Rants - Jezebel

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In Unison
Senior Year: A ~~Rant~~ Appeal
Sing It, Sister: Why I Hate Glee
"Trash The Dress": The Choice Of The Rebel Bride
Hollywood, Please Stop Inviting Us To Your Weddings
Oh, Just Shut Up About The Cankles Already
Jon And Kate Plus Nobody
Shut Up, Special K
How Social Conservatives Are Ruining Marriage
The Sarcastic, Pointed 'You're Welcome': A Doormat's Nightmare

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Katxyz
10/22/09

In reply to In Unison
Surely someone in this world agrees with me that that Journey cover is awful and the girl singing it oversings horribly. #glee
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la vie en hypnose
10/22/09

@Katxyz: *Raises hand proudly*

But then I really don't like any of the Glee covers save for their rendition of Jill Scott's song. Something about the singing seems off and retouched. #glee
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Hiroine Protagonist
10/22/09

In reply to In Unison
Rachel and mohawk guy NOT having sex left me feeling extremely frustrated. The whole "why can't you date a Jew" thing was comedy freaking gold! And Sweet Caroline? God damn. Dude is HOT. #glee
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Zombie Ms. Skittles
10/22/09

@Hiroine Protagonist: I KNOW! I was all, "No, Rachel, you friggin' MARRY PUCK!!! I DON'T CARE if he's a jerk!!"

I'd also have liked if they'd at the end just said, "screw it, let's keep at it to try to make them jealous!" or some shit.

#glee
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Spaceman Bill Leah
10/22/09

In reply to In Unison
Dinging Glee for Mr. Schue not noticing his wife's fake pregnancy or wondering why no one gets punished for the slushies is as pointless as complaining about the plot holes in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. #glee
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pantsless economist...access RESTORED
10/22/09

@Spaceman Bill Leah: Or like trying to find meaning in a Pauly Shore movie. #glee
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susanstohelit
10/22/09

In reply to In Unison
I don't think EW understands what a "cult" obsession is. Cult obsessions do not have top-selling songs on iTunes or have their ads slapped on every bus stop or sing the National Anthem at a World Series game or feature on the cover of a major entertainment mag. Glee is a slickly produced and expertly marketed tv show which, although it has the novelty of musical numbers and can frequently be entertaining, is a deeply flawed piece of television. Also, for an ensemble show, it pisses me the fuck off that the cover (and all the photo shoot pics on EW's website - oh and the goddamn show itself) feature the pretty straight white characters. The non-straight, non-white, non-able bodied characters should not be window-dressing, y'all. #glee
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TurtleWexlerKickedMe
10/22/09

In reply to In Unison
Here's the thing about any and every single television show or movie:

You have to accept the premises of the show in order to enjoy it.

Do I think vampire slayers (or vampires) exist? No, but I go with it, and as a result I enjoy The Vampire Diaries and Buffy. Did I really think souvenirs in a Niagara Falls tourist trap can come to life? No, but damn if Wonderfalls isn't one of my favorite shows. It's okay to go with the premise of a show.

That's why it's also okay that the kids in the Glee club automatically know the dance steps and can play electric guitar without it being plugged in. Because I'm agreeing to the premises of the show. #glee
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futuremouse
10/22/09

In reply to In Unison
God I love this show. Sue Silvester is a comedy goldmine. #glee
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divinelioness
10/22/09

@futuremouse: I'm sure that's how she "C's" it too... :D #glee
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boobookitteh
10/22/09

In reply to In Unison
mmmm. It's growing on me. Last night's scene of Noah and his family doing their shabbas ritual of watching Schindler's List while eating sweet and sour pork is definitely helping me come over to the dark side. #glee
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angryblackgurl
10/22/09

In reply to In Unison
In this dreary world of NYC Publishing with magazine's folding, newspapers cutting more staffers, perma-freelance careers(no benefits), not one ad on InaNet to even apply for, watching "Glee" makes me happy!! I am not looking for Oscar worthy TV...I just want to smile...it does that...so you "Glee" hater's turn the channel!! #glee
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tangodiva
10/22/09

@angryblackgurl: I concur! I don't have to wallow in misery if I get to see Jane Lynch in a Zoot suit. Who cares if the show isn't perfect? THAT is. #glee
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angryblackgurl
10/22/09

@tangodiva: Perfection is overrated and boring...we all have flaws!!

Love that Jane!! #glee
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zoethebitch
10/22/09

In reply to In Unison
Waiting to see what, if any, stunt-casting they do for sweeps.

Barbra Streisand as Rachel's mother? I would explode.

Can always dream..... #glee
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TheGuvnah
10/22/09

@zoethebitch: No way!! I want Idina as her mom!! #glee
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mommy_dearest
10/22/09

@TheGuvnah: I keep thinking she has to come on! They look alike, don't they? #glee
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Hazel
10/22/09

@zoethebitch: Rachel doesn't have a mom. She has two dads. #glee
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mommy_dearest
10/22/09

@Hazel: Maybe she can be an aunt instead. I forgot about the two dads. #glee
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morninggloria
10/22/09

@Hazel: Yes, but they screened potential egg donors beforehand. I'd love to meet her biological mom. And I want that mom to turn out to be Idina Menzel. #glee
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zoethebitch
10/22/09

@Hazel: I didn't know the two dads history. Was that in the pilot? #glee
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voteforme
10/22/09

In reply to In Unison
I get the idea that people endure the half-assed plot lines in order to hear good performances of kitschy songs. Am I wrong? #glee
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tinydundie42
10/22/09

@voteforme: You are not wrong. That, and Jane Lynch. I will sit through almost anything to watch her. #glee
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AndPreciousLittleofThat
10/22/09

In reply to In Unison
I do love this show, but there seems to be a moment during some of the musical numbers where I just can't suspend my disbelief any more.

I mean, it's one thing for a kid to be playing an electric bass that isn't plugged in; it's quite another for a whole musical (with complicated dance steps, no less) to just appear fully formed. I guess I'd like to see more of the "making of" the numbers. #glee
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morninggloria
10/22/09

@AndPreciousLittleofThat: I was thinking the other week that those Glee kids are the best sight readers I've ever seen. #glee
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susanstohelit
10/22/09

@AndPreciousLittleofThat: Yeah I agree with you - it totally pulls me out of the scene. It's one thing to have perfectly choreographed numbers during one of the fantasy sequences or during one of the actual performances, but when they're supposedly "rehearsing" (aka just got the damn song 30 seconds ago), it strains my credulity that they would just suddenly know the songs/dance steps. I get that it's not meant to be a realistic show, but this is totally dumb. #glee
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TurtleWexlerKickedMe
10/22/09

@susanstohelit: But...how else would they shoot it? I'd rather see a choreographed routine than them just sitting around and learning lyrics. So there's not really another option, is there?

I ask this seriously, because a lot of people complain about it. What would you rather have them do?! #glee
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susanstohelit
10/22/09

@BB: I agree that it'd be boring to just watch them sitting around learning lyrics. So what if they shot it while they were rehearsing but after they'd initially learned the steps (they've done this in some episodes, I believe)? What irks me the most is when Will gives them the lyrics for the first time, they give them a glance, toss the pages in the air, and immediately bust into a professional routine. #glee
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AndPreciousLittleofThat
10/22/09

@BB: Well, the male lead is a teacher. Why not show him teaching? When I see highschoolers (!!) doing a perfectly synchronized Electric Slide, it's hard for me to drown out the loud buzz of my Bullshit Detector.

In all honesty, the scenes which sell it for me are the scenes without the whole club together, and just two or three kids singing. #glee
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TurtleWexlerKickedMe
10/22/09

@susanstohelit: I guess I'm just willing to overlook things like that. It's all part of buying into the premise of the show like I talk about above. #glee
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I believe in peace, bitch
10/22/09

In reply to In Unison
The writing is so trite it makes me cringe. But I keep watching it hoping for good musical numbers. Last night's episode was disappointing.

Why is it that we are so polarized over things like Glee, or Twilight, or Sex and the City? You don't see us on here getting defensive over the new Phillip Roth. There are no fan girls for Joyce Carol Oates, carrying around her books and mad hate for Alice Hoffman. I don't get all hot and bothered if someone tells me they couldn't stand 'The Road'. Why is it that we get so worked up over pop culture--light entertainment? #glee
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Ipomoea
10/22/09

@I believe in peace, bitch: I couldn't stand 'The Road' (yet I read it in one sitting), and I'll cut someone over Sherman Alexie.

I know I get passionate about books as well as TV/movies, but for a lot of people, it seems like books are less appealing/engaging because you have to work to visualize what's happening, which might be unappealing to a more visually-oriented person. #glee
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I believe in peace, bitch
10/22/09

@Ipomoea: I don't think that books are less engaging--not to everyone. I think people are more likely to get defensive over something they feel a sense of ownership for. I get passionate about a book, but if someone tells me they don't like it, I don't feel the need to show them how wrong they are. We accept that everyone has different tastes when it comes to literature. But with pop-culture, we feel a need to label it 'good' or 'bad', and get angry with those who chose a different labe than we did.There's less room for differences of opinion.

Also-- YOU DON'T LIKE THE ROAD OMG WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU YOU FASCIST!!! #glee
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
10/22/09

@I believe in peace, bitch: "There are no fan girls for Joyce Carol Oates, carrying around her books and mad hate for Alice Hoffman. "
You have to go to Princeton to get those.
(Also, then, I believe the mad hate is for Toni Morrison.) #glee
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Chamalla,barren crone
10/22/09

In reply to In Unison
I don't care if any other person on the planet likes Glee. I love it, and haven't had this much fun in front of my television since I discovered the dirty movies on Skinemax when I was a teenager. A different kind of fun, sure, but still loads of fun.

I know the comments are going to fill with folks talking about how crappy it is, but I wanted to get some love for this show in early. It's gotten consistently better with each episode, after a bit of a dip right after the pilot. It's different and it's fun, and I am all for anyone trying something new on TV.

To the detractors who say the minority kids are getting the short end of the script: Name any other show on prime time which has as diverse a cast.

Plus: Did you SEE the hawt mohawk'd football player singing Neil Freakin Diamond last night? My stars. #gleesquee
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sympathyforthebasementcat
10/22/09

@Chamalla,barren crone: Neil Diamond even tweeted about it!: [twitter.com] #glee
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dearestkatrina
10/22/09

In reply to In Unison
it was my birthday yesterday and I am CONVINCED it was Puck heavy show as a gift to me and my loins #glee
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lilyHaze
10/22/09

@dearestkatrina: Maybe it was a sign from the Good Lord that he wanted to get into your pants.

I am now officially on Team Puck. #glee
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Chamalla,barren crone
10/22/09

@dearestkatrina: I take extra showers every week to try and cleanse the dirty, delicious thoughts I have about Puck and Chuck Bass. #glee
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morninggloria
10/22/09

@dearestkatrina: I came into work today, and the first thing that anyone said to me was, "I bet you really liked Glee last night. All that Puck. He's perfect for you."

Um... thanks, casual acquaintence who just matched me with a fictional character. #glee
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mommy_dearest
10/22/09

@Chamalla,barren crone: Why wash it off? I would give anything to be one of Puck's MILFs. #glee
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morninggloria
10/22/09

In reply to In Unison
I loved the first episode, and I loved the Kristin Chenoweth episode, and I continue to watch every week, but any episode wherein Mr. Schuster raps and the kids are totes groovin' to it does not work for me. #glee
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Chamalla,barren crone
10/22/09

@morninggloria: I agree, but I think it's part of the fun? I remember cringing more than cheering during my own theater days in HS and college. Those moments on the show give me the exact same feeling as watching an endless stream of women audition with songs from Les Mis. The nostalgia, it's so sweet it burns. I think making the audience uncomfortable is an integral part of good satire, too. #glee
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