• Cyndi Lauper and Lady Gaga's M.A.C. Viva Glam ad is out. Gaga looks...surprisingly normal. [FWD]

• Helena Christensen protested in Copenhagen this weekend. In quieter times, she reads the dictionary to expand her English vocabulary. And she's one of those people about text messages: "I get obsessed with spelling. I make every text message I send correct in punctuation," explains the Danish supermodel. "I am super-fastidious about certain things." [Daily Express]
• Phil Knight is standing by Tiger Woods. The scandal-plagued golfer's endorsement deal with Nike is worth a reported $30 million annually; Knight admitted doing a background check on Woods before signing him. "He came out clean," the company founder said. [Reuters]
• It has been confirmed that André Leon Talley is a new judge for the whole next cycle of America's Next Top Model. Kimora Lee Simmons is only a guest judge. It's puzzling that Vogue would want to touch anything in Tyra Banks' smizing empire with a bargepole, but it'll be great to see André's judicial robes on nighttime television. (Also: I would leave New Zealand only for Tyra et al. to set off there. They are shooting the CoverGirl challenge today in Half Moon Bay, apparently.) [TVNZ]
• Christian Lacroix has designed new uniforms for 20,000 French railway employees. They are grey and purple. Few more of these gigs and he'll have his couture business back in no time. [WWD]
• "I've struggled with it! I've struggled with that. I've struggled with that," says Tom Ford, on the luxury culture of insatiable accretion, and charging $75 for socks."Just because one is spiritual doesn't mean one doesn't like crocodile, cashmere. We live in a material world." [TDB]
• To produce its fashion show, Victoria's Secret allegedly filled half a city block with noisy generators that ran 24 hours a day for over a week. This disturbed the sleep of nearby residents, including those at a home for people with HIV. Michael Musto's anonymous source claims that the company, which coincidentally finally broadcast its show on World AIDS Day, had to offer the residents a cash settlement. [Village Voice]
• Serena Williams returns to the Home Shopping Network to sell her line of clothing today. Last time the tennis star did the HSN rounds, her goods sold out in under three hours. How? "Everything in the collection is under $100," Williams explains. "And everything you get from me [is] great quality. I think for those prices and [this] quality, it is a no-brainer." Do you hear that? A no-brainer. It's not buying her clothes that really defies explanation. [People]
• The family that owns Salvatore Ferragamo bought a decrepit estate with a vineyard in Tuscany in 1993. The restoration process now complete, Ferragamo is now introducing four wines into the U.S. market, ranging in price from $15-$80 per bottle. They do not carry the family name trademark, because that would be so vulgar. [BW]
• Project Runway alumnus Rami Kashou has been dressing Queen Rania of Jordan. His spring collection is partly inspired by Frank Gehry. [LATimes]
• Knitwear designer Carmen Colle's lawsuit against Chanel has been thrown out by a Paris court. Colle's company, World Tricot, which designs new knitting and crochet patterns for various designer clients to incorporate into their runway looks, sued Chanel in 2004 when she spied a Chanel coat made from what she alleged was a World Tricot crochet pattern that Chanel had rejected, and never paid for. But it wasn't all bad news for Colle. World Tricot also sued for breach of contract, after Chanel abruptly stopped patronizing the house. Chanel countersued for besmirching its good name by bringing the suit at all. The court found World Tricot was owed €400,000 for the breach of contract, and it also found that Chanel was owed €200,000 for "commercial prejudice." World Tricot may appeal the forgery ruling. [WSJ]
• Jason Wu was asked if he was for or against brunch. "Pro, but only if it's after 1:30," the designer responded. Who the hell is against brunch? [TFI]
• Christopher Kane clarifies his earlier statements about not liking fashion blogs because designers have little to no control over what they publish. Now he says blogs can be fine, so long as they're not "critical" or "negative": "You're allowed to say what you want but sometimes the blogs that you read are really negative and that's what I meant to say really. Sometimes it's too negative for my liking and I think maybe they could give someone a compliment or say something nice. But bloggers nowadays seem to be a bit negative...but when it gets to someone's work and they're being critical, it's like ‘Give them a break'." [Grazia]
• Unilever has suspended its relationship with a palm oil supplier after Greenpeace alleged that the supplier was not harvesting its oil sustainably. Palm oil is a key ingredient in many cosmetics, but deforestation and environmental destruction can result when farmers slash and burn forests to plant palms. [WWD]

• First Lady Carla Bruni Sarkozy is suing the bag company Pardon for using her nude image (circa '93) on a tote. The text translates to, “My guy should have bought Pardon!" [Telegraph]

• Pharrell Williams hot pink bowtie hoodie. Nuff said. [The Life Files]
• Mischa Barton: “For me, I think my favorite fashion icons have always been women of the 70’s — real rock & roll chicks like Anita Pallenberg and Maryann Faithful…I like quirkiness in people. I think Zooey Deschanel has awesome style.” [MischaBarton.com]
• Speaking of celeb style crushes, here's gymnast Nastia Liukin: "I love Blake Lively. She’s probably my favorite. You know, Gossip Girl is my favorite show. But their style is pretty different on the show than it is in real life." [ElleGirl]
• This new Love mag is sounding better by the day: now word is Beth friggin' Ditto may be their first cover girl! [Fashionista]
• This fraud suit against Kate Hudson's WildAid haircare line claims they stole trade secrets from a Cali manufacturer. [WWD]
• Diesel's latest gross and completely unappealing ad: "Pete the Meat Puppet." [Coilhouse]
• Project Runway finalist Rami Kashou is guest-DJing for KCRW. Expect a lot of draping. [KCRW]
• Zara continues its world domination with an ambitious expansion plan. [FT]
• If that spare $24 grand is burning a hole in your pocket, why not spring for the grotesque, quilted Dior phone this Xmas? Looks good with rags! [FashionWeekDaily]
• Jeremy Scott's winged, gold sneakers for Adidas walk — fly? — the line between ridiculous and awesome. [FashionWeekDaily]
• Representin': Michigan Rep. Candice Miller showed up in Congress sporting a jacket made out of recycled aluminum from an old car chassis. Thrifty and supportive! [Politico]
• Speaking of bailouts, True Religion might start making cheaper jeans! Has the denim bubble burst? [Reuters]
• Valentino's new "shopping couture bag" — which they describe equally vaguely as a “Designer Decalogue" — is in the shape of a shopping tote, but really expensive and impractical! [Style.com]
• Prada responds to the financial crisis: "We are working hard, focusing on savings, even as a mental concept...The crisis makes you work better, it makes you go to the core without too many frills." [Reuters]
• Dolce and Gabbana's makeup line launches next month. It's "rumored" that a "Hollywood starlet" will be its face. [WWD]
• Wait, we thought Tommy Hilfiger's engagement had ended (serves us right for not caring more!) It seems they just postponed the wedding and opted for a secret ceremony instead. So yeah, now they're getting married. [New York Post]
• Looks like Holly Dunlap's uber-cute shoe line Hollywould truly is biting the dust. [WWD]
• Contempo brand Mike & Chris, however is planning to "weather the recession." Us too! [WWD]
• Meanwhile, Brit teen retailer Miss Selfridge launches a "limited edition" cocktail dress line: the new trend in fast fash? [VogueUK]

Season 1 winner Jay McCarroll says of his burlap cocktail-length dress, "We need to live within our means and get back to basics."

But for his spring 2007 collection, Jay designed this citrusy gown and this metallic gown. Either one could be an elegant choice for Michelle Obama!

Season 1 finalist Austin Scarlett created this washed burlap strapless gown.

Here's a more formal choice, from Austin Scarlett's line, Kenneth Pool.

Season 2 semifinalist Kara Janx made a dress "about patriotism and change, with a pop culture spirit."

But can you picture Michelle Obama in one of Kara's famous kimonos? The gold trim adds a more glamorous touch.

Malan Breton of Season 3 cut the stars out of the flag and used them to highlight his dress.

But a more simple, regal shape from his 2009 spring collection seems more fitting for a First Lady.

Mychael Knight, Season 3 semifinalist, created a "youthful and sexy" gown. "She’s becoming the first lady, not an old lady!"

Mychael's designs are so youthful and so sexy (think: leather bikinis) that the only appropriate gown to be found was this one from an old episode of Project Runway. Still, Ms. Obama could rock this.

Alison Kelly of Season 3 says she "thought back to the Great Depression and remembered Coco Chanel’s dropped waist silhouette" when she dreamed up this black gown.

But what if she took this top from her line, Dahl by Alison Kelly, and lengthened it into a dress? It has a quiet yet impactful "wow" factor. And Michelle Obama has great shoulders.

LOL. This is from the lovable Chris March, Season 4. Due to dire financial straits, "The first lady will have to resort to wearing a barrel. Of course, hers will be glamorous."

Checking out Chris March's site, it was tough to find anything Michelle Obama-appropriate. This was the best I could do. It's very "after the revolution," no?

Rami Kashou of Season 4 used draping, of course. The stripes are awfully distracting, though.

Could Michelle Obama wear a Rami Kashou divine golden goddess number instead?

Last, but not least: Season 5 winner Leanne Marshall. Her gown features a dramatic collar and "a very full, pocketed sweeping skirt of 50 horizontally paneled potato sacks." Not bad, but…

This beautiful dress from Leanne's final collection would be much, much better.

The Ball Gown Challenge [The Daily Beast]

Related: Jay McCarroll
Austin Scarlett
Kara Janx
Mychael Knight
Dahl By Alison Kelly
Chris March
Rami Kashou
Leanimal

• Lauren Conrad is On The Move, Azlan-style. After a prolonged period of alleged laziness, Conrad is promoting her eponymous clothing line all over our fifty states. [Yahoo]
• According to this Sun columnist's "hunch," Kate Moss is pregnant. Take that for what it's worth. [The Sun]
• According to model Niki Taylor — and her husband, doctor and uterus' hunch — she's pregnant too! [People]
• Fashiongate FAQ. [Washington Post]

• More signs of economic apocalypse: the cancellation of Fashion Rocks, CondeNast's annual fashion-rock concert-magazine. [AdAge]
• Here's how to get those undecided swing voters! "On Thursday morning, (Zac) Posen filmed a 15-second video urging people to vote, to vote for Barack Obama, and to dress for the occasion." [WWD]
• L'Oreal keeps its head above water, but cuts forecasts. [WSJ]
• There's hedging your bets, and then there's...this. In case they don't get Runway back, Bravo's introducing Fashion House, Celebrity Sew-Off and The Fashion Show, which sounds suspiciously like a Project Runway where viewers choose the winner. [Yahoo]
• Kate Moss, friend, rumored to be dressing up as Tina Turner, Cher for Halloween, kicks. [Fashionologie]
• "Where would Moss be without her languidly rockish locks?" Um, I don't know. Anyway, her hairdresser is releasing a budget line of hair products. So that we can continue to look nothing like her, on the cheap! [Guardian]
• Ferragamo does all the beautiful, 40s-style shoes for the epic film Australia. [W]
• As an army of Bettys and Joans can tell you tonight, Mad Men has had a serious influence on fashion. [LA Times]
• Charlotte Ronson for J.C. Penney is predictably darling. [Nylon]
• Speaking of cute fast fashion: Old Navy's latest plus-sized line is really pretty. [Fabsugar]
• On the other side of economic divide, Balenciaga's Nicolas Ghesquière ditches his celeb moddles. [New York Magazine]
• And the head of Chanel: “Even in tough times, people want to see beautiful and inspirational things." [Economist]
• Rami Kashou lectures at the Phillips Collection. Quoth the master-draper: "I want to talk about what it takes to keep a dream alive...What it's like to be a 5-year-old and have a dream." [Washington Post]
• Bottega Veneta gets into cruisewear. Believe it or not, more frequent collections is actually a Recession-proofing measure. [WWD]

• Frances Bean Cobain is rumored to be the next face of Chanel. That's hot. And also crazy. Oh, Karl. [Vogue UK]
  
• Louis Vuitton has postponed indefinitely its "China Run" car rally, which was originally scheduled to take place in late May with a route from Chengdu and Kunming. Reason? Um, it's not exactly cool to be supporting China's blatant disregard for human rights right now and France is all pissed re: the Olympics etc etc. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Also, Yohji Yamamoto wants to teach China about Peace and improve relations though the country and his native Japan through his new Yohji Yamamoto Fund For Peace. This will mainly involve fashion shows. Of course. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Also China's on the warning list for counterfeiting shit. Oh, China. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Tommy Hilfiger, ambiguously racist? Says the designer, "[W]e feel that with our European-influenced approach, the sophisticated and higher level of quality and fashion somehow reaches the type of people who represent the brand very well... Ten years ago it was positioned with a lot of red, white and blue and a lot of logos and you would look at these street kids wearing the clothes as billboards." [FT]

• Elle still hasn't confirmed that fashion director Nina Garcia was fired, but Nina's assistants, Jade Frampton and Malina Joseph, just got big promotions, with Frampton taking the title of market editor and Joseph that of bookings editor. Senior style editor Kate Lanphear has been promoted to style director and rumors abound that she might be up for the fashion director gig herself. Can someone tell us the difference between a style director and a fashion director? The real difference, that is? That's what we thought. [WWD, 4th item]
• Um, but these promotions seem to be a result of the fact that bookings editor Claudine Ingeniri and market editor Helane Crowell have left the magazine. Associate art director Florence Sicard has also left. [WWD, 4th item]
• Anna Wintour's new assistant is named Claiborne Swanson. She comes from the Swanson-as-in-chicken-breasts family. Also, she must be a masochist to have taken this job. [NYMag]
• Okay, so here's what the rumor mill is reporting regarding who will come with whom at next Monday's Costume Institute Gala, hosted by George Clooney, Julie Roberts, and Anna Wintour: Giorgio Armani with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, Jennifer Lopez with Alberta Ferretti, Kate Bosworth with Chanel, and Eva Mendes, Rachel Bilson and Fergie with Calvin Klein. Mariah Carey, Renée Zellweger, Scarlett Johansson, Kate Moss, Mary J. Blige, Claire Danes, Mischa Barton, LeBron James, Valentino, Tom Ford, Domenico Dolce, Stefano Gabbana and Donatella Versace will all be there too. [WWD, 1st item]
• The Wall Street Journal names Proenza Schouler, Peter Som, Zac Posen, Rodarte, Derek Lam, 3.1 Phillip Lim and Tuleh as the seven young designers to watch because they're thisclose to breaking mainstream. Um, they already have. Way to be up on the times, WSJ. [WSJ]
• Deep thoughts with Entourage's Emmanuelle Chirqui, "Why not wear something fabulous and save the environment at the same time?" [WWD, 2nd item]
• Rami Kashou: You can buy it online! [Sassybella
• Glasses are hot, Lasik eye surgery be damned. [WSJ]
• Men: Wearing jewelry. [LATimes]
• High-heeled Crocs: Oh. God. [Crocs]

The Good:
Becki Newton is wearing a beautiful dress in one of my favorite colors, bright yellow. So why the scowl?

Ah, if only Candis Cayne and Billy Baldwin were an actual couple. How glam they look a deux. [It's soooo hard to believe Candis was born a man!  Dodai]

Memo to Cindy Crawford: Always wear red. And accessorize with Rande Gerber.

Ellen DeGeneres: The Charlie Chaplin of our age?

Portia DeRossi borrows a page from Ellen's handbook and rocks the white pants.

Oh, Jackie Warner. Why must you always look so fierce? (And be such a bitch on Work Out?)

It's going to be hard for Jennifer Beals to do the bit with the chair in a ladylike evening gown like this.

Kathy Griffin looks good. She's also looking less and less like Kathy Griffin.

Dear Rufus Wainwright and Jorn Westfeldt: Please give me the clothes off your back. And sing Judy Garland songs for me.

Yeah, Sofia Veragara is going to need to strip down and give me her dress too. It's so effortless but luxe.

Catch your balance, Sally Field  you look lovely!

The Bad:
Miss Jackson If You're Nasty: Is that a jumpsuit I spy?

Jay Manuel, conquistador.

I'm sorry: Rami Kashou should have worn something draped.

The Ugly:

Love the dress, but loathe the shoes, Sarah Silverman.

So many bad ideas in one little outfit on one little Sharon Lawrence. Sigh.

[Images via Getty.]

• It will not surprise anyone to learn that the clothes worn in the Sex & The City movie were not paid for by the movie's production budget but by designers hoping that product placement in the movie will result in clothing sales to actual people convinced that dressing like the characters in Sex & The City is a wise course of action. [Variety]
  
• Speaking of which, Matthew Broderick on the opening of his latest film, the Helen Hunt-directed Then She Found Me: "We just get dressed, get in a car, and hope for the best. But Sarah Jessica's premiere will be a big one! She looks really beautiful today, but it's just the dress rehearsal for now." [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Hell to the no, Rami Kashou did not copy Yves Saint Laurent in designing a dress for Heidi Klum! [NY Mag]
  
• Bloomingdales' workers are on the brink of their first-ever strike. That's what you get when you let retail workers unionize, Terry Lundgren! [Crain's]

• "Her new 'grande bourgeoise' style suits her well," says lingerie designer Chantal Thomas of France's new first lady, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy. We think this is a compliment. [WWD, 4th item]
• Designer Bruce Oldfield is designing uniforms for McDonald's employees in the UK. But don't worry, they're not too "quirky and eccentric." [Vogue UK]
• Model Hana Soukupova on how she goes green: "I got a Range Rover as I just learned to drive and it's big and safe and great for driving around NYC. I am very eco-conscious and must admit I have been considering a different car for the summer. I'm thinking of swapping it for a Mini Cooper." You know, Hana? There's also walking. I know models at least have to know how to do that. [Chic Report]
• Yves Saint Laurent designer Stefano Pilati loves Jamba Juice. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Coach: Income up, stock down. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Calypso founder Christiane Celle has left the company she started, a mere seven months after cashing out big time to private equity firms. Blah, blah, irreconcilable differences, what else is new; can we still get candy-colored linen and silk little dresses? [WWD, sub req'd]
• Urban Outfitters: Soon to feature in-house collections by Geren Ford, Steven Alan, Charlotte Ronson, and Paul & Joe. Pete Wentz must be so excited. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Aw, vintage Krazy Karl. [Sassybella]

Earlier: Project Runway Finale: I Remind You That Victoria Motherfucking Beckham Is Here

10:58: Awwwww: Tim is gonna cry. I think Tim really does feel very close to Christian. This is the sweetest, most genuine winning ever.

10:57: I am gonna cry! This is so sweet and heartfelt.

10:56: Don't let it be Rami. Don't let it be Rami. Don't let it be Rami.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT'S CHRISTIAN. He is crying.

Aw, and Rami is being so sweet and gracious. Holy fucking shit, did I just see tears in Posh's eyes????

10:54: Ugh, why is Heidi again going on about Rami?!

Jillian is OUT. That's sad. I am heartbroken that they think RAMI is better than JILLIAN.

10:53: Okay, and we're back from commercial. I am sweating bullets. Seriously.

Ed note: Hey guys, it's Jen, not Jess, who is live-blogging.

10:49: Oooooh but Nina thinks Rami has a bad sense of color! Interesting!

Ahhhhhh! It's time!

10:48: Nina is such a hater when it comes to Jillian. I wonder if Nina just hates women. But Nina's in love with Christian. And so is Posh, but we all knew that. Thank God Kors is there, the voice of reason.

Kors called Rami cerebral?! I take it back about him being the voice of reason.

10:47: Heidi loved Rami? If he wins, I cry. And not tears of joy.
If he wins, it will be even worse than when Chloe won over Daniel in season 2. UNACCEPTABLE.
DO NOT DISAPPOINT ME JUDGES. Jesus, do they have anything mean to say to Rami????

I like how Posh's accent is sorta hick. Ha.

10:46: Oooh Kors said looks monotonous?! And Nina agrees?! Whoah.
I did not see this coming. Why I love Posh: It was monotonous, but it was my style, so I was ok with that.
Um, that's fucking brilliant.

10:44: Ooh  good for Heidi for commending Jillian for trying new shapes.
Oy, Nina's the only judge who didn't like. But I do agree with Nina and Michael, Jillian is the queen of knitwear.

10:43: I like how they all say "Bravo," echoing the name of the channel on which they air.

Totes obvious that Jillian stuck with inspiration from Met challenge. Ooh Posh liked it! I swear I get excited just hearing Victoria speak.

10:42: Wow  Nina seems genuinely impressed. I worked with her. I don't think she could fake it if she actually wasn't impressed. (Which is a strength, I think.)

10:41: I love how Heidi always puts things in a question: "How amazing was the show?"

10:38: Uh, Elizabeth Berkley is hosting some pole-dancing competition reality show? She can't be serious.

10:37: Jay McCarroll thinks Rami's going to win? Um, this is why Jay's career has gone nowhere. Oy, so does Uncle Nick?! What is wrong with them???

10:36: Posh is eating this up. She's like a pig in shit. She and Christian should collaborate together.

10:35: His collection is amazing. And I can totally see Posh in all of it. He may do the same thing over and over again (puffy sleeve jacket, skinny pants), but he does it really well. I wonder why he never got called out for that...

Ugh this pants with zipper crotch are bad though. And how come they never call his stuff costume-y?
It's not exactly, ahem, "street" wear.

10:34: Aw, Christian is so cute and casual. And that was sorta cute how he said to the crowd "everybody looks fierce". Shameless plug: The music for Christian's show is by friend-of-Jezebel Brad Walsh!

10:32: Rami's collection looks so, so bad on TV. His family looks proud though. And that gold dress is amazing. But the separates are rubbish. That man from Jerusalem can only do eveningwear. He's this season's Austin Scarlett.

10:30:Rami's little speech about celebrating women is just as dumb this time around.

And so is his collection. It looks dated and weird. Don't like.

10:25: And seriously, I wouldn't wear that ruffled miniskirt, but I would wear almost everything else.And the insane hats are, well, sorta insane. But also sorta awesome. It's so much fun seeing this again! I love her evening look, with the corset. Want.

10:24: Aw Jillian: Love her little sweater dress. Seeing her collection on TV, I feel you get a more nouveau Ralph/Perry Ellis sensibility. I think she really has what it takes to be the new face of American sportswear.

10:23: Heidi is so cute and...babbly Her Kate Moss haircut is so hot.

10:22:And yet, he still finds time to hairspray his hair one last time.
Sigh. This is why I've grown to love him. When the going gets tough, use more hairspray. It's all so....Steel Magnolias.

10:21: Holy shit  two missing models for Christian. How is he staying so calm when two of his models haven't shown? They would be scraping me off the floor. Hell, my heart is racing just watching it.

10:20: The way Rami styled his models' hair is FUG. What the fuck is up with that weird braid twisting round their skulls? Egads, as Tim would say.

10:19: Haha, the camera just showed the seat I sat in. Empty, mind you, but my seat.

10:18: Tim just said they are an inspiration to him. Life goal: Be an inspiration to Tim Gunn.

If Jillian's curling iron and Christian's flat iron had a battle, who would win? Discuss.

10:17: One last "gather round" with Tim. I might cry. I think Tim is going to cry! If Tim cries, I will bawl.

10:16: Jillian is ensuring her models' hair gets curled  she really is going to style them like herself. Um, does Jillian realized she sounds a little racist? Saying how she's going to have to learn to accept diversity? That ain't good. This breaks my heart because I was pulling for her. And now...now I might have to root for Ferocia Coutura.

10:13: Um, how cute is Uncle Nick from Season 2 in his Saturn commercial? Just saying. Jillian has gone off the deep end. She is like Norman Bates as his mom at the end of Psycho, the way she's talking to herself.

Whoah! Rami just turned on his hag Jillian! He called her annoying! No he didn't!!!

10:09: Jillian is _seriously_ having a meltdown. Maybe this is Ferocia Coutura's real power: Rendering other designers unable to successfully cast a runway show?

10:08: Oh God: That is so Christian  "It's not about comfort, ladies!" I think Christian wants to torture women. And by torture I mean....make them look like him. But snaps for his confession that he wore the heels he got for his models around his apartment.

10:07: I am worried about Jillian: If she can't handle the sight of two models in the same room how will she ever go on to, y'know, have a career? And, um, function in society?

10:05: Christian wants "dark-skinned girls." Is he trying to end the white out??? God bless that little fashion imp! Also, love that he continues to style his models to look like himself. For that matter, Jillian is doing that to her models too.

10:04; Ooh: Fighting during model casting?! I can only hope.

10:03: Tim is oddly silent with Christian. Christian is nervous. I am nervous.

10:02: Tim just hated on that crazy stripe-y sweater with pom-pom sleeves that I loved so much at the runway show. OH MY GOD  does Tim think I have bad taste? If so, I can't live with myself. And Tim likes Rami's collection? God is dead.

10:01: I love that Jillian asked Christian and Rami to approve her hair. That was cute; it's why I love Jillian. Ha  Rami thinks Christian looks afraid. As if! Christian ain't afraid of no one! He's Ferocia Coutura, bitches!

Christian is really talented. Bratty and immature, yes, but also really talented. His look, based on a painting of a male Spanish soldier/nobleman and his black jodhpurs and ginormous white blouse and vest combo, was very, to borrow a classic Nina-ism, "editorial". It was beautifully made. It was dramatic. And though it was sorta crazy and super bold, it was somehow still wearable. Also, Roberto Cavalli, whose sentences had to be subtitled because his accent is indecipherable, said that he could tell it was made with love. It made no sense, and yet it rang true! Christian won and is off to Fashion Week! After seeing his show last week, I suspect his entire collection was based on this painting, too. He is clearly the one to beat.

Also going to Bryant Park is queen of my heart, Jillian. I love this girl! Her outfit was based on a painting of the Argonauts at battle and I thought she had the most interesting, wearable, fashion-forward look of the bunch. In a way, her piece was more inventive than Christian's, because it showed you don't have to make a shirt the size of a pup tent to do something bold and attention-getting. Also? The dress, the jacket? Hot. You have to love Jillian's humility: The way she finally told Christian that she just couldn't deal with him and his attitude; the way she told Tim how lucky she felt to be a part of this process; the way she graciously said, "That would be an honor" when Mr. Cavalli told her he'd love to have her on his staff; and the way she genuinely thanked the judges when they informed her she would also be showing in Bryant Park. Jillian+Jen4Eva.

Sweet P is out of the running. Who among us did not see this coming? She's a real sweet lady. But she's out of her league on this show. As I stated last week, maybe she could just open a cupcake shop instead? I'm not sure if fashion is her destiny, even if her decoy show in Bryant Park last week was more impressive than I expected. Her inspiration? A painting of a peacock. She made a "eh, wearable" dress (as Michael Kors put it) that had little to do with the panting and even less to do with exciting design. It did, however, garner this laugh-out-loud comment from Roberto Cavalli: "What is more fantasy than peacock tail?"

Then, in the weirdest stunt ever pulled on this show, Heidi informed Rami and Chris March that the judges were split on which one of them should be out and which of them should proceed to Fashion Week. So she said that the day before the show, they would each have to present the judges with their three strongest looks, and then the judges would decide who would be in and who would be out. Which is bullshit: Why not just let both of them show? What point, other than debasing my beloved Project Runway with Survivor-type gambits, is there to this system if the whole point of the finale is that their final runway collections are evaluated? I call Bullshit.

Rami, unsurprisingly, did something draped. In all fairness, they did turn him loose in the Greek and Roman sculpture court. But then they ripped him a new one during judging, telling him all he does is make pretty and wearable clothes but that he makes the same stuff every single week and that he has to stop draping. Rami responded by (sorta) screaming, "What's wrong with draping? What's so bad about draping?" Awkward! Then Roberto Cavalli got fresh and told Rami that he needs to do more to prove why he should be in this competition; I feared Rami was going to pull a Santino-going-postal-on-Nina. Scary.

Then there's Chris March. I just love him, because I think he's a nice guy and is, thankfully, the biggest jolt of personality we've seen this season. His dress was very pretty and dramatic and  another favorite Nina-ism!  expensive-looking. But as the judges pointed out, Chris's dress, based on a painting of a French noblewoman, bore an uncanny resemblance to the couture dress that he had made with Christian a few weeks prior. This made Chris cry. But Chris also cried happy tears when Roberto Cavalli said that the dress was his favorite and that he expected to see Chris show in Paris at couture in the very near future. But I thought Tim Gunn was going to cry when he discovered Chris napping while the others were working. There is no napping on Project Runway. You work, you freak, you fight with the other contestants, you freak some more, you get back to work. But you don't nap. It's disrespectful and arrogant on Christian-like proportions. Chris, you broke my heart a little with this one.

Next week: The reunion special, where surely, Ricky will cry and Kevin will tell everyone how straight he is again, but in the meantime: Who wins the Rami vs. Chris battle???? I'm not going to be able to sleep for two weeks.

At last: Chris March wins! I mean, if the master of all things campy can't win a fucking women's wrestling challenge, well... he can and he did. Anyway, the best part about Chris's win is that he was the only one who didn't seem to be judging the challenge or the woman who served as his client. He loved her, she client loved him, and they both loved leopard print. Also, big snaps to Chris for calling attention to the fact that his co-designers would be a lot more excited about this challenge if the outfits were to be worn by men. Which raises an excellent question: Why hasn't there ever been a drag challenge on this show? (And why do I feel like Michael Kors would be excited to judge it?)

I have to admit that I would've been okay had Christian won this week; his Prince-inspired leather and lace combo was, to use his favorite word, fierce. In fact, Christian himself admitted that the design was his favorite of everything he'd designed all season. Also: What's not to love about spandex pleather chaps?

Another favorite design? Jillian's. Plus, the footage of Jillian watching DVDs of women's wrestling and grunting, hollering and cheering along with it? Amazing. And just like Richie Rich of Heatherette (Rich and co-designer Trevor Raines were last night's guest judges), I love booty shorts. And apparently, so does Nina Garcia, who championed Jillian's look as her favorite.

Oy; where to begin? I am sick and tired of witnessing Rami freak out every time a challenge isn't suited to his "design sensibility". At least he didn't mention that he's from Jerusalem and blame that on his being too fashion-forward to comprehend such a basic task.

Sweet P. could not have sucked any more this week. She got to work with the reigning WWE Diva champ, a self-described "sex kitten," and all she could think of was a look that Tim Gunn described as "Eva Gabor in Green Acres," (I'd call it more Plan 9 From Outer Space). Regardless, the outfit was not only uninspired but poorly constructed. She should just give up on fashion design and open up a cupcake shop. Also, what was up with her challenging Christian to an arm wrestle? And is it wrong that I loved that he kicked her ass?

Lastly, there was Ricky, who made an orange bathing suit. Oh, and a lame-ass cover-up that was accurately described as a "disco hair-cut smock." Honestly: A bathing suit? Nothing else? And did anyone else find it ironic that the one week that Ricky didn't cry he also lost? Maybe he needs to take a page from Hillary Clinton. (Kidding. Kidding!!)

Proof there is no God: Ricky won a challenge! (So unacceptable on so many levels.) While staring slack-jawed at the screen after his win, a friend who works in design for one of the major American designers, said, "My God, that looks like Sweetface." ("Sweetface" = J. Lo's clothing line = Not Good.) The only good part of Ricky's win? The fact that is that the praise bestowed on him made him cry. It was amazing. But, with any luck, Ricky will finally be out next week. Bitch and his hats have got to go.


Onto who should've won this week: Rami. Though his cry-baby attitude last week was a total turn-off, the denim look he created week was a major turn-on. Something about it just screamed "naughty flight attendant," which is, truth be told, one of my favorite strangely-cliched design looks. He was the only one, I felt, who really did anything with the materials given last night. I was crazy for the look. I was not crazy, however, about Rami blaming every little thing on the fact that he was raised in Jerusalem. "I'm not an American designer," he bitched while bare-chested, save for a small cross around his neck, "I was raised in Jerusalem! Three major religions are fighting one another there!"


Christian managed to make pant legs out of jacket sleeves and behave like like an irrepressible egomaniac. And he was mean to Chris March, saying, "I know a lot more than you do." Also, have you noticed how he puts a princess-seamed sleeve on everything he makes? If I were in charge, I would put Rami on draping restriction and Christian on princess seam and ruffle detail restriction. As Christian would say, "Makes me feel barfy."


I would be wrong in neglecting to praise Sweet P for her ability to bail herself out of trouble, which she did with great aplomb last night. Although she wanted to make a denim patchwork maxi-dress (see earlier posts on additional reasons why it's probable that Sweet P has dropped a little too much acid),Tim told her how to fix it, and she did, for once.


Mr. March was not fine form. He made a halter dress that looked, simply, sad. (Perhaps he was just off his game after being mocked?) No matter: Sad design = sad judges = sad viewers.


Speaking of sad, Jillian really took the cake by making a coat and concurrently having something resembling a minor breakdown. And these weren't just Ricky-style crocodile tears; they were dangerous to oneself or others kind of tears. (She also claimed she kept poking herself with needles. Um, draw your own conclusions.)



Lastly: Victorya. After behaving like a royal bitch all season and taking all the credit for Jillian's design last week, she got dropped from the show like a hot potato. But not before taking a denim jacket and sewing a skirt to it, which, in short, sucked. As did her behavior post-boot: She didn't even have the decency to hug the others goodbye or even say goodbye after Tim told her she needed to go to the workroom and clean up her space. The only person who seemed sad to see her go was Christian: But of course it takes a bitch to know one.

Words I never thought I would say: I was thrilled that Christian won. I was so charmed by his work this week that I was able to keep myself from throwing things at my TV when he proclaimed in the workroom, "If I were a diva, my name would be FEROSH!"  yes, as in ferocious. Sigh. The avant-garde look that he and Chris designed was on a whole other level than anything any of the other designers had conceived: It was sophisticated and directional and creative and artistic and beautifully constructed. Chris and Christian should go into business together; Chris's background in costume design brings the imagination and playfulness that Christian's couture-aspiring looks so desperately need. Michael Kors was rendered speechless for once, which is just about the highest compliment you can get on this show. I agree with Tim Gunn (note to self: always agree with Tim Gunn) that their r-t-w look was sorta cheap-looking, but I'll excuse it just this once.

Rami was grouchy this week. He could barely hide his disdain at being paired with Sweet P, and did even less to conceal the look on his face that screamed "Oh By The Way: I Think You're An Idiot And Have Bad Taste To Boot" every time the poor woman opened her mouth. Sweet P, who could give Ricky a run for his money when it comes to turning on the waterworks, was so distressed and weepy that even her model tried to console her. Fortunately, no bad deed was left unpunished and Rami found himself in the bottom two, as the judges questioned his bad attitude, his taste level, and his ability to do anything other than drape. They also gave major props to the r-t-w look  designed and constructed by Sweet P. I was happy to see the possibly-bipolar chick get some positive feedback.

The other look in the top two this week was designed by Jillian and Victorya. I'm not gonna lie, I was worried, 'cause they both have an "I'm more sophisticated than you" air and they're both slow at construction. But the girlies pulled through (even if, whoops, they didn't have their r-t-w look ready until the morning of the runway show) and made a crazy fierce jacket straight out of The Matrix and twisted jockey pants, detailed with unexpected tartan (they also used the plaid in their ready-to-wear look, a black dress both punky and lady-like). Victorya took the leadership credit, but lovely, overly-medicated genius Jillian was really the mastermind. Nina Garcia looked like she was going to orgasm, she was so into both of these looks, only lending more evidence to my suspicion that Nina is really into S&M.

Last but not least? Our losers, Ricky and Kit. The duo made a poor man's Scarlett O'Hara dress, complete with hoop skirt. It was ridiculous. So was their r-t-w look: Lolita on foodstamps. (And not in a good way.) In the end, the judges sent Kit home and not Ricky, and the fact that Ricky's around for one more week, makes me want to Auf myself.

Christian, and his totally heinous dress, ended up in the bottom two. He alternately blamed Maddie for designing it and then said that he tried to make a good dress and bitched at a dissatisfied Maddie for not understanding the genius of his design. Though Kevin's dress sucked more, I wanted to see Christian go home, based on bad attitude alone. He said that working with a 17-year old made him feel "not fierce." Oh please.

The true highlights of the episode came from the designers musing on their own prom memories: "Straight" Kevin is himself a Jersey boy and went to the tanning beds and nicked his parents liquor before his prom. Maybe this has something to do with why he lost? He made a god-awful ugly red short halter dress that the brilliant Michael Kors said looked like it come from the $24.98 bin. Indeed. Also, he didn't even bother to finish the hem!

Sweet P, I've determined, was definitely dropping a lot of acid in high school. In trying to remember her prom experience, she could only get out that she went to Catholic school herself, was sorta a bad girl...and then burst into a fit of strange giggles. It was, to say the least, awkward. Her dress, meanwhile, was one of the top two  a first for Sweet P.

Ricky, unsurprisingly, failed to make it through the episode without bursting into tears, and the waterworks started way before the judges told him his dress wasn't so good. Which yielded my very fashionable and very political friend Joanna to muse, "If Ricky can cry every week, why can't Hillary cry once?". Um, good point.

Victorya, in the bottom two last week, was the challenge winner, but I felt her win was sorta bittersweet since her client only picked her as the designer she wanted to work with because she had last pick in choosing designers. But her dress was cute (even though aren't bubble hems totally over?) and Nina loved it. And a smile from Nina is worth your weight in fabric from Mood on this show.

Chris March, who designed a rather tasteful puke green dress, asked the girls what they wanted to do with their lives. They all giggled and said, "Nothing! We just want to sit around all day!" and my heart broke 1,000 different ways. Then Chris mentioned that he spent his prom night at home by himself, watching old movies and getting drunk. Also, he told a joke to the room: "What would the Flintstones have been called if they were gay? [beat] Fags!" I love him more and more each week.

Last but not least, my fantasy lover Rami, who won last week's challenge, found himself facing the judges scrutiny for the first time ever. His defense? "I'm from Jerusalem. There is no prom there." Yeah, just war! Maybe if only Tim Gunn would tell the Israelis and the Palestinians to "make it work" we'd have peace in the Middle East at last?