1.) Bacon, cultural insensitivity, measurements: The Yenta Hour with Kathie Lee and Hoda has it all.

2.) "Inappropriate affect" is my new favorite description.

3.) Jersey Shore Unleased
We posted on this new reality show earlier this week, but there was So. Much. More. Even though I'm more familiar with, and endeared to, South Jersey, where I've spent a lot of summers down the shore, I still love the Northerners depicted on this show, because although their accents slightly differ from the douchebags and douchebaguettes I've grown up around, everything else is pretty much still the same…in Jersey, we don't pump our gas, we pump our fists.

4.) Also, I love their love.

5.) Male boobs.

6.) Teyona is America's Next Top Model. Duh.

7.)

8.) Ramona's on no "crap pike."
Part 2 of the Real Housewives Of New York reunion was crazy eyes.

9.) "Cartwheels have no price." — Kelly Bensimon, 2009

10.) Darling

Here is what we know: Ramona will be played in the upcoming Beezus and Ramona by one Joey King, an adorable nine-year-old Disney vet. Beezus is played by - wait for it! - Selena Gomez, the cute-as-a-button teen star whom Disney's positioning as the new Miley. In other words, the Quimby sisters are going to be just as cute and pretty and silly as you please.

Except, we don't please: Beezus and Ramona are not cute. Ramona's a terror who ages into a normal, relatable little girl. Beezus, meanwhile, is a bit of a grind who goes from long-suffering older-sister to slightly awkward adolescence. And their adventures are not particularly "zany"; for the most `part it's small-scale stuff that's funny because it's so normal and most of all, because the writing is so hilarious. I have a terrible feeling that this movie will do what they did to Harriet the Spy - not offensive, exactly, but innocuous, anonymous, brightly-colored candy floss that keeps the stories' broadest conceits but strip them of their quirks and interesting characters. Rather than living in the mid-century landscape of Beverly Cleary's novels, the Quimbys will probably live in some bright, modern suburb and dress like tweens; this, after all, is what happened to Harriet M. Welsch. It's not that this is so egregious, but a little Squid and the Whale-style patina would have made Harriet the Spy feel like the book. Kids are not stupid; they can comprehend other times and places. The fact that the Ramona series was started some fifty years ago has done nothing to alienate millions of readers.

It's not like this movie's going to ruin anything. Like most crummy adaptations, it will come and go and people will keep loving the books and hoping against hope that maybe someone who really gets it will give the story its due. (This is basically what happened to the Sarah Polley Ramona series of the 80's, which was fairly true to the books but still lacked their essential humor.) Of course, not all good writing is cinematic, but some adaptations work, most of them for TV: I remember seeing an adaptation of Alan and Naomi that captured all that story's poignancy; a BBC version of A Little Princess from the 80's still works better than any of the big-screen versions. But none of these books was as closely associated with an iconic set of illustrations as are the "Ramona" books or "Harriet the Spy." Maybe that's part of why they feel like particular desecrations. We know what Beezus looks like, and it's not Selena Gomez.

'Ramona' star is ready for wackiness [USA Today]

• If this whole Jezebel thing doesn't work out, we now know how to become an internet "escort."
  
• Lilly Ledbetter is a stand-up lady. Maybe someday women will get equal pay for equal work, but not today.
  
• But look! Babies and puppies!
  
• We became certified Tina Feynatics.
  
• We talked about moms! You can't live with them, can't shed their DNA.

• Spitzer? I don't even know 'er!
• We were not that into the Sex and the City-branded lingerie. Shudder.
• The Real Housewives of New York City reunion was possibly the best 60 minutes of television we've ever seen. Thank GOD it's been picked up for a second season! We can't wait to hang with Ramoarawn again.
• So throw on that muumuu, and remember: VD is for Everybody.