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New York, 2:08 AM
Wed Nov 11
68 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #redstatesblueballs more →

    Why Are Some States Keeping Real Americans Away From Sex Toys?
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Mary Marsala with Fries Mary Marsala with Fries
    11/03/08

    In reply to Why Are Some States Keeping Real Americans Away From Sex Toys?
    Oh. Lovely.


    Condoms and Viagra: Fine.


    Vibrators and Plan B? EVILEVILEVILEEEEEEEVVVIIIILLL.


    That's it. I'm starting a pharmacy called "Separate but Equalized" where not only will there be vibrators and morning-after pills, but also 90% of the makeup will be designed to fix the flaws in how men look, and all the magazine covers will have scantily-clad guys on them and 50 new tips for driving your wife wild in bed.


    Breastfeeding will be allowed, but if you adjust your genitals on store property we'll taze your ass. ;)

     Reply
    Mary Marsala with Fries was starred Mary Marsala with Fries was unstarred
    Image of lalaland13 lalaland13
    11/01/08

    In reply to Why Are Some States Keeping Real Americans Away From Sex Toys?
    I go online. There are a few adult shops around here, but I don't know if it's the Southern Protestant guilt or what, but they seem sleazy and scummy and have been busted for doing stuff like arranging gay sex or somesuch. Anyway, I prefer the clean and well-lit mypleasure.com.


    This law, of course, is bullshit. I wish people didn't believe that the penis-vagina connection is so sacred it must not be sullied with a battery-operated device. I know liberal whores (ok, a bit of hyperbole there) who seem to think that.

     Reply
    lalaland13 was starred lalaland13 was unstarred
    Image of Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny. Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny.
    10/31/08

    In reply to Why Are Some States Keeping Real Americans Away From Sex Toys?
    Yeah but can I still buy "back massagers" in those states? Cause you can't keep vivelafat away from her sex TOYZZZZ!
     Reply
    Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny. was starred Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny. was unstarred
    Image of JinxyMcDeath JinxyMcDeath
    10/31/08

    In reply to Why Are Some States Keeping Real Americans Away From Sex Toys?
    There is no doubt in my mind that my roommate would be a lot more pleasant if she bought a vibrator. I know I am.
     Reply
    JinxyMcDeath was starred JinxyMcDeath was unstarred
    Image of NOLA girl NOLA girl
    10/31/08

    In reply to Why Are Some States Keeping Real Americans Away From Sex Toys?
    WTF, Trojan? Take a stroll down Bourbon street. You can sell ANYTHING in Louisiana.
     Reply
    NOLA girl was starred NOLA girl was unstarred
    Image of morninggloria morninggloria
    10/31/08

    In reply to Why Are Some States Keeping Real Americans Away From Sex Toys?
    Women need to be protected against pleasuring themselves without the help of a cock. And men, too, for that matter. Pleasure-causing is a cocks only zone.
     Reply
    morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred
    Image of info*ninja info*ninja
    10/31/08

    @morninggloria: Exactly; Freud proved it!
     Reply
    info*ninja was starred info*ninja was unstarred
    Image of Kali Mama Kali Mama
    10/31/08

    @morninggloria: Weren't there also no-anal no-oral sodomy laws on the book?
     Reply
    Kali Mama was starred Kali Mama was unstarred
    Image of morninggloria morninggloria
    10/31/08

    @Kali Mama: Not sure; I'm no expert on sodomy laws. I just kind of do, and ask questions later.
     Reply
    morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred
    Image of Mary Marsala with Fries Mary Marsala with Fries
    11/03/08

    @morninggloria: ...And the cocks are, by and large, doing a terrible job of it!
     Reply
    Mary Marsala with Fries was starred Mary Marsala with Fries was unstarred
    Image of Hamsterpants Hamsterpants
    10/31/08

    In reply to Why Are Some States Keeping Real Americans Away From Sex Toys?
    Y'all are trying to get me fired today, huh? Between the naked lady and nipple clamp guy and the sex toy post messing with me big time. I thought it was Halloween, not All-Sex Friday (that's usually the second Friday after Lent).
     Reply
    Hamsterpants was starred Hamsterpants was unstarred
    Image of Gitchy Gitchy Ya Ya Here Gitchy Gitchy Ya Ya Here
    10/31/08

    @Hamsterpants: That naked lady was killing me, too. I had to ignore Jez for hours because she was in the top stories feed. Sad.
     Reply
    Gitchy Gitchy Ya Ya Here was starred Gitchy Gitchy Ya Ya Here was unstarred
    Image of Jamie Sommers Jamie Sommers
    10/31/08

    @Hamsterpants: Every Friday should be All-Sex Friday.
     Reply
    Jamie Sommers was starred Jamie Sommers was unstarred
    Image of UnSeelie...I am baaack! UnSeelie...I am baaack!
    10/31/08

    In reply to Why Are Some States Keeping Real Americans Away From Sex Toys?
    So i can buy a vibrator at wallgreens... reeeeeeaaaaaally? I will be back later... MMMmmmm mmm mmmm m mmmuch la la la ttttterrrRRRRRR AAAAAH.
     Reply
    UnSeelie...I am baaack! was starred UnSeelie...I am baaack! was unstarred
    Image of L-dizzle L-dizzle
    10/31/08

    @UnSeelie...Holly (beeeep) 4 to E-Day: So hitting up CVS on the way home from work! Yay Friday!
     Reply
    L-dizzle was starred L-dizzle was unstarred
    Image of UnSeelie...I am baaack! UnSeelie...I am baaack!
    10/31/08

    @L-dizzle: remember to check for batteries.
     Reply
    UnSeelie...I am baaack! was starred UnSeelie...I am baaack! was unstarred
    Image of sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit) sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit)
    10/31/08

    In reply to Why Are Some States Keeping Real Americans Away From Sex Toys?
    My highly unscientific (read: nonexistent) research has shown that Republicans like vibrating elephants. Those trunks can do amaaaaazing things. Democrats prefer donkey-shaped anal plugs -- an ass for your ass!
     Reply
    sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit) was starred sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit) was unstarred
    Image of ArmansCopyOfSwank ArmansCopyOfSwank
    10/31/08

    In reply to Why Are Some States Keeping Real Americans Away From Sex Toys?
    If you outlaw sex toys, only outlaws will have sex toys.
     Reply
    ArmansCopyOfSwank was starred ArmansCopyOfSwank was unstarred
    Image of braak braak
    10/31/08

    @ArmansCopyOfSwank: Hear, hear!
     Reply
    braak was starred braak was unstarred
    Image of JessicaLovejoy: Laughing, riding, cornholing! JessicaLovejoy: Laughing, riding, cornholing!
    10/31/08

    @ArmansCopyOfSwank: I'm a cowgirl, on latex toys I ride.....
     Reply
    JessicaLovejoy: Laughing, riding, cornholing! was starred JessicaLovejoy: Laughing, riding, cornholing! was unstarred
    Image of ArmansCopyOfSwank ArmansCopyOfSwank
    10/31/08

    @JessicaLovejoy wants a Deldeaux in Butts!: You can have my cockring when you pry it from my cold, dea--... never mind.
     Reply
    ArmansCopyOfSwank was starred ArmansCopyOfSwank was unstarred
    Image of Mkp-hearts-NYC Mkp-hearts-NYC
    10/31/08

    @ArmansCopyOfSwank: HA. <-- is what I just did at my desk.
     Reply
    Mkp-hearts-NYC was starred Mkp-hearts-NYC was unstarred
    Image of pantsless economist...access RESTORED pantsless economist...access RESTORED
    10/31/08

    In reply to Why Are Some States Keeping Real Americans Away From Sex Toys?
    well, if the state governments don't think of the children then who will? Certainly not those smutty pharmacies and grocery stores!
     Reply
    pantsless economist...access RESTORED was starred pantsless economist...access RESTORED was unstarred
    Image of Penny Penny
    10/31/08

    In reply to Why Are Some States Keeping Real Americans Away From Sex Toys?
    I will challenge ANYONE who can orgasm while fantasizing about Palin.


    Yes, I am sick.

     Reply
    Penny was starred Penny was unstarred
    Image of Jack_Burton Jack_Burton
    10/31/08

    @Archetype: Wouldn't be fair.


    I'd cheat and think of Tina Fey, not "Sawah Paywin."

     Reply
    Jack_Burton was starred Jack_Burton was unstarred
    Image of Kilotwat Kilotwat
    10/31/08

    In reply to Why Are Some States Keeping Real Americans Away From Sex Toys?
    We all know Palin's sex toys are the kind that maims and kills. She orgasms as she mows down beluga whales from a chopper, like an animal-hating version of Xenia Onatopp:
     Reply
    Kilotwat was starred Kilotwat was unstarred
    Image of sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit) sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit)
    10/31/08

    @Kilotwat: GoldenEye might be my favorite Bond flick, if only for the combination of Xenia Onatopp and Sean Bean.
     Reply
    sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit) was starred sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit) was unstarred
    Image of aspiringexpatriate aspiringexpatriate
    10/31/08

    @sarah.not.palin.will.vote.for.obama.on.tuesday: Otherwise known as Jean Grey, or Famke Jensen. Oh, and of course Alan Cumming.
     Reply
    aspiringexpatriate was starred aspiringexpatriate was unstarred
    Image of Mkp-hearts-NYC Mkp-hearts-NYC
    10/31/08

    In reply to Why Are Some States Keeping Real Americans Away From Sex Toys?
    Tchyeah. If women can get vibrators easily, what for we need the menz?
     Reply
    Mkp-hearts-NYC was starred Mkp-hearts-NYC was unstarred
    Image of cheshirecatfish cheshirecatfish
    10/31/08

    @Mkp-hearts-nyc: Because then we'd be obsolete. Who makes t3h bebbehs?
     Reply
    cheshirecatfish was starred cheshirecatfish was unstarred
    Image of Mkp-hearts-NYC Mkp-hearts-NYC
    10/31/08

    @cheshirecatfish: teh turkee basterz?
     Reply
    Mkp-hearts-NYC was starred Mkp-hearts-NYC was unstarred
    Image of Jack_Burton Jack_Burton
    10/31/08

    @Mkp-hearts-nyc: To take out the garbage.


    Oh, wait...

     Reply
    Jack_Burton was starred Jack_Burton was unstarred
    Image of Khrushchev Khrushchev
    10/31/08

    In reply to Why Are Some States Keeping Real Americans Away From Sex Toys?
    "To protect the public against themselves"?! I am reading this correctly, right? He means to protect the public from orgasm? I don't understand people.
     Reply
    Khrushchev was starred Khrushchev was unstarred
    Image of Penny Penny
    10/31/08

    @Khrushchev: Me, I am just hung up on how I can go as an Orgasm for Halloween.....
     Reply
    Penny was starred Penny was unstarred
    Image of Khrushchev Khrushchev
    10/31/08

    @Archetype: Please tell me you live in Alabama, where that is THE SCARIEST THING IMAGINABLE.
     Reply
    Khrushchev was starred Khrushchev was unstarred
    Image of Eleanor Ramilly Eleanor Ramilly
    10/31/08

    @Khrushchev: I know that Alabama is a very (ahem) churchy state... probably means that if you saw it you might not be able to resist purchasing it and committing lude acts against yourself and Jesus...
     Reply
    Eleanor Ramilly was starred Eleanor Ramilly was unstarred
    Image of Penny Penny
    10/31/08

    @Khrushchev: California. Where I'd get MAJOR snaps.
     Reply
    Penny was starred Penny was unstarred
    Image of Mkp-hearts-NYC Mkp-hearts-NYC
    10/31/08

    @Archetype: The orgasm that ate Birmingham! You'll need a cardboard cityscape to put under your shirt and the willingness to pull a Meg Ryan at a moment's notice.
     Reply
    Mkp-hearts-NYC was starred Mkp-hearts-NYC was unstarred
    Image of Khrushchev Khrushchev
    10/31/08

    @Archetype: Ha. Awesome.


    @jessicarabbit: Not if we wear our purity rings!

     Reply
    Khrushchev was starred Khrushchev was unstarred
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