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In Which A Woman Lets Her Date Drink Her Milk
New York, 7:07 PM
Tue Dec 15
73 posts in the last 24 hours
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In Which A Woman Lets Her Date Drink Her Milk |
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.
03/02/09
03/02/09
Breastfeeding is cozy and funny, as the Dogtanianah pulls some crazy faces while she's doing it.
Whereas with Mr Dogtanian it's sensual although we find the milk thing funny, not erotic, but then we're not po-faced about sex generally.
03/02/09
03/02/09
Wow. That's an amazingly rude response to someone sharing her own experience at your request.
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03/02/09
The whole thing was icky...except for that last line.
03/02/09
03/02/09
You want to get your new Mom freak on? Rock on! You want to let some stranger breastfeed? Whatever works for you.
You want to bring a guy you don't know home with your new baby in the next room? That seems potentially unsafe and a tad irresponsible.
03/02/09
Gotta agree with you. She probably did go with her gut and felt safe with the guy, but nevertheless with a baby in the pictures the stakes are much higher. If a woman is alone and goes with her gut, she is the only one who suffers if she misjudged. But when there's a baby in the picture who can't fend for itself I feel like it's a bit irresponsible.
Thankfully, nothing other than breast suckling obviously happened.
03/03/09
03/02/09
I'm probably bringing my own prejudices into play here, but when my children were young and at home, I didn't even introduce them to the men I was dating, and I never ever ever let a man spend the night when they were at home. Ever.
Her child may be too young for example-setting, but if this is her habit, I see her child watching a revolving door to mommy's bedroom.
03/02/09
03/02/09
I'm all for living your sex life on your own terms but she brought a stranger into her home where her child was. I couldn't care less about the milk stuff; mothers who nurse almost all do that milk-feeding thing.
She brought a stranger into her home where her child is. Yea as a mother, I'm judging that negatively.
YMMV.
03/02/09
Everybody needs to quit assuming that this woman is too stupid to live. She brought a friend of a friend home. She is an adult woman who had sex. Quit couching your judgment of her for sexual activeities in "I'm just worried about her safety" comments, it's ridic.
03/02/09
Word.
03/02/09
If she'd taken him to a hotel or sat in a car with her top pulled down and him latched on like a breast pump, it would be different. Instead, she brought him into her home.
I get that ya'll are all "I can do what I want!" etc. Whatever. She played with her child's safety. If that's part of "I can do what I want!", that's very sad.
03/02/09
No, that's not my issue. If you think that there is ever a time at which a person who is not you can be around your child safely, ever, than this is a judgment issue. If you think that you can safely introduce your child to other people, then you have to extend that right to her to do the same. If she has the right to have people in her house ever after having a child (and she does), then you aren't actually saying that her kid cannot be around strangers, you're saying that you don't trust her to make that determination for her own situation. And that is, to quote myself, assuming she's too stupid to live.
03/02/09
However, I just can't judge this lady for bringing this guy home. She was an informed adult who went on the recommendation of a friend. I can't say I'm interested in that particular fetish, but it sounds like he was pretty decent about the whole thing. I think she had enough evidence to reasonably believe that he was not going to harm her or her kid. She also had ANOTHER person in her home - her friend who was babysitting! - at the time.
You don't have to agree with her choices--if they're not for you, that's fine. But the stuff about "the morning news" is a little bit much for me personally. She had two relatively trustworthy grownups in the house while her child was sleeping. One was watching the child, and in another room, the other was enjoying her lactation. Her child was never in any immediate danger and the kid isn't going to be scarred for life. I just can't judge her for this.
03/02/09
03/02/09
I'm not particularly bothered by being on the opposite side of the popular viewpoint on this, either. To me, this (the stranger thing, not the breastfeeding adult thing) crosses the line.
YMMV. My opinions are my own.
03/02/09
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03/02/09
1. All men are not to be trusted. It's dangerous enough dating without babies, but once you have one, you really are taking a risk inviting men to your home.
2. Babies lives are more important than mothers'.
3. This woman is incapable of judging whether it is safe to bring a particular man home or not.
4. This woman obviously doesn't care about the safety of her baby by doing something so risky.
03/02/09
Re: 2 - Yes. Duh.
Speaking as a mother, I will tell you very emphatically, YES. My children's lives were and always will be more important than mine.
Putting your children's well being and best interests ahead of your own idea of a good time. It's a little something I like to call good parenting.
03/02/09
03/02/09
It also doesn't surprise me that there's a little bit of hypocrisy going on betwixt threads. I took hell over a comment I made about older women seducing young boys with impunity, while on plenty of other threads we're told to warn our younger sisters/friends/family about older male predators. Our sons aren't as important as our daughters, I guess.
I get that everyone wants to be hip and mod and okay with anything sexual between consenting adults. This wasn't just between consenting adults. This situation involved a woman taking a stranger to the home where her infant lived. I don't care how 'uncool' that makes me, I'm not going to be okay with that.
Other people can have their own opinions. That's mine.
03/02/09
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03/02/09
/Intertubes FAIL
03/02/09
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03/02/09
I just finished reading In Defense of Food - a lot of it was really intuitive, but it does make me realize humans have evolved to be able to eat LOTS of different foods, and that we need to eat lots of different foods to get the nutrients we need. I mean, it's really amazing to think about all the different kinds of fruits, vegetables, grains and meats that we can derive nutrients from. So yeah, that includes other animals' milk.
03/02/09
We're the only animals that manage it because we're AWESOME. Or more awesome than the stoats, anyway.
03/02/09
03/02/09
03/02/09
(I get that fluid exchange has a risk, but beside that concern I'm a bit surprised at some reactions to this.)
03/02/09
Otherwise, you know whatever floats people's boats.
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03/02/09
Okay, yes, I understand the concern now. But also think that this applies to all women who take men home, not just mothers...although I can see the added concern placed on mothers. And this is why I carry pepper spray and make all of my friends give me way too many details about dates and/or booty calls.
03/02/09
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If she was comfortable with him thinking this a good thing, then hooray for both parties! I'd only be offended if the man said "That's disgusting" and left.
03/02/09
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03/02/09
All of the examples are normal, natural bodily functions. I just don't understand why people would mention such functions to a virtual stranger.
So I think your judgment of "my perspective" is a little off-base.
03/02/09
Obviously, we have different perspectives on this.
03/02/09
03/02/09
I guess I'm old fashioned, as I am clearly in the minority on this.
03/02/09
Shit happens. Pun intended.
03/02/09
I also nursed discretely in public several times when the situation dictated it.
Feeding my child doesn't fall into the same category as tampons or shitting.
It made me feel beautiful and strong, not embarrassed.
03/02/09
Without menstruation you wouldn't have a child and without pissing and shitting you wouldn't be alive long enough to have one either.
Equality for all bodily functions!!!
I may have found my new cause
03/02/09
03/02/09
03/02/09
As for me, I know my husband's looking forward to when my milk comes in after having our baby. It weirds me out a little - but he's always been very GGG (Good Giving and Game) in a lot of ways - it'll be a new exeperience for both of us.
I dunno. I think people are more shocked that a breastfeeding single Mom was having a tryst than the breastfeeding thing. If you didn't know she was lactating, would you have expected her to be OK with not having her breasts licked, kissed, nuzzled and suckled? It's one my favorite activities sexually, and one I'd sorely (HA) miss in any encounter.
03/02/09
Yup, you hit the nail on the head here. And alot of the disapproving comments seem to imply that her breasts are the baby's property now, which is so simultaneously gross and symptomatic of modern motherhood that I don't even know what to say.
03/02/09
This is the kicker for me. The whole licking and suckling at nipples action is inherently related to breastfeeding in the first place. What's so adult and special and different when your husband/boyfriend/blind date licks and sucks at non-lactating nipples?