Jezebel
Posts Tagged “
rihanna
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Meaningless Consumer Driven Lives
Rihanna Has "Totes" Sold Her Soul For Success
You guys, things are bleak out there. As the AP points out, "Midwestern levees are bursting. Polar bears are adrift. Gas prices are skyrocketing. Home values are abysmal. Air fares, college tuition and health care border on unaffordable. Wars without end rage in Iraq, Afghanistan and against terrorism." So let's all distract ourselves for a minute and get drunk on the Diddy-approved Ciroc vodka! Because when you consume something branded by a celebrity, you can transcend the mundanity of your sad, barely-making-ends-meet life and, just for a minute, you can be Diddy. Or at least that's the idea of the avalanche of celebrity branding we're subjected to these days. On the front page of the NYT business section yesterday, Julie Creswell dissected this increasingly blurry line between celebrity and commerce. According to the Times, the average American sees 3,156 images a day, and a celebrity face helps the viewer become conscious of the product amidst the bombardment. But of all the celebrity endorsers these days, Rihanna takes the cake for the sheer number of companies to whom she is beholden. More »
exile in guyville
In The Music Industry, Female "Geniuses" Are Hard To Find
Jane Czyzselska thinks that women in music are rarely referred to as geniuses. The Times of London writer claims that Rufus Wainwright gets plied with the "genius" accolade frequently, while similarly blessed female musicians like Kate Bush, Bjork and Goldfrapp are not given the genius label. Um, Jane? Goldfrapp? You're really arguing that Goldfrapp is a "genius?" Maybe the term genius is being tossed around entirely too frequently, regardless of gender. That made me doubt Czyzselska's original thesis, so I decided to google Jezebel fave "Liz Phair" and "genius" and found this incredible review of Phair's third album whitechocolatespaceegg by Laura Sinagra. I checked out the Billboard Hot 100, and as five of the top ten albums are by women, maybe we need to lament the lack of "genius" females in music writing, not music making. More »
coverlies
What The Elle? Layered Cutout Swimsuits Do A "Body Issue" Bad
So, not to rain on anyone's umbrella or anything, but have you ever noticed? Rihanna = not that pretty! (Maybe it's the haircut?) There, I've said it. I know it's against the rules here, but sometimes you gotta break the rules, even if you just made them up on Monday, and anyway: who cares? She's a singer. Why is she supposed to be some sort of style icon? Because some stylist told her to wear a gold lame American Apparel bikini under her dress as a bra because that's what they're doing right now? Anyway, moving on, this week we had help from Anonymous Supermodel Tatiana, who commended Elle for finding a model, "Valentine," without visible back ribs and noticed that the magazine seems to enjoy sticking its regular fad diet story line in the same place between the E and the L. What does it all mean? Fuck if we know. We rewrite the cover lines so you don't have to feel guilty sticking to Neverland on the beach this month! More »
dirt bag
Mischa Barton Fights The Battle Of The (Digitally Enhanced?) Bulge
- Mischa Barton claims she is a PhotoShop Of Horrors victim: A new batch of paparazzi beach shots showed her legs riddled with cellulite. "Those photos are doctored," Barton's rep, Lisa Perkins, says. "I'm not saying she's perfect, nobody is. But they've given a 22-year-old woman the legs and bottom of an 80-year-old." The pix were taken by the dude she's pissed at for snapping topless shots; the same one who ran Nicole Kidman off of the road. [Rush & Molloy]
- You can see the pictures here, with a regular paparazzi shot as well. Photoshop? [Daily Mail]
- Apparently Mariah Carey wanted a $3 million wedding with doves and orchids and Nick Cannon wanted to get married ASAP with no fuss. Mariah agreed because, as she has said, "We really do feel we are soulmates. I never felt a love like this was in the cards for me." Aww, that should be sweet but somehow it's fucking annoying. [Mirror]
- Lindsay Lohan: Seen doing shots of tequila with Lauren Conrad! LL turned her back so no one would see; unfortunately she was facing a window and the whole bar could see her reflection. Whoops! [Rush & Molloy]
- Meanwhile: You know how Lindsay had finally gotten a movie role? In that Manson Girls flick? Well she's been kicked off of the project. Producers "discovered that they couldn't find any name actresses who wanted to co-star with her," says Nikki Finke. [Deadline Hollywood via ONTD]
dirt bag
Pam Anderson & Lauren Conrad, White House Correspondents
- Seriously? The White House Correspondents dinner must not be what we think it is, because Pamela Anderson, Lauren Conrad and Perez Hilton (and Donatella Versace) are invited. [ONTD]
- Newly-engaged Ashlee Simpson says her sister Jessica is "overflowing with joy" and dad Joe has given her and fiancé Pete Wentz his blessing. [People]
- Lily Allen was kicked out of the men's room at a club in London — and she was with Razorlight singer Johnny Borrell. [Mirror]
- Kate Hudson on PhotoShopping: "I just tend to let those things go. I can't tell you how many covers of magazines I've been on when my eyes were blue. I don't have blue eyes. I have green eyes. So, you just kind of go with it, you know, it's like it is, what it is and that's what people do, you know." [The Star]
- A tabloid editor says Jay-Z and Beyoncé's wedding only made the cover of one weekly magazine because "African-Americans don't sell covers." [Gatecrasher]
Loose Lips
Rihanna and Chris Brown were spotted leaving a NYC tattoo parlor last night. Oh Ri Ri, PLEASE tell us you did not get a tattoo with Chris's name in it!! • There is a High School Musical 4 in the works, though Ashley Tisdale says she probably wouldn't be in it. "We love HSM, but we kind of have to move on," Princess Rhinoplasty tells Us. • Paris Hilton says she's in love with Benji Madden. Fingers crossed they don't reproduce. [TMZ, Us, People]
dirt bag
Jessica Simpson Needs Cranberry Juice, Stat
- Jessica Simpson has been hospitalized at Cedars Sinai for a minor kidney infection. Did she pick up something in Kuwait? Ow, ow, ow. [TMZ]
- Oh, she's already out of the hospital. And "doing fine." [The Sun]
- Amy Winehouse is moving — for the third time in four months — because her new flat has "demons." [The Sun]
- Despite what you may have heard, Johnny Depp will not be shilling for Magnum condoms. [Portƒolio]
- Denise Richards: "I'll never talk about weight around [my daughters]. And they'll never hear me say, 'Mommy's feeling fat today.' That kind of attitude just makes young girls grow up to be dissatisfied with their bodies." She will, however, include them in her new reality show! [People]
- Jennifer Aniston has formed a film company called Echo Films with producing partner Kristin Hahn. (Aniston was previously a partner in Brad Pitt's film company, Plan B.) [Variety]
the good, the bad & the ugly
Some Fashions At The Kids' Choice Awards Were Surprisingly Childish
Saturday night brought one of the events that, in my youth, I anticipated as anxiously as the winter holidays: The Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards. Lots of celebs! Lots of slime! Jack Black hosted the frenetically-paced activities and lots of celebrities brought the pretty. See: America Ferrera, left. Does she ever look bad? I also like how she played the pretty dress all casual with the wooden wedges, but that's neither here nor there. Also in attendance: Abigail Breslin, Cameron Diaz, Jordin Sparks, Jodie Foster, Amy Poehler, Ashlee Simpson, Hayden Panettiere, Rihanna and Miley Cyrus, who is looking less like a tween of late and more and more like a 50-something who's spent too much time in the tanning booth. Miley, and the other Good, Bad and Ugly, after the jump. More »
dirt bag
Did Heath Ledger Father A Love Child?
- Is there a Heath Ledger love child? When Heath was 17, he dated a 25-year-old woman who gave birth to a baby girl after the relationship ended. [People]
- Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were married in the French Quarter Wedding Chapel on Saturday. [Star]
- Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt did not get married and were not even in New Orleans. They were in Texas, where Brad is shooting a film. [People]
- Sarah Jessica Parker's 5-year-old son James is an Obama supporter. [People]
- Amy Winehouse's husband, Blake Incarcerated, was attacked by fellow inmates in prison because they were convinced he had a secret stash of heroin. Blake has failed three drug tests while in Pentonville Prison and spends a lot of time in solitary confinement. [ONTD]
Loose Lips
Perhaps this news will cheer Maxim's unsexiest woman SJP: The Boston Phoenix has released its list of the hundred unsexiest men of the year. Amy Winehouse hubby Blake Fielder-Civil and The Hills' gruesome twosome of Brody Jenner and Spencer Pratt all made unsexy grade. • Here's a Britney rumor mill update: she might host the Kids' Choice Awards on Nickelodeon; she is thinking of starting her own dance studio; she's discussing a sitcom with CBS; producers of a Streetcar Named Desire in London have offered Brit the lead role of Blanche DuBois. As for the last one, perhaps playing a mentally unstable woman every night on stage is not the best career move for Brit right now, hmmm? • Rihanna is doing a string of benefit gigs for kids in need under the tour heading "A Girl's Night Out." The proceeds will go Rihanna's own Believe Foundation, which "gives children a chance by providing everything from medical attention for children who can't afford it, school supplies for children in poorly funded public schools, toys for children who are terminally ill and clothes for children in homeless shelters." Go Riri! [The Phoenix, Dlisted, Perez]
crappy hour
Barack Obama Steals Away On Sexy Tropical Paradise Island Vacation!
Barack Obama sure picked the right time to go on a secret vacation with Rihanna! The blind guy is STILL MAKING NEWS. Now it's co(mg)caine. Barack Obama did cocaine in the eighties. Who cares if the blind governor did cocaine in the eighties? Barack Obama probably gave it to him, and Barack Obama didn't have blindness as an excuse for needing false confidence! You know what else made news today? Sex. Not unprotected anal whore sex! Not illicit adultery in the 94th Street Days Inn sex! Not even "erotic sex"! Just sex, as in: it's fun! You should have some. Moving on: what else do we have here...elections in Zimbabwe! Can you spell Zimbabwe without Mugabe? Oh also: Sinbad! Sinbad is still in the news! Sinbad has never enjoyed such high approval ratings! Can we give Sinbad a cabinet position? And then there's some more about the war. Will the number 4,000 detract from the "myth" that the Troop Surge is a huge success? Or, on the contrary, will it remind everyone why we needed the Troop Surge to begin with? No one knows! Also, that part about Barack and Rihanna is totally unsubstantiated. We just don't know very much about the Virgin Islands because we never take vacation. Which is why Glamocracy's Megan and I are here to IM every morning for your commenting pleasure. More »
dirt bag
Lindsay Might Have A BJ Video, But This Ain't It
- A blog called The Blemish says that grainy BJ picture from yesterday is most decidedly not Lindsay Lohan. They have proof, but be warned: It involves a link to porn site XTube. [The Blemish]
- Meanwhile, Lindsay is spending Easter visiting her terminally ill grandfather on Long Island... And she took BFF Samantha Ronson with her. [E!]
- Renée Zellweger says she's dyed her hair so many times she's amazed "it's still attached to my head, by the grace of God." She doesn't talk about what she's on, though. [Page Six]
