• Wait wait wait wait. Did Lindsay Lohan spend the night at Jason Segel's house?

Apparently he came outside and told nosy paparazzi that she was not inside. An hour later, she emerged. [Daily Mail]

• The photographer who shot Lindsay Lohan in a ménage-à-trois situation for Muse magazine, Yu Tsai, says: "When you see her nipple, it just happened in the moment. She was playing the role of Kate Moss — you're at a party and you are with a guy you really love and another girl. She is stunning and radiates in the pictures. Lindsay is incredibly focused where it comes to her career and fashion is her passion. It's raw, it's exposed, this is her at her best. She told me: 'I want to make this iconic.'" So; the nipple shot was in the moment, huh? What about the bare-assed shot? [Page Six]
• Madonna could possibly adopt again. "Never say never," she told a TV news reporter. [Daily Express]
• Is Britney's dad's conservatorship coming to an end? Jamie Spears actually has two: one over Britney as a person; another over her business affairs. The business conservatorship will likely continue, but Britney may get some freedom back. [TMZ]
• "Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman, the American actors, have made it into Who's Who 2010, adding a 'touch of Hollywood glamour' to the list of new entrants." [Telegraph]
• Diane Sawyer has announced that this is her last week on Good Morning America. She will take over the World News anchor chair for Charles Gibson, who retires December 18. [Good Morning America]
• Christopher Cuomo has resigned from ABC, where he was the is co-anchor of Good Morning America and a regular contributor to ABC Evening News. Is it because people are saying George Stephanopolous will take over for Diane Sawyer? [Radar Online]
• mediabistro.com's TV Newser column declares: "Reports of Chris Cuomo's Resignation Untrue." [TV Newser]
• Alexa Ray Joel is out of the hospital. [Showbiz 411]
• Sources claim that Alexa Ray Joel took pills after fighting with an ex-boyfriend. [Extra, People]
• Alexa Ray Joel's ex-boyfriend, Johnny Riot, says: "I don't know how she's doing." [NY Daily News]
• Drew Barrymore and Justin Long are heating up again, and you know, I hope those crazy kids make it work. Adorable. [Gatecrasher]
• Over the weekend, Jake Gyllenhaal said: "Obviously I exist in my girlfriend's world and my sister's world in a different way, but [being around their kids has] opened my heart and I feel much more grown up and want to be grown up as a result of it." Does using the word "girlfriend" mean that he and Reese have not broken up? [Gatecrasher]
• Tiger Woods is a regular at two bars in Orlando, FL — people who work at the Blue Martini say that Tiger is "really friendly" with the waitresses and at a bar called 23, the private lounge is called the Tiger Room — where Tiger's tab is around $1,500 a night. [TMZ]
• Tiger Woods' fourth alleged mistress, Jamie Jungers, is a former Trashy Lingerie "Trashy Girl," as you can see in the pictures at the link. [E!, E!]
• This post claims that Tiger Woods made the decision to pay off Rachel Uchitel after a "secret phone call" in which she made it clear that was not the one who leaked the story of their affair. And: "Tiger felt it was important to silence Uchitel more than any other woman because his relationship with her was current and intense." [Radar Online]
• More women may come forward to say they've been involved with Tiger Woods. An anonymous Las Vegas nightclub owner says: "He wasn't one to send away someone who was interested. There was a revolving door of women with Tiger. I can think of half a dozen off the top of my head." [MSNBC Scoop]
• One alleged mistress says that Tiger Woods told her his marriage was a sham and "only for publicity." [NY Daily News]
• Tiger Woods' best friend, Byron Bell — the one who bought tickets for Rachel Uchitel to join Tiger in Australia — is getting married next week. Tiger is the best man. [TMZ]
• Wait, what? "Tiger Woods Alienates Black Community With White Lovers." You mean golf didn't do it? One blogger says: "If Tiger Woods had cheated on his gorgeous white wife with black women, the golfing great's accident would have been barely a blip in the blogosphere." [NY Daily News]
• Hey, look who's on the January cover of Golf Digest? Tiger Woods. And Barack Obama. [The Life Files, WSJ]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Amy Adams is pregnant. She and fiancé Darren Legallo have yet to set a wedding date. [NY Daily News]
• Clothingus strippis! The new Harry Potter flick will feature a "very sexy" love scene in which Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson are NAKED. Doubt that we'll see Harry's wand, though. It ain't Equus. [Telegraph]
• Susan Boyle is still at the top of the album charts in the UK. [Mirror]
• Matt Damon thinks a fourth Jason Bourne movie will happen "someday." He adds: "It's gotta happen - we've just got to get a script, and we don't have one." The thing is, he wants to do it with director Paul Greengrass, who recently said he wasn't interested in returning to the franchise. "I wouldn't do it with anybody else." [MTV News]
• Rihanna high-fived a young woman wearing the same outfit at her album launch party. [Gatecrasher]
• Shakira will speak at the Oxford Union debating society in front of Oxford University students. [The Star]
• Helen Mirren keeps her Oscar, SAG Awards, BAFTAs, Golden Globes and Emmys in her attic. At the Women in Film and TV Awards – where she won a Lifetime Achievement award — she was asked how a Lifetime Achievement prize made her feel. She said: "Old." [Telegraph]
• A Mexican governor plans to empty a prison in Veracruz in January so that Mel Gibson can film a movie there. [AP]
• "Harvard Medical School professor contends U.S. talk show host Nancy Grace is partially to blame for the suicide of a mother of a missing boy three years ago." [UPI]
• I didn't read this item about how Hulk Hogan wants his antique toilet seat back from his ex-wife because I don't want to know. [TMZ]
• Hotel Gramercy Park premieres tonight on the Sundance Channel, and luminaries such as Debbie Harry, Julian Schnabel, Karl Lagerfeld, Ben Stiller, Winona Ryder, Russell Simmons and Kanye West make appearances in the film. [Page Six]
• John McEnroe and rocker wife Patty Smyth: Spotted smoking a joint at an art exhibit. [Page Six]
• "I've tried, but I get too crazy with that guitar arm and the things coming toward you… I think the game is great… I think the graphics are great."— Ringo Starr has never played Beatles: Rock Band. [Mirror]
• "I didn't really have that many friends at school. Kids would just heckle me: 'Oh, go sing that country beep.' It just dawned on me that I had to love being different or else I was going to end up being dark and angry and frustrated by school. Sometimes I felt like I was some sort of spy because I would go to school during the day, and then, after school, I had this life that was completely different. I definitely was more nervous walking into my first day of freshman year in high school than I was walking up to record labels and handing them my CD." — Taylor Swift. [NY Times]
• "I felt like that was fun. I would do it exactly the same way. You know, I am who I am." — Adam Lambert wouldn't change a thing about his AMA performance. [Gatecrasher]
• "We definitely got bigger than we wanted to be. You feel like you've done something wrong. That woman in mom jeans who'd never let me date her daughter? She likes my music. That's fucking not cool. You almost start doing damage control: When people ask you to do stuff, you're like, ‘No, because I can already tell this record is going to get to a level where people will fucking hate us.'" — Caleb Followill of Kings Of Leon. [Gatecrasher via Spin Magazine]
• "I hid out for a while, but that just drove me crazy. I got cabin fever. I was ready to make music again. It was a hard time, but I found peace in the studio." — Rihanna, on the making of her new album, Rated R. [USA Today]
• "The bottom line is, I really don't know how to relax to the degree that I could just stop. So when something comes along and is presented to me, and I think, 'Gee, I could have some fun doing that,' or 'I think I could bring something to that,' I'll do it."— Angela Lansbury, who is on Broadway in A Little Night Music with Catherine Zeta-Jones. [CBS News]
• Where do you live? "The May Fair hotel." But you must have a home somewhere? "My home is onstage." Where do you keep your things? "I have storage." Not even an apartment? "No. I don't care about those things. I tell my fans this little poem I wrote: For every minute of the day, The truth is that I'm dead, Until I'm here onstage with you -Then I'm alive instead." — from an interview with Lady Gaga. [Times Of London]
• "I'm not trying to be the girlfriend. I'm just kind of game. Often the role they send me is a man's role, written with a man in mind. But character is character; it's not about gender. Writers write these male stereotypes, and it makes it ten times more interesting if a woman says the lines." — Sigourney Weaver on the kind of roles she gets or looks for. Also, she says she once went to the White House, during the Reagan administration, when an 11-year-old Saudi Arabian prince and Ghostbusters fan had requested her presence at a dinner… he was disappointed that she didn't turn up as Zuul. [New York Mag]
• "He hissed at me yesterday. I tried to explain to him but he doesn't understand concepts such as international travel and work. He certainly doesn't understand the concept of a bikini. I am getting him a pet passport which means he can travel around as much as he likes. Unfortunately, they don't do photos. I was really looking forward to that." — Russell Brand on his cat, Morrissey. [Mirror]
• "I started auditioning here and I had the accent, the body and the attitude for the Latin woman, but they don't associate 'blond' with us. I went for a screen test, and they asked me to come with dark hair. I thought it looked better because I have darker eyebrows. So now they believe me that I'm Latin. [Laughs] I always joke that if they throw me in a chlorine pool, all my Latin is going away — my hair and my self-tanner!" — Sofia Vergara, on her role on Modern Family. She also says: "When I came to L.A., people started telling me I had to lose some weight. No one has ever told me in my life that I'm fat. Or that my breasts were too big! When I told my mother that my reps want me to get a reduction, she went crazy. 'God is going to punish you if you cut your [breasts].' …Mine are natural, so they go here and they go there and there's no dress that picks them up! When they told me to lose weight, I was like, are they playing a joke on me? I've always been known for my body! . . . . The thing is I did lose a little weight because I understand that standing next to the stick figures, I don't look as good in pictures. My friend says that the other actresses look better than me on TV because they're skinny. And I'm like, 'Yeah, but I look better naked!'" [LA Times]

• Chris Brown sat down with MTV's Sway to discuss his assault on Rihanna, noting that he's still unsure as to how the public perceives him and that he believes that "abuse of any kind is always wrong." [MTV]

• "I'm confused right now as far as the public perception [of me]," Brown tells MTV. "Like, I think with my fans, they still love me, they support me, definitely. You have those people who will support you. So it's kinda like 50/50 for me. I got the people that will come out and support and then the people that don't wanna see me do anything. They basically want me in jail." As for people calling him a "woman beater," Brown says, "I'm human, so when I hear certain things that they say or if I go somewhere and I hear somebody be rude about it, it's just like, 'Man, it's a mistake.' I made a big mistake. I'm learning from it. Like, I'm not saying, 'Who are they to judge?' because, I mean, everybody's entitled to their own opinion on how they feel, but it hurts." [MTV]
• Brown believes that "the details" on what happened between himself and Rihanna should remain "a private matter." [People]
• Taylor Swift says she's ready to host and perform on tonight's Saturday Night Live: "I told all the writers, ‘Don't count anything out. I want to completely go 100 percent in this'. I really, really don't want to be only halfway involved … just because I have a lot of things to do as far as being musical guest and host." [ShowbizSpy]
• Susan Boyle will stop by Dancing With The Stars next week to promote her upcoming album, which is set for release on November 24. "She's excited and happy," her brother, John Boyle, says "She loves America and loves the people. She appreciates their honesty." [People]
• Meanwhile, Boyle says she wasn't aware of what she looked like until she saw herself on television. "I saw this wee wifey with the mad hairdo and the bushy eyebrows and said, 'Hmmm, not really telegenic.' So, I decided to spruce myself up a bit. When I look in the mirror now, I see this sophisticated lady. I'm still a bit like that wee wifey inside, but more refined in some ways. I think any woman would have done the same. Would you want to look like the Hairy Angel? I don't think so." [DailyMail]
• "There are some things that have been really hurtful to me but you have to catch yourself. It's just an image that they're making fun of but it's just difficult to explain that to your children. They've had to defend me and their dad plenty of times. Tommy is an amazing musician, very talented, it doesn't make him a bad father and just because I'm covered in glitter it doesn't mean I'm a bad mum!"-Pamela Anderson [Mirror]
• This could be awesome: Ian McKellen is set to play his fictional brother, "Murray McKellen," in The Academy, an Office-style mockumentary "about a run-down drama school in London." [DailyExpress]
• Kristen Stewart officially graduated from high school on the set of Eclipse just as she was filming graduation scenes for her character, Bella Swan, and so she decided to combine the two: "The other day I was doing a graduation scene on Eclipse and I had just finished high school myself the week before, so I told the crew, 'Hey, just so you know, I'm actually graduating right now, and I'm not going to have another ceremony.' So I took a mock picture with an extra. I literally asked the actor to come back and shake my hand and hand me the diploma while I was dressed in a cap and gown." [DailyExpress]
• Tippi Hedren, who took in Michael Jackson's tigers, Thriller and Sabu, after he passed away, says the animals are doing just fine: "They're just great, and they were beautiful when they came to us. It took awhile to adjust, because anytime anybody moves, it's a period of adjustment. But they're wonderful and very beautiful." [NYDN]
• Robert Zemeckis says he'd like to have the two living Beatles take part in his upcoming remake of Yellow Submarine, but "we haven't gotten the word yet on the two surviving Beatles, whether they're interested in doing it or not." [DailyExpress]
• Joe Jackson is seeking a monthly stipend from his late son Michael's estate in order to help him cover roughly $15,000 a month in expenses. [Yahoo]
• Robert Pattinson says he's not really the romantic type, and that he's never serenaded anyone as "you need to have so much balls to do that, Jesus Christ. I put a flower on someone's locker when I was 15." [E!]
• Jennifer Lopez is planning to sue her ex-husband, Ojani Noa, over his plans to release "How I Married Jennifer Lopez: The JLo and Ojani Noa Story," a film based on the couple's relationship that allegedly includes several hours of home video footage, including scenes from the couple's honeymoon hotel room. [TMZ]
• "One of my favorite things is experiencing the spontaneous moment that only happens once. No matter how many times you perform, you never have the same moment twice. And I love that. I love the magic of that one moment in that one place shared only by myself and all the people who attended that night. It's our special connection. There's nothing like the energy, communication and unity that happens through music. Even if you don't speak the same language, you understand music."- Alicia Keys [Reuters]
• Sienna Miller has reportedly reunited with boyfriend DJ Slinky Wizard: "They seemed very much a couple," says a source, "George was talking about how he was excited about their plans for the night." [JustJared]
• Debra Winans is praising Oprah Winfrey after Oprah decided to ban Bebe Winans, Debra's ex-boyfriend, from the show "until his domestic violence case plays out." Debra gave TMZ the following statement: "It further demonstrates the fact that Oprah continues to be a strong voice against domestic violence and that she's willing to take the steps necessary to defend the defenseless." [TMZ]
• And speaking of Oprah, Stephenie Meyer will be stopping by her show on November 13. [StephenieMeyer]
• Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis are set to have a sex scene together in Darren Aronofsky's upcoming film, Black Swan, but Portman says the scene is "not raunchy - it's extreme." Portman also notes that as she gets older, she's more willing to take certain risks on film: "Previously I was figuring out my own sexual identity, likes and dislikes and all that stuff, and it's weird to be doing stuff on film as you're figuring it out. Also, being a sexual object when you're a kid is really uncomfortable. After The Professional, I was already getting creepy letters." [ONTD]
• For no real reason, here is a ridiculous picture of Jon Gosselin doing yoga. [USMagazine]
• Tim McGraw claims that his wife, Faith Hill is the reason he's still alive, and that without her, "I'd be dead. Oh yeah, I would have partied too hard. I might have caught myself somewhere along the way and put the brakes on. I don't know if I would have gone [to rehab]; I don't think I could have been talked into that during those times." [People]
• Police now claim that 19-year-old Rachel Lee was the ringleader of the so-called "Beverly Hills Burglar Bunch," and that her main motivation was, according to her 18-year-old accomplice, Nick Prugo, to "own the designer wardrobes of the Hollywood celebrities she admired." [NYTimes]
• Reeve Carney has been cast in the role of Peter Parker in Broadway's upcoming Spider-Man musical, Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark. The show, produced by Bono and directed by Julie Taymor is set to open in 2010. [NYDN]
• Eminem will be back on screen in a new 3-D film called Shady Talez, which, according to Entertainment Weekly, "is described as The Twilight Zone meets Creepshow." [EW]
• "I've met endless so-called beautiful people who don't seem to have personalities or a direction in life. They've never been forced to develop their characters because they're viewed as being so attractive. So I think beauty can be a mask."- Megan Fox [ShowbizSpy]

• Gisele Bundchen married Tom Brady again, this time in Costa Rica. They first got hitched in the U.S. in February. These days you can't be a celebrity and not have two or three ceremonies. [Breitbart, Mirror]

• Oh! But! There was gunfire at Gisele's wedding: Bodyguards shot at paparazzi. No one was injured, but the back window on an SUV was shattered. Says one snapper: "I could have lost my life for the sale of some pictures that Gisele didn't want published. Are they insane?" [NY Post]
• Madonna reportedly "shrieked in horror" when she found out that a judge was denying her adoption of Mercy. [Pop Dirt]
• Madonna has left Malawi in her private jet and is headed for London. [Star Tribune]
• Madonna is said to be "in pieces." [Daily Mail]
• And now Madonna is back in the UK; Guy Ritchie met her at the airport. They didn't seem to speak to each other but he had a big hug for David. [Daily Mail]
• Rihanna is partying in Barbados — it's her grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary. Her father says the singer is "back to herself." [Daily Mail]
• Meanwhile, Chris Brown is due in court today where he will do some "intense" plea dealing. [NY Daily News]
• Over the weekend, news broke that Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson had a huge fight and that Sam changed the locks at her house. Ouch! [TMZ]
• Lindsay was specifically asked not to attend a Charlotte Ronson party but showed up anyway. [Socialite Life]
• Did Lindsay go on a Twitter tirade? This report says she wrote: "Being cheated on does wonders to you. I'm doing this publicly because u&ur friends call People [magazine]. So you win, you broke my heart. Now go away. I loved you." So wait, Sam cheated? Also, not so long ago, you couldn't get LL to admit she was IN a gay relationship; now she announces the details to the whole world??? [This Is London]
• Farrah Fawcett, who has been battling cancer for almost three years, is in a hospital in L.A. [Reuters, RadarOnline]
• Meanwhile, her son, Redmond O'Neal, was busted for drugs yesterday. In the parking lot of a prison. Not a joke. Also, Ryan O'Neal says Farrah just went in for a procedure and "is not at death's door." [NY Post, EW]
• This report says the end is near for Farrah Fawcett. [MSNBC Scoop]
• This paper claims that doctors fear the worst for Farrah. [NY Post]
• Scandalous: Jennifer Aniston was seen smiling and laughing and generally having fun. [Gatecrasher]
• Dear Beyoncé, the bangs and the heels are understandable, but the suspenders? [Daily Mail]
• Paris Hilton says of Doug Reinhardt: "We're best friends. It's not like we just met. We've known each other over the past year. I was in a relationship before and we reconnected. I'm really in love and really happy. He's going to be my husband." Does that sound like a threat? [E!]
• There's a sneak peak of season five of The Hills up, and apparently the big question is whether Heidi and Lauren will reconcile. But the even bigger question is: Does anyone still care? [E!]
• Speaking of The Hills, Lauren Conrad's new guy, Kyle Howard, wants to marry her, so he took her mom and dad out for lunch — and picked up the tab. [Star]
• Ryan Gosling has a band, and the band has a video, and it's here. [Pop Sugar]
• Oh, Christ: After enduring all kinds of shit for those bikini pictures, now this headline from the Daily Fail: "Has Jennifer Love Hewitt Lost Too Much Weight?" [Daily Mail]
• Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher are shooting a flick called Five Killers and it appears that they kiss. [Socialite Life]
• "How Poor Suri Cruise Has Become A Style Victim At Just Three Years Of Age." [Daily Mail]
• Behold: Victoria Beckham in enormous shoulder pads. [Daily Mail]
• Gossip Girl's Blake Lively and Penn Badgley have left the country to vacation in Thailand and you have not. [Just Jared]
• It's not that Serena Williams can't find a pair of bikini bottoms that fit, it's that her derriere is awesome and will not be held down! [Daily Mail]
• Anna Kournikova took part in a triathlon in Miami on Sunday. [Daily Mail]
• Ooh, Seal will sing the National Anthem at the Red Sox/Tampa Bay Rays game today! [The Star]
• You may find this hard to believe, but Gary Coleman regrets doing a movie titled Midgets vs. Mascots. He has a YouTube rant explaining his mortgage made him do it. [Page Six]
• Possible new couple: 50 Cent and Ciara. [Page Six]
• Bai Ling wants you to know that Bai Ling never had sex with Mickey Rourke. [Page Six]
• A square-faced Jack Black slays demons with his guitar in a new video game called Brutal Legend. Check out his heart-shaped soul patch! [Wired]
• Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are not only back on, but looking for a "love nest" in Santa Monica. Megan wants ocean views because "she loves the beach and spotting dolphins." [Star Magazine]
• The series finale of ER did okay, ratings-wise, but not as well as Cheers or Friends. [AdAge]
• Miley Cyrus' wardrobe in the Hannah Montana movie is "clean cut, wholesome and decidedly demure." Are times changing?!?! [LA Times]
• Between Carrie Underwood, Taylor Swift and Julianne Hough, women ruled at the Academy of Country Music Awards. Do you have to be blonde and toothy, or is it just a coincidence? [Yahoo News ia AP]
• Christina Ricci will star in a "porn-tinged comedy" co-written by Adam Sandler. She'll play "an innocent girlfriend." [Hollywood Reporter]
• Jennifer Hudson's fans worry about her and can't stop talking about how they hope she doesn't cry while she is singing. [Washington Post]
• Jennifer Hudson says, "I'm fine, I'm happy." [USA Today]
• By now you must have heard: Demi Moore saved a suicidal woman's life via Twitter? [The Star]
• Brandon Michael Vayda, who plays Mike on 90210, pulled some guy out of a taxi and "beat the living crap out of him" outside of a nightclub. [TMZ]
• Alex DeSilva, a choreographer from So You Think You Can Dance, was arrested Saturday and charged with four counts of sexual assault. All of his victims were his students at the time. [E!]
• Fox's Roger Friedman wrote about the leaked flick Wolverine (which the FBI is investigating) in his column, saying, "It took really less than seconds to start playing it all right onto my computer." Now he's been fired. Whoops! [NY Times]
• Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr sang together for the first time in years at a benefit to introduce children to transcendental meditation. And yes, David Lynch runs the foundation in question. [Breitbart]
• Jeff Beck, Metallica, Run-DMC, Bobby Womack and Little Anthony and the Imperials were inducted into the hall of fame over the weekend. [NY Times]
• Fast & Furious sped away with a $72.5 million box office, which is huge. Huge. [Breitbart]
• Thousands lined the streets of London and Essex at the funeral of Jade Goody, which this paper calls "Princess Diana-style." [Daily Mail]'
• Jade Goody's family says they don't want her grave to be a shrine, "trampled by strangers." [The Sun]
• Blind item! "Which C-list Hollywood stud was so drunk and desperate that he showed up at the home of an L.A. gossip reporter and demanded a booty call? Guess what, folks? She accepted!" [Gatecrasher]
• "There's a time for celebration and I partake, sure. But you know, it's important not to let that become too big of a distraction. The more you have access to, the harder it is to remain focused. You know what, I do not want to fall victim to that, it's too easy and too often done. It's out of style anyway, I think too many people have done it before me, I'm not going to. It's uncool, yeah. I think the rebellious thing to do would to actually be successful." — Zac Efron on drinking and the Hollywood party scene. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I'm excited to not have everything scheduled in advance. I can just call up a friend and grab lunch. I can wear white when I want to — I could never do that on camera. I can go backless!" — Lauren Conrad, on her plans for her life after The Hills. [LA Times]
• "It's kind of like a self-aware observational comedy of the simplest thing in the world, which isn't so simple." — Bob Saget on his new show, Surviving Suburbia. [NY Daily News]
• "People will always say that I'm over-exposed and that's what I want, all this attention. That's not it. What I love is the art of it all." — Miley Cyrus. [NY Daily News]
• "Somebody said to me 'Well, you know what? You just got such a big mouth and you just know how to talk to people. Did you ever think about runnin' for president?' I said 'I think we've had enough boobs in the White House.'" — Dolly Parton. [CBS News]
• "Some of my best compliments are on a $15 Ross dress. Ross gets you a weird look, but I've rocked two or three good pieces from there over the years." — Rosario Dawson. [New York Mag]
• "Well, I certainly got hit on a lot. And a lotta men thought I was as silly as I looked, I guess. You know, I look like a woman but I think like a man. And in this world of business, that has helped me a lot. Because by the time they think that I don't know what's goin' on, I then got the money, and gone." — Dolly Parton. [CBS News]

• Did Madonna get "bored" playing dress-up on the English countryside? Andrew Morton writes that when friends found out the formerly skanky downtown vegetarian was out shooting birds, they gave the relationship 5 years. He adds: "The one thing Madonna hates more than chaos in her life is failure." Ritchie's movies "opened to less than rapturous reviews," but Madonna's new movie received high praise. "She has proved that she can live with fake. But not with failure." [The Daily Beast]
• Guy Ritchie spent the day his divorce was announced filming interior scenes for Sherlock Holmes. [People]
• Oh, snap: Guy Ritchie reportedly wants "not one penny" of Madonna's estimated £300 million fortune. Plus, he hates Kabbalah. [The Sun]
• Madonna hired divorce attorney Fiona Shackleton, who repped Prince Motherfucking Charles, as well as Sir Paul McCartney. And yeah, there's no pre-nup. [Perez Hilton]
• Madonna in concert: "This song is for the emotionally retarded. Maybe you know some people who fall into that category. I know I do." [Mirror]
• A source says Gwyneth Paltrow "begged" Madonna all summer "not to be an idiot" and let her marriage fall apart. Gwynnie wanted them to keep it together for the kids. [Digital Spy]

• Guy Ritchie is moving out of the London house. Madonna might move to New York, though. Lourdes maybe wants to move to NYC to be near her bio-dad, Carlos Leon. What will happen to Rocco and David? What about the children? [Perez Hilton]
• Madonna's been "closer" to Carlos Leon lately. [The Sun]
• Guy Ritchie allegedly tells a friend: "I'm afraid the laughs in our life together were long gone. She's obsessed with her own public image, obsessed with being seen as some kind of global soothsayer. It's silly, she's a pop star. There was a time when she used to have a sense of humour about herself. In the last few years, she just got angry." [Mirror]
• Guy calls the marriage a "three ring circus" that had to end. [Mirror]
• Guess who is waiting in the wings, learning Kabbalah? Alex Rodriguez. [E!]
• DJ AM made his first big public appearance at a benefit concert Tuesday night in Hollywood. The 5-hour show was a "Welcome Home" celebration and Mark Ronson, Mix Master Mike, Steve Aoki, and That 70s Show's Danny Masterson spun tunes on stage while AM watched and sang along. [People]
• DJ AM says that after Travis Barker wrenched open the emergency exit after the plane crash, "I tried to cover my face as I jumped through a fireball. As soon as I hit the ground, I remembered, 'Stop, drop and roll.' So I started rolling." [ET]
• Amy Winehouse "lost it" in a recording studio, blamed "Satan" for her drug problems and then smashed up a £3,000 guitar. [The Sun]
• Amy will DJ tonight at London pub The Monarch! Maybe she'll spin the records backwards! [Mirror]
• Quentin Tarantino has changed the name of his film Inglorious Bastards to InglOURious BastERds, which is much, much better. [Perez Hilton]
• Aniston & Mayer: Late dinner at the Sunset Tower Hotel in L.A. [People]
• Denis Leary is defending his statements about autism: He says critics obviously haven't read his book. "They missed the sections I thought made my feelings about autism very clear: that I not only support the current rational approaches to the diagnoses and treatment of real autism but have witnessed it firsthand while watching very dear old friends raise a functioning autistic child." [E!]
• Stevie Wonder's house: Burned! In the L.A. wildfires! A source says: "Everything was destroyed - all of Stevie's memorabilia, photos, musical instruments, history, clothing, furniture, everything. It's all gone. It was his main residence and he is utterly devastated. Stevie's had to put his tour and appearances on hold while he deals with this." [Page Six]
• A statement has been issued that reads: "In light of continuous speculation over the lives and marriage of Tea Leoni and David Duchovny, the couple has confirmed that they have in fact been separated for several months. the statement says. The couple had hoped to keep this separation private for the sake of their children." [People]
• Reese Witherspoon gave Jake Gyllenhaal a "sexy lingerie show" while shopping in London. She beckoned him into the changing room and Jake watched as she "wiggled into various bra and panty sets, including an itsy-bitsy pair of purple panties and a matching push-up bra." [Star]
• Lauren Conrad might go to colleges to talk to students about dating abuse and violence. She works with Mark Cosmetics' M-Powerment campaign for young women. [E!]
• LC and Heidi reconciled!!! Lauren was at a restaurant celebrating her runway show at LA Fashion Week with family and friends. Spencer and Heidi were at the bar eating dinner. Heidi spotted LC and the two ended up hugging. [ONTD, Us]
• Angelina Jolie found out that she was pregnant right before she started filming "harrowing" scenes set in a mental institution for Changeling. [NY Times]
• When will Tina Fey be back on SNL? "I don't know," Fey says. [CNN]
• The first day in Britney's driving without a license trial ended without a juror being seated. One man labeled the idea of a trial "ridiculous." [USA Today]
• Britney didn't show up, btw. [LA Times]
• Um, Lynne Spears is in talks to turn her book, Through The Storm, into a movie. What's that saying? Oh yes: *Headdesk*. [Perez Hilton]
• Janet Jackson's mystery illness: migraine-associated vertigo. She's feeling better and has resumed touring. [USA Today]
• Peter Cook/teenage assistant sex tape: It exists. [Page Six]
• Christina Aguilera showed some kind of X-rated video clip during her This Day Africa Rising charity concert at London's Royal Albert Hall. Classy! [Mirror]
• Last week the More magazine's Women In Hollywood luncheon had a "stellar panel," including: Cybill Shepherd (as moderator), S. Epatha Merkerson (Law & Order), Polly Draper (Thirtysomething and the creator of the Naked Brothers Band), Kate Mulgrew (Star Trek Voyager) and Talia Balsam (Mad Men). The ladies talked about how hard it is for women and minorities to find quality parts. Balsam said, "We live in a celebrity focused world and that is harder to fight than age. They want me in my 40s to play the part of the grandmother." There's more if you click. [Women & Hollywood]
• Queen Latifah talks about beekeeping, The Secret Life Of Bees, confidence and Barack Obama: "I've been voting since I was 18 years old," she says: "I think it's such a powerful thing; I like it, it's fun to me, it's exciting, you feel like you're part of the process, and you feel like you have say-so." [Premiere]
• Ryan O'Neal and son Redmond: Both charged with possession of methamphetamine, a felony. [AP]
• Khloe Kardashian had to go to the morgue yesterday, as part of her DUI penance. [E!]
• Jade Jagger was trying to build an eco-home in Cotswold Water Park, near Cirencester, Gloucestershire. But a rare orchid caused developers to move the location. [Telegraph]
• Kelly Osbourne has started a "band" with two Radio 1 DJs. The "band" is called OMG. It's just a silly video. [Mirror]
• Ringo Starr says his ban on fan mail was "in direct response to an inordinate amount of items which have recently appeared for sale on eBay" and that all the mail is "a waste of paper and we all should be mindful of our carbon footprint" and that fans can still email him. He also said, "Please read this in a mellow way. Peace and love." [Rolling Stone]
• A new Muppet movie? For adults? The Happytime Murders would take place in a world where humans co-exist with puppets. [Perez Hilton]
• Kevin Costner's wife is pregnant with her second child. [Star]
• Brad Paisley and Kimberly Williams are expecting a second child. [People]
• Lisa Bonet: Expecting her third child. Daddy is hot hottie Jason Momoa. [People]
• Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes: Posthumous album. [Perez Hilton]
• Molly Ringwald has come out… Against Proposition 8. Cute video! [E!]
• Despite what you may have heard, Holly Madison is not looking for a new sugar daddy. "Where do these stories come from?" she asks. "I'm adjusting to the single life, and looking forward
  to the adventures ahead!" [ONTD]
• ABBA's Bjorn found innocent in Swedish tax evasion case. Winner takes it all… [UPI]
• Jay Leno: Being sued by the estate of a Macy's department store heir over a rare vintage car. [Reuters]
• Headline of the day: "They said it wouldn't last. But months later, Ronnie Wood's still with his Russian floozy, downing two bottles of vodka a day . . . and heading for a £70m divorce" [Daily Mail]
• OMG a remake of The Monkees. "Producers are already on the hunt for four hunky surfer dude types to play an updated version of the original boyband." I'm not your stepping stone! [The Sun]
• "ID LOVE IF THE INDUSTRY COULD ONE DAY UNDERSTAND THAT THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN OBESITY AND FAT AND THICK AND THIN AND SICK. I AM A THICK GIRL, I HAVE NEVER BEEN OVER A SIZE 12, I CAN RUN, AND I TRY MY BEST TO EAT RIGHT ALL THE TIME. I AM NOT THE TEXT BOOK WEIGHT THAT THEY SAY I SHOULD BE, BUT EVERYDAY I HAVE MY OWN PERSONAL STRUGGLES, AND I THINK THAT PEOPLE NEED TO RESPECT THAT." — just a mere snippet of a long MySpace blog written by Raven Symone. [ONTD]
• "I mean, I know we seem crazy, just bringing them in one after the other, but we do plan. We make sure one is absorbed completely into the family before we add another. There are moments when we look at everyone around the dinner table, and it’s just crazy, but our family is the greatest thing we’ve done in our lives." — Angelina Jolie, on having more kids. [NY Times]
• "I blocked out second grade completely. I have no recollection of it. I always talk to my mom and my grandma about it. It was because I cried every day. I didn't understand the culture. I didn't understand the people. I didn't understand the language. My first sentence of my essay to get into college was like, 'Imagine being blind and deaf at age seven.' And that's kind of what it felt like moving to the States. But I got over it pretty fast." — Mila Kunis, who arrived in L.A. from the Ukraine at age 7. [LA Times]
• "I did hear there was a rumour going around and my agent actually got a couple of calls about it so he checked it out. Apparently I’m on a list but I’m not sure what list exactly! I hope it’s not a sex offenders register!" — Ricky Gervais, on whether he'll host The Oscars. [Daily Express]
• "I don't believe you have to be monogamous, but you have to be respectful. Don't come home and say: 'Oh, I've just had sex with someone else.'" — Boy George, to the Times of London. [Page Six]
• "Right now, we’re not cool Mom and Dad. Even video games, you know, it’s: 'Mom, you can’t play this. You won’t know how.' Oh, they all think I can’t do anything, that I’m just there to snuggle with. But the other day Madd said, 'Can you do a cartwheel?' And I said, 'Yeah, I can.' And he was like, 'Wow, Mom.' And I thought: 'Oh, yeah. I can do some things. You wait. You’ll find out. I’m capable.'" — Angelina Jolie. [NY Times]