Michael Bay's Remake of The Birds Is Going to Suck Ass

In life, there are few things one can predict with accuracy, even after years of training. Just ask a financial analyst who works for 80 hours a week studying the intricacies of stock price movement only to finally manage a fund that consistently underperforms the market. Just ask a couple divorcing after 30 years of… » 3/13/14 4:45pm 3/13/14 4:45pm

Who Should They Cast in the (Totally Unnecessary) Little Women Remake?

Apparently, the several Little Women movies that have already been released into the universe are not enough. Variety reports that Sony has tapped new writer Olivia Milch to write a new version of the classic tale. Despite the fact that this is horrible news and why on earth would we want to improve upon the… » 10/23/13 3:50pm 10/23/13 3:50pm

The Annie Remake: Willow Smith Out, Quevanzhané Wallis In?

A remake of Annie — updated to modern times, set in Detroit and possibly produced by "Hard-Knock Life"-lover Jay-Z — has been in the works for a while. Last year, Emma Thompson told the BBC she'd been working on the script for three years; we also heard that Willow Smith would star in the flick. But now, Shadow and… » 1/30/13 5:10pm 1/30/13 5:10pm

The Carrie Remake Will Probably Bully You Into Seeing It

When news broke that the powers-that-be in Hollywood were remaking Carrie, maybe you greeted the news with a good-natured, "Huh, this could be okay," as you trolled around the internet for a trailer. Maybe you were outraged that Hollywood seems bent on making your collection of 70s and 80s horror movies entirely… » 10/14/12 4:00pm 10/14/12 4:00pm

Who Would You Want to See in the Whatever Happened to Baby Jane Remake?

Obviously no one, no one can ever top Joan Crawford and Bette Davis. Seriously epic legends, both. But, as Jim Brooks reports for the LA Times, director Walter Hill would like to do a new version of the 1962 "delicious hot mess of black comedy/chiller thriller." Among Brooks's casting suggestions: Meryl Streep and… » 8/20/12 7:10pm 8/20/12 7:10pm

Care Bears: The Latest Beloved Childhood Characters Hollywood Plans to…

In the vein of Smurfs, Battleship and Sabrina The Teenage Witch, Hollywood continues to mine your childhood for ideas. Now it's Care Bears. But, well, not a movie. A new show, for kids, with GCI bears. So maybe it's okay. Can't help getting prematurely irate, since Saw 8 and Top Gun 2 are in the works, and after… » 4/23/12 4:00pm 4/23/12 4:00pm