• The Tiger Woods case may be closed, but a Los-Angeles based cocktail waitress, Jaimee Grubbs, is telling Us Weekly that she had a 31-month fling with Tiger. And:

Another woman from a nightclub in Las Vegas is expected to be named any minute now. Can of worms, you guys. Can of worms. [MSNBC Scoop]

• More on this in Midweek Madness, but Us Weekly has voicemails from Tiger Woods in which he says: "Hey, it's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that. Just have it as a number on the voicemail. You got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye." You can listen at the link. [Us Weekly]
• Jaimee Grubbs, the alleged recipient of the voicemail, allegedly bragged about her relationship with Tiger at work and played the voicemail for coworkers. Allegedly. [TMZ]
• Jaimee Grubbs also says she has photos and hundreds of "racy" text messages from Tiger Woods. [NY Daily News]
• More on Tiger's sexting here. One message reads: "I will wear you out... when was the last time you got [bleeped]?" [Radar Online]
• This report claims that Tiger Woods booked and paid for Rachel Uchitel's trip to meet him in Australia in November. [Radar Online]
• Lindsay Lohan was out Monday night, hanging with John Mayer and Samantha Ronson, and was "totally sober and well-behaved." No, really. [Page Six]
• According to this column, John Mayer was "playing relationship counselor" to Sam and Lindsay — getting Sam to talk to Lindsay, whom she initially ignored. The two ended up spending much of the night talking and laughing! John Mayer is magic! [Gatecrasher]
• Caaaaaaashmere sweaters! Oprah's "Favorite Things" episode may be back next year! [CNN]
• Like Taylor swift, Bon Jovi and Gwen Stefani, Jay-Z is suing an establishment for playing his music without paying. [TMZ]
• What's this? Justin Timberlake's new hair looks like his old hair? You don't say. [Gatecrasher]
• Adam Lambert is hoping one of his songs will be in the Twilight movie Eclipse: "It's kind of about vampires," he explains. "It's a great song. It's very theatrical ... very campy." SHOCKING. [Gatecrasher via MTV]
• Tragic times we live in: Britney Spears, Rihanna, David Beckham, Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom were all seen at LAX Monday — and they all few commercial. [Gatecrasher via X17]
• George Clooney's frequent flier tip: Wear slip-on shoes. "The shoes you have to tie, they take forever." But: "I never wear those goofy masks on my eyes. I am too worried about the guy in the next seat taking a picture of me. That is one photo that you can't live down." [People]
• Kim Kardashian has finally reached her "goal" in terms of her body, and you can see what that looks like in a pic at the link. [NY Daily News]
• Another amazing Twitter pic: Tyra and her real hair! [NY Daily News]
• The Russell Crowe Robin Hood movie promises to be "epic" and those involved are looking to "recreate that Gladiator magic." Production is "massive," claims Ridley Scott. Russell Crowe says: "I don't think there is a satisfying Robin Hood and that's one of the key reasons for wanting to make another one." Expect to see Robin with cropped hair and a beard, much like Maximus. [News.com.au]
• Clint Eastwood, who directed the Nelson Mandela film Invictus, says he finds Mandela "Christ-like." "There are just no people like this on the planet." [Showbiz 411]
• Stevie Wonder has been named a United Nations Messenger of Peace, which is a brilliant idea. [UPI]
• Rah rah ah ah ah: Barry Manilow hearts Lady Gaga. "I really think she's got something going for her," he says. [Reuters]
• Barry should know that a teen panel has declared that Lady Gaga and Jamie Foxx songs are the musical equivalent of junk food with "unhealthy relationship ingredients." But: "We aren't telling people what they should or should not be listening to," Barbara Ferrer, of the Boston Public Health Commission, said in a statement. "We are giving them a tool that will help them make an informed choice about what they put in their bodies." Fourteen teens attended a seven-week commission-sponsored institute on healthy relationship promotion and teen dating violence prevention, where they were taught to evaluate music based on themes of power, control, equality and gender roles. [USA Today]
• Sting was asked: "Do you feel uncomfortable travelling between various homes in various continents at enormous carbon cost?" by Newsnight's Jeremy Paxman, who added: You're not being blamed for the global crisis, you're just being called a hypocrite." Sting "squirmed in his seat." [Guardian]
• OMG OMG OMG: Joan Collins is hoping to take her makeover TV show Joan Does Glamour to the US! Hairspray, diamonds and shoulder pads for everyone! [Mirror]
• "Customers who buy a diamond at Ivanka Trump's Bridal Bar, where rings start at $15,000, will get a three-course dinner with champagne and a night in a Trump hotel in Manhattan." Get engaged — get a room. [Ny Daily News]
• Corey Feldman's going through a divorce and wants joint custody of his son and doesn't want to give his wife spousal support. [TMZ]
• Little Richard is out of the hospital after hip surgery and wants to work hard at recovery so he can "get back on the road as soon as possible." Let's hope he's feeling Tutti Frutti ASAP. [AP]
• Norah Jones has won her battle to transform the windowless side wall of her Amity Street mansion in Brooklyn's Cobble Hill by punching out 10 windows. [Brooklyn Paper]
• "Oscar-nominated actor James Woods has settled a lawsuit against a hospital in Rhode Island where his younger brother Michael died in 2006." [Mirror]
• Whatshername and Whatshisname reunited… To watch their son's nativity play. [The Sun]
• "I did show my line at Bryant Park, which is not in this season, but I knew that I had to really prove myself as a designer more than anybody else out there. There are so many celebrity lines and there are so many reality show lines, actually, that haven't really done well and haven't shown much design sense. So I had to prove myself even more, that I really did take this seriously. I think no one ever expected me to put so much heart and soul into it. I guess the verdict is still out regarding what they think of my talent." — Whitney Port. Lots more at the link. [LA Times]
• "We as a family are under a lot pressure. [People want] to make us look bad and wants us to fail. [With the Melrose Place firing, the world], again, always want to make it look like we're failures but we're really just a family that works hard. My children look at ups and downs and rise up above it all and remain strong...We're just normal people, and we always try to be who we say we are." — Joe Simpson on his daughters Ashlee and Jessica. [Us Magazine]
• "They are all different. I have died with my eyes open, which is more interesting than dying with your eyes shut. I can't remember how I died as Tolstoy, but I have done Cyrano de Bergerac on stage and I died with my eyes opened. I think that's marvelous, because in the theater the lights hold to your open eyes and it's kind of marvelously frightening for a second." — Christopher Plummer, who plays Tolstoy in his latest film The Last Station. [LA Times]
• "I think we should say something about class in America. It's the dirty little secret nobody wants to talk about… What about the people at the top who are evil and corrupt and don't want to change and don't want to give up the positions of power that they inhabit to make other people suffer and to make actual real horror in the world? They don't want to change. What do we do about them?" — Roseanne Barr tries to be the voice of the disappearing American middle class on her radio show, "The Tipping Point." [LA Times]
• "I think she's probably quite nervous... She's smart but make no mistakes, this will be a very different kind of show than what you're used to. Obviously everyone wants to sit next to me. I am thinking about pulling names out of a hat." — Simon Cowell on Ellen DeGeneres joining the judging panel on American Idol. [Mirror]
• "You can still contribute even if you are not as fortunate as I am. I've been blessed and I've been over-rewarded for what I do and I'm trying to give my time and my resources but you know, I'm a rich rock star, so shoot me." — Bono, urging people to buy products from the (RED) brand, which funds aid projects in Africa. [Telegraph]
• "A lot's changed since I was on TV. We have a black president now. Actually, Obama called me and asked me to help him with his campaign. He said he had two rules for me — don't use the 'N' word, and stay off TV. Figures the first black president would run on a platform of only taxing the rich, and now I'm rich!" — Dave Chappelle, in a surprise visit to Caroline's comedy club. [Page Six]
• "OK, so I didn't really go to high school parties. I didn't touch pot 'til I was in my 20s. I didn't get flat-out drunk until I went to college [Harvard]. But I think that's a good thing in many ways." — Natalie Portman. [Page Six via Marie Claire]
• "Not only is my performance raw in this film, but through most of the film I am naked from the waist down. So not only am I raw, I'm chafed." — George Clooney, joking about Up In The Air. [People]

• Here are leaked pictures of Lindsay Lohan's spring campaign for 6126. The images were shot by reality-TV-star photographers Markus Klinko and Indrani. [Gone Hollywood]

• That was quick: Steve Madden has finalized a deal with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen to manufacture shoes and accessories for the pair's new Olsenboye JC Penney's brand. [Crains]
• Francesca Versace, the niece of Donatella and daughter of Santo, was rejected the first time she applied to Central St. Martins. "I went to the London College of Fashion and did business and pattern cutting, which I hated, but reapplied for Saint Martins and finally got in. The first year, I was crying all the time. All the teachers gave me such a hard time." The designer says that, eventually, she started to fit in. "I did three years and I loved it. I had so much fun by the end." Now she lives in London and is best friends with Silvio Berlusconi's daughter. [Times UK]
• The December cover of Harper's Bazaar is rumored to feature Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson. [WWD]
• Sometimes the Daily Mail online headline writers are evil geniuses. "Can Chanel Really Gild This Lily Or Are They Allen A Laugh?" would be one of those times. [Daily Mail]
• Project Runway alum Jeffrey Sebelia is taking his poor-man's-Santino aesthetic to his latest position, as creative director of the casual wear label Fluxus. [WWD]
• The M.A.C.-sponsored fashion shows at Milk Studios will continue at least for the next two years, says Estee Lauder Group president John Demsey. [The Cut]
• Scott Schuman's project for Burberry involved him shooting 100 trench coats, reveals Garance Doré. Included in the post is one of the pictures, of Doré wearing a short navy trench with a Yankees cap. [Garance Doré]
• The Gucci family biopic that Ridley Scott is making has Gucci family members upset. The story he's dramatizing — the intrafamily struggle for control that cost the life of eventual winner Maurizio Gucci, who was killed on his wife's orders just after hiring young designer Tom Ford — does not, they feel, redound to their benefit. "Enough mud," says Patrizia Gucci, Maurizio's cousin. "We have been through horrible things and paid plenty in person. I will write a book about the Guccis to say who they really are. And I will give Scott a copy, in hopes that his movie will never be released." Angelina Jolie is purportedly in talks to play Maurizio's wife. [Variety]
• And with the opening of Mongolia's first Louis Vuitton store, late last month, comes the inevitable trend story about how Ulaan Bator is, like, so hot right now (move over, Paris!). Actually, the warmest praise the capital garners from Louis Vuitton C.E.O. Yves Carcelle is that it is equivalent to "a good-sized provincial town in China." [News.com.au]
• Prada had just nailed down an agreement with its garment workers' union to furlough 250 out of 3,000 workers at its factory for four to six weeks when it announced that the rotating suspensions will only last three weeks. Spring orders outstripped the company's expectations by 10%. [Reuters]
• Gabriel Aubry, the male model who fathered Halle Berry's child, will be the spring face of Louis Vuitton men's wear. [Sassybella]
• Marc Jacobs might do a reality show. "I have very specific ideas about a show and how I'd want it to go, and I'd want it to be really different than the other ones," says the designer. But, "I don't think it's going to happen. I don't think so, unless we came up with the right thing, the right way." He hasn't been in touch with Bravo, who a few weeks back said it was "desperate" to have Jacobs in a show. We'd recommend re-watching Loïc Prigent's Louis Vuitton doc if you're feeling anxious. [The Cut]
• Alexander "I make $390 Italian yarn bike shorts" Wang, on his successful Barneys trunk show last week: "When I got to Barneys, I was welcomed with the news that our Rocco bag had a waiting list of 400-plus. By day's end, their entire Spring 2010 handbag order sold out with pre-buys — and that's before it will even hit the floor. Yikes! Good news, but now we're going to have to figure out how to produce more bags so our section won't be empty come January." A 400-plus person waiting list? Are the bags made of gold? Is it magically charmed so that whatever you wish for, you reach in and, pouf, there it is? Does it buy you drinks after a long day? Because we're struggling to understand what it is that's attractive about a black leather bag with studs on the bottom that costs nearly a grand. [Style.com]

• Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise were surprise guests at a "massive" Scientology party in England last week.

Four thousand other Scientologists — including John Travolta and Kelly Preston — were part of a "rapturous, fist-pumping crowd." It was the 25th anniversary of the International Association of Scientologists. Fun? Oh, also: There were protesters outside, and Tom said: "They're squirrels. Stuck in an electronic incident. It makes me so angry!" Wait, what? [Us Magazine]

• Speaking of Travolta: The extortion case has gone to the jury. [TMZ]
• This could be amazing: Ridley Scott is in talks with Angelina Jolie to play a femme fatale role in Gucci — a drama about murder and decadence in the Gucci fashion dynasty. In 1995, right before he was about to reestablish the brand by debuting Tom Ford's line, Maurizio, the grandson of founder Guccio Gucci, was gunned down in Milan. [Variety]
• I'm sure you'll find this simply shocking, but Gerard Butler has had a threesome in the past year. [The Sun]
• What's this? Renée Zellweger says she hasn't signed on for a third Bridget Jones flick?!?! "I get asked every single day, and I don't know anything," she says. "It's a rumor." [E!, Us]
• Halle Berry's daughter Nahla is learning to play golf. No, really: daddy Gabirel Aubry says: "She's learning to play golf. She has a little hole in the backyard." [People]
• Rumpus, a Great Dane who starred in three Lady Gaga music videos, was found dead after a hike in Los Angeles. [TMZ]
• Colin Farrell has a newborn son, his second child. [Independent]
• Heidi Montag didn't go to her sister Holly Montag's birthday party because no one was paying her an appearance fee. [Fox News]
• Poor Dave Chappelle was trying to set the Laugh Factory's endurance record for continuous stand up comedy, but five hours into his routine, he walked away to go to the bathroom. Disqualified! [USA Today]
• Boo. Mark Ronson will never work with Lily Allen again. Boo. [The Sun]
• A series of emails reveal that the Swiss Federal Office of Justice faxed the U.S. Office of International Affairs letting the Americans know about Roman Polanski's planned appearance in Zurich and asking if the US would be submitting a request for Polanski's arrest. [CBS News]
• Three New York prison officials have quit their jobs following a scandal involving rapper Foxy Brown; they reportedly let her do a photo shoot to promote her new album, despite the fact that she was behind bars. Investigators will try to reveal if she received preferential treatment. You think? [Contact Music]
• Gossip Girl paychecks: Blowing in the wind. [Page Six]
• Alec Baldwin's got jokes! Speaking at the Elle Women In Hollywood event, he said: "I want to assure you that I didn't steal this role from a more qualified woman. There was an audition process. The audition required me to move a couch, fall asleep in front of the TV, and open a particularly stubborn jar of pickles." And! ""If Tom Cruise would simply lower his quote by a mere $29 million, my salary would not make a difference. My annual salary is the budget for Altoids on one of Tom's movies." And! Renée Zellweger "is so tiny, but she's got a big voice. I've been to parties with her and you can hear her voice anywhere, but you can't understand a word she says." More at the link. [People]
• Mischa Barton is trying to trademark her name in Australia, but there's already a company called Mischa Accessories. What to do?!?! [News.com.au]
• Victoria Beckham will be a guest judge on So You Think You Can Dance — in the UK. Sorry 'Mericans. [Daily Mail]
• Viewers submitted almost 9,000 questions for Kate Gosselin to answer during her TLC one-hour special on Monday. Here's one more: When will you go away? [People]
• More on this in Midweek Madness, but Life & Style is proclaiming its latest issue (out today) a "Special Gosselin-Free Issue." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Guy Ritchie is a distant relative of King Edward 1, and when you look at a side by side comparison, there's a resemblance! The nose? And the jaw? [Daily Mail]
• Rob Burnett, executive producer of The Late Show with David Letterman, has replied to NOW, who called the workplace a "toxic environment." Burnett's letter reads: "As an employee of David Letterman's since 1985, I have personally found the work environment on his shows to be fair, professional and entirely merit-based at all times." He also points out that 58% of the Late Show staff are women. [LA Times]
• A fan approached Freida Pinto in London; Freida accidentally bumped into her; the woman stumbled and fell in front of a car; Freida rushed to make sure the woman was okay; everyone was fine and it was a happy ending caught on camera. [This Is London]
• Take a deep breath and relax: Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom's prenup is a done deal. [TMZ]
• OMG! Dancing With The Stars flu outbreak! Run for the hills! [People]
• Salman Rushdie is pissed that his ex-girlfriend said he was still obsessed with his ex-wife, Padma Lakshmi. He says: "I long ago turned the page and moved on." [Page Six]
• Glenn Beck travels with an armed guard. Even when he goes to the bathroom. [Page Six]
• "A strip club worker accused of beating to death the ex-fiance of a Real Housewives of Atlanta cast member has been freed on bond." [CBS News]
• At the link: James Gandolfini, Elaine Stritch and fat jokes. [Page Six]
• Blind items! "Which married music mogul is said to have impregnated an unmarried woman who works for his label in marketing? She's on maternity leave while he's mulling options. Which still gorgeous ex-supermodel doesn't use her own skin-care line, which she hawks on TV? She secretly uses Somme Institute's MDT5 regimen instead. Which son of a rock icon used his name to score six free tickets to a Broadway show, but then never showed up?" [Page Six]
• "The trouble is, before, I felt married to two people — Pete and our management." — Whatshername. [Daily Mail]
• "I wish to make it perfectly clear for the record that my manager, Claire Powell, who I have known for the past 16 years, is my manager and a personal friend. She has never betrayed me or done anything other than support me, which is more than can be said for my ex wife." — Whatshisname. [The Sun]
• "There were times when I thought that a whole bottle of pills would go down easy… Then I noticed the gun in my hand. I was careless with it… I kept my finger pressed right to that trigger … and if I moved that finger an inch in the right direction… I would have blown my brains out." — Hulk Hogan writes about his suicidal thoughts after his divorce in his new book. [Page Six, Gatecrasher]
• "I am an atheist. I have a very different take on who God is. Man invented God because he needed him. God is us." — 87-year-old Carl Reiner, who has two new books out. The story at the link details his fascinating life from a high schooler in New York to working in the garment industry to becoming a writer/director. [LA Times]
• "I know what they're eating and I know what they're doing. Their friends' parents understand their vegetarian and no-TV needs. I give them age-appropriate messages. It's just like most parents don't allow alcohol or cigarettes. I tell them that everyone does things differently and that's OK. It's very important to us to raise nonjudgmental children who don't go finger-wagging. When they're driving themselves around, they're going to make their own decisions, but fast food isn't something I'm gonna facilitate. Still, at some point they"re going to make their own decisions. You give your children wings so they can fly." — Mayim Bialik on raising her kids holistically and via "green mothering." [HuffPo]
• "I've offered to come on Saturday Night Live because I thought I would help them get the ratings. Because clearly that humor that they had when they first had Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi ... has gone (with) this (current) cast of characters. I thought I would show some benevolence as governor and help them out a little bit." — Governor David Paterson, who is often mocked on SNL for being blind. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I've written two autobiographies and posed for Playboy. I think I've pretty much been out there. But this is definitely the most exposed I've ever been." — Carnie Wilson on her hew reality series, Carnie Wilson: Unstapled, in which viewers will see her trying to take off about 50 pounds of "baby weight." [AP]
• "We've had a real good collaboration. Crucially, she approved me as director, and she didn't have to. We had some discussions that were very important — my convincing her that I didn't want to take her baby and run away with it, or tell a story that was counter to the spirit of what she was trying to tell. I see myself, in the last few movies I've done, as adapting literary properties into film, so that's how I treated this one. We got along like a house on fire." — Chris Weitz, who's directing New Moon, kept in contact with Twilight series author Stephenie Meyer. [Hollywood Reporter]
• "I like kissing women sometimes. Women are pretty. It doesn't mean I'm necessarily sleeping with them." — Adam "Glambert" Lambert, to Details. You saw the pix, right? [Page Six]
• "He was eating chips and dip and he was laughing so hard, he started choking. I thought I'd killed Tony Romo. Here it would be like killing David Beckham or Pele, it was a scary moment."— Jeremy Piven told a deadly joke. [Mirror]
• "We have found the quality of life so much more enriching and fulfilling. The civility, the culture, the people and its beauty have reawakened me and have smoothed out some of my bleak and jagged views about people and life." — Lisa Marie Presley, who had twins last year, has left L.A. for London. [Contact Music]
• "[Quitting the show] was a complete anomaly in my life and my career. I've never missed out on anything. I relished the opportunity to be on Broadway… It's the holy grail for people like me. But I was incredibly ill. The levels of mercury I had, they had no reference for them. I had to be retested three times. Sometimes when you work without stopping, your body gives in. That is what happened. I've done more movies than years I've been alive. All I've done is work… I arrived in Los Angeles in my early 20s and I've been pounding the pavement ever since. But it wasn't until Entourage that my work became accessible to so many people. If there's one thing I'm prepared for, it's rejection." — Jeremy Piven. [Guardian]
• "Sitting on an island smoking my first joint." — Tyler Perry, when asked where he would like to be in 10 years. [Page Six]
• "I told them, don't ask me to grow out my hair or lose any weight. I want to represent real women who have curves." — Amber Rose on signing with Ford Models. She did, however, agree not to get any more tattoos. [LA Times]

The plot: while immersing herself in the local culture, Kidman gets thirsty and even the adorable Rubina Ali and Bollywood star Argun Rampal cannot keep her from her beloved Schwepps... we think. One would think producer Ridley Scott and Oscar-nominated director Shekhar Kapur could put together a one-minute soft drink commercial that makes a little more sense.

Nicole Kidman, Arjun Rampal & Rubina Ali In An Ad For Schweppes [ONTD]

• "It's not like she's asking him for details, but she's thrilled at the prospect of him moving on. It makes things easier for everybody," says a source. Meanwhile, Madge is trying to keep a "low profile" on her "friendship" with A-Rod. [MSNBC]
• Don't count on Reese Witherspoon tying the knot with Jakey G. any time soon (you were waiting for this with bated breath, we assume): Reese says she's not sure she'll ever get married again. "I don't know [if I'll get married again]. I don't think about it much. At the moment, I am not far enough out of being married to think about doing it again," she says. [ Daily Mail]
• Rumors are rampant that Russell Crowe is clashing with director Ridley Scott on the set of the film Nottingham. A source tells Page Six, "Ridley is the only one who is willing to stand up to Russell and tell him he's too fat and that he can't show up four hours late to the set…[Russell] wants someone he can control." Russell plays the Sheriff of Nottingham in this new version of the Robin Hood tale. [Page Six]
• Though initial speculation was that Levi Johnston's mother, Sherry, was involved in selling meth, she was actually apprehended for selling oxycontin, otherwise known as "hillbilly heroin." She's currently out on bail. [McClatchy]
• Eric Dane is still not over the fact that ex-ladyfriend Lara Flynn Boyle was dating Jack Nicholson while she dated Dane in the 90s. "My take on the whole thing was, I'm 30. He's 70. This is not going to go down like this. I couldn't comprehend a 35-year-old woman gravitating toward a 70-year-old man . . . I walked away," Dane says. [Page Six]
• Sam Ronson's Lilo love has been quite lucrative: since the pair got together, SamRon's DJ fee has gone from $1,500 to as much as $25,000 per event. “While Sam never contractually agrees that Lindsay will show up to her shows, promoters, owners and publicists all know that if you book Sam, there’s a high likelihood Lindsay will also show,” an "insider" tells the Daily News. However, the couple apparently bickers constantly. [NYDN]
• Sad news for Led Zep lovers! Robert Plant has said that he does not want to do a reunion tour. "I still see Jimmy [Page] quite a lot and he's very complimentary and supportive of what I'm doing," Plant says. "But we are in different places now and you have to go on to do different things." Then he added, "Do you know how long it took me to climb up onto the stage here - and it's only four steps!" Aw. We've got a whole lotta love for Robert. [Telegraph]
• Tom Hanks is literally the nicest guy in Hollywood: to help raise money for a failing independent book seller called Village Books in Pacific Pallisades, Hanks "sat at at a small table in the back signing everything put in front of him…He stayed a half-hour beyond his scheduled two-hour appearance." The store is now catching up on back rent thanks to Hanks' generosity. Love!!! [Page Six]
• All the British tabs have photos of a no longer skeletal Amy Winehouse frolicking on the beach in St. Lucia. Some are speculating that she is really getting off drugs this time: fingers crossed. [The Sun — Link NSFW]
• "She's keeping it fresh for her customers. I wanted to do nipple rings, and (Aronofsky) said, 'I love it.' And I knew we were on the same page. They pinched them on and used eyelash glue. My breasts got a lot of attention that day." — Marisa Tomei on her role as a stripper in The Wrestler. [ USA Today]
• Paris Hilton's mom, Cathy, had this to say about the recent burglary of $2 million worth of jewelery from Paris's Hollywood Hills home: "I'm just happy that she's okay. But you can't be possessed by your possessions. Those are just things. And I'm happy that she's okay." [E! Online via Yahoo News]
• Unlike her mama, Paris is not so happy-go-lucky about the robbery. "I am devastated. I cannot believe someone broke into my home. They took items that had such sentimental value that no one will ever be able to replace," she says. [Extra]
• A recording of John Lennon drunk and singing a cover of the Lloyd Price song "Just Because" in 1973 was purchased for $30,000. A spokeswoman from the auction house said, "It was six minutes, 16 seconds, and John singing very drunk and with John ad-libbing his own lyrics into the song — so it's actually a fun song to listen to." Hear that people? Start recording your drunk ass singing, it might be worth tens of thousands some day! [CNN]
• A new biography of the King of Pop claims that Michael Jackson is gravely ill. “He needs a lung transplant, but may be too weak to go through with it. He also has emphysema and chronic gastrointestinal bleeding, which his doctors have had a lot of trouble stopping. It’s the bleeding that’s the most problematic part. It could kill him," says biographer Ian Halperin. Halperin alleges that Jackson has "an inherited condition called A1AD — alpha-1 anti-trypsin deficiency. Sufferers lack a protein which protects the lungs." Yikes! [The Sun]
• There will be no strollers allowed at Obama's inauguration, but not because they're a nuisance — but because they're a security risk. Thermoses, backpacks, and chairs will also not be allowed on the inauguration route. [TMZ]

• Geek girls out there, prepare to wet yourselves: Jon Hamm is a self-proclaimed sci-fi, video game and comic book nerd. The Observer caught up with Jon outside the premiere of The Day The Earth Stood Still and witnessed this adorable exchange between Hamm and his girlfriend, Kissing Jessica Stein's Jennifer Westfeldt: "When Mr. Hamm was asked if he still does anything geeky, his girlfriend, Jennifer Westfeldt, rolled her eyes and affectionately nodded yes. 'Oh yeah, I'm a big comic book guy and—' 'Video games, video games, video games!' exclaimed Ms. Westfedt." You can now commence with picturing yourself and Jon Hamm Wii-ing into the sunset. [Observer]
• More sci-fi news! Sigourney Weaver will reprise her role as Ellen Ripley in a new, Alien-related film. "There's definitely uncharted territory for Ripley. Both Ridley Scott and I feel a kind of commitment to that woman. He's as much responsible for who she is as I am." Jon Hamm will be thrilled! [Daily Express]

• People has the first photos of Ricky Martin's 4-month-old twin boys, Valentino and Matteo! Like Alex K. before him, Ricky took the surrogacy route. "Adoption was one option, but it's complicated and can take a long time. Surrogacy was an intriguing and faster option. I thought, 'I'm going to jump into this with no fear." [People]
• A retired Chilean cardinal has denounced Madonna for her sluttish ways. "This woman comes here and in an incredibly shameless manner, she provokes a crazy enthusiasm, an enthusiasm of lust, lustful thoughts, impure thoughts," said Cardinal Jorge Medina during a mass honoring former dictator Augusto Pinochet. Madonna: officially worse than Pinochet, maybe better than Hitler. [AP]
• More proof that crack is wack! Bobby Brown has this to say of his druggie days: "I had a desk like Scarface's in my room, and I kept [cocaine] piled up on it. Every time I walked past my desk, I'd make a line of coke from one end to the other. I'd take a straw and snort a line the same way Scarface did it in the movie. You couldn't tell me nothing. I felt like I was Tony Montana! The world was mine!" [Perez]
• Samuel L. Jackson's reaction to Los Angeles AA meetings? No, no, no. The star has been clean for 18 years, but he can't go to Hollywood area meetings because ""It's just too weird. You hear guys saying stuff like, 'I've been hitting the red wine too heavy and I need to stop, but I want to keep smoking reefer (cannabis) and doing cocaine.'" Maybe that's where Bobby B. is getting help! [Daily Express]
• Holly Montag has come to terms with her sister's marriage to the fleshbeard svengali. ""I was initially a little hurt not being able to be a part of it. But it's her choice and it's a special thing between those two. I support anything Heidi wants to do. I just want her to be happy and she seems sublimely happy." [People]
• Deeply shocking news from Nicole Kidman about new baby Sunday Rose. "She loves puppets!" Noooooooo! Not puppets! [People ]
• Want more asinine information about celeb spawn? Pete Wentz had this to say about baby Bronx. "Every time I see my son, it looks like he's landing on the moon and discovering new rocks and stuff. I mean, every time he looks at his hand, it's like he's Christopher Columbus making it across the ocean. It's pretty awesome." [People]
• Khloe Kardashian has posed nekkid for one of those "I'd Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur" PETA ads. But she's not in her skivvies on billboards to compete with Playboy posing sister Kim. No, not at all! [PETA]
• Former American Idol Fantasia had to put her $1.1 million Charlotte, North Carolina house up for auction to compensate a company that loaned her money to pay taxes in 2006. But don't cry for Fantasia, according to the AP, "The soul singer has a $529,000 home a couple miles from the one scheduled for sale in south Charlotte." This thing makes literally no sense. [AP]
• Director Christopher Nolan is already sketching out ideas for a third Christian Bale-helmed Batman Movie. However, Nolan says, "I wouldn't want to do one if it weren't going to be as good as the first or second. That's not respectful to the fans." [Mirror]
• Speaking of Christian Bale, Click here to see the sexy superhero in the trailer for Terminator: Salvation. Question: is anyone else sick of Christian's breathy "serious action hero" voice? [The Life FIles]
• Kate Winslet is pretty much over people speculating over whether photos of her have been airbrushed. "It’s just one of those silly, crazy things that I’ve learnt to have to deal with.” [Mirror]
• Italian state TV cut the gay sex scene out of a broadcast of Brokeback Mountain, and gay activists are protesting because they feel a similar scene involving heterosexual sex would not have been cut. "I don't believe it was an oversight, I believe it was preventive censorship," says Vladimir Luxuria, a gay rights advocate."[cutting those scenes is] like showing the Mona Lisa without its head." [AP via Yahoo News]
• Jim Carrey says he's a pushover when it comes to girlfriend Jenny McCarthy's son, Evan. Apparently he says yes to "most things" involving the wee chappie. [People]
• Aw, the Jolie-Pitt brood was making gingerbread houses last night. But it must be asked: are they eco-friendly houses? [People]
• Bear Grylls of Man vs. Wild was airlifted to safety in Cape Town, South Africa, after he injured his shoulder while trekking in the antarctic. "It's really good to be back in a normal place…Now I just want to get back to my family ... and have my shoulder sorted out," Grylls said late yesterday. Feel better Bear! [People]
• Of the Today show glib-gate, when he told Matt Lauer that psychology was a "pseudo science" Tom Cruise says, "All I want is to help people. I could have communicated it in a way that was better, no question." [Reuters]
• Desperate Housewives fans, today is your day! The show has just been renewed for 2 more seasons. [E! Online]
• Aw, Enrique Iglesias is endearingly self-aware and sort of dirty! "My target audience is females between the ages of 70 and 85…[they] usually like to give me their knickers in person." [Mirror]

• Kate Moss: Looks sexy in new Donna Karan ads. Donna Karan: Guest judge on Project Runway tonight. That is all. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• "My mother always said it was a good thing I went into fashion because it proved I didn't have any great expectations of myself, and she was right. I haven't made an empire with my name on it. I don't go around calling myself an artist. If anything, I'm a whore. I go wherever they pay me," Karl Lagerfeld. But surely you did that H&M collection for the art, right Karl? [Vogue UK]
  
• Lily Allen, Rinko Kikuchi, Charlotte Casiraghi, Natalie Imbruglia, Thandie Newton, Claudia Schiffer and Emma Watson are all expected to attend the Chanel pre-fall collection in London tomorrow. Wait: Natalie Imbruglia is still around? Remember when she dated David Schwimmer? [WWD, 1st item]

• "I think of advertisers as investors investing in my vision, and it's hard not to take people who don't support your magazine in a different breath. I run a fashion-entertainment magazine, where it's not church and state. To me, it's one big church." —Marvin Scott Jarrett, editor-in-chief of Nylon. At least he's honest? [WWD, 3rd item]
• If you find yourself in New York, might we suggest skipping posing with Santa at Macy's in favor of posing with a giant swan at the Marc Jacobs store? [Fashion Week Daily]
• What? Forever21 knocked something off? For real? The full, shocking story here. [Sassybella]
• Revenue is waaaay up at Guess? No, that's not a question; remember how it's called "Guess?" [The Street]
• Ferragamo and Prada: Both planning on going public next year! Or like, eventually someday. [WSJ]
• "Customers should know the deliveries and that the store is divided by day and evening all the time. When people don't find what they are looking for very quickly, they just leave, and we don't want people to leave!" This is Domenico Dolce, weirdly/sweetly earnest, regarding the re-opening of the Dolce & Gabbana store in New York. [Fashion Week Daily]
• The Gap founders: still planning on opening a modern art museum in San Francisco. The community: apparently excited. Why? Well, we read on. It's going to be called the Contemporary Art Museum at the Presido. "CAMP" for short. Love! [WWD, sub req'd]
• Gucci: The Movie? Directed by Ridley Scott??? Don't tell Tom Ford! [WWD, 4th item]