• Chris Brown whined to Vibe about how Oprah Winfrey treated him after he assaulted Rihanna saying, "I didn't get a call from them or anything. I felt embarrassed, but at the same time I felt stabbed in the back."

• He continues: "Ok, Oprah you have so much power and people really listen to what you say. You don't know anything that went down and you jump to conclusions and start bringing people on the set that have no similarities to me other than a domestic dispute. And then compare them to me when she's around me and knows me. She could have called me and been like, 'Chris, let me get you on my show and I'm going to do this kind of segment.'" As for BET: "The BET Awards was horrible. I was watching it, holding my face like, ‘Oh my God this is wack'... They were so bent on not getting me there that they messed up their own show." The new issue, which mark's Vibe's relaunch, features Chris on one cover and Drake (who was linked to Rihanna in May) on the other. And to answer Chris's question, yes, we "r still down" about domestic violence. [BET]
• Tiger Woods' wife Elin Nordegren has moved out of their home, according to nosy neighbors. Sources say she's living nearby, but Tiger and his reps are keeping her move secret and trying to convince her to move back into their house. [Radar Online]
• Sources say Tiger Woods continued pursuing Rachel Uchitel after his Thanksgiving weekend car crash, texting her repeatedly and telling her he wanted to find a way to see her. [TMZ]
• A source claims Tiger Woods hasn't appeared in public recently because Elin Nordegren broke his tooth. "Elin confronted him about texting Rachel Uchitel and flew into a rage," said the source. "She apparently threw the phone at his mouth and broke one of his teeth... Elin then grabbed a golf club and chased him around the house, doing tens of thousands of dollars in damage. He ran out to the car barefoot to get away from her and was in such a state of panic that he crashed." [Star]
• Reports that Tiger Woods' mother-in-law Barbro Holmberg was at the scene of the crash are untrue. She just arrived in the U.S. this weekend. [TMZ]
• A source says when Tiger Woods was taken to the hospital after the crash, he had to be admitted directly to the intensive care unit so he could be intubated and have his breathing stabilized. Though his neighbor reported that he was asleep and snoring on his lawn, a source says "that was the sound of an airway that wasn't stable." [MSNBC]
• According to new documents, the Florida Highway Patrol wanted to do a blood test on Tiger Woods because a "witness" (probably Elin), "stated that the driver had consumed alcohol earlier in the day and the same witness removed the driver from the vehicle after the collision." The request was denied and the police determined alcohol wasn't a factor. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Davenport, who is a friend of Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren, says the media's "insinuation that [Elin] would be aggressive or attacking is just preposterous. ... She always handles herself with class." [ET]
• Tiger Woods posted another apology on his website today — to his sponsors, not his wife. He wrote: "As the final round of the Chevron World Challenge begins, I would like to extend my heartfelt thank you to everyone affiliated with the event, especially our amazing title sponsor, Chevron." [TMZ]
• BREAKING: Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren had a meeting yesterday with a man wearing a suit. [TMZ]
• Ashley Dupre, the former escort who slept with former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, weighed in on the Tiger Woods scandal for no apparent reason. She says of the women coming forward about their affairs with Tiger, "I don't agree with that they're doing. I don't agree with coming forward," but adds, "When you sleep with a married man... first of all, you're only helping them stay married." [Extra]
• Mindy Lawton, one of Tiger Woods alleged mistresses, was charged with felony DWI in January for rear ending a car that hit another car and failing a sobriety test. [TMZ]
• According to this guide in People, Tiger Woods may have as many as 12 mistresses, including porn star Holly Sampson, an "Anonymous Florida Cougar," and "Trailer Trash Orlando Neighbor." Okay. [People]
• Yes, it can get worse: One of Tiger Woods' mistresses contacted Playgirl with an offer to sell pictures of his penis that she took on her cell phone. [Perez Hilton]
• Michelle Duggar, who is pregnant with her 19th child, was rushed to the hospital this weekend. "Michelle Duggar was admitted to an Arkansas hospital due to gallbladder issues," says a TLC rep. "The pain from a gallstone was generating some contractions... Though there were some fears that the baby was in trouble initially, it soon was discovered to be solely the gallstone causing the discomfort. Michelle is resting comfortably, and the baby is doing fine." [People]
• Alexa Ray Joel is doing better after being hospitalized for a suicide attempt or "reaction to herbal medication." Her rep says, "She is feeling much better. She is with her family and looking forward to getting back on track... I want to thank everyone for their outpouring of love and support." [People]
• Pete Doherty was arrested outside a bar in Germany for throwing a pint glass at a parked car, smashing the back window. The bartender said: "He was drinking shots and constantly asking where to get cocaine." [Ireland Online]
• Russell Brand says Katy Perry has helped him settle down. "It was a deep craving within me – I mistook it for lust," he said. "I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough – to get the right one. I'm ever so happy." As for marriage, he said, "I don't know, get married, you say? That would be good, isn't it? I want to have children – that would be good." [People]
• Though Nas admitted he'd been smoking weed and failed several sobriety tests when he was pulled over for DUI in September he says, "You know what it is ... profiling man ... but you, they can't stop a good man from shining, man." [TMZ]
• Heidi Androl of The Apprentice was pulled over for DUI around 3 a.m. because someone called the police to report that she was driving only 35 on the California Freeway. She performed "poorly" on several field sobriety tests. [TMZ]
• Chaz Bono and his girlfriend Jennifer Elia bought children's books at Kitson for Kids this weekend, so Jennifer must be pregnant. [Perez Hilton]
• Andrew McCarthy is going to direct an episode of Gossip Girl in the spring. He says the show's stars are different from the Brat Pack because, "They are much more savvy than we were... We were just a bunch of dumb kids running around." [People]
• Eminem's new song "Elevator," Includes this line: "Sorry, Lance, Mr. Lambert, and Aiken ain't gonna make it/ They get so mad, when I call them both fake/ It's all these fucking voices in my head, I can't take it." It seems tame for him, but he pronounces "fake it's" as "faggots." Adam Lambert Tweeted: "Wow, Eminem mentioned me in a song?! I must be doing something right!? Even if he used the 'F word,'" Clay Aiken and Lance Bass haven't responded. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Sadie Frost says she doesn't know or care if Jude Law and Sienna Miller are back together: "I don't really know what the situation is, because it doesn't affect me. They're in the same circles, I'm sure they're friends, it's not my business to ask." [Telegraph]
• South Africans are mad that Jennifer Hudson has been cast as Winnie Madikizela-Mandela in an upcoming film instead of a native actress. In a press conference, the president of the Creative Workers Union of South Africa said, "We want to develop our own Hollywood, and yet we keep bringing in imports." [Times Online]
• A couple from Michigan was arrested for allegedly blackmailing John Stamos for $700,000 and threatening to release photos of Stamos from a 2004 party that would "hurt his reputation." [The Smoking Gun]
• According to an account posted on Weezer's website, their tour bus crashed early yesterday morning in upstate New York when the bus slid on black ice and dropped about 10 feet into a ditch. Rivers Cuomo cracked three ribs, but thankfully his wife and baby, who were also on the bus, were uninjured. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Al Pacino will play Shylock in Shakespeare in the Park's production of The Merchant of Venice this summer. He previously played Shylock in a 2004 film. [NYT]
• American Family Insurance has taken a cue from Domino's and pulled it's ads from the MTV show Jersey Shore. "After seeing this show over the weekend, had we known the content, we would not have placed our ads on this show," said a rep. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Aniston hosted a party for 100 friends and employees at her house on Sunday. "Jen loves Christmas, and her house was festively decorated with a huge tree, twinkling Christmas lights and fragrant flower arrangements," says a guest. [People]
• There was speculation that Morrissey cut short a concert in Las Vegas because he was offended by drunken audience member vomiting and brawling, but he cancelled a concert the next day because he had "blown out his voice." [Daily Express]
• Jenny McCarthy says she's excited that Jim Carrey's daughter Jane Carrey is expecting a baby. "I think he's going to make the world's best [grandfather] because he is so animated," said Jenny. "I also think I am going to rock as the grandma. I love her and I am excited about this baby." [People]
• Eddie Vedder and Jill McCormick, the mother of his two daughters, got engaged this weekend. [E!]
• Jenna Fischer announced that her wedding to Lee Kirk will take place next summer in L.A. "We just got our save the date cards in, and they're adorable – after many hours and many proofs later," Fischer says. "We're going to hold them until after the holidays before sending them out so they don't get lost in the holiday mail. They were fun to pick out and [it] was a very fun girlie experience to touch the paper." [People]
• Padma Lakshmi spoke about suffering from endometriosis at MIT, where researchers are developing new treatments for the illness. "I guard my privacy closely, and it seems contradictory when I'm standing here, talking about my period," she said. "But you always have to remember the greater goal. What's more important — my privacy, or the lives of women? I chose the latter." [Reuters]
• The Bonnie Hunt Show has been cancelled. [Perez Hilton]
• Brian Bonsall, who played Andy on Family Ties, was arrested this weekend for allegedly hitting his friend in the face with part of a bar stool. There was already a bench warrant out for his arrest from a 2007 assault charge. [TMZ]
• Michelle Rodriguez says working on Avatar was "like working on Star Wars — the first one. You know how now you watch Star Wars [Episode I in 1999] and you're like 'I could've rented or bought the video game then I'd be in control of what's happening' — because everything's so digital and it doesn't feel real. But you watch the first one [Episode IV in 1977] and I don't know how you feel, but I wonder, 'Why does this feel so much greater than the digitized world he [George Lucas] created now?' And I realize it's because of the props. And that's the kind of live-action world that [James Cameron] created." [L.A. Times]
• Glee's Mark Salling says, "I hate the mohawk... It was cool for a while, but I've had it for like a year, you know I'm kind of over it. I feel better when I don't have it." [People]
• Reese Witherspoon says she's forgiven British Prime Minister Gordon Brown for mistaking her for Renee Zellweger last week when she spoke to Parliament about domestic violence. Reese said: "She's lovely and she's short and blond and southern. So I understand! She actually called up a (mutual) friend of ours and said she'd heard about it (Brown's mistake) - it happens all the time. I have a dog and I took the dog to the vet, and they said, 'No no, we're waiting for Renee Zellweger's dog' and I said, 'Actually this is my dog.' Everybody gets us confused a lot. But there's worse people to be confused with other than a lovely actress!" [Daily Express]

• Elin Nordgren isn't leaving Tiger Woods, but she is revising their prenup. A source claims she's "being paid a hefty seven-figure amount - immediately transferred into an account she alone controls - to stick with her husband."

• Elin has reportedly demanded a total rewrite of the couple's prenuptial agreement. Others say they're in marriage counseling, and a friend of the couple adds, "She and Tiger have had problems in the past, this is obviously as bad as it's ever been, but she's not leaving as of now." [MSNBC]
• Elin Nordegren reportedly called Jaimee Grubbs, Tiger Woods' alleged mistress, to confront her about her affair with her husband on Friday after his car crash. Grubbs told her co-workers that a woman called from an unidentified number and when she asked who it was, the woman said, "You know who this is because you're fucking my husband." [TMZ]
• Jaimee Grubbs told Us: "Elin has never called me as far as I know. I did get a call from an unknown number last Tuesday (the same day as Tiger left me a message), but I never picked up." [Us]
• A "friend," who claims Jaimee Grubbs told her all about the affair, says she asked her about Woods being married, "and she said that she just put a blind eye to it... She just played the dumb card and whenever it came up she just changed the subject or never let on that she knew he was married." [E!]
• Jaimee Grubbs told all of her co-stars on Tool Academy that she was having an affair with Tiger Woods. "We all knew about Jaimee's affair with Tiger Woods because she told us," said her castmate Aida Menaska. She also talked about the affair on camera. " I guess they cut it out because VH1 didn't want to cause problems for Tiger Woods and his wife," said Menaska. [Radar Online]
• Us editor Bradley Jacobs says that before the magazine posted the voicemail Jaimee Grubbs claims is from Tiger Woods it was vetted by the Us legal team. "It's very clear that this is Tiger's voice," Jacobs said. "He's a very recognizable figure. He's a billion dollar brand. We all know his voice. As soon as you hear it, you know it's Tiger." [CBS News]
• An attorney for Tiger Woods' neighbors says they saw him after his accident on Friday and his injuries were "consistent with a car wreck and inconsistent with him being beat up... The scratches on his face were consistent with someone who maybe was in a minor car accident and hit his head on the windshield. ... None of his injuries looked like he was beat up by his wife." [ESPN]
• Rachel Uchitel (Tiger Woods' other alleged mistress) and her lawyer Gloria Allred have been complaining about the paparazzi hounding them... so they had lunch at Spago and fed the photographers cookies afterwards. [TMZ]
• Roman Polanski will be placed under house arrest at his Alpine chalet on Friday. He will have to wear an electronic bracelet and stay in the house as officials decide whether to extradite him to the U.S. [AP]
• Michael Lohan gave a two-and-a-half hour deposition today against his former BFF Jon Gosselin for TLC's lawsuit against Jon. "They asked questions regarding my involvement on a business level with Jon Gosselin; deals that were negotiated, transactions that did occur and basically my deal with Michael Heller," said Lohan. "I think they have a very, very strong case, one that I definitely don't think they'll lose. So good luck to Jon." [Radar Online]
• Four people accused of breaking into the homes of Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and other celebrities pleaded not guilty to felony burglary charges today, including alleged ringleader Nicholas Prugo. [AP]
• A judge has thrown out a defamation lawsuit filed against the Dixie Chicks by the stepfather of one of the three 8-year-old boys killed in Arkansas 15 years ago. The man says Natalie Maines accused him of being involved with their deaths because she made statements supporting the "West Memphis Three," the teenagers convicted of the crimes. [AP]
• BREAKING: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie held hands at a party hosted by George Clooney and Brad asked people how their Thanksgiving was. [Us]
• According to USA TODAY's Celebrity Heat Index, which measures media exposure, Angelina Jolie is this month's hottest celebrity, followed by Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. Kourtney Kardashian is the most popular reality star, to which we say, "Her?" [USA Today]
• Lily Allen has confirmed she's going to take "one or two years off from recording and performing music" after a concert at the O2 in London in March. She says she's going to start a record label, set up a fashion shop with her sister, and "spend some time in the home I've built for myself." [BBC]
• Sad news: David Beckham's 83-year-old grandfather died today of lung cancer. He and Becks were very close. [The Mirror]
• British Prime Minister Gordon Brown referred to Reese Witherspoon as Renee Zellweger when she visited Parliament to promote Refuge and Avon's global campaign against domestic violence. It wasn't just a slip of the tongue either. He said, 'I'm very grateful that Renee Witherspoon is leading this campaign. She spoke movingly at the funeral of Anthony Minghella and I welcome her to the House today," but Zellweger spoke at the memorial. [Daily Mail]
• Kate Hudson said of the pictures of her kissing A-Rod at the AMAs, "There's a guy that's shooting probably 60 frames a minute. That was a sideswipe on the cheek. That wasn't even a kiss. I quickly kissed the cheek. And I remember one of the headlines the next day said, MAKEOUT SESSION. What is wrong with people?" [People]
• Redmond O'Neal appeared in court today for a progress report and told the court, "I have been doing treatment awhile your honor... I want to do something different. I want to stay clean." The judge said, "I told you to turn it around, and it looks like you did." [Radar Online]
• Ugh. In the TV special Psychic Hollywood: The Search For Truth, which airs next week, Alana Stewart asks medium James Van Praagh to contact Farrah Fawcett. He says, "She (Fawcett) wants to thank you... and she's bringing these beautiful flowers." [Daily Express]
• Camila Alves, Matthew McConaughey's girlfriend, will hose the new season of Shear Genius. [People]
• Stevie Wonder broke down and nearly cried at the Rock and Roll 25th Hall of Fame Anniversary Concert while performing Michael Jackson's "The Way You Make Me Feel." John Legend gave him a hug. [TMZ]
• Pamela Anderson is being sued for $5,000 by a contracting company for allegedly refusing to return tools and other supplies to one of the people who worked on her Malibu estate. [Radar Online]
• American Idol winner Fantasia Barrino is starring in a new VH1 reality show called Fantasia For Real, which debuts on January 11. [N.Y. Post]
• Sara Rue, the new spokeswoman for Jenny Craig says, "My weight has fluctuated my whole life, and because I've been on television since I was 11 years old, everyone has seen it." [People]
• A judge denied a request from Verne Troyer's ex-girlfriend to make her temporary restraining order against him permanent. [TMZ]
• Kimora Lee Simmons may return to judge America's Next Top Model next season. [E!]
• Kimora Lee Simmons would like you to know that, "Djimon Honsou and I enjoy discussing anything from politics to wine, and we have enriching, private, happy, balanced lives together... That's probably the thing that would shock people most: We do things like go to the grocery store and have fun with our kids. We're a normal family, doing the best we can." [People]
• "I don't want my children to feel they have a sense of entitlement," says Sarah Jessica Parker. "I want them to work hard and be challenged. That's hard to do when you have everything you need and want, so I am working on those values all the time." [People]
• When asked what she thinks of White House party crashers Michaele and Tareq Salahi, table-flipper Teresa Giudice of The Real Housewives of New Jersey said, "It's a little crazy... I wouldn't go to any place I wasn't invited to. It's poor etiquette. It's not my style." [Us]
• "It's just so natural for me to be married," says Khloe Kardashian. "I was never somebody who was a serious relationship person. Now I'm all in and it's so easy. It's so comfortable for him and I both." [People]
• "I would not advise any actor necessarily, if he was really thinking of his career, to come out," says Rupert Everett. "It just doesn't work and you're going to hit a brick wall at some point. You're going to manage to make it roll for a certain amount of time, but at the first sign of failure they'll cut you right off. And I'm sick of saying, 'Yes, it's probably my own fault.' Because I've always tried to make it work and when it stops working somewhere, I try to make it work somewhere else. But the fact of the matter is, and I don't care who disagrees, it doesn't work if you're gay." [The Sun]
• Will Ferrell says, "I would love to play Simon Cowell in a movie - heck, I would love it. It would be my dream role. He's become a legend in five years, nobody knew who he was five years ago and now he's one of the most famous people on TV. It wouldn't be that hard for me to play him because I see a lot of Ron Burgundy in Simon Cowell." [Daily Express]

[Vancouver, November 19. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Vancouver, November 16. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Texas gal Renée Zellweger will spend the holidays in Philadelphia with Bradley Cooper's parents. Sounds like the plot of a romcom. But it's real! [NY Daily News]

• Award season has begun! Precious star Gabourey "Gabby" Sidibe and Hilary Swank both won Hollywood Awards (given by the Hollywood Film Festival) last night. [AP]
• The father of one of the teenaged girls arrested in the Lindsay Lohan burglary case says that his daughter "was in the wrong place at the wrong time, associating with the wrong people." [People]
• In this story about the teen burglars, attorney Blair Berk, who represents some of the victims, blames "paparazzi shots and magazine coverage" for "increasingly prying into the private homes, schools and personal possessions of stars. Another lawyer says: "It would be fun to do capers. It was all about fun. It was one of those cases of you get bored, and it was something to do with a little technology." The young women arrested were classmates at Indian Hills High School, which is "set atop a leafy incline in an upscale neighborhood" where there are BMWs and Audis parked in the student lot, and nearby roads have horse trails for equestrians. Seriously, people: This is a screenplay waiting to happen. [LA Times]
• Congrats to Jennifer Esposito and tennis player Mark Philippoussis, who are engaged. Did you know they were dating? [People]
• BREAKING: Madonna planted a tree. [NY Daily News]
• Hugh Jackman's four-year-old daughter wants to be a chocolate chip muffin for Halloween. His nine-year-old son wants to be Al Capone. And Hugh? "I'm going as James Bond," he says. [NY Magazine]
• Sources say Balloon Mom Mayumi Heene may have confessed to the hoax to keep her children from being taken away from her, or to spare them from having to testify against her husband. [CBS News]
• The Balloon Boy case has been handed to the District Attorney's Office, and the DA has requested more information before making a charging decision. [TMZ]
• Heartbreaking: La Toya Jackson says that Paris Jackson is dealing well with her father's death ("Paris thinks and talks about her father all the time… She's doing very well, writes a lot and she wears his shirts every day. They still smell of him and it helps her feel close to him."), but Prince Jackson "just doesn't want to speak about it" and Blanket is "just a very sad little boy" who cries and cries. Luckily, La Toya says, "They all go to therapy." [MSNBC via Daily Mirror]
• The woman accused of stalking Justin Timberlake has already been served with a restraining order from Metallica and was sentenced to a year in prison for violating a court order to stay away from Axl Rose. [TMZ]
• Henry Ian Cusick, aka Desmond on Lost, has settled a sexual harassment suit with a former production staffer whom he allegedly grabbed and touched inappropriately. [TMZ]
• Bill Cosby was honored with the 12th annual Mark Twain Prize for American Humor last night, and stars like Phylicia Rashad, Malcolm-Jamal Warner, Jerry Seinfeld, Sinbad, Chris Rock and Willie Nelson were in attendance. [USA Today]
• Suzanne Somers has a new book in which she reveals she was misdiagnosed with "full-body cancer." Her book promotes alternative medicine and avoiding chemotherapy; she says: "It's easier to try the traditional route and then, if it fails, go to the alternatives, but often it can be too late. My friend Farrah Fawcett— would she have made it if she had gone alternative first? There is no way of knowing." [NY Daily News]
• Egads. The Anna Nicole Smith trial is still going on. An expert psychiatrist has testified that Anna was an addict. [NY Post]
• Alec Baldwin knows how to spell. [Page Six]
• Black people on Gossip Girl? What is the world coming to? [Page Six]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom have "romantic" new tattoos. [People]
• Uh-oh: Mel Gibson's pregnant girlfriend is refusing to sign a pre-nup. [MSNBC via National Enquirer]
• Some guy sniffed Pamela Anderson's underwear. [The Sun]
• This Mary J. Blige track from the Precious soundtrack is powerful, sad. [The Life Files]
• It's been 25 years since U2 released The Unforgettable Fire. It was recorded at an Irish castle; producer Danny Lanois says: "Bono was looking for a different kind of location, a building that had ghosts in the walls and some kind of a sense of history… So that we weren't just in an empty modern warehouse, that we were actually feeling the presence of goings-on from the past." [Reuters]
• Eric Clapton has pulled out of a Rock and Roll Hall concert to have gallstones removed. [AP]
• Bruce Springsteen has canceled a show in Kansas City after his cousin — who was a roadie — was found dead in a hotel room. [USA Today]
• After his stint on Dancing With The Stars, next Tom DeLay plans to be an "expert" on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "You owe it to yourselves and your loved ones to see this again and again. Memorize it and say to yourselves, 'I saw genius in my lifetime.'" — One of Liz Taylor's 20 Tweets about the Michael Jackson movie This Is It. [CNN]
• "I've been on the road for pretty much five years now and I'm tired. I've kind of written about everything that has happened in my life for the past 10 years so I think I need to live some more before I start writing more." — Lily Allen, on quitting the record biz. She also says she might do musicals in London's West End: "It hasn't been confirmed yet but I'm keeping my options open." [Telegraph]
• "Reading about somebody else's tough experiences of being a mother, you're suddenly like, ‘My God, I've got a kid and I don't have time to read this. I've got to go do it.' There's no time. If he's sleeping I'm trying to sleep and when you're breast-feeding you're the milk machine. There's no time to pick up the guitar, much less go for a walk or have a beer. The first year of Henry's life has been just an insane earthquake for me… I waited a long time to have children because I had this career that was kind of like my kid, it required as much nurturing. There's no amount of hassle that could be bigger than my love of Henry." — Minnie Driver doesn't have time to read parenting blogs. [Daily Express]

[Vancouver, October 24. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Lindsay Lohan wasn't surprised by the negative reaction to her Ungaro debut, as she feels people are always out to criticize her: "I am a target. I don't know why I am, but I am, and I accept that." [TimesOnline]

• "Everyone is entitled to their own opinion," Lohan says, "I didn't expect everyone to be completely loving the collection. It is the same with everything I have done. I knew that people were going to target me." [TimesOnline]
• Meanwhile, Lindsay's been dropped by her record label, is reportedly not getting paid by Ungaro (except for receiving free clothes), and, according to a source, her recent behavior during Paris Fashion Week might be a sign that she's readying herself for reality television: "She was being followed by a camera crew wherever she went," says the source, "We saw them filming her at the Vogue party and a bunch of other clubs around Paris." [PageSix]
• The crew accused of breaking into Lindsay's home is quickly turning on each other: Alexis Taylor, one of the suspects, claims that suspect Nick Prugo is responsible for everything: "I know for a fact Nick did all of these burglaries. He did every single burglary, he told me this after the police let him go. Nick is blaming people, trying to get the blame off himself." [TMZ]
• However, two other members of the dreadfully-named "Hollywood Hills Burglar Bunch," have previously been convicted for misdemeanor shoplifting. [TMZ]
• "I'm going to play more mums than sex symbols. I'm too old to play younger characters. When you live in LA you can't go anywhere without being criticised, on your purse or the fact that you have gained weight or that you have got spots on your face."-Catherine Zeta-Jones, who has an affair with a 25-year-old babysitter in her latest film. [DailyExpress]
• Simon Cowell's neighbors aren't big fans of his nightowl ways: "People arrive at 11pm, then the music starts and goes on until 2am or 3am. People around here want to get on with him, but he's not making it easy for us to like him.' [DailyMail]
• Tom Sizemore's ex-girlfriend is suing him for being a dead beat dad.[TMZ]
• Morrissey remains hospitalized after collapsing on stage last night; his condition is currently being reported as "stable." A fan at the concert says that Morrissey "didn't look particularly well" while performing, but continued struggling through the song until he eventually collapsed. "He kept putting his hand up to his mouth as if he felt sick or perhaps he was trying to hide something, but he didn't look particularly comfortable. He got through the whole song though ... to rapturous applause at the end." [AP]
• Avril Lavigne's soon to be ex-husband, Deryck Whibley, is getting the couple's mansion in the split. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Aniston is reportedly starting a new late-night talk show for the Oprah Winfrey Network. [DailyExpress]
• The movie Cocktail is being turned into a Broadway musical, and Katie Holmes might be up for a starring role. In related news, I will be singing "Kokomo" all day long. [PageSix]
• Thinking of dressing up as Billy Mays for Halloween? His family says it's A-OK. Mays' son, Billy Mays III, is even holding a "Hallow-clean" costume contest; the winners will receive "various Billy Mays goodies as prizes." [People]
• "I've come across one female engineer, no female producers. It's such a male-dominated industry. My manager (Nicola Carson) is really cool. She's setting up nights where women in the industry come together, empowering women. I think that's great. Otherwise, it's just all men: management are men, everyone in your record company is a man, and it's not good."- Leona Lewis [Guardian]
• Amanda Seyfried and Dominic Cooper are still going strong, even though they're often separated by 5,000 miles. [Telegraph]
• Sandra Bullock is caught up in a custody battle between her husband, Jesse James and his ex-wife, Janine Lindemulder. Lindemulder was just released from jail, and James has asked a judge to determine if she's fit to share custody of the couple's daughter, Sunny. Bullock and James may have to testify at some point. [TimesOnline]
• "I don't know yet, I'm still fooling her into thinking I can dress her. She can buy nasty pinks when she gets her own cash. Wash the car, and you can buy your own pink." Stella McCartney on putting "nice pinks" into her Gap children's collection. [TimesOnline]
• Brad Pitt was in a minor accident yesterday; he lost control while driving and fell off of his motorcycle. No worries, though: he's fine. [TMZ]
• Britney Spears' new boyfriend, Jason Trawick is "absolutely fantastic" with her sons, says a source, ""When you see him with them, you wouldn't think for a moment that he wasn't their dad. He treats the kids like they are his own." [USWeekly]
• Tavis Smiley's name will be removed from Texas Southern University's communication school because he hasn't fulfilled a promised $1 million donation. That's way harsh, Texas Southern University. [UPI]
• "Children are amazing for so many reasons and one of them is that they kind of punctuate your life. Often our lives go by so fast without enjoying the moment and being able to reflect. When you have a person living in your house that is growing next to you it's just amazing to watch and reflect the passage of time."-Amy Poehler, whose son, Archie, turns 1 today. [People]
• Bill Cosby will receive this year's Mark Twain Prize for American humor, an award he's turned down twice before because he didn't want to be associated with the profanity performers were using to honor past nominees, especially Richard Pryor. "I told them flat out no because I will not be used, nor will Mark Twain be used, in that way." [AP]
• Keira Knightley has reportedly beat out Scarlett Johansson for the role of Eliza Doolittle in the upcoming adaptation of My Fair Lady. [Telegraph]
• Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson disappointed a security guard when he refused to pose for a picture for the guard's son: "The Rock got all annoyed and said he can't take pictures with everyone who asks," says a source, "The best part is that when the guy said 'Fine, but my son isn't a fan anymore,' The Rock gave him his trademark stare!" [PageSix]
• "There was no plot against me. There was no setup. It was all my fault. I think that my wrongdoing was much greater than Bill Clinton's. There's a different justice for people who are public figures than for those who are not."-Roman Polanski, in an interview given to Esquire magazine before he was arrested last month. [PageSix]
• Shakira says he plans to start a family once her tour ends: "My body feels like it is asking to reproduce, to have a huge belly and carry babies. And when the baby comes, I don't want to be in the middle of 100,000 projects." [NYDN]
• Bradley Cooper has asked Renee Zellweger for "some space" in their relationship. "Bradley is enjoying his status as a hot successful star and doesn't want to settle," says a source. [DailyMail]
• Katy Perry and Russell Brand are reportedly looking for a home together in Hollywood: ""Katy's just the girl to keep Russell on his toes and he's head over heels. He keeps telling us he's never met anyone like her and he knows she's the one for him. He's 34 and has been playing the field for years now and he's thinking this could be the time to settle down," says a source, "She loves his sense of humor. He totally cracks her up and she says it's really hot when they get together." [ShowbizSpy]
• Anne Hathaway will be a bridesmaid at Emily Blunt and John Krasinski's wedding; the bride will be wearing a gown by John Galliano. [ONTD]
• Courtney Love says she's returned to New York City, as her employees in LA "tried to take me to the loony bin." [NYDN]
• "I got that after we shot Clerks. I'd broken up with a girl and was feeling blue so I was drinking a lot of boxed Zinfandel. My friend was like: "That's awesome, man – why did you get it?" I said: "Because I'm always late, right?" He goes: "That's the White Rabbit." So I have the Mad Hatter on my arm and it has no significance whatsoever, except to remind me not to drink wine out of a box."- Kevin Smith on his Mad Hatter tattoo. [Guardian]

• Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise were surprise guests at a "massive" Scientology party in England last week.

Four thousand other Scientologists — including John Travolta and Kelly Preston — were part of a "rapturous, fist-pumping crowd." It was the 25th anniversary of the International Association of Scientologists. Fun? Oh, also: There were protesters outside, and Tom said: "They're squirrels. Stuck in an electronic incident. It makes me so angry!" Wait, what? [Us Magazine]

• Speaking of Travolta: The extortion case has gone to the jury. [TMZ]
• This could be amazing: Ridley Scott is in talks with Angelina Jolie to play a femme fatale role in Gucci — a drama about murder and decadence in the Gucci fashion dynasty. In 1995, right before he was about to reestablish the brand by debuting Tom Ford's line, Maurizio, the grandson of founder Guccio Gucci, was gunned down in Milan. [Variety]
• I'm sure you'll find this simply shocking, but Gerard Butler has had a threesome in the past year. [The Sun]
• What's this? Renée Zellweger says she hasn't signed on for a third Bridget Jones flick?!?! "I get asked every single day, and I don't know anything," she says. "It's a rumor." [E!, Us]
• Halle Berry's daughter Nahla is learning to play golf. No, really: daddy Gabirel Aubry says: "She's learning to play golf. She has a little hole in the backyard." [People]
• Rumpus, a Great Dane who starred in three Lady Gaga music videos, was found dead after a hike in Los Angeles. [TMZ]
• Colin Farrell has a newborn son, his second child. [Independent]
• Heidi Montag didn't go to her sister Holly Montag's birthday party because no one was paying her an appearance fee. [Fox News]
• Poor Dave Chappelle was trying to set the Laugh Factory's endurance record for continuous stand up comedy, but five hours into his routine, he walked away to go to the bathroom. Disqualified! [USA Today]
• Boo. Mark Ronson will never work with Lily Allen again. Boo. [The Sun]
• A series of emails reveal that the Swiss Federal Office of Justice faxed the U.S. Office of International Affairs letting the Americans know about Roman Polanski's planned appearance in Zurich and asking if the US would be submitting a request for Polanski's arrest. [CBS News]
• Three New York prison officials have quit their jobs following a scandal involving rapper Foxy Brown; they reportedly let her do a photo shoot to promote her new album, despite the fact that she was behind bars. Investigators will try to reveal if she received preferential treatment. You think? [Contact Music]
• Gossip Girl paychecks: Blowing in the wind. [Page Six]
• Alec Baldwin's got jokes! Speaking at the Elle Women In Hollywood event, he said: "I want to assure you that I didn't steal this role from a more qualified woman. There was an audition process. The audition required me to move a couch, fall asleep in front of the TV, and open a particularly stubborn jar of pickles." And! ""If Tom Cruise would simply lower his quote by a mere $29 million, my salary would not make a difference. My annual salary is the budget for Altoids on one of Tom's movies." And! Renée Zellweger "is so tiny, but she's got a big voice. I've been to parties with her and you can hear her voice anywhere, but you can't understand a word she says." More at the link. [People]
• Mischa Barton is trying to trademark her name in Australia, but there's already a company called Mischa Accessories. What to do?!?! [News.com.au]
• Victoria Beckham will be a guest judge on So You Think You Can Dance — in the UK. Sorry 'Mericans. [Daily Mail]
• Viewers submitted almost 9,000 questions for Kate Gosselin to answer during her TLC one-hour special on Monday. Here's one more: When will you go away? [People]
• More on this in Midweek Madness, but Life & Style is proclaiming its latest issue (out today) a "Special Gosselin-Free Issue." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Guy Ritchie is a distant relative of King Edward 1, and when you look at a side by side comparison, there's a resemblance! The nose? And the jaw? [Daily Mail]
• Rob Burnett, executive producer of The Late Show with David Letterman, has replied to NOW, who called the workplace a "toxic environment." Burnett's letter reads: "As an employee of David Letterman's since 1985, I have personally found the work environment on his shows to be fair, professional and entirely merit-based at all times." He also points out that 58% of the Late Show staff are women. [LA Times]
• A fan approached Freida Pinto in London; Freida accidentally bumped into her; the woman stumbled and fell in front of a car; Freida rushed to make sure the woman was okay; everyone was fine and it was a happy ending caught on camera. [This Is London]
• Take a deep breath and relax: Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom's prenup is a done deal. [TMZ]
• OMG! Dancing With The Stars flu outbreak! Run for the hills! [People]
• Salman Rushdie is pissed that his ex-girlfriend said he was still obsessed with his ex-wife, Padma Lakshmi. He says: "I long ago turned the page and moved on." [Page Six]
• Glenn Beck travels with an armed guard. Even when he goes to the bathroom. [Page Six]
• "A strip club worker accused of beating to death the ex-fiance of a Real Housewives of Atlanta cast member has been freed on bond." [CBS News]
• At the link: James Gandolfini, Elaine Stritch and fat jokes. [Page Six]
• Blind items! "Which married music mogul is said to have impregnated an unmarried woman who works for his label in marketing? She's on maternity leave while he's mulling options. Which still gorgeous ex-supermodel doesn't use her own skin-care line, which she hawks on TV? She secretly uses Somme Institute's MDT5 regimen instead. Which son of a rock icon used his name to score six free tickets to a Broadway show, but then never showed up?" [Page Six]
• "The trouble is, before, I felt married to two people — Pete and our management." — Whatshername. [Daily Mail]
• "I wish to make it perfectly clear for the record that my manager, Claire Powell, who I have known for the past 16 years, is my manager and a personal friend. She has never betrayed me or done anything other than support me, which is more than can be said for my ex wife." — Whatshisname. [The Sun]
• "There were times when I thought that a whole bottle of pills would go down easy… Then I noticed the gun in my hand. I was careless with it… I kept my finger pressed right to that trigger … and if I moved that finger an inch in the right direction… I would have blown my brains out." — Hulk Hogan writes about his suicidal thoughts after his divorce in his new book. [Page Six, Gatecrasher]
• "I am an atheist. I have a very different take on who God is. Man invented God because he needed him. God is us." — 87-year-old Carl Reiner, who has two new books out. The story at the link details his fascinating life from a high schooler in New York to working in the garment industry to becoming a writer/director. [LA Times]
• "I know what they're eating and I know what they're doing. Their friends' parents understand their vegetarian and no-TV needs. I give them age-appropriate messages. It's just like most parents don't allow alcohol or cigarettes. I tell them that everyone does things differently and that's OK. It's very important to us to raise nonjudgmental children who don't go finger-wagging. When they're driving themselves around, they're going to make their own decisions, but fast food isn't something I'm gonna facilitate. Still, at some point they"re going to make their own decisions. You give your children wings so they can fly." — Mayim Bialik on raising her kids holistically and via "green mothering." [HuffPo]
• "I've offered to come on Saturday Night Live because I thought I would help them get the ratings. Because clearly that humor that they had when they first had Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi ... has gone (with) this (current) cast of characters. I thought I would show some benevolence as governor and help them out a little bit." — Governor David Paterson, who is often mocked on SNL for being blind. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I've written two autobiographies and posed for Playboy. I think I've pretty much been out there. But this is definitely the most exposed I've ever been." — Carnie Wilson on her hew reality series, Carnie Wilson: Unstapled, in which viewers will see her trying to take off about 50 pounds of "baby weight." [AP]
• "We've had a real good collaboration. Crucially, she approved me as director, and she didn't have to. We had some discussions that were very important — my convincing her that I didn't want to take her baby and run away with it, or tell a story that was counter to the spirit of what she was trying to tell. I see myself, in the last few movies I've done, as adapting literary properties into film, so that's how I treated this one. We got along like a house on fire." — Chris Weitz, who's directing New Moon, kept in contact with Twilight series author Stephenie Meyer. [Hollywood Reporter]
• "I like kissing women sometimes. Women are pretty. It doesn't mean I'm necessarily sleeping with them." — Adam "Glambert" Lambert, to Details. You saw the pix, right? [Page Six]
• "He was eating chips and dip and he was laughing so hard, he started choking. I thought I'd killed Tony Romo. Here it would be like killing David Beckham or Pele, it was a scary moment."— Jeremy Piven told a deadly joke. [Mirror]
• "We have found the quality of life so much more enriching and fulfilling. The civility, the culture, the people and its beauty have reawakened me and have smoothed out some of my bleak and jagged views about people and life." — Lisa Marie Presley, who had twins last year, has left L.A. for London. [Contact Music]
• "[Quitting the show] was a complete anomaly in my life and my career. I've never missed out on anything. I relished the opportunity to be on Broadway… It's the holy grail for people like me. But I was incredibly ill. The levels of mercury I had, they had no reference for them. I had to be retested three times. Sometimes when you work without stopping, your body gives in. That is what happened. I've done more movies than years I've been alive. All I've done is work… I arrived in Los Angeles in my early 20s and I've been pounding the pavement ever since. But it wasn't until Entourage that my work became accessible to so many people. If there's one thing I'm prepared for, it's rejection." — Jeremy Piven. [Guardian]
• "Sitting on an island smoking my first joint." — Tyler Perry, when asked where he would like to be in 10 years. [Page Six]
• "I told them, don't ask me to grow out my hair or lose any weight. I want to represent real women who have curves." — Amber Rose on signing with Ford Models. She did, however, agree not to get any more tattoos. [LA Times]

Let's get one thing clear: I do not accept Katie Holmes as a fashion icon; she has not earned it, IMO (which counts for exactly nothing, but still). And yet: this is pretty fab.


Emily Blunt, on the other hand, has shown chic and confidence and a distinctive style from the get-go. And yes, I'm psyched about The Young Victoria.


Speaking of signature looks: Renee's sticking with the classics that won her that "best-dressed-list" inclusion.


And while the furbelowed trousers may confuse me a bit, no one does suits better than Robin Wright (Penn?).


Willa Holland's super-flattering LBD is one of the night's prettiest.


Unlike Sofia Vassilieva, I rarely feel that leather trim adds that hard-edged je ne sais quoi.


Kind of digging Jenna Elfman's consistent commitment to flapper-maternity.


Miranda Cosgrove's take is more questionable, although she pulls it off by a hair. (Not the Chris March kind.)


Not digging? Julianne Moore's bizarre earth-mother sack. Although it's very...nurturing.


Speaking of "not the most flattering thing she's ever worn," I give you... Diane Kruger.


It's hard to know how to feel about Kat Dennings' trench-dress, because her 10-ton shoes draw all attention, gravity.


Why so modest, Zoe Saldana? You look gorgeous!


It's nice to see Dianna Agron out of a cheerleader's uniform. Not, specifically, in these shoes.


Obviously, everyone's a winner. But if we had to have a least-favorite? Might be Cat Deeley's 90's nostalgia.
shoes.


What more could we ask? Answer: nothing. Maybe an umbrella.

[Images via Getty]

[Paris, October 7. Image via WENN]

Katie Holmes, Emily Blunt, Julianne Moore, Renee Zellweger and Zoe Saldana all look amazing — although poor Emily is… obstructed in her pretty shot. But instead of famous-for-being-famous ladies like the Kardashians, these are women who are using their talents: Katie just finished shooting The Extra Man and Don't Be Afraid Of the Dark; Emily is filming The Adjustment Bureau with Matt Damon and just wrapped Gulliver's Travels — plus she's in The Wolfman; Julianne has four films coming out in 2010; Renée has a flick called Case 39 coming later this year and two more in production (including the Bridget Jones sequel; Zoe Saldana has six movies scheduled for 2009/2010.

While it's great that Elle picked some stunning, impressive ladies to feature, why do all of these women have to share the month of November? Couldn't each have had a month of their own? Because if Elle has, as the saying goes, blown their load, then next month we might get stuck with Jessica Simpson wearing plaid. Again. As in, for the third time.

Women in Hollywood [Elle]
5 Covers For Elle's Women In Hollywood Issue [ONTD]

Earlier: Why Do Women's Magazines Pick Cover Girls Who "Don't Work?"
Jessica Simpson's Elle Cover: Waist Not, Want Not

• Oh Christ: Jennifer Aniston "burst into tears in her trailer" while filming in New York.

The "unlucky-in-love actress" was late coming out of her trailer while filming The Bounty a few weeks ago, and allegedly tearfully said to an assistant: "I need a moment. This scene reminds me of Brad and me." A source says: "While she enjoyed flirting with Gerard on set and put a brave face on every day, privately she is still very fragile." Eyeroll! (Note: Her rep says this story is "ridiculous… it never happened.") [Page Six]

• By the by, Jennifer Aniston went to see Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig in A Steady Rain on Broadway on Tuesday. [Gatecrasher]
• Samantha Burke, who had a dalliance with Jude Law, gave birth yesterday in Florida. [Page Six]
• What the what? Renée Zellweger is not going to gain a bunch of weight for the third Bridget Jones flick? A source says she will wear a fat suit, out of concern about the health effects of quickly putting and then losing 30 lbs. [MSNBC]
• Katherine Heigl made the news of her adoption public the same day Ellen Pompeo gave birth to a daughter of her own, and a source says: "It looks like they were trying to one-up one another." There's something very Penelope about this: "Well my kid was born earlier than yours, and is already at Harvard, so…" [Page Six]
• John Travolta took the stand yesterday, admitting that his son Jett was autistic and suffered from a seizure disorder — having seizures every five to 10 days. [MSNBC]
• Travolta also said that the ambulance took 40 minutes to reach his son, and by the time his son got to the emergency room, he was not alive. [NY Post]
• The alleged extortionists in the John Travolta case have been caught on video haggling over money; their lawyers will try to get the videotape thrown out of court on the grounds it was illegally recorded. [TMZ]
• Lily Allen: Quitting the music biz. She blogged: "Just so you know, I have not renegotiated my record contract and have no plans to make another record (applause). I do however remain a fan of new music, so this is not some selfish crusade. The days of me making money from recording music has been and gone as far as I'm concerned, so I don't (at this point) stand to profit from legislation… If you can't sell your music, you can't go on. It's that simple." [Digital Spy]
• Lily Allen will concentrate on acting; she will be in a production of Neil LaBute's play Reasons To Be Pretty in London's West End. [Daily Mail]
• Photos of Kelly Bensimon will be in Playboy. A source says: "Kelly is telling everyone that she might be on the cover." The snaps were taken years ago by Kelly's ex, Gilles Bensimon, but a source says: "They're sexy, but they won't set the world on fire." [Page Six]
• Mackenzie Phillips has revealed shocking details of her relationship with her father, and John Phillips' ex wife, Michelle Phillips (who was in the Mamas & The Papas), says: "Mackenzie has a lot of mental illness. She's had a needle stuck up her arm for 35 years. She was arrested for heroin and coke just recently… The whole thing is timed. Mackenzie is jealous of her siblings, who have accomplished a lot and did not become drug addicts." But Michelle Phillips daughter, Chynna Phillips, who is Mackenzie's half sister, says: "After long nights of heroin use, (Mackenzie is) claiming that she once woke up and that my father was on top of her having sex with her. Was he actually raping her? I don't know. Do I believe that they had an incestuous relationship and that it went on for 10 years? Yes." [MSNBC]
• Christina Aguilera recently traveled to Guatemala with the World Food Programme to see the impact of hunger; . Guatemala has the fourth highest child malnutrition rate in the world. Christina says: "WFP urgently needs donations to keep feeding some 150,000  women and undernourished children – I want to raise awareness and open people's eyes so they can get the funds they need to keep on working… One of the biggest lessons I'm taking away from this trip is the importance of healthy food. If a child under two doesn't get the nutrients they need, we can never fix the damage later on." [WFP]
• Kirsten Dunst will testify today against a man accused of burglarizing her hotel room. [NY Daily News]
• Kanye West is being prosecuted for breaking a paparazzi's camera at LAX last September; last Friday, his lawyer went to the judge and pushed back the hearing until late October. Is he still trying to keep a low profile? [TMZ]
• Hmm: Kanye West has posted a video promoting his "Fame Kills" tour with Lady Gaga. So maybe the tour is on after all. [KanyeUniverseCity]
• "First new Michael Jackson song set for release; posthumous single 'This Is It' to hit airwaves" [Gatecrasher]
• Macy Gray was eliminated from Dancing With The Stars and was too distraught to go on Jimmy Kimmel Live afterward, like most eliminated contestants do. Her partner, Jonathan Roberts says: "She put her whole heart into the show. She feels like she let her fans down." [ET]
• Real NYU students find Gossip Girl's version of NYU laughable. [NY Post]
• Robert Rodriguez and Rose McGowan: Still on. [Page Six]
• Eva Longoria Parker says she wants to go back to school and enroll in a master's program in Chicano studies and political science to learn more about her Mexican roots. She's a Texas native, but her family is originally from the northern Mexican city of Monterrey. [AP]
• In the Anna Nicole Smith case, search warrant affidavits suggest Howard K. Stern put his name on prescriptions for drugs that were given to Smith, and claim that a total of 44 different medications were prescribed for Smith under a number of other names, including Stern's. [NY Post]
• Remember how Suzanne Somers said that Patrick Swayze should have fought his cancer "nutritionally"? Whoopi Goldberg didn't like that, and says: "Patrick did everything and went everywhere to try and stay healthy as long as he could. That he's been gone a week and this statement came out is bad timing and bad taste and Suzanne, you should know better." Now Suzanne says: "In a casual conversation at a private party (with someone who never identified himself as a reporter) at the Toronto Film Festival last week, I was asked about this beloved actor. It was never my intention to make an official statement about his passing. I was not informed or aware I was being interviewed. I would never have been so insensitive as to offer a public statement so close to his untimely passing. I sincerely apologize if my comment has caused any additional pain to his family during this difficult time. I send my deepest condolences for their loss." [Perez]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Jennifer Jason Leigh is pregnant; she and director husband Noah Baumbach (The Squid and the Whale) are expecting a baby in March. [ONTD via National Enquirer]
• Michael Moore stirred up trouble on Good Morning America yesterday, exposing the stripped rights of permalancers. [NY Post]
• Survivor winner Richard Hatch was denied his request to serve the remaining weeks of his sentence for tax evasion in home confinement. He'll have to stay in jail. [USA Today]
• "Phyllida Law, mother of the actress Emma Thompson, has had her stolen gargoyles returned two years after they were stolen after announcing she had put a curse on the thieves." [Telegraph]
• Q: How traumatic is it for you to not be wearing tights and poofy britches?
  A: "It's very easy. I do miss sliding off the back of a horse, but apart from that it's all good. It's actually rather wonderful running around, blazing a Glock on my hip." — Joseph Fiennes on his new show, FlashForward. [Washington Post]
• "I'm a bit scared of being single and scared of getting into another relationship, but I'm married to my work right now." — Natalie Imbruglia, who split from husband Daniel Johns in January 2008. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I took a couple years off and, during that time, I felt like I wanted to know what was important to me, what I really loved and what I was interested in. And if I even wanted to make films anymore. I felt I had done what I had to do. I contemplated being a hermit. I went to a distant mountain top that you could only walk to. No electricity. No water. I spent about five days there and thought, 'This is fantastic. Maybe I am a hermit.' " — Jane Campion, on life after her 2003 film In The Cut, which critics panned. [USA Today]
• "Once I got the part, I did some work with a coach. Everybody else in the show is doing a modern Southern accent and I wanted something old-fashioned. There are no contractions. Bill never says can't or won't. It's always, 'I did not want you to do that,' which is funny because you then find yourself doing it in everyday life, saying things like, 'I cannot stand pains aux raisins.'" — Stephen Moyer on his True Blood character. [Telegraph]
• "I am fine — happy and healthy. It's irresponsible when people obsess about my shape and size. I appreciate there are young girls and women who look at me as a role model and it is untrue to say I do not eat and I am unhealthy. 'I have a healthy diet, a healthy lifestyle and plenty of energy to run after my three energetic boys and travel the world managing my fashion business." — Victoria Beckham. [Daily Mail]
• "We did have a few moments of friction when we were tired or after a long day of shooting. [Jennifer Grey] seemed particularly emotional, sometimes bursting into tears if someone criticized her. Other times, she slipped into silly moods, forcing us to do scenes over and over again when she'd start laughing. I was on overdrive for the whole shoot - staying up all night to do rewrites, squeezing in dance rehearsals, shooting various scenes - and was exhausted a lot of the time. I didn't have a whole lot of patience for doing multiple retakes. It was horrifyingly, hypothermically cold in that lake, and we filmed that scene over and over. And despite the fact that Jennifer was very light, when you're lifting someone in water, even the skinniest little girl can feel like 500 pounds." — Memories of making Dirty Dancing, from Patrick Swayze's memoir. [Gatecrasher]

[Vancouver, September 12. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Carrie Prejean is suing Miss California USA officials, saying that, by firing her, they're guilty of religious discrimination, defamation, and intentional infliction of emotional distress. She claims officials tried to get her fired by asking her to pose for Playboy.

• Organization officials say she was fired because she missed appearances, but Prejean says a "fabricated a fraudulent list of some 50 public appearances allegedly missed by Prejean which they released to the media in order to justify her termination as Miss California USA." Donald Trump isn't named in the suit even though he owns the organization. [TMZ]
• Miss California USA co-executive director Keith Lewis issued a statement saying, "I would guess Carrie sees it as a chance to get publicity for her upcoming book because in the interviews I have seen, she talks about the suit and the book in the same breath... For us, it has never been about her beliefs and we have always just wanted to move on. But it seems like Carrie really has nothing new to talk about or anything new in her life so the impression is she just keeps looking for ways to rehash her position as a victim because of her onstage answer." [TMZ]
• A lawyer for pageant co-executive director Shanna Moakler said, "As everyone who watched or read her public statements is well aware, Ms. Prejean's unfortunate and bigoted statements are responsible for any public humiliation or damages to her reputation that she has claimed to have suffered. Ms. Moakler strenuously denies that she did anything wrong and looks forward to proving that in a court of law." [People]
• On the Today show Joe Jackson said of Michael Jackson's death being ruled a homicide and learning of his drug use, "I'm not angry, I'm mad … Because I didn't know all this was going on." He added that the family "wants justice to be done," but said he didn't know if charges should be brought against Dr. Conrad Murray. [People]
• Nearly 1 million people have watched a video on YouTube called "Michael Jackson alive?! Seen coming out of coroner's van!" but a spokeswoman for Germany TV station RTL says the video was created to show how easy it is to spread rumors online. "We sent out a press release before we did the video to alert everyone that it was fake, but once posted it spread really fast," she said. [CNN]
• Macaulay Culkin's rep says of the rumors that he is Blanket Jackson's biological father, "The inquiries are too preposterous for us to even acknowledge." [TMZ]
• Renee Zellweger was in a car accident this morning in Los Angeles. There were no injuries and a source says, "This is not her fault. Someone made a U-turn into her." [TMZ]
• The police have released more details on DJ AM's death. He had texted friends about a Las Vegas gig he had scheduled for Friday night and they contacted the police when he missed his flight. [People]
• A spokeswoman for the New York City Medical Examiner's office denied reports that suicide had been ruled out in DJ AM's death saying, "We have ruled nothing in and we have ruled nothing out. Everything is still pending. Nothing has changed." [E!]
• Dr. Frank Ryan, who performed surgery on DJ AM in 2003, says, "Adam and I became friends after the surgery. One side of him the public may not be aware of is he was very philanthropic. One of the things I want to get out to the public is what a phenomenal guy he was." [E!]
• "Every time I met [DJ AM], he was such a wonderful person, full of life, very bright," said Katy Perry. "It continues to remind everybody to live life to the fullest [and] love the people around you." [E!]
• Katy Perry says of guest judging American Idol, "I might become a little bit of a buddy with Simon because whenever I watch that show, as much as he's an asshole, he's a very truthful, honest asshole. I don't want to break their hearts, but how many of us know that one person that has been trying and trying, and doing karaoke and little gigs here and there at, like, an open mic. And nobody has told them they can't sing in pitch-for, like, 15 years... You're like, 'Somebody needs to say something' and unfortunately, I might be that gal to tell you the truth." [E!]
• When asked if she has any regrets about leaving American Idol, Paula Abdul replied: "You know, to say 'no regrets' isn't easy. I feel like I have been such a big, huge part of the success of the show from day one. I loved being able to be the artist's artist; being there from my point of view of knowing what it feels like to be vulnerable and to be out there wanting to achieve the most magical moment in a minute and thirty seconds. To be able to do that was an amazing experience and the show was wonderful for me in that regard... I'm going to miss the experience of watching young talent evolve into a place where they get to take off and soar." [TV Guide Magazine]
• Kelly Clarkson cancelled a performance at the Minnesota State Fair after suffering from voice-related problems during the sound check. [UPI]
• Audrina Patridge says of Heidi Montag's musical career, "I feel like Heidi, you know, she's doing it for fun, where a lot of singers and people, they work their ass off, and they actually have amazing voices and they can really sing and perform, and I feel like a lot of people don't get to experience what Heidi has, going on in front of a billion people and perform on TV... I just don't think she's taking it that serious, and that's what's kind of disappointing for me, for music lovers out there." [People]
• Audrina is leaving The Hills soon. She says, "I'm almost done with The Hills. We're in the middle of finishing these episodes, and I'll be leaving then... It feels like I'm graduating... I'm taking the next step and growing up and maturing and moving on in my life." [Us]
• At the link is a teaser for Madonna's upcoming music video for "Celebration," which features Jesus Luz. [People]
• Mel B and her husband Stephen Belafonte are suing a man they say backed out of a $2 million business deal and forged her signature on documents. [TMZ]
• Twins Lisa and Michelle Hull say Ryan Jenkins tried repeatedly to pick them up in the months after his marriage to Jasmine Fiore. One time he invited them to his hotel room on their birthday and Michelle says, "My sister and I stopped by. We then happened to notice there was a large Jacuzzi filled with bubbles and rose petals. He offered us champagne. It was a little uncomfortable." [Radar Online]
• Jasmine Fiore's remains will be cremated and her ashes will be scattered in Santa Cruz. There will be a memorial service in Las Vegas but a date hasn't been set. [TMZ]
• A federal appeals court ruled that Paris Hilton can sue Hallmark Cards for using her picture and catchphrase "that's hot," without her permission. [Reuters]
• At the link is a video about a charity campaign Lucy Liu started to help needy children in Peru. [TMZ]
• Victoria Beckham will appear on the October cover of Elle. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Rufus Wainwright, his sister Martha, and Norah Jones held a concert in Bridgehampton, NY, that had to be moved inside because of rain. By the end of the show the sun started coming out and Wainwright said, "It always suns when I sing because I'm a Wainwright." [WWD]
• "Maybe my crazy time is coming up. Let's see what happens. Maybe I'm just a late bloomer. But I think it's also just my nature. I was thinking today when I was driving, How am I going to make sure that [my son] Kingston never does anything bad and doesn't get arrested? I was thinking, How did I stay out of trouble? And I know it's just ‘cause my parents are so strict. I mean, I'm still scared of them." — Gwen Stefani on why she's never in the tabloids. [ONTD]
• Demi Moore insisted to French Marie Claire that she's never had plastic surgery, saying, "It's completely false – I've never had it done. I would never judge those who have – if it's the best thing for them then I don't see a problem. But I don't like the idea of having an operation to hold up the aging process – it's a way to combat your neurosis. The scalpel won't make you happy... The day I start crying when I look at myself in the mirror might be the day when I'm less adamant about not having it done. For now I prefer to be a beautiful woman of my age than trying desperately to look 30." [Radar Online]

[Los Angeles, August 30. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• After shooting a fight scene for The Bounty, a source says Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler were "lovey-dovey" and "we saw him give her a little kiss." He was also throwing peanuts and popcorn in her mouth. [Radar Online]

• Jennifer Aniston feels "rejected and upset" because Bradley Cooper chose Renee Zellweger over her. "She wanted to turn her date with Cooper into something...she honestly feels screwed over," says a source. [Us]
• It's only been a few days since Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn announced that they're divorcing, but he's already been spotted partying with two different women. [TMZ]
• Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall are fighting on the set of SATC 2 because Kim's upset that she just broke up with her boyfriend Alan Wyse. "Sarah is too busy to comfort Kim or worry about her problems at the moment, and she basically told her as much," says a source. "Kim has been moping around, feeling sorry for herself and Sarah basically told her to snap out of it and buck up her ideas." [This Is London]
• Ryan Jenkins has been charged with the murder of Jasmine Flore by the Orange County D.A. [TMZ]
• The murder complaint against Ryan Jenkins says his bail recommendation is $10 million and a wanted poster warns that he's "armed and dangerous." [TMZ]
• The police got a "Ramey Warrent" for Ryan Jenkins that lets them bypass the D.A. and go directly to the judge, which is often used in cases when a suspect is on the run. [TMZ]
• Police have confirmed that Ryan Jenkins has entered Canada. It seems he took a boat from Washington State to Canada, then abandoned the boat and entered the country on foot. [People]
• Ryan Jenkins has business ties to Honduras and that may be his final destination. [TMZ]
• A criminal complaint had been filed against Ryan Jenkins for allegedly hitting Jasmine Flore "in the arm with his fist" in June. [TMZ]
• TMZ has an email Ryan Jenkins sent to Jasmine Fiore three weeks before she was murdered. He wrote: "Your [sic] my angel, despite what we've done to each other." [TMZ]
• Joe Jackson says Michael Jackson's burial has been pushed to August 31, two days after what would have been his 51st birthday because there are still things the family needs to get in order, that apparently they didn't get to in the past two months. [TMZ]
• Katherine Jackson asked a judge to let her show a confidential AEG Michael Jackson memorabilia deal to her financial advisors. AEG has threatened to pull out because the company is worried people are losing interest in MJ. [TMZ]
• Tito Jackson and Gladys Knight will do a U.K. tour called the "Midnight Train to Love," as a tribute to Michael Jackson. Tito will perform songs by MJ and the Jackson 5, as well as music from his upcoming album. [Reuters]
• Promoters for the global Michael Jackson tribute concert in Vienna say the web site crashed half an hour before ticket sales were set to star because a million people had logged on. 85,000 passes are available for the September 26 concert. [AP]
• David Copperfield said (through lawyers during an interview because the reporter started asking her, "Who's your favorite Australian..." The manager thought the reporter was going to ask about Australian designer Katie Perry, who Katy was in a legal battle with earlier this year, but the reporter says she just wanted to know who her favorite Australian artist is. [The Sun]
• Snoop Dogg had to poll the audience during Who Wants To Be A Millionaire because he didn't know the name of the character with an inkblot on his face from Watchmen. He said, "Man I seen that movie too and I fell asleep on it." [The Sun]
• Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Oz are suing a websites for products like "Colon Pro Cleanse, Power Colon Cleanse, Colon Max" that feature their images, names, and voices. Their lawyers say the companies are cashing in "on the false premise that [the products] have been tested or recommended by Miss Winfrey and/or Dr. Oz when they have not." [TMZ]
• Oprah Winfrey is planning a huge party for the 10th anniversary of O, The Oprah Magazine, in May. She may hold a concert at Radio City Music Hall or close down New York's West Side Highway for a charity event. [E!]
• At first the owner of the Centerville Pie Co. on Cape Cod denied that she sold Oprah Winfrey's entourage 20 pies, but Oprah herself called the Cape Cod Times to say, "the pie-gate escapade actually did happen." [AP]
• Paula Abdul was in negotiations to play Helen on Ugly Betty but was replaced with Kristen Johnston due to her list of demands, which possibly included a private jet. Johnston said, "I've always considered myself the poor man's Paula Abdul." [Entertainment Weekly]
• Richard Hatch was serving out the end of his sentence on house arrest but was returned to prison on Tuesday when he gave an unauthorized interview to NBC and now the ACLU is getting involved. A spokesman said, "It's appalling to think that he has been sent to jail merely for speaking to the media about his own court case." [AP]
• Bjork and her husband Matthew Barney are buying a co-op in Brooklyn. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Jordan Scott, who wrote an obscure vampire novel called The Nocturne is suing Stephenie Meyer because she says she stole ideas from her book for Breaking Dawn. [Reuters]
• Though it was reported that Lady Gaga would be toning things down when her tour stopped in Israel, at her last performance she faked an orgasm onstage and screamed, "Get your dicks out. Cause I heard there some pretty big cocks here in Israel!" [ONTD]
• Claire Danes is wearing fishnets and a leotard on the cover of BlackBook here: [BlackBook]
• "Life, that's what this record is about... It's so easy for me to do a boy-bashing pop song, but to sit down and write honestly about something that's really close to me, something I've been through, it's a totally different thing." — Avril Lavigne on her new record. [Rolling Stone]
• You can watch the new video for "Run This Town" featuring Jay-Z, Rihanna, and Kanye West here: [Just Jared]
• Jared Kushner asked for Donald Trump's permission to marry his daughter, Ivanka Trump. She says, "I thought it was adorable." [People]
• RHOA's Nene Leakes says despite co-star Kim Zolciak's accusations, she hasn't been cheating on her husband, Gregg Leakes, with NFL player Charles Grant. Nene says, "Charles is not anybody I'm seeing. I want to know where Kim gets the information from." [Star Magazine]
• Bill Cosby will be presented the Mark Twin Prize for American Humor at the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts by Jerry Seinfeld in October. [AP]
• Mickey Rourke says of filming The Wrestler, "I'm not 20 years old any more and when they throw your ass down, something is gonna hurt. My back would go out, my knee would go out. I had three MRIs in the first two months. If they would say they want to make Part 2, I would say, 'No, thank you.'" [AP]
• Lucy Clarkson, the model for Lara Croft says she had bulimia. "It makes me angry when I see very thin celebrities who are clearly not their natural body shape denying it. That sends out the wrong message. There are girls as young as five saying they think they are too fat," says Clarkson. "The industry wants you to look a certain way. For Lara Croft they wanted me to be quite muscular, so I was working out with a personal trainer. My curves were in demand from lingerie companies and men's magazines, but the fashion world pressured me to be skinny." [The Star]
• Kourtney Kardashian gives a run through of all the baby gifts she's already received at the link, but says she and boyfriend Scott Disick are also studying up on childbirth online. She says, "We watch these videos together on some random Web site I found called healthguru.com. They have videos which tell you what to expect, like the size of the baby at different stages, what the baby is doing inside. They're cool. Neither of us have read a book, but we're going to." [People]
• Apparently it's standard now to ask pregnant women if they'd pose nude. Kourtney Kardashian said: "I think so. I'd have to think about it." [Us]
• Heidi Klum says she and Seal won't be having any more kids after their fourth child is born. "We're outnumbered," say Klum. "Four is perfect. Three is a lot. But four? It's a lot of work. We're hands-on, and we feel like this is what we can handle." [USA Today]

I must say, I'm wondering at the significance of Anna Wintour's vaguely ethnic prints - although my instinct is to go with "none."


Sienna Miller and Anna Wintour are clinging together in half these shots - as two women victimized irrationally by the dislike of other women? Perhaps. The truth is, Sienna may be a victim of hype, but man, can the dame work an outfit. And I like to imagine this frock's a tribute to the best of John Hughes.


Look, we all get that Thom Browne's doing carefree subversive preppy here, but that doesn't mean it can't also look awful, absurd, vaguely disturbing.


Do you know what I love best about Georgina Chapman's dress? It's like "Franciscan Monk goes to Studio 54," and even one of these elements would have been a recipe for awesome.


It's so unfair. If most of us wore this, we'd be dismissed as "nerd whose Little House stage has lasted a weirdly long time." Whereas, Alexa Chung is protected by the auspices of high fashion!


I'm very eager to hear people's take on Renee Zellweger's choice, since she, flaming June orange and draped open panelling are all polarizing things. Note, please, that Renee has bravely bucked the gratuitously aggressive shoe trend, two days in a row, by sporting near-nudes.


I love how Cassie has become this Prince-inflected fashion star. Does this send me? No. Would I have done something a little more interesting than the usual jumpsuit-and-drag-heels? Probably. But she still manages to be essentially fab at all times.


Carolina Herrera is an ongoing argument for the efficacy of the uniform. I remember an essay she did in Vogue a few years ago extolling the virtues of the white blouse, which she claimed had "literally saved (her) life." The life-saving in question involved losing her luggage before a Chicago gala and finding a nice blouse at Banana Republic.


Anne V's shirt reads "Fashion's Night Out, September 10, 2009." So, you know, brace yourselves for that.


This Tyrolean smoking jacket situation was probably the inevitable evolution of Zac Posen's recent devotion to "shrunken dandy." He's trying to do for shrugging what Beau Brummel did for "moving your neck."


Okay, this is a lot going on. If idle hands are indeed the devil's playground, then Hilary Rhoda's incredibly busy outfit is in absolutely no danger of falling prey to the temptations of Old Nick.


See, the difference between Jessica White and the rest of the world is that when she chooses to break up her length with a lot of unflattering, harsh lines, she's still tall and willowy. The rest of us would be cut down to approximately microscopic size.


See, when, like Cynthia Rowley, her whole thing has always kinda been "girly downtown lunatic," one can only revel in her consistency.


Man, the amount of jewel-toned satin here is starting to give me that claustrophobic David's Bridal feeling - I'll save you the bad modern fiction image of the lines of dead gowns in their shrouds or whatever. And if you think I'm avoiding discussing Tory Burch's dress because I'm having a really hard time overcoming my instinctive, infantile aversion to its color (and the fact that she appears to have scalped Beaker to make her bag) well, you're right.


Vera Wang has officially discovered the most uncomfortable red-carpet pose in the world's history. It's called "Cat-on-a-Hot-Tin-Headlight."


Wow, the fun never stops at the Trump house!


Here's one thing I've wondered: has kilt-wearing taken off since Marc Jacobs started doing it exclusively? And I don't mean his entourage who obviously probably feel pressured to toss all their pants.

[Images via Getty]

• Surprise, surprise: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are a "complete nightmare" for the people working on the Miss Universe pageant in the Bahamas, where Heidi is supposed to perform on Sunday night. An insider says:

"Heidi has missed many rehearsals… Spencer tried to demand that the hotel pay him to lay by the pool." Dear Miss Universe People: You have no one to blame but yourselves. [Page Six]

• BREAKING: Courtney Love caught in bed with a turtle. [The Sun]
• Renée Zellweger dared to attend a movie premiere without Bradley Cooper; he took his parents and not Renée to Alyssa Milano's wedding. Scandalous. [Page Six]
• Jon Gosselin visited kids with cancer at an NYC hospital on Tuesday, possibly in an attempt to rehabilitate his image? [Us]
• Authorities now suspect that reality show "star" Ryan Alexander Jenkins — suspected of killing his wife, Jasmine Fiore — crossed over the Canadian border on foot after driving his SUV to Blaine, Washington. [TMZ]
• Save the date: September 14. Whitney Houston will give her first full-length interview in almost seven years to… Oprah. Of course. As you may recall, in 2002, Whitney sat down with Diane Sawyer, and memorably declared: "Crack is cheap. I make too much money to ever smoke crack." [Mirror, NY Daily News]
• Venus and Serena Williams are in talks to become part owners in the Miami Dolphins. [AP]
• Magician David Copperfield has been sued for sexual assault. The woman is a 22-year-old fashion model and alleges that the incident happened when she was a guest on his private island in the Bahamas in 2007. She says he attacked and sexually assaulted her, threatening to kill her if she didn't go along. [TMZ]
• Jay Leno's new show will spotlight new young comedians. "I hope people become famous and get offered shows." But he won't just have "a bunch of white guys doing standup" — he plans to have a "diverse group," including women, African-Americans and other minorities. [AP]
• Will Paula Abdul return to American Idol? Focus groups may make that decision. "Fox loves focus groups," an insider says. "If Paula consistently scores far higher than any other person in her chair, they will feel compelled to make her an offer she can't refuse and make this deal happen." Another source says: "There will be four judges at American Idol come January. And that fourth judge will be Paula Abdul." [MSNBC]
• Paula Abdul's manager says that there have been "no discussions whatsoever about Idol." [LA Times]
• Amy Winehouse went out to dinner and then for drinks and the paparazzi took snaps of her a little tipsy on her way home and zoomed in on her nose and claim there's a "mystery substance" up her nose but honestly you can't see a damn thing. [Daily Mail]
• "Got Line Flu Amy?" [The Sun]
• "Oprah Winfrey and her favorite physician, "Dr. Oz," filed suit yesterday to shut down more than 500 Web sites that falsely claim the pair endorses the sites' diet pills and miracle cures." [NY Post]
• Russell Brand wears a top hat, dances in the streets and sings the lyrics "sexual rewards" in this new MTV VMA promo. [ONTD]
• Expect to see heavy cross-promotion between Project Runway and Harvey Weinstein-produced flick Nine. [Page Six]
• Pauly Shore pulled a Christian Bale and had an on-set meltdown while filming Brand Dead. Seems fake, but you be the judge. [TMZ, TMZ]
• A source says Jennifer Hudson thinks of her newborn child as a gift from beyond after her family was murdered: "She wasn't trying to get pregnant… She believes her mother played a part in sending this gift from God. She tells everyone her mother sent this baby to pull her through this." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Eva Longoria will star in a Mexican film about kidnapping, which means she will be in a Spanish-speaking role for the first time. [AP]
• Figure skater Brian Boitano is now a TV chef, with his Food Network show, What Would Brian Boitano Make? premiering Sunday. Turns out the Oylmpic gold medalist is a foodie, and the Food Network's VP of programming says his passion and command of cooking is "one of the biggest, happiest surprises I've gotten in my career." [LA Times]
• As mentioned yesterday, Leona Lewis tracks have been leaked onto the Internet. One was a song produced by Justin Timberlake. A police investigation is ongoing. [Daily Mail]
• Pete Doherty is planning on getting the Libertines back together, even if Carl "Biggles" Barat doesn't want to join. "If Biggles doesn't want to do it or gets cold feet or he thinks I'm still a crackhead, what am I going to do? Maybe I could reform the Libertines without him, like he did without me. I wouldn't really want to, but you've got to pay the bills. I'll put an advert in the NME: 'Carlos lookalike required.'" [Independent]
• District 9 sequel? Maybe. It's already being referred to as District 10. [NY Daily News]
• Nora Jones is about to release her first album in three years; this column claims she has a new look and a new sound. (Cute hair!) [USA Today]
• Phil Spector has been writing letters from prison: He fears for his safety, enjoys visits from his wife and would like to be moved to "a better prison." [USA Today]
• "I loved New York, even back then (1980s graffiti-scarred, pre-Giuliani New York). It was such an overwhelming animal. I loved the energy and attitude of the place. It's great for being productive and creative." —Eric Bana, who's on the cover of Men's Health. [Just Jared]
• "It's a lot of material to fill. It is a lot of jokes. This is lot more work. A lot more work. You're doing probably three shows worth of comedy every night. On The Tonight Show we had maybe two talking guests and a band. That's not a lot of work for me. But this will be a lot more work." — Jay Leno on his new show. [Reuters]
• "I remember sensing that my mother was holding something back from me. I used to think I had done something wrong because she could be so distant. I knew there was something going on that I didn't know about and because I was a child I thought it was my fault. It took me years to work out that she had actually been protecting me from racism… There were comments and my mother kept all that away from us and to do that she had be a barrier between us and them." — Thandie Newton, who says she and her brother were the only mixed-race kids in their area when growing up. [Daily Express]
• "Before I played Ari Gold, I was in probably 40 movies and playing a lot of very soft-spoken characters, also-rans, best friends and whatnot. That was all easily forgotten as soon as I put Ari's power suit on." — Jeremy Piven. [Time]
• "[The culture here] isn't based on anything other than ‘Who got a boob job?' That's what I feel L.A. is about. A lot of people here want to be everyone but themselves." — Mila Kunis. [Just Jared]
• "Oh my God! I was on the set of Two and a Half Men when I heard. I had all these texts, and at first I thought it was a hoax. What struck me was I hadn't seen him in years, and when I think about it, I really owe an enormous amount of my career to him. And it made me sad because it made me realize that you've really got to let people know it when you're grateful to them. They won't always be here and I regret that I didn't do that. But I have very fond memories. He was a lovely guy and knew exactly what he wanted. He'll be greatly missed." — Jon Cryer on the death of John Hughes. [Reuters]
• "I was talking to my friend about [whether monogamy] is feasible, is it realistic? I resolved that there isn't really a better model. We just can't shake monogamy. It definitely demands a kind of rigor and discipline and selflessness. But it's also fun." — Claire Danes, to BlackBook. [Page Six]
• "I like clever folks. I like people who are concerned with [what] the path they leave behind them looks like… Empathy, humor, wit, self reliance and honesty. [Being attractive] doesn't hurt." —Renée Zellweger, on what she looks for in a man. [People]

• Michael Lohan says Jon Gosselin is trying to get out of his TLC contract to appear on his new show Divorced Dads Club and hinted that a few famous former sports stars/single dads may be joining them.

• Lohan says of Jon's relationship with TLC, "There's bad blood there. If your show was making the network $130 something million and they paid you the pittance they paid you and restricted you from doing so many different things, how would you feel?" adding that the producers of Divorced Dads Club are, "reaching out to Dennis Rodman. I know Jose Canseco has already said yes, he wants to be part of the show that bad. There are even some divorced celebrities who are not dads who want to do the show." [Radar Online]
• In Croatia Jay-Z and Beyonce were having dinner by the ocean when their body guard started fighting with a paparazzo. The photographer threw his tripod at the body guard, so he threw it in the ocean. There's video: [TMZ]
• Dr. Conrad Murray will be arrested for the death of Michael Jackson and charged with manslaughter in the next two weeks according to a law enforcement source. MJ's dermatologist Dr. Arnold Klein will also be arrested and charged with medical malpractice. [Fox News]
• The doctor who performed the in vitro fertilization procedure in Celine Dion that resulted in her second pregnancy says he implanted an embryo that had been kept frozen in liquid nitrogen for the past eight years. The embryo was frozen while she was going through IVF to conceive her first child René-Charles in 2001. [People]
• A friend of Samantha Burke says she met Jude Law in a New York club. "He was sick, so she kept going to his hotel over the course of a week to take care of him." But Jude wasn't all that grateful. "Jude didn't even remember her. She hasn't seen him since New York. They've only been in contact through their lawyers," says the friend, who added that she thinks Samantha's crazy to keep the baby and that she may be looking for money because "her family doesn't have any money." [E!]
• A "family friend" says Chaz Bono is planning to conceive a child with his fiance Jennifer Elia after his gender reassignment surgery is complete and Cher has volunteered to help them find a sperm donor. "Cher doesn't care if the baby is a boy or girl, but she's insisting on a donor with intelligence, creativity and good looks," says the source. [National Enquirer]
• Sheryl Crow sold her music catalogue to fund affiliated with an Australian bank. She'll get a smaller cut of the royalties, but the group will promote her copyrighted material to movie houses and advertisers. [WSJ]
• A source says Jason Trawick hasn't broken up with Britney Spears. "Things are fine – they still maintain a great working relationship and he's in her life as a great friend as he's always been," said the source, "Things are casual … Britney really listens to what he has to say. He's been with her a long time, he gets along with the family. He has her best interests at heart, and he cares about her." [People]
• The LAPD has issued a statement saying someone gave them the nude Eric Dane/Rebecca Gayheart tape that "could link celebrities engaging in illegal activity... The LAPD was in the process of reviewing the voluminous files contained on the DVD when the story was leaked to the media. No determination has been made as to whether or not the DVD contained any information that could be used for a criminal investigation. Some of the information contained on the DVD included archived articles and photographs of porn stars and formally convicted madams, which could readily be found over the Internet." [Extra]
• Brad Pitt's former Thelma & Louise co-star Michael Madsen said, "Everybody's had enough of Brad Pitt. I've seen enough of him for a lifetime." It's possible he's mad at Brad for not getting him a role in The Assasination of Jesse James. [TMZ]
• Ugh, "internet personality" Justin Ross Lee, who previously shared pictures of Ashley Olsen he took on a flight sold video of Brad Pitt, who happened to wind up on another flight with him. [Star]
• Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper "get along really well and just kinda click," said a source, "Bradley likes the speed of everything. He likes that Reneé is low-key." [People]
• Renee Zellweger wore Carolina Herrera to the premiere of her movie My One And Only but Mark Randall, who plays her son, wore jeans with ripped knees and five year old Converse sneakers. "I decided to dress up a little tonight," he said. [N.Y. Observer]
• A group of Bulgarian Orthodox priests have asked Madonna to reschedule a concert scheduled for August 29 because it falls on St. John the Baptist day, when followers are supposed to refrain from "secular pleasures and merrymaking". [UPI]
• "I don't have a girlfriend," says Robert Pattinson, "I don't know why... You always think you're going to get more girls after you've made a movie and it never happens. You sit there and you're like, 'I'm a big movie star and I want to go out with some models,' but I don't know why that doesn't happen." [People]
• A friend says that Jasmine Flore, whose body was found in a suitcase and thrown in a dumpster over the weekend, had told her husband Ryan Alexander Jenkins of Megan Wants A Millionaire, that their relationship was over and was supposed to go to Las Vegas to reunite with an ex on the day her body was found. [TMZ]
• The ex, Robert Hasman, says he received a text from Jasmine Flore saying she was coming to see him, then another that said "suck it." Police suspect Ryan Jenkins may have seen the first message on his wife's phone and written the second. Jenkins reported Flore missing on Saturday night and is now MIA. [TMZ]
• Ryan Jenkins has a criminal record for assaulting a girlfriend in 2005. He was ordered to get treatment for sex addiction and domestic violence and serve 15 months probation. [TMZ]
• American Idol producers want Faith Hill to be a celebrity judge next season. [Radar Online]
• When Leighton Meester came to the studio to perform the vocals on Cobra Starship's "Good Girls Go Bad," "She like, turned the lights down low in the studio and lit a few candles to set the mood," says bassist Alex Suarez. "I've never seen candles in the studio before... So she's like, 'You make me want to lose control,' alone in the dark surrounded by vanilla and lavender, clenching her fist, just really feeling it." [People]
• Julianne Moore is selling her New York townhouse for $12 million and you can check out shots of her living room, kitchen, and bathroom here: [Fashion Week Daily]
• Jason Schwartzman married clothing designer Brady Cunningham on July 11 in the San Fernando Valley. "It was a very small ceremony with many family members and close friends," said his rep. [People]
• If you can't wait to hear the song Heidi Montag will perform at the Miss Universe pageant later this month, you can check it out at the link. Heidi says, "I am so excited to perform ... at Miss Universe for my first ever live performance... This is such a miracle in life and I give thanks to God everyday for this once in a lifetime opportunity." [People]
• Three women displaced by Hurricane Katrina have been charged with collecting rental assistance from FEMA after Oprah Winfrey helped them buy new homes through her Angel Network. [Reuters]
• George Lopez's family members are mad at him because he buried his grandma without telling them. "George buried our grandma and didn't tell any of us about it," said his sister Linda Sierra. "He didn't let any of us know — George's sisters, nephews and nieces are all heartbroken." [Radar Online]
• Philadelphia native Bill Cosby appeared at a news conference today with Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell to criticize Senate Republicans' plan to provide less money for schools than the Democratic governor has proposed. [AP]
• Possible Mad Men spoiler: Orestes Arcuni, who played the bell hop on Monday's episode, says, "The kissing and sex stuff is so technical that it only resembles something romantic when spliced and edited together. It took about four hours and about ten different camera set ups to shoot. The actors are not having a romantic experience, that's hopefully the result of good editing, a good story, and ultimately what the audience brings along with them to the viewing experience." [Gothamist]
• Katey Sagal, who is starring in the FX drama Sons of Anarchy says of there being more roles for actresses "of a certain age," "I don't know why it's changed, but I'm really grateful it has. Maybe it has to do with the fact that we're all living longer and suddenly it's okay to get older. Maybe there's a broader audience for these characters. The stories you can tell about older women are deeper. Plus, cable has opened up enormous possibilities. In feature films, you're still lucky if you're not the girlfriend or the wife. But I just read yesterday that Dianne Keaton is going to be on television now, she's doing a series with HBO, so TV is where our stories are being told." [CNN]

Ok!
"How I Lost 41 Lbs Without Surgery!"
As you may know — because The View has been covering it extensively — Sherri Shepherd was on a diet and fitness plan. The only way that this story is different from the usual celebrity diet story is there's a picture with tuna on a salad as a lunch suggestion, instead of chicken. Also, Sherri doesn't want to get a breast reduction, because those are the boobs God gave her. Moving on: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart cuddled at a Kings Of Leon concert and — "while the band played 'Sex On Fire' — sucked serious face." Lindsay Lohan was being considered for a movie version of the novel Undiscovered Gyrl, but the author says that LL's fame and baggage would work against her. The book is about a teen blogging about her sexual coming-of-age, and Miley Cyrus is interested, but the author thinks Miley is too wholesome. Lastly: "Jen Tells Renée: You Can Have Bradley." Jennifer Aniston and Bradley Cooper were both seeing other people when they went on their date; Jen is bored the whole thing and is fine with Bradley dating Renée. "She's less interested in Renée than in why she'd choose a guy who'd be interested in someone like Renée. She's disappointed in herself more than anything…"
Grade: F (mystery meat with freezer burn)

Star
"Celebs Who Beat Cellulite!" BREAKING: Cellulite happens. And it's fun for some mags to ignore the big picture and just pick apart a woman's anatomy! Still our LEAST favorite kind of cover story, and we've bared our dimpled asses for the world to see! Uma Thurman had "lymphatic drainage massage." Britney Spears ate turkey burgers and worked out. Jennifer Love Hewitt started working out four to five times a week. Jennifer Lopez and Victoria Beckham increased their workout frequencies; Amanda Bynes no longer eats pizza at midnight. And so forth. Then there is the section called "Cellu-Losers," with the subhead "Don't Give Up, Girls!" where the magazine had to try really really hard to find cellulite on Tara Reid, Kristin Cavallari and Annalynne McCord. There are no men in this eight-page extravaganza, by the by. Moving on: Jamie-Lynn Spears and Gwyneth Paltrow were both spotted not wearing marriage/engagement rings. Report them to the relationship cops! Lookee: High school yearbook photos (Fig. 1). Blind item! "Which comedian's not-so-funny sexual comments caused his costar to walk off the set of their upcoming film? The crew found it hysterical, but the target had to be begged to come back." Justin Ross Lee, the "Facebook celebrity" who photographed Ashley Olsen while she was on a plane, recently shared a five-hour flight from LA to NYC with Brad Pitt, and snapped pix of the actor sleeping and eating, then sold them to Star. Kourtney Kardashian's family wants her to dump baby daddy Scott Disick, who has cheated on her in the past. They broke off their engagement because he wouldn't stop flirting with other women. KK thinks the pregnancy is great for raising her profile and wants to open a children's clothing store in L.A. and design a maternity line. Re: Kate Gosselin and the cops: Apparently Cara And Mady saw Jon Gosselin getting touchy-feely with the babysitter, Stephanie Santoro, and freaked out and called their mom. A source says that Stephanie is the one who called the cops. The mag includes an interview with Stephanie's former boyfriend, who says she has a thing for married men and got pregnant by a guy she was working for. Lastly: An inspired Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart headline: "Total Eclipse Of The Heart."
Grade: D- (frozen peas)

In Touch:
"The Fight To End All Fights."
Trouble in paradise for Tom and Katie! Tom Cruise went to visit Katie Holmes while she was filming in Australia. First they argued because he stopped to greet fans on his way to see her; she flipped out and he stormed off the set. The next fight was at their hotel, where Tom was watching Suri and she wanted to watch cartoons instead of going for a walk with him. He thinks Katie is spoiling Suri because she works long hours and by the time she comes home, she's tired and just lets Suri do whatever she wants. Dr. Gilda Carle, who does not treat Tom or Katie, says: Suri is learning that relationships between men and women involve squabbling. And that Katie was "lost in lust" during the courtship, but now they're both surprised/disappointed by one another's behavior. And! Tom and Katie need therapy. Moving on: Britney is "once again displaying dangerous mood swings" since she had a "crazed" 15-minute shopping spree where her eyes were "glassy." Why is Brad Pitt drinking so much? He was smashed at the premiere of The Time Traveler's Wife, which he produced. Angelina refused to go to the premiere because Brad bought it as a vehicle for himself and then-wife Jennifer Aniston, and Jen called to wish him luck before the premiere, which made Angie "hit the roof." An insider says Brad is having a "sort of mid life crisis" since he joked recently, "I'm just a drunk." Next: "Have These Stars Had Boob Jobs?" is a closer look at the chests of Jennifer Aniston, Anna Faris, Drew Barrymore, Brooke Hogan, Leona Lewis, Haylie Duff and Ciara.
Grade: D (half-melted Creamsicles)

Us
"Why He Chose Renée"
So. Bradley Cooper and Renée Zellweger: "It's on," says a source. This article was written by someone on Team Renée, because it is very derogatory towards Jennifer Aniston. A source says Jen feels "rejected and upset" and "screwed over" and "doesn't see what Renée has that she doesn't." But! Another source points out that guys like Renée because she is "so no-drama," "she just does her thing, has her life, and is cool." Also: "She's really happy, she doesn't need anyone to feel complete. She isn't absorbed by Hollywood." Whereas Jennifer "won't date a normal guy. She goes after the hottest thing of the moment - -what she knows will get her the most time in the spotlight." And! Bradley Cooper once said, when it comes to a woman: "I'd say authenticity is the only prerequisite." Apparently Jennifer Aniston is "not natural" and everything she does "is an act." Renée is "super fun" and is always "laughing and optimistic about life." And! "People want to be with her because she makes them happy." Moving along: Michelle Trachtenberg and Jason Segel: Spotted "all over each other." Kate Gosselin was at a hotel with her bodyguard and they signed in as "The Michaels." So the speculation is that there's something going on there and she's been hiding it. Also, Jon thinks she's less than truthful about finances.
Grade: D+ (Fla-Vor-Ice)

Life & Style
"He's A Dirtbag." In an interview, Kate Major says that she and Jon Gosselin had three sexual encounters. "He was a great kisser, " she says. "It was amazing…" At some point they kissed in a car and Jon asked her what she thought it would be like if they slept together. She says: "We kissed, we hugged, we held hands, he'd hold me when we were asleep. I have nothing bad to say about him intimacy-wise. But I will say he likes to play." Then on July 29 he dumped her and said he was going to stay with Hailey Glassman. Kate says: "He totally screwed me over and acted like a dirtbag." And! "Looking back now it was all pretty much sexual and that's all he had in mind." YOU THINK? The mag has a headline: "He Treats Women Like Servants — And Takes Them For Fast Food." That's because Kate Major had to pick up his dry cleaning and like McDonald's for breakfast. KM says she resigned from her job at Star because he told her he'd hire her as a personal assistant. He said he was going to Massachusetts to break up with Hailey; but then sent KM a message that said "Do not contact me again." Next: Interested in the coverline "Shiloh Saved A Village Of Kids!" ? You may be disappointed to learn that she didn't do it alone: When the little Jolie-Pitt was born, Angie and Brad sold the pictures for $4 million. Part of that money went towards 72 bicycles for two schools in Namibia. It used to take the students 2 hours to get to school, and they'd get home after dark, etc. Now, with bikes, everything is much better, and one of the kids says: "I think Angelina Jolie must be a saint. She must be a holy person." The Robert Pattinson/Kristen Stewart "make out" pictures are so vague that they require arrows (Fig. 2). Lastly: "Do Stars Eat Less Than We Do?" features Tori Spelling. She has cereal for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch, and lamb chops for dinner, and snacks on avocados. They estimate she eats about 2,043 calories a day, and is healthy.
Grade: C (broken Eskimo Pie)

Fig. 1

Fig. 2