Wedding Drama Is Rarely About the Wedding 

Weddings are slow cookers full of potential agitation, wherein family, friends, finances, and fiancés all come together during months of planning and mingle together to create a terrible-tasting mess. Nine times out of ten, this nonsense actually isn’t about the wedding itself. In fact, the more complicated the fuss,… »9/10/15 4:40pm9/10/15 4:40pm

Silent Bridal Showers Are Real, and They're Shameless

Everyone knows that the point of a shower (wedding or baby) is to get presents. Most people, however, at least pretend to believe the polite fiction that showers are a time to get together and celebrate, because it’s inappropriate to just go after people for money without even pretending you want to see them. Not… »6/11/15 12:50pm6/11/15 12:50pm

Prom Dress Registry Will Stop That Bitch Chloe from Copying Your Look

Um, not to gossip because I haaaaaaate gossiping, but as your friend, there’s something I need to tell you: That dumb bitch Chloe is planning on wearing the same dress as you to prom. I know! She copies you all the time! It’s like when you dropped calc and then she dropped calc. Or when you said Panda Express was your… »4/02/15 2:45pm4/02/15 2:45pm

Beware the Best Buy Wedding Registry, Lest You Look Like an Asshole

Wedding registries are a funny thing, an anachronism of the engagement and marriage process of yore. They're a throwback to the days when couples married younger and really were just starting out. Things are much different now, but registries are still a big business. Best Buy wants a piece of that action, so they've… »2/16/15 2:30pm2/16/15 2:30pm

Newlyweds Don't Want Your Stupid Presents. They Want Cold, Hard Cash.

No matter that people are marrying later than ever, often after having lived together for a number of years, thus having acquired all the five-speed blenders they could ever need: In the world of wedding etiquette, the only thing worse than being a bride- or groomzilla is having the low-class temerity to ask for $$… »7/30/13 4:45pm7/30/13 4:45pm