red sox - Jezebel

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WTF Moment On Late Night TV
Ben Affleck Does Regis Philbin, Morgan Freeman
John McCain's Speeches Suck; Samantha Power Is The Comeback Kid
We Will Eat Your Babies, Slash Your Tires

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MissFiFi
09/22/09

In reply to WTF Moment On Late Night TV
Best thing is the true rivalry with the Yankees was with with Orioles, but it changed.
And yes, I hate the Red Sox and she is so bandwagon cause her hubby is a fan.
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Princess Leela promoted this comment Edited by MissFiFi at 09/22/09 3:22 PM MissFiFi was starred MissFiFi was unstarred

Princess Leela
09/22/09

@MissFiFi: Please. When was this the "true" rivalry? A few years in the 1990s? I know you Yankee fans are a bit bitter that the Sawx can finally hang with you and then some, but c'mon.

And we welcome spouses onto the Red Sox bandwagon. As long as they can rattle off a lineup (check!), it's all good.
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MissFiFi
09/22/09

@Princess Leela: Actually, I am not bitter, it is about time the Sox won so fans could concentrate, love the game & actually discuss it instead of just yelling "Yanks Suck" I have loved Baseball all my life, but this rivalry has annoyed the fuck out of me, way before the Sox won. As a Yankee fan, yeah I get it, I am blowhard to you, but at the end of the day. it is just a game that, unfortunately, I have no financial interest in. Owning a team might be fun though.
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WaldenLa?rts
09/22/09

In reply to WTF Moment On Late Night TV
Love that she called David Rodriguez "papi"...she is soo adorable.
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CollegeCamel
09/22/09

@WaldenLa?rts: ORTIZ! David ORTIZ! And he is Papi, everyone calls him that!
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katie.scarlett.o'hara
09/22/09

In reply to WTF Moment On Late Night TV
Aw, I love her. I hope this Invention of Lying movie is good because she is so funny and needs to be in better movies, damnit.
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RollRoll
09/22/09

@katie.scarlett.o'hara: Ricky Gervais wrote it. It shall be awesome.
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katie.scarlett.o'hara
09/22/09

@RollRoll: I don't know, the trailers looks awful . I have faith though. He was on an episode of Alias that I LOVED.
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lollapulizer
09/22/09

In reply to WTF Moment On Late Night TV
My love for Jennifer Garner is endless.
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NefariousNewt
09/22/09

In reply to WTF Moment On Late Night TV
Might I just say, that I love Jennifer Garner, and Jennifer, if Ben ever treats you badly, I'm here for you.
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katie.scarlett.o'hara
09/22/09

@NefariousNewt a.k.a. General Awesomesauce: There was a blind item a few days ago that seemed to be about them and implied Ben was cheating with Blake Lively and that Jen would be hanging around the set of their new movie more. What do I see this morning? JEN VISITING THE SET. I really hope this isn't true.
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NewsBunny
09/22/09

In reply to WTF Moment On Late Night TV
This is not a WTF moment. Any true Boston fan would NOT touch anything embossed with the Yankee's mark of Evil. The Evil Empire is something that should be spit upon at any time.

My only problem with this is that Jay, who is from Andover, forced another Red Sox fan to wear a Skankees cap and touch a filthy picture of Derek Jeter. Jay is from Andover, MA, and should have far more respect for a Red Sox fan that THAT.

Did I mention the YANKEES SUCK?
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Princess Leela
09/22/09

@NewsBunny: w00t! I guess she had to be a good sport, but I wouldn't even put that hat on backward. I once got drenched in pouring rain at a Sox-Yanks game in the Bronx because I had no umbrella and refused to put on the only available plastic poncho (had the Logo of Evil and Wrong all over it, natch).
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NewsBunny
09/22/09

@Princess Leela: I bow to your fandom.
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NefariousNewt
09/22/09

@NewsBunny: Well, a Red Sox fan can touch Yankees stuff... if they are burning it, chopping it into pieces, putting it in a shredder, or running it over.

BTW -- YANKEES SUCK!
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jebash
09/22/09

@NewsBunny: I find it really hard to believe that Jay is a Sox fan. He seems much more likely to be an Empire of Evil fan - all commercial and sucky.

Plus, Mike Lowell definitely rocks. Yummy.
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NewsBunny
09/22/09

@jebash: I believe that Mike Bloomberg, being from MEDFID, MA, (my hometown) is secretly a Red Sox fan, but must hide it because of his political life.

I think he has a secret room in a Mansion some a wh eres devoted to Soxiness.
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BabyJane
09/22/09

In reply to WTF Moment On Late Night TV
I would normally add, "Go Red Sox!" but they broke my heart last night and I'm not speaking to them at the moment.
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justcallmeangel
09/22/09

@BabyJane: That's what they do. They break your heart, again and again. But that's part of being a Sox fan.
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CurtCole
09/22/09

@BabyJane:
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BabyJane
09/22/09

@justcallmeangel: *sigh* Sad, but true.
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boobookitt
09/22/09

@BabyJane: I'm looking forward to a couple of losing seasons - lose the riffraff johnie come lately fans.
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Spaceman Bill Leah
09/22/09

@BabyJane: Don't worry. They did it on purpose because they are waiting until I fly home to see a game with my sister next week to clinch their playoff spot . It'll be ok.
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NefariousNewt
09/22/09

@BabyJane: They can't win them all, sadly. I wouldn't worry about last night.
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ManofReason
09/22/09

@BabyJane: Come on. It is very hard to complain about 2 titles in the last 5 years and a very good chance with Lester, Beckett and Buchholz as the 1, 2, 3 rotation guys for another ring. 2003, you bet your ass that was awful but I have forgiven Grady Little.
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NewsBunny
09/22/09

@Spaceman Bill Leah: Don't give up! Remember 2004!
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NefariousNewt
09/22/09

@BabyJane: Besides, you'll be all smiles again when they mop the floor with the Yanks over the weekend. We've won ten of our last 12, while the Yuckees can't seem to decide what they want to do. Plus, our schedule down the stretch is easier than theirs. I smell AL East crown!!!!
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boobookitt
09/22/09

@ManofReason: Really? I haven't. Seriously? Leaving in Pedro on Pedro's say so?

But I'm still bitter about Buckner being left in on first instead of putting Stapleton in.
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stacyinbean
09/22/09

@CurtCole: Did you just hide a cake behind a cow?! Genius!
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Princess Leela
09/22/09

@boobookitteh: Yes indeed, and I grew up thinking Bucky Dent's middle initial was F. We New Englanders have long memories. :-)
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NYGal81
09/22/09

@NefariousNewt a.k.a. General Awesomesauce: Only very relatively speaking. I'm not sure the Sox get a tremendous advantage with the Jays and Indians compared to the Rays and Royals. All four of those team will be happy to play "spoiler" since none have a prayer of winning the wild card and can play balls out with nothing to lose. Just like most seasons, it seems--with the notable exception of last season--it's probably all going to boil down to this weekend. Nothing like keeping it interesting! Can't wait to see how it shakes out.
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MarissaExplainsItAll
04/16/09

In reply to Ben Affleck Does Regis Philbin, Morgan Freeman
Jennifer must be so shocked to see who else Ben Affleck is doing.
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ImDatNinja (loves her Red Sox)
04/16/09

In reply to Ben Affleck Does Regis Philbin, Morgan Freeman
Yall know I love my sox so this made me happy today ( btw they won yesterday).
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theruraljuror
04/16/09

In reply to Ben Affleck Does Regis Philbin, Morgan Freeman
Wow, that was actually a good Morgan Freeman impression.
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heykoukla
04/16/09

@theruraljuror: Yeah, I thought it was great. He started swerving off into Muhammad Ali territory for a little while, but he pulled it back.
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Hamsterpants
04/16/09

In reply to Ben Affleck Does Regis Philbin, Morgan Freeman
All respect I *might* have had for Ben went straight down the crapper after I saw some of the more egregious scenes in "Gigli". It's gonna take a few more years for him to live that shit down.
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otherginger
04/16/09

@Hamsterpants: Gobble?
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Hamsterpants
04/16/09

@otherginger: You had to go there, didn't you?
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sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit)
04/16/09

In reply to Ben Affleck Does Regis Philbin, Morgan Freeman
I have to admit I laughed when he said he would throw the Yankee dress on the fire instead of give it to his daughter. Because I'd say the same thing if someone gave me Red Sox paraphernalia for my children. Not that we're currently winning our home opener at the stupid new ballpark in the Bronx. I dub this the Curse of Affleck.
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ellaesther
04/16/09

In reply to Ben Affleck Does Regis Philbin, Morgan Freeman
I.love.Ben.Affleck.

There! I've said it, and I won't apologize. Man made one bad relationship decision (and who amongst hasn't done that?) and he can't be taken seriously again.

Talented, cute, gracious, and damn funny. Haters, check out Dogma, and come back when the tears of laughter have stopped rolling down your faces.

/ends lovefest, returns to the writing project she keeps trying to escape/
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sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit)
04/16/09

@ellaesther: Yes, I am a Ben-lover really just because of Dogma. The man can be fucking hilarious when he has the right material. And I would hatefuck him into oblivion if we ever met at a Sox-Yankees game. (Assuming he was magically single, that is.)
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dreamweave
04/16/09

@ellaesther: and he gives a shit about what's going on in the world outside of his own life. props for that.
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GirlFailer
04/16/09

@ellaesther: ME TOO! Jenny from the block was just a blip on the radar. He was great in Good Will Hunting too, even if it was a minor part. I LOVE BEN AFFLECK. (Casey Affleck, too.)
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Liz11685
04/16/09

@ellaesther: I too love Ben Affleck, and even the ghost of Bennifer won't deter me.
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fulanita
04/16/09

@ellaesther: (psst...me too)

What? Who said that?
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ellaesther
04/16/09

@sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit): See? I knew we were pals for good reason!

Oh, Dogma. Why haven't more people seen you? I keep trying to reference the throwing the popcorn back into the box scene, and nobody knows what I'm talking about.

(And I wouldn't even have to hatefuck him. I could just fuckfuck him!). (Presuming magical singleness for us both, but of course).
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ellaesther
04/16/09

@fulanita: Come out, come out fulanita! You appear to be in good, and rather extensive, company! Come on, honey, you can do it!
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Mediokra
04/16/09

@ellaesther: The man is growing on me. Dogma is a classic. Extract looks like it might be good. And I kinda loved his Keith Olbermann impression on SNL, even if that skit went on a bit too long.
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MediumMac
04/16/09

@GirlSailor: Me too, but I have a special weapon.

They have two daughters. I have two sons. Violet and my eldest are the same age, and Seraphina and my youngest are the same age.

Here's the story

of a man named Affleck

who was bringing up two very lovely girls.

Both of them Boston fans just like their father,

the Yankees make them hurl....

Here's the story

of MediumMac

who was busy with two boys of her own.

Mariner fans living together

the only ones in town.

Til one day when this lady went on Facebook

and proved it was much more than a hunch.

That little app would suggest we be family

and that's the way we became the Maffleck bunch.
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hello.kitty
04/16/09

@ellaesther: No love for CHASING AMY?
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maneki neko
04/16/09

@hello.kitty: Chasing Amy is one of my all-time faves! Ben needs to stick to Kevin Smith films, and stay the heck out of action hero roles, for reals.
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katie.scarlett.o'hara
04/16/09

@ellaesther: I love him too.

I'll even watch Pearl Harbor if it's on tv. Don't judge me.
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PreposterousHypothesis
04/16/09

@ellaesther: To fully put myself in embarrassing territory, I had a big celebrity crush on him in high school. So much so that I wrote him a fan letter. And asked him to my prom. I was hoping he would appreciate my chutzpah. Alas, he did not come, and I ended up going with the guy who ended up spinning around on my friend's hardwood floor post-prom, and he hadn't even drank anything.

Wow, now I'm not even sure which is more embarrassing.
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GirlFailer
04/16/09

@katie.scarlett.o'hara: Oh man, he looked fucktastic in Pearl Harbor... My loins are tingling now, thank you.
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ellaesther
04/16/09

@MediumMac: THAT is brilliant. Well played madam! Though I am a smidge-bit worried about how you're going to get rid of the spouses in order to make this ditty come true....

@hello.kitty: Alas, no, because the voice of the woman who plays Amy (see? I've blocked her name!) is so hideously grating that I can't fully enjoy the film....

@PreposterousHypothesis: Ah, young one. So many other embarrassments await you in life! Plus which, your first story is adorable (if painful... that big a crush can hurt, man!), and the second is fucking funny. May all your embarrassments be one or the other as you move through this life.
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annewithaneee
04/16/09

In reply to Ben Affleck Does Regis Philbin, Morgan Freeman
According to Facebook, Ben is my celebrity boyfriend. I think I will have him do Rege on our next pretend date. Then I will play with Violet and um, the other one, so that when I become the stepmama they will lurve me.

I am pathetic, no?
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BlondeGoddess
04/16/09

@annewithaneee: And he's married to Jennifer Garner and has at least adorbale daughter (I've never seen the baby).
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BlondeGoddess
04/16/09

@BlondeGoddess: Oops, comment was meant for ellaesther below.
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sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit)
04/16/09

@annewithaneee: Yeah, he's my FB boyfriend. Weird...
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sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit)
04/16/09

In reply to Ben Affleck Does Regis Philbin, Morgan Freeman
I really don't need to think about Ben Affleck "doing Regis." Although I'm sure by now someone is turning it into a slashfic, somewhere in the wilderness of the interwebz.
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