<![CDATA[Jezebel: rachel dratch]]> http://tags.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/jezebel.com.png <![CDATA[Jezebel: rachel dratch]]> http://jezebel.com/tag/racheldratch http://jezebel.com/tag/racheldratch <![CDATA[Lindsay & Sam Back Together; Madonna's Adopting Mercy]]>

  • Looks like Lindsay Lohan's stalking paid off: Her new Twitter message says:

"Leaving London but with my favorite favorite!!!" Then she was photographed at the airport with… Samantha Ronson. And another Tweet from LL reads: "Great news to share!! Maybe .... ;)" [People, The Sun]

  • Lindsay and Sam were seen holding hands while walking into the first class lounge. [Daily Mail]
  • Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are finito, which means Megan will have to get that tattoo removed. And! Megan may have hooked up with sparkle vamp Robert Pattinson, after which he blew her off. Dramz! [E!]
  • Madonna may be able to adopt Mercy after all?!?! A source says: "The paperwork is being typed up now." [Mirror]
  • A "friend" of Madonna's says: "She made a promise that she wouldn't give up on Mercy and, believe me, she could move mountains when she's this determined." [Telegraph]
  • By the by, someone has paid more than £15,000 for that lovely Peter Howson painting of naked Madonna and thuggish-looking Guy Ritchie. [The Star]
  • Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy: Definitely engaged. [Page Six]
  • Hold on to your panties, here are ten life-changing words: Simon Cowell remake of Saturday Night Fever starring Zac Efron. [Telegraph]
  • What is Chris Brown afraid of? He's been seen "surrounded by bodyguards" at all times lately — as many as five. [Page Six]
  • Miley Cyrus had to say goodbye to her main man, Justin Gaston, because she's heading off to Georgia to film a Nicholas Sparks movie. A post on the 16-year-old's Twitter read: "'my heart is in two... and its all because of you.' a song i am starting to write :)" As for 20-year-old Justin, his Twitter says: "Haven't been this miserable in a looong time." Remember, kids: Absence makes the heart go wander! [Us Magazine]
  • What a difference a day makes! Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt now claim that the reports of torture are "false and inaccurate." One thing is for sure: These people know how to get their names in the paper every damn day. [People]
  • Oh, God: When the show is over, Heidi Montag will launch a dry-shampoo line. [JustJared]
  • A Yankee insider bitches: "First we dealt with all the Madonna mayhem, now we're on to Kate [Hudson]. It's distracting." [MSNBC Sccop]
  • Kate Hudson and A-Rod left a club separately so no one would think they'd been together. [Page Six]
  • Today in "crazy cat lady" news: Susan Boyle will take her beloved kitty Pebbles with her on tour. [MSNBC Scoop]
  • Ugh, if you're interested in this, it's here: David Carradine's ex-wife reveals his "shocking" sex secrets — tying himself up, drowning himself and tattoos and piercings. [Radar Online]
  • Kelly Bensimon is off the hook regarding that assault case in which she allegedly hit ex-boyfriend Nicolas Stefanov in the face: the case was dismissed when Stefanov didn't show up to court. [E!]
  • More Real Housewife gossip: Countess LuAnn de Lesseps was seen making out wit h a guy in his 20s; Kelly Bensimon was seen nuzzling with Gerard Butler. [Gatecrasher]
  • After getting hit by scenery on stage at the Tonys, Bret Michaels suffered a fractured nose and had to have three stitches in his lip. [Gatecrasher]
  • Congrats to Gossip Girl's Kelly Rutherford, who gave birth to a baby girl last night. [Radar Online]
  • Olympic gymnast and Dancing With the Stars champ Shawn Johnson is mulling an offer to star in a film for kids. [E!]
  • David Letterman: About to sign a deal to continue hosting the Late Show for 3 more years. [Reuters]
  • On the movie Nine: "'It was an amazing experience,' says Fergie, who plays a prostitute. 'It was all about the character, not about me, so I could gain weight and not be self-conscious about it.'" [USA Today]
  • Prince Harry is supposedly dating TV presenter Caroline Flack, and she supposedly calls him by the codeword "Jam," because he's got jam-coloured hair and he's sweet." [The Sun]
  • Gossip and rumors from the set of the Robin Hood movie: Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott are "squabbling," ; Crowe had to go on a crash diet to lose 35 lbs because a producer said "We can't have Robin Hood looking more like Friar Tuck" ; they're totally not singing that oo-de-lally song. Boo. [Page Six]
  • Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas will leave their home on Bermuda to work on projects: He's starring in a movie about Liberace (?!?!) as well as the Wall Street sequel. [Telegraph]
  • Last week, Nadya Suleman bashed Kate Gosselin; this week, she feels bad about it. "I kind of self-reflected on why I did that, and I felt really guilty," Suleman says. "I was annoyed. I was fed up. I was probably misplacing my frustration about all of this invasive media crap onto her." Or: You missed the attention. Just a thought! [MSNBC]
  • Canceled NBC show My Name Is Earl might live on — with new episodes on TBS, the network which airs its repeats. [Reuters]
  • Househunting in London: Sacha Baron Cohen. [The Sun]
  • A hearing date has been set for Howard K. Stern — to determine if he must stand trial for illegally supplying Anna Nicole Smith with prescription drugs. Things begin in August. [Reuters]
  • Twilight author Stephenie Meyer has ditched her MySpace account. "It was a lot of fun while it lasted," she wrote on her official website. "With MySpace no longer in existence, I can now clearly state that...there is no other outlet where I communicate with people online," Meyer continued. "I do not have a Facebook page, and I have never had one. I don't do Twitter. So if you're communicating with someone online that you think is me, it's not." [E!]
  • Additional Twilight news: Disney star Selena Gomez and hunky native werewolf Taylor Launter: Splitsville. [UPI]
  • TV chef Gordon Ramsay called Aussie TV journalist Tracy Grimshaw a pig and a lesbian; she's calling him an "arrogant narcissist." It's a mess. [News.com.au]
  • Gordon Ramsay says the insults he made were "blown out of context." [Mirror]
  • Kelly Clarkson says she sympathizes with Susan Boyle: "She's from a small town, I'm from a smaller town. You have to focus on the people that are really positive around you. It takes time." [The Sun]
  • Liam Neeson is in talks to play Hannibal in the big-screen adaptation of A-team. Bradley Cooper might play Faceman. No word on Mr. T's involvement, but I pity the fool who thinks he can replace him. [Variety]
  • Bryce Dallas Howard has written a drama called The Originals, "an ensemble film about a group of twentysomethings who reconvene for a weekend in New York after learning that the teacher who shaped their childhoods has fallen into a mysterious coma." [The Hollywood Reporter]
  • The wife of baseball player Barry Bonds has filed for legal separation. [TMZ]
  • Phil Spector's wife says he is being treated "worse than an animal" in jail. It's not supposed to be enjoyable… [NME]
  • Uh, what? "Children as young as five were 'confused and worried' after teachers played them a recording of Elton John's 'Your Song' in an effort to explain homosexuality." [Mirror]
  • A silver menorah which once belonged to Sammy Davis Jr. failed to sell for $9,000 at auction. The Candy Man can't generate cash? [NY Times]
  • Blind item! "Which dreamy-eyed actor is embarrassed to admit he's hooking up with a hard-partying starlet?" [Gatecrasher]
  • "They wouldn't have my character back on the show. My character was born out of the '90s. It's a different era now." — Andrew Shue won't be on the new Melrose Place. [Gatecrasher]
  • "I think I'm either naive or insane to play her - maybe a little bit of both!" — Anne Hathaway on playing Judy Garland on Broadway. [Gatecrasher]
  • "Kids are not to be used as weapons. Deadbeat moms that sleep all day, seeking money, attention like 2 do so. Just hurts the kids in the end. Giving birth 2 a child doesn't make u a good mom. Taking care of them, loving them, waking up with them, spending time with them does." — Travis Barker's been Twittering not-so-subtle hints about his feelings towards Shanna Moakler. [Perez]
  • "She would have a plan on arrival anywhere and would be carving the best out of life and every situation and every person. She wasn't as much a passenger as I am, which made us great companions in life... because every driver needs a passenger and every passenger needs a driver. So it's a big loss in my life." — Uma Thurman on Natasha Richardson, to Harper's Bazaar UK. [Daily Express]
  • "Everybody's making it like there's all this tension, you know, like I stepped away from the band and now they're jealous of me, and look, maybe there is a little bit of that. But some fights aren't really what they seem." — Gwen Stefani on reuniting with No Doubt. [Mirror]
  • "It's one thing when you have an infant. But when you have this three-year-old going, 'Mommy, what's the deal?' it's harder. Kingston's whole thing is, 'I need, I need.' He is insane right now. We're just hoping for the best and that he's not going to turn out to be a freak, but we'll see." — Gwen Stefani, on being a working mom. [Mirror]
  • "Gwyneth is one of the most intelligent people I know. So motivating her to do something is not the issue. Learning to dance and get that lung capacity and endurance was the hardest part for her. She (complained) about the cardio. To this day, if she at all has had filming days, she'll always do it, but it's like, 'Ugh, we have to do the cardio.'" — trainer Tracy Anderson. [USA Today]
  • "I have always carried around in my mind, that he would ultimately be seen as a heroic figure. But I'm maybe kidding myself." — Michael Emerson, aka Ben Linus on Lost. [Mirror]
  • "Yes, she's never played a mother and she's playing a mother of three in this movie but that didn't scare me. I knew she was up for it. I'm more proud of her performance in the film than I am proud of things in my life." — Nick Cassavetes on Cameron Diaz in My Sister's Keeper. [Daily Express]
  • "Lately, I've been in meetings regarding a new script idea I have. A studio executive asked me to change the female lead to a male, because... 'women don't go to movies.' Really? When I pointed out the box office successes of Sex and The City, Mamma Mia, and Obsessed, he called them 'flukes.' He said 'don't quote me on this.' So, I'm telling everybody." — Nia Vardalos. [HuffPo]
  • ''People see me and they're like, 'Oh, you're so much prettier in real life!' And I'm like, 'Well, thanks.' It's definitely narrowed the opportunities, which is a bummer because... I want a job! I didn't enter this biz because I thought I was a supermodel. I entered because I liked finding out what makes people laugh.'' — Rachel Dratch, who doesn't exactly deny the rumor that she was supposed to be on 30 Rock, but the network wanted ''hotter'' actress Jane Krakowski instead. [EW]
  • It's hard to believe you're still on the D-list. "I have proof although I'm flattered at the suggestion that I could even be a C-minus. Recently, I was on tour and they delivered me a sandwich and it said Taffy Griffin. Now, I'd like to think that's maybe what they thought my stripper name was, but no. My name was on the marquee. Sold-out show. Taffy Griffin. I'm on the D-list where I belong… What is tough for me as a D-list celebrity is that kind of puts Speidi and me in the same category and that hurts. That's a bitter pill for me to swallow." — Kathy Griffin. [AP]
  • "I don't have to defend myself. What can you do against something that is totally different from what you really think? It was hard to live with that, because I'm not the person described in that ridiculous story. I was not happy that this story could hurt people. But I felt sorry for those French journalists-that was the thing. I felt sorry for journalism, in general. We live in a world where there is so much information, but what I said was taken out of context. It's so common for someone who gives interviews to say that, but a cliché becomes a cliché because it's true. Some of it was funny: the part where I thought that man didn't walk on the moon? Man, please! It's so ridiculous… I talked about being fascinated by Internet conspiracies, because they are fascinating. And I asked a question like that: 'Did man walk on the moon?' Because the conspiracies are out there, not because it's a question I believed." — Marion Cotillard, on the statements she made about September 11. [BlackBook]
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<![CDATA[Jimmy Fallon Visited By Grumpy Old Ladies]]> Last night, two old ladies who live below Jimmy Fallon's studio (played by Rachel Dratch and Amy Poehler) complained that filming a late night show in the apartment above causes too much of a ruckus.

Fallon promised them he'd try to keep it down and, to express their thanks, they gave him a treat... from under their blouses. Clip at left.

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<![CDATA[Drunk Fan Rushes Britney On Stage; Pattinson Has Penis Implant?]]>

  • A fan of Britney Spears rushed up on stage and tried to dance with Brit Brit on Saturday night in Connecticut. He was quickly surrounded by backup dancers and "escorted" away. There's video. [Perez]
  • The dude in question (at Britney's concert) was drunk. He was arrested for breach of the peace and also booked for being "highly uncooperative" while in custody. [Daily Mail]
  • Madonna's case in the adoption of Mercy James will be in the Malawi Supreme Court today. Will Mercy's biological father — who opposes the adoption — try to derail the proceedings? [Times of London, UPI]
  • Madonna and Demi Moore have bonded over Kabbalah and the fact that they both have younger men; a source says they're hoping to arrange a double date soon. Do you think they'll have milkshakes? One glass, four straws? [Daily Mail]
  • Madonna's daughter Lourdes hearts Lady GaGa! Madge and Lola went to Lady G's show in NYC and Lourdes was "singing along to every word." What's amusing is that since GaGa's megablonde and cartoonish, she's almost like a young Madonna, no? [Gatecrasher]
  • David Hasselhoff was rushed to the hospital for alcohol poisoning over the weekend. His 16-year-old daughter found him unconscious and he was "barely breathing" when they got to the emergency room. [Radar Online]
  • Amy Winehouse left the hospital — where she'd been after collapsing for dehydration — and went to a bar. [The Sun]
  • Angelina Jolie's "curved bullet kill" in Wanted has been nominated for an MTV Movie Award in a new category: Best WTF Moment. Possibly because MTV would love it if Angie showed up. [E!]
  • By the by: Andrew Morton, who penned biographies of Princess Di, Monica Lewinsky and Tom Cruise, will write about Angelina Jolie next. [Page Six]
  • Casey Aldridge, boyfriend and baby daddy to Jamie Lynn Spears, is out of the hospital after flipping his truck. A "source" says "They're both at the house in Liberty [Miss.]... Now Jamie Lynn will have two babies to care for." [E!, People]
  • "I'm not embarrassed about being bisexual," says Pink, according to this disreputable paper. [News Of The World]
  • Pink has Twittered: "I just read that I'm bisexual. So 1991. Good thing people write articles about me so I can get my facts [straight]." Apparently the interview with the News Of The World was "entirely fabricated." [NY Daily News]
  • Words you probably never thought you would see together: "Robert Pattinson's penis implant." [Yahoo News via Bang Showbiz]
  • Crap. Jenny McCarthy has inked a deal with Oprah Winfrey's Harpo Productions and will develop a talk show, which, of course, Jenny will host. What do you think she'll talk about? Autism? Anyone? [Yahoo News via Reuters]
  • Wolverine had an $87 million opening weekend, which is huge. But holding on to it might be tough: Star Trek opens this Friday. [NY Post]
  • Now that you've suffered through Wolverine, know this: Hugh Jackman will star in Ghostopolis, a flick about a man who works for the government's Supernatural Immigration Task Force. His job is to send ghosts who have escaped into our world back to Ghostopolis. It's what they call "high concept." [The Hollywood Reporter]
  • A writer hangs out with famed trainer Tracy Anderson: "According to Tracy, if I commit to an hour of her exercise regime six days a week, for the rest of my life, just like Gwynnie and Madge (whose remarkable bodies she proudly takes responsibility for), a 'teeny, tiny, lean and mean' figure will be mine. Voilà." [Daily Mail]
  • Scarlett Johansson's directorial debut — a segment for New York, I Love You — is going straight to DVD. It's being called "unwatchable" and a source says, "It was really bad, so it was cut." [Daily Mail]
  • Bethenny Frankel, one of the Real Housewives of New York, went out to a Hula-Hoop competition with a date… and the Times. She wore "a baby T and skin-tight Paige jeans." And said: ""My friends call me 'That Girl,' like Marlo Thomas. Like, I'm in New York trying to figure it out." [NY Times]
  • Real Housewife Kelly Bensimon says of her ex, the guy she allegedly gave a black eye: "What guy does that? He acted like he was Rihanna." Her attorney calls Nick Stefanov a "jilted moron." [Newser via NY Daily News]
  • Unsolicited uterus update: Elisabeth Hasselbeck says: "I'm definitely not paying attention to my pregnancy." That makes two of us! [People]
  • Jay-Z is living in post-racial America, you guys. He performed at the University of Arizona and later blogged: "On the show as well were Third Eye Blind and Kelly Clarkson ... I thought that had to be the oddest pairing ever, but soon realized it's what I've always professed. There's NO such thing as Black music or White music only Good or Bad music." [MTV via RapRadar.com]
  • Rihanna's new man is an ex; she was seeing Negus Sealy before she "made it." A source says: "He's a really smart guy - clever, good looking, very cool. All the girls adore him and call him the Love God." [Daily Mail, NY Post]
  • Victoria and David Beckham are house-hunting in Italy; he's been playing for AC Milan while Vicky and the kids stayed in L.A. since the boys are enrolled in CA schools, but now that summer's coming, it's Ciao, Hollywood. [Daily Mail]
  • John "The Player" Mayer is single again. It seems that model he was dating talked too much. To the press. Although who knows. [Gatecrasher]
  • Cindy Crawford's husband, Rande Gerber, is being sued for sexual harassment by two female employees at a San Diego business he owns. [Page Six]
  • Someone asked Russell Brand if he would shag reported virgin Susan Boyle. "I don't think I should be the one to do that," he said. "Susan deserves a nice strapping farmer from the North." Related: What is wrong with people?!?! [The Sun]
  • Gisele Bundchen rarely poses for pictures with her new husband Tom Brady: "Tom hates being photographed," she explains. [Gatecrasher]
  • Mark McGrath is no longer the host of Extra, so he's trying to make music again. Sugar Ray comeback album, people. Titled: Music For Cougars. Naturally. [Page Six]
  • Princess Eugenie was mugged in Cambodia. [Mirror]
  • Enrique Iglesias and his manager allegedly ran over the foot of an 11-year-old girl as they were leaving a radio station appearance back in 2007. Lawsuit alert! [TMZ]
  • A Little Britain movie could be coming to the United States. [The Sun]
  • Sting's daughter, Coco Sumner, fell and fractured her skull outside of a restaurant. She is recovering "well." [Daily Mail
  • Vanessa Hudgens has settled a breach of contract lawsuit filed against her by a producer who worked with her very early in her career. [UPI]
  • Another day, another claim that Coldplay's music is stolen. This time it's Cat Stevens — sorry — Yusuf Islam, who says: "There's been this argument about Coldplay stealing this melody from Joe Satriani, but, if you listen to it, it's mine! It's the Foreigner Suite, it is!" [The Sun]
  • An excerpt from a Paul Newman biography has details about the actor's relationship with Joanne Woodward — which started when he was married to someone else. "I was probably too immature to make a success of my first marriage," Newman allegedly said. "Guilty as hell" was how he described himself about his first marriage, adding: "And I'll carry it with me for the rest of my life." [Daily Mail]
  • Blind item: "Which D-list rapper got in a hemp, er, heap, of trouble with event sponsors when he lit up a joint at their bash? They couldn't kick him out because he was the 'big' celebrity name of the night, but they didn't end up paying him." [Gatecrasher]
  • "Famous female singers tend to moan and whine a lot about being famous. Damn, I'm Pink and my bank account hasn't seen a red zero for a long time, and I can do what I love best — sing. Isn't that something that makes life better?" — Pink. [News Of The World]
  • "When you come to film in Rome, the official statement to you is that the Vatican has no influence. Everything progressed very smoothly, but unofficially a couple of days before we were to start filming in several of our locations, it was explained to us that through back channels and so forth that the Vatican had exerted some influence. Was I surprised? No. Am I a little frustrated at times? Sure." — Ron Howard, on shooting Angels & Demons. [AP]
  • "It is good fun and the part feels like it was written for me. Chuck has witty lines, gets to dress up and has very nice clothes […] [Sometimes] I [keep and] wear the suits. They're killer, don't you think? There is a lot of stuff I wouldn't wear, but he really puts it together very well. The whole outfit just comes together as an interesting look." — Ed Westwick. [Mirror]
  • "Nia is like a rock star over there. You walk down the streets of Greece and people just go nuts, it's like you're with Tom Cruise or something." — Rachel Dratch, who is in the new Nia Vardalos flick, My Life In Ruins. [CBS News]
  • "I've always rather admired you but now I realise you're an absolute ——. I'm only sorry I didn't get a chance to kick you when I fell over – maybe next time." — Judi Dench, in response to a critic who called her latest play "deeply dodgy" and "fit only for pretentious masochists." [Telegraph]
  • "All of these shows are derivative of the shows that we used to do. The topics, some of the story lines, they're all very similar to what we did every day on the show for 11 years. When you have dynamic people that have some sort of conflict and put them in a confined space together, it's bound to be dramatic." — Ricki Lake, new host of Charm School, thinks the reality genre is a lot like her old talk show. [NY Daily News]
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<![CDATA[Amy And Rachel: Lovely Ladies, Funny Friends]]>

[Park City, Utah. January 16. Image via Getty.]

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<![CDATA[Katie Holmes Claims To Be In Control]]>

  • Holy Xenu! Katie Holmes looks freakin awesome on the cover of T: The New York Times Style Magazine. She claims she is not the pawn of Tom Cruise: "There's a misperception about me that I just became this wallflower, this woman who doesn't have any control of her life. "And that's pretty wrong. From the very beginning, I've made choices in my life that have been very strong." Plus: "When I met Tom I was completely in love and, yes, I admired him growing up — he's Tom Cruise! When I met him, he was so warm and I thought, Wow! You can be a superstar and a human being. He made me feel so amazing." [People]
  • Another glamorous shot of Katie, and one of Tom Cruise, from T Magazine. [Pop Sugar]
  • Amy Winehouse has "escaped" from her hospital bed and went to a recording studio and a friend's house before returning to the hospital "in the early hours." Sneaky! [The Sun]
  • Alex Rodriguez speaks! About his relationship with Madonna! "We're friends – that's it. I've been to two [of her] concerts, yet I've read that I went to 20. I've also read that we were buying an apartment together. That is absolutely ridiculous and not true." [People]
  • ¡Caliente! Rumor has it Shakira will perform at Barack Obama's inauguration in January. [Perez Hilton]
  • Boy George: Found guilty! He falsely imprisoned a Norwegian male escort after a nude photoshoot, and will be sentenced January 16. [Yahoo News, Mirror,
  • The escort told the court that Boy George yelled at him: "Fucking whore! Now you're going to get what you deserve." Guardian]
  • Apparently Jennifer Aniston went on Oprah and talked about an Obama cake that she'd made? John Mayer says: "Jen and I made that cake together. She didn't really give me any credit for that cake. I was the architect on that cake. I put a lot of my time in designing that cake. I was a good man. I shared the process. From mixing to frosting….[she] took all the credit." He adds what seems to be a lame joke: "There's some trouble but we're getting over it…We're having therapy everyday in Brentwood…and we're figuring this out because that was my time to shine on Oprah." [Perez Hilton]
  • Speaking of Oprah: Contrary to reports, her show may not end in 2011. "I'm not done!" she says. "I'm a very multi-dimensional woman. I can do a show. I can have OWN [the Oprah Winfrey Network]. I can have a magazine. I can do radio." You tell 'em! [UPI]
  • Beyoncé's on the cover of Elle and admits that having a kid scares the crap out of her: "I'm terrified of having a child," she says. m terrified of delivering a child because I saw my nephew being born. That traumatized me. I'm only 27. I've got time." [People]
  • Jennifer Hudson, who has been in seclusion since members of her family were killed, was nominated for four Grammys on Wednesday. She says: "It's been a childhood dream of mine to release an album, so to receive four Grammy nominations is truly a blessing. I am extremely honored and humbled by the nominations." [AP]
  • George Clooney has a crush on a waitress. Also: The sky is blue. [The Sun]
  • By the by, Clooney just raised £10 million for the victims of Darfur at a fancy London party. Guests included Matt Damon, Scarlett Johansson, Cindy Crawford, Sarah Ferguson, Bono and Guy Ritchie. [Daily Mail]
  • Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes movie is disrupting residents of one street in London, and they want to reduce the number of days he can shoot there. They'd also love it if Guy would give them some cash. [Daily Express]
  • Kate Moss is throwing a party to announce that she is pregnant?!? [ONTD]
  • David Duchovny and Tea Leoni were spotted taking their kids out for frozen yogurt in New York and being lovey-dovey. It seems they may move into a new apartment together this month and are "working on" their relationship. [Star]
  • If you care to see the impossibly sunny, blonde, annoying pictures of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt on their honeymoon, go ahead and click, you will not be judged. [Just Jared]
  • Spencer is pissed that Heidi's mom is "furious" about the wedding and says he won't visit the in-laws for the holidays: "After that statement, the Pratts, as in Heidi Pratt and Spencer Pratt, will probably have their own Christmas tree out here," he says. Of course, all of this seems to be part of the "script" for The Hills. So. [E!]
  • Shia LaBeouf had to drop out of a new film because "his hand is totally shattered, it’s much worse than anyone thought." He needs more surgery, you guys. [Fox 411]
  • Was The House Bunny a hit? Anna Faris is "capitalizing" on it by lining up two new projects; a female buddy comedy and a romantic comedy. [Hollywood Reporter]
  • Amy Adams will star in the film adaptation of the novel The Ten Best Days Of My Life, about a woman who dies and goes to heaven, but has to prove her worth by recounting her 10 best days. [Variety]
  • The National Board of Review has named Anne Hathaway 2008's best actress for Rachel Getting Married; Slumdog Millionaire was best picture. [People]
  • No one wants to live in the SoHo loft where Heath Ledger died. Even if you have $26,000 a month, you can't rent it now — it's temporarily off the market. [TMZ, Page Six]
  • Heather Locklear was on The Tonight Show and admitted that she had a tough year. But! She has a sense of humor about her pill-popping DUI bust. "I've been better, but I'm good today," she said. And when Jay Leno asked if she would have done differently this year, she joked: "I would have stayed in my house." [People]
  • Grey's Anatomy fans can find out a big secret about Denny's "afterlife love affair with Izzie" by clicking this link. [EW]
  • Blythe Danner made oral sex jokes at a cocktail reception in honor of the Bruce Paltrow Oral Cancer fund. She lost her husband to the disease six years ago. [WWD]
  • Miley Cyrus is not divorcing her parents, but if she did, it would be a lot easier for the 16-year-old to date a 20-year-old underwear model. [Yahoo News via E!]
  • Jim Carrey, Spike Lee, Amy Poehler, Twilight's Kristen Stewart, Richard Gere, Zooey Deschanel, and Ashton Kutcher are among the stars with flicks in the Sundance Film Festival. Will there be a breakout indie hit this year? [USA Today]
  • Former SNL star Rachel Dratch is in a musical, and it might go to Broadway. "It's about a burlesque club the cops are trying to shut down," she says. "It has crazy burlesque dancing and clever dance numbers. I'm not in them, I just watch." [NY Mag]
  • Cops are looking for 2 people in the shooting of Mark Ruffalo's brother, though a motive has not been released. [AP]
  • Bob Dylan's room at the famed Chelsea Hotel in New York: Destroyed. Sledgehammered and ripped up, in the name of renovations. [Gothamist]
  • Someone is suing Dixie Chicks singer Natalie Maines for defamation, and it has to do with the 1993 murders of three boys. [AP]
  • Kathy Griffin tried to smooth things over with Clay Aiken, whom she called Gayken in her standup act, way before he came out, and she claims: "I would have to say he was not very nice." [E!]
  • Some dumb paparazzi asked Robin Williams' daughter Zelda why her dad wasn't partying with her: "You don't take an alcoholic out to a club," she explained. Also, why would she be clubbing with her dad? [TMZ]
  • Rocker Joe Satriani is suing Coldplay, accusing the band of plagiarizing one of his songs. [Yahoo News]
  • David Hasselhoff's ex wife: Kicked out of the Hoff's house. By a judge. [TMZ]
  • The Real World: Brooklyn is coming to MTV January 7th. The "strangers" living in the house are an Iraq war veteran, a former beauty queen, a hip hop dancing hippie, a punk rock Mormon, a dolphin trainer, a computer geek, an abs model and an advocate for victims of abuse. Good luck! [MTV.com]
  • Not a joke: Pete Doherty will replace Pete Townshend in The Who. For one night only. For charity. [The Sun]
  • Did you know that before Madonna was cast in Evita, Michelle Pfeiffer had the role? Click to hear her sing some demo tracks. [ONTD]
  • Erik Estrada must love being, not just playing a cop: He'll be working the night shift at the Muncie Police Department in Indiana this week. [USA Today]
  • UK's Channel 4 is poking fun at the death of Princess Diana? [Daily Mail]
  • RIP Paul Benedict, also known as Bentley from The Jeffersons. [AP]
  • "I was separated from my dad for most of my life, but we forgave each other for whatever had happened. It’s huge for me. He’s been the most supportive dad. No matter what has happened, he’s always been there. And especially right now - he’s been so great. He really helped me out." — Evan Rachel Wood, who reunited with her father over Thanksgiving. [Perez Hilton]
  • "I knew I wanted to marry Kate when I met her. After our very first date, I was sure. At one point, I thought she was going to ask me to marry her first and I cut her off by changing the subject. I wanted to ask her." — Tom Cruise in T: The New York Times Style Magazine. [People]
  • "I've been recording in between periods of romantic torture, which is the concept of this album. Writing these songs has been my saving grace. I have felt in the past like a marionette. This album is my freedom. When you're in love, you've found your soul mate, you think life is going one way, and suddenly it's completely apparent it's not. You have to rethink your whole purpose." — Scott Weiland on his solo album, Happy In Galoshes. [USA Today]
  • "Our behaviour is changing. Look at how we re-use and recycle. I want to see people at movie premieres wearing outfits they’ve had for 10 years." — Sigourney Weaver, on how Hollywood can cope with the economic crisis. [Daily Express]
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<![CDATA[Spring Breakdown Reflects A Break Down For Women In Comedies]]> Just over a year ago I wrote a post about the dearth of female-driven comedies, and mentioned that I was excited about Spring Breakdown, the Warner Brothers comedy starring Amy Poehler, Parker Posey, and Rachel Dratch. I remembered the movie the other day and went to IMDB to see when it was going to be released. Well the answer seems to be "never," at least not on the big screen. Spring Breakdown, about three geeky women who try to relive the crazy college days they never had, is going straight to DVD. Women & Hollywood blogger Melissa Silverstein and I try to figure out why Spring Breakdown is getting the short shrift, After the jump.

When I heard about the straight to DVD treatment, my first instinct was to cry sexism. I assumed that movie studios were not going to release the film because even after the moderate success of Baby Mama, they believe a woman-led comedy will not sell. But then I thought about it some more, and had another revelation: maybe I'm the one being sexist.

I was raging to a friend about Spring Breakdown not getting a proper release, and he said, "Maybe it's just not very good." That floored me. Maybe it's just. Not. Very. Good. That made me remember a comment made in the post I did about the Bride Wars trailer. If you'll recall, I found the trailer played to all the worst Bridezilla-ish stereotypes, and to that a commenter made some very good points, but then also a very bad one. "It might have gotten dumbed down and crappified, but there might actually be a good movie hiding behind the obnoxious trailer. Wouldn't be the first time. And, like Baby Mama, just the fact that it's a big budget comedy starring 2 women is a big big deal," the commenter argued. I was nodding my head in agreement, until this part: "Hopefully in a few years we'll have tons of good, bad, and mediocre female-driven comedies, but for now don't be so quick to shit on a movie written by, produced by, and starring women."

The idea that we should judge comedies written by, produced by, and starring women by a different rubric than comedies created by men is the worst kind of sexism — it's the sexism of diminished expectations.

Melissa hasn't seen Spring Breakdown, but she's not positive it's a stinker, either, by anyone's rubric. Here's what she had to say:

It's been done forever and I thought it was supposed to come out last spring around spring break which would have been perfect. So the fact that it's been sitting on the shelf for a while is not good news. Many movies, especially women's films have difficulty breaking into the market because there are just not enough theatres so even getting a DVD release is good for some people. This year films by Michelle Pfeiffer (the Amy Heckerling film- I Could Never Be Your Woman) and films that starred Meg Ryan and Diane Keaton have been dumped to DVD.

But those were smaller films. Spring Breakdown is from Warner Brothers which only really knows how to release guy centric blockbusters. I think that the could release it and still make $20 [million] because its a comedy and its got Amy who is almost as big a Tina now. I'm sure there are many political issues that I know nothing about and I don't know if the film is a piece of crap. Baby Mama was good, not great, in my book but made money (and would make so much more now).

With women's films you are screwed either way, first you don't want to release a bad movie starring and about women, especially a comedy because there are so few of those. I can just see the Judd Apatow fraternity rolling their eyes at a bad women's comedy. Why give Hollywood more ammunition to think we aren't a market?

But we don't know if it is bad. I see comedies differently than my male counterparts. Maybe I would think it was funny even though the suits at Warners or the test audiences in Las Vegas or some other place didn't. Who knows?

Melissa also notes that Bride Wars was not written and directed by women — it had women as co-writers (it was directed by Gary Winick and written by Casey Wilson, June Diane Raphael and Greg DePaul). However, she also thinks there should be room for the crappy chick flicks alongside the female-driven comedies and dramas. "We need all kinds of women's movies, just like we get all types of men's movies," Melissa stresses. "I just wish we had more good scripts and more opportunities to see women on screen. Is that too much to ask for in 2008?" No, no it's not.

Spring Breakdown [IMDB]
Women & Hollywood

Earlier: Bride Wars An Insult To Women, Brain Cells
The Stepfordization Of Hollywood's Comely Comediennes

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<![CDATA[The Baby Mama Premiere Was Chock-Full Of Hot Mamas]]> It's safe to say that, by this point, everyone knows everything they need to know about Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's new movie, Baby Mama. But did you know that it opened last night at the Tribeca Film Festival? And that, in addition to Fey (left) and Poehler, SNL peeps Rachel Dratch, Molly Shannon and Lorne Michaels were also there? Don't care? How about these names: Faye Dunaway, Sigourney Weaver, Padma Lakshmi, Kristen Bell and Fred Durst? Yup, all those folks and more in the full Good, Bad and Ugly of the Baby Mama premiere, after the jump.







The Good:
babymamachristinelahti42308.jpgChristine Lahti looks classy in her red shift, albeit somewhat stiff.


babymamadanicapatrick42308.jpgDanica Patrick's dress is exactly what "flirty and feminine" should be.


babymamafayedunaway42308.jpgFaye Dunaway is still rocking her Bonnie and Clyde look. But whatever: It works for her.


babymamafreddurst42308.jpgFred Durst's ladyfriend has a pretty dress.


babymamahollandtaylor42308.jpgIs it weird that I would like Holland Taylor's dress? It's so old-school cool.


babymamamaggiegrace42308.jpgI'll take Maggie Grace's Audrey Hepburn-esque dress too, thanks.


babymamakristenbell42308.jpgWhat a relief to see a starlet not in a boob-flaunting dress. Thanks, Kristen Bell.


babymamalornemichaels42308.jpgPlease God let these be Lorne Michaels' daughters.


babymamamollyshannon42308.jpgMolly Shannon's mod-styled dress and cutie-pie husband are both winners in my book.


babymamaracheldratch42308.jpgRachel Dratch once helped me hide when the Arctic Monkeys' publicist attempted to throw me out of a Saturday Night Live after-party. Her sweet dress is clearly a representation of her sweet-as-can-be disposition.


Tina Fey is like an old-fashioned glamor girl in this dress. (So why can't she seem to relax and enjoy it?)


The Bad:
babymamaamypoheler42308.jpgHonestly, Amy Poehler's dress could be indeed hiding a bump.


babymamaannabellasciorra423.jpgAnnabella Sciorra is bordering on caricature in the vampy dress and tousled bedroom waves.


babymamapadma42308.jpgThough I love Padma, I do not approve of her styled-by-Lauren-Conrad-esque look.


babymamasigourney42308.jpgSigourney Weaver: The elementary school art teacher you never knew you had.


The Ugly:
babymamaalicekremelberg4230.jpgDear Alice Kremelberg: Your moccasin booties sure do look comfy. But why are you wearing them outside of your house?

[Images via Getty.]

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<![CDATA[ Rachel Dratch is understandably bummed right...]]> Rachel Dratch is understandably bummed right now. After the Vanity Fair issue with Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and Dratch's other SNL compatriots landed in her mailbox, Rachel told New York, "Dude, that was a dark day. I was like, Oh, there's everyone I worked with." Dratch is the only female SNL alum from the aughts who has been chronically unemployed. "I'm starting to go crazy. I'm ready for a job," Dratch added. Is Dratch's downtime due to her not-ready for primetime looks? Is it okay for a woman to be funny, but only if she's also conventionally "hot"? [New York]

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