Sorry if this is off topic or has already been mentioned.
Is it just a "no, duh" thing among the powers that be--lawmakers, school administrators, whomever? Am I missing something? Why DON'T schools in at-risk communities include a regular a curriculum against rape that targets would-be victims (girls, but guys as well) and...well...would-be perpetrators? Why isn't a discussion of rape and mutual consent part of school? During grade school, at least once, counselors might make students aware of the concept of sexual assault at the hands of parents or other adults, so why not rape (at the latest, by sixth grade)?
This article describes a class on "empathy" to counteract bullying (I forget the meat...hope it isn't just a way to let adults off the hook for not intervening, but nonetheless, prevention and dealing with students directly is also part of the solution, right?) Unsurprisingly, it seemed that the results were mixed. Still, at least they're trying. This is a step in the right direction.
It SHOULD be so easy for people to figure out, and yet considering how much the population across the board still think a person's drinking too much, being a sex worker, being married, or "leading someone on" and then saying "no" at initiation of intercourse ALL fail to meet the standards of "rape rape"....apparently, no, this shit is not registering with lots and lots of people.
I still remember the post on just this topic on Jezebel, and am not surprised at one of the reactions I saw from a guy interviewed--no shit, there's such a thing as date rape, or mutual consent. It SHOULD scandalize people that this isn't universally understood as a problem, like murder or theft.
Given that it isn't, how the fuck is this not a part of high school health class? It's bad enough this country seems to let wingnuts dictate sexual health policy among kids, but sexual assault prevention? Is a class that discusses rape too scandalous? Would it offend parents? In a community like THIS, what foundation could any legitimate indignation be based on? #richmondrape
@maude_flanders: Here's why I think rape prevention/condemnation isn't taught in schools (in my bitter, angry fucking feminist opinion):
Because to teach that RAPE IS WRONG, end of story, that idea unfortunately doesn't fit into the rape culture in America. When I posted something about the Richmond gang-rape on my FB, two guys were like "well, unfortunately, rape happens and she should have known better". Thank heavens, sixteen other people (mostly men) jumped all over them for saying such a thing. But I sometimes feel like those 13 guys are the minority in the world. #richmondrape
@ytuhermanotambien: exactly what MichelinG said. I was asking what Maude meant by that. I haven't seen any data that says girls in low-income neighborhoods are a higher risk for rape. There might be a correlation, but I've never heard of it and I do agree that all school systems/families should talk about it regardless of being 'at-risk' or not. #richmondrape
@almiepie: When I wrote the phrase "at risk", I was thinking, based on crime stats of that neighborhood or school district.
Actually, it's true that it should be taught everywhere, but somehow I doubt people would be cheering in their seats at the opportunity to fund this unless they saw it as necessary, and what else would there be but statistics to distinguish that?
That said...I can see it pissing off plenty of students, but yes, actually, I don't see why it shouldn't be part of (at the very least) a high school health course. #richmondrape
@lovecake: its interesting that her brother was so worried about it but "didn't know what to do" he was upset and reported it to her... which is good but he said he was "scared". I'm confused by this. I'm glad he told someone though. At least not all the boys who saw it stood around and watched. #richmondrape
@KentuckyBabe: Richmond is major gang territory, and some of the people involved in the rape were gang members. It in no way excuses people who were standing around and laughing, but I can understand why someone who saw it and walked away would be afraid to report it and get labeled a "snitch," making himself and possibly his family a target for violence. It kind of scares me that they identified this girl, using her photo and real name. #richmondrape
Alright lets get this girl a scholarship fund started right away. Well right after we get a therapy and scholarship fund started for the victim. #richmondrape
Not only did she call 911, then she went to find the girl and comforted her (I guess while the police came). The first, I would categorize as being #$%#& human (though humanity seemed to be sorely lacking that night), the second is truly brave. #richmondrape
I actually get a sick feeling in the very pit of my stomach every time I read this story. I am so happy this woman called the police - but I wonder why her grown, adult brother in law had to ask his 18 year old sister what to do after seeing a teenager being gang raped. I know about the bystander affect, but if it bothers you enough to tell other people, why not take action yourself? #richmondrape
@truckasaurus: Not to defend the brother but do we know he's an adult? Nothing I read gave his age. I can imagine a younger teen being really scared by seeing rape. #richmondrape
The comments about him being scared and about snitching made me assume he was either younger than her or that he had previously been involved with, related to or targeted by gang members at some point.
But that is all assumptions on my part. #richmondrape
@We Don't Live in the 60s: @Atomic Bowling: that's a really good point. I assumed it was her brother-in-law as in her older sibling was married, but you could absolutely be correct.
I guess I'm just grumpy that all those men saw what was happening and it took a woman to say "enough". #richmondrape
@truckasaurus: I'm totally grumpy that it took a woman to stand up when there were all of those witnesses, but I'm glad she did the right thing when others wouldn't. #richmondrape
Just looking at her drives in how young the majority of the kids were (including, obviously, the victim), and for some reason makes me sadder. #richmondrape
Every day or almost, I witness physical or verbal abuse in the metro. No one ever speaks up. One day, I saw a man grope a pregnant woman in front of her toddler while people stared at the wall. Another lady and I intervened, and we got pushed around. No one moved. So this story does not surprise me in the least. #richmondrape
@sara-without-an-h: I know what you mean. It's not gang rape, but when grown adults won't speak up against a groper or a flasher or a street harasser how are we expecting kids to be any better? #richmondrape
@sara-without-an-h: I am ashamed to admit it--I would be frightened. The act is over so quickly (even if the rattling effects for the victim sure as hell linger). I like to think if I was a witness and she was protesting--i.e., I knew it was someone being molested, not a friend or boyfriend touching someone with their consent--I'd scream and try to draw attention to it, to do SOMETHING.
I went on a field trip with my classmates; a man exposed himself to us (ha, of course he did--we were a bunch of teenage girls in our school uniforms, just begging for it). A classmate informed the teacher and she told her to buzz off.
The thing is--I can't actually think of anything the teacher could have done, beyond snapping a picture of the asshole on her cellphone or something, and even if it's humiliating and frightening, one of the reasons these crimes are so difficult to deal with is because the offenders work quickly, and then run. #richmondrape
@sara-without-an-h: I see this and am the victim of this all the time. But the other day I was with my boyfriend and his friend, and we witnessed her being verbally harassed by a belligerent man. I was about to say something, and my boyfriend beat me to it! I was so proud of him.
Not only were we the only people on the platform to say anything, but after it was all over, his friend told him that he was stupid to speak out, because he "escalated" the situation. The friend spent the rest of the night, and part of the next day, trying to make my boyfriend feel bad for saying something. Personally, I think he just felt guilty for being a coward.
So, a lot of the time, people just don't know WHAT to do because they feel helpless and think that anything they do will make the situation worse. #richmondrape
It's weird to admire someone for behavior that should have been filed under "anyone would have done it" or "basic human decency". That aside, high five Margarita, you are a better person than most as it turns out. #richmondrape
Thank god for this girl but I cant help but be a little depressed that the person who called 911 wasnt even around the scene to witness anything. Does that mean NO ONE who saw anything said anything? Pathetic and scary. #richmondrape
As much as the story itself is awful, and mostly makes me sad for humanity, I'm really glad there was one person who was decent enough to do the right thing.
11/05/09
I wish it was more of the norm for someone to call when something of such a horrendous nature is occurring. #richmondrape
11/05/09
11/05/09
Is it just a "no, duh" thing among the powers that be--lawmakers, school administrators, whomever? Am I missing something? Why DON'T schools in at-risk communities include a regular a curriculum against rape that targets would-be victims (girls, but guys as well) and...well...would-be perpetrators? Why isn't a discussion of rape and mutual consent part of school? During grade school, at least once, counselors might make students aware of the concept of sexual assault at the hands of parents or other adults, so why not rape (at the latest, by sixth grade)?
[www.nytimes.com]
This article describes a class on "empathy" to counteract bullying (I forget the meat...hope it isn't just a way to let adults off the hook for not intervening, but nonetheless, prevention and dealing with students directly is also part of the solution, right?) Unsurprisingly, it seemed that the results were mixed. Still, at least they're trying. This is a step in the right direction.
It SHOULD be so easy for people to figure out, and yet considering how much the population across the board still think a person's drinking too much, being a sex worker, being married, or "leading someone on" and then saying "no" at initiation of intercourse ALL fail to meet the standards of "rape rape"....apparently, no, this shit is not registering with lots and lots of people.
I still remember the post on just this topic on Jezebel, and am not surprised at one of the reactions I saw from a guy interviewed--no shit, there's such a thing as date rape, or mutual consent. It SHOULD scandalize people that this isn't universally understood as a problem, like murder or theft.
Given that it isn't, how the fuck is this not a part of high school health class? It's bad enough this country seems to let wingnuts dictate sexual health policy among kids, but sexual assault prevention? Is a class that discusses rape too scandalous? Would it offend parents? In a community like THIS, what foundation could any legitimate indignation be based on? #richmondrape
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Because to teach that RAPE IS WRONG, end of story, that idea unfortunately doesn't fit into the rape culture in America. When I posted something about the Richmond gang-rape on my FB, two guys were like "well, unfortunately, rape happens and she should have known better". Thank heavens, sixteen other people (mostly men) jumped all over them for saying such a thing. But I sometimes feel like those 13 guys are the minority in the world. #richmondrape
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That's one thing "youth centers" or "community centers" note, yes? #richmondrape
11/05/09
Actually, it's true that it should be taught everywhere, but somehow I doubt people would be cheering in their seats at the opportunity to fund this unless they saw it as necessary, and what else would there be but statistics to distinguish that?
That said...I can see it pissing off plenty of students, but yes, actually, I don't see why it shouldn't be part of (at the very least) a high school health course. #richmondrape
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The comments about him being scared and about snitching made me assume he was either younger than her or that he had previously been involved with, related to or targeted by gang members at some point.
But that is all assumptions on my part. #richmondrape
11/05/09
I guess I'm just grumpy that all those men saw what was happening and it took a woman to say "enough". #richmondrape
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I went on a field trip with my classmates; a man exposed himself to us (ha, of course he did--we were a bunch of teenage girls in our school uniforms, just begging for it). A classmate informed the teacher and she told her to buzz off.
The thing is--I can't actually think of anything the teacher could have done, beyond snapping a picture of the asshole on her cellphone or something, and even if it's humiliating and frightening, one of the reasons these crimes are so difficult to deal with is because the offenders work quickly, and then run. #richmondrape
11/05/09
Not only were we the only people on the platform to say anything, but after it was all over, his friend told him that he was stupid to speak out, because he "escalated" the situation. The friend spent the rest of the night, and part of the next day, trying to make my boyfriend feel bad for saying something. Personally, I think he just felt guilty for being a coward.
So, a lot of the time, people just don't know WHAT to do because they feel helpless and think that anything they do will make the situation worse. #richmondrape
11/05/09
Margarita acknowledges the whole "no snitching" culture. I hope with her name and face out there she and her family will be okay. #richmondrape
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That is empathy. #richmondrape
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