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New York, 10:14 AM
Sat Nov 21
67 posts in the last 24 hours
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11/20/09
Literally within the last hour I told a friend of mine, only semi-jokingly, that I tolerate more creepster-level flirtation from guys I find hot than from guys I don't.
And I wonder if in some ways that makes me complicit in our societal acceptance of this kind of behavior toward women.
On the other hand, no one seems cute when he's intimidating me and using his power to assert his control over me and my body. So it's also possible that perception of a guy as attractive hinges on my feeling okay being around him, and not being threatened by it.
On the other other hand, sometimes the element of danger is itself attractive. So what are our responsibilities, as individuals and as a society, to solve these problems and to address these problematic (but complicated and possibly not always completely untrue) assumptions?
11/20/09
I don't know exactly what you mean by "creepster-level flirtation from [hot] guys" Isn't it the part where they try to push past our discomfort what makes their behavior creepy?
At any rate, I think the responsibility rests on men to respect and not objectify or attack us since they have more physical and social power. I don't think you're at fault for perpetuating rapey behaviors.
11/20/09
I watched all the videos, and the hip hop stuff really struck a chord with me. I've been a fan since I was a teenager, and will remain a fan, but this really reminds me how important it is to pay attention to the attitudes reflected in the music I listen to. When I was in high school, everyone was listening to Snoop. The girls I knew (myself included) liked it as much as the boys, but I remember feeling really uncomfortable hearing my boyfriend and male friends singing along to things like "Bitches ain't shit but hos and tricks." You can like the beats and the style, but you can't ignore the message. And that message is really insidious to young women.
This is not an indictment of all the positive hip hop out there, which gives you beats and style without a heavy dose of misogyny. But it does remind me to listen a little harder.
11/20/09
If you'd like to read more, the program is going into high schools next year, with a $2 million CDC grant to back it. The grant will allow investigators to actually establish the efficacy of the program in creating attitude change and reducing acts of violence:
[uknow.uky.edu]
and
[www.newswise.com]
11/20/09
/creeper
11/20/09
11/20/09
11/20/09
A quick google scholar search of John D. Foubert brought up 950 articles. This one seems to give a pretty good overview of what these programs aim to do and why they focus on some groups more than others. [publications.naspa.org]
These are programs people make money off of, but them seem pretty solid. Most college speakers make money anyway.
I can't find a link to his program, but I did find this one [www.jacksonkatz.com] for people who want to check out the training.
11/20/09
11/20/09
11/20/09
In fact, the woman who did the assault talk spent fifteen minutes talking about which over the counter medications could be used like a roofie (she specifically talked about NyQuil). Then the next presenter was from the health center, and he handed out a baggie of sample medications... including NyQuil. ...and the whole back row of frat boys high fived.
11/20/09
of course women should take measures to protect their own safety, but this type of approach seems like victim blaming before the woman is made to be a victim.
11/20/09
11/20/09
11/20/09
11/10/09
11/10/09
Thank you, Mr. Lisak. You have just summed up what is bullshit about everyone who ever makes an excuse as to why a woman got raped that doesn't include the words, "Because she was attacked by a rapist." #rapekits
11/10/09
11/10/09
10/08/09
The guy is not in any of those situations, I mean, what the hell! There's nothing to argue here!
10/06/09
10/06/09
I think in regards to Pete, its harder to see someone who essentially we look at with no power - and I mean on the show - as capable of wielding power. I am still not sure if this was rape, mainly because we didn't see the rest of the scene. While it was coerced, I dont think it had anything to do with her fear of being deported or losing her job, but was more b/c of her and most woman's fear of not being nice. Pete, looking like a little child, had gone out of his way to help her, even providing proof of his mistakes to Joan, and yet she didnt want to properly "thank him"? How rude. I think this had more to do with the inability for many women to clearly express what they want or dont want. She was crying the next day, maybe from guilt, maybe from pain, who knows. I find it important that not matter what actually occurred, rape or not, that Pete recognized whatever it was was in deed wrong, and not because he got caught cheating, but because he was caught hurting someone. I just find it hard to declare this as rape, because essentially we are saying that the only woman who has had consensual sex on this show is Betty at this point, b/c if this was rape, how was Peggy's not?