On last night's premiere of Project Runway, we met many new characters. Like Johnny The Recovering Meth Addict, who was feeling hopeless and ready to quit. Tim Gunn fixed him up right quick!

We also met Ari, who's a little loopy.

Here's Ari doing a handstand:

When the contestants were given 30 minutes to sketch, Ari said, "What if we don't sketch?" Here's the look Epperson gave her at that moment:

While watching the episode last night (and furiously typing, for the liveblog), I was just enjoying being back in the PR world. Tim Gunn! Heidi Klum! Mood! But now, in the cold light of day (and now that the beer buzz has worn off) I realize that this first episode was actually very disjointed. Why take the contestants to the Emmys red carpet? Just because they could? It doesn't seem to have the WOW factor of taking them to the supermarket or the paper factory or whatever, as in previous challenges. And what does Lindsay Lohan have to do with the Emmys? Not a damn thing. In addition, LL didn't really add much as a guest judge.

Here's what Lindsay looked like when she liked something:

Here's what Lindsay looked liked when she didn't like something:

Here's what Lindsay looked like when she was unsure:

Here's Nina Garcia's face when that see-through toga nightie went by:

Here's what Heidi looked like through the whole runway show:
She's just happy to be there!

Of all the dresses on the runway, I really liked Irina's, even if it was a little safe, a little Carolina Herrera, a little Oscar de la Renta. It was gorgeous!

I also really liked Chrisopher's dress — a mix of girly and edgy, romantic and tough. Christopher won the first challenge, so this was the winning dress.

The losing dress? The "space suit from outer space" "disco soccerball" "halter diaper" made by loopy — but clearly, uh, creative! — Ari.
Bye Ari!

[Images via MyLifetime.com]

Luke Conley, the bachelor in question, is a 26-year-old former college offensive lineman and "ham by nature." He's 6-foot-3 and 330 pounds. He's apt to utter lines like "If she's got a big behind, she's a friend of mine." He saw a Craigslist ad seeking men who love full-figured women, and sent an e-mail which began, "Sugar, look no further. I am the man for you!"

(Even though two other guys were being considered for the show, they were ditched and Luke got the job. Executive producer SallyAnn Salsano says: "We all fell in love with Luke because he is so genuine. He makes the girls feel comfortable.")

The thing about Luke is that he seems like he is genuinely in it to find a girlfriend, or a wife. "Coming into this thing, I had hopes of meeting someone special, but I knew it's such a short amount of time to get to know someone," he says. On the day that the LA Times is present, he makes out with three or four women. Which is not to say that he's not sincere: Despite being prodded and questioned by producers, Luke says:

"The difficult part has been having to talk so much about what I'm feeling… I usually like to spend a lot of time in thought and process things before I just open and verbalize them. I feel that words are very powerful, so I want to choose them correctly."

But even if it seems like Luke Conley's heart is in the right place, what about the network? Home of My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance and The Littlest Groom? The Fox network + plus-size contestants = cringe.

Executive producer Mike Fleiss swears the tone is different from his other show, The Bachelor: "The Bachelor is about beautiful people living a beautiful life and hopefully finding a beautiful love," he explains. "This show is like a sporting event. You're rooting for someone to find love." So… Not beautiful? Just sweaty, and messy, like football or wrestling?

This article in the Independent claims that "Fatsploitation" TV in the UK only fuels the obesity crisis, making fat a "sideshow curiosity." The way fat people are portrayed can lead to "societal fat phobia" — people who would never make racist or sexist remarks end up saying prejudiced things about the overweight.

Fox President Mike Darnell says: "I'm really, really excited about this show. It's amazing, when you think of 50 or 60 iterations, that nobody's ever tried the simple idea to make it real women and a real guy rather than fake actors or wanna-be models, which is really what it's been up to this point." Amazing? Not sure about that. It's not surprising, really, given the way overweight people are treated in the media, that they would be neglected from being allowed to participate in a dating show. Fatties allowed to love or be loved? Madness! But what would be even more amazing? If these "real" people, these overweight singles with "more to love" were actually allowed to compete alongside slender people, instead of being segregated into a ghetto of a plus-size show. Do they have cooties or something? Let's face it, the show is a gimmick, right? You're tuning in not for love, but for fat, and the title reminds you that the people on the show are packing something extra. How is it not exploitation? Won't we just see a lineup of fat, single ladies desperate for a man, competing for his attention? Of course, Luke may be the show's saving grace, since he actually likes larger women (as many men, both slender and large, do). And the women aren't the only ones with something to lose. Luke says:

"I'm hoping that when I put my heart on the line that I don't end up being heartbroken because I am planning on making myself vulnerable to a special woman at the end of this whole thing."

A Bachelor Looks For 'More To Love' [LA Times]
Unhealthy Appetite: Is 'Fatsploitation' Fuelling The Obesity Crisis? [Independent]
Related: The Reality Of TV Dating Shows [LA Times]

• So. Fergie has recorded the theme song for the Sex And The City Movie and it is fucking insane. Seriously. It's a fast-paced track that uses the original instrumental music from the show, with Fergie sing-rapping lyrics like: "Shopping for labels, shopping for love... Manolo and Louis is all I'm thinking of... Emotional baggage just replace them with Dior... Let's stop chasing the boys and shop some more..." It does not appear to be a joke. You can listen to the nauseating ditty here. Just a warning: You may puke or cry or both. [People]
  
• Heidi Montag won't be at the White House Correspondents dinner because Spencer Pratt got involved and demanded first-class tickets for both of them — even though he wasn't invited. When he was denied, Spencer canceled Heidi's appearance because the event "wasn't A-listy enough." Meanwhile, Pamela Anderson, Ashlee Simpson, Pete Wentz, Hayden Panettierre, Claire Danes, Rob Lowe and Donatella Versace will all be there. Aren't you proud to be an American? [Page Six]
  
• When Ellen DeGeneres asked Ashlee Simpson,"Are you or are you not pregnant?" Ashlee said: "Well, that has been going on for quite a while. That is something that I choose personally not to discuss." In other words, yes. [People]
  
• Colin Firth and Helen Hunt were shooting an intimate scene together when someone farted. [The Sun]
  
• Amy Winehouse got drunk and tried to headbutt some dude. [Mirror]

• She also maybe punched someone else and also "snogged a mystery fella" before walking into a lamppost. [The Sun]
• Jennifer Lopez will co-executive produce, co-create and star in a TLC "docu-series" aka reality show, about how she juggles a career (including launching a new fragrance) and motherhood. Hmm, maybe with vaults of cash and lots of servants? [People]
• Also signing a deal with TLC for "unscripted" shows: Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos. [Perez Hilton]
• Star Jones filed for divorce from Al Reynolds back in March, and she's now released a statement: "Several years ago I made an error in judgment by inviting the media into the most intimate area of my life. A month ago I filed for divorce. The dissolution of a marriage is a difficult time in anyone's life that requires privacy with one's thoughts. I have committed myself to handling this situation with dignity and grace and look forward to emerging from this period as a stronger and wiser woman." What she means is: "He's gay." [Concrete Loop]
• Gisele Bundchen and Sylvester Stallone: Filming a Volkswagen commercial for Brazil? [Page Six]
• Caliente blind item! "Which gorgeous Latina actress is said to have a Sapphic relationship with her hair stylist?" [Gatecrasher]
• Wesley Snipes has asked some of his famous pals to write letters to the judge who is sentencing him for fraud. His character references include Denzel Washington and Woody Harrelson. Snipes could get three years in prison — he's set to be sentenced today. [TMZ]
• Jamie-Lynn Sigler and boyfriend Scott Sartiano: Dunzo. [People]
• Snoop Dogg is no longer banned from Britain! Huzzah! [Guardian]
• Sir Paul McCartney is £100 million richer than he claimed in his divorce hearing. When you have a lot of money, it's easy to forget about a £100 million here and there. [Telegraph]
• Anna Nicole Smith's mother is suing Anna's lawyer (Howard K. Stern) and TMZ, claiming she was defamed. Doesn't she know they defame everyone? [Reuters]
• Paris Hilton is banned from the Hyatt in Moscow for allegedly writing her name on the wall in her room with a black marker. "Miss Hilton ruined the wallpaper in the luxury suite. In such a case the client automatically goes on the black list," says a spokesperson. She shoulda stayed at the Hilton. [UPI]
• Alicia Keys has canceled two shows because of swollen vocal cords. [Reuters]
• Yes, yes, the rumors are true, one of the Gossip Girl characters is gay, and it's Eric van der Woodsen. [LA Times]
• Joe Simpson is the third wheel in Jessica and Tony Romo's relationship, gross. [MSNBC]
• Orlando Brown of That's So Raven was missing for 24 hours but has returned, saying he "felt a little lost and needed to get away." [People]
• The wife of Billy Blanks, creator of Tae Bo, has filed for divorce.They've been married since 1974, which is inspiring/depressing. [TMZ]
• Paramount Pictures is suing Don Cornelius, host of Soul Train. Something about $290,000 in debt. Back in the day, Soul Train was the shit, huh? [TMZ]
• Director Stephen Daldry is talking about bringing his 2002 film The Hours to Broadway — possibly as an opera. Yeah, hmmm. Ponder that for a minute. [Gatecrasher]
• Carrie Underwood has been cheated on once or twice but doesn't recommend property damage like her song says. [People]
• Imprisoned Pete Doherty is "surprisingly chipper." [Mirror]
• OMG is Amy Poehler pregnant??? [ONTD]

• Marc Jacobs wants a reality show, and Project Runway's Tim Gunn wants it for him. "The whole thing's sort of egotistical, I suppose, but I do find myself entertaining," says Jacobs. And says Gunn, "God knows Marc has a fascinating life, and he looks great. I'd watch." Well, if it has Tim's vote... [NY Mag]
  
• Marc Jacobs' kidswear line Little Marc is opening up a little store. [WWD, 5th item]
  
• Sex and the City wardrobe spoiler. Says Patricia Field: "Without giving too much away, there is a shoe from Dior that Carrie wears all the time that I am sure will be on fire... My intention in the movie was to approach it realizing that four or five years have passed... there are little twists on Carrie that will be an opposite approach from the image we have of her, like a heavier shoe or studs." [WWD, 2nd item]

• Jason Schwartzman is the new face of indie fashion label Band of Outsiders. Is that name sort of self-awareness wrapped in irony wrapped in self-awareness wrapped in sincerity? Or is Jason Schwartzman just a bad fit? [WWD, 2nd item]
• Fila has launched a contest on its website, asking brand-devotees to submit photos of themselves that answer the question "How do you Fila?" Not that it's an invitation for teenage boys to submit photos of themselves "fila"-ing up girls who are "fila"-ing horny or anything. [MediaPost]
• Kohl's, meanwhile, answers this question and says, "With us!" A new Fila for Kohl's line will be in stores next fall. [WSJ]
• Giorgio Armani visited Australia this weekend so he could, um, bond with the beneficiaries of the "biggest single financial donation to an Australian theatrical institution," his declaration of "patronage" to the Sydney Theatre Company, helmed by Cate Blanchett. [WWD, sub req'd]
• And in other self-congratulatory Armani-speak, Giorgio also says, "Cary Grant is still the man. He managed to look good in a suit even while running across a field being chased by a plane. My friend George Clooney has that quality too - he looks effortlessly smart whatever he is wearing. I'm flattered that he chooses to wear my designs." [Vogue UK]
• Valentino: Also humble! "People say, 'Oh, Mr. Valentino, fashion without you is very sad.'" [Fashion Week Daily]
• Damon Dash-better half Rachel Roy just got an undisclosed amount of funding from TSM, a firm that also just purchased 22% of English label Matthew Williamson. Not sure why she needs the money, but, ha ha, just kidding. [Vogue UK]
• Bebe: No longer designing with fur! PETA likes this! Bebe: Still selling fur! PETA does not like this. [PETA]