Maw-Maw loveshercurves once came upon some thieves stealing from my aunts house she had just picked up my two year old cousin from day care. Well, Maw-Maw had a hand gun that she kept in her purse after my Paw-Paw died. She ducked for cover behind her car and shot at them. They immediately drove off at the sight of a crazy old lady shooting at them. I asked her why she did this and she said, "Ahh honey, I wasn't shootin' to kill, that was just a warning shot. If they hadn't left then and there I woulda started aimin'." Ahh crazy southern grandmothers.
At 54 this lady should probably not really be classified as an "old broad" but this story seems applicable. "I'm going to blow your balls off!" is a pretty nice comeback to a mugger/carjacker if you can manage it.
@KelseyDenby: Actually, if 54, 55 gets you tough old broad status and an heroic reception at the Police Station rather than a charge of assault and battery, I'm in!!!
@BadDecisionDinosaur: My grandparents used to live in Gresham. I like to preserve my fond memories of their very nice neighborhood, which I'm sure has gone way downhill.
What about me? Fine, I'm in my 20's but I fought my mugger (which caused my tights to be ripped and my boots to be severely and permanently damaged due to sidewalk scraping) and then even ran after to him. But he had a head start because I was on the ground (since he pushed me onto it) and since I was wearing a dress and knee-high boots...
@JinxyMcDeath: You're tougher than I am. My mugger tried to lure me in to read illegible handwriting that were supposedly directions to a train that didn't exist. He had his right hand hidden and was having a tough time with the papers since he was obviously right-handed. I could smell cigarette smoke so I figured he was going to pull the 'smash the ciggy into their face' trick so he could grab my bag & suitcase.
I kicked him in the mid-thigh with a 4" stacked heel and socked him under the chin with the heel of my hand. I felt a crunch so I either knocked out a couple of teeth or fractured his jaw. I was pretty crabby.
@JinxyMcDeath: badass! that reminds me of a story my friend told me about his sister who is currently doing the Peace Corps in Niger...apparently she was mugged in a marketplace, but her attacker didn't know that the 5'4" girl he was attacking was a black belt in karate, so she kicked his ass.
Unfortunately, his friend then came along with a knife so she had to surrender her bag, but at least she got some victory in there.
The other night, my sister was trying on her big white Sweet 16 party dress, joking that she looked like she was getting married. I said, "I'm never getting married!" (mostly because my mom gets mad when I say that.)
"But what about my grandkids?" Mom asked.
Grandma pipes up, "She can have kids without getting married - don't you know how that works? It's what she wants to do." As I burst into laughter, she continued with a diatribe on how it doesn't make sense that gays can't get married and women have to - only further proving to me that she's the most amazing woman I know.
@hydrogen_jukebox: that rocks! one of my grandmas wouldn't speak to me for a year when she found out I was moving in with my boyfriend at 18. Like our house would be a den of sin or something.
My friend was named after a friend of her mother's who, as a 60-something old woman, moved from England to Egypt, bought an Arabian mare, shacked up with the 25-year old Bedouin boy who delivered it, and started breeding Arabians. Something about that is just so ideal to me...
I love feisty old ladies. Makes me miss my grandmother. She threatened a nun. My grandfather would tell his kids "If anybody ever does anything to you kids, come right home and tell me. Your mother will go after them."
I guess she was always feisty, not just when she was old. Gran, the 5' Irish Wonder, who's mantra was "The bigger they are, the harder they fall."
also I want to say: i have been loving the Maria posts over the last couple days! I'm sad she's going away, and if she gets another job blogging or doing internet stuff i will be reading.
I had a guy attempt to mug me on my way to my hotel when in the city for a conference two weeks ago. I was tired, hungry and crabby. He was really wasted on something. I kinda beat him up but felt guilty because it wasn't really a fair fight. Did I mention I was crabby? I don't think I hurt him too badly but I really didn't stick around to check.
I'm 47 and feel like I've had my initiation into the Tough Old Broad's Club.
01/01/09
And to all my Jezzies with rocking crusty old broads for Granmas, you are truly blessed. I lost mine at 93 last year and I miss her still.
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http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28438185/
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I kicked him in the mid-thigh with a 4" stacked heel and socked him under the chin with the heel of my hand. I felt a crunch so I either knocked out a couple of teeth or fractured his jaw. I was pretty crabby.
12/31/08
Unfortunately, his friend then came along with a knife so she had to surrender her bag, but at least she got some victory in there.
12/31/08
The other night, my sister was trying on her big white Sweet 16 party dress, joking that she looked like she was getting married. I said, "I'm never getting married!" (mostly because my mom gets mad when I say that.)
"But what about my grandkids?" Mom asked.
Grandma pipes up, "She can have kids without getting married - don't you know how that works? It's what she wants to do." As I burst into laughter, she continued with a diatribe on how it doesn't make sense that gays can't get married and women have to - only further proving to me that she's the most amazing woman I know.
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Plus - she'll probably give me nickles when I am being good. Old ladies FTW!
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I guess she was always feisty, not just when she was old. Gran, the 5' Irish Wonder, who's mantra was "The bigger they are, the harder they fall."
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I'm 47 and feel like I've had my initiation into the Tough Old Broad's Club.
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[news.cincinnati.com]