Does Your Partner Know How Many People You’ve Slept With? No? Good.

It comes up eventually in every long-ish dating scenario: A back-and-forth exchange of not just bodily fluids, but sexual histories—maybe by vague reference to exes or past singlehood, maybe by a specific tally. But research shows most people don’t know want to your actual number, and amen to that. » 5/19/15 12:10pm 5/19/15 12:10pm

'Can't Wait to Caress Your Clot': More of the Grimmest Sexts Ever Sent

Life is full of regrets. And for so many of us, those regrets live inside our phones, in the form of awful, terrible, no good sext attempts we can never, ever take back. In this world, each of us is doomed at some point to be the Jonathan Franzen of our own private erotic novel, churning out the most genital-withering… » 5/18/15 4:40pm 5/18/15 4:40pm

Why Hitting on a Freshly Rejected Woman Doesn't Work

Have you ever been rejected by a god among men, so you just surveyed the scene and grabbed the next average dude in sight? No? Me either. Luckily, almighty science has finally gotten around to debunking this popular “rebound” wet dream of regular dudes everywhere that I’m pretty sure was never real in the first place,… » 5/16/15 4:00pm 5/16/15 4:00pm

You Fell in Love '36 Questions' Style: Now What?

Back in January, you probably came across that Modern Love essay asking whether you could fall in love with a stranger by answering a series of 36 increasingly intimate questions together. The answer, posited the column, was yes. But the more important question is probably: what next? What happens after your essay… » 5/06/15 11:50am 5/06/15 11:50am

How To Become Comfortable Talking About Sex When You Never Have Before

Sex is one of the most difficult topics to talk about openly, and there are plenty of people out there who have never had a single honest conversation with a partner about their intimate relationship. If you’re a total sexual communication beginner, here are some straightforward steps to help you get started. » 5/06/15 10:24am 5/06/15 10:24am

What Does It Mean to Be Able to Defend Your Relationship?

Who among us has never had doubts about a relationship? Who among us has not also wrestled with which doubts to take seriously, and which to sideline? What if someone told you that, despite your doubts, a relationship ought to be sturdily defensible—that you ought to be able to defend it in a court of law?
» 5/03/15 12:00pm 5/03/15 12:00pm

How to Have a Healthy Relationship With Porn

Porn has existed since man first discovered how to draw naked people on cave walls, and we’ve debated whether or not it’s healthy for just about as long. I doubt we’re ever going to have a clear consensus on the effects of porn usage, but there are still some simple guidelines you can follow if you’d like to improve… » 4/23/15 1:25pm 4/23/15 1:25pm

Here's What It Looks Like When You Chronicle Every Detail of an Affair

An illicit love affair almost always goes un-chronicled. It’s in the inherent nature of the thing: an affair is over, after all, as soon as you leave too many traces. And so a love affair’s importance and impact often live entirely in memory. If we document it, the affair lives in a few pictures, letters—maybe today,… » 4/03/15 5:00pm 4/03/15 5:00pm

How To Prevent Your Pet From Ruining Your Sex Life

Between killing spontaneity, playing favorites, and and ruining the mood with room-clearing farts, pets can be a real boner-killer. We all know that adopting a pet comes with a lot of responsibility, but few people consider the effects that a furry friend can have on one's sex life. Here's how to deal with some of the… » 4/01/15 3:30pm 4/01/15 3:30pm

How to Talk To Your New Girlfriend About Your Ex

First and foremost, congratulations on the decision to put your fuck parts together with another person's fuck parts in a more meaningful way than you were putting fuck parts together with others during the abysmal slog through Tinder you've been on since your break-up. Things are probably great: you two have stopped… » 3/27/15 3:17pm 3/27/15 3:17pm

Yes, You Need Therapy to Get Over Your Ex (And for Everything Else)

One of the hardest things to learn about love is the fact that your narrative about a relationship is probably not "The Narrative." The official story of any two people requires two points of view, and your version is only one: The story in your head of what happened when you met someone else and fell in… » 3/12/15 4:45pm 3/12/15 4:45pm

What's Your Sexual Orientation: Promiscuous or Monogamous?

For a long time, the construction of gendered sexual behavior went like this: Men aren't hardwired for monogamy, but women, being more invested in emotional bonds and offspring resources, are. But it's becoming increasingly clear that women aren't exactly thrilled with the same old every night either. Research shows… » 2/19/15 12:15pm 2/19/15 12:15pm