• Luke Wilson is back in Austin, Texas for the holidays, and he's spending them at the Yellow Rose gentlemen's club. Ol' Luke was "getting lap dances and rocking out" to heavy metal. [Page Six]

• Ostensibly the same thieves who stole millions worth of Paris Hilton's jewelery last week have also robbed Erin Wasson. Wasson was unfortunately home during the robbery. Like Hilton, she had also left her door unlocked."Tens of thousands of dollars of jewelry and designer clothing," were stolen from Wasson's abode, "including pieces by Alexander McQueen, Ann Demeulemeester, Dior, Givenchy and William Rast." A prominent publicist living nearby was also robbed. [Page Six]
• Speaking of Paris, rumor is that she and Benji Madden are back on. Says a source, “They are completely still hooking up." [The Superficial]
• This is getting completely ridiculous: apparently at the (probably staged) Los Angeles courthouse ceremony, Spencer refused to say "I do" after Heidi had already said it. Because, according to E!, "In an apparent act of consideration for his prettier half, the bearded one decided to wait. The reason given? The two plan to create a fantasy ceremony for Heidi that would include patching things up with her family, who were disappointed to have been shut out of the couple's ring exchange." [E! Online]
• Trouble in J.Lo's perfect marriage? Both Jennifer and Marc Anthony have recently been photographed without their wedding rings. Also: a source tells Page Six that J.Lo sent her assistant on tour with Marc to make sure he didn't stick his willie where it wasn't supposed to go. Hmm! [Page Six]
• Jeremy Piven's Speed the Plow castmates aren't buying his "sushi defense" — that he left the show because of Mercury poisoning due to excessive sushi intake. After the first performance sans-Piven, former co-star Raul Esparza told the audience, "Today was the first time I really enjoyed playing this show. I hope you weren't expecting a big TV star." Damn, yo. [NYM]
• Apparently the hand injury Shia LaBeouf sustained in his DUI car crash earlier this year is fairly serious, much more so than has been admitted in the past. “Shia’s tendons had fused together, and right after the accident there was talk of a partial amputation," a source tells the Daily News. Good thing he's an actor and not any other job where he'd actually have to suffer the consequences: the writers for the Transformers sequel wrote his injury into the plot. [NYDN]
• Like girlfriend Lindsay Lohan before her, Sam Ronson was hospitalized over the weekend for "exhaustion." Some are speculating that "exhaustion" is actually code for "depression" while others are speculating that "exhaustion" actually means "coke bender." She's already out of the hospital and feeling better. [NYM, Jossip]
• Revolutionary Road director Sam Mendes on filming his wife Kate Winslet doing Leonardo DiCaprio: "a profoundly weird experience…[I had to watch from another room and shout] 'Leo, don't bang her head so hard against the kitchen cabinets…Could you not do it for so long this time?'" [Page Six]
• How much does it cost to wrangle Britney Spears? $16,125, according to a judge. That's the amount of Britney's money her dad, Jamie, will be given per month to continue taking care of his daughter's financial affairs. Her brother Bryan will receive $200,000 for the things he did for Brit before his father was named official conservator. [TMZ]
• Courteney Cox says that divorce from husband David Arquette isn't something she'd ever consider. "I don't know what the future's going to hold, but divorce isn't really an option," Cox says. She says the couple attends counseling to work on their issues. “Therapy helps us. It's so easy to grow apart; marriage takes work. I suppose you can work it out by talking to each other — I would just prefer to have a referee, it reminds us why we're together.” That actually sounds sane. Good for her! [MSNBC]
• Apparently John Mayer hates Jennifer Aniston's dogs, Norman and Dolly, just like he hated ex-girlfriend Jessica Simpson's tiny lap puppy, Daisy. [Dlisted]
• Aw, Girl Next Door Kendra Wilkinson won't show strangers her boobs anymore now that she's in luuurve. “She’s changed so much. She’s not even the same person. … She doesn’t flash anymore. She’s a lot more conservative. She’s so in love," says fellow Bunny Bridget. [NYDN]
• Kirsten Dunst's stalker, Christopher Smith, has been "forbidden from owning (or possessing) a gun, and/or coming anywhere near Dunst, where she lives, her personal assistant or where she works." He showed up at Kiki's house over Thanksgiving and scared the crap out of her. Good thing she's getting the legal protection she needs. [ASL]
• Pete Wentz: Ashlee's breast milk tastes "weird." Pete Wentz: please stop. [E! Online]

• His Diddiness continues, "I'm definitely trying to get in on that in the next two years, for real," he says. [E! Online]
• Kate Winslet says that she liked reading the Feminine Mystique in preparation for her Revolutionary Road role as a miserable 50s housefrau. She calls Betty Friedan a "feisty chick" and then says she supposes that she's a feminist, "In a loose, unofficial kind of way, I think I probably am. I mean, not in a bra-burning way. But I think I am a feminist, yeah." [Guardian]
• Balthazar Getty's foul moods have been alienating his Brothers and Sisters castmates. Getty allegedly started getting surly when his extramarital relationship with Sienna Miller started over the summer, in part because Miller used to date costar Matthew Rhys, but also because some of the cast sided with Getty's estranged wife, Rosetta, the mother of his four children. "They often have to move shooting schedules around to accommodate [him]," a source says. [AP via Yahoo News]
• So it begins: 24-year-old Scarlett Johansson is already fielding questions about the status of her uterus. "I love to work and I'm enjoying myself right now. Someday in the distant future I'm sure I'll want to [have kids]. But I'm not ready for that yet." Scar Jo says. [People]
• Guy Ritchie reportedly banned Madonna from the former couples' mansion in the English countryside for the holidays. “He couldn't bear the thought of her padding round the kitchen next morning like old times — there are too many sad memories," a source says. Aw. [The Sun]
• Jeremy Piven's "mercury poisoning" from excessive sushi intake keeps sounding fishier (heh). Apparently at first he told producers he had mono, then he claimed low-level Epstein-Barr, before finally settling on the mercury story, which has been supported by a doctor with a history of fibbing for celebrities. [TMZ]
• Since Michael Phelps is the closest thing to a real, live superhero we have, it's no surprise that they're making a video game based on his persona. "Swimming will play a role, but it won't be the main event," says Newser, but the manufacturer won't say anything more. What else might Michael be doing? [Newser]
• Click here to see the trailer for Beyonce's new movie, Obsessed, a thriller co-starring Idris Elba and Ali Larter. B plays Elba's wife, and Larter is his stalker. [Just Jared]
• Rut Roh! One of David Copperfield's assistant had his arm broken during a recent performance of a trick called the "fan illusion," in which the unidentified employee was supposed to appear as if walking through a fan, before disappearing in a cloud of smoke. Copperfield's producer Chris Kenner called it "a freak accident," and added "People are always saying that it's magic and it isn't dangerous. This goes to show you that it is." At least it's better than being a Siegfried and Roy assistant. [People]
• People were worried about Paula Abdul leaving American Idol, but apparently they have to worry about Simon Cowell ditching them now, too. “I'll make a decision about (whether to stay with the show) next year," Cowell says, not because of any fracas with Abdul, but because of his workload as a music and TV producer. [MSNBC]
• U2 fans take note! The superstars will release a new album in March called No Line On The Horizon. [Reuters]
• Is Oprah moving to DC in order to be close to the Obamas? Insiders say that Winfrey was looking at a $50 million, 9 bedroom house in the Washington area. Her rep didn't return calls. [Page Six]
• Leonardo DiCaprio and Nicky Hilton ex Kevin Connolly went over to Paris's house to hang the other night. Are we really still talking about her? [Page Six]
• Page Six is implying that Tom Cruise has oral herpes, as they gleefully point out that both Nicole Kidman and Katie Holmes have been photographed with sores on their lips. [Page Six]
• Several stars, including the sore laden Holmes, were interviewed for a new book called The Black Book of Hollywood Pregnancy Secrets. Holmes talks about loving Home Depot, while Kate Hudson says that she finds dating difficult because she's a mom. Plucky Helena Bonham Carter rages against men who criticized her for drinking coffee whilst preggo: "Yeah. You try nine months of gestation and self-abnegation before you start censoring my diet. Your mother was probably on vodka, and do you have three heads?” Finally, Tina Fey says, “I don’t care how many [magazine] covers you’re on. When you’re chasing a 3-year-old around with a pull-up [diaper] hoping she won’t poop on the floor, you’re just like every other mom on the planet.” [NYDN]

Kate admitted that her husband, Sam Mendes, did "yell directions" at Leo, like "grab her thigh!" or "take her face in your hands!" But, Kate swears, Leo didn't really need help. Clip at left.

The Good:


Kate Winslet looks absurdly good.


Not digging the facial hair, but the suit can't be faulted.


Kathryn Hahn channels Madame X. Did the pockets.


Lucas Haas, grown-up.


Zoe Kazan may be going for sophisticated, but the effect is really cute.


Let's be frank: Dave Annable's outfit is only okay. No matter.


The Bad:


Seems like Leelee Sobieski was going for Anita Pallenberg; the effect is more Mrs. Roper.


Red carpet full-timer Kat Kramer takes her usual spot.


Ashley Edner confuses the world, herself with her boots.

[Images via Getty]

"This is going to sound really weird,” she muses, "but I never had a desire to be famous. I never had huge ambitions—never.… I was fat. I didn’t know any fat famous actresses. I just did not see myself in that world at all, and I’m being very sincere. You know, once a fat kid, always a fat kid. Because you always think that you just look a little bit wrong or a little bit different from everyone else. And I still sort of have that. I often look at women who wear great jeans and high heels and nice little T-shirts wandering around the city and I think, I should make more of an effort. I should look like that. But then I think, They can’t be happy in those heels."

At some point in her life, the 5'6" actress weighed almost 200 pounds; she's since had two kids and now says of her workout: "Everyone can commit to 20 minutes, especially if there’s a glass of Chardonnay afterwards."

While her attitude may set her apart from other actresses, Winslet does exhibit some Hollywood-esque behavior, especially when it comes to her new film, Revolutionary Road, for which she teamed up with her Titanic costar, Leonardo DiCaprio. She hopes it will earn her an Oscar. "Do I want it? You bet your fucking ass I do! I think that people assume that I don’t care or don’t want it or don’t need it or something. It’s hard to be there five times, and I’m only human, you know? But I don’t go home and cry, because we’re all grown-ups here."

Isn’t She Deneuvely?, Lady In Waiting (slideshow) [Vanity Fair]

Related: Revolutionary Road (trailer) [IMDB]