Jezebel: real housewives of new york city

Why Does Jennifer Lopez Hide In The Storage Closet At Airports? (Hint: It's Not The Paparazzi!)

Moe — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 09:00:00 EDT

First Class lounges aren't really exclusive enough for Jennifer Lopez anymore, but she's got a resourceful fix: she slips through a mysterious unmarked door in the lounge, giving the illusion she is entering some platinum VIP area, when really she's just hiding in a storage closet. Yeah, I couldn't have made that shit up either. [MSNBC]
Oh shit, and this JUST HAPPENED: so maybe JLo was just avoiding getting served with the $5 million lawsuit filed by the flight attendant her guard dog attacked. [TMZ]
But a subpoena in that 1999 nightclub shooting — shit, it sucks when you realize something that feels forever ago actually was forever ago — found her! [NY Post]
Verne Troyer is suing TMZ for $20 million over that sex tape thing. Not because it's a sex tape, but for copyright reasons. Show of hands: did anyone actually watch the clip of this? I really don't think he lost too many otherwise paying customers. If amateur midget porn is what you're into is a little clip really going to sate you? [TMZ]
Bill Clinton and Oprah Winfrey ran into each other at Nelson Mandela's 90th birthday party but sources say it didn't seem like they had much to say to one another. [Page Six]
Will Anne Hathaway put aside the hurt she feels and save the poor puppy Raffaello Follieri can no longer afford to have walked? Well, Anne?? [Page Six]

And speaking of our dashing Italian Vati-con, some socialite is pissed she invited him and Anne to some event and they paid for tickets and never showed up. Cry me a fucking river, Lauren Vernon. [NY Post]
Babyshambles is pulling out of the Glastonbury Festival. [Guardian]
Amy Winehouse is…still planning on performing! [Telegraph]
"I do not speak to those two. First of all, he drinks too much. And is very insulting. And they are not invited to my July Fourth party in the Hamptons, which is very big and which is my fifth annual and which everybody wants to come to. She and I will keep doing the show, of course, but I will have nothing to do with her otherwise." Now, I know it's summer, when Cindy Adams devotes an entire column about a group of reality stars who actually fess up to making less than $1,000 a show, but this column is seriously kind of awesome. [NY Post]
You can take Donda West's surgeon off your list of "Notorious Hollywood Plastic surgeons most likely to be nabbed on DUI charges" now. [AP]
If you haven't already heard about this from that one guy you know who could die happy if only for another Phish Reunion tour, well…Phish might be reuniting. [Reuters]
Will Smith's Fourth of July movie sounds reaaally promising. [Fox News]
Jessica Biel is looking kind of gaunt and French these days, like she's taken up an unhealthy lifestyle or something, and I mean that in the best way possible. [People]
Engaged: Uma Thurman, to some "financier." [He's Elle Macpherson's ex! -Ed.] [NY Daily News]
Engaged and actually planning to wed: Portia to Ellen. [NY Daily News]
Engaged and not actually planning to wed: Joel Madden to Nicole Richie. [People]

This Week We Learned About Hookers, Muumuus And Moms.

Jessica — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 18:20:00 EDT

If this whole Jezebel thing doesn't work out, we now know how to become an internet "escort."
Lilly Ledbetter is a stand-up lady. Maybe someday women will get equal pay for equal work, but not today.
But look! Babies and puppies!
We became certified Tina Feynatics.
We talked about moms! You can't live with them, can't shed their DNA.

Spitzer? I don't even know 'er!
We were not that into the Sex and the City-branded lingerie. Shudder.
The Real Housewives of New York City reunion was possibly the best 60 minutes of television we've ever seen. Thank GOD it's been picked up for a second season! We can't wait to hang with Ramoarawn again.
So throw on that muumuu, and remember: VD is for Everybody.

Real Housewives Reunion: "Ramona, Are You A Moar-Rawn!?"

Tracie — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 16:00:00 EDT

There was so much that went down on the Real Housewives of New York City reunion, that we had to put up a second clip to continue the discussion. Here's the rundown: Ramona pretty much acted like an insane person for the entire hour (like when she refused to sit on the couch for the discussion of Alex's nude photos), but she got really heated when she was challenged on her habitual lying by Jill. Jill became so frustrated that she screamed in her Long Island accent, "Ramona, are you a moar-rawn!?" If there is a second season of this show (please, please!), we will totally be referring to Ramona as Ramoarawn.

Earlier: Real Housewives Reunion: Alex McCord, Husband Can't Keep Story Straight On Nude Photos

Real Housewives Reunion: Alex McCord, Husband Can't Keep Story Straight On Nude Photos

Tracie — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:40:00 EDT

OMG! How awesome was the Real Housewives of New York City reunion special last night? The women all 'took it there', and didn't let each other off the hook for anything, giving us tons to talk about. First of all, how bullshit is it that Simon and Alex tried to say they aren't social climbers when they admitted it on camera? Secondly, did you hear their answer to the question about Alex's nude photos popping up on the internet? They said that the photographer illegally released them, and that Alex and Simon had no choice but to just accept. However, we know that neither is true. Also, how fucking perfect is it that Alex quoted Ayn Rand to explain herself!? Clip above, and another one on the way, later today.

Real Housewife, Husband, Sic Lawyers On Photog Over Naked Photos

Tracie — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 16:30:00 EDT

Remember that series of nude photographs of Alex McCord of Real Housewives of New York City that surfaced a few weeks ago? Well, Ms. McCord, is, not surprisingly, having regrets. The images were taken over a year ago as part of photographer Mike Boyd's "Masks" project, a series of photos of naked models wearing Mardi Gras masks. (McCord answered Mike's Craigslist call for models for "artistic nudes" and was paid $100 for the sitting, which her husband, Simon, attended with her.) But now that McCord been identified as one of the masked women and photos have made the rounds, Boyd tells us that he's received threatening emails and calls from the couple and their lawyers, even though, according to the terms of the release form Alex signed, he hasn't done anything wrong.

Boyd explains that he is allowed to use the photos for promotion for his own site, but not if he uses McCord's name. And although he removed them from his site after someone found them, identified McCord and posted them elsewhere, McCord and her husband will not leave him alone. Says Boyd:

Simon emailed me again and stated that they may be interested in buying the rights to the photos from me. They keep telling me this and then say that if I post the photos anywhere then they won't want them. Then I never hear back from them so I don't really think they're interested in buying them, I think they just want to fool me into not using them. I think they're trying the carrot now versus the stick.

As for what it is about the rest of the photos that has Alex and Simon so freaked, it could be pure vanity. "[They're not] racy," he says. "Alex told me she thinks she looks fat in some of them."

Related: Real Naked [Gawker]

Even Real Housewives Have Kids Who Are Pains In The Ass

Tracie — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 11:00:00 EDT

Ugh: Last night was the finale of Real Housewives of New York City, but seriously, how can things be over already when they were just getting good and bitchy? Fortunately, we did get more of a glimpse into the psyche of Francois, the oldest of Alex and Simon's little boys. He's wild, and, during the big group dinner at the 21 Club, he caused a scene by screaming at the top of his lungs and destroying someone's $30 cheeseburger. To be fair, if my sister and I were taken to a 5-star restaurant when we were that age, we would've probably beat the shit out of each other, spilled something on my mom, and acted out the little piggy from A Christmas Story. But as Bethenny said, the way that Alex and Simon discuss child-rearing — getting them into the best schools, teaching them different languages, choosing the proper instrument to learn — you'd think their kids would be into Emily Post or some shit. Clip above.

Earlier: Larry King's Awesome Spazzy Spawn

Real Housewives: Husband Crashes Girls Night Out, Pisses Off Girls

Tracie — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 13:30:00 EDT

As we've witnessed on Real Housewives of New York City (and in real life in NYC), Alex and her husband Simon are attached at the hip, to the point that it seems unnatural. In fact, their codependency has been a major plot point on the series, because it kinda freaks out the other women cast members. On last night's episode, Bethenny threw a "girl's night out" dinner party at Jill's apartment, but Alex decided to bring Simon. This really pissed off Ramona. She had a meltdown and then abruptly got up from the dinner table to go hang out with her girlfriends downtown. She was kind of rude, but honestly we don't really blame her. There's always that one woman who can't be out in public without her BF/husband, and dealing with that shit gets really old, really fast. Clip above.

Unmarried Real Housewife Bethenny Gets Really Drunk...Again

Tracie — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 11:00:00 EDT

Last week, booze-loving, baby-fever Bethenny became our favorite of the Real Housewives of New York City, and last night's episode only served to solidify our feelings about her when she got both drunk and belligerent at Brooklyn mom Alex's surprise birthday party. Clip above.

Earlier: The Unmarried Real Housewife Is Definitely Our Favorite

The Unmarried Real Housewife Is Definitely Our Favorite

Tracie — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 16:20:00 EDT

It's really easy to be grossed out by the climber-y vibe you get from some of the cast members of The Real Housewives of New York City, but Betheny — the one who isn't married, and has a career, thus making her kind of the opposite of a housewife — seems to be the only one who is truly self-aware. It's kind of great, albeit a little mean girl-ish, how she gives Alex shit for naming her kids Francois and Johan and trying to make them baby geniuses (which she seems to be failing at, since she couldn't even get Francois into a good pre-K). Clip above.

Real Housewives Of NYC: "Just Because I Like [Women's] Clothes Doesn't Make Me Gay"

Tracie — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 11:00:00 EDT

I cannot get enough of the co-dependent Brooklyn couple Alex and Simon on The Real Housewives of New York City. The names they pick for their children (Johan and Francois), their skimpy beach attire, their uppity-ness regarding cultural sophistication which is offset by their mutual love of trashy Roberto Cavalli garb — it's all so perfect. And just when you think Simon's sexual preference couldn't be anymore questionable, he'll limply dangle a gold pantsuit as a potential fashion choice for his wife. In the clip above, the pair attend a show at NYC's Fashion Week, and eyebrows are raised by the other Housewives about Simon's presence there.

Earlier: Real Housewives Of New York: Fabulous Homes, Fabulous Vacations, Fabulous... Husbands?

Real Housewives' Countess LuAnn Is Kind Of A Cuntess

Jessica — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 11:00:00 EDT

Last night's Real Housewives of New York City really emphasized the differences between the New York "housewives" and the O.C. "housewives". For the most part, the O.C. Housewives were buddies: they got Botox together, got drunk together, and yelled at their kids together. The Real Housewives of New York, however, are much more focused on social status/hierarchy, and absolutely delight in snubbing each other. In the clip above, Ramona, who is desperately trying to befriend the more patrician Countess LuAnn deLesseps, goes to children's day at the Hampton Classic horse show, where LuAnn's daughter Victoria is "showing." In some later commentary, LuAnn gives Ramona the most backhanded compliment I've ever heard. Clip above.