• In an interview with the German magazine Das Neue Angelina Jolie said, "I doubt that fidelity is absolutely essential for a relationship. It's worse to leave your partner and talk badly about him afterwards..."

"Neither Brad nor I have ever claimed that living together means to be chained together. We make sure that we never restrict each other," she says, adding, "The sparks fly at home if the nice Brad fails to see that he's wrong and reacts in a defiant way. Then I can get so angry that I tear his shirt." So all those stories about "the fight to end all fights" are true?! [Lost something was in the translation me think. — Dodai] [The Telegraph]

• Lawyers have requested that court documents relating to "a minor and allegations of domestic violence" be sealed in the Courtney Love/Frances Bean Cobain custody case. The papers refer to sealing Frances' medical records and earlier the judge issued a temporary restraining order prohibiting Courtney from contacting her daughter. [TMZ]
• The Heenes were sentenced to jail time and four years probation for the Balloon Boy hoax. Richard Heene got 30 days in jail and 60 days of work release. Mayumi Heene will serve 20 days after Richard is freed. They've both been barred from profiting from the hoax during that time. In a tearful apology after his sentencing, Richard said, "I'm very, very sorry. And I want to apologize to all the rescue workers out there, and the people that got involved in the community." AP]
• As mentioned earlier, after 23 years together Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon have broken up. They have two sons. [TMZ]
• Roman Polanski is suing several French magazines for $110,000 in damages for publishing pictures of him under house arrest in Switzerland. [Contact Music]
• Brittany Murphy's body has arrived at Forest Lawn Memorial Park, where she will be buried tomorrow. [TMZ]
• Brittany Murphy's home is now a stop on the Haunted Hollywood tours route. [TMZ]
• Brittany Murphy sang two songs in Happy Feet and now music executives are digging to find any unreleased songs she may have recorded. "Depending on what she may have recorded and what kind of quality it is, she could end up having a hit song or two," says a source. [E!]
• The DVD rental company redbox is sending out teams to remove promotional posters of Brittany Murphy posed lifeless in a bathtub for her movie Deadline from 19,000 kiosks. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Hudson's rep says she actually isn't pregnant with her second child. "Jennifer leaves in April for South Africa where she will portray Winnie Mandela in the feature film, Winnie. It is a commitment she is excited about and takes very seriously," says her rep, who adds, "Jennifer is currently in the studio recording her second album and this is the only delivery she is looking forward to in 2010." [People]
• Kate Gosselin has been cut from the pilot of the View-like show Mom Logic for being too controversial. There were rumors that Paula Deen was annoyed that Kate was detracting attention from her and a source says, "There was a lot of arguing." [Radar Online]
• Cheryl Cole of Girls Aloud says she doesn't regret calling Lily Allen a "chick with a dick" because "She called my husband 'horrendous'. Then she called [bandmate] Nicola 'ugly'. For another female artist to call you ugly is so awful. Nicola's been called 'ginger' all her life, then she makes something of herself and everyone calls her the 'ugly one'." [Contact Music]
• Is Natalie Portman dating her Thor co-star Chris Hemsworth? [Contact Music]
• No, Natalie Portman's rep says they're not together. [Contact Music]
• Johnny Knoxville and his girlfriend Naomi Nelson welcomed son Rocko Akira Clapp on Sunday. [People]
• Quentin Tarantino has already written 40 pages of an Inglourious Basterds prequel. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Asher Roth says, "I hate to disappoint and take away the entertainment of it all but I am straight, not gay. It's disheartening to know such news on someone's personal life can be portrayed as fact with no viable source. This, to me, is an opportunity to expose our vulnerability to lies and manipulation through unprofessional and irresponsible news outlets, in which people consider TRUTH. Further, someone's sexual orientation should NEVER be big news, as it delivers a troubling message to children that they can't be themselves without fear of judgement." [Popcrunch]
• Cher is auctioning her home in Hawaii, which features an infinity pool and spa, four "bungalow living suites," a "media bungalow" with a bar, and ocean views, for about $10 million next month. [TMZ]
• Morgan Freeman bought himself a private jet. [Gulf New]
• The following actors will present at the Golden Globes: Jennifer Aniston, Julia Roberts, Mickey Rourke, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Robert De Niro. [People]
• Shane Sparks' mug shot is unremarkable: [TMZ]
• Jude Law says of taking over for Heath Ledger in The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, "When I got the call, it was a double tug. I liked Heath very much as a man and admired him as an actor. To help finish his final piece of work was a tribute I felt compelled to make." [People]
• A source says of the Jackson family Christmas, "It was to be a quiet, sombre holiday this year but Janet has stepped in to make it just like Michael did - fun. Michael loved Christmas. He was like a big kid and now Janet has taken that on. She must have spent thousands on trees, decorations and the kind of toys Michael would have love to be fooling around with on Christmas morning." [Contact Music]
• Kate Hudson says, "We go to Colorado every year where we grew up and just hang out. It's a great time because it's the one time when we all really get together. I can't wait to see who gets in the first argument, that's always a good one. There's always going to be one argument. There's always going to be the one that everybody's worried about in the family - always! There's always somebody saying, 'I'm really concerned about your brother or I'm really concerned about Aunt so-and-so!'" [Contact Music]
• "We usually open our presents first thing in the morning. I'm like a kid at this time of year and I just can't wait. I literally believed in Santa Claus until I was around 16! My mom still puts a stocking out for me so I can still pretend." — Paris Hilton [Contact Music]
• Elle reporter: "Imagine you had the ability to see the number of a woman's sexual partners on her forehead. What's the highest number you could see and still take her seriously?" Matthew Morrison of Glee : "I want a really classy kind of woman, so the number's going to be low. Four, I think." Elle reporter: "Four? I'm racking my brain to think of a place where you'd even be able to find adult women with numbers that low." [SF Weekly]

• Lindsay Lohan thew a fit at the G-Star runway show:

She arrived with sister Ali in tow, wouldn't pose for photos and didn't like her seats. So, naturally, she threw the seating cards for Juliette Lewis, Christian Siriano, and Taylor Momsen on the floor. When event producers tried to approach her, she sniped, "Don't fucking touch me," and rolled her eyes. Of course, I found pix of her posing so grain of salt. [Page Six]

• Mischa Barton was at the G-star after party, drunk and saying "Like, I'm with the deejay. I totally know the deejay. I'm here for the deejay." [Page Six]
• Kanye West and Lady Gaga were supposed to start a Fame Kills tour later this fall, but it looks like Kanye may have been serious about taking some time off: Tour date listings have been removed from the Ticketmaster website. [LA Times]
• Pink has a separated shoulder! "It hurts," she says. She couldn't do any of the aerial parts of her trapeze-oriented show in Seattle on Tuesday night, but won't cancel tour dates. [People]
• Katie Holmes took Suri to Beyoncé's concert in Australia on Tuesday night, and Suri wore "industrial earmuffs." [News.com.au]
• Jennifer Lopez was spotted at the White House "with an entourage bigger than President Obama's Secret Service detail." [NY Daily News]
• Chris Brown's community service has begun; click for a pic of him in an orange vest. He doesn't seem too… contrite; he Tweeted, "check out my outfit." [Ny Daily News]
• Why haven't we seen Mo'Nique promoting new film Precious? She will be on the Today show this morning, but she wasn't at the Toronto Film festival (Mariah Carey, Gabby Sidibe, Sherri Shephard, and Paula Patton were there) and rumors are that she wants to be paid for appearances. A studio spokesperson says it isn't true. [Showbiz 411]
• Charlize Threron is naked in the opening scene of her new film, The Burning Plain but says: "I'm not some exhibitionist. I think people think I just love walking around naked. When you start making it about yourself, you stand in the way of doing your job. I have to sit in an editing room with [director] Guillermo Arriaga and a bunch of execs, and if I had to sit there and think about myself and these men watching me, I think that would make me insecure. I'm just like every other girl out there. I would cringe." And: "There was a time in my life where I understood actors who said they don't like watching themselves. But when I made the mental switch that I was not watching myself and watching an actual character, that was the day I actually could look at things from a distance." [USA Today]
• "The uncle Desperate Housewives star Teri Hatcher helped put behind bars for molesting two girls has died in prison." [Daily Express]
• Sean Penn and beyond foxy Sports Illustrated model Jessica White: "Together all the time." [NY Daily News]
• Jason Schwartzman's new HBO show, Bored To Death, his most high-profile roles ever. Although he also loves books and music, acting gives him focus: "When I all of sudden became a part of Rushmore, it was like a giant acupuncture needle or something. It just put everything in line for me. It was like going to the emotional chiropractor. I was so disjointed as a teenager, from being unpopular or from being not the guy that girls liked - just feeling like an outsider, just being a dork." [AP]
• Nicole Kidman will star in The Danish Girl, about the first man to undergo a sex-change operation in 1931. I know it's early but I have to say that I'm sort of scared about the medical technology back then and its proximity to genitalia. [NY Daily News]
• Bruce Willis and wife: Moving into L.A.'s new Carlyle Residences, where apartments go for $2.9-$15 million. The new pad has a private wine cellar and elevator. [E!]
• Rod Stewart's son Sean was a riding in a $200,000 Bentley on Sunset Boulevard in L.A. when his friend wrecked the car. Sean was renting it from Beverly Hills Rent-A-Car for $2,500 a day. [TMZ]
• Jasmine Guy: Deep in debt, thanks to a divorce. In related news, she has joined the cast of the new CW show Vampire Diaries as the GRANDMOTHER of one of the characters. A different world, indeed. [TMZ, Buddy TV]
• Director Jane Campion got an admiring letter from Quentin Tarantino about her latest effort, Bright Star. "It was a love letter, really, about the film," she says. "I am really touched. He is one of my biggest heroes of the current generation, I think he is a genius so it was surprising." Asked about what it takes to make movies likes hers, Campion said with a smile: "I am not very submissive." [Reuters]
• Joe Francis tried to crash a party being thrown by Frankie Delgado but was thrown out, mostly because Frankie is bff with Brody Jenner and Brody and Joe had a scuffle a couple of weeks ago. Related: I don't care about any of these people. [E!]
• "Fuming Barbra Streisand fans claim she rigged a 'cute pet competition.' so one of her friends could win priceless tickets to her upcoming Village Vanguard show." [Page Six]
• Burt Reynolds, who just went into rehab, is already out, it seems. [Reuters, Mirror]
• Jon Bon Jovi totally understands why former members of Nirvana are upset about Kurt Cobain's character in Guitar Hero 5 being able to play songs by other bands in the game. "I don't know that I would have wanted it either. To hear someone else's voice coming out of a cartoon version of me? I don't know. It sounds a little forced." [BBC News]
• "Paul McCartney topped a poll of Americans' favorite Beatles, but nearly a quarter of those surveyed said they didn't like the British rock group." [Reuters]
• Katie "Jordan" Price named her celebrity rapist on camera but "terrified" lawyers banned his identity from being broadcast. [The Sun]
• Q. After you dropped out of school at 16, you were a drummer in a punk rock band. What was that like? "It was a wild time. It involved a lot of drinking and fighting, but I'm not sure if I was being a punk rocker or just Scottish." — Craig Ferguson. [USA Today]
• "She looked like Rachel Zoe gone horribly wrong! It proves the point that you can judge a person by the company they keep- or don't keep. "It's painfully apparent that Jesus may be able to turn water into wine, but your basic blow dryer eludes him." — Madonna's brother, Christopher Ciccone, on his sister's look at the VMAs. [E!]
• Q. Did you really write the book's first chapter on your iPhone? "I actually did. I was amazed it had this little keyboard in it. I'm a techno-moron and it had this keyboard that spellchecked as you wrote. It was a good way to start writing the novel because I wasn't taking it seriously, I was just checking out my phone. The rest I wrote by hand." — Nick Cave on his second novel, The Death of Bunny Munro. [Time]
• "It's always so hard for me to describe a film I'm in, as it's so subjective. It's about a lot of different people living in Paris, and a mix of many sides of life, not all happy ones. If you don't go to the bottom, you don't know what joy is, and to explore life you have to plunge head first and take risks. And the way we're brought up with this whole view of life as black and white, good and bad, is completely false, because in life everything is transformable, and something bad can actually be very good, and vice versa. So it's about all those ideas." — Juliette Binoche on her new film, Paris. [Reuters]
• "Yeah. But I don't want to elaborate. I would never call myself a cutter. Girls go through different phases when they're growing up, when they're miserable and do different things, whether it's an eating disorder or they dabble in cutting… I never think I'm worthy of anything... I have a sick feeling of being mocked all the time. I have a lot of self-loathing." — Megan Fox to Rolling Stone, when asked if she had ever cut herself. [NY Daily News]
• "I made my wife appreciate it. She was a good sport. I paraded around. I loved my body. I walked around, danced — dancing with a belly like that was fun. My stepdaughter loved it, too. She kept poking me in the stomach, laughing." — Matt Damon on gaining 30 pounds for The Informant!. [USA Today]
• "Jennifer is one of the coolest women I've ever met. She's so smart." — Gerard Butler on Ms. Aniston. [MSNBC Scoop via Us Weekly]

• Steven Soderbergh has confirmed that his next film will star Michael Douglas as Liberace and Matt Damon as his longtime lover. Soderbergh said, "We've already done some costume and wardrobe tests on Michael, and they're very, very, very good..."

• "I swear to you, Michael amazed me. He crushed it." [People]
• Matt Damon shot a scene for an upcoming film with New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg today on the steps of City Hall. When a reporter asked how they know each other Bloomberg said, "All young sex symbols know each other." [N.Y. Times]
• A source says that while Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were "on a trip to Kenya with their children, Angelina stopped in Dabaab Refugee Camp, and also flew to Ethiopia with Zahara and Shiloh for two days." It's the first time Zahara has been back since her adoption. [People]
• In a backstage VIP lounge at Fashion Week a fan poked Bruce Willis in the shoulder and he got in her face, pointed a finger at her and said, "Don't you EVER touch me, understand?" The woman looked frightened and backed off. Bruce told his posse "I need to leave." [Radar Online]
• Marci Santoro, the mother of Jon Gosselin's former babysitter/lover Stephanie Santoro, says that he threatened to kill himself in a conversation with Stephanie. "He said that everybody would be better off without him and that his children would be better off if he wasn't around anymore... He said to her, ‘I'm just going to kill myself, I'm just going to end it all.'" She adds, "She told me that besides watching the children, they also started a relationship, and of course being a mother my first question was, ‘are you sleeping with him, did you have sex?' and she said, ‘yeah.'" [Radar Online]
• Taylor Swift says Kanye West called her and made a "sincere" apology, so she accepted it. She adds, "The support that I got from other artists and from the fans and so many people sticking up for me that's what got me to the place where I could accept the apology. And I'm just very thankful that everyone could show me so much love." [Perez Hilton]
• Though Viacom and Google are suing each other, the companies are working together to keep the Kanye West/Taylor Swift incident off YouTube. [Media Memo]
• Some radio stations are boycotting Kanye West's music. [Perez Hilton]
• Beyonce's manager/dad Michael Knowles says he'd proud of the way Beyonce handled Kanyegate. "It was all Beyonce's decision. I want to be clear about that. My job is to execute and come up with some ideas, but ultimately that was Beyonce's decision," he said. "I can only say it was a proud night for me as a manager, but more importantly as a father. I've always said the thing that makes me most proud about Beyonce is not how many records she sold or how many plaques she has or how many awards; it's that she's a genuine good person. I know it's hard for people to believe that she can really be that nice of a person, but she really is." [Us]
• Diddy got into a fight with a "tough-talking hip-hop cop" after the VMAs when he told him to keep moving on the sidewalk. Dilly said, "Lower your fucking voice when you're talking to me... I'm a man just like you." And the man replied, "I don't give a fuck who you are." [TMZ]
• Bobby Brown says of his relationship with Whitney Houston, "I think we corrupted each other. I don't think she hurt me or I hurt her. I just think we had a 14-year marriage that had its ups and downs and not many people understood it." As for his drug use, he says, "I used an awful lot you know and I can't take that back," adding that coke, "It's a powerful drug." [Ok]
• Keanu Reeves is scouting locations for his next film so he toured two Buffalo-area jails. While they let Keanu in, the two jails have barred federal investigators and are the target of Justice Department lawsuite for civil rights violations. [AP]
• Keanu Reeves says of his Point Break co-star Patrick Swayze, "He was a beautiful person, an artist. Patrick, he just wanted to experience life and for his work he wanted to take the opportunity of the film and it gave him that sense." [People]
• SNL sources are still denying that Casey Wilson was fired because she didn't lose 30 pounds saying it's "not true...her contract was simply not renewed." [E!]
• In the video at the link Clive Owen discusses his next project The Boys Are Back, about a sports writer who loses his wife to cancer and has to raise his 6-year-old son on his own. [N.Y. Times]
• Clive Owen says, "I haven't done a film like this before and parenting is a big part of my life. It was a challenge to explore, and something that I thought was very well written — the ups and downs of parenting." [Reuters]
• Paris Hilton may be sued because she skipped several media events this weekend in Frankfurt, Germany due to "mysterious circumstances." Sources say she skipped a party with Frederic Prinz von Anhalt's son Marcus because Doug Reinhardt "instructed" her not to "because it was being held in an erotic table dancing club." [Perez Hilton]
• Cherry Jones says when she heard she'd been nominated for an Emmy, "I really truly just giggled a lot. My world is theater and I've been nominated a handful of times for Tonys and that's always been kind of wonderful and surprising. But it's sort of what I do for a living. The Emmys to me - even though I've been on the show for two seasons, I still feel like a bit of impostor who just snuck into town and is pretending to be a television actor." [N.Y. Times]
• Betty White will receive a Life Achievement Award at the SAG Awards on January 23. [Variety]
• The chef who was suing Simon Cowell and Terri Seymour because she left her sneakers at their home has settled her case. She got her shoes back, plus $75 in court costs and $9 in gas money. The chef says, "I got my shoes back ... yayyyyyyy!" [TMZ]
• Kim Kardashian managed to insult both of her sisters in the same sentence this morning saying of her pregnant sister Kourtney Kardashian, "She's huge. She is huuuuge I think she's in denial of buying maternity clothes, because she just borrows Khloe's clothes." Kim explained, "Khloé is going to kill me for saying that, but it's really because Khloé is so much taller." [E!]
• Dr. Arnold Klein is suing Dr. Steven Hoefflin for telling The Sun, "[Dr. Conrad] Murray definitely called Klein because Klein taught him how to administer Propofol ... Murray would have counted on Klein to be the source of Propofol and guide him on its use." Klein says the statement was made, "willful, fraudulent, malicious, oppressive and reckless" and was done "with the intent to injure and harm Dr. Klein." but The Sun says they have evidence to back Hoefflin's claim. [TMZ]
• President Obama will appear on The Late Show With David Letterman on Monday to promote his health care plan, marking the first time a sitting president has appeared on the show. [AP]
• Juliette Lewis says of being directed by Drew Barrymore in Whip It, "I was so impressed with her as a director because she knew what she wanted to see. She really had a strong visual sense of the movie. I really feel like I was making the first movie of a young filmmaker." [Reuters]
• 63-year-old former Monkee Davy Jones married 32-year old Jessica Pacheco, a Telemundo TV star, on August 30 even though she allegedly beaut him up and cracked his rib with her shoe in the past. "Davy admits Jessica's violent with him, but she's drop-dead gorgeous and has clearly captivated him," said a source. "He says, 'It's my life. I don't want to be alone.'" [National Enquirer]
• Jane Lynch says playing Sue Sylvester on Glee is "so delicious. There's something about [her]. I've played arrogant people before, but the levels and lengths she goes to, it's so entertaining and fun." [People]
• Two screenwriters are suing NBC Universal and want to prevent Jennifer Aniston's new film Love Happens from being released because they say its based on a script called The Truth they gave a VP in 2006. [TMZ]
• Quentin Tarantino says that he's happy the success of Inglorious Basterds will ease the financial difficulties of the Weinstein Company. "They were backed up against the wall, and this gives them breathing room. This gets their back off the wall," Tarantino said. "I'm actually proud that I was able to do that for them, that I could pay back their faith in me, that I could pay back their support." [Reuters]
• Christina Applegate says she misses her old boobs after having a double masectomy and breast reconstruction surgery a year ago. "It's really hard because they just aren't the same – and I had really good ones," said Applegate. "If you have boobs you don't like, you can go and choose the size you want, and then get a brand new present. But it's different [when it's not your choice]." [People]
• Christina Applegate wants everyone to know she and Martyn LeNoble aren't engaged. "Can a girl please wear a ring on her left hand and not have it be all, 'Is she engaged?'" she says. [Extra TV]
• Maggie Gyllenhaal says on the set of Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang, Emma Thompson, "gave me a couple of notes. And she's not directing me, she's acting with me! If some other actor started giving me notes I would tell them to fuck off - there is not one actor I would allow that from. But they were fantastic notes - clear and totally helpful... I just thought to myself, 'She's teaching me and I'd be an idiot not to accept it.' And Emma's what, 50? It would be silly of me not to acknowledge that she knows more than I do." [Female First]

The director has been working on Inglourious Basterds — which opens today — for over a decade and critics say that, in all that time, he didn't come up with any meaningful message. The flick has all the trademarks of a Tarantino film: Witty dialogue; copious film references; strong female leads and extreme violence (though not as much as you'd expect). But then there's the outrageously revisionist plot for a World War II movie — it completely disregards history.

It's obvious from the trailer that Tarantino has taken some liberties in inventing the Basterds, a Jewish-American group of soldiers who scalp Nazis, but the film also requires viewers to ignore that they actually know how and where Hitler died, and it wasn't in a movie theater in Paris. The film takes place during the first year that the Nazis occupied France, and follows Shosanna Dreyfus (Mélanie Laurent), who flees to Paris and becomes the owner of the aforementioned movie theater after watching the Nazis kill her family. Meanwhile, lieutenant Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt) leads the group of Jewish-American soldiers to perform bloody executions of any Nazi they come across. Later, the Basterds join a German actress (Diane Kruger) who is actually an undercover agent, and try to kill the top leaders of the Third Reich in Shosanna's theater.

Though Tarantino took a huge risk by turning Jewish-Americans into brutal butchers, critics say the film never takes any responsibility for toying with one of the most horrific events in human history. The Holocaust is actually never referenced, since that would snap viewers out of the weird imaginary world where the only message is "it's fun to watch Nazis die." (The film's misspelled title is a reference to the mediocre 1978 Italian film Inglorious Bastards, which was a remake of The Dirty Dozen, but it has nothing to do with either movie.) Basterds references spaghetti westerns and the soundtrack is equally anachronistic, with David Bowie's "Cat People" playing during a climactic scene. Viewers who come to the theater expecting Tarantino to have some respect for a war in which 50 million people lost their lives will be disappointed. But if you're willing to suspend your sensitivity and knowledge of history and enjoy Tarantino's fantasy of getting back at a cartoonish version of the Nazis, critics say Basterds will be one of your favorite films of the year.

Below, we take a look at what the critics are saying:

The Chicago Sun-Times

Christoph Waltz deserves an Oscar nomination to go with his best actor award from Cannes. He creates a character unlike any Nazi - indeed, anyone at all - I've seen in a movie: evil, sardonic, ironic, mannered, absurd... Shosanna, played by Laurent as a curvy siren with red lipstick and, at the film's end, a slinky red dress. Tarantino photographs her with the absorption of a fetishist, with closeups of shoes, lips, a facial veil and details of body and dress. You can't tell me he hasn't seen the work of the Scottish artist Jack Vettriano, and his noir paintings of the cigarette-smoking ladies in red.

After I saw Inglourious Basterds at Cannes, although I was writing a daily blog, I resisted giving an immediate opinion about it. I knew Tarantino had made a considerable film, but I wanted it to settle, and to see it again. I'm glad I did. Like a lot of real movies, you relish it more the next time. Immediately after Pulp Fiction played at Cannes, QT asked me what I thought. "It's either the best film of the year or the worst film," I said. I hardly knew what the hell had happened to me. The answer was: the best film. Tarantino films have a way of growing on you. It's not enough to see them once.

The Miami Herald

Basterds isn't so revolutionary or so finely crafted as Pulp Fictionwas, but it crackles with the same energy and imagination and chutzpah — with the sheer, humongous pleasure of a great filmmaker firing on all cylinders, including a few new ones you didn't even know he had... A complaint often leveled at Tarantino is that his movies are about nothing more than other movies, and this one is no exception: From the spaghetti-western undertones of the opening scene set in the French countryside and the self-conscious voiceover narration by Samuel L. Jackson to the apocalyptic (and, I should note, outrageous) finale inside a movie theater, Inglourious Basterds is suffused with Tarantino's combustible love of cinema. But unlike, say, Kill Bill, in which there was little going on other than the referencing of other films, Inglourious Basterds stands as an expertly crafted and gorgeously shot (by Robert Richardson) piece of moviemaking in which plot and character are at the foreground.

Pitt plays Raine as broadly as he played the gym instructor in Burn After Reading, and the comic performance initially seems to clash with the seriousness of the rest of the movie, until you develop a feel for the volatile mix of laughs and horror Tarantino is after. Part of the beauty of Inglourious Basterds is the speed and suddenness with which Tarantino can shift gears, as he does in a long, suspenseful sequence inside a tavern in which a rowdy drinking game turns serious — and then gets worse — when a German major makes a surprise entrance.

Time

The scalping is appropriately detailed, and several guns are pointed at the tender areas of adversaries. But this is a 2 1/2-hour war movie without a single scene on the front lines. No long tracking shots of soldiers in foxholes or marching across an open field with a chorus of rifle fire. Fans of the operatic violence in Pulp Fiction and the Kill Billmovies eager for a thick new slab of steak Tarantino will be disappointed. ... Most of the film, though, reminds you that Tarantino may be a world-class director but what he really wants to do is write. Here the most explosive confrontations are verbal - long dialogues, often admirably tense and usually in French or German. (It's basically a foreign-language film.) The chats take the form of interrogations. A German officer probes; a Resistance fighter evades.

The Village Voice

Given its subject and the director's track record, Inglourious Basterdshas less mayhem than one might expect. There's nothing comparable here-either as choreographed violence or virtuoso filmmaking-to the D-Day landing that opens Saving Private Ryan. (But neither is there anything as false, sanctimonious, and emotionally manipulative as the rest of Spielberg's movie.) Inglourious Basterds is essentially conceptual and, as with any Western, all about determining the nature of permissible aggression. Operating like a cross between the Dirty Dozen and a Nazi death squad, the Basterds take no prisoners-designated "survivors" are shipped back to Germany, swastikas carved in their foreheads to spook the brass.

Reel Views

With Inglourious Basterds, Quentin Tarantino has made his best movie sincePulp Fiction. He has also made what could arguably be considered the most audacious World War II movie of all-time. If you think there are rules for this sort of motion picture, guess again. And it's not just that Tarantino is using the spaghetti western as his template; it's that the sheer unpredictability of where all this is going makes it compelling from beginning to end. Even the film's occasional artistic flourishes (such as chapter titles and out-of-period music pieces) work within the context of what Tarantino is trying to accomplish. This is clearly an attempt by the director to expand his range and step outside of the comfort zone in which he has worked for the majority of his career.

Variety

Inglourious Basterds is a violent fairy tale, an increasingly entertaining fantasia in which the history of World War II is wildly reimagined so that the cinema can play the decisive role in destroying the Third Reich. Quentin Tarantino's long-gestating war saga invests a long-simmering revenge plot with reworkings of innumerable genre conventions, but only fully finds its tonal footing about halfway through, after which it's off to the races. By turns surprising, nutty, windy, audacious and a bit caught up in its own cleverness, the picture is a completely distinctive piece of American pop art with a strong Euro flavor that's new for the director.

The Boston Globe

Yet you come away amused and unmoved, and that wasn't the case with, say, Kill Bill, where by the end Uma Thurman had assumed an exhausted, hard-won majesty. For the first time in a Tarantino movie, the women's roles feel underwritten, and most of the men don't get enough screen time.

It's obviously too much to expect a clever kid - which at 46, Tarantino still is - to grapple with history in any meaningful sense. For all that, the movie's pop-art shallowness feels forced. Inglourious Basterds is an entertainment but an uneasy one; it represents 153 minutes of bravura stalling, after which its creator loses interest and walks away. Tarantino may be the most talented filmmaker in America who prides himself on having absolutely nothing to say.

Hollywood Reporter

The film is by no means terrible — its two hours and 32 minutes running time races by — but those things we think of as being Tarantino-esque, the long stretches of wickedly funny dialogue, the humor in the violence and outsized characters strutting across the screen, are largely missing... The film lacks not only tension but those juicy sequences where actors deliver lines loaded with subtext and characters drip menace with icy wit. Tarantino never finds a way to introduce his vivid sense of pulp fiction within the context of a war movie. He is not kidding B movies as he was with Grindhouse nor riffing on cinema as with Pulp Fiction and the Kill Bill films. Tarantino has been quoted as saying of Inglourious Basterds, "This ain't your daddy's World War II movie." In fact, it pretty much is. His scalp-hunters are any Dirty Dozen on a mission, the bread and butter of war movies. The major difference is that some fine European actors simply aren't given enough to do.... in your daddy's war movies, men and women often did undergo interesting transformations. So perhaps Tarantino is right.

The A.V. Club

Inglourious Basterds is a film years in the making and hours in the watching, but it seems designed to inspire mere minutes of reflection. Quentin Tarantino's long-discussed World War II movie-it's been in the works in one form or another since Jackie Brown-features some thrilling action sequences, in which Tarantino's gift for dialogue gets honed to a razor-dangerous edge, and some seamlessly integrated reflections on cinema's role in shaping and reflecting history. But its moments of greatness-and there are more than a couple-feel weirdly disconnected, stuck in a movie that doesn't know how to put them together, or find a good way to move from one to the next.

The Washington Post

From the admittedly breathtaking opening sequence, which in its meticulous staging, pacing and acting pays loving homage to the work of Sergio Leone, to the Grand Guignol of a climax set in a Paris cinema, Inglourious Basterds isn't about history or war, or people and their problems, or anything of substance or meaning. It's a movie about other movies. For all its visual bravura and occasional bursts of antic inspiration, it feels trivial, the work of a kid who can't stop grabbing his favorite shiny plaything. To the degree that viewers share Tarantino's obsessions — with cinema, music and bloody, ritualized violence — they will enjoy Inglourious Basterds, which undoubtedly possesses its share of grace notes.

The New Yorker

Whether the Basterds are Tarantino's ideal of an all-American killing team or his parody of one is hard to know. Very little in Basterds is meant to be taken straight, but the movie isn't quite farce, either. It's lodged in an uneasy nowheresville between counterfactual pop wish fulfillment and trashy exploitation, between exuberant nonsense and cinema scholasticism.

Inglourious Basterds is not boring, but it's ridiculous and appallingly insensitive-a Louisville Slugger applied to the head of anyone who has ever taken the Nazis, the war, or the Resistance seriously. Not that Tarantino intends any malice toward such earnest people. The Nazis, for him, are merely available movie tropes-articulate monsters with a talent for sadism. By making the Americans cruel, too, he escapes the customary division of good and evil along national lines, but he escapes any sense of moral accountability as well.

The Los Angeles Times

Also getting in the way is Tarantino's inevitable self-indulgence, his willingess to please himself by choosing movie moments over genuine emotion, making a point of having Frenchwoman Shosanna, for instance, say, "We respect directors in our country." As it goes on and on, Inglourious Basterds feels increasingly like the kind of hollow, fanboyish cinema that is all the rage these days... Despite nods to notions like Jewish revenge and the power of cinema, the director has paid so much attention to the film's peripherals he has neglected to provide a center worth embracing. You can raise B pictures to A picture status, as Tarantino has made a career out of doing, but giving them A picture value is not so easily done.

Salon

There's been a lot of buzz – some of it coming from people who have actually seen the movie, and some coming from the always-more-vocal ones who haven't – about Tarantino's hyper-fictionalization of World War II conflict. Some have asserted that he's trivializing the seriousness of the Holocaust. It bears mentioning that even though Inglourious Basterds addresses "the hunting of Jews" by Nazis, its subject is most certainly notthe death camps or the mechanized slaughter of Jews. (And in a tense, beautifully sustained opening scene, Tarantino acknowledges – briefly but succinctly – the horror of the fate of the Jews under the Third Reich.) Even beyond that, though, in some minds the idea of Jews banding together aggressively to kick Nazi ass is itself offensive. By now almost everyone has forgotten, with good reason, last year's dreary Defiance, which is based on a true and inherently compelling story about real-life Jewish brothers who brutally fought the Nazis. But I see Tarantino's movie more as a manifestation of the kind of crude moral justice that fiction – if not fact – can allow us. To me, the aggressively fictional "Jews vs. Nazis" conflict in Inglourious Basterds is analogous to "Santa Claus vs. the Martians," an easily readable bit of cartoon shorthand for good vs. evil. Come on – you know whose side you'd be on.

The New York Times

Too often in Inglourious Basterds the filmmaking falls short. Mr. Tarantino is a great writer and director of individual scenes, though he can have trouble putting those together, a difficulty that has sometimes been obscured by the clever temporal kinks in his earlier work. He has also turned into a bad editor of his own material (his nominal editor, as usual, is Sally Menke) and seems unwilling or incapable of telling his A material from his B. The conversations in Inglourious Basterds are often repetitive and overlong and they rarely sing, in part because the period setting doesn't allow him to raid his vast pop-cultural storehouse. A joke about Wiener schnitzel just doesn't pop like the burger riff in Pulp Fiction

Slate

If Inglourious Basterds is offensive-and in spots, it's wildly so-it's not because Tarantino tries to bring Hitler and comedy together. That's been done before-by Charlie Chaplin, Ernst Lubitsch, and others-back when the wound of the war was much fresher. The queasiness comes in when the movie unproblematically offers up sadistic voyeurism as a satisfying form of payback. As he's trying to extract information from a German soldier, Brad Pitt's character speaks a line that could function as the movie's motto: "Watching Germans get beat to death is as close as we get to going to the movies." Tarantino's radical rewriting of the war's ending is audacious and perversely enthralling. But if Inglourious Basterds were about something more than the cinematic thrill of watching Nazis suffer, it could have been a revelation.

• Oprah's been gushing about meeting Shawn Carter:

"Jay-Z is my new best friend!" Oprah told Gayle King. "He was so charming and delightful - and he smelled so good." [People]

• If I'm reading this story correctly, Lily Allen's "brickie boyfriend" ran away down the street to avoid being snapped by the paparazzi and she was left holding some Indian food and a pair of pants. [The Sun]
• The latest on Jon and Kate Gosselin is that he's still trying to appear on that show Divorced Dad's Club; which does not make TLC happy. And they're not happy about his conduct lately; apparently his contract has a "morals clause" that does not include being seen going in and out of bars and drinking. Kate's been "pulling up the slack" Jon's created. Plus! All the money made last season from Jon & Kate Plus 8 went into a joint account. Kate put some into a college fund for the kids; Jon spent his share. "Kate's people say Jon is making money
  on the side by selling pictures and stories of him and the kids to the tabloids." [TMZ]
• "When pictures emerged of Kate Moss looking haggard as she sunbathed in St Tropez, nobody was more shocked than the supermodel herself… now she has planned a '10 years younger' health plan to regain her youthful complexion." [Daily Mail]
• Survivor winner Richard Hatch was sent to jail after doing an interview for the Today show, even though the interview was cleared by the Bureau of Prisons. (Hatch had been on house arrest.) [AP]
• Naomi Campbell, Queen Rania, and Jacques Chirac are in Saint-Tropez, and you are not. [Page Six]
• Pregnant Penelope Cruz: Avoiding the spotlight. [Page Six]
• Mariah Carey's album has been pushed back to September 29, which means that she'll miss the Grammy cutoff date by just one day and won't be in the running. She also won't hit shelves the same day as Whitney Houston's new album, which comes out September 1.
• You know how Dr. Conrad Murray has released a video statement? Columnist Courtney Hazlett points out that Michael Jackson really pioneered the scripted, recorded statement. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "Michael Jackson 'self-harmed' to get painkillers"… "He'd bang his head against the wall, hit his fists and arms against furniture, anything to cause a cut or bruise." [Mirror]
• Michael Jackson's funeral could cost $50,000 when you add in police and pther city services. [TMZ]
• Cue screams: Joe Jonas will be one of the celebrity judges on American Idol. Victoria Beckham, Mary J. Blige and Shania Twain will also appear in the spot vacated by Paula Abdul. [People]
• Yesterday, a judge ruled that Paris Hilton won't have to pay investors from failed flick Pledge This, who were claiming she didn't promote the movie enough. [Page Six]
• "Russell Brand shows off sex moves." [UKPA, Twitter]
• Ask Katy Perry a question her manager doesn't like, and he will pull the plug on your interview. Literally. Like, the lights will go out. Despite this, Katy was "delightful." [News.com.au]
• Inglourious Basterds prequel? "If the movie proves to be very popular, then we'll do it," says Quentin Tarantino. [Gatecrasher]
• Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush went to dinner together on Monday — strolling into a Ruth's Chris Steak House in New Orleans. Back together? Just friends? [People]
• "Kourtney Kardashian Agonized Over Whether to Keep Her Baby." [People
• Susan Sarandon's daughter Eva Amurri took pole-dancing lessons to appear as a stripper in the third season of Californication. "I have such a respect now for women who do this. It's very athletic, I mean, they're athletes!" she says. And her mom came to a few classes: "We didn't, like, do it together, although I'm sure that's a nice visual for people." Of appearing naked on TV, Amurri says: "You basically see boobs and butt. It's the same as you would see on a European beach. It's nothing scandalous… Men are naked as much as the women are on that show, which I really like. If you're going to be naked, at least it's equal-opportunity nudity." [Observer]
• Bruce Willis and wife Emma Heming took a tour of L.A.'s "megapricey" Carlyle Residences, where apartments start at $2.9 million and penthouses go for as much as $15 million. [E!]
• A Leona Lewis track leaked on to the Internet, and Simon Cowell, quite naturally, called the cops: Looks like her record label was being targeted by hackers. [The Sun]
• Jon Hamm has joined the cast of Sucker Punch, an action fantasy flick with Vanessa Hudgens, Abbie Cornish and Carla Gugino, among others. It's set in the 1950s and directed by 300's Zack Snyder. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• American Idol's David Cook, 26, has an "older woman" in his life: She's 35. [Page Six]
• Liam and Noel Gallagher no longer speak to each other. "He doesn't like me and I don't like him, that's it," Liam says. Nevertheless! Oasis will headline the V festival this weekend. [Independent]
• "Mindy McCready Wouldn't Leave My Daughter's House Says Kari Ann's Mom." [Radar Online]
• Rhea Perlman and her daughter, Lucy DeVito, will appear in Love, Loss And What I Wore, an Off-Broadway production produced by Nora and Delia Ephron. [Variety]
• The surviving members the iconic British comedy troupe Monty Python will be presented with a special BAFTA honor this fall. [UPI]
• "I'm a fan of the traditional Speedo. I think it's time to bring back the ass cleavage." — Vivica. A. Fox. [WWD]
• "This is the first time someone gave me a part where I'm strong, where I'm the engine, the motor of the scene. Many times actresses are an accessory to a story line. To be handed intelligent dialogue was nice. It was a very new experience for me." — Diane Kruger, on Inglourious Basterds. [Reuters]
• "I love the way my mother wore clothes. She used to cut her own hair and wore very little make up and she just did things differently. She used to wear odd, different-colour argyle socks but then she also wore beautiful British tailored suits and little tea dresses with platform shoes. That's sort of how people dress now so she was very modern and ahead of her time in many ways. She really didn't give a damn about what people thought and back then it was all about conforming. It really wasn't the done thing to reflect your own personality through your clothes. She was also an amazing photographer. Much of her work launched Rolling Stone magazine and at the same time she was very modest. If she had met the Queen she would probably have been more interested in talking to the butler. That's just the way she was." — Stella McCartney on late mother Linda, to Harper's Bazaar. [Daily Express]
• "It's awesome and has great margaritas and tacos... How fun is that? I just go and sit on a bar stool and it's fun, like, 'Oh, I'm hangin' here at my place.'" — Renee Zellweger, on the East Hampton taco bar, Blue Parrot, she co-owns. [Daily Express]
• "I'd be out there, and it would be scorching hot, so I would take off all of my clothes and garden. And then I would jump in the pool and swim — and I always get in the pool naked. I used to spend a lot of time with Woody Harrelson, and he's not afraid to get naked." — Alicia Silverstone on gardening naked. [Page Six]
• "[Our relationship] was amazing… [But] Jon said he couldn't be seen having a girlfriend, so he told me to drive to a neighbor's house after midnight, when the kids were asleep. He said he'd pick me up in his four-wheeler, take me to his house and drop me off again at 6 a.m." — Kate Major on seeing Jon Gosselin, with whom she claims she had three sexual encounters. More in Midweek Madness. [Gatecrasher via Life & Style]
• "HIV/Aids is a huge pandemic that to be fair, to be honest, governments have not responded to effectively enough. Churches can do a tremendous amount, and I know they do, but then again they can do tremendous harm, because when the Pope goes to a country in Africa and tells them that they shouldn't be using condoms when we know that HIV is a sexually transmitted disease, I don't think that makes any sense at all. I'm comfortably wealthy, white, educated — I'm one of the lucky ones. I have had good healthcare and my children have good healthcare. I want that for everybody, I want people to have fundamental access to the most basic things. Everybody can do something, I really believe that, that each of us have a sphere of influence, whether it be your friends, your family or workplace, or colleagues." — Annie Lennox, at the Festival of Politics at the Scottish Parliament in Edinburgh. [BBC News]

• Robin Wright Penn has filed for divorce from Sean Penn due to "irreconcilable differences." They've already drawn up divorce papers twice before and announced their reconciliation in May.

• The papers say they've agreed to a division of their property and shared custody of their 16-year-old son (their 18-year-old daughter is starting college). [People]
• During her E! interview last night Jon Gosselin's girlfriend Hailey Glassman said of Kate Gosselin, "I think she's a great mother, but she's definitely going for the sympathy card." She added, "TLC didn't allow [Jon and Kate] to come out and say their marriage was over a year ago." [Radar Online]
• In her segment on the E! special, Kate Major said of Jon, "I would be lying if I said there wasn't instant chemistry between us." As for their current relationship status she says, "Right now, there is no happily ever after," However, "[I was] really, really impressed-and I still am-with the person that he is." [E!]
• Kari Anne Peniche, the other girl involved in the Eric Dane/Rebecca Gayheart nude tape, says that her former roommate, singer Mindy McCready, found the video on her hard drive. Peniche says McCready stole the hard drive when she moved out of their apartment and that the trio won the rights to the video and are threatening to sue anyone who posts it on the internet. [TMZ, N.Y. Post]
• Kari Ann Peniche's rep says she's "extremely upset over this situation. She considers Eric and Rebecca dear friends and this is an unfortunate incident where consenting adults who were having a little a fun are now victims of having personal property stolen and private matters made public." Peniche, who is a former Miss United States Teen, appears in the upcoming season of Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew. [Entertainment Tonight]
• So You Think You Can Dance choreographer Alex Da Silva has been arrested on eight felony counts of assault, including four counts of forcible rape. The D.A. says there are four victims who were all dangers in Da Silva's classes. [TMZ]
• In this video, Dr. Conrad Murray thanks his patients and friends for their support. He says he recorded a video thank you because he's afraid to return phone calls and emails "because of all that is going on." [TMZ]
• This morning on Today Ann Curry suggested Brad Pitt should make a more kid-friendly movie than Inglorious Basterds. He said he's voicing a "superhero who wants out" in the movie Oobermind with Tina Fey. "It's just something [the kids will] enjoy," he said, "and that's cool." [People]
• Quentin Tarantino says of Inglourious Basterds, "Oh, I know it's going to do fantastic in Germany. People have the wrong idea of Germany. You have to remember that with the possible exception of Jews, the people that have the biggest bringing-down-the–Third Reich fantasies are the last two generations of the Germans." [N.Y. Magazine]
• New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg says 50 Cent is no planning to perform in his old neighborhood in Queens. Earlier reports claimed city police were preparing for a 50 Cent concert on August 30. [UPI]
• An insider on the set of The Fighter says that for his role as a crack addict Christian Bale "has lost almost as much weight as he did for The Machinist. He is so gaunt... They have even thinned his hair-he just looks sickly." [E!]
• Nicole Kidman will appear on the special Project Runway: All Star Challenge on Thursday. [People]
• The ruling in Slash's lawsuit against a Sotheby's real estate agent has been delayed for a month because the judge says he needs more time to decide if the real estate agent misrepresented the a property Slash bought in 2006. [Daily Express]
• Joan Rivers is dating Norm Zada, founder of the adult magazine Perfect 10, which is dedicated to "the world's most beautiful natural women." [Perez Hilton]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony hosted a dinner last night in their Long Island home in honor of Sonia Sotomayor. [Gossip Cop]
• Sony's new ad campaign features celebrity "experts" including Peyton Manning, Justin Timberlake, and Amy Sedaris, giving customers advice on which electronics they should buy. [Brand Week]
• Now that Survivor winner Richard Hatch has been released to house arrest after being imprisoned for failing to pay taxes, he's claiming that he was only sent to jail because he's gay. The prosecutors say that's "delusional." [AP]
• Johnny Knoxville has been, "telling people that his girlfriend, Naomi [Nelson], is three months pregnant," says an insider. "He's excited - and a little nervous." [Just Jared]
• 19-year-old Mike Byrne has been chosen to replace drummer Jimmy Chamberlin in The Smashing Pumpkins after more than 1,000 drummers responded to an open call. [AP]
• The first single of Mariah Carey's new CD will be a "gospel-tinged version" of Foreigner's "I Want To Know What Love Is." [ONTD]
• The Pussycat Dolls are canceling the first three dates of their tour with the Black Eyed Peas because Nicole Scherzinger has an ear infection. [All Business]
• Britney Spears will read David Letterman's Top 10 List tonight. [People]
• Shanna Moakler has agreed to let Travis Barker take their two kids on the road with him, but the custody papers say he has to arrange a vacation for her and the kids to Rhode Island at the end of the month. The papers also say the kids can't get near someone named Richard Sinnott "at any time whatsoever." [TMZ]
• A group of Russian gangsters are supposedly planning to kidnap Katie Price so she's taking her cage-fighter boyfriend Alex Reid with her to Spain. "The kidnap threat is a real worry and Kate feels much safer when Alex is around. He is a muscular man and a trained fighter who can watch her back at all times," says a source. "Kate's a tough woman but this is bound to really frighten her and convince her to take her boyfriend along for support. She will definitely feel much better having him on hand to double up as a bodyguard and scare off the mobsters." [Daily Star]
• In the clip at the link, a man takes parenting advice from Ryan O'Neal, who as you'll recall hit on his daughter, shot at one son, but bonded with the other while they were serving time for meth possession. [E!]
• A judge has ruled that Paris Hilton may have to pay back some of the $1 million she was paid to be in Pledge This!, but not the $8 million she's being sued for because it's not her fault it flopped. [AP]
• Mila Kunis says of Macaulay Culkin, her boyfriend of seven years, "I don't know if I met him at 27 if it would have been a different relationship... We grew up together. You find a steady rock in your life and that's all you need. We have our ups and downs, but work through them." [People]
• Joy Behar says of her new talk show The Joy Behar Show, "We're not going to cover depressing news. Well, we might, if someone interesting dies or something. You know, I'm following Nancy Grace, and she does a lot of crime stories, so maybe I'll pick up some of hers. She's interesting. The whole channel now - HLN - Headline News Network - is filled with divas. First is Jane Velez-Mitchell, then Nancy Grace, and then moi. The whole channel is like - how shall I say? - assertive women. It'll be fun." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Kourtney Kardashian says it was hard for her to tell her sister Kim Kardashian and mom Kris Jenner that she's pregnant. She explains, "Khloe and I called Kim on speakerphone, and I made Khloe tell her. I think Kim thought we were lying! Kim was excited, but I feel like her first reaction was like, 'Why? What are you doing?' It was really just shock. Especially since we are so extremely close, anything that happens in our family is earth-shattering to us. But she was excited. She just wanted to make sure that I had thought this through." She told her 12 and 13-year-old half-sisters in person, and now one of them calls her "fatty" every time she sees her. [People]

• Lily Allen was performing in Helsinki, Finland when she burst into tears. Before the show, she Tweeted:

"Fell over badly last night and I've really fucked my back up. Just had an injection in my bum. How am I gonna get through tonight's gig?" Throwing out your back is terrible! So is Lily's hair/makeup in these pix. [Daily Mail]

• Bill Maher said he once saw Brad Pitt roll the most perfect joint he had ever seen. "I'm an artist," Brad agreed. [NY Daily News]
• Brad Pitt is being added to Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes as the detective's arch enemy. The character of Moriarty was missing from a rough cut of the film, and movie execs insisted the famous nemesis be added to the flick. Ritchie called old pal Pitt (who was in Snatch) and he'll film this week in London. [Mirror]
• The Dancing With The Stars season 9 cast: Revealed! Macy Gray, Melissa Joan Hart, Kathy Ireland, Mya, Iron Chef host Mark Dacascos, Ashley Hamilton, former Dallas Cowboy Michael Irvin, Donny Osmond, Tom DeLay (?!?!?!), Olympic swimming gold medalist Natalie Coughlin, model Joanna Krupa, Debi Mazar, Kelly Osbourne, Aaron Carter, Chuck Liddell, and snowboarder Louie Vito. [ABC News]
• Jennifer Aniston complimented a woman pole-dancing on the set of The Bounty, saying she looked like a professional. The lady replied, "I am!" [Gatecrasher]
• George Clooney plans to sue a photographer who climbed over the wall of his Lake Como home and took pictures of a 13-year-old girl changing in a guest room, as well as snaps of Clooney and gf Elisabetta Canalis. Cloons says: "I don't know about the law in the United States, but in Italy it's illegal for photographers to climb over my wall. He'll also press charges against two magazines who published the photos. [Gatecrasher]
• Beyoncé: Secretly taking ballet classes at Alvin Ailey School of Dance. [Gatecrasher]
• Jon Gosselin went to a party thrown by a student at Parsons School Of Design. He only stayed for 20 minutes, but arrived with a paparazzo and left with two female students. Keepin' it classy. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Even though Paula Abdul won't be on Dancing With The Stars, she MIGHT get a ABC show of her own. Paula's Wacky Clappy Variety Show? [TMZ]
• Madonna performed in Warsaw on Saturday even though it was a holy date, the Assumption of Mary feast. National group Pro Polonia called her a "crypto-Satanist," which is not very crypto. [Daily Express]
• Bob Dylan was on tour and took a walk in Long Branch, NJ, when he was stopped by cops; a resident had reported someone "wandering" around the neighborhood. A cop asked him for I.D. "I don't think she was familiar with his entire body of work," says a town official. [NY Daily News]
• Jennifer Lopez is looking pretty hot on the cover of InStyle and inside she's saying stuff like: "There's nothing as huge as giving birth to another human being and having to be responsible for another life. There's you before kids, and there's you after kids – and they're not the same you." [People]
• Mark Wahlberg was rushed to the hospital on Friday morning after suffering smoke inhalation on the set of The Frighter. A smoke machine was being used for atmosphere and Wahlberg breathed in too much. [RadarOnline, Daily Express]
• Amy Winehouse's divorce from Blake Fielder-Civil will be finalized at the end of the month, but Blake allegedly told a reporter: "I want to take her out for dinner and propose again. I hope that within five minutes we'll be planning where we're next going to get married." [Daily Mail]
• Blake also says: "She is looking beautiful and healthy now and it reminds me of the old Amy." [News Of The World]
• Amy will appear on Strictly Come Dancing in September as a backup singer for her 13-year-old goddaughter Dionne Bromfield, and there's a cute picture of them hugging at the link. [Mirror]
• Bodysnarky opening sentence of the day: "She's looking thinner than ever, but there's one part of Victoria Beckham that looks set to put on a lot of weight very quickly - her wallet. Posh Spice has landed a £3million contract on American Idol…" [Daily Mail]
• Joe Simpson is pushing Jessica Simpson as the perfect replacement for Paula Abdul on American Idol. [Page Six]
• Saturday night after a Fall Out Boy show, Ashlee Simpson and husband Pete Wentz were at a bar when Ashlee got wasted, yelled at Pete and made him leave his own party early. Charming! [Perez]
• Jane Fonda, 71, might marry 67-year-old Richard Perry next year, which would be her fourth wedding. [Daily Express]
• So many contradictory stories about MJ. We first heard that he was strong during rehearsals. This report claims: "Michael Jackson was so weak in his final days he needed to be SPOON-FED meals, his make-up artist has revealed." [The Sun]
• "Michael Jackson's body has been moved in secret to a new crypt, where it's been frozen." [Daily Express]
• This report claims that Michael Jackson will be buried on what would have been his 51st birthday, August 29. Or so says Joe Jackson. [Gatecrasher]
• You know how Michael Phelps was in a car accident last week? Turns out he was driving with an expired license and told cops he had a beer about an hour before the crash. [TMZ]
• George Michael on his car smashup: "Neither of us was charged because we were both stone cold sober. We both think the other is to blame so this is just an insurance fight." [E!]
• Eva Longoria is expanding her restaurant business, and soon she'll have a Beso Vegas and "Besitos" in ariports. [People]
• Kristin Bauer, who plays Pam on True Blood, thinks Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer will have kids together since Anna is "great" with Stephen's kids from previous relationships. [E!]
• Tons of Gossip Girl spoilers at the link, and yes, there are details on Chuck and Blair — with a HOT picture of the Bass. [People]
• Matthew Settle — Gossip Girl's Rufus — skateboards through New York during rush hour. [NY Times]
• Actress Aishwarya Rai has a chest infection with flu-like symptoms. [Times Of India]
• Anna Friel will play Holly Golightly in an upcoming stage production of Breakfast At Tiffany's in London. [Times Of London]
• The Office's Amy Ryan — who plays Holly Flax — is pregnant. [E!]
• An excerpt of Alana Stewart's book, My Journey With Farrah: A Story Of Life, Love And Friendship, at the link. [Daily Mail]
• Bananarama's back. [Daily Mail]
• Aberdeen, Washington has the title of one hometown hero Kurt Cobain's songs, "Come As You Are," posted at the entrance of town. An unofficial park has been established next to the bridge under which Cobain hung out and wrote songs. [LA Times]
• Blind item! "Which D-list relationship recently ended when the gal found out her man's secret vice was boy-on-boy action?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I can't tell you how far from a gold-digger I am. I've never dated a rich man in my life. I've always wondered how girl friends of mine could even ask their boyfriends to buy them clothes." — Samantha Burke, who was impregnated by Jude Law. [Daily Mail]
• "I thought it was an incredibly sexual role and a challenge to be an 'older woman' in the film. Roles always challenge me in some personal way and that was one I wanted to overcome: 'Wow, all of a sudden, you've become the "Older Woman" in a movie. Let's give the younger ones a run for their money.'" — Anne Heche on playing opposite Ashton Kutcher in Spread. [LA Times]
• "This season, I really want to get back to the guerilla style I used to have. I want to try to get back to my roots and make it crazy. In the first episode, I get buried alive in a coffin, six feet under 5,000 pounds of snow. I want people to realize I'm not complacent because I have a little bit of success and a little money. Hopefully in return I can raise the level of the art form to the level other art forms receive, like the cinema.… I just really loved the ability as a kid to do something that adults didn't understand. It was like power. Then I realized as a teenager that there was more to the art of magic than how you did it. It's trying to connect to somebody." — Criss Angel, whose Mindfreak is back on A&E for its 5th season. [LA Times]
• "I like everything about filming except the acting. In recent years I've had really bad attacks where I totally froze up. I thought 'Well, if I am going to get stage fright, then I am packing it in.'" — Hugh Grant. [Daily Mail]
• "I think anybody that's touring is going to have a carbon footprint. I think it's probably unfair to single out rock 'n' roll. There's many other things that are in the same category but as it happens we have a program to offset whatever carbon footprint we have." — The Edge, annoyed by critics of U2's travel. [Daily Express]
• "The Harry Potter books are not explicitly religious in the way that C.S. Lewis's Narnia tales are, but there is a strong sense of evil, and issues of good and evil are not only philosophical issues but also theological issues." —University of Massachusetts-Amherst philosophy professor Gareth B. Matthews. [UPI]
• "I think when I started I was working in the vein of The Dirty Dozen or The Devil's Brigade. But now watching the completed film with audiences, I don't think there has ever been a World War II movie like it. That can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your taste, but it's definitely a thing." — Quentin Tarantino on Inglourious Basterds. [WSJ]
• "Don Cheadle could play me, but I hope they just go with the obvious casting choice." — Richard Belzer, when asked who would play Richard Belzer if his crime novel about a a New York City police detective named Richard Belzer were made into a TV show. [Publishers Weekly]
• "I've had my heart broken before. Truly, truly broken. But when I look back at me in my heartbroken phase, it's pretty hilarious, because it felt so much more extreme than it really was. One of the things I love about (500) Days of Summer is that it doesn't make light of what we go through in romances, but it is honest about it and shows it for what it is, which is often profoundly funny." — Joseph Gordon-Levitt. [Guardian]
• "The speed of news creates so much vertigo. I am a very private person." — Penelope Cruz. [Telegraph]
• "We kind of rolled our eyes at the idea of having to make out." — Amanda Seyfried on her Jennifer's Body girl-on-girl scene with Megan Fox. [Page Six via Entertainment Weekly]
• "I remember really vividly kneeling by my bed as a nine-year-old, saying my prayers and asking God to give me boobs that were so big that if I laid on my back I wouldn't be able to see my feet. Eventually that request was granted. A bit of divine intervention displays the power of prayer. Every time before I go on stage, or go out where I know there will be a lot of press, I take a skipping rope and spend about ten minutes, fully clothed, skipping. I look like Rocky. This way I can ensure that everything is firmly in place and I won't have a wardrobe malfunction. Don't want those boulders doing a show of their own." — Katy Perry. [The Sun]

• Breaking the hearts of every boy I went to elementary, middle, and high school with, Alyssa Milano married her boyfriend of three years, David Bugliari, in New Jersey yesterday. Bugliari's good friend, Bradley Cooper was in attendance. [People]

• Milano wore a Vera Wang gown and walked down the aisle to John Lennon's "Imagine." [E!]
• Madonna celebrated her 51st birthday in Poland earlier today, giving a concert for her fans, despite protests from local Catholics, who were angered that the singer's visit coincided with The Feast of the Assumption. [AP]
• Sting's daughter, Coco Sumner says that the rumors about her father's obsession with tantric sex were made up by his friend, Bob Geldof: "Bob Geldof made up this thing and it stuck and it's an international joke. It is a bit embarrassing when people bring it up. I don't really have anything to do with my parents' sex life. They love each other. So what?" [DailyMail]
• Kate Hudson's estranged father, Bill Hudson, is publicly asking the actress to reunite with him so that she can meet her 3-year-old half-sister, Lalania. DailyExpress]
• Robert Pattinson was attacked by three aliens at Comic Con! Naturally, he was terrified, until the "aliens" took off their masks to reveal they were just teenage Twilight fans. And then, of course, he was even more terrified. (No, not really. He was very nice to them, apparently.) [ShowbizSpy]
• Big Brother's Chima Simone was kicked off the program Friday night for "violating the rules," according to CBS. "She will not be part of the show's jury," the network says, "Her eviction will be addressed on an upcoming broadcast of the show." [EW]
• "I thought I'd asked enough people and triple-checked. But it is just one letter out, I think it's an easy fix. I think it's kind of funny too. How typical! As soon as I realised, I couldn't stop telling people and everyone would bust up laughing."- Hayden Panetierre on her misspelt tattoo [DailyMirror]
• Jennifer Westfeldt has reportedly been "angling" for a guest spot on boyfriend Jon Hamm's Mad Men, "but has been told by producers that 'they can't find the right storyline' for her." [PageSix]
• "I'm reacting against that attitude. This complete victimisation of the war with the violin music and the anti-war aspect to everything. These self-serious movies have been the deal for the past 20 years, whereas back in the 1940s, when the f***ing war was going on, it wasn't sacrilegious to make a war movie that dared to be entertaining. So I'm not going to apologise for being funny, or for making an exciting adventure movie."-Quentin Tarantino on Inglorious Basterds[TimesOnline]
• Just in case you care, Ashley Tisdale is NOT dating Taylor Lautner: "I have a bf. No idea where that got started." [ShowbizSpy]
• Tyra Banks eats frozen dinners and energy bars. Celebrities! They're just like us and so on and so forth. [PageSix]
• "I didn't have a normal social life, and sometimes I think it's why I'm insecure around a large group of people. I shut down a bit. People expect me to be what they see on stage, but that's not who I am in real life."-Beyonce [ShowbizSpy]
• Amy Winehouse is set to appear as a backup singer on the British television show Strictly Come Dancing in support of her goddaughter, 13-year-old Dionne Bromfield. [Mirror]
• Amy's estranged husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, says the two are talking again: ""We've been talking for the first time in months.I love her as much as ever. I know she still loves me, even though we're getting divorced. Maybe this time we can do everything properly and not mess it up." [NewsOfTheWorld]
• District 9 beat The Time Traveler's Wife at the box office on Friday, taking in 14.2 million dollars. [EW]
• Is Paula Abdul thinking of returning to American Idol? [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, Victoria Beckham has impressed the Idol producers during her guest stint on the show: "She was a revelation at the second audition and is now top of the list to permanently replace Paula," says a source, "She'd be crazy to turn it down. This job will set her up as a real star in the States." [NewsOfTheWorld]
• Katie Price claims her marriage to Peter Andre was a "sham." [DailyMail]
• George Michael says he was sober when he crashed into a truck on Friday: "Neither of us was charged because we were both stone cold sober. We both think the other is to blame so this is just an insurance fight. I don't want my fans or my family worried by what they are reading all over again." [TimesOnline]
• Lady Gaga's producer, Rob Fusari, says the singer has a "Tin Man heart" and that "to her men are like candy - take the wrapper off, chew it up a few times." [TheSun]
• Spencer Pratt celebrated his 26th birthday with a machine gun cake. As for Heidi Montag's birthday gift to her husband? A copy of her issue of Playboy, of course. A machine gun cake? Ugh. Team Cake does not approve of this mess. [JustJared]

• While performing stand-up in New York on August 5, Rosie O'Donnell started talking about her stint on The View, which she referred to as The Screw You, and called Elisabeth Hasselbeck "Elisabeth Half-a-brain." But Rosie wasn't done!

• An audience member says, "Rosie said when she first met Elisabeth, she thought she would love her, because they're both Christians... Then she stopped and said, 'But then she turned on me.' Then Rosie called her a 'twat.' O'Donnell then moved on to a different subject, saying she really didn't want to start a new feud, or restart an old one." Too late Rosie! [Fox News]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin's divorce will be finalized by the end of the month. Also Hailey Glassman has agreed to do an interview with E!'s Giuliana Rancic on August 17 in a one-hour special at 7pm ET. She's going to stay away from the kids until the divorce is official, but then all bets are off. [Radar Online, Ok]
• This week's episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 had only 3.5 million viewers, down 4 million from the week before. [Us]
• Let's hope no one gets in Taylor Lautner's way! "I love that kid," says Kristen Stewart. "I would do anything for him. I would kill for him, literally." [People]
• Though it was reported that Jennie Garth, who is married to Twilight's Peter Facinelli said Robert Pattinson was either dating Kristen Stewart or Nikki Reed, rep says she actually said, "I can't say [who Rob's dating]. That will be breaking my promise to my husband. But I do know." [Radar Online]
• This morning on Today, Brad Pitt says he's seen the "Brad Pitt for mayor" shirts many New Orleans resident have been wearing, but he's not considering a run because, "I don't have a chance." [AP]
• Three sources say Dr. Conrad Murray left Michael Jackson alone after giving him propofol to make phone calls on the morning he died. He'd left him alone after giving him the drug before, but not monitoring MJ may legally meet the level of negligence required for an involuntary manslaughter charge. [L.A. Times]
• Michael Jackson and a man named Henry Vaccaro had been fighting over some of MJ's memorabilia, including 26 unreleased songs for years. When two of Jackson's lawyers went to retrieve eight of the items last month Vaccaro said they were missing, but the items were later auctioned off. Police are investigating. [TMZ]
• Motown founder Berry Gordon will write the introduction to the rerelease of Michael Jackson's memoir Moonwalk. [AP]
• Though Amy Winehouse was previously banned from entering the U.S. she still wants to do a tour and her spokesperson said that now, "There is nothing to stop her getting a visa to travel to America." [Contact Music]
• Patrick Swayze was recently hospitalized for a week, possibly because of intestinal bleeding, but he's home now. [Radar Online]
• Madonna is renovating her recently purchased New York townhouse and now huge dumpsters are blocking the entire road. [The Sun]
• If Philadelphia school officials approve, Tony Danza may co-teach 10th grade English at Northeast High School this fall for a reality TV show called Teach on A&E. [AP]
• Billy Mays' health insurance commercial for the iCAN benefit group has been pulled from the air. [TMZ]
• Kourtney Kardashian has revealed that boyfriend Scott Disick is the father of her child. As for how she could have gotten pregnant she said, "There's so many times I'll forget to take my pill. I've done that several times and never really thought about it…I know, it's stupid." When she told Disick, "He was like way more like excited than I was. Like he definitely wasn't as nervous and scared." But she's not sure if they'll get married. She says, "We've talked about it, but I feel like there's so much going on that I like can't even go there." [E!]
• Kourtney's mom Kris Jenner says, "I am beyond thrilled and excited and cannot wait to meet my new grandchild! We are truly blessed." [People]
• Sky Blu of the hip-hop group LMFAO has a crush on Khloe Kardashian. [E!]
• Though she initially didn't show much interest in Beatles Rock Band, which will be released in September, Yoko Oko visited Harmonix studios in Boston a few months ago. "She gave the designers hell," said a VP at the company. "We were like, ‘Oh, gee. Thanks'. It would have been nice to know that six months ago, but yes, ‘Thank you very much'." [Mirror]
• Karl Rove and Rush Limbaugh are going to guest star in an upcoming episode of Family Guy in which Brian becomes a Republican because he's upset he has nothing to complain about anymore with Barack Obama in the White House. [Politico]
• Toby Keith's new song and music video American Ride may become the theme for town hallers. It makes fun of global warming, terrorists, and illegal immigrants, and the video shows "President Bush in front of the White House giving Christian-right leader Pat Robertson a piggyback ride. Another shows bankers hoisting President Obama in a walk through a destroyed Wall Street district as dollars fall from the sky." Check it out here: [U.S. News & World Report]
• The Miss Universe Organization has releasing topless photos of outgoing Miss Universe, Dayana Mendoza of Venezuela, to Maxim for the September issue. While previously similar organizations have always condemned contestants for releasing such pictures (Mendoza's arm covers her breasts), a pageant official said, "She just loved the way they turned out and she really wanted to be able to share them. If she had taken these photos and sent them to a magazine, that would be a different issue. But she handled this so appropriately. She came to us and said, ‘I understand I'm Miss Universe and I have this title, but as Dayana Mendoza, I'd like to share these photos.'" [MSNBC]
• Jerry O'Connell has enrolled at Los Angeles' Southwestern Law School. When his wife Rebecca Romijn was asked why he enrolled there she said he was, "very impressed with the faculty and the vibe here. This is brand new to him as well. He's very much looking forward to his education." [Us]
• In the video at the link Jessica Capshaw of Grey's Anatomy explains that the next season will be "heavy." [E!]
• Reese Witherspoon, who is filming the baseball movie How Do You Know has just recovered from getting a black eye a few weeks ago, and now she has another one. [Daily Express]
• Abbie Cornish, who was accuse of breaking up Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Philippe's relationship says, "It was a really difficult time for me... It was just this world of tabloid magazines that I'd never been exposed to. In a normal successful career, someone usually learns these things bit by bit. For me, it was like night and day. I woke up one day and there was this whole new thing I had to process and deal with." [W]
• Mike Tyson has given his first interview since the accidental death of his 4-year-old daughter Exodus. "I am working with dealing with it," he says. "I have spoken to a lot of people. I have become a member of an exclusive club no one wants to join. I have been told the pain never stops but you get over it. I am going through a process, trying to heal. I am in denial, because I don't know how to handle it. I don't know what to do or say. I appreciate everybody who supported me." [Entertainment Tonight]
• Victoria Beckman's rep says, "there are no talks of her being a permanent judge [on American Idol]. They felt she was natural in Denver. [But] she has Fashion Week coming up, and she is focusing on that." [L.A. Times]
• Lily Allen has but a Breitling watch she bough for herself that's too big up for sale on Twitter for £3,200. [Daily Mail]
• Here's a picture of Katie Price's new boyfriend, Alex Reid, hanging out with Katie and Peter Andre's son. Both are topless for some reason. [Daily Mail]
• "I love England. It would be a wonderful life experience to have an excuse to work here for six or nine months..." says Quentin Tarantino. "I am a huge fan of Simon Pegg, so I would definitely love to work with him. I also think Kate Winslet is one of the best actresses that ever lived, so I would be honoured to work with her. I am also a huge admirer of Anthony Hopkins. I would also love to work with Michael Caine. I can see them appearing in my movies, it just has to be right." [Daily Express]
• Q: How does it feel to be the face of Twitter. Ashton Kutcher: "It feels like I should own some of it but unfortunately I don't. However one person does not make a community." [Time]
• Q: Does it bother you to be called Mr. Demi Moore? Ashton Kutcher: No. Why would it? People have called me much worse. [Time]
• Rachel McAdams says of playing a mother for the first time, "I was excited and nervous about it because I haven't done it before. It was a welcome challenge. The little girls [Hailey McCann and Tatum McCann] in this film were so fantastic. They are real sisters and they made my job really easy. So I didn't have to work too hard at that." [People]
• "I think Pete's really honest, and there's something to be said for that, on this show. He's honest even when it works against him. He can't help himself. He has to say the blatant thing. He's like that guy who meets someone and says, "Oh wow, you have a mole on your nose!" I like people like that. They're not ashamed to go up to a guy and be like, 'Hey, how'd you lose your arms?' Like, 'Come on, everyone else is wondering, I had to ask!' But then, the guy without the arms is probably so sick of answering that question! ... He's no Don Draper. Like you said, he's the biggest rube in the room. And he's the biggest buffoon in the room." — Vincent Kartheiser of Mad Men [Salon]

• Have mercy. Will Lauren Conrad's L.A. Candy be turned into a film? That would mean a movie based on a book based on reality show based on someone's life. LC says:

"We're hoping for a movie deal. I'm working on [adapting the book for the movies] right now, but I don't want to commit to anything until I see all my options." [Gatecrasher]

• Here's an article devoted to dissecting, mocking and nitpicking Madonna's "stringy" arms. [NY Daily News]
• Old love letters Madonna wrote are up for auction; she refers to herself as "Lil' Booty" and "Lola Montez" in honor of a famous mistress of King Ludwig I of Bavaria. Yeah. [Page Six]
• Oh Kate Major. One day you're a reporter for Star magazine, the next you're "dating" Jon Gosselin; and now you're being accused of having a former life as a high-priced call girl. [Extra]
• Would you watch a Jon Gosselin reality show? No Kate or plus 8 — just the Ed Hardy-wearing bachelor doing… stuff? [E!]
• A stylist who worked with Mischa Barton on the set of The O.C. says the actress developed an alcohol problem in her teens. "Mischa has been drinking since she was about 14, and she doesn't drink to have fun any more - she drinks not to feel anything…It was just a matter of time before she hit rock bottom." [The Sun]
• Mischa Barton is out of the hospital and "has every intention" of rejoining the Ashton Kutcher-produced CW drama The Beautiful Life when it resumes production in a few weeks. [E!]
• "Amy Winehouse 'Stole Cocaine From Kate Moss's Handbag.'" So says Blake Formerly Incarcerated, who seems to be spilling all kinds of tales now that he and Amy are divorced. Anyways, that was then. [Daily Mail]
• Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart stayed in the same hotel, on the same floor, in San Diego Wednesday night before Comic-Con. ZOMG true love! Twilight is real! [E!]
• George Clooney is being linked to Elisabetta Canalis, who hosts the Italian version of MTV's TRL. [Daily Express]
• Hold on to your ovaries: Jon Hamm vacation pictures. [Best Week Ever]
• Speaking of Jon Hamm, he'll star with Ben Affleck in The Town, a flick about a a bank robber who becomes smitten with the teller of a bank he held up. Hamm plays an FBI agent. [Variety]
• There were rumors that John Travolta was leaving the Church of Scientology, but his rep says, somewhat ominously: "There's no change in the relationship between the Church of Scientology and John. He is a member and it's as it was, now and forever." [People]
• On June 25, the day Michael Jackson died, Dr. Conrad Murray gave him the powerful anesthetic propofol through an IV sometime after midnight. [AP, AP]
• "Authorities believe Dr. Murray may have actually fallen asleep during the time the drug was administered and may have awakened to find Jackson already dead from heart failure. An IV drip of Propofol allows a constant, steady infusion of the drug for a period of time determined by the person administering it." [TMZ
• The toxicology report is expected any day now, and will play a role in whether Dr. Conrad Murray is charged with manslaughter. [People]
• "Michael Jackson's children could miss out on a $20 million life insurance payout – because an aide allowed the policy to lapse." [Telegraph]
• Paula Abdul still does not have a deal with American Idol. A source says: "She sees the big money Ryan Seacrest got, she knows that Simon is close to a huge deal, too. She feels like it's personal that she's not getting the same big numbers." Or! Gender gap??? No, but seriously: It's gotta suck to know your coworkers are bringing in millions more than you are. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Meryl Streep and Amy Adams have started the Julie And Julia promotional appearances! [Mirror]
• Kristin Davis has a new man, celebrity photographer Russell James. [People]
• Why did Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush break up? A source says: They never get to see each other, ever." [People]
• Wait, what? "Pink accuses Christina Aguilera of being a lesbian who wants to sleep with Lindsay Lohan." [ONTD]
• Yes! RuPaul's Drag Race Season 2 has its first contestant, and her name is Jessica Wild. Love the accent, and the energy — video at the link. [EW]
• Tobey Maguire's mom, Wendy, and brother, Weston, will be in a reality show called Growing Up Maguire; Weston rides motocross, skateboards and snowboards. [Page Six]
• Mariah Carey, Diddy and Lil Wayne were supposed to release albums this summer, but all have been delayed until September. [Reuters]
• Diddy ate dinner while gazing upon a billboard of himself. [Page Six]
• Elizabeth Mitchell from Lost is also on the new show V, and talks about joining the cast of the new show while still working on the other, and credits fans with keeping her character around. Video at the link. [EW]
• Lucy Lawless has nude scenes in her new Starz show, Spartacus, and in this video asks, "Have you ever been fitted for a merkin?" [EW]
• "A California judge appointed a lawyer Monday to oversee the estate of Nadya Suleman's octuplets, saying he wanted to ensure they weren't exploited by reality television shows, tabloid photo spreads or other paid ventures." [NY Daily News]
• Hitting on Keri Russell when she is with her kid doesn't impress Keri Russell. [Page Six]
• Dubliners took to the street and protested U2's noisy all-night stage dismantling, which caused the band's trucks to miss their ferry, which affected the tour schedule. [AP]
• Sir Sean Connery may come out of retirement to narrate a film about former servicemen involved in nuclear testing on Christmas Island in the Indian Ocean. [Daily Express]
• Dominic West is in a new film with "Bond girl" Olga Kurylenko and says: "I thought I was going to get involved in a mud wrestle with her, but, in the end, she had a 12-foot spear, so I didn't really get anywhere near her." [Telegraph]
• Uh-oh, Chris Tucker owes over $3 million in back taxes. Where has he been lately, anyway? [TMZ]
• Want Joan Rivers roast jokes? Get 'em here. A sample: "You're like Robo-Cop, you're half-human and nobody's given a shit about you since 1986." [Page Six]
• "Peter Andre has hinted that his estranged wife Jordan had a miscarriage with their baby due to excessive boozing during her pregnancy." [The Sun]
• "I love sickos. Dennis Nilsen, Fred and Rose West, Ted Bundy — I'm obsessed. I've always been into that kind of stuff — real cut-up, blood and gore murders." — Katie "Jordan" Price. [The Sun]
• "Pete dumped me by phone," Katie Price claims. [The Sun]
• "The Broadcasting Complaints Commission has upheld a complaint against RTÉ for allowing actor Gabriel Byrne to endorse Dublin City Council election candidate Mannix Flynn on the Late Late Show one week before the poll." [Irish Times]
• "Quentin got the Jewish director to do the Nazi propaganda film. [And] I thought I'd never do anything more disgusting than Hostel II." — Eli Roth on his Inglourious Basterds role. [Page Six]
• "We have a horrendous row within days of being reunited because it's annoying to have someone else telling you what to do and then we get over that and we are really happy." — Helen Mirren on her marriage to Taylor Hackford, whom she is often away from for months at a time. [Daily Express]
• "It's a lot different from anything I've done before. It's not a pop-rock record. This is more about emotion and feeling." — Avril Lavigne on her new album. [Reuters]
• "It's based on all of Lewis Carroll's material, including the 'Jabberwocky Poem.' Past 'Alice' films were always just a girl wandering around passively with a lot of weird characters. We tried to weave it into a story that has emotion to it and makes sense. I've seen many of the different versions of 'Alice' over the years. I know there was a musical porno movie I remember seeing in the '70s. And lots of other different versions." — Tim Burton on his Alice In Wonderland film. [Reuters]
• Q:What does Johnny Depp bring to the Mad Hatter? A: "He likes dressing up. I think with the Alice in Wonderland characters, they've often been portrayed as just crazy without much subtext, and I think he tried to bring something, an underlying human quality to the craziness. He tried to understand it a bit more...We try to give each character their own particular craziness. And he's good at sort of exploring that, I guess because he's crazy. I don't know." — Tim Burton. [Reuters]

• Remember this report that Quentin Tarantino asked Brad Pitt to join the cast of Inglourious Basterds over some wine and some weed?

Quentin says: "That was Brad. He did the fabrication. He can take a Coke can and make it - functional." [NY Mag]

• Unsolicited uterus update: "Is Penelope Cruz pregnant?" Is she? [Page Six]
• Matt Damon has launched a new humanitarian project, Water.org, aimed at bringing clean water sources to nearly 890 million people at risk of disease. [Mirror]
• "Why I Waited Until 44 To Do My First Nude Scene, By The Proposal Star Sandra Bullock." Actually, she doesn't explain that, but she does say: "If you're naked and you're trying to be sexy — you don't really make as much money as if you're naked and you're funny." [Daily Mail]
• NYC Artist Dash Snow has died of a drug overdose; his brother, Maxwell Snow, dated Mary-Kate Olsen. [ONTD, Page Six]
• What will the Harry Potter stars do after the the movies are over? Daniel Radcliffe hopes to head back to the stage, but also "sleep"; Emma Watson will attend college, but would like to work with directors Alfonso Cuaron and Guillermo del Toro; Rupert Grint says: "I look forward to seeing what else is out there and to move on, really." [USA Today]
• In a poll, Hermione was voted the favorite Harry Potter character. And! "Some 51% thought [Emma] Watson would have the best post-Potter career, with a large majority (67 percent) approving the idea of her appearing naked." Eyeroll! [Reuters]
• Uh, the Vatican approves of the latest Harry Potter movie, since it makes the debate over good versus evil crystal clear. [Mirror]
• Madonna's boyfriend Jesus Luz is "resentful" that Guy Ritchie has been hanging around lately. But, you know, Madge and Guy were married for eight years and have three kids together. So. As for Jesus, a source says Madonna likes him because "He's pretty and she can boss him around." [Gatecrasher]
• Pity the Poles! Britney's Circus tour won't be stopping in Warsaw, due to a contractual dispute. [AP]
• Robert Redford got married on Saturday! The bride was a German Fräulein named Sibylle Szaggars; the ceremony took place at St. Catherine Church in Hamburg. Herzlichen Glückwunsch! [AP]
• Nicole Kidman's daughter, Sunday Rose, has turned one year old, and Nic and husband Keith Urban celebrated with a "little cake." Also, Keith says, "My wife made a beautiful video that covered her first year and we gave that to all the family." The kid is already a film star. [Daily Express]
• David Beckham has a new tattoo: The ring of roses around his arm has one flower for each year of marriage to wife Victoria. Sweet. [Daily Mail]
• Is Simon Cowell worth £100 million a year? That's what he's negotiating for to stay on American Idol. [Mirror]
• An X Factor fan lost her purse and Simon Cowell gave her a wad of his own cash. He can spare it! [EW]
• The LAPD is treating Michael Jackson's death as a homicide, and Dr. Conrad Murray is the focus of the investigation. [TMZ]
• Debbie Rowe's lawyer denies that she accepted $4 million to walk away from the custody battle. He says: "Ms. Rowe has not accepted — and will not accept — any additional financial consideration beyond the spousal support she and Michael Jackson personally agreed to several years ago." The New York Post printed a story claiming that Rowe had struck a deal with the Jackson family, and her lawyer is calling it "unequivocally false." [TMZ, CBS News, Reuters]
• Debbie Rowe sent emails to a friend which say: "I'm not going after custody. These kids are not mine. They were never mine. They were always Michael's. I was Michael's best friend." [Extra]
• Dr. Arnold Klein, Michael Jackson's dermatologist, is not fully cooperating with official requests for medical records. [TMZ]
• The DEA is trying to find out who supplied Michael Jackson with the powerful anesthesia Propofol. [TMZ]
• "A maker of the potent anesthetic propofol found in Michael Jackson's home has been contacted by federal officials investigating the pop star's death and has recalled tens of thousands of vials of the drug after two tainted lots sickened dozens of patients." [AP]
• "I never saw him on drugs. Not once. He deliberately did it away from us. He didn't want his family to know anything about that part of him." — Tito Jackson on Michael's drug use. [Mirror]
• Jack Wishna, a Las Vegas businessman who tried to organized comeback shows for Michael Jackson, says the pop star would move a bunch of mattresses on to the floor so he and all his kids could play, jump up and down and sleep in the same room. In addition, he would leave his Christmas trees up for about seven months. [E!]
• At this link, you'll find similarities and differences between real-life super agent Ari Emanuel and the character inspired by him, Entourage's Ari Gold. [Independent]
• Zooey Deschanel was supposed to headline a screening and Q&A of her film 500 Days Of Summer on Monday, but she'd already headed to Ireland where she's shooting Your Highness, a fantasy flick in which she plays a princess. Zooey sent a recorded statement in which she said, "Umm, I guess I should maybe answer a few questions preemptively. ... I did the movie because I liked it." [Observer]
• Vanessa Hudgens will be in a movie called Bandslam, playing a character named Sa5m, and — this is important — the 5 is silent. [People]
• Emily Blunt joins Matt Damon in Adjustment Bureau, a movie based on a Philip K. Dick short story. [Variety]
• Russell Brand: The voice of the Easter Bunny. In a live action/CGI family comedy called I Hop, to be released in March 2011. [Variety]
• Miley Cyrus will star in Wings, a movie based on a novel about a high-school girl who sprouts a pair of wings and learns that she is a fairy. [Variety]
• Hugh Jackman's signed on to appear in Avon Man, in which guys laid off from an auto dealership end up working as Avon salesmen. Jackman + makeup + comedy? We're in. [Variety]
• Usher has a summer camp, Camp New Look, that invites 130 children to spend two weeks in Atlanta learning about the business side of sports and entertainment. Hey says: "These kids come here and they're like 'Oh, wow … we're going to learn about entertainment!' But they leave engaged in life and knowing that, 'I can have a future outside of music.' That's what makes me most proud." [USA Today]
• Uh-oh. Robert De Niro is a victim of an art scam? He is gonna take you down. Take you down to Chinatown. [Reuters]
• Hmm, I didn't know that Rashida Jones was dating President Obama's speechwriter, Jon Favreau. Where have I been? [Page Six]
• Q-Tip has inked a deal to publish his memoir, titled Industry Rules. Is one chapter titled "I Left My Wallet In El Segundo"? [mediabistro.com]
• Interesting piece about Angie Dickinson, who starred in the 1974-78 NBC series Police Woman, for which she earned a Golden Globe award and Emmy nominations as L.A. police officer Sgt. Pepper Anderson. The show paved the way for future female-driven cop shows. [LA Times]
• Congrats To Joey McIntyre and his wife, who are expecting their second child in December. [People]
• Some guy was trying to sue Janet Jackson, claiming that her bodyguards beat him up in a club, but the case was dismissed due to a lack of evidence. [Goathamist]
• Aerosmith bass player Tom Hamilton is recovering from non-invasive surgery and will miss some tour dates. [Reuters]
• Jane Fonda and music producer Richard Perry: It's on. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which grungy young starlet's idea of a good time is getting stoned with her ex-hippie parents?" [Gatecrasher]
• "When you have three kids, you've got to take your opportunities when they come. In a limo, on the way to the Academy Awards this year, Will started looking at me in this way that drives me wild. We started kissing passionately, and the next thing I knew, well, let's just say we missed the red carpet and I ended up with almost no makeup on." — Jada Pinkett Smith spills about her sex life. [Page Six]
• "[She] wipes the floor with me every time I play her." — Daniel Radcliffe, who says Emma Watson is a pro at table tennis. [The Sun]
• "I respect criticism. But I know more about film than most of the people writing about me. Not only that, I'm a better writer than most of the people writing about me. And I can write film criticism better than most of the people writing about me. [My goal was] to get the biggest standing ovation of the festival, and I got it [...] Sometimes it's your time to be Elvis, and that was my time." — Quentin Tarantino, on the mixed reviews of Inglourious Basterds and its reception at Cannes. [NY Mag]
• "I'm a trained astronaut, and it's my time to go." — Lance Bass is still hoping to head to space. [Gatecrasher]
• "I don't have his number, so haven't spoken to him. But I can safely say that his insisting that girls would choose me over him that they would not. That they do not. He is the much prettier and can be much more charming. And he can do that thing of being sultry and sexy." — Daniel Radcliffe, on Robert Pattinson. [The Daily Beast]
• "Although my grief over Michael could not be any deeper, I am not on suicide watch as some of the cheaper 'rags' would have you believe." — Elizabeth Taylor. [CNN]

• Chace Crawford has moved out of the NYC apartment he shared with Ed Westwick and into a penthouse way downtown.

Is Chace upgrading with his Footloose money? Well, this report claims that Ed is a slob, and Chace couldn't take the mess any more. Related: Anyone want to move in with Chuck Bass? [Us Magazine]

• Bradley Cooper gave Jennifer Aniston the "let's just be friends" speech, and she is "devastated." Allegedly. Consider the source on this, and the media's obsession with painting Jen as desperate and lonely. [MSNBC via National Enquirer]
• Emmy Rossum was Tweeting about her outfit for Jessica Simpson's birthday party at noon the day of the event, not knowing it was canceled due to Jess and Tony's breakup. [Gatecrasher]
• Here's a love autopsy, titled "Jessica and Tony's Relationship: What Went Wrong?" [People]
• Hermione gone wild! Emma Watson is really changing things up: She's set to star in a "Goth-inspired" remake of Cinderella, being masterminded by Marilyn Manson. [The Sun]
• Hayden Panettiere doesn't know how to let a guy down easy: "I'm not good at learning that sometimes you don't like someone in that way - and figuring out how to deal with that. I don't want to hurt his feelings." Just say: "It's not you, its me." [The Sun]
• UK tabloid rag Heat magazine conducted a poll for "most enviable body," and, surprise, surprise: Megan Fox won. [Mirror]
• A federal judge says Survivor winner Richard Hatch can't attend the 10th anniversary edition of the reality show in Samoa, since he's under home confinement. [NY Daily News]
• Has Debbie Rowe dropped her custody fight in exchange for $4 million? [NY Post]
• Uh-oh: Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa has returned from vacation and found that the councilwoman acting as mayor in his absence was urging people to donate money for Michael Jackson's memorial. Villaraigosa says: "This is a world-class city, and we provide fire and police protection, period. The idea that we would charge the family for a funeral is nonsensical." He called the donation website "ridiculous" and shut it down. [E!, AP]
• The coroner should have results from toxicology tests and should know Michael Jackson's cause of death by next week. [NY Daily News]
• Michael Jackson's estate is being handled by two men: attorney John Branca and recording executive John McClain. But an attorney for the Jackson family says that Katherine Jackson should be treated like a third trustee. [AP]
• "One of Michael Jackson's former housekeepers told law enforcement the singer was often in such bad shape from drugs his eyes would roll back in his head." [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson had planned to channel Fred Astaire on his This Is It tour. [Gatecrasher]
• Renée Zellweger's car and driver ditched her in the Hamptons over the weekend. [Page Six]
• Dylan McDermott has a new show about undercover cops, Dark Blue, He says: "My uncle was a cop and I used to ride around with him when I was a kid. There's something so powerful about it." If he were to go undercover and target a group, he's go for "Either the Mafia or the Aryan Brotherhood. I hope I'm as brave as [my character]. I don't think I'm in the same situations, living in Brentwood. It's the housewives that will eventually take you down. They're more dangerous than any gang." [USA Today]
• Kim Cattrall and her younger boyfriend: Dunzo. [Perez]
• Denzel Washington has withdrawn from the film Unstoppable after budget and start date issues. He would have been playing a veteran engineer who tries to help a young conductor (Chris Pine) stop a runaway train. [Variety]
• Is Akon dodging legal papers in a paternity case? [E!]
• A man named Anthony Spinner claims he created the TV show Lost — 32 years ago. [TMZ]
• Overachiever! Aidan Gillen played a Baltimore mayor on The Wire, and he's actually a former Dublin altar boy. [Guardian]
• Speaking of The Wire, there was fatal gunfire at a Brooklyn bash hosted by actor Jamie Hector — who played drug dealer Marlo Stanfield on the show. Hector says: "I would like to make it clear that the shooting incident [Sunday] did not take place at my home, nor did it involve me, my wife, nor any of the invited guests. [NY Daily News]
• Check it out: Tony Curtis filled out the Proust Questionnaire. He says his greatest fear is "People might not remember me." And his motto is "Fuck 'em and feed 'em fish." [Vanity Fair]
• Trudie Styler has a fitness DVD set to Sting's mandolin music; she has transformed her physique by training for four hours a day. Nice work if you can get it. [Mirror
• Larry King's wife is up for a role in Bono's Broadway version of Spider-man. [Page Six]
• Whatshisname is accusing Whatshername of spilling private details. [Daily Mail]
• Blind item! "Which openly gay TV star likes to show off his stuff at the gym by walking around sans towel - and referring to himself as 'porn-worthy?'" [Gatecrasher]
• "You know, I'm not really doing the dating thing, I don't feel like I'm in the world of dating. I don't feel like a young twentysomething. I'm happy working but it's not a case of 'I don't have time for a girlfriend'. I do. It's just like everyone else who's single I suppose." — Daniel Radcliffe is looking for love. [Telegraph]
• "After Mad Men I got a lot of 'How dare you speak to Don Draper like that?' People — mainly women — were mad at me that I told Don off." — Patrick Fischler, who played insult comic Jimmy Barrett on Mad Men. [LA Times]
• Directors don't get better, they get worse! When you gotta go out and make a movie to pay for the kids' private school and for the three ex-wives, don't talk to me about your artistry. It's their job. I don't want to have to watch the movie I made to pay for my pool." — Quentin Tarantino plans to stop making movies when he turns 60. [Gatecrasher]
• "[In a relationship], you're probably going to drop the F-bomb once in a while. You're probably going to say some things that are kind of harsh. And you're definitely going to talk about sex. It doesn't have to be so Snow White and Prince Charming. That's my problem with a lot of romantic comedies." — Katherine Heigl. [People]

• Though Kate Gosselin filed for divorce from Jon on Monday, the filing does not contain custody information at this time. Will Kate ask for primary custody? How much time will Jon get? [Star Magazine]

• By the by, those Crooked Houses Jon & Kate's 8 play in? $7,000 a piece. [ABC News]
• Kate Gosselin is on People magazine, with the cover line: "It feels like I failed." [People]
• New Jon & Kate episodes will include Jon's new girlfriend, 23-year-old Deanna Hummel. [Gatecrasher]
• "Reports this week claim Aniston has been sent text messages by Angelina Jolie demanding she 'back off'." Heh. Hahhaha. Ha. [Daily Mail]
• Is Britney Spears going to be in a Nazi movie? Brain… cannot… compute. [National Ledger]
• Rihanna didn't take the stand in Chris Brown's court case, so now Cover Girl has resumed its ad campaign featuring the singer. It's okay to think she's pretty again! [TMZ]
• Perez Hilton has released a new statement in which he says: "Words can hurt." And: "I wish none of it had happened. I can't take it back." And: "Who I am as a person and what I do for a living are two separate things." And: "Several television and radio shows over the past couple of days echoed the sentiment 'He had it coming'. Would they have said the same thing if I was a woman? Would I have 'deserved it' if I had been stabbed? Or shot? Or killed?" [Perez]
• Anne Hathaway loans her friends designer dresses out of her closet. [Gatecrasher]
• If you work for Oprah, you're going on a trip! She is taking 100 employees - and their families - on an all-expenses paid 10-day cruise around the Mediterranean. JEALOUS. [Gatecrasher via Pop Crunch]
• "Madonna is trying to recreate her beloved Wiltshire manor in the middle of Manhattan." [The Sun]
• "Fitness fanatic Madonna has banned smoking roadies from coming within 50ft of her…" [The Sun]
• Video of Zachary Quinto walking his dog with a friend who is dressed as a giant steak. Quinto falls, curses. The walking resumes. Inexplicable. [ONTD]
• LOL: Ellen's variety show will be called Bigger Longer & Wider. It debuts on TBS this Saturday at 9pm, with Kanye West, David Blaine and Nick Cannon among the performers. [USA Today]
• More drama involving Danielle Staub from the Real Housewives of New Jersey: The Smoking Gun has discovered that in 1986, she was charged with eight felonies, including extortion, cocaine possession, and narcotics conspiracy. And you know how Staub told People she was "never a prostitute. Never"? She told a federal agent she worked for an escort service. [MSNBC, The Smoking Gun]
• Great Q&A with Teresa from RHONJ at the link; she's asked if there's a little too much onyx and granite in her house abd says: "No, I don't think you can ever have too much. I coulda had more." [Newsweek]
• And! When asked, "On a scale of 1 to 10 how much does Danielle annoy you?" Teresa answers: "20." [Newsweek]
• The stuff dreams are made of: James Franco reading Proust. [Page Six]
• Were Megan Fox and Josh Brolin involved in a New Orleans fire? [Page Six]
• Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo: Over. But those hot tub pix live forever! [People]
• Liev Schreiber plays a cross-dresser in Ang Lee's film Taking Woodstock and says: "[Ang] really did like my legs. When I went to his office, the first thing he said to me was, 'Wow, you have really nice legs.' I thought, 'This part is mine.'" [NY Mag]
• Pardon my groan: The Jonas Brothers are on the cover of Rolling Stone (again) looking like they bought fake IDs and are headed to the local leather bar to watch some bear on cub wrestling. [JustJared]
• "Martina Navratilova sued for millions by 'wife' after being 'dumped without warning.'" [Daily Mail]
• Katherine Heigl will star in a romance flick called Life As We Know It, which she is producing with her mother. [Variety]
• Daniel Craig will star in Dream House, a psychological thriller about a man who moves his family to a small town only to find it haunted by the former inhabitants who were murdered there. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Craig Robinson, Heather Graham, Johnny Knoxville and Camilla Belle will join Kevin Spacey in the comedy Father Of Invention, which Spacey is producing. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Julianne Hough probably won't be in Footloose, as her acting is abominable. [Page Six]
• Audrina Patridge of The Hills is getting her own reality show, creatively titled The Audrina Show. [EW]
• Epic Marilyn Manson interview! He talks about how he felt when he and Evan Rachel Wood broke up: "My walls were covered in scrawlings of the lyrics and cocaine bags nailed to the wall. And I did have an experience where I was struggling to deal with being alone and being forsaken and being betrayed by putting your trust in one person, and making the mistake of that being the wrong person. And that's a mistake that everyone can relate to. I made the mistake of trying to, desperately, grasp on and save that and own it. And every time I called her that day — I called 158 times — I took a razorblade and I cut myself on my face or on my hands." [Spin]
• Marilyn Manson also says of Evan Rachel Wood: "I have fantasies every day about smashing her skull in with a sledgehammer." [Spin]
• John Travolta is in South Africa, as a way to honor his late son who loved safaris. [TMZ]
• Is R. Kelly involved in a scam that robbed the elderly of £1million? [The Sun]
• Bollywood actress Aishwarya Rai is involved with some kind of illegal purchase of land, uh-oh. [Times of India]
• Michael Madsen owes Pierce Brosnan and Quentin Tarantino money. Not ten bucks — like $25,000 to Brosnan and $1 million to QT. [TMZ]
• "Rachel Hunter devastated as ice hockey player fiancé calls off wedding SEVEN WEEKS before big day." [Daily Mail]
• Come on baby shake your pigskin: Gloria Estefan and her husband Emilio are buying a share in the NFL's Miami Dolphins. [UPI]
• Joan Rivers is moving to L.A. and selling her Upper East side condo and Connecticut cottage, which is "so filled to the brim with campy knickknackery that it almost looks découpaged" and where Joan keeps a photograph of herself next to the bed. [NY Mag]
• Phil Spector is now in the "sensitive needs" area of California state prison, which is separate from the "gen pop." [USA Today]
• Blind item! "Which TV star will absolutely scream when she discovers her husband was chasing girls at an L.A. nightclub over the weekend?" [Gatecrasher]
• Q. Was it fun flipping the table? A: "Fun? It was heat of the moment and it was something that came spontaneously. That was my anger coming out. I just had enough of her. I was just done. I've never done it before. Will I ever do it again? I don't think so because I don't think I'll let someone get to me like she does because in real life I probably would have stopped hanging out with her." — Teresa, of The Real Housewives Of New Jersey. [Newsweek]
• "I'd be a liar if I said it was easy. I think it's very different nowadays for working mothers. Before, a woman could take two years off - a year for her pregnancy and then the first year, but I don't think that's possible for women in showbusiness or in any industry any more. You just have to keep going - keep looking forward. If you stop, you're like, 'Oh God, it's too overwhelming.' And believe me, I've had my fair share of those moments." — Anna Friel. [Telegraph]
• "I really cannot tell you if there will ever be another Batman movie. Chris [Nolan, director] has obviously done an incredible job with it. He's devoted to the movie that he's on right now. I'm none the wiser about we'll ever be revisiting Gotham or not." — Christian Bale. Of another Terminator movie he says: "No conversation has been had about that at all." [Pop Wrap]
• "That song is about when someone said to me, 'Okay, I want to be with you until I die.' And then they gave up. I was at the point in my life where I was like, 'Okay, let's die, but I tell you what, I'm going to kill you first, because I don't trust you.' Honestly. It's hard to look back and see myself as the same person. I'm very objective now. I started to apply this really fantastic rule that they don't teach you in AA or AAA, or any other acronym: Do drugs and drink when you're happy, not when you're sad. It has a great effect. But I can't say that I did that the whole time." — Marilyn Manson, still talking about Evan Rachel Wood. [Spin]
• "She's a lot shorter than I thought she would be, but I was pleased by that. I'm happy there was a flaw. Having said that, I think Angelina is pretty talented. And a remarkable human being, and a great mom. She's definitely not like any other lady I know." — Six foot three Liev Schreiber, on his five foot eight Salt costar Angelina Jolie. [Gatecrasher]
• "I did teach Abby how to say the f-word. I taught her how to drop the f-bomb in every way possible. I said, 'You're a child in an adult's world. I can't be a child for you. When she didn't swear, I said, 'You're starting to offend me Abby. If you don't start swearing every three words then I will fine you.'" — Cameron Diaz, 36 on working with Abigail Breslin, 13 in My Sister's Keeper. [Mirror]
• "I am so often puzzled [by journalists]. Sometimes they go, 'So what's this all about? ... What do you look like when you go home? Do you dress like this all the time?' It's rude! It's not nice… [Lady Gaga] is who I am. Me and my hair bow, we go to bed together. She sleeps where I sleep." — Lady GaGa. [Yahoo News via AP]

• How did Brad Pitt end up in Inglourious Basterds? Booze and weed maybe:

"All I know is we talked about backstory and we talked about movies into the wee hours," Brad says. "I got up the next morning and I saw five empty bottles of wine on the floor. Five. And something that resembled smoking apparatus, I don't know what that was. Apparently I had agreed to do the movie and six weeks later I was in a uniform." You read that right: He and Quentin Tarantino were wasted and talking about Hitler. [Guardian]

• "'Today' show's Ann Curry can't keep hands off 'Inglourious Basterds' Brad Pitt in Cannes." [NY Daily News]
• Some guy named Kris Allen won this thing called American Idol. Will the Glambert have a career?!?! [Reuters, NY Daily News]
• Simon Cowell has his personal bodyguards watching over Terri Seymour after she was attacked by a disgruntled American Idol fan. [Daily Mail]
• Green Day has the most popular CD in the country, but you can't get it at Wal-Mart; "They won't carry our record because they wanted us to censor it," frontman Billie Joe Armstrong says. The retailer would have offered a "clean" version, but Billie Joe explains: "We just said no. We've never done it before. You feel like you're in 1953 or something." [AP]
• Rihanna was indeed seen kissing rapper Drake, whom you may know as Aubrey Graham, aka Jimmy Brooks on Degrassi: The Next Generation; the guy in the wheelchair. Remember that time he found out he couldn't get it up? Yeah. Anyway click here for a LOL. [People]
• The recent Bruce Springsteen hubub — in which he was accused of having an affair with his neighbor's wife — was actually extortion. The husband thought the rocker would pay "big money" to make the accusations "go away." [NY Post]
• The brother of Jon Gosselin's alleged mistress says: "The rumors are true… Personally, I do think they're going to continue seeing each other. I think they think they can get away with it." [E!]
• Kate Gosselin says the tabloids are making her life hell and she is worried about the kids: . "I don't want them dragged into this. It kills me. I've been saying, 'Let's find a country where our show doesn't air, and let's just go there until this all dies.' I have to laugh about this, or else I'll cry. It's a matter of, when will they stop?" [People]
• Mariah Carey announced the title of her new album via Twitter: "Bcuz I Love U, I want u to be the first to know the title of my new album Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel. It's very personal & dedicated to u." It is not dedicated to proper spelling, however. [Mirror]
• Talent firms William Morris and Endeavor are merging, which is good news for clients like Amy Adams, Keira Knightley, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, but bad news for the 100+ people who have been laid off. [Gatecrasher]
• Chris Brown may be working on a country song called "Trapped In A Dream." Doesn't he mean nightmare? [E!]
• Kim Cattrall has written an essay about making Memorial Day meaningful for The Huffington Post. She writes: "My family has served in the military dating back at least four generations, so I can truly appreciate the sacrifices made by those men and women who have fought so courageously in defense of freedom." [HuffPo]
• Kim Kardashian's Dash stores in Miami and Calabasas CA have both been vandalized — the perps scribbled graffiti on the windows, and the kopykat krime in CA included a note which read, "We love you Kim!!" If you love her, why are you spraypainting her windows? [TMZ, E!]
• Susan Boyle: Namechecked on The Simpsons. [Mirror]
• The head honcho at Disney/ABC is being dragged into Kate Walsh's divorce battle — Kate's ex wants him to testify about Kate's finances. [TMZ]
• Josh Lucas has dumped a gf via text message in the past. "I'm sickeningly embarrassed about it to this day." [Gatecrasher]
• A man in Montana — who was accused in 2005 of trying to kidnap David Letterman's son — was denied appeal by the Montana Supreme Court. [AP]
• Michael Jackson canceled the first four opening shows of his 50-date gig at London's O2 arena, which means 80,000 fans who had bought tickets will have to wait up to eight months to see the concerts. Jackson says the cancellation is due to "technical issues." As in, technically, he is not ready to do a huge concert? [Daily Mail]
• Can you ever, ever get tired of seeing pictures of 50 Cent and Bette Midler together? [Gatecrasher]
• James Cameron's Avatar, described by Steven Soderbergh as "the craziest shit ever," may be shown in theaters for THREE MONTHS. [NY Mag]
• Natalie Cole had a kidney transplant on Tuesday; she had been have dialysis three times a week since September. [CNN]
• "'Meet me man to man and I'll save your marriage,' Katie Price's horse 'hunk' tells Peter Andre." [Daily Mail]
• In case you didn't hear, My Name Is Earl has been canceled. [Mirror, BBC]
• Abbie Cornish is in Jane Campion's new flick, Bright Star, and according to this report, she "dyed her locks chocolate brown, filled out her figure to fit with the era's rounder beauty standards and took diction lessons in order to deliver Keats' poetry just so." [WWD]
• Rosario Dawson will star opposite — ugh — Kevin James in a romcom called The Zookeeper. What is up with the schlubby dudes getting hot ladies? [Variety]
• Hank Azaria plays a reanimated ancient Egyptian bent on world domination in Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian and says: "It's kind of my niche — semi-naked, accented freak." [LA Times]
• Rapper/producer Swizz Beatz is in a relationship with Alicia Keys. But he's not yet divorced from wife Mashonda. He wants the court to seal documents related to the divorce so the public doesn't know any details. [Page Six]
• Michael Douglas spent Wednesday night moderating a panel of Washington experts on the issue of ridding the world of nuclear weapons. I watched Clean House. [USA Today]
• Phil Spector may get life in prison. [Mirror]
• Congrats to Chad Lowe and girlfriend Kim Painter, whose first child, Mabel Painter Lowe, was born on Saturday. [Star]
• Samantha Harris, the lady with the brown hair on Dancing With The Stars, will play Roxie Hart in Chicago on Broadway. [Page Six]
• Heather Mills was approached to be the face of a video game (based around someone with a prosthetic arm), but she wanted six figures to get involved with the project, and the producers were like, No. [The Sun]
• Redmond O'Neal was transferred to a new jail, where he'll begin intensive drug treatment. [People]
• "As she exhibits the bloodstained bag John Lennon's clothes were stored in after his murder, why the ex-Beatle's fans are saying 'You're just a ghoul, Yoko.'" [Daily Mail]
• RIP Wayne Allwine, who was the voice of Mickey Mouse. [Reuters]
• Blind item! "Which top model was dismissed from her agency - all because she became a Scientologist?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Batman's a hell of a lot tougher to do because he's all physical. He doesn't use guns. He's completely physical. John Connor uses guns. It's just a matter of picking somebody off and getting a good shot." — Christian Bale. [Mirror]
• "I've joined the millions and millions of women on the planet who are working mums, and I've discovered it's a real balancing act. I think the most incredible thing for me was that I didn't read any books about how to be a mum. Your instinct kicks in, and it's like you're tapping knowledge that you have in your DNA." — Rachel Weisz. [Mirror]
• "Artistically, me and Brad have been sniffing around each other for a while. The longing looks across the room, the little notes, 'I like you, do you like me.' Pretty quickly into writing I realised this is the one for Brad and then I started getting nervous – 'shit, if he doesn't do it, what the fuck am I going to do?'" — Quentin Tarantino, on Inglourious Basterds. he also says: "I'm never going to explain the spelling. When you do an artistic flourish like that, to describe it, to explain it, to take the piss out of it would invalidate the whole stroke in the first place." [Guardian]
• "We interviewed GfE's. They were intrigued by (the film). They were very helpful, very open. They would have to see the film to let me know if it's an accurate depiction of their lifestyle or not. There was only one of them we talked to that was in a committed relationship. That was one of the things we talked about — how do relationships work when this is your job? Most of them said it really doesn't. Most of them said if I'm going to get serious with someone then I'll stop working for a while and play it out. All of them said it never works out with a client. Whenever you move from the client to a real relationship it never works out. Although the one that we met who was in a committed relationship did meet that person as a client and they have been together for a long time. So I guess there are no absolutes. But in general they seem to think that doesn't work." — Steven Soderbergh, on his new film, The Girlfriend Experience. [Reuters]
• "Every time I am making a movie I feel insecure, and I feel scared, and that's part of the way I work.If one day I would be on the set feeling too secure - that would really scare me." — Penelope Cruz. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "I'd like to offer an apology and a clarification to remarks I made recently. While on the David Letterman program, I joked that I might need a ‘mail-order bride' to achieve the goal of having more children in my life. I believe that most people understood that this was a joke and took it as such. (A dated reference, no doubt, and another sign of my advancing age.) However, I do apologize to anyone who took offense." — Jack Donaghy Alec Baldwin. [MSNBC]
• "Showbiz types are people who grew up talking to themselves alone in a room for hours until they found some sort of outlet. Once they found that outlet, everything fell into place, except for the fact that they still never worked out why they still talk so much. So you see, though filled with deep emotional voids that can never be filled, Showbiz Types are an important part of our Nation's tapestry. I'm a Showbiz Type. (cue penny whistle and marching drums) But I am not a douche!!" — John Mayer. [Perez]
• "FRESH ASS PICTURE!!! YO WHY CAN'T ALL PAPARAZZI PHOTOS BE THIS GOOD? WELL OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE MOST CELEBS JUST AREN'T RIHANNA LOL! ... BUT ON THE REAL, THIS PIC IS HARDCORE. PEEP THE PERSPECTIVE SHOT OF THE CITY IN THE BACK. SOMETIMES THE PAPS OVEREXPOSE THE LENS OR HAVE THE FLASH TOO HIGH TAKING ALL THE EMOTION OUT OF THE MOMENT. THIS MOMENT IS CAPTURED IN TIME NOW. I LOOK AT OUR CURRENT SUPERSTARS LIKE LEGENDS IN THE MAKING... LIKE JUSTIN IS THE NEW MIKE , BEYONCE'S THE NEW TINA TURNER, GAGA'S MADONNA, JAY IS SINATRA... WAYNE IS HENDRIX, THOM YORKE IS ROGER WATERS, THESE ARE THE CHAMPIONS AND SHOULD BE DOCUMENTED AS SUCH. THAT SAID, IT WOULD BE DOPE IF THE PAPS OPERATED WITH THE SAME INTEGRITY AND ATTENTION TO THEIR CRAFT AS THE LEGENDS THEY PHOTOGRAPH..... GOOD JOB ON THIS ONE!" — Your friend Kanye West, complimenting a snap of Rihanna. [Kanye Univercity, NY Daily News]

Inglourious Basterds, like many of Tarantino's other films, is an elaborate revenge fantasy, which follows a group of Jewish-American soldiers as they seek out Nazis to murder and mutilate in German-occupied France. With the name lifted from an old, little known Italian film, and inspiration drawn from spaghetti westerns, Tarantino crafts Inglourious Basterds from an interesting hodgepodge of influences, which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. Brad Pitt plays the lead as a Tennessee-born hillbilly-turned-soldier who enjoys carving swastikas into every Nazi he encounters. While Pitt is ostensibly the star of the film, Austrian actor Christoph Waltz steals the show with his portrayal of a SS officer nicknamed the "Jew Hunter." Other big names include Dianne Kruger, Mike Myers, Rod Taylor, and Tarantino's personal friend and director of Hostel, Eli Roth. Clocking in at almost three hours, Inglourious Basterds outlives its welcome with most every critic, but some more so than others.

Let's start with the really bad before moving into "just OK" territory. The Guardian compares the film to "some colossal armour-plated turkey from hell":

Quentin Tarantino's cod-WW2 shlocker about a Jewish-American revenge squad intent on killing Nazis in German-occupied France is awful. It is achtung-achtung-ach-mein-Gott atrocious. It isn't funny; it isn't exciting; it isn't a realistic war movie, yet neither is it an entertaining genre spoof or a clever counterfactual wartime yarn. It isn't emotionally involving or deliciously ironic or a brilliant tissue of trash-pop references. Nothing like that. Brad Pitt gives the worst performance of his life, with a permanent smirk as if he's had the left side of his jaw injected with cement, and which he must uncomfortably maintain for long scenes on camera without dialogue.

And those all-important movie allusions are entirely without zing, being to stately stuff such as the wartime German UFA studio, GW Pabst etc, for which Tarantino has no feeling, displaying just a solemn Euro-cinephilia that his heart isn't in. The expression on my face in the auditorium as the lights finally went up was like that of the first-night's audience at Springtime for Hitler. Except that there is no one from Dusseldorf called Rolf to cheer us up.

Telegraph misses the blood-soaked finesse of Tarantino's earlier work:

The problem is that there's not enough roaring or headhunting. Tarantino, one of the most exceptional choreographers of blood-ballet working today, should have wielded a cleaver to whole sections of this 154-minute non-epic. There is far too much yakking, some of it thickly accented and hard to follow, most of it without the rhythmic zing of his best work. The violence – Brad Pitt as one of the Basterds wiggling his finger inside Diana Kruger's wounded leg – comes as a relief. A second plot, in which a Jewish woman whose family was butchered by Nazis organizes a film screening to assassinate Hitler and Goebbels – is more succinctly and powerfully handled.

Variety has a slightly more positive take, but still, not exactly glowing review:

While World War II has probably inspired as much fiction as any other single topic in film history, "Inglourious Basterds" is one of the few to have brazenly altered history to such an extent. Because he carefully sets up the approach at the outset, as well as through his sense of style, Tarantino gets away with it, and is in a position to fine-tune the picture before locking a final cut. Other scenes ripe for pruning are all those featuring Hitler prior to the grand finale, interludes that come off as cartoony, unconvincing and unnecessary.

In a true ensemble picture, Waltz stands head and shoulders above the rest with a lusty performance in the juiciest role. Laurent is appealingly thoughtful and observant as the young lady awaiting her chance, Fassbender cuts a dashing figure, speaks with a wonderfully clipped accent and rather resembles Daniel Day-Lewis here, and Kruger is far more engaging and animated than she's heretofore been in her big international pictures. Pitt clearly enjoys rolling his former moonshine runner's accent around in his mouth, although his performance is overly defined by constantly jutting jaw and furrowed brow. Inferring a measure of self-evaluation by Tarantino, some viewers will take exception to the film's final line, in which Aldo admires his climactic bit of brutal handiwork: "I think this just might be my masterpiece."

The Daily Beast criticizes Tarantino for being too "talky":

Inglourious Basterds fails to be a masterpiece because if you make an epic about a little topic like avenging the Jews, you need some emotion. You need a little bit of soul stuck in with the wit and the cool and the trademark film geek insider references. I don't mean you have to get verklempt. But you want someone to hate a little bit-and someone to root for. You felt something when Thurman, as the pregnant bride in Kill Bill, was shot on her wedding day and her child taken away from her. By the time she killed Bill, you wanted him dead as much as she did.

Masterpieces also need a protagonist to carry the story, or at least one who's visible. The star of this film is really Tarantino, telegraphing us in interviews prior to the film and while we watch it what a masterpiece it is while we search for someone to lead us onscreen. Pitt's energy and hilarious character helps. Waltz is a revelation. Kruger, playing a German actress and double agent named Bridget von Hammersmark gets to hold a cigarette like Marlene Dietrich and speak her native German. But there's no hero, or anti-hero, to give the film traction beyond its series of gorgeously shot, imaginatively written and acted scenes.

And finally, the most positive review, from the BBC, still isn't great:

In the words of Tarantino, it's "the power of cinema bringing down the Third Reich".

Once again, the US director has blurred film genres. Essentially it's western meets war movie, with David Bowie on the soundtrack.

And it becomes positively camp-operatic in parts - particularly in its portrayal of a shrill, semi-hysterical Adolf Hitler and British generals who could have been lifted from 'Allo, 'Allo.

Pitt may get top billing, but he's not the star of the show.

That honour goes to Christoph Waltz, a German TV star who plays SS officer Colonel Hans Landa.

Inglourious Basterds opens August 21st.

• Twihards! Sparkle vamp Robert Pattinson says there will be a fourth Twilight movie; the plot of the book Breaking Dawn will come to the big screen. What does this mean?

To the uninitiated, (SPOILER) this creepy story involves young Bella being pregnant with a vampire baby that eats its way out of her uterus... Fun times! Vampires are dead, right? So how can they be born? Or have sperm to impregnate? Oh, that's right: SPARKLES. [The Hollywood Reporter]

• One of Robert Pattinson's bodyguards pushed a paparazzo into a trash can at Cannes. [Gatecrasher]
• Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez had dinner and drinks in Manhattan Friday night. It's so on. [People]
• Rihanna and rapper Drake: Really, really on. [Page Six]
• Sarah Jessica Parker is concerned for the safety and well-being of the surrogate carrying her twins: "She's had friends threatened and family threatened and she's had family of friends threatened," SJP says. Plus, the woman's phone and computer have been tapped/hacked. [USA Today]
• Gay bashing alert: A young woman was attacked at a party where Samantha Ronson DJ'd, and Sam says it was "simply for being gay." She writes: "NO ONE should have to suffer any sort of attack, verbal or physical, for any reason." Warning: She links to a picture of the victim's face, and the damage is terrible. [MySpace, Twitpic]
• The documentary about Amy Winehouse — Saving Amy — may reveal that the singer is struggling with anorexia, alcohol, and her parents. [Daily Mail]
• If you want to see what Michael Jackson looks like these days — without a face mask — go ahead and click. [Daily Mail]
• Property improvements! Brad Pitt is building a new pool cabana and deck on his Malibu estate, which is up for sale. If you have $18 million, you can get a lovely home, pool, tennis courts, and neighbors like Cindy Crawford and Leo DiCaprio. Any takers? [LA Times]
• Here's a first review of Brad Pitt's latest, Inglorious Basterds. Derek Malcolm calls it "absurd, overlong and mostly cardboard version of World War II." The script "places its actors in the unenviable position of appearing either melodramatic, farcical or just plain dull." And "there are some decent moments but they are few and far between." [This Is London]
• Ellen had No Doubt come to her show and overbooked the studio by 500 people — leaving hundreds in the heat and sun for hours, even though they had tickets. Feeling hella bad. [Perez]
• Shawn Johnson says Dancing With The Stars changed her life, and that her dancing partner brought out her personality. "And I've loved every second of it." [E!]
• A neighbor says Jon and Kate of Plus 8 fame are only together for the TLC paychecks. "A lot of people around town say that's what their relationship has been about for a while." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Paula Abdul was asked if all four judges would be returning to American Idol next season, and replied, "Tune in!" [LA Times]
• A reporter to Hugh Hefner: "Would you let Lindsay Lohan play for Playboy?" Hef: "Who?" Reporter: "Lindsay Lohan." Hef cluelessly looks to his young girlfriend, who says, "Lindsay Lohan?" Hef, still looking confused, says, "Sure." Its on video. [Radar Online]
• In this video, Katy Perry talks about her religious parents: "They're very much cool." And: "My mom's isn't the rock-n-roller pot-smoking debutant that she was, and my dad's not the acid dealer with long hair anymore." Plus, she says doing a second record will be good, because "It'll show that either I got lucky or that I was meant to do this." [Rolling Stone]
• Years before Jay Leno nabbed a primetime spot, NBC was asking Oprah and Letterman to try it. [Variety]
• George Clooney will star in a flick called A Very Private Gentleman, playing an assassin who who protects his cover by hiding out in an Italian town. Is it even fiction? Can't you picture Cloons having a secret identity? [Yahoo News via E!]
• Looks like Chace Crawford from Gossip Girl will definitely be in Footloose; and now he may be joined by Miley Cyrus. The world is a strange and mysterious place. [E!, The Hollywood Reporter]
• Paris Hilton has been trying to get paid to appear at nightclubs in Cannes; a source says: "They aren't about to pay her. It's not 2002." [Page Six]
• Seven words you didn't want to hear this morning: "Jennifer Love Hewitt to relaunch singing career." [NME]
• Jesus, there is still major drama going on in Gossip Girl star Kelly Rutherford's divorce and custody battle. Rutherford has filed legal papers asking the judge to bar her ex from taking their 2-year-old son Hermes home — until the dad kid-proofs the pool and play areas. [TMZ]
• In this video, Charlotte Gainsbourg, who stars in Lars von Trier's Antichrist — the one with the genital mutilation — defends the film and Von Trier against the charge that he hates and exploits women. [Guardian]
• Another day, another Slumdog Millionaire child star's home destroyed. This time it was the living quarters of little Rubina Ali. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Sienna Miller wants a rose named after her, so somebody had better get on that. [Daily Express]
• Do you care if Vanessa Minnillo is still with Nick Lachey or not? This report says she was seen "acting single." Because she was drinking and dancing in a club. [Page Six]
• Colin Firth says he was well-versed in Noel Coward's work long before he signed on to star in Easy Virtue, a film based on a Coward play. [UPI]
• Does Ryan Phillippe have a wandering eye? [Page Six]
• File under: Moms re-entering the workplace. Liz Hurley has been away from movies for five years — due to the birth of her son — but would like to come back: "I decided I couldn't do movies for a while, which was a huge decision for me because I actually love making movies more than anything," she says. If she could do a film that could work around her son's school holidays, she would "take it like a shot." [Telegraph]
• T-Mobile is bringing Catherine Zeta-Jones back to its ads. [Business Insider via WSJ]
• Interesting: Chris Pontius of Jackass fame will appear in the new Sofia Coppola film, Somewhere. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• It's hard to read this story about actor Rip Torn's probation for DUI, because his 2006 mug shot is so LOL. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Blind item! "Which wanna-be rocker had to take a trip to the emergency room because he went to sleep with his contacts in?" [Gatecrasher]
• "It is all going well and I know I am very happy right now. I want the happy ever after ending. I've definitely changed. I'm just letting things happen and seeing what does. In so many ways I am behind the mark for my age. I'm not married and I don't have children but my attitude now is that things may happen or they may not but just be happy." — Kylie Minogue, who has been dating this sweet piece of man candy for seven months. [Daily Mail]
• "I'm doing a speech about the situation with AIDS in America basically, and how we need to address what's going on. We seem to be falling a little behind in America. I find this disease very cyclical. Every 10 years or so, after we spend a lot of money trying to educate people — a new generation of people — and we tell them to have safe sex and to abstain sometimes but have safe sex, wear condoms, we find that after 10 years another whole group of people come along. And we have to start all over again, which is really, really frustrating because it takes money for education. And we find that if we could get into the schools at a grass-roots levels, which we do in places like Africa where we get to kids at a young age and we tell them about preventive measures for not getting HIV, we find the success rate is tremendous." — Elton John. [CNN]
• "I just hope it will go away, after a little bit of time. I hope I'm not naïve in thinking that's possible. I don't want to be a part of it. I can't seem to navigate a way of doing that, of actually telling the truth of events that happened without feeling I'm encouraging the whole gossip notion." — Christian Bale on his rant. [USA Today]
• "I don't want us to split up. I love my husband, but I can't sit around crying. This is a new story and a new chapter in my life. Pete is the love of my life and I am so sad and upset by his decision to separate and divorce me as I married him for life. This is not what I want, but the decision was taken out of my hands." — Katie "Jordan" Price. [Telegraph]
• "'Hot' has become a euphemism for all things positive, making it generally acceptable to use to describe everything from a jalapeño to a drum solo. It's sort of a useful word. We don't have to think of appropriate adjectives for people, places, performances, tacos, or objects anymore as they all fit snugly under the glorious umbrella of 'hotness.' So I don't know how hot I am but I'm honored to be considered as warmer than the average taco." — Olivia Wilde, who is number one on Maxim's Hot List. She also says, "Michelle [Obama] will always be No. 1 on MY list." [The Daily Beast]

• Miley Cyrus was photographed wearing a bikini in the Bahamas; the 16-year-old Tweeted a joke about her "jiggling thighs," but then went off on critics who called her fat:

"Talk all you want. I have my flaws. I'm a normal girl, there's things about my body I would change but stop with calling me f*t… People that are so okay with being so hateful disgust me and need to spend last time on a gossip website and more time a. reading your bible b. reading stories/articles about what happens when cyber abuse and name calling happens. Kids hurt themselves." The sage Disney star added: "oh and ps if your thighs don't jiggle go see a doctor. thanks" [Daily Mail]

• This report claims that Mariah Carey "threw a fit" in Cannes before the premiere of Precious because the director, Lee Daniels, was late. But an eyewitness says she was "in a great mood" at the after party and Daniels says, "I was not late." Another day, another faux drama. [Gatecrasher]
• Madonna, David Banda, Jesus Luz and Lourdes went to a Kabbalah service over the weekend, but no one seems to know if Madge and Jesus had a commitment ceremony or not. One thing is for sure: Lourdes going to the synagogue Kaballah center wearing a Ghostbusters t-shirt under her white button down = awesome. [Daily Mail]
• Bradley Cooper says the rumor about he and Jennifer Aniston dating is toro caca: "My mom loves it, but unfortunately it's not true." [People]
• Now that Cameron Diaz has split from Paul Sculfor, she was seen having a lunch date with Adam Levine from Maroon 5. He's on the herpes tree, right? [Daily Mail]
• Cynthia Nixon: Engaged to longtime girlfriend Christine Marinoni. [ET]
• Naomi Campbell is dating Russian billionaire Vladislav Doronin, whom this paper calls "the man who has tamed" her. Because, you know, wimminz is craycray without a good man. Here is an actual sentence from the piece: "Perhaps it is Vladislav's relaxed manner that has calmed her down. Or maybe Naomi, 38, finds the property tycoon's massive bank balance – said to be £1.5billion – a reassuring influence. One thing's for sure…she isn't attracted by his dodgy fashion sense, judging by those swim shorts – nor his 'man boobs.'" [Mirror]
• Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds and Betty White star in this hilarious Funny or Die video and frankly, Ms. White steals the show. Too bad it's basically viral marketing for The Proposal. [Funny Or Die]
• A few days ago, there was a "ruckus" at Paris Hilton's house; turns out someone prank called the heiress and told her that Tinkerbell was roadkill on Mulholland Drive. Paris freaked out; neighbors thought they heard an argument and called cops; they really want Paris out of the neighborhood. Sigh. [TMZ]
• Dustin Lance Black, who wrote Milk, is glad Miss California Carrie Prejean kept her crown: "What I think she does is help identify a population that we need to reach out to," he says. "The only way we could get through to some of these groups that vote against us on election day is by telling our stories. That process of education breaks down the stereotypes, the lies and the myths. I'm actually glad [Carrie] didn't lose her job." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Beyoncé is obsessed with Sex And The City and thinks of herself as a Carrie: "She was the person who held all the friendships together." [Mirror]
• "Amber Tamblyn and David Cross Make Out In Public." [Page Six]
• James Gray, who directed Two Lovers, says Gwyneth Paltrow asked him to inspect her breasts: "Gwyneth told me, 'I don't care about nudity, I'll give you everything you need. But I've had two children and I just don't think they look very good any more. Do me a favour, come into my trailer and I'll show them to you and if you think they look OK I'll do it.' So I marched in there and I told her they looked great." And! if you want to see one, nipple and all, click the link. [The Sun]
• Emily Blunt was supposed to be in Get Him To The Greek with Russell Brand, playing a "sex-crazed" pop star who beds Brand's character. But: "She got cold feet and pulled out. She's no prude but the stumbling block was that her character had far too many explicit love scenes." [Daily Express]
• Ricky Gervais wore pajamas to the white house. [The Sun]
• A reporter spoke to Chelsy Davy about her ex, Prince Harry, and writes this: "At a recent dinner the blonde South African, who dated Harry for four years, was asked why she had split with the Prince. She shot me a look of disdain and replied: 'Because he cheated on me.'" [Mirror]
• Is Fergie bisexual? She says: "Put it this way, I've experimented definitely, but I have never had a steady girlfriend." [The Sun]
• Farrah Fawcett's son, currently serving a jail sentence, was allowed to visit her on Friday — the same day Farrah's Story aired — to "say goodbye." [NY Daily News]
• There may be another cut of Farrah's Story in the works, emphasizing that her type of cancer is curable if caught early. [MSNBC]
• Michael Jackson has said he will not perform with Janet and the Jackson 5, but some concert promoter is still trying to make it happen, and if it doesn't, he'll sue MJ. [TMZ]
• Also, contrary to earlier reports, Michael Jackson does not have skin cancer. A spokesperson says the singer "doesn't have any diseases whatsoever." [Guardian]
• Ewan McGregor wants to get a pilot's license but frets that he won't be able to rack up flying hours: "What worries me about it is if I get the licence, what happens if I'm always going away? I don't like to fly when I'm making a movie, so I'm gonna be the most inconsistent pilot." [Daily Express]
• Amy Adams, who is engaged but "too busy" to plan a wedding, says she prepared for Night At The Museum 2 to be on IMAX screens by doing Pilates "as often as I could." [People]
• Rumer Willis guest stars tonight on Medium, alongside Angelica Huston; executive producer Glenn Gordon Caron was the one who gave Rumer's dad, Bruce Willis, his big break in Moonlighting. [AP]
• Oh, and Rumer Willis is a fan of Twitter: "It's a great place for starting a new era of people being less harsh or judgmental. You can really get to know people and everybody is just a human. Just because they have a different job doesn't make them any less a person than anybody else." [AP]
• A psychic who works as a producer on The Ghost Whisperer knew Jennifer Love Hewitt would never marry actor Ross McCall. Freaky! [Page Six]
• Katie "Jordan" Price and Peter Andre are holding "crisis talks" to try and saved their shattered marriage. Although she is in the Maldives and he is in Cyprus. [Daily Mail]
• this paper asks Kristin Scott Thomas: Have you kept in touch with Prince? I read that the song "Better With Time," on his last album, was an ode to you. She replies: "If it's true, it's fantastic. He came to see "The Seagull" [when Scott Thomas was acting on Broadway last year] and was completely wowed by it. A lot of people knew what we were doing and he just turned up. He is incredibly intelligent and talented - if he's written a song for me, it's just the most wonderful present. He's just brilliant, brilliant, brilliant at what he does. What's really great about getting older is that down the road you meet people you haven't seen for a long time and they're still doing something you really admire." Thomas's film debut was as a topless French socialite in Under The Cherry Moon. [NY Daily News]
• Mary Carey, a former patient of Dr. Drew Pinksy, has released a porn titled Celebrity Pornhab with Dr. Screw. [TMZ]
• Did you know that Catherine Zeta-Jones used to be engaged to Hollywood producer Jon Peters — the same guy who's been dishing about Barbra Streisand? [Daily Mail]
• Balthazar Getty and Sienna Miller are over, for real this time. Sienna is now "getting friendly" with Josh Hartnett. [Mirror]
• Jason Priestley and his wife rushed their 1-year-old daughter Ava from a Von's grocery store to the hospital on Saturday — no one knows what happened, but he kid is okay. When i was a kid i got my finger pinched by the wheel while sitting in the bottom of a Kroger shopping cart and the butcher wrapped it up with tape. True story. [TMZ]
• Larry King's 11th book is a memoir; the man has been married eight times to seven women. He's had a personal relationship with every president since Richard Nixon. He says: "If you're going to write an autobiography, you can't leave things out." [USA Today]
• There will be a Broadway musical based on First Wives Club. You're been warned. [Variety]
• William Hurt, Jessica Chastain and Vanessa Redgrave will appear in Ralph Fiennes' directorial debut, Coriolanus, which is a Shakespearean Roman tragedy but will be set in the current day as a political thriller. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Tilda Swinton will star in a film (based on a novel) called We Need to Talk About Kevin. She'll play a "smart, educated New York mother who does her best to raise a son she never wanted in the first place." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Liam Neeson and Jennifer Connelly will star in What's Wrong With Virginia, and the film will be the directorial debut of Dustin Lance Black, the Oscar-winning screenwriter of Milk. [Variety]
• Rita Wilson has sold a script; it's a comedy called Terms Of Embarrassment, and revolves around a middle-aged couple who wind up attending the same college as their son. Although she produced My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Mamma Mia!, this is her first script sale. [Variety]
• Milla Jovovich will star alongside Robert De Niro and Edward Norton in the psychological thriller Stone. [Variety]
• Slumdog Millionaire child star Ayush Mahesh Khedekar got another job! He'll co-star in a Swiss film called Shyam's Secret. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• If you want to know what kind of tunes Quentin Tarantino uses as "music to kill Nazis by" in his new flick, Inglourious Basterds, click the link. [Page Six]
• Star Trek wasn't strong enough to take the top spot at the box office two weekends in a row: Angels & Demons beat the sci-fi flick with $48 mil. [NY Daily News]
• Sadie Frost is reportedly working on a tell-all book, in which she will dish about "infamous bedhopping sessions" involving ex-hubby Jude Law, Supergrass drummer Danny Goffey and his wife Pearl Lowe (mother of Daisy). [Mirror]
• "It was the pills I was taking; they had my mood really fucked up. I was already depressed and with the drugs it just became a vicious cycle of depression. And as if my drug problem wasn't bad enough, when Proof died it was like, 'Son of a bitch, what I am going to do now?' I went through a lot when he died. It was the worst time in my life. It just gave me a real legitimate excuse, in my head at least, to use drugs. I didn't care if my drug problem got worse at that point so I took more pills. And the more I said fuck it and took more pills, the higher my tolerance got. The higher my tolerance got, the more I needed those pills in my body just to feel normal and not feel sick. It's a vicious cycle. I got over it all last year. I ended up coming out of all that shit that was cluttering my mind and as I came up out of the haze from the pills and everything, shit started to get clearer." — Eminem, whose album, Relapse, drops tomorrow. [Guardian]
• "It feels a little too self-loathing to me. When I go back and listen to it… it just feels like I'm pissing and moaning about whatever. It sounds like in my head I feel like I have all these things to piss and moan about. And maybe I did, maybe I didn't, I don't know, but to actually bring that kind of shit to the forefront like that, I just don't agree with it." — Eminem on his last album, Encore. [Guardian]
• "One of the main connections I had with my character was that journey that you go through when you're about to have a baby. I could relate to the people giving you so much information that you didn't need or want or ask for and also having some of it be completely outrageous." — Maya Rudolph, on her film, Away We Go, which also stars John Krasinski. [UPI]
• "Some girls were mean. They made fun of me because I dressed differently. Nuns ran my school, so I was suppressing this part of myself for a long time. It wasn't until later that I realized my true passions were music, art and performance... definitely shock art." — Lady GaGa. [Daily Mail]
• "I don't know if I'm fashion-obsessed. I think when I'm working, yes, but when I'm at home I usually wear the same thing every day. I have my straight-leg jeans and a pair of Christian Louboutins and a little jacket and a white shirt. I get sent about 15 designer bags a month. I can only imagine how much they cost. Even I wouldn't buy some of them." — Beyoncé. [Mirror]
• Speaking of age, you turn 49 next week. You're famously candid about aging, especially for an actress. "They did tell me to shut up a long time ago: 'You mustn't say you're 35, say you're 30.' I thought, 'This is ridiculous! Why should I?' In English and American cinema, people my age are immediately categorized into either campy, kind of clowny middle-aged women making them appear much older than they really do look or you're playing someone's grandmother. In Europe, we have this fantastic tradition of really enjoying women over 40, of that not being a taboo at all - people like Catherine Deneuve. Look at [Pedro] Almodóvar, the way he films women with such care and affection. The filmmakers here just love women who've been around a bit longer, they make those wrinkles look beautiful. In English or American films, they just want you to be old and shut up." — Kristin Scott Thomas. [NY Daily News]

• Madonna and Jesus Luz are reportedly planning a "commitment ceremony" in front of a rabbi at the Kabbalah Center in New York. Oooh, and a source says:

"Lourdes mocks him by calling him The Babysitter, because he is so young. She likes him, but also likes winding him up." Hee hee, "get off the babysitter!" [Mirror]

• Robin Wright Penn talked to Gotham magazine for the June issue — obviously before Sean filed for divorce — and said: marriage is "real work, but that's what you sign up for. And it pays off beautifully, it really does. The outcome, the reward is so great because then your love grows out of those hard times." Now Sean Penn is allegedly seeing Natalie Portman. So. [Page Six]
• Oprah! At Duke! Doing a commencement speech! And getting an honorary degree! She told students to "stand proudly in your own shoes while you help others stand in theirs." And! "One of the best ways to enhance your own life is to enhance somebody else's." [Breitbart]
• Oprah sent a film crew over to Blackburn, Scotland, to Susan Boyle's house. In the interview, which will be broadcast today, Boyle says: "I am not lonely. Everyone has been so nice. I've got millions of new friends now." [Telegraph]
• Paris Hilton spent a romantic week in Anguilla with boyfriend Doug Reinhardt, and updated her Twitter page constantly, with messages like "Love being in Love :) Best feeling in the world" and "Playing some golf together :) Golfing is fun" and "Loving life with my love" and "Lovers in paradise" and "My smooches from a secret island." Lots of pix of her kissing the dude, too. [Daily Mail]
• Christian Bale's part in Terminator Salvation was originally much smaller; the film's main character is not actually John Conner, played by Bale, but Marcus Wright, played by Sam Worthington. Director McG said the script had to be adjusted to "integrate" Bale more. [Hollywood Reporter]
• When Jennifer Lopez's daughter Emme was about three weeks old, she discovered a lump on the child's head. "We both got very nervous, very very nervous, and I just remember my heart sinking to my feet," Lopez says. "I looked at [Marc] and I said, 'You know if anything happens, I'm not going to be okay, you know that right?'" Emme was fine but Lopez was inspired to work with Childrens Hospital Los Angeles to help medical services to the less fortunate. "I started to wonder," Lopez said, "what if I couldn't afford a doctor, or receive the medicines, the procedures?" [Yahoo News via E!]
• Who were the stars at the White House Correspondents Dinner? Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, Eva Longoria Parker, Owen Wilson, Donatella Versace, Stevie Wonder, Alicia Keys, Kerry Washington, Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick, Kenneth Cole, Jason Wu and "a smattering of mayors, diplomats and ambassadors." Donatella went in 2008 and says ths year "was much better." Then she told everyone to "get ooooout." [WWD]
• More from the WHCD! Rahm Emanuel seated next to Barbara Walters! Jon Hamm was there! Donatella Versace was hanging out with Jonathan Rhys Meyers! Political pundit Craig Crawford asked Jason Bateman a question! Ludacris had a "long talk" with Bill O'Reilly! [Politico]
• According to this report, at the WHCD, "No matter who's in the room, the Obamas outshine all challengers." [MSNBC]
• Noted political junkie Ben Affleck missed the WHCD! He was sick. [mediabistro.com]
• New York Mag: How did you deal with everyone in the room eating steak?
  Kate Hudson: Oh, I ate it.
  Stella McCartney: If you just give up meat one day a week, it has, like, the biggest impact environmentally.
  Kate: Well, I'm interested in change.
  Stella: You can do that! Unless you're like some kind of caveman carnivore...Or are you a cavewoman?
  Kate: Uh, me? I don't eat meat every day! Are you out of your mind? I'd have a heart attack!
  Stella: Jolly. So she's fine. She's good. [NY Mag]
• Re: Rihanna nude pix: This paper points out that she has many tattoos, none of which are see in the images purported to be her. [NY Daily News]
• Chris Brown says he didn't leak the Rihanna pix. [The Sun]
• All that cardio pays off between the sheets! A stripper says Michael Phelps "should get another Olympic gold for marathon love-making!" because "the sex lasted for about three hours." [NY Post]
• Miss California Carrie Prejean's lawyer sent a cease and desist letter to the website hosting her underwear pix saying she was underage and that one shot is a Photoshop manipulation; the site has responded: "Your client's publicity rights are substantially inferior to the right of the public to consider, discuss, agree and/or disagree with Ms. Prejean's actions and views. This is not conduct for which your client's consent is required." Oh snap. [TMZ]
• By the by, Carrie Prejean has recorded a phone message for National Organization for Marriage, asking people to donate money and sign a petition against gay marriage. [TMZ]
• And! Those "topless" pix? Taken well-after Carrie Prejean turned 18, not when she was 17, as she claims. [TMZ]
• Amy Winehouse had a crappy performance at the St. Lucia Jazz Festival, but the tourism minister says: "It's a shame it did not go better but we will bring her back in the future. We fully support her and hope she can get well. We have a lot of admiration for her." [The Sun]
• Swine flu be damned! Hugh Jackman will head to Mexico to promote Wolverine. [Mirror]
• Quentin Tarantino talks Inglourious Basterds, 70% of which is in French or German. "When you see the Germans speaking English with a German accent or sounding like British thespians, it just seems very quaint," he says. "That's one thing I don't want this film to have." Execs at the studio are not worried about the heavy use of subtitles: "Tarantino is a universal language," said one. [NY Times]
• Rachel McAdams has an environmental website, green is sexy, and says: "It's funny because when people come to my house they think everything is broken because I don't have anything plugged in. Guests are always saying things like: 'You need a new light bulb here' and I go around to the lamp and say: 'You've got to just plug it in!"' [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "WARNING: This may hurt your eyes... Beth Ditto strips down to her Spanx." Eh, fuck you, Daily Fail. [Daily Mail]
• Kim Kardashian is getting married! Eventually. "So many people rush into it and it's all this pressure because they see we've been together for a while," she says of beau Reggie Bush, whom she has been dating since 2007. "But, we're heading there. When we're ready, we'll know." [People]
• Boy George has been released from jail — early — and lost a few pounds during the four months he was in the slammer. [Daily Mail]
• This report says Paul McCartney and Nancy Shevell are secretly engaged but don't want to make a formal announcement lest Heather Mills make some kind of scene; McCartney's rep is quoted about the rumor, saying, "There is no truth in it whatsoever. They have not become engaged in any shape or form. It is utter nonsense." [Daily Express]
• Jerry Hall was writing an autobiography — being called an "explosive, tell-all account" of her life with Mick Jagger — but the book has been abandoned. Apparently the publishers were "disappointed" with the lack of Jagger dirt. In JERRY'S autobiography. There was, however, a lot of gossip about Carla Bruni… [Daily Mail]
• Bjork sang with the Dirty Projectors at "her smallest gig of the year" Friday night in a bookstore in NYC, in front of 300 people. [NY Times]
• "Serial dater Geri Halliwell's relationship gets serious as she meets aristocrat lover's parents." [Daily Mail]
• Nineteen year old JoJo Simmons, son of Rev Run Simmons of Run-DMC, was caught rolling a joint in his BMW and has been arrested and charged with a bunch of stuff. [UPI]
• Awww, on Mother's Day, Florence Henderson, aka Carol Brady, says, "I get mail from all over the world, 122 countries." [UPI]
• Shirley Jones, 75, who was the mom on The Partridge Family, may pose nude for Playboy. Her husband/manager says, "Mature women are relevant." [Page Six]
• Is Kylie Minogue gonna get hitched to her hot hot Spanish boyfriend? [Daily Mail]
• Nia Vardalos talks about becoming a mom of a toddler — overnight. She adopted a 3-year-old from a foster family agency and says her daughter "arrived without an instruction manual. I didn't know if she had a sleep schedule, food allergies – there wasn't even a note pinned to her shirt. She just walked in and looked up at me, like "got lunch?" [People]
• Barbra Streisand's personal assistant: Busted on drug charges in Malibu on Wednesday. Cops found cocaine, methamphetamines and a weapon in her car. Sometimes people who help people who need people need a bump. [LA Times]
• Label exec Irv Gotti says he is dropping Ashanti from The Inc. They haven't been on speaking terms for some time; in 2007 Gotti told Wendy Williams he and Ashanti had sex even though he was a married man. [MTV]
• Jane's Addiction frontman Perry Farrell tore his calf muscle during the first song in a concert in Atlanta. He finished the show and then took an ambulance to the hospital; doctors are telling him to stay off the leg for a few days. [AP]
• If you have £500,000, you can buy David Beckham's "modest" childhood home in east London. [BBC News]
• Blind item! "Which married TV actor used the Correspondents Dinner as an excuse to meet up with his occasional mistress?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I wasn't familiar with rugby league beforehand and I don't profess to be an expert now. But everything I do know about rugby league, I know from Russell Crowe." — Rachel McAdams, who became friends with the Aussie while shooting State Of Play and even watched a game with him via satellite at three in the morning. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I wanted audiences to think, ‘This guy could easily rip someone's head off', so I worked hard to achieve that physique. I ran and had to lift very heavy weights. Every morning I'd get up and there was a part of me that just wanted to collapse, but you just have to keep going, it's full-on testosterone. When I'm training, I'm fairly obnoxious, I really make a big thing of it and there is a lot of noise. I play driving music like Metallica that I would never otherwise listen to. I consulted a bodybuilder and what I realized is that how you look is 30% how you train and 70% how you eat. No carbs after lunch. Six to eight chicken breasts a day, two at each sitting, 4,000 calories in total. I really enjoyed eating pizza at the end of the movie, trust me, and I had half a dozen beers on the final day of shooting." — Hugh Jackman, on achieving the look of Wolverine. [Mirror]
• "I knew I had to build a body, and I ate a lot of wheat and chain-smoked. That will do it! The woman had to feel like she really had been drinking for 25 years. Now, I have not been drinking for 25 years. I'm a relatively healthy individual, so the first thing I had to do was make myself look like I was super-wrecked, which took a bit of time." — Tilda Switon, on playing a "ferociously dedicated alcoholic" in Julia. [USA Today]
• "I see Amelia as that fast-talking, Katharine Hepburn type of woman. She's powerful and authoritative with some chutzpah. I am much more cautious, I don't take as many physical risks as her. I see her as a woman who's ahead of her time but also having fun, embracing that sense of adventure; it's about believing in yourself and your passions and making the most of the time that you have in life." — Amy Adams, on playing Amelia Earhart in Night A The Museum 2. [Daily Mail]
• "Jack is gun crazy. Over here you can buy real guns. I have this horrible thing: I can see this movie in my head where he's messing around and shoots himself in the foot. Sharon goes to me, ‘Oh darling, he's been surrounded by guns all his life.' But there is a difference between an air rifle and a 45-calibre pistol. I said to Jack, ‘If someone got into your house would you be willing to use the gun?' He said, ‘Sure.'" — Ozzy Osbourne. [Daily Express]
• "We visited Panzi Hospital where IMC is training doctors and which has become world-renowned because of its incredible work with thousands of women who are in need of surgical repair for a condition called 'fistula,' a severe gynecologic rupture. It's a frighteningly common condition in eastern DRC because of lack of obstetric care, and the epidemic of rape. Panzi Hospital's Founder and Director is Dr. Denis Mukwege, often referred to as "the savior of women " and was named by a prestigious Nigerian newspaper as African of the Year in 2008. He shared some of his experiences with us and as you can imagine, they are horrific. The youngest rape victim he has had to treat was a three year old girl." — Sienna Miller, who is in the Congo, working with International Medical Corps. [Huffington Post]

[Image by Steven Klein via W Magazine]

• Suck on this: Madonna will be involved in New Moon, the Twilight sequel. Her Madgesty will not only be in the film, but supply music for the soundtrack. Brain exploding, brb. [ONTD via E!]

• Hayden Panettiere, 19, and Milo Ventimiglia, 31, are over. Done. Apparently "Hayden tried to break up with Milo many times since Christmas, but he wouldn't accept it." She wants to be free; he wants to settle down. [Star]
• Lily Allen and Perez Hilton are in a "Twitter catfight." He wrote: "If I wanted to be a fucked-up Brit, I'd rather be Amy Winehouse – whose[sic] got talent." She fired back: "God, you're like so obsessed with me its embarrassing." He sniped about her album being discounted; she called him a little parasite. Isn't the internet fun? [Telegraph]
• A charity set up by Prince Harry is accused of promising £30,000 to the children of poverty-stricken Lesotho, only to have the money fail to materialize. [Telegraph]
• Prince Harry also flew a training aircraft yesterday, despite failing his exams last week. [Daily Mail]
• David Beckham "finally got" wife Victoria to agree to move to Milan. Ciao, off you go! [The Sun]
• Chris Brown has hired Paris Hilton's spin doctor, Mike Sitrick. But Fox News's Roger Friedman says Sitrick is "universally disliked by the press" and that Chris is "clueless." [Fox 411]
• Julia Roberts looks beachy keen on the March cover of Allure and says she'd like to have dinner with the Obamas. "The girls can play with my kids." She also says: "I think it should be against the law to take a picture of a celebrity's child." [MSNBC Scoop]
• More from Julia in Allure, talking about her kids: "I will never be bored again… [I have] little time theives running around [the] house." And her life: "I'm the luckiest girl in town, I really am." Yawn! [People]
• Halle Berry will star in a flick called Who Is Doris Payne, about an international jewel thief whose career spanned five decades. Rejoice: Neither a hooker, a victim nor a doormat! [Variety]
• Drew Barrymore has a crush on Christian Bale. Back of the line, dear. [Mirror]
• Slumdog Millionaire's Freida Pinto wants a meaty, "ugly" role: "I don't want to be known as just a pretty face. I loved Charlize Theron in Monster. I want to play parts that are challenging and inspiring." Good luck! [Mirror]
• Peaches Geldof made the paper for wearing fishnet thigh-highs with garters. Slow news day? [The Sun]
• Wowza, check out Emily Blunt in this tribute to Blue Velvet. Lynchy! [BlackBook]
• Anne Hathaway, Anne Archer, Charlize Theron, Kerry Washington, Camryn Manheim, Jessica Alba, Maria Bello, Rosario Dawson and others were on hand for V-Day, a global movement to end violence against women, hosted by feminist playwright Eve Ensler and Glamour. [WWD]
• Grace Jones arrived so late for the African Fashion Collection bash the other night, the party was already over. [Page Six]
• Becki Newton, Ugly Betty's Amanda, swears the show is not cancelled: "We don't know what's going to be happening with the time slot, but we're well into season three, and we just got picked up for season four. There was panic for no reason." [Gatecrasher]
• Jackie Chan is starring in a new flick so violent that it's not being released in mainland China. Of course, that makes us want to see it. Okay, just saw a trailer and it looks epic. [AP]
• There's ultra-violence in Quentin Tarantino's new film, Inglourious Basterds; Nazis get scalped, hit by bats and machine-gunned down. [Page Six]
• PR queen Kelly Cutrone (seen on The Hills and The City) is friends with Eliot Spitzer's ex-hooker, Ashley Dupre. Cutrone says: "I met Ashley through friends in the music industry, I liked her and decided I would be nice to her. I will continue to be nice to her." [Page Six]
• Steven Van Zandt of The Sopranos and the E street band has a radio show, Little Steven's Underground Garage. [Guardian]
• Amy Fisher is a stripper now. "I am going to take this road until my fans tell me, 'Dear, please put your clothes back on. You're too old.'" [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which crazy comic tells everyone about his, ummm, taste for booty whenever he's trashed? Talk about TMI!" [Gatecrasher]
• "A lot of people are scared of him, not just because of his position, but because of his temper. I don't think he ever had the time for 'la dolce vita.' I showed him how." —Carla Bruni on husband Nicolas Sarkozy. [Daily Mail]
• "Do I look like I care? I really don't think about [Joop or what he said]. What am I supposed to say? It's his opinion. What do you think?" — Heidi Klum, on being called "too heavy" to be a runway model. [Gatecrasher]
• "The character is learning lessons about consumption and debt like the rest of us right now. It feels fairly topical. Obviously the movie was conceived during a different economic period but she learns her lesson. It is a redemption story." — Isla Fisher, defending the timing of her Shopaholic picture. [Mirror]
• "She was the greatest show on earth last year. She was going through her issues in public... It was great to watch her spin out of control because it makes the average person feel better." — 50 Cent on Britney Spears, who helped inspire his album Before I Self Destruct. [MSNBC, Mirror]
• "I'm a sentimental person who's trying very hard to be a tough cynical person. This show has been more than a job for me; I met my wife on a remote, and we have two kids. I got my dog through this show. This has been a huge central part of my life. I'm quite good at denial, so I've been keeping it at bay. There's not time to dwell. (But) when we're doing the last show, it'll hit me. I'll probably cry like a baby." — Conan O'Brien on leaving Late Night for Tonight. [USA Today]
• "That was the least of our problems. I was always really proud of her success. I'm not a competitive person, and I have no aspirations to be a giant in this industry. I like making movies, but I never had designs on making $25 million a picture." — Ryan Phillippe, denying that he was ever jealous of wife Reese Witherspoon's success. [Contact Music]
• "I can't say that I'm still pole dancing. It's hard! I understand the hazards of the exotic dancer in a way I never imagined." — Marisa Tomei, on the skills she learned for The Wrestler. [Mirror]
• "I had to run and scream while wearing it! But it helps your posture, and certainly makes your boobs look fantastic. My internal organs now loathe me, however, so it might be good to do something in jeans and T-shirts. After all, I don't want to be typecast as the 'English rose' -that's boring, isn't it?" — Emily Blunt on wearing a corset in Wolf Man. [BlackBook]
• "Chris Brown's lies and excuses make me want to beat the crap out of him... He uses the language of the perpetrator just like every sleazy bastard who ever smacked his wife, kid, mother or girlfriend around uses. You dirty bastard, I hope you go to prison for ten years. IT'S YOUR FAULT, ASSHOLE! As for all the mealy mouthed Hollywood and music scene chicks that can't bring themselves to condemn a misogynistic bully, let me say this: Your time as whores for propaganda is ending, bitches." — Roseanne Barr. [ONTD]
• "I've been at war, without a doubt. I've really experienced the judgment of women in the past year. We say we want to be equal, but men don't sit around bitching at each other. There's no sisterhood." — Sienna Miller. [Mirror]