Dr. Suzanne Levine, D.P.M, is one of those people who makes all the cliches about rich people seem inadequate. She's a podiatrist in "studded Louboutin boots" who saw a gap in the market for patients who wanted not only healthy, but beautiful feet. After all, health does not an attractive Louboutin make. Accordingly, she does a brisk biz in foot facials, peels, and custom rhinestone surgical booties, so as to make feet look as well-groomed and eerily well-preserved as the taut faces five feet north. "

At her office, or Institute Beauté, as she has dubbed it, Dr. Levine has patented the foot facial ($225), a treatment that includes a foot mask, callus removal and a collagen-inducing copper cream; and a procedure called Pillows for Your Feet (starting at $500), recommended twice annually, involving Juvéderm and Sculptra injections that provide cushioning for foot soles, making it easier to wear sadistic heels. She also administers foot Botox to get rid of wrinkles and swelling-gotta avoid the dreaded cankle!-and does a bleaching treatment ($225) for yellowing toe nails. And then there is the controversial toe-shortening procedure of pesky extra-long second toes-sometimes done to ease discomfort, other times for cosmetic reasons-in which middle bones of the toe are removed, making it easier to squeeze into a wider variety of designer shoes. It starts at $1,500.

No one's faulting Levine, here: clearly, she's onto something. And, she says, she has scruples: She won't shave bones merely for daintiness, and does not believe in surgery just so people can fit in to shoes - except of course, in the case of transgender women, who presumably have dealt with worse pain. Her attitude is, women are going to wear absurd shoes anyway - might as well make it as safe and comfortable as possible. To those who view this as some sort of needle exchange compromise, well, clearly you've never looked a podiatrist in the eye and lied, claiming you'll wear AAA Keds for the rest of your life. Or, for that matter, apologized to a pedicurist before getting your one, post-winter pedi of the year.

That said, this is the most frivolous, shockingly tone-deaf thing we've run across in a while, and we speak as people who follow the peregrinations of Miley Cyrus for a living. Worrying about wrinkles on your feet? This is taking fear of aging to a whole new level. Feet are one of the body's workhorses, and a sort of odometer, and however much you run the mileage back with an electric drill or whatever it is they do in Matilda, "aesthetic podiatry" will only disguise so much - and, more likely, just contribute to the cycle of addiction and insecurity that already plagues a certain subset of women who live in fear of that one gray root showing, that one crow's foot becoming less than plumped. Ms. Levine acknowledges that it's the latest spate of ludicrous shoes that's largely fueling her business - 7" skyscrapers of which Levine says, "the average person cannot walk in them-they're limousine shoes," - which, no one seems to realize are pretty much the equivalent of foot-binding. Quite literally, these shoes show that someone doesn't need to stand, or walk - let alone work! And yet their popularity has waxed as the economy has waned. And, apparently, so has Levine's business. The rich are different? Yeah - apparently they can't smile with their toes.

Time for Toetox? Park Avenue Podiatrist Tends to Tortured Soles [NY Observer]

Paris Hilton has, at this point, been around long enough, and consistently enough, that there's something comforting about her. Whatever's happening in the world, however bad the economy, Paris abides. She's like some kind of oblivious heiress from a 1930's screwball comedy, so maybe it's no coincidence that it feels really good to read her words of wisdom right now. It seems almost unfair for Esquire to just compile a bunch of sound bites: it would make anyone sound ridiculous. And it's not like, historically, Paris Hilton has been such a difficult target in that regard. Does she say absurd things? Yes. But she also says some reasonable ones! Get your death, taxes and Paris fix here:

Asinine:
"I put pheromones in a lot of my fragrances, and that attracts people to you. My new fragrance is called Fairy Dust. I'm dressed kind of like Tinkerbell."

"Trust is just a feeling that you have."

Thoughtful-ish:
"I always send thank-you notes. If somebody has done something really special for me, I'll make them a collage of pictures or a little piece of art."

"You may not be able to be hot when you're seventy-five in a conventional sense. Like, young people won't think you're hot. But your husband will, and so will people your own age."

"I'm not jealous. I don't understand why people are jealous. You have so much better karma in life when you wish other people the best."

Ludicrous:
"Having a nightclub in your house really helps for having a party, because then you don't need to go out."

"Once I've worn a dress, I can never wear it again. I give them to charities and they auction them off to help people with breast cancer, multiple sclerosis, and AIDS. Some that are really, really special, I keep in storage for my daughters. They'll be vintage by then. I think my daughters will love them."

"Because of my last name and the way I look, some people think I'm a spoiled brat. But I'm not like that at all. I'm one of the most down-to-earth people I know out of anyone in Hollywood."

Paris Hilton: What I've Learned [Esquire]

It's really not shocking that since all other modes of self-expression — clothes, food, closet organizing, home decor — have been farmed out, music, the most judgey of all media, should follow. We've all known the anxiety of seeing some judgmental hipster ass reach for our CD book or the shallow elation of having the same person ask casually what it is you're playing. Music conveys taste, sophistication, irony, confidence — this is not news. What shocks me is not that people would want to leave this task in professional hands — but, rather, that they're not embarrassed to admit publicly that they don't have individual tastes and opinions.

Of course, I'm sure they don't admit the music has been curated. (Do they study up, so they can casually drop the names of obscure artists if people ask?) That would defeat the whole purpose. And this sort of casual domestic treachery is the name of the game nowadays — think about the spate of weird commercials in which people try to pass off supermarket desserts as homemade and cheap candles as boutique! But doesn't something in them rebel at relinquishing this most personal of synecdoches? More to the point, as anyone who's logged any time in retail can tell you, being at the mercy of even the most tasteful other's musical whims can be the cruelest kind of torture.

"Hiring someone to make those decisions for you suggests that you simply don't know who you are," says Gary Susma in EW. Well, maybe, but that strikes me as a bit harsh: the truth is, I'm always delighted to get a recommendation or a mix from a friend whose musical tastes I respect — and I'm flattered when people like the bizarre mixes I dish out with regularity (and yes, a part of me is kind of wondering how you get into this racket!) Nowadays, the music you play is judged harshly and often unfairly and I think it's a natural defense to slough off one superficial burden in a superficial world, where we're judged on enough things we can't control. But most of us have the break in place that knows not only that we'd be embarrassing ourselves with our naked insecurity, but that we'd be buying into a culture that fosters it. Is lack of embarrassment a privilege of the new wealth? Makes poverty feel bearable!

Does This Song Match My Sofa? [NY Times]
Do We Really Need To Hire Personal Playlist Consultants? [EW]

• Despite a little wave in the direction of potential independent women voters earlier this year, anti-abortion Republicans feel much better today that McCain is fooling independents and not them about his position on abortion. Of course, he also talked about how he wouldn't have nominated the 4 liberal justices on the Supreme Court despite having voted to confirm all of them but Stephens (nominated before McCain took office), but, details, people.[Time]
• Another juicy tidbit: McCain thinks the dividing line between the middle and the "upper" class is $5 million in yearly income. But it doesn't matter because he's not going to raise anyone's taxes, and especially not yours! [Politico]
• In other laughable news, the Republican National Convention is "going green" by putting out a whole 300 recycling bins and loaning out 1,000 bicycles to convention goers. That should be quite a sight to see. [Politico]

• Bob Remer, a Clinton delegate from Illinois, is trying to kill the caucus systems in the states that have them, but it totally has nothing to do with Clinton failing to get the nomination. He's really concerned about those people in Nevada, damn it! Even if they, you know, like their system fine the way it is. [HuffPo]
• The Amethyst Initiative is recruiting college presidents and calling on lawmakers to reduce the drinking age to 18 from 21. They rightly note that college kids all drink anyway, but MADD and their supporters say that colleges could totes eliminate underage drinking if they really tried. It's worked so well all these years, after all [Boston Globe]
• People in Pakistan are celebrating the resignation of President Pervez "Uncle Pervy" Musharraf today. Instead of two peace signs, he raised his fists. That seems about right for him. [LA Times]