This Election Season, Would You Rather Someone Pooped In Your Mouth or Your Eyes?

So, here’s the situation: you’re going to get poop on you. The reasons why aren’t important, not for the purposes of this hypothetical, just: there’s going to be shit—people shit—either in your mouth or your eyes. Someone’s going to put it there. Which do you choose? How come? Is there a self-evidently better choice…

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