• Is Sean Penn the unofficial liaison between Barack Obama and Hugo Chavez? Penn visited Chavez in Caracas on Wednesday and apparently the Venezuelan president told him:

"They gave [Obama] the Nobel Prize — very well, now he should earn it." [Page Six]

• Britney Spears is using Twitter, Twitpic and Twitvid to promote her new single, "3" — there's a micro snippet of the video at the link. [LA Times]
• Ashton Kutcher's best friend is a rabbi named Yehuda Berg from the Kabbalah center. [People]
• Who will host the Oscars in 2010? Hugh Jackman has turned the job down. These are random choices, but I'd love to see Amy Poehler or Wanda Sykes. Or both. [Variety]
• Nanny Stephanie Santoro says that Jon Gosselin was suicidal at the thought of Hailey Glassman breaking up with him: "He said he was going to kill himself… He said he was going to end it all … he couldn't handle it anymore." Breakdown in 3…2… [Radar Online]
• Jon Gosselin plans to publicly apologize "in a sacred space to those whom I have hurt" at the West Side Synagogue in NYC on Sunday. [Page Six]
• Meanwhile, word is that Jon Gosselin/Nadya Suleman show is "definitely on." A source says:"Both Jon and Nadya are each looking at bringing in close to $1 million for doing it." [Gatecrasher]
• Did you see Derek Jeter kiss Michelle Obama the other night? [NY Post]
• Another day, another Michael Jackson money problem. This time it's Leonard Rowe, who says he was MJ's manager of the singer. He's filed a creditors claim for $51,218. [TMZ]
• Wow, John Landis — who directed the "Thriller" video — says Michael Jackson's estate owes him for $400,000; a production company which dealt with the "Thriller" video says it's owed more than $1,000,000; and the producer of the "Thriller" video wants more than a million as well. [TMZ]
• By the by, the Michael Jackson movie will be up for Academy Award consideration. [Mirror]
• Joe Jackson says Michael Jackson is "worth more dead than when he was alive." [NY Post]
• Taylor Squared: Going strong. [Page Six]
• Wait, what? Ne-Yo sings on The Princess And The Frog soundtrack? How very Jazz Age New Orleans. [ONTD]
• Amanda Peet was burglarized by a sassy character. [Page Six]
• Heroes is winding down; low ratings has NBC thinking a "final chapter" is the next way to go. [NY Post]
• Charlize Theron will star in Mad Max: Fury Road. That's right, a new Mad Max flick! No word on whether Mel Gibson is involved, but Brit cutie Tom Hardy is in the flick. [Variety]
• Reese Witherspoon will star in and produce a screenplay called Rule #1 — about a New York woman who befriends a Puerto Rican girl with attention deficit disorder. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• What the world needs now: Men In Black 3. [Reuters]
• David Spade got $200,000 for that Tommy Boy DirecTV commercial with the late Chris Farley. [Page Six]
• Sad face: Dennis Hopper has prostate cancer. He's canceling all travel plans to focus on treatment and is in a "special program" at USC. Be well! [AP]
• Jackie Collins listens to Mariah Carey, John Mayer… and Jay-Z. [Independent]
• "Whenever I'm in the recording studio or rehearsing and I'm not convinced about the way it sounds, I know because my body doesn't react to the music. So I always ask, Hey, am I moving? Are my hips moving? My hips don't lie." — One of 10 answers to 10 questions for Shakira. [Time]
• "I know it gets sensationalized when I say, 'I was very close to death', but I was. It was a scary time. It's scarier since people like Michael Jackson and Heath Ledger have been popping their clogs. pretty much thought 'Is this worth it?' It was obviously not making me happy. The definition of insanity is repeating the same things and expecting a different result. At the time I thought, with the kicking and the rehab, maybe there's other things in life?" — Robbie Williams. [News.com.au]
• "I haven't gone back since because I'm afraid… I'd never get sober for one thing, and to have to run around in a dress. . . it's cold up there!" — Mel Gibson on why he hasn't returned to Scotland since Braveheart. [Daily Mail]
• "When I did my first album, I was marketed as the singer who would appeal to your grandma. But as each record arrived with more power and confidence, I began to sound younger and younger. Some singers start out as young punks and then make a classics album later in their career. With me, it has been the other way round. I feel as if I've finally started acting my own age. I'm the Benjamin Button of pop. It offends me when people think I only listen to Frank Sinatra. I was born in 1975 and I never wanted to be part of the Rat Pack. As a kid, my biggest idol was Michael Jackson. As a teenager, I wanted to be one of the Beastie Boys." — MIchael Bublé. [Daily Mail]
• "I always felt like the male from the time I was a child. There wasn't much feminine about me. I believe that gender is something between your ears, not between your legs. That is something I discovered in the early '90s. It was just a long process of being comfortable enough to do something about it." — Chaz Bono loves being a man. [People]
• "I was tempted to do it. But I couldn't take it. One smoke of pot and I fall asleep. I don't get much out of it. But that's beside the point. My kids were saying, 'Daddy, you have to try!' That's when I shut down. These were mushrooms ... I said, 'Listen, I didn't go through a sex change operation to direct all these women's movies so don't get me started.'" — Ang Lee wouldn't take acid to direct an LSD scene. [Independent]
• "I just drank an iced tea here with lunch. If next year they say iced tea is worse than steroids, I'll probably quit drinking that too. But at the time it was legal, just like drinking an iced tea is legal. The baseball players, the football players, the hockey players - everybody I knew in every professional sport was using it to up their game, or to heal injuries, or to stay at their peak. And everybody thought it was safe." — Hulk Hogan talks about steroid use in his new book. [Time]
• "I hate them!" — Paris Hilton on the Teen Thieves, who stole clothes and jewelry from her home. [Page Six]
• "I have lots of original ideas that maybe will get made. But everyone... Even if you bring them the most obscure movie that nobody's ever heard of — they want to remake that." — Rob Zombie, who reworked Halloween and Halloween 2 and may remake The Blob, calls Hollywood a "scared town." [CNN]
• "America's the only country where people have said that the New Zealand accent sounds posh or sexy or exotic. Anywhere else, it doesn't. That's why I've been spending a lot of time here." — Flight Of The Conchords' Jemaine Clement. [NY Post]
• "As the mother of my kids, I won't slam Dina personally. But she has expressed to me that Lindsay is in dire, dire need of an intervention. And Lindsay needs to see that her mother is either lying to me or lying to her. Dina says positive things about Samantha when she's talking to Lindsay, but then when Dina talks to me, she blames Lindsay's downfall on the Ronsons. If Dina and her cohorts want to continue lying, I could [keep exposing her] for a year - on so many different subjects. My lawyers told me to keep every single conversation - and I did." — Michael Lohan is taking voicemail tapes to Entertainment Tonight. [Perez]
• "If I go back to my black neighborhood, they'll rob the [bleep] out of me." — Tracy Morgan, promoting his memoir, I Am the New Black, at Barnes & Noble. [Page Six]
• "I always felt that I wanted to help women, period. As a child I [saw] women really, really suffer terrible, terrible situations, and I vowed as a child to want to do something — anything — that can help them have better self-esteem so that they don't have to be subjected to men that wanted to kill them. In my music, that's what I've been doing in my career, and now through FFAWN I'm doing that. I guess what got me through when I was young was something I guess a lot of people don't have and that was just the will. ... I don't know what was driving me. I guess it was something in me did want to die — you know, I guess my spirit didn't want to die, but my physical body definitely was at some point was like I gotta get out of here. ... My physical body was contemplating suicide and all this other crazy stuff, and my spirit is what saved me, I believe." — Mary J. Blige, at the official ribbon-cutting for the Mary J. Blige Center for Women, which was made possible through Blige's Foundation for the Advancement of Women Now (FFAWN), design house Gucci and Westchester Jewish Community Services. [CNN]

• Oh no: It's Lindsay Lohan vs. Michael Lohan. Again. Papa Lohan claims he wants a conservatorship, like Britney Spears' dad. That way he can control LL (and her finances?). He says:

"If I can't get a conservatorship, then I'm going to take her to an undisclosed location and get her straight. But I know I'm going to get charged with kidnapping." According to Radar Online, LL plans to get a restraining order to keep her father away. And guess whose idea that was? "Dina is the one that told her to get a restraining order," Michael Lohan says. "But you know what? I'm still going to try to do everything with the courts to try and get Lindsay better." [MSNBC]

• Balthazar Getty and Lindsay Lohan? Seen "all over each other"??!?! [Page Six]
• Madonna made over $110 million last year, and her Ray of Light foundation is worth $6 million — but she only gave away $500,000 to charity. Some went to Raising Malawi — which this column points out is a front for the Kabbalah Center; some went to Kabbalah's Spirituality for Kids; some went to Jewish Big Brothers/Sisters of Los Angeles. Madonna did not donate any money to AmFar or any charity conducting AIDS research. [Showbiz 411]
• A source says Madonna and Guy Ritchie have unfinished business. "The truth is both Guy and Madonna are becoming more and more open in their admissions that in many ways they regret getting divorced… It's one of those rare situations where couples start to get on better once their marriage is over." [MSNBC via The People UK]
• A Swiss court has ordered Roman Polanski to stay in jail — and rejected an offer of bail — because the filmmaker poses a flight risk. [AP]
• Johnny Depp is joining his fave Brit band, Babybird, as a guitarist and has already directed the video for a new single. Who wants to go stand in the crowd and shout, "Play 'A Pirate's Life For Me'"? [The Sun]
• Justin Timberlake's mom seems to think he is still with Jessica Biel. When asked what kind of woman she wants to see her son with, Lynn Harless said: "The one he's with now is awesome." She also pointed out: "He's found someone that'll golf with him, give him a hard time when he deserves it and stand up to him." O rly? [Ok!]
• Officials from the Miss California USA pageant would like to have the money they gave Carrie Prejean for a breast augmentation back. [TMZ]
• DVR alert: Michelle Obama will be on The Jay Leno Show on Friday. [NY Daily News]
• At this link you'll see something you never wanted to see, and once you see it, you can't unsee it: Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman. Kissing. In a horse-drawn carriage in New York. [NY Daily News]
• Over the weekend, Jon Gosselin was at Central Synagogue's Values To Heal America event, getting advice from Newark Mayor Cory Booker, writer Elie Wiesel, CNN contributor Dr. Mehmet Oz, and TLC star Rabbi Shmuley Boteach. [Page Six]
• Poor Salman Rushdie! He survived a fatwa, but he misses Padma Lakshmi so much he can't stop talking about her. [Page Six]
• The creator of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition says he spoke with Balloon Dad Richard Heene about a possible reality show a month ago — a show in which the kids would chase storms — and the CEO says and Heene is a "liar." Heene said he hadn't pitched his show to anyone else, but he'd already met with TLC. [TMZ]
• "Balloon Dad's Wife Swap Costar Saw Temper." Sheree Silver lived with Falcon and his dad during filming and says he was like a "mad scientist" who would yell and scream at her. Silver says she tried making him his "space eggs" – yolks on top of the egg white – just like his wife. but when she cut into the yolk with her knife and fork, Richard yelled, "Oh my God. You just killed the mother ship." [People]
• John Mayer's birthday was a sausagefest, with Seth Meyers, Stephen Dorff and Jeremy Piven in attendance. Jennifer Aniston was nowhere to be seen. [Page Six]
• John Mayer is doling out advice to Tween Queens Miley Cyrus and Demi Lovato. [People]
• Russell Brand is getting Katy Perry a petting zoo of fake animals for her 25th birthday. In addition, the picture at the link reveals that he wears blue underpants from American Apparel. [The Sun]
• Dr. Nathalie Maullin, a psychiatrist who treated Anna Nicole Smith for drug dependency, testified that she tried to set up a program to wean the pin-up off prescription painkillers but found the her uncooperative and hostile during her stay in the hospital. [AP]
• The IRS is trying to get tax money from Anna Nicole Smith's estate — two and a half years after her death. [TMZ]
• Amy Winehouse's dad Mitch will speak to Members of Parliament about how drug addicts should be treated. He won't focus on his daughter but he will point out that there's a gap between celebrities who can afford to check into expensive rehab clinics like the one Amy was in — and regular people who cannot get help. [Daily Mail]
• Someone stole Michelle Trachtenberg's cab. Or vice versa. [Page Six]
• It's a fierce off! Catwoman Julie Newmar versus ANTM's Adrianne Curry as Wonder Woman. [Gatecrasher]
• Kylie Minogue's Bollywood debut has been panned by critics, who called her "as sexy as a fat housewife in a kaftan." Rude. [News.com.au]
• Good Hair will open nationwide on Friday, now that a judge has seen both Chris Rock's film and My Nappy Roots, which rock is accused of ripping off. The filmmaker of My Nappy Roots is prepared to go to trial, though: She wants $5 million in compensation and damages. [E!]
• Viggo Mortensen lost weight for his flick The Road, but after filming was over, he "went out and made a swine" of himself. [Mirror]
• Edward Furlong's estranged wife is seeking to dismiss the restraining order she had placed against him, saying, "We're actually friends… We're not having a bad divorce… We just ran into some issues." [People]
• Mel Gibson's son William Gibson is "appalled" by the humiliation of his mom what with Mel's divorce, Russian mistress, pregnancy, etc. So he's becoming a missionary in Africa. [MSNBC]
• On the subject of Mel Gibson, TMZ founder Harvey Levin is saying the Los Angeles County sheriff's department illegally obtained his phone records while it was investigating who leaked a report about Mel's 2006 DUI arrest and anti-Semitic rant. [AP]
• Mamie Gummer, daughter of Meryl Streep, is engaged to actor Ben Walker. [UPI]
• "An estimated 450 people attended a reception in Dublin following the private funeral and cremation of Irish pop star Stephen Gately, sources told the BBC." [UPI]
• Whatshername said something on TV that had to be edited out. [Daily Star]
• "People are alluding to the fact that I may have been high on something but I can only say I wasn't — because I wasn't. Unless someone spiked my drink and I would have noticed. I know what various drugs feel like. It's the same as the deer in headlights, the deer's not on anything other than fear. I'd had a few coffees before I went on, that's all." — Robbie Williams denies he was on drugs during a shaky appearance on The X Factor. [The Sun]
• "Hilary Swank… has been a good friend of mine for years, and we've always talked about working together. I suppose we kind of kept our eyes open for something. She called me about Amelia just as I arrived to start shooting I Love You, Phillip Morris, and we struggled for quite some time, but I really wanted to make it work dates-wise. So I literally made the two films at the same time, flying back and forth from Toronto." — Ewan McGregor. [Daily Express]
• "She is the only girl. It is the first Lowe girl born in 72 years. She's got a lot of doting uncles and cousins. She is beloved." — Chad Lowe on daughter Mabel. [People]
• "I love wearing high heels, I love wearing silk stockings and I love wearing hot pants. In those three, I feel like a Thirties tough girl. If I didn't look in the mirror, I might just mistake myself for Rita Hayworth or Marlene Dietrich. How great is that?" — Yoko Ono. [Daily Express]
• "I think when the stars are aligned ... and all five of us have our heads on straight and know the direction we're going as a band, it'll eventually happen. If not, I know we'll be best friends forever." — Chris Kirkpatrick actually thinks there might be an 'N Sync reunion. [Gaetcrasher]
• "I'm a size 8 now since losing more than a stone from all the dance training. I've been that small before, but it was when I was taking drugs and was really unhealthy. Now I'm so fit and even my skin looks better — I think it's from all the sweating!" — Kelly Osbourne, who credits Dancing With The Stars for her slender physique. And yes, that's size 8 UK. [Daily Mail]
• "Sadly, I think the only thing we can be sure of now, is 10, 15 years down the road, the E! True Hollywood story: The Gosselin Kids." — Janice Min, former editor in chief of Us Weekly, to Vanity Fair. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "Yes, I'm Twittering. I know how to use it. I'm not a Neanderthal or anything like that. You know when I'm doing something interesting, I put it on Twitter. If I'm not, I don't. I don't walk around Twittering all day. You got to be a retard to walk around Twittering all day. Come on, man, who does that?" — Tracy Morgan. [NY Post]

• Kate Gosselin's lawyer, Mark Momjian, claims that Jon Gosselin is earning money outside of the family's TLC show and that Kate is entitled to a piece of it, especially after Jon drained the couple's joint bank account. [Radar]

• "We can't specifically verify whether he is getting paid but we think he is. The only person that can answer that is Jon Gosselin. We suspect he is though," Momjian says, "He was on TV [Inside Edition] saying he's always making money and that he has money. For that, we take him at his word!" [Radar]
• Meanwhile, Jon Gosselin's lawyer, Mark Heller, a lawyer from New York who can only practice law in Pennsylvania if an in-state lawyer sponsors him, as just had his sponsorship withdrawn, which means Jon might be lawyerless for the moment. Did I mention that Jon's lawyer was also suspended from practicing law in NY for 5 years "for a variety of misdeeds?" Is this real life? Seriously? Could you cast this thing any better/worse? [TMZ]
• Amy Winehouse has reportedly received breast implants in preparation for her "comeback" appearance on the British television show Strictly Come Dancing. [Mirror]
• Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are more than just friends; they're actually distant cousins, descended from "a bricklayer who came to the U.S. from England in the 1630s and settled in Ipswich." [USAToday]
• Ellen DeGeneres has been preparing for her new stint as an American Idol judge by watching past seasons on DVD. "Ellen and Portia have been watching old seasons on DVD to see how the judges interact with contestants and audience," says a source. [ShowbizSpy]
• Megan Fox's dog was diagnosed with pneumonia, but is on antibiotics and is recovering. [TMZ]
• In other celebrity dog news, Brooke Burns' lost dog was "found by Brooke's groomer's client's neighbor." It's a long story. [TMZ]
• And in even more puppy news, Michael Jackson's children were so moved by the sight of a two-legged dog they saw on television that they decided to raise funds for the pup in order to buy it prosthetic legs. [TMZ]
• "I remember having to make conversation with Michael Jackson. That had to be one of the freakiest moments of my life . . . he wasn't quite the figure he's become today, but still, I remember even then, staring at his nose, and it was all about, 'Don't Stare at His Nose.'"- Hank Azaria, on working with Michael Jackson on The Simpsons. [PageSix]
• Michael Jackson's high school yearbook shows that he was voted "Best Dressed," "Most Creative," and "Shyest." [ONTD]
• Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are reportedly "dreading" the upcoming New Moon promotional blitz they'll both have to go on soon: "Rob and Kristen love the acting; but they hate everything else - the publicity and hype - that goes with the Twilight franchise," says a source. [ShowbizSpy]
• "I could be the most boring mentor since Mariah Carey. God bless her, she's ace. But all she said was, 'That's great. God bless you'."-Robbie Williams on his upcoming guest spot on The X Factor. [TheSun]
• "I think the reason I write about love so much is because I have no idea what is going on with love. It's unpredictable and I haven't figured it out yet."- Taylor Swift [ShowbizSpy]
• Billy Mays' son, Billy Mays II, says he was proud of his late father's "appearance" as a ghost on the season premiere of South Park. [TMZ]
• Alicia Keys is designing her own line of handmade jewelry, called "The Barber's Creations." Each piece comes with an "engraved with a message of hope." [DailyExpress]
• Oh, lord: the wives and girlfriends of all Yankee players have been banned from talking shit about Kate Hudson after Derek Jeter's girlfriend, Minka Kelly's "coldness" toward Hudson was revealed on Page Six. "The Yankees told the girls to be careful who they spoke to about Kate," says a source, "They are concerned about the ramifications for the players." [PageSix]
• Marvel is currently in talks to produce a Spider-Man spin-off film, centered around Spidey's nemesis, Venom. Topher Grace, who played Venom in 2007's Spider-Man 3, is not expected to play the lead in the spin-off. [DailyExpress]
• "I could see myself working with [director Frank Miller] again but, I don't know. Graphic novels are things that I wouldn't do a lot of, so I would have to really choose carefully before I did. At one point, he talked to me about one of the Sin City [films], and we discussed that. There's a kind of cool character I think in the third one, but it was all very kind of soft talk."- Gerard Butler[JustJared]
• Katy Perry and Russell Brand are apparently getting serious, as Perry told her fans via Twitter that she wasn't posting as often because she'd fallen "in a love K-hole." [TheSun]
• It's weird. I watched a bunch of movies from the 70s with my girlfriend recently and I felt so sort of sweet after each movie. And it was like, 'What is that?', and she said, 'None of the movies were snarky.' The absence of snark was such a delightful change. So, I don't know, I'm a fan of non-snarky things."- Demetri Martin [Guardian]
• Gene Simmons says the only way to survive in rock for over 40 years is to avoid alcohol and drugs: "The only way to do it is no booze, no drugs . . . If you are not clean, you don't belong up there. I've never been drunk or high in my life. The only way to survive the long haul is to be straight-nosed. I've been here for four decades." He recommends sex as an alternative, btw. [PageSix]
• Blues musician Abu Talib, perhaps better known as Freddy Robinson has died at the age of 70. [Yahoo]
• Britney Spears' former boyfriend, Adnan Ghalib, has pleaded "no contest" to leaving the scene of an accident after hitting a man; the man was attempting to serve Ghalib with a restraining order, and apparently jumped on the hood of Ghalib's car to stop him, but Ghalib kept driving. [NYTimes]
• Los Angeles prosecutors wrote a letter to the California Second District Court of Appeal, asking that Roman Polanski's request for an appeal, filed before his recent arrest, be denied, as "the issues he presented no longer apply." [Yahoo]
• Nicolas Cage allegedly owes 6.3 million dollars in back taxes. [People]
• Blind Item: "Warner Brothers studio almost fired which young actor after he lost lots of weight and was therefore totally unsuitable for his role in a film series? A compromise was reached when they got him some prosthetics." [BlindGossip]
• "What's left to wish for? A number one album would be good. And to have a movie made of the book, maybe with Johnny Depp playing me - I'd like that. But, really, I'd like to go back in time and make better choices. Still, I know now that there is no such place as Utopia. Even if I do make it to heaven, you can bet your life the toilet will stink."-Ozzy Osbourne [ShowbizSpy]
• And finally, good morning! Here's a picture of Paris Hilton, kissing a chimpanzee. [DailyMail]

[Image via INFDaily.]

• The new single from a singer named Lola is actually a track by Jennifer Lopez.

The song, titled "Fresh out the Oven," features Pitbull and is something La Lopez did "for the streets." [NY Daily News]

• Mary-Kate Olsen could have played a socialite teen vampire on TV, except the CW failed to pick up the show Blue Bloods, based on the book by Melissa de la Cruz. [Gatecrasher]
• Ellen Page will produce and write an HBO comedy called Stitch N' Bitch with Alia Shawkat and Sean Tillman. "The show follows two painfully cool hipster girls as they relocate from Brooklyn's Williamsburg neighborhood to Los Angeles' Silver Lake enclave in hopes of becoming artists — of any kind." [Reuters]
• The Russell Brand/Katy Perry romance is heating up: He texted her a love poem; she replied with a topless photo of herself. [Page Six]
• An Australian variety show has apologized for a skit involving singers parodying the Jackson Five and performing in blackface. Harry Connick Jr., who was a judge on the show, called the skit "disgusting." [AP]
• Carla Bruni claims she is in a never-ending "beauty contest" with the spouses of other world leaders; and considers Michelle Obama and Princess Letizia of Spain her rivals. [NY Daily News]
• All Hail Barbra Streisand, who beat Mariah Carey on the Billboard chart. [Ny Daily News]
• An "insider" tells the National Enquirer that Mackenzie Phillips worked as a "jet-setting call girl" in her late 20s — when she was pregnant with her son Shane. [Daily Express]
• Madonna's buying Jesus Luz a £1.7 million apartment; she's not ready to move him into the house with her four kids, but she's looking for something in walking distance of her Upper East Side townhouse. [Telegraph]
• Conan O'Brien and Newark Mayor Cory Booker have been feuding over the last two weeks, but Booker is ready to "bury the hatchet." In a written statement, O'Brien said he may not be ready to abandon Newark as a joke topic: "I want to again reiterate, I have only the highest respect for Mayor Cory Booker and the city of Newark, New Jersey — one of America's oldest, greatest, and most enduring punchlines." [CNN]
• R. Kelly has revealed that he suffers from illiteracy. "When I was trying to make it out here, I already knew, and I was stubborn about it," he says. "I don't even read really and I'm not afraid to say that. My cousins and brothers used to tease me 'you can't even read right. How you think you're going to come up?' The only reason I graduated from grammar school is because I had a great jump shot. I went to high school and [my teacher] told me 'you will one of the greatest writers of all time.' I believed. You [have to] believe it. You can't believe [anything] if you're hating. You can't achieve [anything] if you're hating." [AOL Music]
• Gloria Allred is accusing David Letterman of "sexual favoritism." [MSNBC]
• Remember when Joe Francis attacked Jayde Nicole in a club? Apparently the incident was caught on a security cam video. You definitely see him drag her off of a barstool by the hair. [Radar Online]
• Michael Vick is getting his own show on BET. It's a "docu-series" spotlighting his comeback in football and also his difficult childhood and dog-fighting ring bust. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Kate Gosselin made fun of her mommy image in a skit on Jay Leno's show last night, telling photographers, "Leave me alone. Hey, what did Mommy say? I asked you to stop taking pictures and you continued… Go to your room," [ET]
• "Jon Gosselin: Kate is 'trying to prevent me from seeing my kids on their birthday.'" Eyeroll. [NY Daily News]
• Sponsors don't seem to give a shit that David Letterman hooked up with employees — there was a Disney commercial during his Tuesday show. [NY Times]
• Beastie Boy Adam Yauch had a cancerous tumor removed from his left parotid gland and says, "I'm taking Tibetan medicine and at the recommendation of the Tibetan doctors I've been eating a vegan/organic diet. I'm feeling healthy, strong and hopeful that I've beaten this thing, but of course time will tell." [TMZ]
• Julia Stiles and Bill Pullman are in the Broadway production of David Mamet's Oleanna. Stiles says: "I feel like Carol is one of the more well developed female parts he's written. There's something so interesting to me about how relentless and confrontational Carol is. For better or worse she's a force to be reckoned with. David Mamet is really good at writing characters that are flawed. There's something so fascinating about them in their bluntness." [NY Times]
• LisaRaye's new reality show will tell unflattering stories about Star Jones, Vivica A. Fox, and more. [Gatecrasher]
• "Prosecutors have declined to press charges against the sheriff's deputy who arrested Mel Gibson three years ago, citing a lack of proof he leaked details about the case." [AP]
• Alicia Keys is starting a new company, featuring a range of products; first up is The Barber's Daughters, handcrafted jewelry engraved with messages of hope. [Mirror]
• Stephanie Seymour's going through a divorce, and husband Peter Brant says she spent $50,000 a month on new clothes alone. [Gatecrasher]
• Matt Lucas's ex, Kevin McGee, who hanged himself Monday, had recently confessed his suicidal thoughts to a stranger at a gay bar. [The Sun]
• In the entertaining piece at the link, Phyllida Law — Emma Thompson's mother — talks about her daughter's struggle to have children, her adopted son from Rwanda, and her hoarding habit. [Daily Mail]
• Is Antonia Kidman getting married at her sister Nicole Kidman's estate in Sutton Forest, New South Wales, Australia? [News.com.au]
• Michael Sheen (The Queen, Frost Nixon, Underworld) plays legendary self-destructive soccer manager Brian Clough in a film called The Damned United, which is being called Sheen's "best performance of his big-screen career." [USA Today]
• Oh, yeah, and Michael Sheen also plays an Italian vampire in New Moon. But you already knew that. Twihard. [USA Today]
• Whatshername, the cagefighter, crossdressing, etc. [The Sun]
• "I love Susie Greene - she is so freeing. I analyze things from every which way. She just reacts without any kind of censor. Everything is an indignity, and she is absolutely sure of herself in every single response. All those doubts held me back for years: I wasn't good enough, I wasn't pretty enough, is this the right dress to wear? Susie Greene thinks she is drop-dead gorgeous and everything she chooses to put on is drop-dead gorgeous. Imagine being like that." — Susie Essman on her Curb Your Enthusiasm character. [NY Times]
• Q: What's your take on the Letterman sex scandal? Many people feel it's hypocrisy for him to throw darts at other's sexual misconduct when he's apparently been no better.
  A: "Here's the difference. A — it's his job to do that. And B — it just shows people don't really know what the story's about, which is the extortion. It has nothing to do with sex. And we're idiots when it comes to sexuality. We still think if you're single, you're a slut, you're awful! You should get married. People have sex! That's it. It's not the end of the world. It's really no big deal." — comedian Lewis Black. [Reuters]
• "Heath was just so full of ideas and fresh dialogue and so unbelievably fast and inventive. He was still, in some sense, speeding from playing The Joker, which had liberated him in a way that he had never experienced before. He was always telling me 'I am doing things in scenes that I didn't know was inside me. I cannot believe it.'" director Terry Gilliam, who cast Heath Ledger in The Imaginarium Of Dr. Parnassus. [Mirror]
• Check out Heath in a trailer at the link. [NY Daily News]
• "We gave our blessing. We decided that it was so touching and that it should go on the air. It was a wonderful testament to the work Adam did. I only wish he were here to help so many more." — DJ AM's mother, Andrea Gross, who decided that his show should go on the air on MTV. [TMZ]
• "I don't know how to swim. So, I never spent any time on a beach. That's the good news. The bad news is that if you are drowning, I cannot rescue you." — Bernadette Peters, at a skin cancer event. [Page Six]
• "I would do 20 Vicodin in a night. I was on my way out. I might have been 24 hours away from dying." — Robbie Williams. [The Sun]
• "She's a manifester, if there ever was one. First-rate manifester. Madonna makes things happen. Put Madonna up against any 23-year-old, she'll outwork them, outdance them, outperform them. The woman is broad. And, of course, here you go: I still love her. But she's retarded, too." — Guy Ritchie, to Esquire. [MSNBC Scoop]

• Julia Roberts is in India shooting Eat, Pray, Love, and security is tight on the film set:

50 local police officers and security officers are guarding Julia; yet kids and villagers are climbing trees and rooftops to get a glimpse of the Hollywood star. [AP]

• Michael Jackson is making money at the box office: This Is It accounted for 71% of all sales yesterday on the ticket site fandango.com. [NY Daily News]
• Madonna might marry boyfriend Jesus Luz, according to reports. She apparently likes how he checks in all the time and understands that she is self-involved — plus, says a source, "the sex is scorching hot." Husband material! [Daily Mail]
• This column claims that Penelope Cruz must be pregnant: She went to an OB/GYN with boyfriend Javier Bardem. Maybe he just tagged along for her Pap smear? [NY Daily News]
• Teri Hatcher, who was a guest on Friday's (canceled) episode of The Tonight Show, says that Conan O'Brien has a concussion: "We did this bit and at the very end, when we ran in to cross the finish line, he slipped as he was crossing the finish line and hit his head… And the thing was, I was in front of him so I didn't see it initially. He didn't get off floor right a way, but then he [seemed] like he recovered and [pulled] it together, and they did an instant replay, and you could really see his head hit the floor. He did go to the hospital and he does have a concussion." [ET]
• Sources say Kanye West has an alcohol problem. "He's been boozing heavily ever since his mother died," an insider says. [Showbiz Spy]
• Kanye West was seen acting "reserved, quiet and humble for once." [Gatecrasher]
• "Roman Polanski's Arrest Could Lead to Extradition."[NY Times]
• "Roman Polanski's arrest in Switzerland could lead to diplomatic row." [Times Of London]
• "Poland, France seek Polanski's release." [USA Today]
• "France, Poland want Polanski released on bail." [AP]
• "'Outraged' Roman Polanski's wife vows to fight extradition to U.S. after he is arrested over 1977 underage sex charge." [Daily Mail]
• "Roman Polanski is weighing his legal options after his arrest Saturday at the Zurich Airport. If he agrees to allow extradition, he could be sent to the U.S. within a few days. If he fights the order, it could take several months for the case to get through Swiss courts." [Variety]
• Khloe Kardashian married Lamar Odom on Sunday at a private residence in Beverly Hills. She wore Vera Wang; the flowers were all white; preparation for the nuptials were covered by cameras from E!. [People]
• The wedding will air on E!'s Keeping Up With The Kardashians, in case you weren't clear on that. [NY Daily News]
• Here's the thing: E! agreed to pick up the $1 million tab for Khloe Kardashian's wedding only if it was staged by Sunday — that way it could open the new seaason of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. But since Lamar Odom's lawyers didn't have time to do a pre-nup, yesterday's "wedding" may not have been legally binding. [NY Post]
• Padma Lakshmi, 39, is reportedly pregnant with her first child by boyfriend Manu Nathan, 27. [JustJared]
• Clive Owen is a Liverpool football (soccer) fan, and watched a game in a NYC sports bar with other fans, only one of whom asked, "What was it like snogging Julia Roberts?" [The New Yorker]
• Amy Winehouse's father, Mitch, will join the cast of I'm A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here. [Ireland Online]
• Kate Moss: Making music her focus? She has registered as a songwriter and publisher with the Performing Rights Society, where artists can protect any future royalties from their records. [Daily Express]
• Not that Kate Moss isn't modeling — she's totally the G in Paris Vogue. [TheLifeFiles]
• Simon Cowell is about to become the highest-paid star on TV — with his deal to bring X Factor to the U.S. (he'll producer, not appear on the show) — Cowell will make $103 million by next fall. That's more than Oprah, if you don't include her "empire" earnings. [NY Post]
• The Strokes guitarist Albert Hammond Jr. has checked into rehab; ex-girlfriend Agyness Deyn was seen out with her old flame, Miles Kane, during fashion week. [Daily Mail]
• "[John Travolta's] public acknowledgement that his son, who died in January, was autistic has former Scientologists convinced that he will leave the church-which they say has little tolerance for chronic conditions." [The Daily Beast]
• Rihanna was in Venice for her manager's wedding, and naturally, she posed with and signed an autograph for an Italian monk. He looks incredibly happy. [Daily Mail]
• "Jude Law is refusing to see his newborn daughter until a DNA test proves he is the father, according to new reports." [Daily Express]
• Has Jude Law banned interviewers from asking him about his new daughter? A source says yes, and that's why he didn't talk about it on Regis & Kelly. Jude's rep says "No subjects are banned." [Page Six]
• Jamie Kennedy has reportedly been cheating on Jennifer Love Hewitt with his ex-girlfriend, Shannon Funk. Funk was Britney Spears' assistant for a while. [Prz]
• Megan Fox told Nylon magazine that she thinks she's "really overexposed," which may be one of her most astute quotes ever. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Andrew Shue and the Today show's Amy Robach: Engaged. [People]
• Paris Hilton drove her new pink Bentley to the launch of a jewelry line, where the organizers offered her a free diamond pendant and she "begged and begged to take the matching earrings, too." Vivica A. Fox was at the same event and refused a free diamond bracelet, saying: "I'll buy it myself from my next paycheck." [Page Six]
• Kristen Bell hearts butterscotch pudding. [People]
• 75-year-old Larry King has been interviewing celebrities since 1985; his contract with CNN is set to expire in 18 months. Should he retire, who would take his place? Ryan Seacrest, Katie Couric and Joy Behar are reported contenders. [Page Six]
• Housewife Bethenny Frankel has been "gradually cutting ties" with the other housewives "since news that she'd get her own show on Bravo broke during the summer months." [Gatecrasher]
• Even though Marilyn Manson announced that he has the swine flu, his reps are denying that he is sick, which is just weird. [Gatecrasher]
• Justin Guarini was married over the weekend and the ceremony featured music by Radiohead, Paramore and Peter Gabriel — played by a string quartet. [People]
• Actress/model Angie Everhart denies that British royal Prince Andrew is the father of the baby boy she gave birth to in July. She says: "Just because I've been linked romantically with him in the past it doesn't mean I am still going to bed with him. Whether I am or not is nobody's business but ours… Kayden's daddy is someone who is not in the public eye." [Daily Express]
• This compilation of quotes from Robbie Williams is hilarious. [Guardian]
• "I never tried hard at anything. I was born smart on a very working-class estate. A couple of people I knew went to university apart from me, but all the way through I was the smartest kid in the school. That's luck, but I was proud of it. And I was also proud of doing well without trying. As you get older, and it took me a long time to realise it, that's a disgusting attitude, revolting. It's ignorant and it's a tragic waste, and I realised that the work itself is the reward. The struggle itself is the reward." — Ricky Gervais. [Guardian]
• "I knew my character was going to be pregnant the entire first season, so I figured it was a good time to have another kid." — Jenna Elfman, on being pregnant at the same time as her character in her new show Accidentally On Purpose. [USA Today]
• "The one through-line is the big accent and the in-your-face attitude. I'm definitely stereotyped and I'm very OK with that. I get super bored playing bland, normal girls." — Drea de Matteo, on playing a "tough broad" on Desperate Housewives, who sounds a lot like her Sopranos character. [Time]
• "I just passed my driving test. Took me 60 years, but I did it! For the first time in my life, I'm legal to drive, so watch out!" — Ozzy Osbourne. [MSNBC]
• "When I asked him what he envisioned, he mentioned Serge and Brigitte, Lee Hazlewood and Nancy Sinatra. So for me, I kind of saw it more as 'he said, she said' duets, as opposed to something that was just two people singing together. It's the kind of interplay between a male perspective and a female perspective, so they were a great example of that." — Scarlett Johansson on her duets with Pete Yorn. [NPR]
• "I wish a happy birthday to Sophia Loren, my splendid twin, and I ask her to stop wearing fur — that is the best gift she could offer me." — Brigitte Bardot, who, like Loren, turned 75 this week. [AFP]
• "She doesn't have a penis. She came to my house in her underwear and I saw no hint of a penis. She thought it was appropriate attire. She can get away with it. She knows what she's doing. She ain't no fool. She's brilliant. I think she's a good role model for girls. She plays with sex and makes it unsexy on purpose - so outrageous it's approachable."— Mika, on Lady Gaga. [ONTD via MTV.au]

• Michelle Obama and "first tweens" Malia and Sasha skipped the health care talk President Obama gave on ABC last night and went to a Beyoncé concert instead.

Gawd, imagine sitting next to your mom while Sasha Fierce sings about Jay-Z's penis?!?! [ABC News]

• Late-breaking news: Jackie O seduced Marlon Brando? [Page Six]
• Also? Jackie may have had an affair with Bobby Kennedy? [Gatecrasher]
• Brad Pitt's mom: On Team Aniston. Insert eyeroll emoticon. [MSNBC]
• Kate Gosselin used a local lawyer when filing for divorce, but Jon Gosselin chose Charles J. Meyer, one of the Philadelphia area's most high-profile family law attorneys. [MSNBC]
• "Jon 'hurt' by Kate's remarks as she cites his weekend 'activities.'" [CNN]
• "I'm sorry. And I mean it," writes Perez Hilton. [Perez]
• Here's a mug shot of the dude who allegedly punched Perez, whom you may or may not secretly admire. [TMZ]
• Perez is suing the guy who gave him a black eye. [Page Six]
• Will.I.Am says: " would hate for my silence to be misconstrued… I do not condone harassment or violence of any kind…" [Just Jared]
• A 22-year-old drama student from the University of Indiana is planning to stage a play called The Last Days Of Heath Ledger. [Fox News]
• TMZ says it's not looking good for Farrah Fawcett. [TMZ]
• Have you seen that kid who tried to give Megan Fox a rose? You could get $5,000 if you know who he is. [Page Six]
• Russell Simmons: Seen making out with the gorgeous French actress/model Noemie Lenoir. [Page Six]
• Joy Behar's wedding: Off. How does her boyfriend feel about it? "Steve is fine," Behar says. "He says, 'Do whatever you want.'" [Gatecrasher]
• Amy Winehouse lyrics wrapping paper and greeting cards. No, really. [The Sun]
• Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint went to a pub and got so drunk they couldn't remember the name of the film Harry Portter and The Order Of The Phoenix. [Daily Star]
• Emma "Baby Spice" Bunton wanted to smoke a cigarette in a London club and was shut down. [Daily Mail]
• Two paparazzi were robbed a few hours after they snapped pix of Robbie Williams… and argued with his entourage. Coincidence? [USA Today]
• Launching this fall: Rosie Radio on XM. Rosie O'Donnell will discuss news and entertainment and chat with guests. "I think it'll be good for me," Rosie says. [AP]
• Ryan Reynolds will star in Buried, playing a civilian contractor who's kidnapped in Iraq and awakens buried in a coffin in the desert, armed only with a cell phone, a candle and a knife. [Variety]
• The estranged daughter of Billy Bob Thornton has been indicted in the death of a one-year-old girl she was baby sitting. [AP]
• Kate Hudson is described as a "steakhouse hex," since she watched the Yankees game from a restaurant and her boyfriend's team lost. [Page Six]
• Seth Rogen "seems to have given up on his diet" since he dared to be seen "wolfing down pasta" at a "high-calorie dinner." [Page Six]
• Tatyana Ali from the Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air is in the news, yay! Oh, but she is suing a company of losing her money, boo. [TMZ]
• An auto parts store in Whittier, CA is "paying tribute" to mother of octuplets Nadya Suleman with an interesting VW display involving a mannequin and a bunch of baby dolls. Traffic-stopping image at the link. [LA Times]
• The ABBA museum: Scrapped due to a lack of cash. If you change your mind, I'm the first in line. (Not really.) [NY Times]
• Get to know Scout Taylor-Compton: She has been cast as Lita Ford in The Runaways alongside Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning. [Variety]
• Oh-Snap-Blind-Item! "Which meanspirited starlet e-mailed a co-star's sex tape to a lengthy list of mutual friends?" [Gatecrasher]
• "In 1979, I was teaching nude photography at Parsons school in New York. I needed models for the course – and one day a 20-year-old called Madonna Ciccone showed up. She was just another citizen, a girl trying to make ends meet. She was quiet, taciturn. I'm not sure it was something she enjoyed. She did it for the money, in this case $30. She was relaxed, composed, did as asked. Some people are stiff, some are there to do a job, some give a little more. She was in the middle: she did what she was told but nothing extra." — Martin Schreiber. Nude pic of her Magesty at the link. [Guardian]
• "I can't think of myself in terms of celebrity. It's just too weird. If the choice is between being constantly gawked at and sitting in a chair in a dark room, I prefer the dark room." — Johnny Depp. [Telgraph]
• "The island [I own] can be perceived as a luxury and it certainly is, but it provides me with simplicity and somewhere I can go where no one is looking at me or pointing a camera or a finger at me. I can just be: that's the importance of it. When we're there we do absolutely nothing. My kiddies don't have any toys there and they build little houses out of shells." — Johnny Depp. [Telegraph]
• "I don't feel I've ever played the same person twice. Even though I might have done a couple of comedies or a couple of romantic comedies, the characters are all very different to me," — To you, but not to us, Cameron Diaz. [Reuters]
• "To me, Mia's story's about what happens when you're never really loved in the course of your life. When nobody really takes care of you. You can end up extremely damaged. Thank God, my real life doesn't resemble poor Mia at all." — Hope Davis, on her In Treatment character. [The Daily Beast]
• "I think he's the only functional father. Lucius isn't a functional father. 'Proto' fathers Sirius and Dumbledore are dead, and there's no nice way to put that, so he's the only good image of a father really." — Mark Williams, who plays Aurthur Weasley in the Harry Potter films. [LA Times]
• "After several weeks of continued press coverage of Jon Peters' upcoming book, I want to make something very clear. I have never dated nor had a romantic relationship with Mr. Peters. My name has been continually linked to his romantic liaisons, and I want to put a stop to this lie." — Salma Hayek. [EW]
• "Best way to get over a broken heart? Listen to good music." — Zooey Deschanel, who is reportedly engaged to Ben Gibbard from Death Cab For Cutie. [Mirror]
• "I never look at myself, even in still photographs. I don't look at anything. I panic if there is a monitor in the room. I immediately go into like an anxiety attack. I'm insecure, I think most actors are pretty insecure… I'm not coping very well with all this. Really I'm insane and I don't know how to control my mouth, but I'm working on it." — Your friend Megan Fox. [Mirror]

• Instead of appearing at the Grammy Awards, Chris Brown - seen at left with Rihanna at a pre-Grammy party - was arrested for a felony battery.

He surrendered to the LAPD and then posted $50,000 bail. An "unidentified woman" who appeared to have been beaten identified Brown as her attacker. Rihanna did not show up at the Grammys either. [EW, Rolling Stone, People,TMZ]

• Sources say Rihanna's face is "slightly bruised." [ET]
• This report says Rihanna had "multiple bruises" and was in the hospital but has been released. [NY Daily News]
• Cops say that Chris Brown and "the woman" they are not identifying were arguing inside a vehicle after midnight on Saturday; they received a 911 call and when they arrived, they noticed that the woman had "visible injuries." Brown had left the scene by the time police arrived. [TMZ]
• The case is a felony and not a misdemeanor because of the visible injuries. [People]
• The argument took place in a rented Lamborghini after a pre-Grammy gala at the Beverly Hilton. [Fox 411]
• Rapper David Banner says: "One situation doesn't define a man and I really want American to stop doing that to people. As humans, none of us is perfect." Um, yeah, but. You don't hit women. [Rolling Stone]
• Apparently in 2007, Chris Brown told Giant magazine: "[My stepfather] used to hit my mom. He made me terrified all the time, terrified like I had to pee on myself. I remember one night he made her nose bleed. I was crying and thinking, 'I'm just gonna go crazy on him one day…' I hate him to this day." A family history of domestic violence? [Perez]
• Chris Brown's court date is March 5. [USA Today]
• Commenters on the EW boards claim Chris Brown hit Rihanna because he found out she gave him genital herpes, which she got from a backup dancer. Where are they getting their info? [EW]
• Oh, wait. From here. [All Hip-Hop]
• This blogger adds, "Why is all this foolishness taking place during Black History Month?" [All Hip-Hop]
• Meanwhile: Rihanna is looking for a bone marrow donor for a 5-year-old girl. [UPI]
• Uh-oh: Peaches Geldof and husband of six months, Max Drummey, have separated! To her credit, Peaches did say she didn't expect it to last forever. But maybe at least a year? [Daily Mail]
• Amy Winehouse is heading back to the UK after a long vacation in the Caribbean. She plans to present her lawyers with a "secret ex-file," detailing Blake Incarcerated's bad behavior. Ugly divorce countdown starts now! [News Of The World]
• Is there tension in the Beckham marriage as Victoria heads to New York fashion week alone? She reportedly wants to stay in the U.S.: "She feels out of place in Milan and gets frustrated by not being able to understand what they are saying." [Daily Mail]
• Whitney Houston sang at Clive Davis's pre-Grammy bash and sounded "incredible," E!'s Marc Malkin says. "Was she back to the days when she was in top high-note-hitting form? No, but close." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Usher had to cancel his performance at a pre-Grammy party due to a "serious injury in the family" — apparently his wife Tameka experienced complications from plastic surgery in Brazil. Yikes! [TMZ, People]
• A neurosurgeon from LA's Cedars-Sinai Medical Center is headed to South America to check on Usher's wife. [Access Hollywood]
• Jennifer Aniston's 40th birthday party took place Saturday night at her house in Beverly Hills. Aniston and John Mayer "danced and huddled close all night," and guests included Oprah Winfrey, Sheryl Crow, David Arquette and wife Courteney Cox Arquette, Tobey Maguire and wife Jen Meyer, Laura Dern, Kevin Nealon, and Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson. Aniston has some kind of pull in Hollywood: the police kicked all the paparazzi out of the neighborhood! [Yahoo News via E!]
• Lindsay Lohan was seen hanging out at a table behind Sam Ronson's DJ booth; while Sam worked, LL was drinking from bottles stashed under the table. LL would flirt with guys but bitch out any woman who came close. This report notes that LL looked "grossly skinny." [E!]
• Director McG says of Christian Bale's "blowup": "The film set is a passionate place, and it happens… It was just one of those moments. I think I can speak on all of our behalf that we've all gotten a little fired up. And if anybody would take that moment and take it out of context, it would seem very, very strange." [People]
• Beyoncé runs around two and-a-half miles every day and is "eating veg and drinking water" because her stylists — and her mom tell her when she's gained weight. As for the diet: "It's boring." [Mirror]
• Here's video of the Jessica Simpson performance in which "every song was a disaster" and she mumbled through the lyrics and talked through tears, if you really want to watch that kind of thing. [ONTD via TMZ]
• Since she is producing a teen TV show for Fox and has a movie in the works, Jennifer Lopez is "putting music on the back burner," which may be for the best. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Do we really believe that Leonardo DiCaprio wants girlfriend Bar Refaeli to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit Issue because it will "piss off" Gisele Bundchen? [Page Six]
• Prince Harry and Paris Hilton were supposed to have a date? And the Prince canceled at the last minute? Did he come to his senses? Should we feel sorry for Paris? [Daily Mail]
• Eddie Murphy has been ordered to pay £35,000 a month until his daughter — whose mother is Mel B. — turns 18. That's a total of about £7million. Another Shrek sequel? Anyone? [Daily Mail]
• What's this? Emma Watson is nervous about kissing Rupert Grint, aka Ron Weasley, on screen? [Telegraph]
• Dave Grohl wore a white knot on the red carpet at the Grammys to show his support for gay marriage and marriage equality. Think we'll see 'em at the Oscars? [E!]
• A man was killed on Justin Timberlake's golf course in Tennessee Saturday in a freak accident involving a tree. [TMZ]
• Minutes into his act at a UK nightclub, rapper Coolio was pelted by plastic bottles and ice cubes. Coolio jumped into the crowd to fight some dudes but was dragged way by security. Not exactly a gangster's paradise… [The Sun]
• The new Dancing With The Stars cast has been revealed! Jewel and her husband, rodeo star Ty Murray, will compete against each other. The youngest contestant ever, 17-year-old Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson will dance; and so will Julianne Hough and boyfriend Chuck Wicks; Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Karina Smirnoff; Belinda Carlisle; Denise Richards, former NFL star Lawrence Taylor; Lil' Kim; Jackass star Steve-O; Apple computer co-founder Steve Wozniak; actors David Alan Grier and Gilles Marini; and Access Hollywood co-host Nancy O'Dell. [People]
• Remember when Natalie Portman rapped on Saturday Night Live? Uncensored audio can be found here [ONTD]
• Hugh Grant and ex Jemima Khan are so, so back on. [Telegraph]
• Welcome Charlie Axel into the world; he's the first son for Tiger Woods and wife Elin. [AP]
• A reporter calls The International, Tom Tykwer's film starring Clive Owen and Naomi Watts, a "strange and beautifully made thriller." Tykwer is best known for his 1998 flick, Run Lola Run. [Salon]
• Robbie Williams has been visiting weird websites, stuff like government paranoia and UFOs. [Daily Mail]
• Original Buffy The Vampire Slayer Kristy Swanson and ice skating champ Lloyd Eisler got married on Saturday. This story notes that Swanson "lost 45 lbs. in time for her wedding with the help of The Medifast Diet and regular exercise, including martial arts, skipping rope and treadmill work." [People]
• A tell-all book about Sean "Diddy Combs" by a former aspiring rapper is called Dancing With the Devil: How Puff Burned the Bad Boys of Hip-Hop. It's self-published, naturally. [Page Six]
• Are you ready for a Tricky comeback? [Independent]
• "Straying Alive! Married Bee Gee Robin Gibb has baby with live-in housekeeper 26 years his junior." [Daily Mail]
• "I want to keep learning, I have no ego. I'm blessed to be on one of the great shows. I made a statement last year that I was going to aggressively pursue my acting career… I want to do some television." - Sean "Diddy Combs on his CSI: Miami gig. [The Star]
• Paradise Beach had improbable plot-lines. We were always in bikinis, even at funerals. And someone who was my brother ended up being my father and I pulled him – it was just insane." — Isla Fisher on her soap opera past, to GQ. [Daily Express]
• "Besides being in love with him, I'm his biggest fan. I think my fiancé is hilarious." — Isla Fisher on Sacha Baron Cohen. [Mirror]
• "I've decided I am going to start loving my backside because I don't know anyone who does that. And for my daughter, I want to be able to say to her, 'I love this.' [Young women] look at all of us, myself included, on these magazine covers and they think, 'My God, how does she get skin like that?' And I can tell you, I have so many blemishes under this make-up that have been so fabulously covered, I promise you. I did realise a few years ago that no one actually talks about this retouching thing. It's like a secret or something. I'm damned if it's going to be a secret any more. I really want these young women to know we don't look like this." — Kate Winslet. [Daily Mail]
• "I think I definitely want to go to college… I could always study drama. I think that would be really cool. There's always more you can learn. If I wanted to do something totally different, I love history." — Dakota Fanning. [Newsweek]
• "Sir Anthony Hopkins is in the recording studio with Amy Winehouse, and we are hoping that next week Sir Brad and all the Pitt family will be performing The Sound of Music at the Brit awards." — Mick Jagger, making jokes at the Baftas. [People]
• "It's so invasive. It's not like they're standing 100 feet away. They're in your face, not letting you walk, standing in the way when you're driving. It becomes a situation and it doesn't need to be." — Jessica Alba on the paparazzi. [The Star]
• "I got into a bit of hot water for what I said about Amy Winehouse and I still say it again. I'm an ex-drug addict and I don't take that kind of stuff lightly. It stayed in my body for 25 years and it could still happen to this young woman or other addicts who are fooling around with drugs, especially needles. I would hope that what happened to me does not happen to her." — Natalie Cole, who has Hepatitis C and is waiting for a kidney transplant, on Amy Winehouse. [Mirror]
• "Every time I go for an ultra scan the baby is like in crazy positions with legs star-shaped and stuff. It's not like in a baby position at all. I feel like he is used to base lines and beats and receptive to that, which is cute." — M.I.A. [Mirror]
• "I grew up in Nashville, Tennessee, and my parents taught me to respect my elders. We'd say things like 'yes, ma'am' and 'no, sir' to adults. But kids in Los Angeles don't do that. I've drawn the line at my children calling adults by their first names. I tell them they can call people 'Miss Shannon' or 'Miss Heather' but that using only the first name is too familiar. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned." — Reese Witherspoon. [Reader's Digest]
• "It's crazy for people to care about him having a bong hit. Nothing's the matter with it - I want to have a bong hit right now. Really, the message Phelps is giving is that you can smoke weed and still be at the top of your game." — Bill Maher. [Gatecrasher]
• "My split with Brad was the hardest thing I ever went through. But it made me strong, superhuman. Now I'm turning 40 and I'm very excited. When they say youth is wasted on the young, it's so true.'" — Jennifer Aniston. [Daily Mail]
• People have called me a sex symbol in the past, but it's very much an effort […] It's been important for me to just do something that's extreme — that really separates me from that public Joaquin Phoenix persona, whatever the fuck that is. Or maybe I'm just lazy." — Joaquin Phoenix on his new, grizzy, bearded "look." [The Sun]

• Meryl Streep was giddy after winning her SAG award, so Alec Baldwin asked her if she'd be on 30 Rock. She said yes! [Gatecrasher]

• Lindsay Lohan is eating, says Lindsay Lohan's publicist. [Page Six]
• When you think of The Hills, do you think of birth control? Lo Bosworth is now the face of Yaz in Canada, doing interviews about how the drug can reduce headaches and cramps during your period. [PR Week]
• Fervidus! Daniel Radcliffe has invited Sasha and Malia Obama for a tour of the Harry Potter set! [Daily Mail]
• Madonna is in Palm Beach, Florida for the Winter Equestrian Festival. She was mostly unrecognized as she watched professional show-jumpers for two hours wearing dark glasses and a baseball cap with, uh, Madonna on it. [Page 2 Live]
• BTW: Madonna and A-Rod are back on. [Page Six]
• David Beckham is being sued by a photographer who was "roughed up" by one of the soccer star's bodyguards last month. Apparently the snapper's camera was thrown in a trash can and the bodyguards punched him. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Uh-oh: Tension in the marriage as David Beckham wants to move to Italy and Victoria is reluctant to uproot the kids. [Daily Mail]
• Brad Pitt says he won't look as good as Benjamin Button when he gets older: "I doubt gravity and time will be that kind." [Mirror]
• In this video, John Mayer inspires John Mayer. He also references The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button, which Jennifer Aniston should love. [The Superficial]
• Heath Ledger has joined Elvis Presley and Paul Newman on a list of celebrities who have earned as much as or more after death as they did when alive. His estate earned $30.1 million last year. [News.com.au]
• The Times of London has advice for Kate Winslet, should she win an Oscar. She ought to say "Blimey!" a lot, make some jabs at other actresses, allow a tear to roll down her cheek and also: "Gather. Gather." [Times of London]
• Food fight! Mario Batali has banned Gordon Ramsay from his restaurants. "He goes about town calling me Fanta Pants," Batali fumed. [Page Six]
• George Clooney and his dad, veteran journalist Nick Clooney, were quippy before a screening of the 2005 film Good Night And Good Luck in D.C. Nick said: "Never cared for this kid! His sister's great." George shot back: "I always wanted to be adopted, couldn't find anyone." [AP,People]
• Kevin Federline will not, repeat, not be on Dancing With The Stars. Even though he used to be a backup dancer. You may now return to your regularly scheduled ennui. [People]
• Donnie Osmond might be on Dancing With The Stars. Yawn. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Now that Jeremy Piven has been replaced by William H. Macy in Speed-The-Plow on Broadway, the New York Times' Ben Brantley actually enjoys it. [NY Times]
• Will Jennifer Lopez head to Broadway? She'd have to be able to sing, right? [Page Six]
• Girl crush Penelope Cruz: Moving to New York! "After a number of years in Los Angeles, I no longer want to live here, It will be better if I share my time between New York and Madrid, where my family is," she says. Woody Allen may have influenced this choice. [AP]
• Also moving: Robbie Williams, from L.A. back to the UK. [Daily Mail]
• Mischa Barton is dating another musician: After Cisco Adler and Rooney's Taylor Locke, she's now with Luke Pritchard from The Kooks. [Daily Mail]
• Price slash! Dylan McDermott's house is now $2 million less. Could be yours, for $9 mil. [TMZ]
• Oh dear: Lost's Josh Holloway, aka Sawyer, isn't totally comfortable with you gawking at his shirtless body: "The whole sex-symbol thing is really strange. I wouldn't wish it on anybody. I appreciate the opportunity to work, the cash it gives you, and other things it provides are wonderful. But the celebrity thing... I don't like attention. Like anybody, it's impossible not to feel self-conscious if someone's looking at you all the time, everywhere you go." [MSNBC]
• This won't surprise you: Governor Rod Blagojevich wouldn't let the stylists at The View touch his hair before he went on the air. [MSNBC Scoop]
• The British papers can't stop making fun of Chelsy Davy's fake tan. She does look rather… orange. [Daily Mail]
• Teri Hatcher voices the mother in stop-animation flick Coraline; she says: "As a mom, [a kid-friendly film] is sort of a goal you want to check off your list." [WWD]
• ABC has six nominations for the GLAAD awards, with Brothers & Sisters, Ugly Betty and Desperate Housewives among the contenders. Films nominated include Milk, Vicky Cristina Barcelona and Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. [AP]
• Fabolous and his entourage drank oodles of champagne at a tapas bar in Atlanta, but all of the rapper's credit cards were declined. Maybe they take bling? [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which aging rock star attempted to have a rhinoplasty — but was deemed an unsuitable candidate because he’s still frequently using Colombia’s finest?" [Gatecrasher]
• A PETA ad got pulled from the Super Bowl for being too sexual. [Page Six]
• Director and transcendental meditation enthusiast David Lynch is plotting a "global benefit concert" to raise funds to teach meditative techniques to schoolkids. Involved: Paul McCartney, Moby, Sheryl Crow, Eddie Vedder and Donovan. Lynch says: "Every child should have one class period a day to dive within himself and experience the field of silence-bliss - the enormous reservoir of energy and intelligence that is deep within all of us." [Guardian]
• In an interview with the awesome Stockard Channing, about her role in Pal Joey on Broadway, she talks about singing famous tune "Betwitched, Bothered and Bewildered": "Once I got over my fear of it — because Frank Sinatra, Mel Torme, you name it, had sung this song — when it became just a dramatic moment, I could feel it, and I really love it because it is a little soliloquy." [Playbill]
• UK chat show host Eamonn Holmes has ripped American celebs: "Rihanna, for example, is a beautiful girl, but if she was your daughter, you’d give her a slap and tell her to wise up." And! "Apparently, you just can’t talk to [Solange] about being Beyoncé’s sister and knowing Beyoncé I thought ‘So why are you here, love?’" [Daily Mail]
• Hilary Swank and Minnie Driver will star in Betty Anne Waters, a legal drama in which Swank plays an unemployed single mother whose brother is convicted of murder-robbery. Waters spends 10 years working on law degrees and working on her brother's case; Driver plays her law school friend. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Best wishes to Mariska Hargitay, who's back at work, two weeks after suffering a partially collapsed lung. [ET via People]
• Kanye West says it hurts when 50 Cent talks shit about him: "For me as a fan of him, I felt like if he said something negative and tried to make it like I’m negative, it’s almost like if a little kid walks up to you at the airport and is like, 'Man, I love you so much,' and then you spit on him. It’s like, 'I don’t know if I love you as much as I used to,' as you wipe the spit off your face, but you still play their music." [MSNBC]
• Actress Emma Roberts is 17, well-read and full of hope. She likes David Sedaris and Chuck Palahniuk and says: "I'd love to have a really nice boyfriend. I would love to have been to Paris. I've never been. I'd love to have my own photography coffee-table book. And I'd love to get my license. It's been a catastrophe. I got my permit the first try and went to get my license and failed. Then my permit expired. I just got my permit again a couple of weeks ago, so hopefully I'll get my license soon." [USA Today]
• Remember Christopher Atkins from The Blue Lagoon? He says he was almost cast as the lead in Footloose. Everything could have been different. [UPI]
• A jury will tour Phil Spector's mansion as part of the final phases of Spector's second murder trial. [AP]
• "Gwyneth has got something like 800 people that have joined. I hope I can get a membership!" — Blythe Danner on her daughter's new gym. [Gatecrasher]

• Britney was at a middle school in The Bronx yesterday to present a $10,000 check for the music program. The donation came from Elizabeth Arden, which is behind Brit's fragrances, Believe, Fantasy and Curious. [People]
• Hey, guess who has another perfume coming out in December? [ONTD]
• So yesterday we read that Britney wanted to buy her sex tape from Adnan Ghalib. Today Adnan says: "There is no sex tape. I’m extremely upset and taking legal action." Um, against whom? Also, even if there is no "sex" tape, there's no doubt he has some footage of her dazed and naked. You just know it. Think about the state she was in back then. [The Sun]
• Oh here we go, more quotes from Adnan: "There is no sex tape, and I've never claimed there is one. I don't know where these quotes I'm supposed to have said have come from. What I do know is they certainly didn't come from me and they are completely false. I'm extremely upset and distressed and I'm taking legal action... This story has caused a lot of hurt to my family and people close to me. There is no sex tape. That is the end of the matter." [Star]
• OMFG: Did LC hook up with JustinBobby behind Audrina's back??? [E!]

• Lily Allen's friends want her to go to rehab, since she drinks too much and always feels depressed. Sniff. [Perez Hilton]
• Tina Fey's Palin videos are getting big traffic for NBC's website. And she's not even an SNL regular anymore. [MediaWeek]
• The Heather Locklear/Jill Ishkanian story is long and complicated, but it seems to involve Denise Richards. [Jossip]
• Did you know that Charlize Theron makes a shitload of money just for wearing jewelry? [The Smoking Gun]
• Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo: Winter wedding? [The Superficial]
• Have you seen this video with Halle Berry, Jennifer Aniston, Benicio Del Toro, Laura Linney, Eva Longoria, Leo DiCaprio and ton of other celebs encouraging you to vote? [People]
• There's also a video with Demi Moore and Ashton and "Barack Obama." [Perez Hilton]
• David Beckham spent the whole night drinking with some guy he thought was Rex Lee — Lloyd from Entourage — but it was just a prankster. [Mirror]
• Shia LaBeouf: Injured again, this time above the eyebrow, by a prop on the set of Transformers. He got stitches, then it was back to work. [Perez Hilton]
• Bianca Golden, the America's Next Top Model contestant who had an airport showdown with Nikki Blonsky and her family this summer, has spoken out for the first time about the incident to Tyra Banks (of course!). Bianca says Nikki was rude to her family from the beginnning and that "her father … punched my mom. He knocked her out. He hit my mom with such force she stumbled back, and when she stumbled back, the whole family got up and attacked my mom." Then the Blonsky family supposedly yelled racist remarks at the Goldens. DRAMA! [Perez Hilton]
• Jamie Hince, Kate Moss's ex, went to a psychic in L.A. after a "massive drinking session" and had to be helped out the place. Did the clairvoyant see a reconciliation in her crystal ball? [The Sun]
• Word is Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady will get married very soon. A friend says: "I don't think they will even bother getting engaged — and will just slip off and marry quietly." [Perez Hilton]
• Russell Crowe gained 63 pounds for his role in Body Of Lies. He says: "I'll have that cheeseburger for breakfast, thank you!" [UPI]
• A women's shelter cut headliner Sandra Bernhard from its annual benefit after she said Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin would be gang-raped if she ever visited New York. Jokes! [AP]
• Russell Brand wants to sleep with Helen Mirren. "She's so sexy and enchanting, just look at her form." They're going to be working together in a new film version of Shakespeare's The Tempest. Russell says: "I'll be all over her. I don't know how I'll get any work done." [Mirror]
• Is Holly Madison heading for The Hills? She was seen partying with Lo, Brody and Frankie. [E!]
• Jane Kaczmarek says even though she and hubs Bradley Whitford are television stars, their family only has one TV in the house. "We don't watch much TV," she claims. "We're big readers." [UPI]
• Were those nude Marilyn Monroe photos that are the subject of a lawsuit found in a garbage can 35 years ago? [AP]
• Robbie Williams is working on an aliens-inspired album, and has been writing alien-anthems at a UFO camp in Trout Lake, WA — a hot spot for alien encounters. [Perez Hilton]
• You know how Courtney Semel smacked a security guard in Vegas back in August? She's getting off with just paying a $250 fine. [TMZ]
• A cookbook from rapper Coolio? LOL! He says: "I'm a gourmet chef. I have my own YouTube channel for cooking. I do a lot of healthy fusion food - I do Black Italian - Blitalian, Black Asian - Blasian, Black English - Blenglish and I'm about to try Black Scottish - Blottish. I like traditional food and putting my own twist on it." [Daily Express]
• Get your tie dye out, Phish is reuniting. [Newser]
• Rickrolling has brought Rick Astley back into the public eye, and he's up for an MTV Europe Music Award this year, although he has never been nominated before. [BBC News]
• Behold: Luke Ledger, Heath's cousin. Also an actor. [News.com.au]
• Here's a funny little story told by actor Sir Michael Gambon, about Johnny Depp meeting the Queen. [Telegraph]
• Ang Lee is working on a comedy about Woodstock. The 1969 concert, not the tiny bird who's friends with Snoopy. [Reuters]
• "I think my only trick is… be normal and kind of have your shit together. And be consistent and reliable. Just not a flake. Really, the thing is, not to be a superflake. Don't be an asshole. Don't be supercocky. Don't be a show-off. Everyone for some reason feels the need to show off." — David Spade, on how he gets so many chicks. [Radar]
• "I definitely think there's more opportunity in television to a certain degree. But I don't know that there's as much opportunity for a lot of people of color to spread their wings because sometimes it came be very limited. But there are so many filmmakers that are willing to take more risk, and do color-blind casting — that's how a lot of things have come to pass for me […} You can get shafted both ways — you can be too American, or you can be too Chinese. It's a very difficult combination to be neither/nor, or either/or. It's nice to be able to embrace all cultures and to jump from one thing to another, which is kind of the whole reason for acting, to transform yourself, you know?" — Lucy Liu. [Wall Street Journal]
• "I have a great guy that's been around me for 15 years and he likes to yell at me every time I come into the office. He's a cranky old man. I love him. He is a Jungian therapist. He's taught me to listen to my psyche, be aware of what is going on and to make great choices." — Pamela Anderson. [Guardian]
• "The film is particularly painful for some people to watch. They keep hoping for a different ending. The great thing for me as an actor is I get to play all that anger on screen. So I don't have to live with it." — Kevin Spacey, on his flick Recount, about the 2000 election and the hanging chad debacle. [Independent]

[West Hollywood, June 16. Image via Splash.]

It's interesting to think what Simon Cowell would have made of Britney Spears, if instead of her being a child-star/teen pop sensation/bloodied piece of roadkill, she'd emerged as an adult contestant on American Idol. We think she'd have made it to the final, but been booted off early on for having no soul. Much like Taylor Hicks. Oh, wait a minute.....

But it's also interesting that most of the American Idol stars have so far remained relatively untainted by celebrity excess (Get OFF the damn web-cam, or it's bed with no dinner for you, Clay!), and perhaps Simon is the reason why. The ever down-to-earth impresario explains why he has no patience with celeb rehab addicts like Britney and Robbie Williams - because they just don't know how lucky there are. Who knew?

But he does reveal his management plan for any AI star looking for the sympathy drug vote (pay attention Justin Guarini, we think you're gonna need this info in the future):

"I would make it compulsory that they have to go and live in a developing country for a couple of weeks. And then when you get home, as your butler is opening your curtains and making sure your bath water is the right temperature, you'll realise everything is fine."

In other news, the St Angelina Jolie Clinic catering to drug-addled starlets is due to open in Ethiopia any day now, with a free baby for every successful rehab. Does that woman ever stop caring?

[Simon Cowell blasts Britney] Daily Mirror

HAPPY PILLS!
SLEEPING PILLS!
60 SILK CUT!
20 RED BULLS!
EVERY DAY!

So screams the front page of The Sun today, on the news that former boy-bander Robbie Williams has gone into rehab in Arizona (why is it always in Arizona?).

To which we say, what a pussy. That's about half OUR daily consumption.

Still, rehab is so very now, don't you think?

[Come back when you're doing crack, little boy]