Silent Bridal Showers Are Real, and They're Shameless

Everyone knows that the point of a shower (wedding or baby) is to get presents. Most people, however, at least pretend to believe the polite fiction that showers are a time to get together and celebrate, because it’s inappropriate to just go after people for money without even pretending you want to see them. Not… » 6/11/15 12:50pm 6/11/15 12:50pm

The Worst Wedding Gifts, Ranked

Weddings are about two things: Having hella fun with your friends and then charging them for the privilege of attending. But because every gift you receive is a mandatory thank you note to write, even the best gifts can be pain. So what happens when you get an awful gift? Like a handmade puppet or a fertility idol? Do… » 4/30/15 4:50pm 4/30/15 4:50pm

Prom Dress Registry Will Stop That Bitch Chloe from Copying Your Look

Um, not to gossip because I haaaaaaate gossiping, but as your friend, there’s something I need to tell you: That dumb bitch Chloe is planning on wearing the same dress as you to prom. I know! She copies you all the time! It’s like when you dropped calc and then she dropped calc. Or when you said Panda Express was your… » 4/02/15 2:45pm 4/02/15 2:45pm

Beware the Best Buy Wedding Registry, Lest You Look Like an Asshole

Wedding registries are a funny thing, an anachronism of the engagement and marriage process of yore. They're a throwback to the days when couples married younger and really were just starting out. Things are much different now, but registries are still a big business. Best Buy wants a piece of that action, so they've… » 2/16/15 2:30pm 2/16/15 2:30pm

Newlyweds Don't Want Your Stupid Presents. They Want Cold, Hard Cash.

No matter that people are marrying later than ever, often after having lived together for a number of years, thus having acquired all the five-speed blenders they could ever need: In the world of wedding etiquette, the only thing worse than being a bride- or groomzilla is having the low-class temerity to ask for $$… » 7/30/13 4:45pm 7/30/13 4:45pm