• Elijah Wood and Shirley Manson star in a new ad campaign for Oliver Peoples Spring 2010 Resort Collection. Hate to say it, but in this Mad Men-inspired campaign, both come across as a poor woman's Joan & Don. [Black Book]

• According to Paula Sutter, Diane von Furstenberg is "a techy." "She's constantly looking at new technologies. We have a lot more to do there," she said at a recent conference. [WWD]
• In response to the recent terrorist attacks in Mumbai, fashion industry members have come together to create a new book, titled To India, With Love. Contributors include Yves Carcelle, Diane von Furstenberg, Evelyn Lauder, Silvia Fendi, Matthew Williamson, Rachel Roy, Kenneth Cole, Tory Burch and Cynthia Rowley. Natalie Portman, Wes Anderson, Adrien Brody and Elizabeth Hurley are also involved. [WWD]
• Marks and Spencer model - and former WAG (American translation: former wife or girlfriend of an athlete) - Noemie Lenoir had a slight wardrobe malfunction while she was on stage at a charity auction. The back of her dress came unzipped, revealing some very small underwear, but she shrugged and let the bidding continue. [Daily Mail]
• Rory Tahari, wife of designer Elie Tahari, is publishing a book on getting organized, which will include chapters on weddings, children, divorce, and even death. [Observer]
• Gucci will be the main sponsor of the European Equestrian Masters, an international horse jumping show. This will be Gucci's first equestrian funding in 20 years, but the luxury brand has a long history with the elite sport. [WWD]
• New York State's first lady Michelle Paterson recently got the celebrity treatment from Rachel Roy, who sent out a publicity alert announcing Paterson's recent sartorial choice at a party thrown by New York Post gossip columnist Cindy Adams. [Observer]
• Mark Badgley and James Mischka, the designer team behind Badgley Mischka, may be in talks with the home shopping network. Sources say that they are considering following in the footsteps of Tina Knowles and creating a "lifestyle collection" specifically for HSN. [WWD]
• Further proof that Michelle Obama can make anything a trend: Kitten heels are suddenly all the rage in Milan. Of course, that could be because they are just more practical, but that's not half as interesting. [Black Book]
• The ethereally beautiful clothing of Kate and Lura Mulleavy will be featured in an exhibit at the Smithsonian's Cooper-Hewitt National Design Museum next year. Now you, too, can touch the Rodarte! (Actually, that's probably a bad idea.) [WWD]
• Fancy cotton-shirt brand Three Dots has created a basic white v-neck with built-in shoulder pads. Sorry to spoil the surprise, but it's fug. [Inventor Spot]
• Danielle Vitale, president of Gucci America Inc., has announced a shift in focus for the brand. While they plan to continue to stress the "power and allure of product," Vitale would also like to see a greater focus on customer service and employee satisfaction. [WWD]
• Women in the UK are spending more money on clothes, but buying less, according to analysts. This may mean that more people are turning away from fast fashion and favoring quality over quantity. [Daily Mail]
• Victoria's Secret Angel Miranda Kerr is launching an organic skin care line. We're just glad she's not "designing" clothes. [Sassy Bella]
• To address the dearth of angels caused by the model baby boom, Victoria's Secret has reportedly hired Guess model Jessica Hart. [NY Post]
• 1,500 immigrant workers have been fired from American Apparel in the last month because they had not been granted the legal right to work in the U.S. [WWD]
• Gap Inc. has selected a new agency for their holiday ad campaign. Crispin Porter & Bogusky will replace Laird & Partners, which is a shame, because one of the few things likable about the Gap were those cheerful, winter-y holiday ads. [AdAge]
• Jil Sander on her new line for Uniqlo: "I have always been fascinated by the original concept of high street fashion; by the idea of offering attractive, clean-cut clothes to everyone...If you want to make a real difference in the future of fashion, it makes a lot of sense, to engage in a company that has the power to reach people on a global scale." [Times of London]
• Nike shares rose 4.8% in after-hours trading Tuesday, exceeding Wall Street's expectations. [TheStreet]
• According to sources, an Ajman sheihk has submitted a bid for broke fashion house Christian Lacroix. The new owner would preserve Lacroix's current operations, including couture. [WWD]
• Like Diane von Furstenberg, David Lauren, senior VP of Ralph Lauren, is a self-proclaimed techy. "It's great to see all these brands innovating on the phone. It takes shopping and really makes it a part of your life," he says of the company's iPhone app. [Ad Age]
• Hermes is refusing to comment on whether or not they bought jewelery label Asprey. They have, however, confirmed a collaboration with Monaco-based ship-builder Wally to create a £90 million yacht. We were going to make fun of this, but then we saw the pictures, and... we want to go to there. [Vogue UK & Daily Mail]
• Sources say Sarah Jessica Parker is in talks with Halston to be their next celebrity face. Earlier this month, SJP was photographed on the set of Sex and the City: Not Again in a Halston dress, so that could be a sign. [E Online]
• Although the last thing we need is yet another celebrity fragrance, this ad for Kylie Minogue's new perfume, featuring two versions of her model boyfriend, is pretty awesome. [The Sun]

• Miley Cyrus was photographed wearing a bikini in the Bahamas; the 16-year-old Tweeted a joke about her "jiggling thighs," but then went off on critics who called her fat:

"Talk all you want. I have my flaws. I'm a normal girl, there's things about my body I would change but stop with calling me f*t… People that are so okay with being so hateful disgust me and need to spend last time on a gossip website and more time a. reading your bible b. reading stories/articles about what happens when cyber abuse and name calling happens. Kids hurt themselves." The sage Disney star added: "oh and ps if your thighs don't jiggle go see a doctor. thanks" [Daily Mail]

• This report claims that Mariah Carey "threw a fit" in Cannes before the premiere of Precious because the director, Lee Daniels, was late. But an eyewitness says she was "in a great mood" at the after party and Daniels says, "I was not late." Another day, another faux drama. [Gatecrasher]
• Madonna, David Banda, Jesus Luz and Lourdes went to a Kabbalah service over the weekend, but no one seems to know if Madge and Jesus had a commitment ceremony or not. One thing is for sure: Lourdes going to the synagogue Kaballah center wearing a Ghostbusters t-shirt under her white button down = awesome. [Daily Mail]
• Bradley Cooper says the rumor about he and Jennifer Aniston dating is toro caca: "My mom loves it, but unfortunately it's not true." [People]
• Now that Cameron Diaz has split from Paul Sculfor, she was seen having a lunch date with Adam Levine from Maroon 5. He's on the herpes tree, right? [Daily Mail]
• Cynthia Nixon: Engaged to longtime girlfriend Christine Marinoni. [ET]
• Naomi Campbell is dating Russian billionaire Vladislav Doronin, whom this paper calls "the man who has tamed" her. Because, you know, wimminz is craycray without a good man. Here is an actual sentence from the piece: "Perhaps it is Vladislav's relaxed manner that has calmed her down. Or maybe Naomi, 38, finds the property tycoon's massive bank balance – said to be £1.5billion – a reassuring influence. One thing's for sure…she isn't attracted by his dodgy fashion sense, judging by those swim shorts – nor his 'man boobs.'" [Mirror]
• Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds and Betty White star in this hilarious Funny or Die video and frankly, Ms. White steals the show. Too bad it's basically viral marketing for The Proposal. [Funny Or Die]
• A few days ago, there was a "ruckus" at Paris Hilton's house; turns out someone prank called the heiress and told her that Tinkerbell was roadkill on Mulholland Drive. Paris freaked out; neighbors thought they heard an argument and called cops; they really want Paris out of the neighborhood. Sigh. [TMZ]
• Dustin Lance Black, who wrote Milk, is glad Miss California Carrie Prejean kept her crown: "What I think she does is help identify a population that we need to reach out to," he says. "The only way we could get through to some of these groups that vote against us on election day is by telling our stories. That process of education breaks down the stereotypes, the lies and the myths. I'm actually glad [Carrie] didn't lose her job." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Beyoncé is obsessed with Sex And The City and thinks of herself as a Carrie: "She was the person who held all the friendships together." [Mirror]
• "Amber Tamblyn and David Cross Make Out In Public." [Page Six]
• James Gray, who directed Two Lovers, says Gwyneth Paltrow asked him to inspect her breasts: "Gwyneth told me, 'I don't care about nudity, I'll give you everything you need. But I've had two children and I just don't think they look very good any more. Do me a favour, come into my trailer and I'll show them to you and if you think they look OK I'll do it.' So I marched in there and I told her they looked great." And! if you want to see one, nipple and all, click the link. [The Sun]
• Emily Blunt was supposed to be in Get Him To The Greek with Russell Brand, playing a "sex-crazed" pop star who beds Brand's character. But: "She got cold feet and pulled out. She's no prude but the stumbling block was that her character had far too many explicit love scenes." [Daily Express]
• Ricky Gervais wore pajamas to the white house. [The Sun]
• A reporter spoke to Chelsy Davy about her ex, Prince Harry, and writes this: "At a recent dinner the blonde South African, who dated Harry for four years, was asked why she had split with the Prince. She shot me a look of disdain and replied: 'Because he cheated on me.'" [Mirror]
• Is Fergie bisexual? She says: "Put it this way, I've experimented definitely, but I have never had a steady girlfriend." [The Sun]
• Farrah Fawcett's son, currently serving a jail sentence, was allowed to visit her on Friday — the same day Farrah's Story aired — to "say goodbye." [NY Daily News]
• There may be another cut of Farrah's Story in the works, emphasizing that her type of cancer is curable if caught early. [MSNBC]
• Michael Jackson has said he will not perform with Janet and the Jackson 5, but some concert promoter is still trying to make it happen, and if it doesn't, he'll sue MJ. [TMZ]
• Also, contrary to earlier reports, Michael Jackson does not have skin cancer. A spokesperson says the singer "doesn't have any diseases whatsoever." [Guardian]
• Ewan McGregor wants to get a pilot's license but frets that he won't be able to rack up flying hours: "What worries me about it is if I get the licence, what happens if I'm always going away? I don't like to fly when I'm making a movie, so I'm gonna be the most inconsistent pilot." [Daily Express]
• Amy Adams, who is engaged but "too busy" to plan a wedding, says she prepared for Night At The Museum 2 to be on IMAX screens by doing Pilates "as often as I could." [People]
• Rumer Willis guest stars tonight on Medium, alongside Angelica Huston; executive producer Glenn Gordon Caron was the one who gave Rumer's dad, Bruce Willis, his big break in Moonlighting. [AP]
• Oh, and Rumer Willis is a fan of Twitter: "It's a great place for starting a new era of people being less harsh or judgmental. You can really get to know people and everybody is just a human. Just because they have a different job doesn't make them any less a person than anybody else." [AP]
• A psychic who works as a producer on The Ghost Whisperer knew Jennifer Love Hewitt would never marry actor Ross McCall. Freaky! [Page Six]
• Katie "Jordan" Price and Peter Andre are holding "crisis talks" to try and saved their shattered marriage. Although she is in the Maldives and he is in Cyprus. [Daily Mail]
• this paper asks Kristin Scott Thomas: Have you kept in touch with Prince? I read that the song "Better With Time," on his last album, was an ode to you. She replies: "If it's true, it's fantastic. He came to see "The Seagull" [when Scott Thomas was acting on Broadway last year] and was completely wowed by it. A lot of people knew what we were doing and he just turned up. He is incredibly intelligent and talented - if he's written a song for me, it's just the most wonderful present. He's just brilliant, brilliant, brilliant at what he does. What's really great about getting older is that down the road you meet people you haven't seen for a long time and they're still doing something you really admire." Thomas's film debut was as a topless French socialite in Under The Cherry Moon. [NY Daily News]
• Mary Carey, a former patient of Dr. Drew Pinksy, has released a porn titled Celebrity Pornhab with Dr. Screw. [TMZ]
• Did you know that Catherine Zeta-Jones used to be engaged to Hollywood producer Jon Peters — the same guy who's been dishing about Barbra Streisand? [Daily Mail]
• Balthazar Getty and Sienna Miller are over, for real this time. Sienna is now "getting friendly" with Josh Hartnett. [Mirror]
• Jason Priestley and his wife rushed their 1-year-old daughter Ava from a Von's grocery store to the hospital on Saturday — no one knows what happened, but he kid is okay. When i was a kid i got my finger pinched by the wheel while sitting in the bottom of a Kroger shopping cart and the butcher wrapped it up with tape. True story. [TMZ]
• Larry King's 11th book is a memoir; the man has been married eight times to seven women. He's had a personal relationship with every president since Richard Nixon. He says: "If you're going to write an autobiography, you can't leave things out." [USA Today]
• There will be a Broadway musical based on First Wives Club. You're been warned. [Variety]
• William Hurt, Jessica Chastain and Vanessa Redgrave will appear in Ralph Fiennes' directorial debut, Coriolanus, which is a Shakespearean Roman tragedy but will be set in the current day as a political thriller. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Tilda Swinton will star in a film (based on a novel) called We Need to Talk About Kevin. She'll play a "smart, educated New York mother who does her best to raise a son she never wanted in the first place." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Liam Neeson and Jennifer Connelly will star in What's Wrong With Virginia, and the film will be the directorial debut of Dustin Lance Black, the Oscar-winning screenwriter of Milk. [Variety]
• Rita Wilson has sold a script; it's a comedy called Terms Of Embarrassment, and revolves around a middle-aged couple who wind up attending the same college as their son. Although she produced My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Mamma Mia!, this is her first script sale. [Variety]
• Milla Jovovich will star alongside Robert De Niro and Edward Norton in the psychological thriller Stone. [Variety]
• Slumdog Millionaire child star Ayush Mahesh Khedekar got another job! He'll co-star in a Swiss film called Shyam's Secret. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• If you want to know what kind of tunes Quentin Tarantino uses as "music to kill Nazis by" in his new flick, Inglourious Basterds, click the link. [Page Six]
• Star Trek wasn't strong enough to take the top spot at the box office two weekends in a row: Angels & Demons beat the sci-fi flick with $48 mil. [NY Daily News]
• Sadie Frost is reportedly working on a tell-all book, in which she will dish about "infamous bedhopping sessions" involving ex-hubby Jude Law, Supergrass drummer Danny Goffey and his wife Pearl Lowe (mother of Daisy). [Mirror]
• "It was the pills I was taking; they had my mood really fucked up. I was already depressed and with the drugs it just became a vicious cycle of depression. And as if my drug problem wasn't bad enough, when Proof died it was like, 'Son of a bitch, what I am going to do now?' I went through a lot when he died. It was the worst time in my life. It just gave me a real legitimate excuse, in my head at least, to use drugs. I didn't care if my drug problem got worse at that point so I took more pills. And the more I said fuck it and took more pills, the higher my tolerance got. The higher my tolerance got, the more I needed those pills in my body just to feel normal and not feel sick. It's a vicious cycle. I got over it all last year. I ended up coming out of all that shit that was cluttering my mind and as I came up out of the haze from the pills and everything, shit started to get clearer." — Eminem, whose album, Relapse, drops tomorrow. [Guardian]
• "It feels a little too self-loathing to me. When I go back and listen to it… it just feels like I'm pissing and moaning about whatever. It sounds like in my head I feel like I have all these things to piss and moan about. And maybe I did, maybe I didn't, I don't know, but to actually bring that kind of shit to the forefront like that, I just don't agree with it." — Eminem on his last album, Encore. [Guardian]
• "One of the main connections I had with my character was that journey that you go through when you're about to have a baby. I could relate to the people giving you so much information that you didn't need or want or ask for and also having some of it be completely outrageous." — Maya Rudolph, on her film, Away We Go, which also stars John Krasinski. [UPI]
• "Some girls were mean. They made fun of me because I dressed differently. Nuns ran my school, so I was suppressing this part of myself for a long time. It wasn't until later that I realized my true passions were music, art and performance... definitely shock art." — Lady GaGa. [Daily Mail]
• "I don't know if I'm fashion-obsessed. I think when I'm working, yes, but when I'm at home I usually wear the same thing every day. I have my straight-leg jeans and a pair of Christian Louboutins and a little jacket and a white shirt. I get sent about 15 designer bags a month. I can only imagine how much they cost. Even I wouldn't buy some of them." — Beyoncé. [Mirror]
• Speaking of age, you turn 49 next week. You're famously candid about aging, especially for an actress. "They did tell me to shut up a long time ago: 'You mustn't say you're 35, say you're 30.' I thought, 'This is ridiculous! Why should I?' In English and American cinema, people my age are immediately categorized into either campy, kind of clowny middle-aged women making them appear much older than they really do look or you're playing someone's grandmother. In Europe, we have this fantastic tradition of really enjoying women over 40, of that not being a taboo at all - people like Catherine Deneuve. Look at [Pedro] Almodóvar, the way he films women with such care and affection. The filmmakers here just love women who've been around a bit longer, they make those wrinkles look beautiful. In English or American films, they just want you to be old and shut up." — Kristin Scott Thomas. [NY Daily News]

In my case, the answer is both "yes," and "not for very long." I went out with a guy named Ralph. When I told my friends about him, I always said his name extremely apologetically. Perhaps it's being a child of the 80s and immature, but it is really, really, really hard not to think about the phrase "ralphing" (i.e., vomiting) when I hear the name Ralph — and it's doesn't help that once, when he decided without my input that I really could deep throat if I tried, I puked on his crotchtal area. It also doesn't help that my two archetypical Ralphs are the nerdy kid from A Christmas Story and The Simpsons' Ralph Wiggum. I was never able to put my mental discomfort with his name aside long enough to shout it in intimate ecstasy, since it nearly always brought me out of the moment between the connotations of vomit, horn-rimmed glasses and nose-picking.

So, while I can't say I would never fuck a Ralph, I can't imagine doing so again — and, given that I already know I couldn't let go of the name the last time, I know there are guys I just shouldn't bother going out with down the line. So what names should I be avoiding? What's the name that you just couldn't bring yourself to say in bed?