Relax, I know it was a typo. Consumers and sex workers: I do in fact support a woman's right to freely choose sex work, but you'll find plenty of people, even here, who do not.

By the same token, I do not necessarily believe that all clients are disgusting men who deserve to be shamed. Things are not always black and white.

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I agree, surely customers should be judged on a case by case basis? The number of young men who now indulge on weekend trips to Amsterdam is surprisingly large, in my experience, and I'd hate to think they're suddenly out of the dating game because of such a thing.

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i found the comment interesting too, because there've been a few articles on jezebel supporting the rights of sex workers, and the idea that it might be better for women if prostitution were legalized in the united states. who exactly will the sex workers be servicing? it's as though there's this fantasy that a sex worker gets to bed lots of hot guys or something.

park outside the door of a strip club some night and note the many un-hot, douchey guys that come and go. all ages, etc. it would be the same with prostitution.

and why the horror about the specials in attempts to bring in business? when somebody is a sex worker, it IS about de-personalizing sex as a business. and when it's legalized, why wouldn't the same marketing tactics be used to draw in customers?

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That said, the state of prostitution being what it is in the United States, illegal and seedy and unsafe, I probably wouldn't be comfortable being either with a guy who frequented them or a woman who had been one. My feelings may change if I were in a country where it was legal and a situation that was overall healthier.

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So I have no problem saying sleeping with sex workers is pretty close to a deal breaker. A one time visit to a brothel which he had no interest in repeating I think I could be okay with, but habitually visits to a sex worker is a total deal breaker.

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I think it's mostly a question of how the john treats other women, women who aren't sex workers. Unfortunately, I think there's a stereotype that johns generally treat women badly no matter what the context is.

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Why is there a distinction? "The whore is just someone to fuck, but I treat my mom really well" is an acceptable distinction? No. Being a john should be deemed unacceptable.

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But we're not talking about makeup.

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So please take this as a general reply:

A lot of jobs are chosen for less than savoury reasons. I daresay there are countless people that work one or more crappy jobs just to make ends meet.

It is obvious that the sex industry is addled with problems of exploitation of women.

However, if a woman makes the choice freely and in and informed way, if she is furthermore protected by the law (ie not in an 'illegal' profession)... I would fully support her choice to be a sex worker and a John's choice to frequent that service.

My personal feelings about this - if I could sell sex, if I would date someone who buys it - have nothing to do with this.

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I'm not judging any sex workers, so please don't take this personally.

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[www.thefword.org.uk]

[www.sciam.com]

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And I know this is an anecdote and all, but all the men I know who go to strip clubs are pretty misogynistic. My bf and a few other guys, who show no signs of being woman-haters, find it to be revolting, demeaning, and disrespectful.

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@LaComtesse: Ah, the old "don't you guys have anything better to do?" put-down. No, actually those of us in LE have nothing better to do than UPHOLD THE LAW. After all, it's only, um, our jobs.

Little known fact, I guess: Most vice stings are conducted at the public's bequest. In other words, they occur because of the many requests from the community to "do something about it!" and get rid of the acts they don't want to see (sex transactions, drugs, etc.), don't want their children witnessing, and the acts that lower housing values. If police didn't do what the community as a whole wants, they would be terribly remiss in serving that community.

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@onestrawplz: Ummm. Well. Some sex workers are hired for their skills and knowledge. Some other professions are hired for their bodies as material objects (models and soldiers, especially mercenary ones, both come to mind). But perhaps if we didn't see a sexual encounter as something so very different from eating or hygiene, then we wouldn't have the patterns we do in the behavior of johns.

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Prostitution is a totally gray area, but I'm uncomfortable casting it as inherently wrong, or casting all women who choose it as a profession as victims.

(Please note I said "women who choose" -- I absolutely agree about the increase in sex trafficking, and the fact that trafficked women really are victims.)

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@heatherwritesstuff: You may not like the assertion that it's "always about abuse" but numerous studies show that abuse plays a huge hand in prostitution. Prostitution is not a "totally gray area." I think with all these recess-prostitution stories one would have heard of scores of laid off men turning to prostitution, especially since it's male dominated industries that are being affected. But no, just women and girls. There are women who "choose" prostitution but too often their choice is colored by desperation, manipulation and worse. Yes, yes, we can all name those happy, independent, healthy women who love their sex-working but they are in a very small minority. Not all prostitutes are victims but that doesn't hide the fact that prostitution is a dangerous job and given a way out, many many of its workers would take it.

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It's just that, unfortunately, stories about female hookers are entirely 'sexier,' in addition to the fact that we perceive these women as victims, where as males who 'choose' prostitution are just 'lucky' and 'getting laid.' Look at the articles we've seen about male prostitutes on Jez -- like that one a few weeks back about dudes who (primarily) serviced non-able-bodied women. There was zero mention in the original media that these guys could be exploited, because we somehow 1) see them as more in control of their decisions or 2) see men as sexual actors; not people who are acted upon, 3) believe men's choices must be more rational, regardless of abuse and victimization or 4) some sick combination of all of the above.

I still firmly believe that a lot of women's career choices are coloured by manipulation and desperation, but that doesn't make them victims or their decisions invalid.

Of course there are fundamental issues with prostitution, but in my mind, they lie more in society than in the industry. We should work harder to change societal structures, so that women don't have to act out of desperation -- regardless of whether that act is working at McDonald's or working a street corner. Yes, prostitution in its current state is inherently problematic, but I'm still uncomfortable denouncing the industry as a whole, or adult's choices, as somehow wrong. But that's just me.

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the foxy lady?

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Can you tell I'm trying really hard NOT to think about work right now? :-P

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Plus, I tend to think that women have higher standards for hookups than men do. I hope, anyway.

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Of course, I'm speaking generally, as of course you were by saying men fuck anything, but in the majority I think it's still true.

Although some scientists will have you believe that we're hormonally designed to become more emotionally invested in our sexual encounters, so who knows?

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As for men being willing to fuck anything...I was being serious. I mean, that's totally true, right? ;)

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I think women are more likely than men to care that the person who is sleeping with them is attracted to them.

And maybe men are more capable of self-delusion. I read an article in Marie Claire a long time ago about a married man who visited one specific sex worker. He claimed that the sex worker just LOVED blowing him, while his wife couldn't stand it. It never seemed to occur to him that if the sex worker loved blowing him so much, she'd be offering to do it for free.

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Let's say someone has a son and a daughter, and they have rather stereotypical attitudes about sex, and they give their daughter the "don't give way the milk!" talk a million times, while they give their son no such talk and roll their eyes and say "boys will be boys!"

Who is more likely to be choosy in regards to sex, here?

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/sorry.

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BTW: How the eff do I do italics and bold?

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All the tips you need are right here:

[lifehacker.com]

Just scroll about a third of the way down the page for formatting stuff.

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