I heard a clip of Rihanna describing the abuse she experienced in Chris Brown's car that night as I was driving to work, and I lost my shit in the car. Then again at work in the bathroom. I felt like the biggest loser, all slumped over sobbing silently in the stall. That was some fucking triggering shit she was talking about, but you know what? I'm glad she talked about it, because she spoke TRUTH. I am so close-lipped in my real life about what happened to be, because I am so deeply ashamed of it, because I feel like I will be judged over and over again and found wanting in every way, and so for her to talk so honestly about what she went through means the fucking world to me. It's worth a few ill-timed crying jags in the bathroom, you know?
I am shocked by how much her honesty and openness has meant to me, as I am not a celebrity worshipper at all. It's a strange feeling, and I am not really sure what to make of it. #rihannaeffect
@whynotshesaid: Can't watch it without tearing up. Usually when people go public with these matters, it's in the past & they can have a certain detachment from it. She's still in the middle of all of this & the pain is totally palpable.
I haven't been abused by a bf, but had a one time incident with my dad as my parents were getting divorced where he picked me up, slammed me against a wall & was choking me... at 13 yrs old, 100 lbs vs. 250.
I know it's not the same as being abused by a bf, but being hurt by someone you love - whom ever that may be is heartbreaking. You are supposed to be able to trust those you love & the realization that you can't - it's not healthy - is devastating... you can just see it in her. #rihannaeffect
@mikaelamac: I can relate to this too. I had a similar experience with my dad. My dad was an awesome, loving father throughout my childhood and never abused me. Then, when I was 21, we got into a heated argument and he threw me down on the floor and wouldn't stop hitting me in the side of the head. He wasn't punching me, just hitting me with the palm of his hand. What he didn't realize is that the other side of my face was hitting the floor everytime he smacked me so I ended up going to the hospital with a black eye. Needless to say, it took over a year to forgive my dad for having to go through that ordeal even though he was extremely sorry and ashamed of what he did. He still tells me that it was the worst moment in his life, and I know it still weighs on him, even three years later. #rihannaeffect
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Edited by Armed with Vitriol at 11/09/09 3:53 PM
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@whynotshesaid: I feel the same way. I've cried every time I listened to her. It's a nice release in a way, to hear someone be so honest about the abuse she suffered. I'm not glad it happened to her, but I'm glad she's talking about it. I know it's helping me-- I imagine it's helping others. #rihannaeffect
Glad to hear that it's having a positive impact. I was all ragey last week when reading that Chris Brown thought it should have been "private" between them.
Okay Chris, a) it never was private. Not only are the two of you famous, but I'm sure the entire LAPD, not to mention anyone at the hospital, knew what happened. She had to give her statement to numerous people, as did you I imagine. So on the surface, in the most basic definition, it never was private. Beyond that, b) you want us to believe that you've matured, learned your lesson? Own the fuck up to what you did. Don't hide it, don't try to make it go away. Flippant apologies don't work. Admit what you did. Hiding it only adds to the stigma, making it worse. Isn't one of the steps to recovery atonement?
It's amazing how one simple statement could ignite so much anger in me. #rihannaeffect
@EkaterinaBallerina: Of course he'd want it to be private. He beat up a woman quite viciously and he's worried about his career.
I completely understand your anger and I'm continuously amazed at how nonchalant he insists on being with half-assed apologies and excuses. #rihannaeffect
This is really amazing. The numbers of calls to helplines going up so drastically just warms my cold little heart. We've been saying that she could help people, but I didn't expect that much, that immediate of an impact. Wow.
I'm not satisfied with Diane saying "the night Rihanna was hit by her boyfriend", that completely minimizes what she went through. #rihannaeffect
@yvanehtnioj: I agree. Diane herself read the police report aloud during the interview, so she knows that the attack was much more brutal than just being hit.
Also, I think grammar counts here...I hate the use of passive voice when talking about domestic violence.
"Chris Brown attacked Rihanna" is more accurate, both grammatically and truthfully than "Rihanna was hit by her boyfriend." #rihannaeffect
@BeckySharper: She added to my aggravation at the end with her big "This was the only time he hit her hard enough to bruise" disclaimer while miming being punched in the face. If I may, Ms. Sawyer, a few thoughts:
1. The statement the survivor made was specifically about abuse leading up to physical, Diane. You can be abused before being battered.
2. What the hell is up with punching in the face as the standard for abuse? Well he shoved her into a wall, but it's not like he punched her in the face! This is an arbitrary and quite shockingly high standard for violence; it's unhelpful; it's apologist; stop it.
3. Quit mealymouthing. Seriously. Chris Brown does not need another defender minimizing his actions in the media, he's doing that all by himself.
@yvanehtnioj: Not to mention that it doesn't matter if this is the only time he left a bruise. So physical evidence is the only thing that makes someone's abuse worth discussing? #rihannaeffect
Too often, domestic abuse is treated as a private matter, especially by people who think once a man has married a woman he owns her (that may sound extreme, but then marital rape only became illegal in many states in the 1990s). #rihannaeffect
@Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!: Unfortunately enough to make me spit sometimes, people still think that, marital rape statute or no marital rape statute. #rihannaeffect
I'm really pleased that she did speak out, and I think it's interesting that Chris Brown has said that it should be 'private'. A friend of mine was beaten by her then partner, and they were supposed to go to a party a couple of days later. He was trying to persuade her not to go, but she insisted that she was fine, and when they got there and people said 'what happened to you', she said, 'oh, ***** hit me'. She then kicked him to the kerb, there was no way she was going to let him normalise this.
So many women I know say 'I would never let a man hit me, I'd get out first', and I always think, 'I don't know, I've never been in that situation', and I'm not about to make the assumption that it would never happen to me. Too many of my smart, strong friends have been hit, I don't think that any of us are immune. #rihannaeffect
@toadaleh: I never would say "I won't LET someone hit me." It's not like women let this happen, it just does. But I do say that I wouldn't let it happen twice. #rihannaeffect
@Working-for-the-weekend: On another thread someone (I forget who) said that if you can say with complete certainty that you would break up with your partner after they cheated on/hit you, you've never been cheated on/hit. I think it's much the same as what @toadaleh said above. You've never been in that situation, and you really don't know if you'd have the clarity to be able to make that decision.
While I applaud the distinction you make that you don't "let" it happen. But isn't your next sentence just a continuation of causing the victim to be ashamed of her situation? (I'm really asking this, not saying it to be snarky!) What do you think? #rihannaeffect
@thebigm42: I didn't think about it this way, but I certainly don't mean for it to sound like that. I think I see it a little differently since my mom was in an abusive relationship so I developed a resolve from being in that situation. I don't know if that makes any sense at all, but in my brain I just made that decision after seeing the actual dynamics of an abusive relationship. #rihannaeffect
@thebigm42: I don't think it's helpful to frame women who have strong boundaries as snobs or unsupportive or judgmental. You can understand the factors that make a woman go back to an abuser, feel sympathy for that woman, refuse to blame her for continued abuse, and support her even if you think that you wouldn't do the same thing.
Women are different. I can know that I would leave without shaming women that are continual abuse victims. It's a function of different personalities, support systems, awareness, etc. #rihannaeffect
@Working-for-the-weekend: I see what you're saying and have probably said the same thing before, but I've also heard the same thing from women who have been in abusive relationships. Theirs were 'different,' somehow. Like scary alleyway rapists, abusers are supposed to be kicking puppies and yelling at their girlfriends in public, instead of being sweet and manipulative as they convince their girlfriends that they're 'making' them hit them (and that they would never, ever do it again).
99 percent of me thinks I'd never end up in an abusive relationship because no abuser would ever consider me an easy target. But I've seen enough smart, strong women get beaten down emotionally and physically, 1 percent of me knows it can't be that easy.
@Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!: Right. The key is that the relationship doesn't start with abuse. If it did, many MANY women would not stand for it. You hit a girl on the first date, you don't get a second one.
Abuse tends to start much later in the relationship, or after marriage. As much as people say it would never happen to them, or never happen to them twice, the stakes are usually high when it starts. #rihannaeffect
@Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!: I agree completely. It's really hard to just make policies about what you will and won't accept outside of the context of a specific relationship. Every person is different, and every relationship is different.
It's really, really easy to think "Oh, that would never happen to me, the signs are so obvious, how could she let it get that bad?" And reading this thread and watching the clip just made me start crying at my kitchen table. The thing is, I am one of those smart, strong women that ended up in an abusive relationship. It's not like he whacks you upside the head one time and then your best friends have some dramatic intervention and help you gather up your stuff and the group of you drive off into the sunset and out of his life forever, and you are suddenly free, with no lasting effects, and no fear. You wake up one morning and realize that you have no idea who you are and that you have no control over your own body and your own life. My ex never explicitly hit me - his abuse took the form of systematic date rape because my sex drive wasn't high enough to "meet his needs", but still. I'm not an idiot, and I'm not a weak-willed person, but love and relationships are weird. I thought he loved me, and I thought that I loved him, and that would somehow just make it all okay, until this one day when he looked me in the eye and told me that no one would ever care about me as much as he did, and that he didn't want me spending time with my guy friends any more. It was so textbook and so ridiculous that I knew I had to get out of there. And it hasn't just gone away, and I'm still not completely okay.
Sorry to just vomit this out, but I think this is a cathartic experience for a lot of women, and I think that it's really important that we tell our stories. #rihannaeffect
From the National Coalition of Men: "Pop singer Rihanna recently made a widely publicized statement to Glamour Magazine that she wants to "shed light on the reality of domestic violence." The National Coalition For Men (NCFM) calls on Rihanna to discuss her own reported violence against Brown as well if she wants to shed light on the problem honestly.
According to court records and other sources, Rihanna struck Brown in the face "numerous times" before Brown assaulted her. NCFM purports although that would not justify his more severe assault, her violence should not be ignored, and if she does not "woman up" to it then her message will be the usual one-sided double standards that leave female perpetration covered up.
The saying, "There is no excuse for domestic violence," applies to both sexes. Female violence in relationships is not rare but is often hypocritically deemed acceptable or humorous, such as in the film, Sideways. It is part of the cycle of domestic violence, which cannot be stopped without addressing the problem honestly. Children are damaged just by witnessing domestic violence, regardless of its severity. A 32-nation study by the University of New Hampshire found women are as violent and as controlling as men in relationships worldwide #rihannainterview
Having been in toxic relationships, I can understand how hard it must be for Rihanna to express hate for someone she loves. Much like grief, she will continue an ever-evolving process. Today, she may still love him and wish him well. Tomorrow, she may pity him or even hate him. Eventually, she may even be indifferent to him. I don't think she needs to put this behind her as much as to move forward stronger and more aware.
I wish Rihanna well and I hope she's on her way to having a great life. #rihannainterview
I once heard her say something in an interview that always stuck with me. It was a couple of years ago and someone asked her if she and Chris were dating. At the time their relationship was on the DL so she tried to laugh it off and when the interviewer persisted she said that he was her best best friend and she loved him like a brother and they had only recently become involved. The reason she gave was that she needed him around because she was stuck in a business where she was with old people all the time (she was 19 then, he was 18) and he was the only person she had in her life with whom she felt like she was allowed to act her age, to be herself, to just be Robyn (her real name), instead of the persona "Rihanna." I remember the interview because the quote always struck me as sad and lonely and somewhat displaced. As someone who left home to come to the U.S as a teenager under far less demanding circumstances (college) it really resonated with me and a thought suddenly hit me that she was kind of like a teenage immigrant of sorts--someone who had left her small country to seek fame, was mostly alone here, surrounded by scant or no family, spending all her days with people she worked with or people who worked for her.
To be clear, I think Chris Brown is a piece of horseshit who has yet to take full responsibility and I loathe the fact that the public might use this interview to absolve him. Moreover, i've never been hit by a lover before so I am aware of the fact that I lack a visceral understanding about her experience in that sense. But what I have experienced before is being in love with someone I considered my best friend, and being in a relationship with them in a place and a time when I felt like I had no one else, no one else who "got" me, no one else who knew what I was going through, no one else who I could fundamentally relate to. That creates a dependency that makes you love a person without reason I think, because you not only find love in them, you create home in them. You make them your safe place.
It's a dependency that doesn't end when the relationship ends. Instead it creates a cognitive dissonance where after the breakup you have to make them a good person who did bad things as opposed to a bad person who you were tricked into believing was good or a bad person with good moments, because at the time when your relationship with them ends you feel like you have not only lost a lover you have lost something akin to a family member. And no one wants to admit that there are bad genes in their family. No one wants to admit that they loved someone so dark and so damaged. Because, their secret fear is, then it hints at or suggests some possible damage or deep sense of worthlessness in they themselves. It's a deeper thing, I think, than even the feeling of embarrassment she mentions. What she is dealing with a deep sense of shame that someone she consistently considered the foremost person in her life thought little enough of her overall, and so little of her in that moment, that he was willing to hurt her so badly.
When someone is your "best friend" in your mind--not just your boyfriend, or your lover but your best friend-- it's almost like you revert back to class one (first grade) honor codes. You find a way to take some responsibility for the person's actions because you think of yourselves as a unit. You proclaim your allegiance to them publicly. You don't pick someone else at the swings. Most importantly, you protect them from "bullies" or "enemies". You don't let anyone be mean to them. You've done it for so long that it's almost instinctive. Speaking badly about them publicly feels like tattle-taling. And no one wants to be a tattletale on their friend.
She is struggling so hard with that part of the loyalty code you can see the strain on her face. Add to it the other loyalty code: the historical tenet of "black people don't wash their dirty laundry in front of white people" thing, that black women don't rat out black men, that black women stand by their people and don't embarass the race in front of white folks, that no one likes snitches etc etc etc .... and you can see that the girl is doing the best she can. I am surprised she is even able to do this much considering the kind of emotional stuff she is up against. #rihannainterview
Black-out is not an excuse at all but I know EXACTLY what she is talking about. An ex-boyfriend attacked me when I was about her age: when he choked me I was looking right into his eyes and they were empty, dead, looked completely unlike I'd ever seen them look before. Then some light came back into his eyes and they started to return to normal and it was as if he suddenly realized what he was doing, standing there, choking me. And he let go of me and ran out of my apartment.
Even though he was my first love and it was very intense... I didn't love him after that and I didn't wish him well. I didn't with him ill either, I just wished him FAR AWAY FROM ME AND MY LIFE FOREVER. #rihannainterview
It really seems like she took the time to think things through and understand her emotions and what she was going through, which is great. So many times celebs like her who go through very public personal challenges seem to get deeper into trouble because they are surrounded by bad influences. It seems Rihanna's family/shrink/support system did something right. I really want her and her career to survive this. #rihannainterview
This part of the interview feels so different from yesterday's. Yesterday, the clip was talking about how embarrassed she was, how she needed to be a role model, how it was not her fault. In today's clip, she admits that it was both of them that provoked the fight, that he was her best friend, and that she was in love with him and still cares for him considerably.
Not to say that either is a bad clip -- I think yesterday's clip was important for people to see that she does realize the impact of her decisions and she has grown incredibly since then -- but today, I really felt where she was coming from for the first time. I can't even imagine how it would be to find your best friend, your boyfriend attacking you like that. I think she conducted herself very well in this interview and was very honest, and I'm glad that even though she still cares for him she isn't running back to him.
Even if he puts out some desperate songs that are clearly about wanting to be with her (ugh I can't stand listening to him!). #rihannainterview
After seeing clips from Rhianna's interview and clips from Chris Brown's, I can believe the immense difference between their dispositions. Rhianna just looks so sad and heavy, while Brown is so light and all of this doesn't really seem to bother him. It's freaky how little he seems to have been emotionally affected by this. #rihannainterview
The point I think she is making is that there are many shades of gray in relationships - most people aren't wholly good or wholly evil. The contradiction of loving someone who does horrible things is hard to wrap our (society's) collective brain around. How many times do people say "but he's so nice" or "I don't think he could ever do such and such?"
I just finished reading "The Gift of Fear" and he talks quite a bit about violence against women, the cycle of abuse, and how difficult some people find it to truly look underneath the facade that's presented to the public by violent people. #rihannainterview
What I'm most struck by in this interview is her honesty. She could have very easily used some flack-packaged outright condemnation and instead chose a more nuanced- and truthful- path. It's rare to see someone speak this publicly and thoughtfully about such a loaded, complex, and intensely private pain. #rihannainterview
@4000Sonnets: I definitely felt like she was speaking from the heart here. I really found both clips hard to watch because her emotions seem really close to the surface and her words seem raw and unscripted. It must have taken a lot of guts for her to do these interviews, knowing that people were going to pick apart whatever she said -- and I do think she deserves props for speaking her mind. #rihannainterview
11/09/09
Because it's not that bad I guess if you don't get hit in the face. #rihannaeffect
11/09/09
I am shocked by how much her honesty and openness has meant to me, as I am not a celebrity worshipper at all. It's a strange feeling, and I am not really sure what to make of it. #rihannaeffect
11/09/09
I haven't been abused by a bf, but had a one time incident with my dad as my parents were getting divorced where he picked me up, slammed me against a wall & was choking me... at 13 yrs old, 100 lbs vs. 250.
I know it's not the same as being abused by a bf, but being hurt by someone you love - whom ever that may be is heartbreaking. You are supposed to be able to trust those you love & the realization that you can't - it's not healthy - is devastating... you can just see it in her. #rihannaeffect
11/09/09
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11/09/09
Okay Chris, a) it never was private. Not only are the two of you famous, but I'm sure the entire LAPD, not to mention anyone at the hospital, knew what happened. She had to give her statement to numerous people, as did you I imagine. So on the surface, in the most basic definition, it never was private. Beyond that, b) you want us to believe that you've matured, learned your lesson? Own the fuck up to what you did. Don't hide it, don't try to make it go away. Flippant apologies don't work. Admit what you did. Hiding it only adds to the stigma, making it worse. Isn't one of the steps to recovery atonement?
It's amazing how one simple statement could ignite so much anger in me. #rihannaeffect
11/09/09
Note to Chris Brown: When you assault someone, the police get involved and it becomes a public matter. Breaking the law sucks like that.
One way to avoid it: don't assault anyone. #rihannaeffect
11/09/09
I completely understand your anger and I'm continuously amazed at how nonchalant he insists on being with half-assed apologies and excuses. #rihannaeffect
11/09/09
I'm not satisfied with Diane saying "the night Rihanna was hit by her boyfriend", that completely minimizes what she went through. #rihannaeffect
11/09/09
Also, I think grammar counts here...I hate the use of passive voice when talking about domestic violence.
"Chris Brown attacked Rihanna" is more accurate, both grammatically and truthfully than "Rihanna was hit by her boyfriend." #rihannaeffect
11/09/09
1. The statement the survivor made was specifically about abuse leading up to physical, Diane. You can be abused before being battered.
2. What the hell is up with punching in the face as the standard for abuse? Well he shoved her into a wall, but it's not like he punched her in the face! This is an arbitrary and quite shockingly high standard for violence; it's unhelpful; it's apologist; stop it.
3. Quit mealymouthing. Seriously. Chris Brown does not need another defender minimizing his actions in the media, he's doing that all by himself.
xoxo, yvanehtnioj #rihannaeffect
11/09/09
11/09/09
11/09/09
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11/09/09
So many women I know say 'I would never let a man hit me, I'd get out first', and I always think, 'I don't know, I've never been in that situation', and I'm not about to make the assumption that it would never happen to me. Too many of my smart, strong friends have been hit, I don't think that any of us are immune. #rihannaeffect
11/09/09
11/09/09
While I applaud the distinction you make that you don't "let" it happen. But isn't your next sentence just a continuation of causing the victim to be ashamed of her situation? (I'm really asking this, not saying it to be snarky!) What do you think? #rihannaeffect
11/09/09
11/09/09
11/09/09
Women are different. I can know that I would leave without shaming women that are continual abuse victims. It's a function of different personalities, support systems, awareness, etc. #rihannaeffect
11/09/09
99 percent of me thinks I'd never end up in an abusive relationship because no abuser would ever consider me an easy target. But I've seen enough smart, strong women get beaten down emotionally and physically, 1 percent of me knows it can't be that easy.
11/09/09
Abuse tends to start much later in the relationship, or after marriage. As much as people say it would never happen to them, or never happen to them twice, the stakes are usually high when it starts. #rihannaeffect
11/09/09
11/09/09
It's really, really easy to think "Oh, that would never happen to me, the signs are so obvious, how could she let it get that bad?" And reading this thread and watching the clip just made me start crying at my kitchen table. The thing is, I am one of those smart, strong women that ended up in an abusive relationship. It's not like he whacks you upside the head one time and then your best friends have some dramatic intervention and help you gather up your stuff and the group of you drive off into the sunset and out of his life forever, and you are suddenly free, with no lasting effects, and no fear. You wake up one morning and realize that you have no idea who you are and that you have no control over your own body and your own life. My ex never explicitly hit me - his abuse took the form of systematic date rape because my sex drive wasn't high enough to "meet his needs", but still. I'm not an idiot, and I'm not a weak-willed person, but love and relationships are weird. I thought he loved me, and I thought that I loved him, and that would somehow just make it all okay, until this one day when he looked me in the eye and told me that no one would ever care about me as much as he did, and that he didn't want me spending time with my guy friends any more. It was so textbook and so ridiculous that I knew I had to get out of there. And it hasn't just gone away, and I'm still not completely okay.
Sorry to just vomit this out, but I think this is a cathartic experience for a lot of women, and I think that it's really important that we tell our stories. #rihannaeffect
11/06/09
According to court records and other sources, Rihanna struck Brown in the face "numerous times" before Brown assaulted her. NCFM purports although that would not justify his more severe assault, her violence should not be ignored, and if she does not "woman up" to it then her message will be the usual one-sided double standards that leave female perpetration covered up.
The saying, "There is no excuse for domestic violence," applies to both sexes. Female violence in relationships is not rare but is often hypocritically deemed acceptable or humorous, such as in the film, Sideways. It is part of the cycle of domestic violence, which cannot be stopped without addressing the problem honestly. Children are damaged just by witnessing domestic violence, regardless of its severity. A 32-nation study by the University of New Hampshire found women are as violent and as controlling as men in relationships worldwide #rihannainterview
11/06/09
I wish Rihanna well and I hope she's on her way to having a great life. #rihannainterview
11/06/09
To be clear, I think Chris Brown is a piece of horseshit who has yet to take full responsibility and I loathe the fact that the public might use this interview to absolve him. Moreover, i've never been hit by a lover before so I am aware of the fact that I lack a visceral understanding about her experience in that sense. But what I have experienced before is being in love with someone I considered my best friend, and being in a relationship with them in a place and a time when I felt like I had no one else, no one else who "got" me, no one else who knew what I was going through, no one else who I could fundamentally relate to. That creates a dependency that makes you love a person without reason I think, because you not only find love in them, you create home in them. You make them your safe place.
It's a dependency that doesn't end when the relationship ends. Instead it creates a cognitive dissonance where after the breakup you have to make them a good person who did bad things as opposed to a bad person who you were tricked into believing was good or a bad person with good moments, because at the time when your relationship with them ends you feel like you have not only lost a lover you have lost something akin to a family member. And no one wants to admit that there are bad genes in their family. No one wants to admit that they loved someone so dark and so damaged. Because, their secret fear is, then it hints at or suggests some possible damage or deep sense of worthlessness in they themselves. It's a deeper thing, I think, than even the feeling of embarrassment she mentions. What she is dealing with a deep sense of shame that someone she consistently considered the foremost person in her life thought little enough of her overall, and so little of her in that moment, that he was willing to hurt her so badly.
When someone is your "best friend" in your mind--not just your boyfriend, or your lover but your best friend-- it's almost like you revert back to class one (first grade) honor codes. You find a way to take some responsibility for the person's actions because you think of yourselves as a unit. You proclaim your allegiance to them publicly. You don't pick someone else at the swings. Most importantly, you protect them from "bullies" or "enemies". You don't let anyone be mean to them. You've done it for so long that it's almost instinctive. Speaking badly about them publicly feels like tattle-taling. And no one wants to be a tattletale on their friend.
She is struggling so hard with that part of the loyalty code you can see the strain on her face. Add to it the other loyalty code: the historical tenet of "black people don't wash their dirty laundry in front of white people" thing, that black women don't rat out black men, that black women stand by their people and don't embarass the race in front of white folks, that no one likes snitches etc etc etc .... and you can see that the girl is doing the best she can. I am surprised she is even able to do this much considering the kind of emotional stuff she is up against. #rihannainterview
11/07/09
11/06/09
Even though he was my first love and it was very intense... I didn't love him after that and I didn't wish him well. I didn't with him ill either, I just wished him FAR AWAY FROM ME AND MY LIFE FOREVER. #rihannainterview
11/06/09
11/06/09
Not to say that either is a bad clip -- I think yesterday's clip was important for people to see that she does realize the impact of her decisions and she has grown incredibly since then -- but today, I really felt where she was coming from for the first time. I can't even imagine how it would be to find your best friend, your boyfriend attacking you like that. I think she conducted herself very well in this interview and was very honest, and I'm glad that even though she still cares for him she isn't running back to him.
Even if he puts out some desperate songs that are clearly about wanting to be with her (ugh I can't stand listening to him!). #rihannainterview
11/06/09
11/06/09
I just finished reading "The Gift of Fear" and he talks quite a bit about violence against women, the cycle of abuse, and how difficult some people find it to truly look underneath the facade that's presented to the public by violent people. #rihannainterview
11/06/09
11/06/09