1. Rashida Jones is Awesome
This interview in Vanity Fair brings out the best of Jones, who manages to work in how people go to Sundance just for the freebies, why celeb rags like Us Weekly are evil, the rise and fall of Michael Jackson, the difference between American and European socialites (read: intellect and underwear), hot chicks kicking ass, why she's more of a Betty than a Veronica (including why Jughead's "the hot, dirty, sexy, one"), and something about her dating John Mayer, which I am going to pretend I didn't read. Also, what's on her iPod is cool.

2. It's Based on a Paris Hilton Fantasy

No kidding.

Back when Paris was at her height of fame and people were just obsessed with her, I had this funny notion that she's actually some crazy genius who knew exactly what she was doing, and she was just conducting this elaborate anthropological study on the world. I imagined that she was going home every night and whispering into her mini-recorder: "Day three hundred and twenty seven. I continue to have them all fooled." That was sort of where the idea for this comic started. And also, I'm obsessed with our country's almost cannibalistic obsession with people who are famous for no other reason than that they're famous. I thought, "Wouldn't it be interesting to give somebody like Paris Hilton another layer? What if her fame is something more than just an overwhelming need to be an object of desire?" Ariana is a little bit reluctant to be in the spotlight, and there's a sadness to that.

3. Oni Press is Publishing Frenemy

During the height of my manga obsession, when I was tithing 10% of my after tax income to comics stores and my friends jokingly referred to guys behind the counter as my "pushers," one of the lovely counter jockeys at Big Planet Comics tried his best to get me to come back to the American fold.

His suggestion? Oni Press, which has some of the most visually appealing (at least to my eye) and female protagonist-heavy books in the industry. The covers from Chynna Clugston's 60s mod rom-comic Scooter Girl line my walls - and my love of that series lead me to check out more of her work (like Hopeless Savages and Blue Monday) and to regularly skim the new comics rack for the Oni logo instead of bee-lining to the tiny manga section.

When I moved away, I found less and less reason to darken Big Planet's doorstep - but any new hotness from Oni Press is worth a return visit, especially for Frenemy of the State.


4. There's Already a Movie Deal

Jones optioned the the rights to Frenemy, but doesn't plan to star in the film. She tells Variety:

"It's intended for a girl much younger than me, about age 20, an interesting age for girls as they make that scary jump to adulthood," she said. "She has lived a life of privilege, attended the best schools and learned every language, but her obsession with spying on exes gets her into trouble and she is recruited to be a spy in exchange for not going to prison. There is a comic element to it, this girl who is so conscious of social standing and wearing the right shoes, suddenly becoming responsible for these dangerous, life-threatening missions."

She is, however, co-writing the screenplay.

5. Brown People On The Cover

One of the first things I noticed about the cover of Frenemy of the State was the diverse group of people portrayed on the cover. It's too soon to tell if they will all play major roles in the comic (much less if they make it to the screen), but it is certainly refreshing to see a fantasy world that includes both a central female character and other people of color.

CCI: Oni Press Panelmonium [Comic Book Resources]
Rashida Jones is All About Hot Chicks Kicking Ass! [Vanity Fair]

Related:Scooter Girl [Oni Press]
Blue Monday [Oni Press]
Hopeless Savages [Oni Press]
Universal and Imagine make 'Frenemy' [Variety]
Rashida Jones Makes a 'Frenemy of the State' [Cinematical]

• Jon Gosselin's (possibly ex) girlfriend Hailey Glassman says Jon lied when he said he was spending Thanksgiving at his grandma's, and was really snowboarding. [ONTD]

• Tobey Maguire assured his wife Jennifer Meyer she has nothing to worry about when it comes to his love scenes with Natalie Portman in Brothers. It's called "acting." [Page Six]
• Susan Boyle cried after singing on The Today Show, and some upstanding person got it on video. [UPI]
  
• Kathleen Turner and her daughter spent Thanksgiving feeding hungry seniors. [NYDN]
• Rashida Jones refuses to answer questions about her possible relationship with John Mayer. How many people can John Mayer be "possibly dating"? [Page Six]
• Tyler Perry is being sued for stealing song lyrics for a song in Madea Goes to Jail. [NYDN]
• A launch date has been set for the Spice Girls musical nobody asked for.[The Sun]
• Jermaine Jackson claims that the recent suicide of the father of the accuser in Michael Jackson's child molestation case proves that Michael was innocent. Many might say the opposite, since the accuser's father was widely criticized for "selling" his son to Jackson for millions of dollars. [TMZ]
• Tila Tequila will agree not to sue a porn site that she claims shows her stolen sex tape if they pay her $280k. [TMZ]
• MacKenzie Phillips claims she's been "uninvited" to her family's Thanksgiving this year, which would no doubt be extra-awkward. [Access Hollywood]
• Rihanna's former neighbors are arguing because one of them harassed Rihanna while she lived next door. [TMZ]
• Boy George claims to be off drugs for good. [Daily Express]
• Avril Lavigne was spotted making out with a "dead ringer" for her ex-husband Deryck Whibley the other night. [Page Six]
• Pete Doherty could face a murder probe in the death of a man who fell or was pushed off a balcony after an argument with Doherty and others. [The Sun]
• Gwyneth Paltrow has dedicated the latest edition of her Goop newsletter to the memory of her father, Bruce. [The Mirror]
• Eminem says he should be a judge on the British talent show The X Factor. [The Sun]
• Leonardo DiCaprio was spotted in the Bahamas with his ex, supermodel Bar Rafaeli. Those two just can't stay away from each other. [Daily Express]
• With Dubai in financial trouble, Brad Pitt might have to scuttle plans to build a hotel there. Aww. [Guardian]
• I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here's Jordan begs Peter Andre for a reunion. [The Sun]
• Zac Efron says Guardian interview went "to a weird place." [Guardian]
• Posh Spice learned her lesson and left a good tip at Medieval Times during her most recent outing to the theme restaurant/theater. Question: Why does Posh Spice have to go to Medieval Times? [TMZ}
• In addition to every other reason to hate him lately, Michael Lohan is over $15k behind in child support payments. [TMZ]
• Arnold Schwarzenegger owes nearly $80k in back taxes. But probably not for long. [TMZ]

Leslie Mann looks lovely. Yes, the matching shoes are a tad Barbie, but I'm guessing her daughters approve.


Speaking of! Maude and Iris Apatow look like normal kids, always (sadly) refreshing. Also, Maude has the same half-Jew hair I had as a kid! Well, if mine had been groomed and detangled instead of a matted rat's nest.


Gotta say, Seth Rogen's looking sharp - even if he always looks more stoic than happy on the red carpet.


Anna Faris looks like she was caught doing something naughty - instead of just wearing a fairly unremarkable summer weekend outfit. What's she hiding behind her back?


Oh, Rashida Jones, you make it look so easy: love how the horizontals on the skirt are echoed by the sandals and the necklace!


Jonah Hill's pants are really long and he's wearing lace-up espadrilles. He's obviously aware of both these things, so.


Kinda digging on Elizabeth Banks' 80s cocktail - very Bright Lights, Big City. As to the hair, well, those of us susceptible to humidity are not adverse to seeing this become an acceptable look.


I've never seen comedian Aubrey Plaza scrubbed up; she "puts on the dog," as my grandfather would inexplicably have said, like a charm.


Okay, Eric Bana's obviously handsome blah blah blah, but if you're going to wear a natty suit, complete with gentlemanly trappings, you might as well shave.


So on the one hand, I love to see people taking chances and being creative and working without the stifling influence of stylists. On the other, Toni Collette looks daft.

[Images via Getty]

Serena Williams may look a little bridesmaid, but I love these graceful lines on her.


And Miranda Kerr is the bride! Albeit an incredibly glamorous one.


Jaime Pressly's mini kind of reminds me of what the evil trophy wife wears to her elderly mogul husband's funeral on a soap/one of those romance novels where all the wardrobe seems mired in 1984. Just picture it with a huge hat.


It's really striking how carefree Condoleezza Ricelooks now compared to...well, you know. Bright colors and a big smile make her look like a different dame!


Don't you wonder if Kendra and Condi were forced to talk? And what they said? And if she's hard to talk to in this dress - although I'm sure Kendra was totally un-self-conscious! And, from the waist down, it's extremely demure.


Rashida Jones can do almost no wrong in my book, but I'm not loving the fit of this - at least, in motion.


Venus Williams is perhaps the only woman in the world who could wear this caftan - and not the other way around. Some would say a tall lady shouldn't do a lot of pattern - I say they can and should!


Kristi Yamaguchi's right: self-exams are important. So are comfy shoes. Either, though, is optional for formal situations.


[Images via Getty]

• Remember this report that Quentin Tarantino asked Brad Pitt to join the cast of Inglourious Basterds over some wine and some weed?

Quentin says: "That was Brad. He did the fabrication. He can take a Coke can and make it - functional." [NY Mag]

• Unsolicited uterus update: "Is Penelope Cruz pregnant?" Is she? [Page Six]
• Matt Damon has launched a new humanitarian project, Water.org, aimed at bringing clean water sources to nearly 890 million people at risk of disease. [Mirror]
• "Why I Waited Until 44 To Do My First Nude Scene, By The Proposal Star Sandra Bullock." Actually, she doesn't explain that, but she does say: "If you're naked and you're trying to be sexy — you don't really make as much money as if you're naked and you're funny." [Daily Mail]
• NYC Artist Dash Snow has died of a drug overdose; his brother, Maxwell Snow, dated Mary-Kate Olsen. [ONTD, Page Six]
• What will the Harry Potter stars do after the the movies are over? Daniel Radcliffe hopes to head back to the stage, but also "sleep"; Emma Watson will attend college, but would like to work with directors Alfonso Cuaron and Guillermo del Toro; Rupert Grint says: "I look forward to seeing what else is out there and to move on, really." [USA Today]
• In a poll, Hermione was voted the favorite Harry Potter character. And! "Some 51% thought [Emma] Watson would have the best post-Potter career, with a large majority (67 percent) approving the idea of her appearing naked." Eyeroll! [Reuters]
• Uh, the Vatican approves of the latest Harry Potter movie, since it makes the debate over good versus evil crystal clear. [Mirror]
• Madonna's boyfriend Jesus Luz is "resentful" that Guy Ritchie has been hanging around lately. But, you know, Madge and Guy were married for eight years and have three kids together. So. As for Jesus, a source says Madonna likes him because "He's pretty and she can boss him around." [Gatecrasher]
• Pity the Poles! Britney's Circus tour won't be stopping in Warsaw, due to a contractual dispute. [AP]
• Robert Redford got married on Saturday! The bride was a German Fräulein named Sibylle Szaggars; the ceremony took place at St. Catherine Church in Hamburg. Herzlichen Glückwunsch! [AP]
• Nicole Kidman's daughter, Sunday Rose, has turned one year old, and Nic and husband Keith Urban celebrated with a "little cake." Also, Keith says, "My wife made a beautiful video that covered her first year and we gave that to all the family." The kid is already a film star. [Daily Express]
• David Beckham has a new tattoo: The ring of roses around his arm has one flower for each year of marriage to wife Victoria. Sweet. [Daily Mail]
• Is Simon Cowell worth £100 million a year? That's what he's negotiating for to stay on American Idol. [Mirror]
• An X Factor fan lost her purse and Simon Cowell gave her a wad of his own cash. He can spare it! [EW]
• The LAPD is treating Michael Jackson's death as a homicide, and Dr. Conrad Murray is the focus of the investigation. [TMZ]
• Debbie Rowe's lawyer denies that she accepted $4 million to walk away from the custody battle. He says: "Ms. Rowe has not accepted — and will not accept — any additional financial consideration beyond the spousal support she and Michael Jackson personally agreed to several years ago." The New York Post printed a story claiming that Rowe had struck a deal with the Jackson family, and her lawyer is calling it "unequivocally false." [TMZ, CBS News, Reuters]
• Debbie Rowe sent emails to a friend which say: "I'm not going after custody. These kids are not mine. They were never mine. They were always Michael's. I was Michael's best friend." [Extra]
• Dr. Arnold Klein, Michael Jackson's dermatologist, is not fully cooperating with official requests for medical records. [TMZ]
• The DEA is trying to find out who supplied Michael Jackson with the powerful anesthesia Propofol. [TMZ]
• "A maker of the potent anesthetic propofol found in Michael Jackson's home has been contacted by federal officials investigating the pop star's death and has recalled tens of thousands of vials of the drug after two tainted lots sickened dozens of patients." [AP]
• "I never saw him on drugs. Not once. He deliberately did it away from us. He didn't want his family to know anything about that part of him." — Tito Jackson on Michael's drug use. [Mirror]
• Jack Wishna, a Las Vegas businessman who tried to organized comeback shows for Michael Jackson, says the pop star would move a bunch of mattresses on to the floor so he and all his kids could play, jump up and down and sleep in the same room. In addition, he would leave his Christmas trees up for about seven months. [E!]
• At this link, you'll find similarities and differences between real-life super agent Ari Emanuel and the character inspired by him, Entourage's Ari Gold. [Independent]
• Zooey Deschanel was supposed to headline a screening and Q&A of her film 500 Days Of Summer on Monday, but she'd already headed to Ireland where she's shooting Your Highness, a fantasy flick in which she plays a princess. Zooey sent a recorded statement in which she said, "Umm, I guess I should maybe answer a few questions preemptively. ... I did the movie because I liked it." [Observer]
• Vanessa Hudgens will be in a movie called Bandslam, playing a character named Sa5m, and — this is important — the 5 is silent. [People]
• Emily Blunt joins Matt Damon in Adjustment Bureau, a movie based on a Philip K. Dick short story. [Variety]
• Russell Brand: The voice of the Easter Bunny. In a live action/CGI family comedy called I Hop, to be released in March 2011. [Variety]
• Miley Cyrus will star in Wings, a movie based on a novel about a high-school girl who sprouts a pair of wings and learns that she is a fairy. [Variety]
• Hugh Jackman's signed on to appear in Avon Man, in which guys laid off from an auto dealership end up working as Avon salesmen. Jackman + makeup + comedy? We're in. [Variety]
• Usher has a summer camp, Camp New Look, that invites 130 children to spend two weeks in Atlanta learning about the business side of sports and entertainment. Hey says: "These kids come here and they're like 'Oh, wow … we're going to learn about entertainment!' But they leave engaged in life and knowing that, 'I can have a future outside of music.' That's what makes me most proud." [USA Today]
• Uh-oh. Robert De Niro is a victim of an art scam? He is gonna take you down. Take you down to Chinatown. [Reuters]
• Hmm, I didn't know that Rashida Jones was dating President Obama's speechwriter, Jon Favreau. Where have I been? [Page Six]
• Q-Tip has inked a deal to publish his memoir, titled Industry Rules. Is one chapter titled "I Left My Wallet In El Segundo"? [mediabistro.com]
• Interesting piece about Angie Dickinson, who starred in the 1974-78 NBC series Police Woman, for which she earned a Golden Globe award and Emmy nominations as L.A. police officer Sgt. Pepper Anderson. The show paved the way for future female-driven cop shows. [LA Times]
• Congrats To Joey McIntyre and his wife, who are expecting their second child in December. [People]
• Some guy was trying to sue Janet Jackson, claiming that her bodyguards beat him up in a club, but the case was dismissed due to a lack of evidence. [Goathamist]
• Aerosmith bass player Tom Hamilton is recovering from non-invasive surgery and will miss some tour dates. [Reuters]
• Jane Fonda and music producer Richard Perry: It's on. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which grungy young starlet's idea of a good time is getting stoned with her ex-hippie parents?" [Gatecrasher]
• "When you have three kids, you've got to take your opportunities when they come. In a limo, on the way to the Academy Awards this year, Will started looking at me in this way that drives me wild. We started kissing passionately, and the next thing I knew, well, let's just say we missed the red carpet and I ended up with almost no makeup on." — Jada Pinkett Smith spills about her sex life. [Page Six]
• "[She] wipes the floor with me every time I play her." — Daniel Radcliffe, who says Emma Watson is a pro at table tennis. [The Sun]
• "I respect criticism. But I know more about film than most of the people writing about me. Not only that, I'm a better writer than most of the people writing about me. And I can write film criticism better than most of the people writing about me. [My goal was] to get the biggest standing ovation of the festival, and I got it [...] Sometimes it's your time to be Elvis, and that was my time." — Quentin Tarantino, on the mixed reviews of Inglourious Basterds and its reception at Cannes. [NY Mag]
• "I'm a trained astronaut, and it's my time to go." — Lance Bass is still hoping to head to space. [Gatecrasher]
• "I don't have his number, so haven't spoken to him. But I can safely say that his insisting that girls would choose me over him that they would not. That they do not. He is the much prettier and can be much more charming. And he can do that thing of being sultry and sexy." — Daniel Radcliffe, on Robert Pattinson. [The Daily Beast]
• "Although my grief over Michael could not be any deeper, I am not on suicide watch as some of the cheaper 'rags' would have you believe." — Elizabeth Taylor. [CNN]

• GLAAD is concerned about Sacha Baron Cohen's depiction of homosexuality in Brüno:

"We have very mixed emotions about the movie," says GLAAD's Rashad Robinson. "Those of us who saw the film agreed that you can't critique it as a single film because it's more like 90 minutes of individual sketches. Some are funny and hit their mark but others hit the [gay] community instead." GLAAD is asking for a bit where a baby is sitting in the same hot tub where two men are having sex be cut. "As someone who sat at the back of a focus group audience outside of Los Angeles, I felt they were laughing at us at times." [E!]

• Sacha Baron Cohen, dressed as Brüno, showed up outside of Buckingham Palace yesterday and announced: "I hope Prince Harry is coming to the premiere – I've heard he's a total slut!" [Telegraph]
• Brüno on prime minister Gordon Brown: "The guy needs a total makeover. He needs a fake tan, he needs to wear some tight slacks." [Telegraph]
• In the UK, you can't see Brüno unless you're over 18. [Telegraph]
• WTF: "Two police chiefs are under investigation for allegedly breaking into the Martins Ferry, Ohio, home of Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate in an attempt to dig up dirt they hoped to sell to the tabloids." [Gatecrasher]
• Elle magazine says it has "no reason" to believe that Lindsay Lohan is responsible for $500,000 worth of Dior jewelry missing from a photoshoot. [Gatecrasher]
• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have donated $1 million to the UN Refugee Agency, to help displaced people n Pakistan. This comes one week after Brad donated $1 million for a pediatric cancer center in Missouri. [People]
• Jersey Housewives' Danielle says of the showdown in the finale: "My kids deserved to see how Mommy was going to grow from this and move forward. My children needed to learn from that, and that is why they wanted to stay in the room." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Housewives' Dina says of Danielle: "I never denied that I was part of [exposing] the book. I just literally never had the book in my hands. Literally. Like, I never had possession of the book. So how can I go around showing something that was never in my hands? So Jacqueline misunderstood what I was saying. She thought I was saying I never had anything to do with it. But, no, I had everything to do with it." [People]
• Oh dear: Morgan Freeman had an affair with his step granddaughter??? [National Enquirer via Perez]
• Madonna is calling on Gwyneth Paltrow to help her decorate a room for new child, Mercy. Her Madgesty's "wish list" includes "porcelain dolls, antique teddy bears, a library of leather-bound children's books and ancient maps of Africa to adorn the walls." Plus! Lourdes is super excited about having a sister: "She's bought piles of leggings, hipster T-shirts, tutus and sneakers for the new arrival." [The Sun]
• This essay argues that Madonna's "acquisition" of Mercy just helps baby traffickers. [Daily Mail]
• "Madonna 'banned Kate Winslet's musician father from appearing on Snatch film soundtrack.'" [Daily Mail]
• Good news: Bret Michaels will not sue the Tony Awards, even though he was injured by a set piece: "I'm taking the high road." [People]
• Has Sean Penn gone back to his wife after Natalie Portman broke his heart? [Page Six]
• "Michael Jackson is looking for a child who is missing limbs or in a wheelchair to appear on stage with him at his O2 gigs." [The Sun]
• Wow: E! is asking fans if the site should be a "Speidi-Free Zone." In a poll, the site asks, "Beginning today through Sunday, we are putting it to the fans to decide whether to banish Heidi and Spencer from E! forever, or at least until they do something truly newsworthy." [E!]
• Billy Joel's daughter and ex-wife speak out about his split from wife Katie Lee: daughter Alexa says, "If my dad's happy, I'm happy and I respect any decision that he makes." Chrsitie Brinkley says: "I'm very sad that this has happened, and I wish them both happiness." [Extra]
• Billy Joel's wife Katie Lee was seen dancing "erotically" with fashion designer Yigal Azrouel six months ago, and some say he introduced her to people as his girlfriend. [NY Post]
• Apocalypto: Paris Hilton — and her reality show — have landed in Dubai. [AP]
• 50 Cent spent $33,000 on Tom Ford suits. [Page Six]
• Like Lost? Like Sawyer, aka Josh Holloway? In this clip, he talks about all kinds of stuff — his character, Jack, Juliet, etc. [EW]
• Lost alum Maggie Grace: Returning to Hawaii, but she teases: "I don't know why." [E!]
• I dare you, DARE you to watch this video of Ellen Page, Alia Shawkat (who was Maeby from Arrested Development), and Har Mar Superstar singing "Don't Stop Believing" and not cringe, wince or guffaw. [NY Mag]
• A fourth Mission: Impossible starring Tom Cruise? Just looks desperate. Although having JJ Abrams involved again is interesting. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Jennifer Aniston and Aaron Eckhart star in Love Happens, a movie about a self-help guru with a secret who dates a florist. Except it seems like the secret is given away in the trailer, which is posted at the link. [People]
• Reese Witherspoon with star in Pharm Girl, a comedy about one woman's experience working at a large pharmaceutical company — the longer she works there, the more she sees the "underbelly" of the industry. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Rashida Jones will star in a rom com called Celeste And Jesse Forever, about a divorcing couple who attempt to maintain their friendship while pursuing new relationships. [UPI]
• Coming soon: A Bride Of Frankenstein remake, in which "the monster is a babe," someone like Scarlett Johansson or Anne Hathaway. [Page Six]
• Guy Ritchie's chauffeur: Caught driving without insurance. [The Sun]
• Kelis has filed her financials with the court and it all comes down to the fact that she doesn't have a lot of cash, and having a baby takes money. She'd like Nas to pay up. [TMZ]
• TR Knight is leaving Grey's Anatomy and word is, he wants to do Broadway. Or at least: Theater. [E!]
• Snippet from this Betty White interview: You stole the movie [The Proposal]. And added the sentimentality it needed. That scene in the airplane really got me. "Well aren't you dear. Thank you." There were some other topics I wanted to cover— "Can I get you any coffee or water?" [MovieLine]
• George Lucas is building an office complex that looks exactly like Hearst Castle. [mediabistro.com]
• Critical acclaim for the second season of Mad Men? Duh. [Variety]
• You can't sue the Bionic Woman over a car crash! She doesn't drive. She just runs, making a wannannana - wannanana - sound effect! [TMZ]
• Ozzy Osbourne will appear on Jack Osbourne's show, Celebrity Adrenaline Junkie, in which stars do stuff like bungee jump, white water raft and skydive. [The Sun]
• "Ryan Cabrera Sued over Death Trap Driveway." [TMZ]
• Katie "Jordan" Price got drunk in Ibiza and said to a journalist: "I'm gonna cut your fucking face. I swear to God I'll fucking cut you." Charming! [Daily Mail]
• Is Conan O'Brien losing viewers to David Letterman? [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which ditsy blond didn't seem to care when a crowd of ladies caught her sniffing Colombia's finest - right out in the open - in Atlantic City?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Miss Congeniality was a romantic comedy, I call that a buddy flick. It's a new kind of film. If you really think about it; it wasn't about romance, it was about her saving her friend at the beauty pageant. Men do films like this, The Proposal or Miss Congeniality, all the time and they're considered comedies and there's always love in it. There's always love in it. There's always a relationship. I would like to help create a broader spectrum of categories where the writing gets better. There are great writers out there." — Sandra Bullock. [Reuters]
• "He's like a new man. He really went through something [with that racist tirade incident]. He used to be very angry and bitter. He's completely different now. You can see it, and he can feel it. I'm very happy for him." — Larry David on Michael Richards. [Reuters]
• "I wish I could afford to be here all the time, but it's a very expensive city to work in. It's gotten worse for me. It's gotten better in that they give you tax breaks. But everything (else) has gone up. I work on a very limited budget." — Woody Allen. [USA Today]
• "Chaz is embarking on a difficult journey, but one that I will support. I respect the courage it takes to go through this transition in the glare of public scrutiny, and although I may not understand, I will strive to be understanding ... The one thing that will never change is my abiding love for my child." — Cher, on her daughter's decision to undergo a sex change. [TMZ]
• "Positive is not funny. Nobody laughs at positive, 'What a beautiful day it is!' or how many friends I have, how many people love me. There's nothing funny about that at all. But there's funny in the negative. When you speak in negative terms, the more negative, the funnier it is. Hence, the funny crank." — Larry David. [LA Times]
• "In America, there's such a hunger for young people, so you get the young up-and-coming star. And then it becomes a time period when they really don't know what to do with you or how to use you. And then it changes, I think, after 50 - then you become - 'I'm the mother of the 20-year-old.' So I'm hoping there's going to be a shift again and I'll work more." — Andie MacDowell, who says her 40s were an awkward time because she had trouble finding roles. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "I don't like the word 'cougar' because it just makes me think of teeth and somebody who's biting. We have to come up with a new word." — Countess Luann de Lesseps. [Gatecrasher]
• "You know what, I prefer a flatter-chested look. That's just kind of me. I think it's more of a fashion look. If you look at a lot of high-fashion models and things like that, they're always you know, a little flatter. I like the way clothes fit better…" — Lauren Conrad is not into plastic surgery. [People]
• "We should all believe in something, and I believe it's time for another shot of tequila." — Justin Timberlake. [Page Six]
• "Seriously, this is one of my favorite songs ever. I love the whole album. I'm completely immersed in it. I can't wait for you to hear it." — Mariah Carey on her OWN new single. [NY Daily News]

While it wasn't hilarious, there were some funny moments, and I found myself wanting to give it a chance. The fact that Leslie and Ann (Amy Poehler and Rashida Jones) are on primetime TV talking about something other than shoes, men, dating or babies was refreshing in and of itself, although this comment from yesterday's Critical Mass did make me think:

This show is a WASTE OF AMY POEHLER'S WEIRDNESS. Amy's at her best when she's playing the manic oddball — her "RICK! RICK!" SNL character, or the one-legged girl with the flatulance prob, or even her pees-in-sinks "Baby Mama" character. Amy Poehler is NOT A MICHAEL SCOTT TYPE STRAIGHT (WO)MAN.

Anyway, toward the end of the episode, we did get a glimpse of Leslie's wackiness, when she got a little tipsy at the office. Clip above. Oh, and Amy and Rashida are both on Entertainment Weekly's new listicle, "The 25 Funniest Women In Hollywood."

Related: The 25 Funniest Women in Hollywood [EW]

The Good:
Aubrey Plaza gets major points, jealousy for pulling off yellow so beautifully. Extra kudos for the lipstick!


I love that Amy Poehler always looks comfortable in her own skin - and clothes.


Rashida Jones could probably get away with a sack, but she happens to be rocking a very cute, breezy frock.


Anna Faris gives the lbd a short, cute spin.


The Bad:
As Melora Hardin shows, accessories can make - or break - an outfit.


I love Mindy Kaling. I love jumpsuits. But somehow this combo isn't working for me.


What Say You?
Kate Flannery's bold geometrics: mis-fire or fired up? (And no, don't know what that means.)

[Images via Getty]

Parks and Recreation is about Leslie Knope (Amy Poehler), deputy director of the Parks and Recreation Department in Pawnee, Indiana. She loves her job but none of her coworkers share her enthusiasm. Tom (Aziz Ansari) constantly mocks her behind her back and her boss Ron (Nick Offerman) hates all government projects. In the first episode, town resident Ann Perkins (Rashida Jones) complains about an abandoned pit in her neighborhood. She just wants the pit filled in, but Knope decides to build a park on the site. She hopes a successful project will help her fulfill her dream of moving on from local government and becoming the next Hillary Clinton.

The show, which premiers tonight on NBC, was originally thought to be a spinoff of The Office, but it actually has no connection to that show's universe. However, critics say it's hard to get over the similarities, since the show has the same producers, it looks like it's being filmed by an unexplained documentary crew, Amy Poehler's character is similar to Michael Scott, and Rashida Jones is best known for playing Karen on The Office. Below, the critics weigh in on Parks and Recreation.

San Francisco Chronicle

Maybe if NBC and the people behind Parks and Recreation weren't so hell-bent on telling everyone it's not The Office and just embraced the fact that - one more time for clarity sake - it's The Office, viewers wouldn't be put off by the comparison. They would opt in if they were already fans of one of television's finest sitcoms. And let's face it, if viewers don't like The Office - which has never been a ratings hit despite the critical acclaim - then they will not go in for Parks and Recreation. Why? Because it's the same show, with different people in a different location.

Variety

The producers of The Office have hewn a little too closely to that show's template in Parks and Recreation, which despite a few amusing moments winds up feeling like that established program in drag.

What Parks would appear to need, more than anything, is a stronger human component (think the romance between Pam and Jim) to ground its eccentricities. There's a vague hint of that in the character of Ann (The Office transplant Rashida Jones), but even she's saddled with a good-for-nothing boyfriend, and there's nothing else initially to counter-balance Poehler's overwhelming presence.

USA Today

Thanks to Poehler, Leslie comes across as sweet and well-intentioned, a public servant who is able to view being yelled at as "people caring loudly at me." And yet the show merrily tortures her, pushing her in the pit, belittling her efforts, letting the deeply unlikable Tom undercut her with knowing, sarcastic glances to the camera, as if she were Michael from The Office. Parks never expends enough energy to even approach funny, but even if it were more amusing, that sour whiff of gratuitous cruelty would still linger.

Reuters

It's Poehler who owns the show, and she proves instantly that she's got the comic intelligence to carry a series like this one, which draws its energy from character interactions rather than broad punch lines. She's awkward but not alienating, and she's eager without being repelling. Most of all, there's a genuine heart to her that gives the comedy a balance and lets it be mocking without resorting to cruelty.

The New York Daily News

All this soon turns Parks and Recreation into a summer camp for lightweight one-liners, the kind of banter that might sustain an occasional SNL skit, but may have trouble supporting a whole sitcom. Unlike her SNL colleague Tina Fey, whose success with 30 Rock NBC would dearly love to replicate, Poehler just doesn't have the material to do it. Clueless, oblivious characters are a foundation of most sitcoms, but this show needs more of a humor base than a wall mural that shows Pawnee's first white settlers massacring the natives.

The New York Times

The show looks a lot like The Office, but there aren't many female leads on television quite like Leslie. The closest ones are women who volunteer to look foolish on reality shows like Bravo's Real Housewives of New York or TV Land's coming, self-explanatory dating show, The Cougar. There is also, of course, reality: Leslie in some ways recalls Katherine Harris, the former Florida secretary of state who became infamous during the 2000 election recount for her dim understanding of the law and clear love for the trappings of office.

Leslie is a classic ditz, which is to say that she is ridiculous and endearingly obtuse. What makes Ms. Poehler's star turn a milestone is that ditzes are traditionally supporting characters, like Jenna on 30 Rock and Karen on Will & Grace or, reaching back, Edith on All in the Family and Georgette on The Mary Tyler Moore Show. It's hard to think of many actresses since Lucille Ball who have been as wacky in a leading role on a network sitcom.

The Los Angeles Times

Like The Office, it does its work quietly — too quietly for some, I'm sure — and it is no more about actual small-town politics than is the Adult Swim cartoon Tom Goes to the Mayor. But it has a kind of sunny charm, a premise fit for a novel, and is built upon a pair of strong female leads, a rare enough thing in sitcoms. Poehler and Jones have a nice, contrapuntal rhythm. I stamp this show: approved.

She continues: ''I like being underestimated, though. My grandmother used to say, 'More than a handful is wasted.'... She was talking about my boobs.'' There's no doubt that Amy Poehler is funny, but there's an insane amount of pressure on her to succeed: With Parks And Recreation, which premieres tonight, in the coveted timeslot after The Office, everyone will be watching to see if the former Saturday Night Live "Weekend Update" co-host will turn the show into a hit. In an interview with The Daily Beast, Poehler is sure to explain that Parks and Office are each their own thing: "Once you watch the first episode, you'll realize the different world we're in. Besides, a lot of people don't know that there's a Ukrainian Parks and Recreation that going to come out after ours. So they're the ones that are gonna have to work hard." Additionally, costar Rashida Jones points out that the women of Parks give it something The Office lacks: ''There is a female buddy-comedy element to it, which The Office doesn't have. Our world is a little bigger.... So much of this has to do with this thing that exists outside - a big hole. Get ready to look at a big hole, America!''

Of her character, civil servant Leslie Knope, Poehler tells EW: ''She's like [Election's] Tracy Flick meets your soccer coach meets a baby calf. She's not savvy at all, but she's smart, she's capable, she works hard. I want her so badly to succeed. I just wanna pick her up like a little baby and tell her how to flirt with guys and take her away from the Dress Barn.''

As for the early reports that test audiences were "meh" on the show, executive producer Michael Schur does spin control: "By the time we had even gotten the results of the testing back, we had done, like, five more edits of the pilot. The only thing that matters at all is the final product, and it's going to be very, very different from the version that was thrown in front of a group of people."

While it would be great if the talented and hilarious Amy Poehler had a hit show, she seems to have a plan if Parks And Recreation fails. She tells the Beast: "Tina Fey and I have 15 things in development: Laverne and Shirley, Starsky and Hutch 3, Cagney and Lacey, Wonder Twins Activate From Two Hot Broads, Little House on the Prairie: The Musical: The Movie." Plus, she tells EW she has a five -year plan:

"I'm going to take all my money out and invest it in gold. Then melt that gold down and then build a gold hotel. Then have people stay in the hotel, paying only in gold. And then light the whole thing on fire, melt it again, and start from scratch,'' she explains. ''That's my five-year plan.''

Amy Poehler On Her New Sitcom [EW]
Amy Poehler: The Seriously Funny Interview [The Daily Beast]

[Los Angeles, March 17. Image via Getty]

[Los Angeles, January 27. Image via Flynet]

• Wow, Lindsay Lohan and Sean Penn nuzzled at a private dinner for Milk last week. Samantha Ronson was not present. What does it all mean? [Fox 411]
• Photographs of Jennifer Aniston in a wet T-shirt with a "visible breast" are in a calendar, but a spokesperson says, "I don't think this is legal." [Times Of India]
• In this interview to promote Marley & Me, Jennifer Aniston gets pissy about her personal life, and when asked about the "difficult times," Owen Wilson walks out. [USA Today]
• Oh, dear: Amy Winehouse's husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, wants $1.6 million to walk away from the marriage and not write a tell-all book. All together now: What kind of fuckery is this? [Perez Hilton]
• Another divorce payout: Madonna will reportedly give Guy Ritchie about £32 million in cash and prizes. [Telegraph]

• In this interview, Brtiney's mom, Lynne Spears, says she almost called her autobiography All My Fault. "I can laugh about it now, but did I feel that way at the time? Yes, I did and, if I'm being totally honest, I still do," she says. Lynne also talks about being worried that Britney will kill herself, the conservatorship and what's missing in Britney's life. [Daily Mail]
• David Beckham was being followed by paparazzi, so he and his bodyguard got out of the car and started punching photographers through the other car's window. [E!]
• Click to see a picture of David Beckham bungee jumping in New Zealand! [Mirror]
• Mary-Kate Olsen: Not pregnant, which makes it okay that she was in Miami, "smoking and drinking vodka cocktails all night." [Page Six]
• Ouch! Man Vs. Wild host Bear Grylls injured his shoulder in Antarctica during an expedition to raise money for charity. [CNN]
• What does Scarlett Johansson want for Christmas? Tickets to Barack Obama's inauguration ball! [Mirror]
• Is 42-year-old Janet Jackson knocked up? [Perez Hilton]
• Heath Ledger was posthumously named best actor by the Australian Film Institute for his role in The Dark Knight. [Reuters]
• Heidi Montag's mom suggested maybe Heidi was drugged before she married Spencer Pratt; Heidi says: "I want to make it very clear to family, friends and fans that the decision to marry Spencer was very much mine." Ugh, we know. [Contact Music]
• Perez Hilton has a book, you guys. Inside, predictions such as: "Britney will be probably be dead. I believe she came pretty close to the stripper pole in the sky the last time she hit rock bottom." And! Nicole Richie "will be really fat in her old age. Her body will rebel and she’ll weigh almost 180 lbs. OMG!" [Gatecrasher]
• America Ferrera will be the master of ceremonies at a debt-retirement "conversation" with Hillary Clinton. The Senator has $7.5 million in campaign debt, yikes. [MSNBC]
• Poor Barbra Streisand got a kiss from President Bush, whom she loathes, at the Kennedy Center honors. [NY Post]
• In an interview with Gwyneth Paltrow and her friend/trainer, Tracy Anderson (who also trains Madonna), Gwynnie reveals: "When I was about 25, I started doing ashtanga yoga every day. I did Pilates for a while and was always disciplined about it, but I never got the results I get with this. After my first 10 days I lost 11 inches!" [Gotham Magazine]
• Want Kanye West to appear at an after-party? Better have $40,000. [News.com.au]
• If you have $8.5 million, you can scoop up Jennifer Lopez's Bel Air estate. [TMZ]
• Jamie Foxx jokes that he's trying to pick out Barack Obama's Christmas puppy right now: "I think I'm going to get him a pitbull, we just got to keep it street." [Yahoo News]
• Lily Allen "swaps grungy guys for a more mature gent": She went to the ballet with her grandfather. [Mirror]
• Oh, and Lily Allen is sticking up for Amy Winehouse: "Yes, she does get out of her mind on drugs sometimes, but she is also a very clever, intelligent, witty, funny person who can hold it together. I mean, there aren't that many people with whom the press concentrate on their personality so much. I think in the UK, as far as females go, it's mainly me and her that get that treatment. She gets it more than I do. But I don't see it that much with other people." [Mirror]
• Keanu Reeves is trying to quit smoking. "I didn't even start until I was 30," he says. "Now it's a prison. I want to stop." [Daily Mail]
• Due to the economy, Kate Hudson is having a handmade Christmas: "We've always been pretty crafty anyway," she says. "We all knit. The girls knit. This year I’m doing these great big knit… Well, actually I shouldn’t even talk about it because I can’t say it!" [People]
• Wow, Catherine Hardwicke, who directed Twilight, won't be directing the sequel. What will become of the fangless, unscary vampires now? [EW]
• Terri Seymour on her breakup with Simon Cowell: "Simon will be a hard act to follow. But on the bright side at least I will be able to use the mirror. He used to take forever in the mornings." [Mirror]
• Suri Cruise is a budding artist. [Daily Mail]
• Dame Judi Dench was presented with a lifetime achievement award by The European Film Academy at a gala in Copenhagen, Denmark. [UPI]
• Jonny Lee Miller's wife, Michele Hicks, gave birth to a baby boy, Buster Timothy Miller. Will Buster get to play with the Jolie-Pitt kids? Jonny is still friends with ex-wife Angelina Jolie, right? [Yahoo News]
• Another day, another stalker: Alyssa Milano is seeking a temporary restraining order against a man who hiked miles to try and reach her and has displayed "increasingly threatening behavior." [AP]
• Chris Klein and Ginnifer Goodwin: Splitsville. [ET]
• Uterus news: Eric Dane says he and wife Rebecca Gayheart are "trying" to have kids. [ET]
• Another important message from Natalie Portman and Rashida Jones. [Funny Or Die]
• Blind item! "Which supposedly straight funnyman keeps getting caught in West Village dives propositioning men by opening his legs and winking? We hear the B-lister had a few takers." [Gatecrasher]
• 'Tis the season? There are six Holocaust-themed movies this winter. [Page Six]
• The Fonz, Henry Winkler, had terrible dyslexia: "I'd look at a menu, which I couldn't read, then ask what everyone else was having and choose from that. Or if I was out with a girl I'd tell her I loved the way she spoke and get her to read the whole menu to me. I got through life by listening very carefully to what people said and learning that way. As I got older I learned to ask for help." [Daily Mail]
• Is Danity Kane/Hairspray's Aubrey O'Day gay? [Page Six]
• "I'm 41. Everybody says I'd be dead. Well, I wouldn't be dead, I'd just be a little caricature of a rock star. Who wants to be a drug addict at 41? Listen, I'm 41, I've got two kids, I don't expect a 16-year-old to be looking to me for inspiration. It's the Arctic Monkeys' job now. I've done my bit. Now we go in the studio and it's just like, let's make some records, let's do it cos we love it." — Noel Gallagher. [Guardian]
• "I didn't want to see her journey belittled. She was not a stereotypical long-suffering wife who just chastised her husband when he was grumpy and took care of the kids. She was extremely capable, and she was forward thinking. Looking back, she was clearly a feminist." — Laura Linney on her role as Abigail Adams in John Adams. [Telegraph]
• "I'm just really lazy. Too lazy to phone the cleaning lady. But I do have a German boyfriend. He can't help cleaning. Recently he came back from a long trip and he kissed me and immediately went and cleaned the toilet." — Rufus Wainwright. [Newsweek]
• "I'm at a strange age. I'm not a woman yet, but I'm not a girl any more. [Film companies] say, 'Oh, in a couple of years you’ll be perfect for this.' I'll be like, yeah, but I want to be studying English then, so it’s going to be quite tough to choose between the two. I'm going to have a battle on my hands, because after Harry Potter has finished, I don't know. I definitely want to go to university." — Emma Watson. [Times Of London]
• "I will not be shagging Russell Brand. Just because I gave him my number does not mean I’ll be going on a date with him. I was the subject of one of his calls once, but I didn’t answer the phone thank goodness! I just saw his name come up on the screen and thought: 'I don’t think I’m going to answer that right now.' He was on air and it was just good female intuition. I had another conversation with him on the radio shortly before he left his radio show and he is a lot fun. I like him. And I can totally handle guys like that." — Dita Von Teese. [The Sun]

• Britney Spears's comeback includes a stop at NBC’s Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony on December 3. Will she perform? Will she push the button and light the tree? Will she ice skate? So many questions. [MSNBC]
• Wait a minute: In this report, Britney says her new life sucks! "There’s no excitement, there’s no passion. I have really good days, and then I have bad days. Even when you go to jail you know there’s the time when you’re gonna get out. But in this situation, it’s never ending. It’s just like Groundhog Day every day. […] I think it’s too in control. If I wasn’t under the restraints I’m under, I’d feel so liberated. When I tell them the way I feel, it’s like they hear but they’re really not listening." B-but- you're doing so well! [The Sun]
• Brit's new CD leaked all over the internet yesterday, probably deliberately. Fans dig it. [The Sun]
• Barack Obama's barber in Chicago says the President-Elect doesn't mind having gray hair. "It's not like he has a head full of gray hair," says Zariff, who only goes by one name. "It's just a few gray hairs, so it's nothing to get excited about." Oh! And Zariff might visit DC! "I said, 'I'm going with you' [if you win]," Zariff told Obama. His reply? "Absolutely. I'm not changing barbers, man." [Us]
• Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer had a romantic candlelight dinner. It's so on. [People]

• Have you seen Rihanna's new video, the one with Justin Timberlake? She slithers on the hood of a car, he's dripping wet in a wife beater. They embrace. It's HOT. [Concrete Loop]
• Jessica Simpson says her sister Ashlee may induce labor. What is she doing?
  "Different foot massages and stuff," Jessica told Ellen DeGeneres on her show (which airs Wednesday). "I don't know. I think she's really just jumping around trying everything right now." [People]
• Angelina Jolie was on BBC radio last night, talking about Changeling. There's video, so if you want to see her ignoring the camera, being incredibly reserved and looking down and being quiet, by all means, watch. [Perez Hilton]
• Angelina got super emotional while talking about her mom at a press conference in London. Tears! [Perez Hilton]
• When asked if the public could expect her to add to her enormous family with Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie replied: "Sure you can." [Mirror]
• By the by, Angelina's dad Jon Voight says he has one wish before he dies and it's "to work with my son [James Haven] and Angie again, in a movie. The three of us together. That would be nice." [MSNBC]
• Get psyched: Miley Cyrus will perform on the finale of Dancing With The Stars, just two days after her 16th birthday. Her song is called "Fly On The Wall," maybe you want to get the lyrics and sing along? [People, UPI]
• Jennifer Lopez loves motherhood and wants more babies. Cashmere onesies for everyone! [MSNBC]
• Tim Robbins has written an open letter to Gregory C. Soumas of the New York City Board of Elections. It begins: "I would like to publicly apologize for being such a dim-witted dilettante on Election Day. I was under the naïve assumption that I could vote where I voted in the last two elections." And it ends: "I was thinking of returning that favor by publishing your home address in this letter but then I thought that maybe one of the thousands of New Yorkers that were taken off the voter rolls in the last two months might not understand what a patriotic upstanding man you are and might show up at your doorstep with the misguided assumption that you are a petty vindictive corrupt scumbag." [Huffington Post]
• Christian Siriano: Engaged! He also might appear on Gossip Girl and says his next collection is "a little bit inspired by Egypt." Oh, and he saw the Victoria's Secret fashion show and declares: "Tranny Klum is fabulous." That's Heidi to you and me. [E!]
• William from Stylista has written a goodbye letter, in which he says: "I want Ashlie to win! Hands down! Team Ashlie all the way! She is, quite possibly, the only sane person (minus the hysterics) left on the show. Now, that's not to say that I don't like a little crazy, but honestly, I could sing Ashlie's praises all day." [Elle]
• Authorities found "multiple prescription bottles" by the body of Paula Goodspeed after she allegedly overdosed near Paula Abdul's house last week. [TMZ]
• An extra in a courtroom scene on NBC's Medium was so disruptive, he was kicked out of the jury box. Turns out he was Sasha Baron Cohen, dressed as Bruno. Guess Patricia Aquette didn't see that one coming. [EW]
• Lipstick Jungle: Not canceled. Yet. [NY Mag, NY Times]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt's trailer on the set of Ghost Whisperer was burgled. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson will not go to London, despite being sued by former pal Prince Abdullah of Bahrain. The cash was an advance, in exchange for two albums, a musical, and an autobiography. None of which Jackson has delivered. The trial started yesterday and continues today, without Jackson's presence; his lawyer says he is to ill to travel. [Fox 411]
• Courtney Love went on some kind of blogathon on Sunday, posting 60 times. Now she writes: "I didnt know that style.com would put all those links together, i dont ingest alchohol and to even make the merest suggestion of a Cr__k P–e is insane and mean.and a lie, wichyou know perfectly well." She also says: "i am not suicidal, occasionally very occasioanly like all of us i get depressed, and that was over a year ago and i had a mini little depression attack well big one, and the Lanvin show made me happier, i dont know quite why it happened but i find that mediciation is not the answer to this, working out and doing daimoku ( chanting) is as is yoga and eating correctly and i want somemore Kombucha tea i think that stuff is miraculous for glow and health. those things work far better than this chemical culture of numbing our rage and numbing our pains and demons." There's a [sic] on all of that, obvs. [Perez Hilton]
• Simon Cowell and Terri Seymour wer on Extra. They were asked why they broke up. Simon said: "Because Terri decided to dump me. You sent me a text." Terri replied: "I didn't dump you. It was just time. We had a great six years, and we're the best of friends." Simon denied that Terri got a £5 million "golden goodbye." He laughed: "If anything I should be getting the money." [Daily Mail]
• Russell Brand's girlfriend, Sydney Jo Jackson, is cute and curly-haired, but this paper says she is "equally barmy in the barnet department." [The Sun]
• Lenny Kravitz is having trouble selling is sexy penthouse, a "moody orgy palace" priced at $18 million. It's been on the market for six years; dreadlocked rockstar not included. [NY Mag via Curbed]
• What's in Julianne Moore's makeup bag? Kiehl's Original Musk, Tarte Cheek Stain in Blushing Bride, Olay Complete Defense Daily UV Moisturizer. And more. [Marie Claire]
• Jessica Lange has a book of photography and it is gorgeous. Click to see some black and white shots. [NY Mag]
• Brandon Walters, a 6 year old aboriginal boy who stars with Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman in Australia, is suddenly famous, but Nicole says: "I feel very protective of him. If the film does really well he is going to need a lot of protection." His mom says: "If it does become a problem for him we'll just go out bush, get away from it all. Now he's at school, he's happy and never stops talking. The film made him confident. He's no longer shy." [Reuters]
• Seth Rogan wants to make a porno-based comedy for Showtime. It would be a series about three twentysomethings who learn about life and love while running a pornography shop, and it's in development. [Variety]
• Rashida Jones: Back on NBC! She'll star in Amy Poehler's new show. [Page Six]
• Beef between Damon Dash and Jay-Z: Kanye West is involved, as are diamond chains. [Rush & Molloy]
• Speaking of Kanye, 50 Cent says Mr. West's new album is "interesting" and that the public "won't forgive him for it" and that it's actually "T-Pain's album." Ouch. [The.Life Files]
• Celine Dion has been forced to postpone several tour dates due to a respiratory virus. Her people say: "Her physician has instructed her to refrain from singing in order to completely recover." [Perez Hilton]
• Heather Locklear: Formally charged with DUI after that incident when she was arrested in September. She's been charged with one count of driving under the influence of prescription drugs. [Extra, TMZ]
• Actress Heather Matarazzo was supposed to marry girlfriend Caroline Murphy in California, but now that Prop 8 has passed, she jokes, "We're breaking up. I'm going to get together with [MSNBC's] Keith Olbermann. We'll have babies, lots of babies!" [Rush & Molloy]
• Spotted: Natalie Imbruglia snogging Will.i.am from the Black Eyed Peas. [Mirror]
• Meg Ryan has won a German lifetime achievement award for best international actress and will pick up the statuette at a gala ceremony November 27. They're calling her the "queen of romantic comedy" and seem to think it is still 1989. [Yahoo News]
• Stan Lee and Olivia de Havilland both received the National Medal of Arts and the National Humanities Medal at the White House yesterday. [Washington Post]
• The Daily Mail apologizes for its "inaccurate" article about David Duchovny and his tennis coach. [People]
• "So how did Steve Martin and Maureen McCormick end up on a date? Florence Henderson knew Chevy Chase, who knew Steve Martin, who wanted Maureen's phone number. They had dinner and made out and the kissing was good, but Maureen was out of it. It would be their only date." [Huffington Post]
• This story, called "Producers' fury at George Takei for boldly going where he shouldn't have" is about how Takei urinated in the camp in the middle of the night on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. Producers are pissed! [Daily Mail]
• So far, George Takei is the favorite to win the show! [Mirror]
• Katie "Jordan" Price and husband Peter Andre are not on the rocks; here is a picture of her wearing a giant "P" necklace to prove it. [The Sun]
• Mindy McCready, who was released from jail two weeks ago, says she isn't proud of an affair she had with baseball great Roger Clemens. She met Clemens when she was 16 but didn't have sex with him until several years later. "Roger Clemens is one of the most wonderful men I've ever known. He treated me like a princess." But! She says she now has "nothing but remorse and nothing but sympathy for what [his wife Debbie] had to go through with this situation, and she has my utmost apology." [UPI]
• Coming to Broadway: Priscilla Queen of the Desert, the musical! [UPI]
• Mary Delgado , a former NFL cheerleader and winner of The Bachelor in 2004, is out of jail after being arrested in a southwest border-town bar for unruly behavior. Drama! [AP]
• Cheech and Chong: Gonna get roasted. Not baked, roasted! [UPI]
• A poem handwritten by Sir Paul McCartney for his friend Spike Milligan is to be sold at auction next week. It's called "The Poet Of Dumbswoman Lane." [Telegraph]
• Five year old Beatrice McCartney is on her dad's new track, a Sir Paul ditty called "Two Magpies." [Mirror]
• Bogota, Colombia hearts Duran Duran. [Guardian]
• "'Climb every Mountain' is a beautiful statement of philosophy. Critics may think The Sound of Music is saccharine, but I think it's profound." — Jon Voight. [MSNBC]
• "I've gotten more stylish since I've been with my husband. I was always making fun of him because he has so many leather coats, jackets and shoes. But he looks hot. I want to look good for him. So I kind of stepped it up a bit." — Heidi Klum in In Style. [People]
• "There's no smoking. The lights never go out, 24/7. You can't cover anything. You can't even put your head under a blanket. All the cells have cameras in them. I was told, you know, 'You'll have your own cell.' But I didn't for the first two or three weeks; I had a cell mate. He got out – but not for long. He came back in pretty quick." — Keifer Sutherland on his stint in jail, in Men's Vogue. [People]
• "Pete and I laugh about it. We can’t win. If we’re smiling for the cameras they say we’re setting it up to gloss over the cracks. If we’re not together they think we’ve split up." — Katie "Jordan" Price on the breakup rumors about her and husband Peter Andre. [Daily Mail]
• "Yes, I have solar panels and all that sort of stuff. However, the more I learn about the subject matter, I also realise that people find it patronizing. They feel like they're being told what to do when somebody like me talks about the fact I have solar panels. Not everybody can get solar panels and not everyone can drive a hybrid car. It's not about blame or telling people how to live, it's just about saying, 'Let's all be aware of these issues.'" — Leonardo DiCaprio. [Daily Express]
• "In terms of my future as an actor and stuff, I don't know. I am in a place in my life where... I've had some great opportunities and I may just choose to have some more children. I've no idea what is in my future but I am very at peace with where I want to be. There are many things I want to do besides act." — Nicole Kidman. [Reuters]
• "Sometimes I lie in bed and I'm like, 'Oh my god, there's Seal lying next to me. What's he doing there?' I get a smile on my face immediately. Our honeymoon period is definitely not over." — Heidi Klum in In Style. [People]
• "We feed the chickens and the pigs — I have two pigs, and boy are they really pigs. They just get down in that mud and roll around. I like getting down in there and working in the garden. Oh, I want someone to build me a good chicken coop… like a man who can just get down there and build it…ooh." — Reese Witherspoon, on taking her kids to her farm outside of L.A. [USA Today]

Dean Winters
Role on Sex: Carrie's fuck buddy John McFadden. After her second massive break from big, Carrie attempts to make her fuck buddy John into a real boyfriend. This attempt fails miserably.
Where Is He Now: Since his hard time in Carrie, Dean Winters moved on to greener pastures: he has a recurring role as Liz Lemon's hilariously deadbeat boyfriend on 30 Rock, Dennis "the beeper king" Duffy. He also has a recurring role on Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.

John Slattery
Role on Sex: Bill Kelley, an up-and-coming politician and total silver fox. His relationship with Carrie fizzles because he's obsessed with golden showers.
Where Is He Now: As silvery and foxy as ever, John plays slimy-yet-handsome ad exec Roger Sterling. He also had a recurring role on Desperate Housewives, but our hearts belong to Roger.

David Duchovny
Role on Sex: Carrie's erstwhile high school boyfriend Jeremy. He lives in Denver, but has taken a trip out East so he can go to a mental institution. His relationship with Carrie is a no-go because of his mental fragility, but that did not preclude them from knocking the boots a couple times.
Where Is He Now: We all know that David stars as a sex addict on the acclaimed Showtime dramedy Californication and also in his actual life. He was already a bona fide TV star before his time on Sex, but perhaps his time in Carrie-land inspired him to take the more emotionally complex role of Hank Moody on Californication.

Craig Bierko
Role on Sex: Creepy jazz-obsessed Ray King. Things do not work out with Carrie because he can barely hold a conversation that doesn't involve music.
Where Is He Now: earlier this year, Craig starred in a Fox sitcom called Unhitched with Rashida Jones. He played Jack 'Gator' Gately, a 35-year-old who recently divorced his college sweetheart. He is back in the dating scene and totally clueless. Even though it was produced by There's Something About Mary scribes Bobby and Peter Farrelly, the show was canceled after six episodes. However, we know that Carrie holds a leprauchan-ish pot of gold between those gams of hers, so we have high hopes that Craig's TV career will rebound in the near future!

[Us, MediaWeek, People]

The Good:
From that first Vera Wang at the Oscars, Amy Adams has never been afraid to do romantic.
I've liked Christine Taylor since Hey Dude. She looks darling. Good story, huh?


The Meh:
Tobey Maguire's main squeeze Jennifer Meyer is rocking a good shape, but I can't help finding the print a tad bit Fauvist nightmare.
Alicia Silverstone's dress isn't awful but it's not terribly engaging, and while I get that the belt's supposed to add interest, it also adds fug.
Is that a leather bodice? Yes, it's a leather bodice.
I actually think Laura Ramsey could have pulled off this Lisa Frank print if she'd obeyed the Fingertip Rule, but without it there's just a gravitas deficit.


The Bad:
Maria Menounos is kind of channeling futuristic cocktail in this harsh frock.
I am so friggin sick of having to explain to people like Justin Theroux that they are not members of the Rat Pack, nor mid-century jazz musicians, nor in 1997 or whenever Swingers came out, and as such have no business wearing pork-pie hats, the uniform of The Ass.
I guess if the Picasso breast is what you're aiming for, the stunning Rashida Jones has achieved it.



The Ugly:
Obviously Jena Malone's hair is for a role, right? But the combat boots? Unless she's getting method for the role of a 1993 middle-schooler (plausible I guess) this is just not on.

{Images via Getty]

• Gavin Rossdale says he and Gwen Stefani are not going paint the unborn baby's room pink or blue: They're going to paint it black. Goth bébé, aww. [E!]
• John Mayer looooves to fuck with us. That's why he let himself be photographed carrying a "prescription bag" with a note that read "Experimental Human Growth Hormones, 2x daily." Haha, yeah, we know, The Hulk comes out today. Calm down. [E!]
• Even if you could not care less about John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston, they do "look good together," and I hate when people say that. But it's true. Look at them. [ET]
• Is everything OK between Sam Ronson and Lindsay Lohan? Instead of really DJing a party she was hired to spin, Sam was "uneasy and jittery," a spy says. "All she did was pop in CDs and spent much of the night outside on the phone, texting and chain-smoking." [Rush & Molloy]
• Marcia Cross was in a minor car accident yesterday, but "everyone is fine." [ET]
• Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson? Back together? Head. Exploding. [E!]
• Supermodel Adriana Lima is engaged! The lucky dude is basketball player Marko Jaric; they've been dating for nine months. Freakishly tall and attractive kids to come? [People]

• Rumor! Rashida Jones! Office spinoff! Rumor! [E!]
• Jon Voight as a villain on 24? That's good casting. [Just Jared]
• Colombia's foreign minister is upset by the lyrics in Carla Bruni's song, the one that goes: "You are my drug / More deadly than Afghan heroin / More dangerous than white Colombian." Uh, well, as this paper notes: "Colombia produces more than 80% of the world's cocaine." Ha! [Daily Express]
• The eight-man, four-woman jury rewatched the sex tape before beginning deliberations in the R. Kelly child porn trial yesterday. What do we think? Will they find him guilty? [E!]
• Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon may cancel their lavish $2 million wedding because no one wants to pay for pictures of the event? Tragic! For them. We consider ourselves lucky. [ONTD, via PopCrunch]
• Heidi Montag: Seen wearing a T-shirt that reads, "I want more privacy." Hahaha, fuck you. [ONTD]
• OMG they're making a new Witch Mountain movie? Mine my childhood some more, why don't you. [ET]
• It's tough to explain why I love these pictures of Naomi Campbell drunkenly passing out on the street. [The Sun]
• Naomi Campbell as a bridesmaid? Boggles the mind. [Page Six]
• A battle of the biceps involving Mario Lopez and his A Chorus Line co-star? The end result being that the co-star got a 2(x)ist underwear ad? It's too early for this. [Page Six]
• Someone swiped a $15,000 suitcase full of "bling" from a Russell Simmons Jewelry employee. Isn't Russ into like, yoga and meditation, not huge rocks? [Page Six]
• Director Guillermo del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth) will never do rom coms. "Sleepless in Seattle can go fuck itself," he says. "Monsters are the most beautiful creatures in the universe. I have no interest in everyday life, except through a twisted mirror." [Page Six]
• Little Coco Arquette: Seen wearing long blond wig and "vamping it up" at a Hollywood hot spot. Apparently she "kept asking her dad to braid her 'hair,' and every time she came through the dining room, she had a new hairstyle." She turns 4 today, but that kid gets Hollywood. [Page Six]
• Is Elizabeth Hurley inspiration for a bitchy character in Ann Leary's new book? Ann is Denis Leary's wife, and Outtakes From A Marriage features a movie star who has a perfect bod and "only dates billionaires." [Rush & Molloy]
• Madonna's brother says that her husband, Guy Ritchie, is uncomfortable around "queens." A source confirms: "Guy is a homophobe. At their wedding, Chris made a joke about Guy being gay. That set the tone for their relationship." Seriously? Would Madge put up with that? [Rush & Molloy]
• Some dude is trying to sue Jay-Z for $88 million because Jay allegedly "stole" the technique of "whisper rapping" from him. 99 problems and a troll ain't one. [People]
• Taylor Hicks is a Jonas Brothers fan. [People]
• Nancy O'Dell's mom died. [People]
• Jennifer Lopez met with Barack Obama's staff. WTF. I may weep. [People]
• Zac Efron stinks. Literally. [Star]

[Los Angeles, June 5. Image via Splash.]