, personally. Sorry. I love it. Because it's a hoot. Some people overstate their support, like they know you. Other people are busy doing something else and just want to go on this chat site and say some despicable character assassination, which I honestly think they kind of nailed it. I do have that shortcoming. It's really fun." [Perez]
• Mariah Carey was "furious" on inauguration day, because she was seated in the VIP section instead of with the Obama family. So she bailed on the ceremony. LOL. [Page Six]
• Engaged: Mad Men's Elisabeth Moss and SNL's Fred Armisen. That was quick! [Yahoo News via E!]
• Gisele and Tom Brady: Not engaged, despite persistent rumors. [NY Mag via Boston Herald]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony's marriage seems totally fine, despite all the rumors. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Someone's been spreading a rumor that Kanye West is going to do bisexual porn; Kanye says it's not true and "PLEASE I BEG YOU GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!" [ONTD]
• The appellate court has granted an emergency stay in Roman Polanski's sex abuse case; a proceeding scheduled for Wednesday has been postponed. [UPI]
• Kate Hudson is in the Rob Marshall film adaptation of the Broadway musical Nine, playing a fashion writer for Vogue. Hudson, who sings and dances and the flick, says: "I was taking dance since I was a little girl. So to do it with a choreographer like Rob, you could only hope to work with him. It's a childhood dream." [USA Today]
• Is David Beckham in love with Milan and hoping to stay in Italy forever? [Daily Mail]
• Pregnant Gossip Girl star Kelly Rutherford continues to spar with her estranged husband in court; the hubs wants custody because he says she's always working, and Rutherford counters: "If I'm being asked to choose my career over my son, I choose my son. [But] I need this job to pay my bills, legal bills, and [my husband] has offered no support." [People]
• A security gate fell on Tom Cruise's car at Heathrow airport, but Xenu made sure no one got hurt. [TMZ]
• Mickey Rourke is being offered $250,000 to play Crimson Dynamo in Iron Man 2. That's what's known as "lowballing." [Perez]
• Did anyone see Sigourney Weaver flash her underwear on The View? [Daily Mail]
• So you know how Sienna Miller is out as Maid Marian in Ridley Scott's Nottingham? Well Kate Winslet has passed on the role. An offer has gone out to Cate Blanchett, but she's expected to decline as well. Is it that no one wants to kiss Russell Crowe as Robin Hood? [Fox 411]
• By the by, Sienna Miller will make her Broadway debut in September, playing Miss Julie in After Miss Julie. [Daily Mail]
• Marisa Tomei met an exotic dancer named Misty when she was researching her role in The Wrestler and says even though she learned some pole dancing moves for the film, "I ended up not using all of them… I guess you can say I still have some tricks up my sleeve." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which d-bag actor beats his beautiful action-star girlfriend?" [Gatecrasher]
• Patrick Swayze and his wife of 33 years are working on a memoir together. [UPI, EW]
• "I am your father!" James Earl Jones is getting a lifetime achievement award at the SAG event on Sunday. Did you know he was one of the first black actors to play a president on film, in 1972's The Man? [USA Today]
• Lost's season premiere bombed, ratings-wise, with numbers down 25% from last season. [Fox 411]
• Simon Cowell fired Kelly Brook from Britain's Got Talent and is now apologizing and offering her a role on spinoff Britain's Got More Talent. Fun? [Daily Mail]
• Alex James from Blur says when he had a record label in the '90s, he didn't sign Coldplay becayse "they were ordinary." [The Sun]
• Prepare yourself for a new celebrity offspring in the spotlight: Simon Le Bon's daughter Amber is 18, gorgeous, leggy and ready to party. [Daily Mail]
• News you cannot use: Andy Dick is trisexual. "I'll try anything," he told Tyra Banks on an upcoming show. "I really have tried everything, except nothing with animals. There's only room for one animal - that would be me." [NY Daily News]
• SNL funnylady Kristin Wiig will appear on an episode of Flight Of The Conchords, playing a woman both Bret and Jemaine fall for! [Chicago Tribune]
• Ouch: Larry King lost over $1 million by investing with Bernard Madoff. [Page Six]
• Ugh, they're already casting for round two of Paris Hilton's My New BFF. As for the "winner" of the first season, a spy says: "Paris treats her BFF like an unpaid assistant." [Page Six]
• "A 50-year-old woman is equivalent to 40 when I was growing up. If you take care of yourself, 60 is nothing for women these days. In today's world you can be the kind of woman you want to be. I remember my grandmother wearing the apron and the hairdo, but that's gone. Believe me, that is totally finished." — Tina Turner. [Daily Mail]
• "I just hope I can stay famous enough for a little bit so someone rich will marry me. That’s all I really care about these days." — Lily Allen, who looks smoking hot in these pictures from Interview magazine. [Daily Mail]
• "I don't know if this film is going to help my box-office career. The fans who liked my earlier films, who watch films to escape and have some fun, this won't be their cup of tea. But I think I will gain a different kind of audience." — Jean-Claude Van Damme on JCVD. [Guardian]
• "There is a lot of whisper acting these days. Paul Giamatti in John Adams whispered most of his dialogue. Not to criticize him, but, one, I'm hard of hearing. And, two, voice is voice. Not aspiration. A whisper is a raspy sound. A voice is a full sound. Speech is a very important aspect of being human. A whisper doesn't cut it." — James Earl Jones. [USA Today]
• "I've got so many stunning girlfriends who can't get a boyfriend. But when I go out here, I get asked out all the time, and my girlfriends — who are better looking than me — say, 'How the hell does that happen?!' Maybe it's because I'm comfortable with myself." — Heather Mills, underminer. [Page Six]
• "YOOOO WHY WON'T YOU LET ME BE GREAT!!! I HAD THE TWO GREATEST DAYS OF MY LIFE AND WHEN I GET BACK FROM THE LOUIE SHOW I READ SOME SHIT CLAIMING I SAID I'M DOWN TO DO PORN AND SOME BISEXUAL PORN!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THE AVN WOULD POST FIRST PEOPLE BELIEVED THE TWITTER/STEVEN COLBERT THING, ROLLING STONE EVEN PRINTED IT!!!! NOW SOMEBODY HAS BEEN HACKING INTO MY MYSPACE AND SOMEBODY'S ACTUALLY HACKED INTO MY PERSONAL GMAIL ACCOUNT AND HAS BEEN EMAILING PEOPLE FROM IT... HEY WORLD I NO LONGER HAVE A GMAIL!" — Kanye West, naturally. [ONTD]

[New York, January 8. Image via INFDaily.]