• Madonna is divorced. A judge ruled on "Ciccone, M.L. v. Ritchie, G.S." today and the case was a "quickie," an uncontested divorce. Neither Madonna nor Guy Ritchie attended the hearing, which lasted barely a minute. Her Madgesty is single again! Think she'll get hitched to A-Rod? [Yahoo News]
• Oh snap! Madonna just had drinks with her first ex-husband, Sean Penn. [Page Six]
• A source says don't believe what you read about Guy being a gentleman and not taking a penny from Madge. He's getting a "huge pay day." [Perez Hilton]
• Friends of Madonna's are not surprised that the divorce went through so quickly. "It’s not fair to Guy, to the kids, to drag it out for any reason," says a source. [MSNBC]
• Ashlee Simpson gave birth to a baby boy last night, Bronx Mowgli Wentz. Yeah, Bronx. And yeah: Mowgli. Urban Decay Jungle Book Wentz. [People]

• Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson have been "fighting like cats and dogs," says a source, and may be in couples therapy. Work it out, ladies! [Page Six]
• Whoa, a kid almost died on the set of 30 Rock when an out-of-control taxi smashed into the street where the show was filming and everyone had to dive out of the way. [Page Six]
• Shia LaBeouf's wrecked truck was on eBay, but barely anyone bid on it. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson has converted to Islam. His name is now Mikaeel. It might be so that he can legally wear a burka in court and no one can stare at his skin. [The Sun]
• Michael Jackson Mikaeel is due in court next week to defend claims that he owes Sheikh Abdullah $7 million. May Allah be with him! [Guardian]
• Ooh, more soundbites from Britney's new documentary: "Do I know my life is weird? It's all I've ever known. I don't see it as being weird… I'm kind of stuck in this place and I'm like, How do you deal? I just cope with it every day… It's better not to feel anything at all and have hope than to feel the other way… It's bad. I'm sad." [She breaks down into tears.] [EW]
• Britney on why she let "bad people" into her life: "Because I was lonely." [People]
• Twilight star Robert Pattinson was asked, "What is all this talk about you not washing your hair for months on end?" He answered: "People are scared of my hair. But it starts washing itself after about three weeks. I'm just saying that. But, yeah, if it doesn't look dirty, why wash it?" Darling, it looks dirty. Get some Pantene Pro-V up in there. [USA Today]
• America's Next Top Model winner McKey says: "I was freaking out at the second CoverGirl commercial. I almost had a nervous breakdown. They only show a little bit of it, but Christian was fixing my makeup and I was like, 'Christian, I'm freaking out right now. I might have a nervous breakdown. I haven't had a nervous breakdown in forever. I'm going crazy. Why am I here?'" Because you look like a model, maybe? [E!]
• Leonardo DiCaprio attended a "preview screening" of a music video starring ex-girlfriend Gisele Bundchen because he's friends with the director, who is Kevin Connolly. Hollywood's a small town. [People]
• Uh, are Leo and Kate Bosworth an item???? [Star]
• Leo told this paper: "So much of my life has been spent on some far-off movie location and so little of it has been lived normally. I want to get married and have children." [Mirror]
• Hollywood is a small town, take 2: Samuel L. Jackson, Denzel Washington, Eddie Murphy, Reba McEntire, Sylvester Stallone, Magic Johnson and Barry Bonds are involved in the lawsuit between North and South Beverly Park homeowners. It's like the Sharks and the Jets! [LA Times]
• Here's more on that turf war between the North and the South. [TMZ]
• Apparently Brit TV host Jonathan Ross told Gwyneth Paltrow he "would fuck her" and the BBC has called that "gratuitous and unnecessarily offensive." Think so? [Guardian]
• A critic says Baz Luhrmann made a "big, big mistake" in casting Nicole Kidman as proper English dame Lady Sarah Ashley in Australia: Melanie Reid says Kidman is "one of the most overrated actors" in the world and who has "been the kiss of death in practically every movie she has starred in." There's more! "Kidman is exquisitely accomplished at being awful," Reid writes. "She can't act. Instead she drifts around films like a lost porcelain doll, looking frozen, brittle and vapid, staring at the camera with her oh-golly-look-how-I'm-looking-interesting blue eyes." Ouch! [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Ugh, someone asked Nicole Kidman if she was pregnant again. "No, I just have a little tummy," she said. "My god, I just had a baby four months ago – give me a break!" She added: "I think I've always had a little tummy, though, it runs in the family. My sister does, my mum does, my grandmother did… We affectionately refer to it as the 'little tummy.'" Fascinating. [People]
• Glenn Close didn't get the part of Elvira in Scarface because she wasn't slutty enough? [Page Six]
• Miley Cyrus let her boyfriend attend the casting for her new video, and a source says "Justin wanted to pick a guy that looked the most like him." WTF. [E!]
• Apparently the clip of Justin Timberlake dancing with Beyoncé on SNL has been yanked from YouTube due to music clearance issues. Dammit. Not fierce, Sasha. Not fierce. [LA Times]
• Angelina Jolie might not get nominated for an Oscar for her performance in Changeling, even though Ted Casablanca thinks she should. [E!]
• Rihanna's new tattoo: "It's tribal," she says. She got it in New Zealand, and it's Maori-inspired. "It's their traditional way of tattooing. I always wanted [one]. It hurt like hell!" [People]
• ABC has killed three shows: RIP Pushing Daisies, Eli Stone and Dirty Sexy Money. [EW]
• Your friend Kanye West began his concert in Germany by having the crowd wait tow hours and then running on stage and shouting, "I really need some pussy tonight!" [The Sun]
• Baby-wipes enthusiast Terrence Howard says all he's ever wanted to do is be all around the most beautiful women in the world. "I'm sorry I'm shallow like that, I'm a man." [Perez Hilton]
• Lance Bass is glad Julianne Hough has been eliminated from Dancing With The Stars: "She was the one I was scared of the most," he says. [People]
• Is Julianne Hough retiring from DWTS? "I'm not gonna be back next season," she says. "I really, really want to focus on the music and, ya know, be taken seriously a little bit. And I think it’s hard to be on [the show] and be singing." [People]
• Reese Witherspoon looks like a small town checkout girl on the cover of Parade. [Just Jared]
• Reese told Parade: "Family is all we have in life, but I don't know how I feel about marriage. Obviously, I'm not far enough out of being married to think about doing it again." For some reason this prompted this paper to run the headline "I'm Not Ready To Marry Jake." [Daily Mail]
• Heath Ledger's family issued a statement to say that a new book about the star contains "gross inaccuracies, false allegations and many incorrect and unsubstantiated comments." The unauthorized bio, written by a journalist, claims Ledger was mentally ill. [News.com.au]
• The world is weird: Shaquille O'Neal is on Twitter. [Observer]
• Holly Madison says she's wearing less makeup now and P. Hilton says she's lying through her fake teeth. [Perez Hilton]
• Paris Hilton went out without Benji Madden and "looked distraught and completely lonesome." Sniff. [People]
• As for Benji, he is not talking about the split. [E!]
• Have you seen Rosie O'Donnell's video response to Barbara Walters? [Perez Hilton]
• Fox's Roger Friedman says Rosie will get the last laugh, because her live variety show "should be an enormous hit." It's family-friendly and positive in its celebration of Broadway, New York, and the arts. Plus comedy is what Rosie excels at. [Fox 411]
• Michael Phelps: The new spokesperson for Subway sandwiches. Do you want him on whole wheat? [Perez Hilton]
• Is Michael Phelps off the market? He flew to Birmingham to see former Miss Alabama, Doree Walker, and they went to dinner and then to the zoo the next day. Roar. [MSNBC]
• New Lost trailer! And Sawyer and Juliet are holding hands. For like a split second. [E!]
• Josh Brolin, who plays Harvey Milk's assassin in Milk, says the story of Milk made him cry. [UPI]
• If you can understand this kerfluffle surrounding Bianca Jagger's lost ring and bankruptcy and an Austrian building magnate named Reinhard Ringler, please explain. [Daily Express]
• John Malkovich is making a documentary about the plight of migrant children who cross illegally into the U.S. It will be produced by Canana Films, a production company owned by Mexican actors Diego Luna and Gael Garcia Bernal. [AP]
• Christina Ricci, Rosie Perez and Arsenio Hall will voice characters in The Hero of Color City, an animated film about a group of crayons that band together to stop a tyrant from robbing their world of color. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Katie "Jordan" Price in her underwear again, yawn. [Perez Hilton]
• Did New Kids On The Block's Donnie Wahlberg out suspected gay Jonathan Knight? [Perez Hilton]
• It's official: Jean Claude Van Damme hits on young female reporters. [23/6]
• John Cleese, 69, is dating a 27-year-old named Barbie. [The Sun]
• The headmistress of Oprah Winfrey's girls' school in South Africa, Nomvuyo Mzamane, has dropped her suit against The Huffington Post and a blogger she claimed falsely harmed her reputation. [Portƒolio]
• When it comes to cash, Bruce Willis is a die hard, heh: He invested $2 million in a Malaysian technology company and then withdrew his cash; they still owe him $900,000 and he's filed a court complaint. [AP]
• Former Senator Fred Thompson, who was on Law & Order and then tried running for president, is going back to acting. Anyone want to cast him? [AP]
• Success has made Leona Lewis "really, really lonely." Sad face! [Mirror]
• Linda Hogan was getting $40,000 a month in temporary alimony payments. Now she claims to be broke. She wants a court hearing to talk about getting more cash out of the Hulkster. [Perez Hilton]
• TRL's Damien Fahey has a new job, now that his MTV show is dead: He'll be a special correspondent for Extra. [Page Six]
• "That's debatable in Hollywood. There's the obvious answer: Angelina, for saving the planet with her adoptions and charity work." — Megan Fox, when asked who the Woman of the Year was. [E!]
• "[Four Christmases] is not for your children. It's PG-13. But my family always went to movies on Christmas Day – The Godfather, The Elephant Man. Your typical cheerful holiday fare. It's fun to go to the movies at Christmas and nice to be part of a movie that at least grown-ups and teenagers can see. Plus it means a lot when I get to have experiences where I meet young people and they say, 'You know, this is the movie that got me through a hard time' or, 'This is the movie I watch with my family.'" [Independent]
• "There are disco bands, rap bands, Yiddish folk song bands in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but not Kiss I believe we have more gold records in America than any other group, but it's OK." — Gene Simmons, bruised because his band's not in the Hall of Fame. [Reuters]
• "That would be really exciting if that does happen. I hope it does. There has been some talk about it but I think it's in its very early days. But I'm practicing by dressing as a pirate every day - just in case!" — Russell Brand, on playing Captain Jack Sparrow's brother in the new Pirates Of The Caribbean flick. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I did a photo shoot for her, and she suddenly took off her T-shirt to change into another and I was like, 'Damn!' She was so beautiful, elegant, classy and timeless, and there was something really exotic about it. Very few human beings have been that sexy and desirable. I wanted to say, 'You are sculpted by God.' I was like, wow." — Rosario Dawson on Iman. [Daily Express]
• "Our new president is really a person who came from a place where they told him he couldn’t be something, in a country where no one ever thought that we would see a black president, but now that we have a black president we understand that black people, white people, Asian people, Native Americans, Latinos, no matter what color you are, we all are one. Whatever you want to be you can be in this world. You just have to put your mind to it." — Common, to elementary school students in Georgia. [Concrete Loop]
• "I can drink most men under the table and be fine! And I get louder and giggly. Do I get more affectionate? Who doesn't?" — Sienna Miller. [Mirror]

[New York, November 19. Image via x17]

[New York, November 18. Image via INF]

• Anna Wintour may be hanging up the Prada: "She's thinking of retiring. She feels she's done it all and had enough. She has been putting out feelers to intimate friends recommending a possible replacement to S.I. Newhouse. She's so tired out, she just let Men's Vogue close instead of fighting for it." [New York Post]
• David Lynch... for Gucci? Check it. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Speaking of Gucci campaigns, if you really need a Rihanna fix? "This e-film documentary showcases Rihanna and Frida on the set of the UNICEF 2009 holiday ad campaign, Rihanna at the Gucci Winter Ready-to-Wear show in September, Rihanna and Frida discussing sketches and more." [People]
• We're kinda digging Liela Moss, McQueen's new rocker "muse": "It’s sort of preposterous and delightful at the same time. I feel like I’d be a bit of an a—hole if I was really lapping it up too much, but obviously it helps you feel more justified about what you’re doing, your performances." [WWD]

• Rumor has it that the as-yet-confirmed Madonna is being handsomely rewarded for the not-yet-confirmed Vuitton campaign. [New York Post]
• Alexander Wang on his CFDA award: "Four years ago I was reading about this award in my dorm room in a magazine." Well, he's only 24. [Style.com]
• "Founded by the Council of Fashion Designers of America and Vogue, the (CFDA) fund is seen as an accelerator of fashion careers. Previous winners were Rogan in 2007, Doo-Ri Chung in 2006, Trovata in 2005 and Proenza Schouler in 2004. Past runners-up were 3.1 Phillip Lim, Philip Crangi Jewelry, Rodarte, Thakoon, Derek Lam, Thom Browne, Cloak and Habitual." [WWD]
• Beyonce's "robo-glove" is freaking people out. "She has been wearing the metal contraption (custom-made for her by jeweler Lorraine Schwartz) onstage and off since launching her Single Ladies video last month." [USA Today]
• She's also feeling Brit designers these days. Say Brits. [Telegraph]
• Paging Orwell: this new scanner allows you to scan strangers' "barcodes" and look them up online. [Wired]
• NYC belles: Uniqlo's giving away high-tech gear from those freaky "human vending machines" in Times Square today. [Gothamist]
• A perfume company is suing Prince for breach of contract. And he seems like such a reliable businessman! [WWLTV]
• Serge Mouange, "a Cameroon-born, Paris-raised, Tokyo-based" designer, is making kimonos from traditional African textiles. They're gorgeous. [BoingBoing]
• Steve Madden brings his big-heads to the bed & bath market. [Breitbart]
• "Fashion and retail titan" François-Henri Pinault is going green. [W]
• Although strong, Burberry's outlook increasingly cautious. [WSJ]
• Karolina Kurkova has no belly button. "It disappears in photos, so we keep a collection of belly button shots in different positions, and Photoshop them on to her whenever she’s doing a bikini picture." [Daily Mail]
• Shoshonna's clothes, commitment to curves, are great. [Huffington Post]
• Some wonder how designers can make Barbie fashion, given the doll's, um, unusual measurements. [Times of London]
• After rescue attempt, Steve & Barry's faces closure again. [WSJ]
• Check it: McQueen for Target. we're withholding judgment. [Racked]
• Paris gets on the YSL retrospective bandwagon for 2010. [WWD]

• Britney Spears's comeback includes a stop at NBC’s Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony on December 3. Will she perform? Will she push the button and light the tree? Will she ice skate? So many questions. [MSNBC]
• Wait a minute: In this report, Britney says her new life sucks! "There’s no excitement, there’s no passion. I have really good days, and then I have bad days. Even when you go to jail you know there’s the time when you’re gonna get out. But in this situation, it’s never ending. It’s just like Groundhog Day every day. […] I think it’s too in control. If I wasn’t under the restraints I’m under, I’d feel so liberated. When I tell them the way I feel, it’s like they hear but they’re really not listening." B-but- you're doing so well! [The Sun]
• Brit's new CD leaked all over the internet yesterday, probably deliberately. Fans dig it. [The Sun]
• Barack Obama's barber in Chicago says the President-Elect doesn't mind having gray hair. "It's not like he has a head full of gray hair," says Zariff, who only goes by one name. "It's just a few gray hairs, so it's nothing to get excited about." Oh! And Zariff might visit DC! "I said, 'I'm going with you' [if you win]," Zariff told Obama. His reply? "Absolutely. I'm not changing barbers, man." [Us]
• Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer had a romantic candlelight dinner. It's so on. [People]

• Have you seen Rihanna's new video, the one with Justin Timberlake? She slithers on the hood of a car, he's dripping wet in a wife beater. They embrace. It's HOT. [Concrete Loop]
• Jessica Simpson says her sister Ashlee may induce labor. What is she doing?
  "Different foot massages and stuff," Jessica told Ellen DeGeneres on her show (which airs Wednesday). "I don't know. I think she's really just jumping around trying everything right now." [People]
• Angelina Jolie was on BBC radio last night, talking about Changeling. There's video, so if you want to see her ignoring the camera, being incredibly reserved and looking down and being quiet, by all means, watch. [Perez Hilton]
• Angelina got super emotional while talking about her mom at a press conference in London. Tears! [Perez Hilton]
• When asked if the public could expect her to add to her enormous family with Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie replied: "Sure you can." [Mirror]
• By the by, Angelina's dad Jon Voight says he has one wish before he dies and it's "to work with my son [James Haven] and Angie again, in a movie. The three of us together. That would be nice." [MSNBC]
• Get psyched: Miley Cyrus will perform on the finale of Dancing With The Stars, just two days after her 16th birthday. Her song is called "Fly On The Wall," maybe you want to get the lyrics and sing along? [People, UPI]
• Jennifer Lopez loves motherhood and wants more babies. Cashmere onesies for everyone! [MSNBC]
• Tim Robbins has written an open letter to Gregory C. Soumas of the New York City Board of Elections. It begins: "I would like to publicly apologize for being such a dim-witted dilettante on Election Day. I was under the naïve assumption that I could vote where I voted in the last two elections." And it ends: "I was thinking of returning that favor by publishing your home address in this letter but then I thought that maybe one of the thousands of New Yorkers that were taken off the voter rolls in the last two months might not understand what a patriotic upstanding man you are and might show up at your doorstep with the misguided assumption that you are a petty vindictive corrupt scumbag." [Huffington Post]
• Christian Siriano: Engaged! He also might appear on Gossip Girl and says his next collection is "a little bit inspired by Egypt." Oh, and he saw the Victoria's Secret fashion show and declares: "Tranny Klum is fabulous." That's Heidi to you and me. [E!]
• William from Stylista has written a goodbye letter, in which he says: "I want Ashlie to win! Hands down! Team Ashlie all the way! She is, quite possibly, the only sane person (minus the hysterics) left on the show. Now, that's not to say that I don't like a little crazy, but honestly, I could sing Ashlie's praises all day." [Elle]
• Authorities found "multiple prescription bottles" by the body of Paula Goodspeed after she allegedly overdosed near Paula Abdul's house last week. [TMZ]
• An extra in a courtroom scene on NBC's Medium was so disruptive, he was kicked out of the jury box. Turns out he was Sasha Baron Cohen, dressed as Bruno. Guess Patricia Aquette didn't see that one coming. [EW]
• Lipstick Jungle: Not canceled. Yet. [NY Mag, NY Times]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt's trailer on the set of Ghost Whisperer was burgled. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson will not go to London, despite being sued by former pal Prince Abdullah of Bahrain. The cash was an advance, in exchange for two albums, a musical, and an autobiography. None of which Jackson has delivered. The trial started yesterday and continues today, without Jackson's presence; his lawyer says he is to ill to travel. [Fox 411]
• Courtney Love went on some kind of blogathon on Sunday, posting 60 times. Now she writes: "I didnt know that style.com would put all those links together, i dont ingest alchohol and to even make the merest suggestion of a Cr__k P–e is insane and mean.and a lie, wichyou know perfectly well." She also says: "i am not suicidal, occasionally very occasioanly like all of us i get depressed, and that was over a year ago and i had a mini little depression attack well big one, and the Lanvin show made me happier, i dont know quite why it happened but i find that mediciation is not the answer to this, working out and doing daimoku ( chanting) is as is yoga and eating correctly and i want somemore Kombucha tea i think that stuff is miraculous for glow and health. those things work far better than this chemical culture of numbing our rage and numbing our pains and demons." There's a [sic] on all of that, obvs. [Perez Hilton]
• Simon Cowell and Terri Seymour wer on Extra. They were asked why they broke up. Simon said: "Because Terri decided to dump me. You sent me a text." Terri replied: "I didn't dump you. It was just time. We had a great six years, and we're the best of friends." Simon denied that Terri got a £5 million "golden goodbye." He laughed: "If anything I should be getting the money." [Daily Mail]
• Russell Brand's girlfriend, Sydney Jo Jackson, is cute and curly-haired, but this paper says she is "equally barmy in the barnet department." [The Sun]
• Lenny Kravitz is having trouble selling is sexy penthouse, a "moody orgy palace" priced at $18 million. It's been on the market for six years; dreadlocked rockstar not included. [NY Mag via Curbed]
• What's in Julianne Moore's makeup bag? Kiehl's Original Musk, Tarte Cheek Stain in Blushing Bride, Olay Complete Defense Daily UV Moisturizer. And more. [Marie Claire]
• Jessica Lange has a book of photography and it is gorgeous. Click to see some black and white shots. [NY Mag]
• Brandon Walters, a 6 year old aboriginal boy who stars with Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman in Australia, is suddenly famous, but Nicole says: "I feel very protective of him. If the film does really well he is going to need a lot of protection." His mom says: "If it does become a problem for him we'll just go out bush, get away from it all. Now he's at school, he's happy and never stops talking. The film made him confident. He's no longer shy." [Reuters]
• Seth Rogan wants to make a porno-based comedy for Showtime. It would be a series about three twentysomethings who learn about life and love while running a pornography shop, and it's in development. [Variety]
• Rashida Jones: Back on NBC! She'll star in Amy Poehler's new show. [Page Six]
• Beef between Damon Dash and Jay-Z: Kanye West is involved, as are diamond chains. [Rush & Molloy]
• Speaking of Kanye, 50 Cent says Mr. West's new album is "interesting" and that the public "won't forgive him for it" and that it's actually "T-Pain's album." Ouch. [The.Life Files]
• Celine Dion has been forced to postpone several tour dates due to a respiratory virus. Her people say: "Her physician has instructed her to refrain from singing in order to completely recover." [Perez Hilton]
• Heather Locklear: Formally charged with DUI after that incident when she was arrested in September. She's been charged with one count of driving under the influence of prescription drugs. [Extra, TMZ]
• Actress Heather Matarazzo was supposed to marry girlfriend Caroline Murphy in California, but now that Prop 8 has passed, she jokes, "We're breaking up. I'm going to get together with [MSNBC's] Keith Olbermann. We'll have babies, lots of babies!" [Rush & Molloy]
• Spotted: Natalie Imbruglia snogging Will.i.am from the Black Eyed Peas. [Mirror]
• Meg Ryan has won a German lifetime achievement award for best international actress and will pick up the statuette at a gala ceremony November 27. They're calling her the "queen of romantic comedy" and seem to think it is still 1989. [Yahoo News]
• Stan Lee and Olivia de Havilland both received the National Medal of Arts and the National Humanities Medal at the White House yesterday. [Washington Post]
• The Daily Mail apologizes for its "inaccurate" article about David Duchovny and his tennis coach. [People]
• "So how did Steve Martin and Maureen McCormick end up on a date? Florence Henderson knew Chevy Chase, who knew Steve Martin, who wanted Maureen's phone number. They had dinner and made out and the kissing was good, but Maureen was out of it. It would be their only date." [Huffington Post]
• This story, called "Producers' fury at George Takei for boldly going where he shouldn't have" is about how Takei urinated in the camp in the middle of the night on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. Producers are pissed! [Daily Mail]
• So far, George Takei is the favorite to win the show! [Mirror]
• Katie "Jordan" Price and husband Peter Andre are not on the rocks; here is a picture of her wearing a giant "P" necklace to prove it. [The Sun]
• Mindy McCready, who was released from jail two weeks ago, says she isn't proud of an affair she had with baseball great Roger Clemens. She met Clemens when she was 16 but didn't have sex with him until several years later. "Roger Clemens is one of the most wonderful men I've ever known. He treated me like a princess." But! She says she now has "nothing but remorse and nothing but sympathy for what [his wife Debbie] had to go through with this situation, and she has my utmost apology." [UPI]
• Coming to Broadway: Priscilla Queen of the Desert, the musical! [UPI]
• Mary Delgado , a former NFL cheerleader and winner of The Bachelor in 2004, is out of jail after being arrested in a southwest border-town bar for unruly behavior. Drama! [AP]
• Cheech and Chong: Gonna get roasted. Not baked, roasted! [UPI]
• A poem handwritten by Sir Paul McCartney for his friend Spike Milligan is to be sold at auction next week. It's called "The Poet Of Dumbswoman Lane." [Telegraph]
• Five year old Beatrice McCartney is on her dad's new track, a Sir Paul ditty called "Two Magpies." [Mirror]
• Bogota, Colombia hearts Duran Duran. [Guardian]
• "'Climb every Mountain' is a beautiful statement of philosophy. Critics may think The Sound of Music is saccharine, but I think it's profound." — Jon Voight. [MSNBC]
• "I've gotten more stylish since I've been with my husband. I was always making fun of him because he has so many leather coats, jackets and shoes. But he looks hot. I want to look good for him. So I kind of stepped it up a bit." — Heidi Klum in In Style. [People]
• "There's no smoking. The lights never go out, 24/7. You can't cover anything. You can't even put your head under a blanket. All the cells have cameras in them. I was told, you know, 'You'll have your own cell.' But I didn't for the first two or three weeks; I had a cell mate. He got out – but not for long. He came back in pretty quick." — Keifer Sutherland on his stint in jail, in Men's Vogue. [People]
• "Pete and I laugh about it. We can’t win. If we’re smiling for the cameras they say we’re setting it up to gloss over the cracks. If we’re not together they think we’ve split up." — Katie "Jordan" Price on the breakup rumors about her and husband Peter Andre. [Daily Mail]
• "Yes, I have solar panels and all that sort of stuff. However, the more I learn about the subject matter, I also realise that people find it patronizing. They feel like they're being told what to do when somebody like me talks about the fact I have solar panels. Not everybody can get solar panels and not everyone can drive a hybrid car. It's not about blame or telling people how to live, it's just about saying, 'Let's all be aware of these issues.'" — Leonardo DiCaprio. [Daily Express]
• "In terms of my future as an actor and stuff, I don't know. I am in a place in my life where... I've had some great opportunities and I may just choose to have some more children. I've no idea what is in my future but I am very at peace with where I want to be. There are many things I want to do besides act." — Nicole Kidman. [Reuters]
• "Sometimes I lie in bed and I'm like, 'Oh my god, there's Seal lying next to me. What's he doing there?' I get a smile on my face immediately. Our honeymoon period is definitely not over." — Heidi Klum in In Style. [People]
• "We feed the chickens and the pigs — I have two pigs, and boy are they really pigs. They just get down in that mud and roll around. I like getting down in there and working in the garden. Oh, I want someone to build me a good chicken coop… like a man who can just get down there and build it…ooh." — Reese Witherspoon, on taking her kids to her farm outside of L.A. [USA Today]

[Perth, Australia; November 12. Image via Flynet]

• Oprah asked Jennifer Aniston about calling Angelina's behavior "uncool." Jen said she was merely responding to the reporter's question. "I basically just answered it as honestly as I could." Plus, did you know that her flick, Marley And Me, is opening the same day as Brad Pitt's The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button? [People]
• Brad Pitt called Jen and cut her a slice of "shut it" cake. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are heading to Paris, where they'll get engaged, says a spy. "After spending weeks discussing rings, they want to visit two leading jewellers there with their finalised design." OMG please do it at the top of the Eiffel Tower? Please? [Mirror]
• Prince Harry on his hair: "I'm not ginger. I'm auburn, that's what I've been told." Some of us would beg to differ, dear. [Telegraph]
• Oh God: Sarah Palin on Desperate Housewives? [Page Six]
• Madonna told a friend that A-Rod "has the heart of a poet trapped inside an insanely gorgeous body." Vom. [Page Six]

• Miley Cyrus says she'd love for Sasha and Malia Obama to come to the set of Hannah Montana: "I know they have a lot going on, but I think for them to come and hang out with normal kids would be fun." Cuz having your own TV show is like, so normal. Way more normal than having a dad in politics! [E!]
• Three Amy Winehouse fans buzzed her apartment, found her to be at home and had a lovely conversation with her through the intercom. She asked them for the spelling of their names and then signed photos for them. Watch the video just to hear the girls adorable Liverpudlian accents! [TMZ]
• Whoa. George Clooney may come back to ER for the finale? Yeah. Right. [E!]
• Goodbye, Lipstick Jungle and My Own Worst Enemy! NBC has canceled you, and you will live on in TV heaven. [E!]
• Mariah Carey went to London for three days and brought 20 pieces of luggage: Business as usual. [MSNBC]
• Mariah Carey says she goes over the top at Christmas and has a bedroom in her Aspen home made to look like the North Pole. What's cooler than cool? [The Sun]
• Here's how Mariah celebrates the holidays with her friends: "We go in the hot tub in our Christmas bikinis, then roll in the fresh snow and jump back in the tub." Her Christmas outfit is "a red bikini with a Santa hat." [Page Six]
• '90s boyband Boyzone got into a drunken brawl with Rihanna's band in Sydney and security had to break it up. When did pop get so rock and roll? [News.com.au]
• Speaking of Boyzone, they've got a gay couple in their new video. [BBC News]
• As for Rihanna, she canceled a concert in Indonesia after a travel advisory was issued. [Yahoo News]
• Click to see a snippet of Rihanna's new video, the one with Justin Timberlake! [Concrete Loop]
• Will Arnett on his new baby with Amy Poehler: "He's loving being a baby right now. He's thinking about smiling. He's trying to decide if he's ready or not." [People]
• If you'd like to see a picture of Clay Aiken, his egg donor and his baby, click away. [Perez Hilton]
• Some gay rights groups are thinking about boycotting the Sundance Film Festival in an effort to protest the Mormon Church and hurt Utah's business. But is affecting Robert Redford's celeb-studded film fest the right way to go? "Sundance was founded on the idea of championing diversity and freedom of expression," says a spokesman. "It would be a grave disappointment to us if our festival were to be singled out for a boycott." [Independent]
• Ed Norton's documentary about Barack Obama, or as one commenter suggested, "Barackumentary," is drawing wide interest. A lawyer repping the film says: "We’ve had an enormous number of incoming calls from territories all over the world." It should hit HBO next spring. [NY Times]
• Bob Saget approves of Mary-Kate and Ashley's boyfriends.
  "I approve of anyone that makes my friends happy, and they're my friends," he says. What he meant was: "I am not their actual father, I just played their dad on TV, get over it." [People]
• The former American Idol contestant found dead in an apparent suicide near Paula Abdul's home had been causing "a disturbance" there for several years, the police say. [People]
• Read more about Paula Goodspeed, one of the "delusionally bad performers" from American Idol, here. Was she ridiculed when she was clearly mentally unstable? [Washington Post]
• Anne Hathaway's ex, Raffaello Follieri, is not having fun in jail in Brooklyn. He says there are "unspeakably harsh conditions" and "unspeakably unsanitary" toilet and shower facilities and an "intolerable" stench. Rats "roam freely" and there is "excrement in the shower." [The Smoking Gun]
• Baz Luhrmann answers questions about Australia, which Oprah and her audience saw and LOVED. The film is getting compared to Gone With The Wind and Luhrmann says: Gone with the Wind is more than a movie; it's an icon, you know? So it's always scary to make that comparison. But in the same way that Gone with the Wind has a passionate love story that is played out on the canvases of a country's landscape and historical events, this movie has that about it." [LA Times]
• Luhrmann also says the rumors that he's had to reshoot the ending are "absurd." [Page Six]
• What the world needs now: A sequel to Meet The Fockers, with Ben Stiller and Bobby DeNiro. [Fox News]
• Carmen Electra will appear in an eight-page spread pictorial in the January 2009 issue of Playboy. Snooze. [Daily Express]
• What's this? Billy Corgan ranting about James Iha on stage? [Rolling Stone]
• Julia Stiles' mom just opened a home furnishings store in New York's Tribeca neighborhood. [Page Six]
• James Bond's Lotus from The Spy Who Loved Me is expected to fetch up to £120,000 at auction next month. It sorta looks like a DeLorean… [The Star]
• Jamie Oliver will not stop swearing on his TV show, where he uses the F word repeatedly, when he's angry about pork farms and stuff. [Mirror]
• Willam Shatner's moving his online feud with George Takei to a TV show on the Biography Channel. Leave George alone! [MSNBC]
• Hmm, George Takei is on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here? And no one met him at the airport when he flew to Brisbane. Boo. [Mirror]
• Rob Corddry and his wife welcomed a second child on Wednesday: A daughter named Marlo Stevenson Corddry. [People]
• A woman has been placed on three years of probation following her guilty plea to a misdemeanor charge of stalking actress Sandra Bullock. [Yahoo News]
• "My daddy said that I should wear it up and put it in a 'Get your hair as high and close to Jesus as possible' type hairdo. I said, 'Daddy, I don’t think I can get it any higher, but I did my best.'" — Miley Cyrus on her hair at the Country Music Awards. [E!]
• "I love Monopoly by the fire on Christmas Day." — Sienna Miller. [WWD]
• "In the future, if a gay person in California wants to get hitched, he'll have to do it the way God intended, to Liza Minnelli." — Stephen Colbert on The Colbert Report. [Page Six]
• "I've had a hair transplant. Because I have got a very strange shaped head. It's very pointy. And I don't like wearing wigs." — John Cleese. [Telegraph]
• "My insomnia started in my mid-20s. It got to the point where my immune system would give out. It affected my concentration level and being able to perform on the job." — Debi Mazar, who is promoting a web site for insomnia sufferers. [Daily Express]
• "I don’t think about it much because I don’t plan to keep acting very long. I’m ready to do a few things now and fade away and get ready to be a grandma one day. So I’m not so worried that I want to keep this pace up and try to be something and be a celebrity and be a successful actress forever. I think it’s nice, I’ve had a time to tell stories and be able to be successful enough to tell the ones I want to tell, and to earn some money at the same time is great. But everything comes in seasons and, you know, I hopefully won’t be needing to do that later in my life in any way." — Angelina Jolie's answer to the question of whether losing her looks would cut her career short. [The Sun]
• "I moved to California and my mom moved with me when I became a star. If we were still in Chicago she wouldn't have had that done. I've been going through anguish thinking about it. I have been so lonely." — Kanye West, on his mother's death after having plastic surgery. [Mirror]

• That guy Oprah was leaning on during the Election Day rally in Chicago — whom she thanked on her show, saying, "I don't know who you are, but thank you, Mr. Man!" — is named Sam Perry. He worked at the Silicon Valley Obama office. [Breitbart]
• Mr. Man will be on Oprah's show today! [Chicago Sun-Times]
• Speaking of Oprah, she may have delivered between 400,000 and 1.6 million primary votes for Obama. Someone better get to sleep in the Lincoln bedroom! [Newser, via ABC News]
• Will.i.am has a video celebrating Barack Obama's win, and it will debut on Oprah's show today. [USA Today]
• Radiohead's Thom Yorke was so psyched Bush is leaving office, he posted a free remix of a song in his website. [Rolling Stone]
• People waiting in a U.S. Customs queue at Kennedy Airport on Tuesday booed Naomi Campbell as she skipped the line, escorted by a passport-screening officer. Weren't they afraid of hurled cell phones? [Rush & Molloy]
• You know how Kim Cattrall said there would be a Sex And The City sequel? Sarah Jessica Parker says, "I'm thrilled to know Kim is excited but all the deals are not yet done." Me-ouch. [Daily Express, People]

• At Madonna's concert in L.A. last night, she said, "This song is for you girls out there that have had one of your best friends fuck your boyfriend!" Also: Britney sang with Madge, then Justin did. But Brit and Justin did not appear on stage together. [The Sun]
• Oh here's video of Madonna's "surprise" guest: Britney. Brit wore a white shirt and black trousers. Madonna was the one in the leotard. Apparently Britney and Justin "kept their distance." [E!]
• Wait: Justin and Britney have been in touch all along? Even through rehab? [MSNBC]
• Britney's mom's book, Through The Storm, is not exactly a best-seller. [Page Six]
• Oh, snap: Amy Winehouse has refused to pay £30,000 for her husband's rehab. She's also pissed he didn't tell her he was getting released; she found out from photographers. [The Sun]
• Whoa: Dave Chappelle will be on the Inside The Actors Studio 200th episode, helping James Lipton reminisce. [Yahoo News via E!, E!]
• Gossip from America's Next Top Model: Elina says, "I didn't know I bothered McKey so much. That was kind of weird to hear—I didn't know she had a problem with me!" Also, Elina is rooting for Marjorie. "Maybe I'm just being a little biased because she is one of my favorite people in the house, but I think she has a lot of modeling potential, and she's also a great person." [E!]
• David Beckham's been caught checking out cheerleaders for the fourth time. Marc Anthony, seated next to him at the Lakers game, took a gander as well. [Mirror]
• The quote we ran from Glamour about Nicole Kidman cowering in the background during her marriage to Tom Cruise is getting wider circulation. As a reminder, she said: "I didn't think [the early movies] were very good, which is why I would always cower in the background. I thought, I don't deserve to be here. We would go to the Oscars and I would think, I'm here to support him. I felt it was my job to put on a beautiful dress and be seen and not heard." [Sydney Morning Herald, News.com.au]
• Did you know this about Daniel Craig? He has been divorced since 1994 and has a teenage daughter from that marriage, but he doesn't like to discuss her. ("I've spent my whole career protecting her," he says. "As soon as I talk about it, that's out there.") [USA Today]
• Ooh, love this stuff: Rihanna's tour rider. She demands a professional makeup mirror, two Trish McEvoy candles, "good quality" tortilla chips, and "fire hot" crunchy Cheez Doodles. [The Smoking Gun]
• Laguna Beach star Jason Wahler has lost his civil case. He owes a tow truck driver — whom he punched in the face while shouting racial slurs — $5,000. And maybe an apology??? [AP]
• Lisa Bonet's back on TV in Life On Mars, but she says: "To have my face reinstated in minds and homes once a week was an intense decision." She doesn't like the paparazzi. "It feels like you're being stalked. As a shy person, that type of attention coming at me violates something. I don't like that it's expected to come with the territory." [People]
• Ew: Vanessa Minnillo back on TV. Hosting a reality beauty pageant show called True Beauty. The series will "determine the 'True Beauty' of six stunning females and four handsome males who will live together in a spectacular Los Angeles mansion as they undergo a series of challenges to determine who is truly the most beautiful." Vom. [Perez Hilton]
• First: A black president. Now: Will there be a black Doctor Who? Actor Colin Salmon is in talks to star on the BBC show. [The Sun]
• Ellen Pompeo and her husband, Chris Ivery, are celebrating their one-year anniversary with a trip to Vegas. Keep it clean, kids. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Sean William Scott says if he could have a dish named after him, it would be called "Seann William Scott Veal Scallopini With the Stifler Porcini Mushroom Risotto." And: "It would be served at Da Silvano, where all the models go. I'd like models to eat my dish to fatten them up a bit." [Page Six]
• Jack Black will star in a new version of Gulliver's Travels, playing a travel writer who gets lost in the Bermuda Triangle and washes up on an island of tiny people. He may or may not rock out with them. [Daily Express]
• Antonio Banderas is in talks to play Salvador Dali, in a flick that would blend music and CGI to be surreal. Sounds cool. [Daily Express]
• Milla Jovovich will star as an alcoholic former stripper in a coming of age comedy directed by William H. Macy. Intriguing! [Variety]
• Nick Nolte has joined the cast of My Own Love Song, starring Renee Zellweger and Forest Whitaker. The story follows a wheelchair-confined former singer and her friend during an enlightening road trip to Memphis. [Variety]
• Jada Pinkett Smith plays a hippo in Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa and says: "I've always wanted more body, so it was really fantastic that I got the opportunity to play such a gloriously hefty lady. It's always fun to crawl back into Gloria's skin. It's really rare that you get to play a character twice." [USA Today]
• News you can't use: Toby Keith shaves his armpits. [People]
• Sandra Bullock's husband, Jesse James, is being sued for fraud; some kind of clothing deal gone wrong. [Yahoo News]
• This is not a joke: Rick Astley was named the Best Act Ever at the MTV Europe Music Awards, as fans of the 1980s singer pulled off the biggest ever "Rickroll." [Telegraph]
• Daryl Hall and John Oates have filed a lawsuit over the rights to their 1982 hit "Maneater." Can't figure out if Nelly Furtado is involved or not. [AP]
• Taylor Swift is teaming up with Def Leppard, but first the guys from Def Leppard had to Google her. [AP]
• Taylor Swift is not knocked up. She says: "I read a very creative rumor this morning saying I'm pregnant, which is the most IMPOSSIBLE thing on the planet. Take my word for it. Impossible." [UPI]
• "When we both started releasing records, it was a funny time for me. It must have seemed as if we were competing with each other, but, in reality, Britney is someone that I used to hold hands with. We were silly little girls together on the Mickey Mouse Club. What a journey it has been for both of us! There have been so many stories about the two of us not getting along. We don't keep closely in touch with one another, and it's obvious how our lives have taken on two different directions. I don't pass any judgment on what she does. I always wish her all the best." —Christina Aguilera on Britney Spears. [Daily Mail]
• "They [doctors] suggest you kind of get on it before you're a certain age so that they can remove your ovaries. That definitely makes a big difference in my timetable. Everything has to be a process, though. It'll happen. It's just not gonna happen right now." — Christina Applegate, on having kids, despite being tested positive for a gene that increases the chances of ovarian cancer. [Daily Express]
• "Almost every statement that comes out of Hulk's mouth is a diversionary tactic to deflect attention away from the real reason Linda filed for divorce, two words: HULK'S CHEATING!" — Linda Hogan's publicist. [E!]
• "Most of us have no concern for the safety of others, to be honest with you. All the paparazzos are breaking the law, including trespassing, running lights, speeding down the opposite side of the street… We all know we are breaking the law, but it is worth the risk. Safety is not an issue with most of us." — from an interview last year with Alison Silva, the photographer who recently sued Keanu Reeves and lost. [Page Six]
• "I guess people care more about farm animals than they do their fellow man, that's really sad to me. Yes, I am glad that the chickens will have more room and better conditions as they wait to die, but I just think it's frightening that people show more compassion for tomorrow's dinner than for the chef. Yup, Miss Piggy and Chicken Little may rest easy, but gay people in Florida and California can no longer get married and gay couples in Arkansas can't adopt children. G-d forbid a loving family (regardless of sexual orientation) give a needy child a home!" — Sam Ronson, on the passing of Prop. 2 and Prop. 8. [People]
• "I know there are problems with my stomach. There are bumps on it, it's uneven, but it's not that bad. I like a tanned stomach so that's why I'm going to keep wearing a bikini. It's my choice." —Tara Reid, who vows she will not stop wearing two-piece swimsuits. [The Sun]

• Only one more day of having to listen to designers opine about politics! Marc Jacobs' L.A. windows are "set up with the Republicans menacingly on one side (with a particularly freaky-looking W) and brightly dressed Obama voters/supporters on the other. There's also a gun-toting Palin with a letter posted next to her image, which reads as follows: Dearest Citizens, I believe in, 1) No choice for you gals. 2) Creationism for you kids. 3) No rights for you gays and lesbians. 4) Everyone should own a gun! You gotta believe in something, baby!" [Racked]
• Stella McCartney throws an Obama-themed tea. I guess eating his face is an endorsement. [WWD]
• Meanwhile, Henri Bendel stays neutral: "Today, the store will unveil its bipartisan windows featuring a group of five mannequins dressed in the latest cocktail dresses from Chloé & Reese and Greta Constantine. The girls are flanked by red and blue polling booths, each one representing a political party. Today, each mannequin can be seen with a large question mark above its head, but Wednesday morning, the question marks will be removed and the group will be placed in front of the winning voting booth. Several pounds of confetti will be thrown over the group in celebration of that party’s win." [WWD]

• Rihanna's the face of Gucci's new "Tattoo Heart" campaign, which features, um, tattoo hearts on clothes. Some of the proceeds benefit Unicef. [Perez Hilton]
• The secret of Yves Saint Laurent's success? "He liked women to be beautiful." [Reuters]
• Wanna see a young female moddle in Lagerfeld drag? No? Don't click on this link. [FashionWeekDaily]
• Mod pioneer Mary Quant gets her own stamp! It features a mod bird in a mini and zip-top. [ElleUK]
• Did you know Zac Posen was a classically trained singer? Apparently it's why he's so into opera — hence his Lincoln Center arts leadership award for his commitment to supporting arts education. [WWD]
• Consignment stores continue to clean up. [WSJ]
• Apparently the new Kate Moss tell-all is a great read, even if it boils down to the moddle demanding, "Why the f**k can't I have fun all the time?" [Daily Mail]
• Speaking of models with drug scandals in their (recent) pasts: Rosie Huntington-Whiteley has a new gig as the face of dothegreenthing.com. [Fashionista]
• A moddle we can actually get behind? Alek Wek. "I'm working with my uncle in the Sudan embassy in London to open a secondary school on the Nile in Susan. It would be made up of 50 per cent boys and 50 per cent girls...My father always stressed education. I didn't understand it when I was young but I understand now." [VogueUK]
• Christian Siriano, modest as always: "Also, designing Heidi’s gown for the Emmys was amazing, especially when I went to the afterparty and met Debra Messing. Debra told me, “Oh my God, I love your clothes, you’re a genius!” You never know who’s going to be a fan of your work." [Cosmopolitan]
• The city grounds to a halt as we all get our vote on; the Nylon girls are "Gone Voting!" [Nylon]
• Retail extravaganza Lucky Shops looks undimmed by the economy! Encouraging, or depressing? [FashionWeekDaily]

Us
"How I Saved My Son." To be honest, we couldn't really get into this cover story. Meaning: refused to read it. Intern Margaret applauds Jenny McCarthy's efforts, but… yeah. Also inside: According to Jason Alexander, the guy that Britney married for 55 hours, he has renewed his friendship with Brit. Britney's rep denies this. There are two pages about Jen Aniston and John Mayer being back on: They spent the weekend together in New York! Plus: Shanna Moakler describes Travis Barker's skin grafts: "That's when they shave the skin off and then staple cadaver and pig skin right on, so the skin underneath can heal." Science! Lastly: American Idol's Nikki McKibbin wed her childhood rollerskating coach. She'll appear on the second season of Celebrity Rehab.
Grade: F- (silt)


OK!
"Young, Rich & In Love!" Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens are YR&IL. They vacation together, work out in matching outfits and own million dollar homes. He's 21, she's 19. Yawn. Moving on: Kelly Ripa was at the Madonna concert and totally got to sing along when Madonna handed her the mic during a song! Is The Hills over? An insider says: "No one gets along anymore. Whitney moved to New York, Audrina can't stand to be in the same room as Lauren anymore, and they all want more money." Hey, ever notice how Katie Holmes and Mr. Spock look alike (Fig. 1)? Next, profound words from Eva Mendes: "My secret obsession is love. I love 'love!' I love being in love, and I love having someone be in love with me. Love is the sexiest thing in the world." So, this is probably bullshit, but there's a 2-page story about how even though they broke up 2 years ago, Cameron Diaz is still pining for Matt Dillon. "I'm sure she still thinks about him — a lot." a pal of Cammie's says.
Grade: F (sludge)


Life & Style
"I'm Pregnant!" If you care about The Bachelor's Trista Rehn Sutter, then you'll be interested to know she is knocked up again. Another story we refused to read. Moving on: Angelina bought the same dress in 6 colors (Fig. 2). Jamie Lynn Spears has been "struggling" to shoot down reports that she is pregnant again. "I'm not pregnant," Jamie Lynn says. At her concert, Madonna dedicated a song to "anyone with intimacy issues." Her marriage is "all but dead," says a source. Tom Cruise bought Katie Holmes a cross as a gift for appearing on Broadway. The mag points out that it is more like a Catholic cross than a Scientology cross, which has eight points. But, it's actually a square cross, like the Red Cross. Whatevs. Lastly: A picture of Sarah Jessica Parker as a kid. Cute! (Fig.3)
Grade: F+ (sand)


In Touch
"I'm Not Anorexic." Basically this is a six-page series of articles calling out "scary skinny" actresses and explaining why they are so slim. Lindsay Lohan is on a "risky new diet" that involves Redline, an energy drink that promises to burn fat through a shivering response. Like a chihuahua? A doctor says it's pretty close to being an amphetamine. Anne Hathaway has eliminated carbs and sugar and become and "insane" calorie counter. Angelina Jolie is only eating 1,000 calories a day, and there's a chart so you can play along at home! The mag also claims that in those pix where she's wearing that black dress at the premiere of Changeling she's also wearing a "custom made corset." Could it be called "Spanx"? As for Keira Knightley, she is still insisting that she is naturally thin, but that doesn't stop the magazine from drawing arrows that point to her "thin arms" and "skeletal back." A pal says of Katrina Bowden from 30 Rock: "She works out 4 to 5 hours almost every day." Moving on: Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony came up with the idea for their second wedding at 12:30 am after seeing the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls. The Hills' Justin Bobby speaks! He was overheard telling a pal he never hooked up with Lauren Conrad and it's all for the show. "When a group of blondes tried to ask him about it, he threatened to punch them," says an onlooker. Gossip Girl stars Taylor Momsen and Chace Crawford were spotted making out at two parties in NYC. Even though they go to the same school on Gossip Girl, in real life he is 23 and she is 15! Rose McGowan is going to marry director Robert Rodriguez after all: They'd taken a three-month break, but it's back on. Jessica Lowndes and Adam Gregory from 90210 are dating, if you care. Ooh, exclusive interview with Holly Madison: "There were a lot of people — not just Hef — who wanted me to pretend we were still together for the sake of the show." She also says: "I want to be out of there by Halloween. It is so awkward being there, because he is dating other people." Also! She'd been getting fertility treatments but the clinic told her pregnancy wasn't possible because Hef was too old. Next: An interview with Kelli Dawson, the woman who claims she had relationship with Casey Aldridge (he denied last week it in OK!) says: "I heard that [Jaime Lynn] told Casey she is pregnant." Lastly, a sausage-loving town in Rostov-on-Don, Russia, has an exhibition of masterpieces of art made entirely out of slices of local sausages and meat (Fig. 4).
Grade: C- (cyanide-processed gold ingot)


Star
"Stars Without Makeup." Well, they just did this EXACT SAME STORY in July, but here it is again. Intern Margaret says that in the "without makeup" pictures, they are all wearing makeup. Eyeliner or something. She also says they all look pretty damn good "without" makeup. Also inside: Rihanna was spotted sitting on Kanye West's lap backstage at a T.I. concert in Hollywood. "Before long, the two were full-on kissing each other," says a source. Scandalous! To mark her 55th birthday in January, Oprah is giving herself the gift of $500,000 in plastic surgery. Star actually creates before and after pictures so you don't have to use your imagination (Fig. 5)! Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer have renewed their romance with intimate dinners at John's Soho apartment. She checked into a hotel, but it was just for show. A source says: "She actually spent her nights at John's place. They ordered sushi and watched movies and he played the guitar for her. She spent several nights there. And yes, they slept together. Jen says the sex is amazing and that she can't help herself — she's crazy about him!" Who is this source, the sheets? In Maureen McCormick's upcoming book, she discusses her sexual experimentation with Greg Brady, how she fell into coke, and it includes the following info: "A contractor named Harrison Ford made her a special hot tub with a hidden compartment she used to stash cocaine."
Grade: C (gold ore)


Fig. 1

Fig. 2

Fig. 3

Fig. 4

Fig. 5

[LAX, October 5. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Los Angeles, September 27. Image via x17]

• Sacha Baron Cohen's fashionisto alter ego, the fey Austrian Bruno, stormed the catwalk in layers of schmatte during Agatha Ruiz de la Prada's runway show, setting off a security panic. Ultimately they had to call the police; all this will obvs end up in the upcoming Bruno movie. [Perez Hilton]
• Responding to the extreme shortage of celeb fashion lines, Rihanna confirms that she's launching one: “I can’t say when it will be released, but it’s definitely going to happen.” [WWD]
• Naomi Campbell loses her shit at D&G. [WWD]
• Model Lily Cole gives us conservation advice in the intro to eco tome Green is the New Black: “I would encourage sewing together your own stuff, and keeping that stuff even as it falls apart (a good look, I really believe). I would also encourage a change in attitude… what’s a good sweater without a hole?... Please remember, or at least consider, that holes are beautiful, too!” [Nylon]

• The words "complete creative control" should give Adidas pause; they've given it to Jeremy Scott for his new line. [WWD]
• Responding to the needs of a rapidly aging population, Japanese adult diaper designers hold a "fashion show." [CBS]
• Tommy Hilfiger and Peggy Noonan apparently didn't really hit it off. [BlackBook]
• Apparently, in addition to being hideous and ludicrous, the Comme des Garcons for for H&M line is really expensive. [Fashionista]
• With usually dependable Russian and Asian buyers in abeyance, Milan's designers are in a panic. [FT]
• Well, some of them. "In the current climate, at the end of a long week, there's something reassuring about designers who are unashamedly getting on with business as usual. Credit crunch? What credit crunch?" [ElleUK]
• At least Cavalli takes the pulse of the times: "In possibly the most inexplicable collection so far, transparent pastel Wedgwood print chiffon milkmaid dresses were followed by Marie Antoinette peony-posied minis complete with thigh-grazing bustle, which were followed by black Studio 54 jersey slithers, which were followed by neon yellow and chartreuse graphic balloon dresses, which were followed by see-through long white lace governess dresses with little black bows at the neck and pigeon-tail lace tiers at the back, which were followed by marabou-trimmed gold scripted chiffon pyjamas." [FT]
• With peeps cutting back on dry-cleaning, wash and wear fashion is big business. [Reuters]
• In a triumph of frugality, people drop a bundle at Hermes sample sale. [NY Times]
• Balenciaga's casting male models, which means either menswear or drag, and can we just say we're over drag? Can these designers at least pretend they're designing for women's bodies?! [Fashionista]
• Re-usable shopping bags aren't really all that green. Wah-wah. [WSJ]
• Typically generous British journalism: "The encouraging truth is that Twiggy does not look nearly as young in the flesh as she does in most of the photographs in her new book about how to look fabulous over 40. She has, I am heartened to observe when we meet in a London hotel, a slight tummy, jowly bits and a light craquelure of wrinkles." [Telegraph]
• The much-reviled lifestyle guru Gwyneth Paltrow's new Tod's commercial: "The full length commercial, which was modeled after "La Dolce Vita" and featured Gwynnie being chased by papparazzi, losing her bag and having it returned to her by a charming reporter...There were lots of close-ups of the bag, of course. Loving, glorious close-ups." [Washington Post]
• Rebellious Belgian designers want to be business iconoclasts, too. [WSJ]
• The unrest at Pucci as loud as its patterns! [NY Mag]
• Manolo Blahnik turns on the heel! "It's much more difficult to be beautiful and walk femininely in flats...Bardot in France did it and Audrey Hepburn in America. They looked fantastic and walked like tigers, beautiful and graceful, but you can walk like a beach bum in them - then they don't look so good." [VogueUK]
• Why don't we get awesome free stuff with American fashion mags? [Fashionista]
• Michael Kors opens first Euro boutique. [Fashion Week Daily]

[London, September 23. Image via INF]

Writes matukonyc:

"Unfortunately, I think describing P & G as 'progressive' is a bit naive. Cover Girl is among the least expensive of major drugstore cosmetics; one could easily argue that marketing to black women is a cynical attempt to make poor people buy their cheap product. Are KFC and McDonald's progressive because they use black people in ads? As for being 'gay-friendly,' I think the fact that Ellen DeGeneres has a popular daytime talk show with the right kind of demographics is why she's in their ads. Capitalism trumps prejudice every time, if the price is right!"

Well, it is a business, after all. But Cover Girl could use whomever they please. Or they could use black woman and, you know, lighten her skin. While it's terrible that cosmetics companies generally promote a "white beauty" standard, is it also awful that only the low-budget brands are willing to embrace the gays and minorities? Should blacks and gays be insulted by their inclusion by Cover Girl? Or, seeing as how many of the people who shop at drug stores for cosmetics are young — or teens — is Cover Girl setting a good example by using diverse "faces"?

Is Cover Girl The Most Progressive Cosmetics Company? [Jossip]
Earlier: Double Takes
Photoshop of Horrors