MOE: Hi.

MEGAN: Hey, at least one of us got to sleep in! Are you back in New York?

MOE: No I am not. I am on the couch of the gracious Rachel Baker of Boston Magazine again. I didn't get to sleep until about 3:30. In any case, I apologize for my tardiness. I will gladly allow you to garnish my wages, oh wait.

MEGAN: I'll be lucky if my wages aren't garnished by the end of the month, what with the election being over and no one caring anymore. Luckily, Sarah Palin is the scandal that keeps on giving. Quick! Name the countries in NAFTA!!

MOE: Quick! Pronounce all the high fashion designers who contributed to her brand new quarter million dollar wardrobe! Has she made plans to sell it on eBay yet?

MEGAN: Oh, hell, she doesn't even know! But the only name I've heard mentioned is Valentino. The rest have been, like, Tahari, Ann Taylor, Cole Haan. Even the Louis Vuitton bag is supposedly fake, which is sort of hilarious to have a candidate for Vice President of the United States carrying around a counterfeit knock-off bag. I mean, we bitch at the Chinese all the time (and I mean, ALL the time) about the prevalence of counterfeit goods in China and then our VP is carrying one. (Notably, NAFTA includes Mexico, Canada and the United States, though I'm sure you, at least, knew.)

MOE: I love how it was McCain's foreign policy adviser that gets fired for siding… with Palin. So…Cheneyesque, only if the president was the old dude a few dozen open heart surgeries away from holding onto the presidency, and his running mate was this young, spry, Machiavellian…total ignoramus!

MEGAN: Well, it's less that he "sided" with Palin and more that he was the one going around trashing Nicolle Wallace last week to suck up to her and help Palin shape the media narrative that none of this was her fault. Which, you would think the foreign policy adviser would be the most upset about his charge not knowing that Africa was a continent made up of many disparate countries, but everyone knows Randy Scheunemann doesn't care about Africa. They don't have the kind of money Georgia does, so he's not going to make a Presidential campaign dance to their tune.

MOE: Okay, two things: I actually do not believe it is possible she believed Africa was a country. As for Randy Scheunemann, any campaign that has good friends of William Kristol "shaping the media narrative" is a frankly unreliable narrator to say the least. Is it possible to reach the age of forty having never taken a sufficiently long look at a map? I just don't believe it, especially what with all her cosmopolitan travels around the warmer latitudes back in college.

MEGAN: I mean, let's just state the obvious: she was probably drunk then. But, also, this is the woman who reportedly sought to give her own concession speech before McCain's and had to be told that no such thing had happened in the history of Presidential concession-speech giving.

MOE: Well they're a team of mavericks. They're gonna disagree. No such thing as Sarah Palin had ever happened in the history of Presidential concession speech blah blah!

MEGAN: Well, he was a maverick. This is a quote from John Weaver, who's the guy Davis and Schmidt ousted to take over and run the campaign into the ground.

"If you had told me two years ago that John McCain would end his active national political life perceived by many as the candidate of the special interests tied to lobbyists; that many people considered his campaign dishonorable and focused on small things; that he wasn't seen as presidential and the right person to have in a crisis; and that the broad center in American politics had turned against him, I would have laughed in your face," said John Weaver, his longtime friend who resigned from the campaign in a power struggle last year.

"That's not who he is," Weaver said. "But that's the campaign that he chose."

Like, I don't think you'll get a more honest assessment from a guy that actually likes and believe in McCain — to this day — than that. But, really, the money quote is this:

"The Palin pick was a base pick in a non-base election," Weaver said. "In this media world that we live in, you can't take someone who has not had any exposure, who had not had any vetting, public and private, and strap her to a rocket."

Really? We can't? Could we, um, maybe try?

MOE: Well Mark McKinnon pointed out a few weeks back that running a campaign sucks, and that it's the easy thing to blame or whatever. I mean, duh, his campaign was insane and inane, both of which, as Olbermann won't let you forget, rhyme among other things with "membrane," which leads me to observe (how could it not) that such things need tough skins to sail through unscathed, and a thin permeable membrane that makes visible all the discord beneath the surface, which John McCain never had in his broke talk express days, is always a bad sign.

MEGAN: And now I have a mental vision of the McCain campaign as a baby calf, crying inside its cowl after having been deposited, bloody and foul, onto the barn room floor. I watch way too much Animal Planet.

MOE: Yeah I was actually trying to hint at a partial birth abortion reference, albeit counterintuitively considering seventy two is way past the "viable" age for making it outside the womb, as this old guy with a cane in Pennsylvania just reminded us when he took out his rage re: Obama on two poor guys who most likely were not even black. Pennsylvania has really had the best election violence.

MEGAN: Oh, there is plenty of fun verbal hyperbole around, too.

MOE: Ha ha old coot took out his rage on the BLIGHT brothers. Can that possibly be real? Also, Jose Antonio Ortiz totally voted for Obama. Heal the Animal Planet, and the continent of Earth too.

MEGAN: Also, I love that they were in Pizzle's Bar. That is an awesome dive bar name.

MOE: So, where is Jeremiah Wright in all this? On vacation somewhere exotic like Australasia??

MEGAN: Well, if the right wing crazies are to be believed, he's probably holed up with Obama plotting revenge. In reality, I believe he's writing his memoirs and staying out of the press, probably trying to avoid more death threats. So, what do you think of the whole Rahm as Chief of Staff thing? Because I'm sort of with Michelle Cottle on this, in that it seems a strange move for Rahm except for one thing. And that thing is the next gubernatorial race in Illinois.

MOE: So I think this all bodes well for Shep Smith continuing to "go rogue". I haven't watched Fox since Tuesday — when in liberal Massachusetts, etc. — but I relished "it just gets frightening sometimes" so much I can't wait to get home and switch it on! As for Rahm, I don't know him but I would say, there is probably nothing more attractive than the job you have had once and loved but know you could do an immeasurably more effective job at doing now that you're ten years older etc. etc. He seems like he has a big ego, but I chalk a lot of that up to partisan rage built up over twelve years of GOP leadership in the House. It's in the culture.

MEGAN: No, he has an enormous ego. That's not, from me, a criticism, but he is a politician. He doesn't, by any means, have the largest one on the Hill, but he's definitely top 100 and I'd bet he'd admit it. On Shep, let's also not forget his outrage at Ralph Nader yesterday.

MOE: Oh, wow. Cunts are still running Public Citizen I guess. To think I voted for that guy.

MEGAN: I love when Shep gets outraged, I'll admit it. When I was in Denver and St. Paul, I tried to get the Fox people to hook me up with Shep instead of Bill Hemmer, but he wasn't there. Last week, Jon Stewart called Shep's show "Studio Bee-yotch" after the Joe The Motherfucking Plumber thing and I was like, he's my Studio Beyotch, Jon!

MOE: Here's all I want to know from you: Treasury Secretary ... who is?? Creed and I have elaborate Anderson Cooper Shep Smith Katrina fantasy involving Prada life vests, just throwing that out there.

MEGAN: I know, I'm such a fruit fly, these are things I've just accepted about myself. Anyway, on Treasury Secretary, Politico had their speculative short list last week.

Treasury secretary: Former Clinton treasury secretaries Larry Summers and Robert Rubin; FDIC Chairwoman Sheila C. Bair; New York Fed President Timothy Geithner, former Treasury under secretary and assistant secretary; former Federal Reserve chairman Paul Volcker

My money's on Volcker, for obvious reasons.

MOE: Yeah yeah yeah but there's been no narrowing since then? I'm rooting for Bair, if only because I know the S&P 500 will not like it if she's announced, because she is a chick, and wants to keep people in their houses. And the market will be right, there is really nothing to be "confident" about and they might as well not rally, but Bair will be right because keeping as many people in their houses as possible is the most economically sound thing to do, even if it is not glamorous work you can solve with some fancy "model. Whoa, Governator one of two on the short list for energy secretary? Does he take that job? WTF

MEGAN: I think that's someone's idea of a joke. And, no, I don't think Schwarzenegger gets it. The Republicans that get appointments — if any — won't be vociferous McCain supporters.
MOE: Also wtf is a "Press staff morale chief"?

MEGAN: Well, none of those people appear, at least from what I've read, to be on the transition team or the advisory board, which tradition holds don't end up in appointments, so no narrowing yet I think. I can't see Summers getting it.

MOE: Hahaha what you get when you google Tommy Vietor, the shoe-in for press staff morale chief: some 2005 exchange wherein Vietor assures a reporter Obama is also pro-puppy, for the record. Foreshadowing!

MEGAN: Who among us wants them to adopt a mutt from a local Humane Society? None of this fancy-shmancy breed crap, not even if it's a rescue. I want a straight-up shelter dog.

MOE: Whatever, I don't care, as long as they don't give the fucking thing a book contract. Though I would like to know why the Bushes have a dog named "Barney."

MEGAN: "Barney" is kind of a good dog name. I personally question the wisdom of "Mrs. Beasley".

• Sarah Palin feels the press should be forced to report about her in a certain way to avoid abridging her First Amendment rights. Add the actual First Amendment to Article I, Section 3 of the Constitution on the list of Constitutional amendments Sarah Palin is planning when she is Empress of America. [Huffington Post, U.S. Constitution]
• If you needed any other reasons to vote against McCain-Palin, Politico's list of Cabinet officials should help. It's got Dick Armitage for Secretary of State, Lindsay Graham for Secretary of Defense, Rudy Giuliani for Attorney General (!) and Randy "Biggest Asshole In the Universe" Scheunemann as National Security Advisor. And you thoughT Palin was a bad pick. [Politico]
• By contrast, their list of potential Administration officials for Obama reads like a liberal's wet dream. [Politico]
• Hey, while you weren't looking, Bush has been sneaking around trying to push controversial deregulation to "ease" consumer and environmental protections. Fuck. [Washington Post]

• Former Reagan Chief of Staff-turned-lobbyist Ken Duberstein jumped on the Hope train, citing Colin Powell's endorsement and the fact that "Even at McDonalds, you're interviewed three times before you're given a job." as his reasons. Oh, snap. [Politico]
• Larry Eagleburger today got a first hand experience with what McCain doesn't consider torture after saying that Palin would only be "adequate" if she had to play President. His balls will be returned to him shortly by Mark Salter, but his self-respect, well, that ain't ever coming back. [Talking Points Memo]
• Republican Senator Saxby Chambliss — who proved in 2002 that he never had any when he attacked decorated Vietnam veteran and multiple amputee, Senator Max Cleland, for lacking in patriotism — told a group of predominately white voters that they had to get to the polls because "The other folks are voting." Oh, and he didn't even try to pretend he wasn't talking about his African-American constituents, either, not that he probably considers them that. [Huffington Post]
• In other batshit crazy Republican news, Alaska Senator Ted Stevens, recent convicted of 7 felony charges stemming from gifts he accepted, went home to Alaska and told everyone he wasn't convicted. Um, I think they have the news up there, Ted. Sarah Palin said so. Looks like someone is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. [Politico]
• Oh, and Senator Liddy Dole's got a new ad attacking oppOnent Kay Hagan's supposed godlessness. I'm guessing she won't be getting a job running a non-partisan, non-profit charity when she hopefully loses. [Firedoglake]

MEGAN: Quick! Name a publication you read regularly!

KAY: Wait, wait, I know this answer: "All of them!"

MEGAN: Alaska is a microcosm of America, dontcha know, they get the news up there, as such! (Except in the one part of Alaska that can see Russia, they don't really get the TV signals.)

KAY: Also I love this one: "Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me all these years."

MEGAN: Well, at least that totally explains why she was reading John Birch Society claptrap.

KAY: I mean, I've had interns answer this question better than Sarah Palin did.

MEGAN: Ooh, is that a question you ask in an interview? That's a good one. Has anyone ever said, like, Maxim or Playboy? Because that's what my ex in college subscribed to, if he was being honest.

KAY: I think the trick is to answer that question with the publications you should read even if you don't actually. For instance, Palin was the governor of Alaska. Shouldn't she, um, list an Alaska newspaper?

MEGAN: You mean, like, the Mat-Su Frontiersman, to which she just also gave an "interview" via e-mail? Don't worry, you don't have to read it, it's basically just the same talking points her staff normally has her parrot!

KAY: Well, supposedly she's saving herself for local media on the campaign trail ... except she's not really on the campaign trail either.

MEGAN: She's in Arizona, debating Randy Scheunemann... McCain's foreign policy adviser! Do you think they're debating the merits of the bailout?

KAY: Maybe she's trying to convince them that she knows the economic pain and suffering of Real America (TM) in this financial crisis like she did in that interview with crazy-right wing radio host Hugh Hewitt.

MEGAN: The first time I looked at that, by the way, I totally saw "Hugh Hefner" and my brain kind of exploded.

KAY: HA. Maybe she and your college boyfriend read the same literature and that's why she didn't have an answer to Couric's question. In any case, the Washington Times reported that she and her husband had a combined household income of nearly a quarter million dollars.

MEGAN: Dayum, that's some bank for a seasonal worker and a government employee. Do fish in Alaska shit gold bullion?

KAY: Apparently. They also own "owns a 320-series Piper single-engine airplane and two boats, a 22-foot Pacific Skiff fishing boat and a 22-foot homemade aluminum fishing boat. He also owns two Bombardier personal watercraft, valued at about $7,000." Do you think Real Americans (TM) have planes and boats?

MEGAN: Okay, maybe this makes me not a real America, but how does one go about making a 22 foot aluminum fishing boat at home? Is there, like, a Wasilla community smelter?

KAY: Maybe Todd's smelting in secret.

MEGAN: With his copy of Playboy!

KAY: My favorite part though is they have five properties valued at hundreds of thousands of dollars each and they paid $7,662 in property taxes last year. I think those are the tax cuts for the wealthy at work.

MEGAN: Holy shit, that's amazing. I mean, okay , I'll give that maybe a family of 7 living in Manhattan, $250,000 and a half-million dollar home might be looking at an average level of disposable income after food and whatever.

KAY: Right, but Alaska ain't no Manhattan!

MEGAN: I know! It's not like Wasilla is some accessible-only-by-copter town where shit is flown in — although Kodiak was expensive, it wasn't as pricey as New York City. Like, my folks, in upstate NY: until my dad retired, 2 state incomes (since my mom went back to work after my sister went to college), one home, two cars. Their one house in upstate New York doesn't sit on a scenic lake or anything, but I don't think the view is why it isn't worth $500,000. And they don't make $250,000 a year. Or have "personal watercraft." I think my dad has a 2 seater miniature sailboat (a Sunfish?) that he keeps in the rafters of the garage and has owned since I was a kid.

KAY: I'm from Minnesota, which is probably a lot more comparable cost of living to Alaska, and if you have a half a million dollar home, you are well off.

MEGAN: Dude, if you have that kind of property here, you are living high on the motherfucking hog.

KAY: With lipstick?

MEGAN: We're talking the most expensive lipstick sold in Sephora.

MEGAN: You know, it's only Tuesday and already I am really, really tired.

ASMA: Hey. I was wondering where you were!

MEGAN: Curled up under the covers having fallen back asleep despite no less than 3 alarms because I was tired and had the AC on too high!

ASMA: Ha ha.

MEGAN: Anyway, so, the RNC: far more protest-licious.

ASMA: Yeah, cool! I heart protest.

MEGAN: I heart protests, as long as they don't gas me at the same time.

ASMA: Did you get gassed?

MEGAN: No, but a friend of mine was leaving the convention center yesterday and saw it, so he barely avoided it, too.

ASMA: Whoa!

MEGAN: Tear gas is not a smart weapon... Anyway, so, what's been your experience so far?

ASMA: Denver was definitely mild protest-wise. I was kind of of disappointed actually. I wondered if it meant that the protestors were actually somewhat content with Obama being the candidate and thought that he would do his best.

MEGAN: I think it probably had more to do with the fact that they all came here on Wednesday because the protest organizers and leaders were all, "Leave if you plan to commit violence." In fact, Jello Biafra told the crowd last week in the Iraq protest to leave if they were drunk.

strong>ASMA: Well, I only just reached here last night. I then rushed off to do an interview. The funny thing is that everyone is all spread out between Minneapolis and St. Paul and everywhere in between. It's a bifurcated convention, with the actual convention being in downtown St. Paul and many of the events being in downtown Minneapolis. I did have a ticket to the Smashmouth concert but had to take an interview instead. So I missed it. But I am already in the throes of convention scheduling madness, with a blog due yesterday (still trying to get to it) and also a full day of events all over the place.

MEGAN: Ooh, I made it to the concert, though! There was a lot of white man overbite! Also, I met the biggest and least gracious Republican of all time.

ASMA: Who was that? Hulk Hogan?

MEGAN: So, Bill Kristol: totally gracious about having his picture taken. Rudy Giuliani: completely nice to my friend in an Obama hat. But you know who is too good for all that? Randy Scheunemann, McCain's foreign policy adviser and a huge dickhead.

ASMA: Except for the Black Eyed Peas at the DNC, I am not really a fan of any of the bands performing at the Conventions. And the Black Eyed Peas were performing during Bill Clinton's speech. So I obviously went to Bill Clinton's speech over their concert.

MEGAN: He and his goontastic sidekick tried to get me booted for trying to take a picture of him. I was with a Republican lobbyist friend who recognized him, too, and he basically called us Obamabots and was like, we heard you Obama people got in. And I'm like, ummmm, I'm actually credentialed media. And he was like, I don't believe you, I'm called security. So, I am now making it my mission to tell everyone that he is an ungracious dick. It helps that we were in a public place at a party where I knew more people — including Fox News correspondents — than him.

ASMA: What? That's ridiculous! "Obamabots": kind of a funny term though. I give him credit for originality.

MEGAN: I would, only I've been using it since January.

ASMA: Oh! Okay, well never mind that. I do think there is some liberal media bias/bias towards Obama at play. But, all is fair in love and war. No need to kick people out of a public event! Also, he should be relaxed because, on foreign policy, his guy has more actual experience. Playing partisan distracts from that fact. Unless he is truly threatened by Obama's foreign policy theories, but he shouldn't be.

MEGAN: Also, I am who I said I was, so he couldn't get me "kicked out." And, even worse, so was my friend. He works for a company that doesn't even really support Democratic Congressional candidates. He was stunned. I know he's a huge McCain donor. I think Randy just assumed because I was a young woman and knew who he was because I follow foreign policy I couldn't be anything other than some rogue protester. Which is sad, because plenty of young woman follow foreign policy and vote Republican...

ASMA: He sounds like a goofball. I think he's paranoid that everyone is pro-Obama. The campaign needs to be more confident and focus on its own message, not trying to play catch up.

MEGAN: It's funny that he's paranoid about that... at the Republican convention.

ASMA: My big convention news is that I was so thrilled that, the week before the conventions, I had my inbox down to 150 e-mails. Now, guess what, 250.

MEGAN: Good luck with that. My Blackberry has 1,141 unread messages.

ASMA: Yes, he should just relax. This is their time to show what they stand for and not being paranoid. And if an Obamabot wants to come to an RNC event, that's great. I am a registered Republican and attending the DNC was good for me. It really exposed me to some of the good ideas the DNC has and, actually, more compelling, the community feeling that Obama supporters have. I liked that. The RNC should be open arms to Obamabots.

MEGAN: I think that he and his goon actually enjoyed being dicks to someone figuring there would be no consequences for them. I mean, really, if Bill Kristol can be gracious and shake my hand and pose for a picture...

ASMA: Well, Bill Kristol knows that he has to appear to be neutral, even though we know he is horribly biased too. But he at least tries to appear fair. So he had to shake your hand!
I am just reading a ticker saying that the President may speak at the Convention still. Bad news, kind of!

MEGAN: No way! Oh my God, the next 3 days are going to be so horribly long!

ASMA: Yes, it will be a busy convention. I think you are having Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from the DNC! It'll be interesting to see that now that Gustav seems to be over, is the party going to be like, "Okay, it's over, not that many people died, so let's go CRAZY!!!!!!!

MEGAN: Oh, I totally am. I just want to hide in bed until this is all over. Too bad my hotel doesn't have wifi — it's hard line DSL only, so I have to sit at my desk! I don't know, the parties were already pretty wild last night. It's just the Red Cross hit everyone up for donations at the door.

ASMA: Ha ha. Mine has Wi-Fi, but it doesn't seem to be working so I had to plug in. But, yes, otherwise, I'd be doing this from bed.

MEGAN: I miss bed.

ASMA: I am not a big party person. I just think that political convention-goers + parties = going to bed too late for something not really worth it. If I thought I could get a good interview or see a celeb or politician I like, I might go, but, honestly, not really in to that scene. If that makes me less of a blogger, well, then so be it.

MEGAN: I went to 4.

ASMA: I know, I can't wait to go to bed tonight!

MEGAN: Hey, if we end this now, I can go back to bed really soon!

ASMA: That works for me!