Jezebel 
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New York, 6:15 AM
Fri Nov 27
2 posts in the last 24 hours
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05/13/09
Yes, there are many times I feel less than feminine. The broad shoulders, big arms and legs, big hands and feet, wide back and height are not that attractive to the average shallow male. There have been some guys who asked me to slim down, as if I can reduce the size of my bones.
But who needs them?
It does suck that amazonian women are seen as less feminine because to be feminine seems to mean to be powerless, except for "feminine wiles". Of which I have none.
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Unfortunately, that would be hypocritical of me because I am the QUEEN of hating on my own looks.
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When I wear heels and a dress, I feel pretty but feel like a decoration... but being physically strong and feeling like I accomplished something makes me feel truly beautiful, like a goddess. I wish Rebecca could look at it the same way and own her athleticism.
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(USA Today column about the ads, to jog anyone's memory: [www.usatoday.com])
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If you think of a conventionally-defined "feminine" appearance, there are connotations of being soft, small, tidy, delicate, perhaps with fresh-looking colors and ethereal, flowing fabric. And while I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with any of these physical attributes, if you happen to have them, they just don't work on me.
Between the ages of 16 and 19, though, I definitely DID want to be very small and tiny and delicate (wasn't in the genetic cards for me, that's for damn sure), because I thought I couldn't be attractive otherwise. It took several years and a lot of positive reinforcement from friends and loved ones to realize I can be strong and smart and compelling without trying to hunch over and be tiny.
Now I actually don't mind my height and big-boned-ness. I kind of rock it. I like towering and asserting my sense of space (and looking down at men and occasionally sneering, which makes me a bad feminist I am sure.) But 19 is SUCH a tough age. I hope Rebecca comes to see her her strength and agility as positive things, as gifts--she's worked very hard for those muscles and skills, and I hope she embraces that and realizes how beautiful she is.
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Also, it's possible to look less exhausted with concealer.
But it would be difficult for makeup alone to make me look like Anne Hathaway, so on that front, I cede your point.
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Granted, I did work at UPS for 6 years (guess who didn't have to worry about working out then?) and now that I've picked up rugby, it definitely helps to have these shoulders so I can have some force in a scrum.
Plus, if shoulder pads ever come back in style, I won't need them. Thank God.
Broad-shouldered broads FTW!! (and girlfriend is hot - fuck that noise)
05/13/09
Now at the age of 25, I'll have to say that it's just NOW that I'm starting to be comfortable with the fact that it's ok that I'm not feminine. And that somebody will love me regardless.
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Former rugger here! I was always an athlete but somehow managed to stay chubby until I started playing rugby in college. I think maybe I was just more dedicated...or the conditioning was different...but it totally transformed by body. My team was not very skilled so our coaches pretty much just made sure we were in great shape so we didn't look like complete assholes on the field. There was one point where we were doing so much leg work that our thighs were bulging out of our jeans Hulk-style. I miss that.
Fuckity fuck, I need to go to the gym.
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And I was just the opposite - not athletic at all. I was a fine arts kid and picked up rugby, literally in February. (Going from UPS to a desk job has not been nice to me) But you're right, it does transform your body. Luckily our team has some pretty experienced players so they overshadow my slow-to-come athleticism. :)
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I'm on vacation and was wincing at the unmadeup face in the mirror and the roundness in the swimsuit when my Mom said, "you look awesome." It made me stop and appreciate my health and TRY to appreciate my looks a little harder.
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Best response to possibly the stupidiest/most insensitive questions of all time. I hate that women's bodies are often deeemd to be public properties for display hence the catcalls and wanting to touch women's pregnant belly/ask if someone's pregnant? What's it to you, anyway?
I just want to want down the street and take public transportation without having to sport a bitchface all the time and then as usual some asshole will have the gall to tell me to smile. Ugh!
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Also, depreciating oneself in response to an offensive comment seems like it would just make you feel worse. Or me, at least.
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