If not, however, perhaps you'll enjoy hearing the saga of writer Johanna Stein's placenta-centric revenge-served cold. Here's a, ahem, taste:

I have a friend, a good friend (who I'll call K) who is sweet and funny and adorable and once took a shit in a box, tied it up with a bow, and gave it to me as a joke. Unlike her, I shit you not.

It was K's birthday, so when she handed me the beautifully wrapped gift the only thing I could think of to say was, "but it's your birthday".

I was shocked. Disgusted. But mostly I was impressed. And ever since that day I have been plotting my revenge. My poo revenge.

And here it is, in Delivery Room 6b, staring me in the face, about to be tossed out like so many pounds of glop.

I imagine how the deed will go down: I will hand K a hefty box tied with ribbon. She will look at it and say, "but you're the new mother…"

It will be sublime.

We won't spoil the outcome, save to say that it's not nearly as gross as placenta smoothie.

"Sweet (Gloppy) Revenge" [Johanna Stein via Strollerderby]

An interview in the Daily Beast answers a few of our burning tepid questions: first, it seems Ron Weinstein ("a lean, youthful-looking salesman in his sixties with a full head of salt-and-pepper hair and a rather intense manner which he attributes to his ADHD") did indeed discourage his wife from writing the ill-judged Madoff's Other Secret, despite the fact that they'd been collectively cleaned-out by her boyfriend's ponzi scheme. Oh, and he only learned about the affair last year, after she started shopping the book.

Of the affair, he says he kinda gets it because his ADHD made him difficult to live with and sent him into rages, and because Madoff was rich and powerful. "Affairs are commonplace and shouldn't be such a big deal," he says. "However, having an affair with the person who is the biggest crook in the world and stole all my assets is another issue entirely."He hasn't read the book, but as long as it's out, hey, he hopes it does well. "Half of the profits are mine."

And then there's this, which is as inscrutable and complex as late Joyce - but we're guessing doesn't reveal much when actually analyzed:

Citing the Judeo-Christian principles "this country was built on," he says he told her, "I think the masses are not going to feel a whole lot of empathy for you. I don't think they understand. I read blogs, I read the comments, and I get nauseous. As hurtful as [the book] is to me, it was probably necessary or she'd be a basket case. It doesn't mean I have to agree with her, but I understand it. When people write these things on these blogs, what the hell do they know? They're looking at the surface." He describes the cliché-ridden attacks-"She cheated on her husband, she's a money hungry slut"-stops talking in order to collect his emotions, then explains: "I dislike the choice she made. I am not okay with it, but I try to understand it."

Oh yeah, no rage there! But, as he explains, bitchy as she may seem to the outside world, his wife is really in turmoil: she's depressed, her ego's been trashed by her financial losses, and all the publicity is "taking a toll" on her. In short, this is as passive-aggressive and creepy a few paragraphs as we've run across in many a moon. "She said it was her book and that if I wanted, I could write my own," says Weinstein, and adds that he's thinking about it. Now, on the one hand, there's something undeniably intriguing about exploring the dynamics of these affairs; while Weinstein is quick to deny any similarities between his situation and that of disgraced political wives like Jenny Sanford or Elizabeth Edwards, the very contrast in the dynamic - and his wife's - and the continued shame of being a "cuckold" in our society, is pretty hearty food for thought. That said, we're not sure anyone would line up to read The Secret Behind Madoff's Other Secret: My Wife Cheated On Me With Bernie Madoff 15 Years Ago, But I'm Not Bitter, Really.

Bernie Made Off With My Wife [Daily Beast]
Related: Former Mistess Feels Good About Airing Winky Dink Madoff Dirty Laundry

You shouldn't be worried about "your woman" murdering you unless you've done something to majorly piss her off, right? So yeah. They're playing into some stereotypes. "Don't let" your woman watch insinuates that she needs permission, etc. Stirring things up! Some wonder if watching this show will turn your average woman into a vigilante. Writes Reed:

Several of the series actresses have dismissed that idea. "I think one of the values of the series is that it speaks not only of the depth of the female psychology, but rather it speaks [of] the human condition, no?" said Cecilia Suárez, the actress who plays Ana "Corrosiva," an acid-wielding anti-heroine who delivers a brutal payback to her control-freak plastic surgeon lover.

In a world where injustices against women (wage discrepancies, rape, objectification and marginalization) go unpunished, surely the series provides a vicarious thrill for viewers. Women aren't going to become man-killing hellcats just from watching this show! Just like watching Dynasty didn't turn rich ladies into hair-pulling brawlers. That said, I suspect this may be my new favorite program. Chances are, an English-language version will arrive in the U.S. next year and be called Stabby. (Chances also are that they'll ruin the concept and dumb it down for American audiences.)

The Get-Even Ways Of 'Mujeres Asesinas' [LA Times]

P.S.
Sometimes the women get revenge on other women, btw:

Here's the blood-soaked trailer:

• Yay, heart-warming story! The International Breast Milk Project ships breast milk, or liquid gold, to Africa, where nine-thousand bottles is enough to feed six babies for a year. Being that lil' Suri Cruise was weaned on a Hubbard-approved cocktail of barley water and corn syrup, we sure hope Katie didn't let her milk dry up and go to waste. [ABC News]
  
• Capitol Hill finally takes notice that postpartum depression is more than just a few tears; Congress has authorized $3 million in federal funds for research. Brooke Shields, Britney Spears, and Andrea Yates all respond, "No shit!" and "That's it?!" [ABC News]
  
• A woman dug up and stole her dead boyfriend's ashes after his family banned her from the funeral. Aww, that's kind of sweet! [CNN]

• Kim Cunningham admits to killing her brother-in-law when she found out he had repeatedly raped her 9-year old daughter. She was acquitted of murder by two juries and though some say the ruling is condoning vigilante justice, we say, "You know what? Fuck that, good for her. Where's the parade?" [ABC News]
• A burqa-wearing bandit robbed a bank in North Carolina, leaving the police scratching their heads as to whether the perp was a man or a woman. Umm, we see some pretty groomed brows in the photo so our vote is a woman... or gay drag queen. [ABC News]
• Breast cancer patients find that friends, family, and even strangers offer loads of unsolicited advice and wisdom in an effort to be supportive, most of which is totally crappy. "Pshaw, chemo is no big deal!" is not the best way to tell someone you're there for them, okay? [MSNBC]
• Shocker. State by state, the US sucks at caring for women's health, with Vermont being the best and Mississippi being the worst. As for who else failed miserably? Washington D.C., home of our nation's capital. Betcha the First Lady gets the best Pap smear in district! [MSNBC]
• Heavy sigh. A top political strategist estimates that Republican women will, in the end, vote for Hilary Clinton because they want a female president. We're not sure if that's true, we'd take Clinton over any Republican any day of the week, but why is that people don't understand voting for any woman is not a feminist statement? [AP]