Last night, luminaries gathered in Washington, DC for the 35th Kennedy Center Honors at the Kennedy Center. National treasures ahoy!

Alpha males Robert De Niro and Jay-Z's squabbling almost ruined Leonardo DiCaprio's birthday party for everyone. De Niro let Hova have it for mentioning that he'd be willing to record a song for the Tribeca Film Festival and then failing to return any of De Niro's calls to follow through. Jay-Z tried to joke about it…

"Magical," "unforgettable" and "fantasy" are just a few of the gushing adjectives used by Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake to describe their hella expensive Italian wedding (soup), even though not everyone was as happy (N*Sync was excluded from the 100-person guest list; they are "are pretty upset about it").…

Good thing you didn't hold your breath waiting for the sequel to the 2001 comedy Zoolander, or else we'd be saying your eugoogly right now (sorry). But Zoolander 2 is coming around the bend now, I guess, featuring the return of Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson as male models Derek (who actually resurfaced recently at The…

Contrary to yesterday's rumors, Robert Pattinson is not on a train, on a boat, on a plane, in a moat, or partying in London. He is, in fact, crouching behind some bushes in Reese Witherspoon's Ojai, California ranch (literal, not metaphor) until this whole "world knowing your girlfriend cheated on you" thing blows…

Because the world is a stupid garbage place, Robert De Niro has apologized for the joke he made Monday night at a presidential fundraiser, in which he questioned whether or not the country is "ready for a white first lady." Newt Gingrich was sooooooo personally offended by the public acknowledgement of racial…

When talking about her upcoming duet with Rihanna multi-tasker Katy Perry managed to throw a little shade Beyoncé and Shakira's way — and when I say " a little" I mean a lot — by viciously attacking their "Beautiful Liar" duet. "We've collaborated on a lot of things, but just not songs yet. It's one of those things…

• Ladies and gentlemen, Swiftenhaal is no more.

The film, starring Robert De Niro as a guy that old school Robert De Niro would have beaten up, beat out other, more worthy offerings to win the weekend. I quit, America. I just. Quit.

• You know how a ball drops in Times Square at midnight on New Year's Eve? This year, Snooki will be INSIDE.

"Insiders" report that Brit-Brit, devastated by abuse rumors about her boyfriend Jason Trawick that surfaced earlier this week, is going to show everyone by marrying him. Given her history of making great decisions, this can only end well.

Hey hey, everyone, it's time for SNL! Tonight's show features Robert DeNiro and Diddy-Dirty Money, the new musical project of one Mr. P. Diddy. Grab a mug of your favorite decaffeinated tea and let's watch.

Tonight brings us a brand-new SNL with Robert DeNiro and P. Diddy's new music group, Diddy-Dirty Money. Like always, the Jezebel open thread starts at 11:15 EDT, so stop in and see us.

• Britney Spears turned 29 yesterday, and took to Twitter to lash out at Star magazine for printing the domestic abuse story, to thank her fans for birthday wishes and make an announcement about new music.

[Rome, October 5. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• As part of Operation Cheating Never Happened, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore spent their 5th anniversary in bed and Tweeted a snuggly photo. [NYDN, Twitter]

• Unsolicited Uterus Update! Penelope Cruz is filming the new Pirates Of The Caribbean movie, and this paper claims that she seems to have "a bump beneath her rigging."