• Courtney Love is making vicious accusations via Facebook, and both Edward Norton and Britney Spears are involved.

In one message, Courtney writes (and consider there to be a giant [sic] after everything):

IF something happens to me, NO my will is NOT at Greenberg Glusker, that will is FORGERY…i created a new one per lISA FERGUSONs attorney who cannot be FOUND but that needs altering as it has Edward in it and Norton doesn't have a CLUE how evil his own BM is he wont fuck a future Senator/Film Actor … i m shcoked at myself i never kiss and tell unless im really mad at an ex for like LOSING 300,000$ of my kid hes supposed to be paternal abouts money, oh yeah Norton just LOST 300k

As for Britney, Courtney says:

britneys dad molested her , imagine the father that molested you owning you for slavery while your forced to sing songs picked for thier sexual content every night, insane right? i have it on First had authority, and fight as hard as she is and does she still didnt pull that card, its a pride thing i can relate to, However they want to play dirty, lets go, Im SO not affraid of the little trolls who hit this when i was fucked up who are called lawyers. lets GO.

Um… yeah. Shit. Speechless. [Movieline]

• In other news, Courtney Love to her band to a strip club and left them there. [Page Six]
• We've heard Britney Spears wants to get married again, but have we heard this? A source says: "She is in love with the idea of marriage. She has been married only twice, but has proposed to many more." [MSNBC via News.com.au]
• The White House state dinner was star-studded! In attendance: Producers David Geffen and Jeffrey Katzenberg, directors Steven Spielberg and M. Night Shyamalan, actor Blair Underwood and actress Alfre Woodward. Plus: Deepak Chopra and journalists Sanjay Gupta, Katie Couric, Fareed Zakaria, Robin Roberts and Brian Williams. And Jennifer Hudson performed! My last dinner party involved plastic cups and white zinfandel. [UPI]
• If something is really good, Rihanna calls it "barf." "Usually it's ‘ill' or ‘I want to throw up on it," she says. "But barf is the worst," meaning the best. "Barf is 10 out of 10." [NY Times]
• Damn: Rihanna is getting paid $500,000 to to perform at a New Year's Eve party at the Emirates Palace Hotel in Abu Dhabi. Can she wear that white Fifth Element bandage jumpsuit in the UAE? [Page Six]
• Things are heating up between Emma Watson and her Spanish rock star. [Telegraph]
• Usher is dating a record exec — named Grace Miguel — who used to work at the label he's signed to. And, shocker! Grace and Usher's mom, Jonetta, do not get along. Sound familiar? The same thing happened with Usher's wife, Tameka Foster. [Gatecrasher]
• Here's a happy Thanksgiving: Ellen DeGeneres gave an out-of-work mom from the Bronx $10,000 and a new car. [NY Daily News]
• Donny Osmond won Dancing With The Stars. Then there was a fire on the set. [People]
• DWTS judge Carrie Ann Inaba is having surgery: "I have arthritis. The space around my spinal cord has become compressed," Inaba explains. "I have been locked. My neck was so stiff. We're hoping this procedure will relieve that." [People]
• The pyramid design of Lady Gaga's Heartbeats headphones was inspired by her fashion choices when growing up: "I wore studded leather jackets, me and my friends in New York. Lifestyle, grit, passion and love for music, freedom. These were the things I thought about when we were designing [the headphones]." [People]
• Beyoncé just finished her tour, and told the crowd at her last stop — in Nottingham, England — that she hopes to see them all in a year with a new album. Work work work! [Reuters]
• Jennifer Lopez's ex-husband, Ojani Noa, admits he's tried to sell footage of himself and La Lopez from their time together, but it's not sleazy: "They think I have a sex tape with her and that I'm trying to sell it. My tape is from our honeymoon, the wedding, us hanging out. There's no nudity-maybe one spanking. There's moments of her fighting with her mom...couples having fun and kissing. If someone has a sex tape, it's not me." [E!]
• Congrats to Alan Cumming, who was made an Office of the British Empire at Buckingham Palace on Tuesday. The Scottish-born actor and gay rights advocate reportedly dressed in tartan head-to-toe for the occasion. Must find pix! [UPI]
• American Idol season 3 contestant Jon Peter Lewis (who?) has issues with Adam Lambert's AMA performance: "All this nonsense about Adam Lambert's whole project being art is bogus. That idea is absurd. It's like calling Thomas Kinkade art. What a sham." [Us Magazine]
• Melissa Etheridge has advice for Adam Lambert: "Don't believe everything they say. Stay true to yourself. The only person who can answer what you should do is  yourself. Love yourself. You will hear as many people praise you as you will hear them tear you down." [E!]
• Rosie O'Donnell was asked if she's enjoying the single life. She replied: "I'm not." [NY Daily News]
• Would you like to see a picture of the Real Housewives Of NYC frolicking in the Virgin Islands? [NY Post]
• "A million fans are being invited to take part in the composition of a pointillist portrait of the late U.S. pop icon Michael Jackson… The project has the blessing of Jackson's brother, Jermaine." [UPI]
• The Official Michael Jackson Opus book is 26 lbs., 400 pages and $249. [The Life Files]
• Julie Andrews will play London's O2 arena, and the venerable Clive Davis writes: "Whether or not Andrews's voice is the flawless multi-octave instrument that it once was, she has always been a consummate professional… Besides, legends are in short supply at the moment." [The Times Of London]
• Transformers director Michael Bay hosted a reunion of the show's cast and crew the other night in NYC, and Megan Fox did not attend. [Page Six]
• Amber Rose asked a stranger in a bathroom to zip up the back of her dress for her, saying: . "I have a hard time staying in this thing, but Kanye loves it." [Page Six]
• The new Miss California, Nicole Johnson, says she once dated Michael Phelps. And! Phelps may have dated Carrie Prejean as well. [TMZ]
• "A nude photo of film director Roman Polanski, who is now being held in a Swiss prison, and his wife Sharon Tate taken shortly before she was brutally murdered, will be sold at an upcoming auction where it could fetch more than $10,000, organizers said." [Reuters]
• Avril Lavigne was seen "passionately making out with a mystery man" in NYC Tuesday night. She was seen with Wilmer Valderrama over the weekend… Maybe divorce makes you horny? [Radar Online]
• The Pussycat Dolls have broken up and no one is speaking to Nicole Scherzinger, if you care. [Page Six]
• "Nellie McKay has three loves - animals, the Poconos, and Doris Day." [Philadelphia Inquirer]
• "Cagefighter's mummy: Nasty Jordan has been horrid to my little Alex." [The Sun]
• "She's a remarkable story… But you're on air every day. Eventually you think, 'do people really want to hear me talk anymore?'" — Phil Donahue, on Oprah ending her show. [Page Six]
• "Wait … is that Zac Posen? Wow." — Zac Efron. [Gatecrasher]
• Ten years ago I wouldn't have thought about having any children at all. [But do I want some?] Yes, yes, yes. I haven't given up hope. I find I'm not as bad with children as I used to be. I see a lot of children are over-parented now, over-adored and over-spoiled. I quite like children to be left alone to get on with it." — Hugh Grant. [Daily Express]
• "I think a show like this probably couldn't have happened five years ago, but I think with the success of American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance and other movie musicals, like Hairspray, Chicago and Nine that's coming up, they set the groundwork for people to accept it and being excited about it. I think we're putting a different twist on it to make it fun and interesting and kind of cool." — Glee's Matthew Morrison. [CNN]
• "You know that devil on your shoulder that tells you terrible things about people and of course you'd never say 'maybe you don't really believe.' She has no filter, and it just comes right out. So I'm a nice person after I leave Glee because I get to exercise the heinous behavior while I'm in a track suit yelling at defenseless children." — Jane Lynch. [CNN]
• "As traumatic and as terrifying as it was — and sometimes I wish it never happened — my whole life changed in the most amazing way after I went through that. If I didn't go through that, I swear, you would've been interviewing a completely different person." — Rihanna, on being assaulted by Chris Brown. [NY Times]
• "Everyone wanted me to see a therapist to just talk about it, and I refused. In Barbados we don't do that. We keep it in our family, and figure it out and move on. I just put my game face on and went on with my life. But deep down inside I had some things to get past, and it came out in the music." — Rihanna. [NY Times]

• Well here's one we haven't heard before: A source claims that Macaulay Culkin is Blanket Jackson's father. [The Sun]
• Also: Prince Michael Malachi Jet Jackson, 24, claims Michael Jackson is his dad. [TMZ]

• Uh-oh: Heidi Montag wants a baby. Heidi's sister-in-law, Stephanie Pratt, says: "Heidi is the one with the baby fever; Spencer is not. Basically, Heidi got married; [then] she's like, 'Oh my God, what do I do?' I really feel like she went to a bookstore and saw Newlyweds: The Wife's Edition, and so now she's like, 'I still want to get a house with a white picket fence... and then probably a dog, and then we'll move on to kids. And I want to take cooking lessons.'" So surely it's just a matter of time. What shall we do to prepare ourselves for the spawn of Speidi?!?!? [NY Daily News]
• Spencer was seen passing out Playboys with Heidi on the cover to the entire first-class section of a flight from the Bahamas to LAX. No word on whether he said: Take my wife, please. [Page Six]
• Law enforcement sources are saying DJ AM's death was not a suicide. The recovering addict developed a dependency to to Xanax and other benzodiazepines (anti-anxiety drugs) as a direct result of the plane crash he survived. He had developed a high anxiety over flying, but it was something he had to do for work. This relapse was recent, and his death was most likely a consequence of the combination of cocaine and benzodiazepines. [TMZ]
• Dr. Drew blames pain medication for DJ AM's relapse: "It very slowly and subtly reawakens addiction. I'm not saying it was inappropriately prescribed, I'm saying he didn't know the risks." [NY Post]
• Madonna is in Israel, where she visited the Old City in Jerusalem, and toured an ancient tunnel near the Western Wall - the holiest site where Jews can pray. [AP]
• I don't know whether to laugh or to cry: Medics have had to treat Twihards who visit the set of New Moon and freak out over the Sparkle Vamp or the Buff Werewolf. Taylor Lautner says: We've met many different fans: the criers, who come around quite often; the hyperventilators, who stop breathing and have to have a medic come. We've definitely seen some passion." [Daily Express]
• While Jon Gosselin was busy posing it up in Vegas, Kate Gosselin had her own pool party — with bodyguard and rumored beau, Steve Neild. And his family. He arrived with his wife, kids, and teenaged sons and all the kids went swimming and everything was fun and everything is fine. [E!]
• By the way: Jon Gosselin was heckled at his own damn pool party. Guys mocked his bald spot, his weight and his clothes. [Radar Online]
• Jon Gosselin did a sit-down interview with GMA's Chris Cuomo and said something like he's worried the show is "exploiting" his eight children. No, wait, he says: "I'm not saying TLC is exploiting my children. But I do believe the media and tabloids covering my family and the show for their own financial gain are the ones exploiting them. I have said on numerous occasions TLC has afforded my kids a better life and has helped provide a better roof on their heads." [E!]
• Whitney Houston hasn't released an album in six years, but her "comeback" is very controlled. Her interview with Diane Sawyer will not be live; neither will her interview with Oprah. And when she does a Good Morning America performance, it will be taped, not live. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Lily Allen needs an Orgasmaton, STAT. [The Sun]
• Here's an iffy story about the Beckham marriage being torn apart because "While David is keen to play football in Europe, ambitious Victoria is set on remaining in LA." [Daily Mail]
• In these pictures from February, Chris Brown is seen tagging a wall — spray painting his nickname, Breezy. Now graffiti removal will be one of the things he is expected to do as part of his 1400 hours of community service. [Daily Mail]
• Elisabeth Moss spills spoilery Mad Men secrets! "It is so important to [creator] Matt [Weiner], and to the way the story is told, that things remain secret if possible. But I can say that [this season] Peggy starts becoming more of Don's protege and moves up in that world. She goes down paths that are wrong for her, but she is just trying to figure out what it means to be in her position in that man's world. I don't honestly know if she is going to figure it out. Does she have to be like Don, or can she be her own person?" [Reuters]
• Ouch: Miranda Kerr was walking the red carpet at the launch of Victoria's Secret's Heavenly Enchanted fragrance when Melissa (Dancing With the Stars) Rycroft accidentally sprayed her in the eyes and momentarily blinded her. [Page Six]
• "Cate Blanchett and Liv Ullmann have long wanted to collaborate. Now Tennessee Williams has brought them together on the Sydney stage." [Sydney Morning Herald]
• When Chris Noth DJs, you're gonna hear '80s hits from KISS and Prince. [Page Six]
• Highly recommended: outtakes from an interview with Amber Tamblyn, in which she says lots of awesome stuff, like, "I have a poem in my new book of poetry out in September called Bang Ditto about Twitter and the poem is 140 characters about how Twitter can suck it." She also says: "People always ask me why I'm so level-headed and normal and don't lash out like all these other young celebrities and go crazy. Well, I went crazy. I just didn't get caught." [Parade]
• Speaking of Amber Tamblyn, her boyfriend David Cross says he's got no news on The Arrested Development movie. But he's looking forward to it: "Just finding out what the characters are up to. Obviously I miss the camaraderie and having fun, but more than anything, my curiosity is like, 'Oh, what are those guys are doing?'" [Time]
• Will Arnett might be the one holding up the Arrested Development movie. [Gatecrasher]
• Real Housewife Bethenny Frankel is talking crap about Jill Zarin: "Why would Jill be hanging with Jon Gosselin and Michael Lohan? That was like an episode of 'The Surreal Life.' It is utterly embarrassing. I mean, honestly, Urkel should have come - and if Gary Coleman showed up, it would have been perfect." [Gatecrasher]
• Joan Rivers claims she almost rented her apartment to Libyan leader Moammar Khadafy: "The Libyan ambassador called my [broker] and offered over $200,000 a week so he could use it for entertaining… I thought it was great. I said I would give half the rent to Lockerbie." [Page Six]
• Jane Lynch — the funny lady from The 40 Year Old Virgin, Best in Show and Weeds, is described as a scene-stealer in the TV show Glee. "I think 'scene stealer' is a compliment, or at least I take it as one," she says. "I certainly don't try to take attention from anyone else, I just do the best job I can with the material." [Newsweek]
• "Oasis split because Noel Gallagher forgave brother Liam for jokingly suggesting he was not the real dad of daughter Anais." [News Of The World]
• Liam Gallagher has gone to Lake Como now that Oasis has broken up. [Mirror]
• Are the Pussycat Dolls dunzo? The group is taking a "long break" and the members are each concentrating on their "own projects." [Mirror]
• Word is that Shelley Duvall (The Shining, Popeye, Casper Meets Wendy) spends her nights in Blanco, Texas patrolling her yard, convinced her home is a portal for aliens. She went to a local hardware store and asked for dirt to block up a hole in her backyard, because that's where the aliens were coming in. Poor thing. [ONTD]
• Sir Sean Connery has won "Worst Movie Accent Of All Time," for playing an Irish-American cop in The Untouchables with his Scottish brogue. [Mirror]
• What the world needs now: Another Rambo movie. Yes, of course Sylvester Stallone is starring and directing. [Variety]
• "A police force is to review the death of Rolling Stones guitarist Brian Jones, 40 years since he was found lifeless in a swimming pool." [Mirror]
• "They do love each other, but they've always been very different. The funny thing is, they didn't fight as children. They didn't fight until they started the band. I hope this isn't the end of Oasis. I don't think it is. They're just tired at the end of the tour. They've had fights before and got over it." — Peggy Gallagher, on son Noel Gallagher quitting Oasis right before the band was supposed to headline a rock festival in Paris. Right before the split, Liam allegedly smashed a guitar and said to Noel: "You're no brother of mine!" [Mirror]
• "It's now like we have become spirits on the Internet. The time sense and the physical-location sense is lost. And of course the visual looks are lost, too." — Yoko Ono. [Newsweek]
• "This show is mad Brooklynish." Olivia Thirlby, on Bored To Death, the new HBO series starring Jason Schwartzman. [The New Yorker]
• "I start the day reading my political blogs. The Daily Beast. The Huffington Post. Daily Kos. But what annoys me is when celebrities all get on a bandwagon and support a t-shirt company that prints slogans about voting instead of getting involved with specific things they really care about and can nurture. So I try not to be another name on a list. I'm active in things like Planned Parenthood. I'm a poet and writer as well as an actress, and I think that is a kind of politics when I write about body image and the experiences of young people in Hollywood. I've always written stuff like that. It's kept me 94% sane because it's an outlet that a lot of actresses don't get to talk about." — Amber Tamblyn. [Parade]
• "I've said that I was an only child for many years, and I realize now it was a mistake saying it… But when I was about 7, a young woman came to our door and told my dad she was his daughter. And she was. She was from a fling he had in the '60s. Her name is China, and she's an artist and a welder. We've become close." — Amber Tamblyn. [Parade]
• "It is one of the toughest things I've ever done in my life. My entire body hurts. My muscle, my bone, everything." — Mila Kunis, on spending four hours a day, seven days a week in dance classes for Black Swan, in which she and Natalie Portman play rival ballerinas. [WWD]

• Tyra Banks will be in court this week; she's expected to testify in the trial of her alleged stalker, Brady Green.

How weird will it be to be face-to-face with the guy? Oh, and get this: Green's lawyer's argument is that Tyra is to blame. "She invites fans that are inspired by her show to reach out to her," defense lawyer Sydney O'Hagen said in opening arguments at Green's trial. "Mr. Green was a fan, albeit perhaps an overzealous fan." Green allegedly sent flowers and love letters to Tyra, and then when an employee of her talk show refused to give him the address of the studio over the phone, Green said: "You're fucking lying, I'm going to find you and slit your throat." [NY Daily News, NY Post, AP]

• Casey Aldridge, the father of Jamie Lynn Spears' baby, was injured in a car accident yesterday; he was taken to the hospital with non-life threatening injuries. [Breitbart]
• This report claims that Casey Aldridge has a "cracked skull." [NY Post]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's wedding had a "spring feeling," meaning the colors were green and yellow and people drank margaritas while eating appetizers like tuna tartare and chicken salad. No one noticed the glowering specter in the corner, the one named "In The Grand Scheme These People Are Irrelevant." [People]
• Miss California, Carrie Prejean, received a "hero's welcome" when appearing at a San Diego megachurch. "'You need to apologize to the gay community. You need to not talk about your faith. This has everything to do with you representing California and saving the brand,'" Prejean recalled being told. "I was representing California. I was representing the majority of people in California." She also said: "I learned that God has a bigger crown than any man can give you." [AP]
• Clearcast, a TV company in the UK, wants to cut scenes from Keira Knightley's domestic violence ad before it is broadcast; specifically, the scenes where the actress is being thrown to the ground and kicked — the organization believes it is too violent. [Telegraph]
• The Sanskrit tattoo on Rihanna's hip is misspelled, but the tattoo artist says she wouldn't care: "It's copied off of a necklace that she got from somebody important to her," he explains. [UPI]
• Actress Vanessa A. Williams — not to be confused with Ugly Betty's Vanessa L. Williams — is using Rihanna's name on an invitation to a violence-prevention event. Rihanna is not involved with the organization, but the copy reads: "On February 8th, when famed singer Rihanna was allegedly beaten by her boyfriend, she was not alone." [Page Six]
• Susan Boyle auditioned for a TV show 14 years ago, and was rejected. [Daily Mail]
• Guy Ritchie has purchased a house 200 yards from Madonna's London mansion, putting him "as close as possible" to the kids. In addition, a source says Guy laughed when he found out that her Madgesty's new man, Jesus Luz, speaks very little English, saying: "Blimey, no wonder the whole thing works so perfectly." [The Sun]
• Is Jesus Luz only getting modeling jobs because of his relationship with Madonna? [Page Six]
• This paper claims Amy Winehouse is being called the "Pied Piper Of St. Lucia," since she loves hanging out with kids. But you get the feeling that the only person calling her that is whomever wrote this story. [The Sun]
• Henry Ian Cusick, aka Desmond on Lost, is being sued by a former ABC Entertainment employee for sexual harassment. He's been married for 3 years after being with his wife for 14 years and the couple has 3 sons. [Daily Mail]
• Apparently two high school guys saw Kate Winslet in her workout gear and commented on her "big hot booty." [Page Six]
• "Every Friday that he's shooting a movie, Hugh Jackman comes to work with a bag full of lottery tickets. He gives them to everyone who works on his movies: co-stars, camera crews, set hands, the people who cater the food. He doesn't play." [USA Today]
• Miley Cyrus says that she and Nick Jonas are just friends and not back together — if you heard that he is her boyfriend it is just a "stupidddd rumor." She Twittered: "It makes me sad to think that people out there aren't friends with THEIR ex bf, because let me tell u it IS possible." [People]
• Jennifer Hudson performed a concert in her hometown of Chicago — her first since her mother, brother and nephew were killed there. She didn't talk about the murders but did dedicate "You Pulled Me Though" to family members in the audience. [UPI]
• Will you look at the way Tina is looking at Beyoncé? It is soooo "tired mom." [Concrete Loop]
• Speaking of Beyoncé, guess who has another hit flick? Obsessed was number one at the box office with $28 million. [MSNBC Scoop, NY Daily News]
• Surely this will come as shocking, shocking news: The ladies of The Real Housewives Of New Jersey have ties to the mob. [NY Daily News]
• If you're a dedicated fan, get your credit card ready: Various props from the newest George Clooney flick, Up In The Air, are going up for sale. [UPI]
• Kobe Bryant demanded creative control over the documentary Spike Lee filmed of the basketball star, and an insider claims "Spike completely yielded." [Page Six]
• Jon Hamm and ladyfriend Jennifer Westfeldt have formed a production company named Points West Pictures. They have 3 projects in development and all will feature at least one of the couple. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Jamie Foxx has recorded a message for Nineline, a crisis helpline run by Convenant House, the agency which works with homeless kids. Says a spokesperson: "Now kids in crisis will not only hear a reassuring voice but a well-known, positive role model." [Hollywood Reporter]
• If you're interested in reading an essay about Mike Tyson written by Ice-T, click here. [The Daily Beast]
• There's tension and "cattiness" in the Pussycat Dolls; in a recent concert, Melody said: "Thank you so much for supporting me - even if I'm not featured, you know what I'm saying?" [NY Daily News]
• Katy Perry and Travis McCoy of Gym Class Heroes: Back on. [Gatecrasher]
• Kate Walsh's divorce is getting nasty — there's a quibble over the accounting firm Walsh is using, which her estranged husband Alex Young says is doing PR for Walsh. [TMZ]
• Daniel Radcliffe is the "12th richest young person in the UK." He's got more cash than Princes William and Harry! [Telegraph]
• If you have $27,9995,000, you can buy the Holmby Hills house of Kimberly and Hugh Hefner. [LA Times]
• Yes, yes, James Franco's student films are inspired by gay poetry. [NY Mag]
• Ugly Betty returns this week, ending the rumor that the show was cancelled. [NY Daily News]
• Liam Neeson and his sons are "keeping busy with normal life" — like going to Knicks games. [People, Mirror]
• In this article, Dominic Monaghan spills on all of his travel memories. He says: "I do remember a fantastic holiday to Thailand with Billy Boyd and Orlando Bloom in my early twenties. We were all single, young and up for an adventure. We went to Bangkok then took off to the islands." [Independent]
• Curious what's up with Michael Keaton? He's directed a film, The Merry Gentlemen. And he's broken his foot. [LA Times]
• In a lengthy interview, Natasha McElhone talks about dealing with grief since the death of her husband one year ago. [Guardian]
• Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood, 61, plans to marry his girlfriend Ekaterina, 20, just as soon as he can get a "speedy" divorce from his wife, Jo, 54. [Mirror]
• Actor Campbell Scott got engaged in November, but we're just hearing about it now? Eh, congrats. [People]
• "Kylie Minogue and Richard Branson lose money but make UK rich list." [News.com.au]
• Aerosmith will perform on Maui to settle a class-action lawsuit resulting from a concert cancellation in 2007. [AP]
• "He was renowned for wearing grandpa-style spectacles but it now emerges that John Lennon's iconic look came about by accident…" [Daily Express]
• Blind item! "Which alcoholic songbird wears her sunglasses even inside her hair salon so no one can see how sauced she is?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I love her. It's great for her. It's what she wanted." — Josh Lucas on ex-girlfriend Salma Hayek getting married in Venice on Saturday. [People]
• "Tax got to 82% [in the 1970s] and I thought this was kind of unfair. Also, I see... that the government has taken it up to 50% and if it goes to 51 I will be back in America. I will not pay the Government more than I get. No way, ever. So they've reached their limit with me. That's the lot." — Michael Caine. [Telegraph]
• "I did read a scene for the Coen brothers last year, which they were amazed I would do. I was amazed they were amazed because apparently there's a whole etiquette I'm not aware of that says if you've been in a couple of films, you don't read. Which I find very strange, because how are the filmmakers supposed to know whether you can do it or not? I was very happy to read." — Tilda Swinton, when asked if she has ever auditioned for a role. [Backstage]
• "Life's a pain in the butt. You've got to be in shape for it. And the hell with the good old days. The most important thing is now. What are you this moment?" — Jack LaLanne, who still works out every day for two hours, lifting weights and swimming, at age 94. [Reuters]
• "I knew it was a joke. I knew it was supposed to be silly. Something like that I don't even take seriously. I thought it was hilarious." — Beyoncé, on the "screeching" clip made by prankster Matthew Zeghibe. [Gatecrasher]
• "I was raised in the country. When it was warm outside we were out there in shorts, no shirt, no shoes. I was doing that long before anybody was taking pictures and people like you were seeing it." — Matthew McConaughey. [Newsweek]
• "I know I've never done any independent film before…but there aren't that many other scripts out there with great parts for women my age. It's a true phenomenon that the parts dwindle as you get older. You wake up one day and you're flabbergasted to find out…so, this has happened to me. When I started out," she continues, "It was right around the time when Meryl Streep and Jessica Lange and Sally Field-all these actresses getting older-were still having big movies every year. There was a Sophie's Choice, a Norma Rae, etc. I thought, this is a new era, and I won't have to worry. It will all be fixed by the time I'm 40! And of course, it wasn't. All of us female actors think we can just keep going and going. But it's not always the case." — Geena Davis. [The Daily Beast]
• "We know so much about every actor on planet Earth. We know how they like to slice their avocado, what they named their baby. When I'm watching them save the world in a movie, I don't want to be thinking about their baby's name. I will now go on record to say I'm not going to even name my kid." — Ryan Reynolds. [NY Mag]

• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were married yesterday in front of 200 guests. An airplane flew over the ceremony, spelling out "Spencer Loves Heidi." several times in the air. You know, real subtle like.[People]

• And OMG, you guys, Lauren Conrad attended the ceremony, even though she previously said she wouldn't. That, as Huey Lewis would say, is the power of love. Or something. [USWeekly]
• Betty White has released a statement on the death of her co-star, Bea Arthur who died yesterday at the age of 86: "Bea was such an important part of a very happy time in my life and I have dearly loved her for a very long time. How lucky I was to know her." [People]
• "I was raised in the country. When it was warm outside we were out there in shorts, no shirt, no shoes. I was doing that long before anybody was taking pictures and people like you were seeing it."-Matthew McConaughey [Newsweek]
• Simon Cowell thinks Susan Boyle has her work cut out for her on Britain's Got Talent: "" keep saying to everybody, she's got to win the next stage. It's [up to] her," Cowell says, "She has four weeks to prepare for the biggest time of her life. She's got to sing better than she's ever sung before. But it could all go horribly wrong now because there are so many distractions." [People]
• Jamie Foxx has asked his 14-year-old daughter to write Miley Cyrus a letter in an attempt to make up for the nasty things he said about Cyrus earlier this month. " "I don't want to defend my position as a comedian to be further insensitive to Miley on (U.S. late night show) Jay Leno. We apologised to Miley and reached out to her.. and so we'll move on," Foxx says, "My daughter has written a letter to her. We're going to get that to her and like I said, I don't want to defend it.. you can't defend it." [DailyExpress]
• Ben Stiller has had some pretty bad dates: "The worst? I took a girl to see The Jazz Singer with Neil Diamond. That wasn't a good date movie: 'Orthodox Jew wants to be a singer', you know? I didn't get lucky that night." [DailyMail]
• Salma Hayek held a second wedding ceremony over the weekend, celebrating the day with a masquerade theme. Penelope Cruz, Woody Harrelson, and David Blaine were all in attendance.[DailyMail]
• Pete Townshend wasn't too impressed with Sting's performance in Quadrophenia: "Awful at the time, rather wooden," Townshend says of Sting's performance, "Though I am a huge fan of Sting and the Police as musicians."[DailyExpress]
• Blind Item: "This tweener actor on a hit show needs to get off the coke that was introduced to him by a former tween actor, and now, unemployed drug addict on the same network."[BlindGossip]
• Are the Pussycat Dolls in trouble? Member Melody Thornton apparently took a shot at lead singer Nicole Scherzinger during a recent concert, yelling "Thank you for supporting me, even though I'm not featured," to the fans, while giving Nicole a nasty look. She then pulled a Gretchen Wieners and shouted, "Don't let anyone stomp on your dreams!" [TheSun]
• "You know, how come there are fewer and fewer rock stars, people that a fan can really get into? I mean, I dig a lot of underground music, because there's a sense of community about it. But you get these kids that approach it like it would be cooler to be the guy that does Girls Gone Wild than to be Pete Townshend. That reflects where our society is right now. There needs to be more ambition about being a musician, about what it means to be creating music, about making the record of your dreams."- Billie Joe Armstrong [TimesofLondon]
• "I'm not like all the other celebrities in Hollywood that do a line of coke to lose weight.I could be really skinny, but I don't want to be. I like food. I don't want to be on drugs."-Kelly Osbourne [TheSun]
• Joel Madden was not allowed on a British Airways flight until he covered up his tattoos. [ONTD]
• Beyonce's latest film, Obsessed, opened in first place at the box office on Friday, taking in 11.1 million dollars. [EW]
• Mischa Barton will be returning to television with a role as a "super bitchy model" in a series called A Beautiful Life. "‘It's a younger version of Sex And The City," Barton says. ]DailyMail]
• Mike Judge on his famous voices: "I'm probably pretty close to Hank, I guess, and maybe a little bit of Milton in "Office Space." But when I was doing "Beavis and Butt-head," I kind of felt like after a while I was becoming Beavis, even though I was a lot smarter than Beavis and Butt-head. Or at least I hope I was." [NYTimes]

• A dude was arrested for trying to break into the Dancing With The Stars studio.

He's now got a restraining order against him because he was trying to meet Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson — but with two guns and duct tape in his car. Frightening. [Breitbart]

• The man stalking Shawn Johnson, Robert O'Ryan, says the gymnast was "speaking to him personally through the television and via ESP, and he will be with her not matter what." [NY Daily News]
• "Desperate" Britney Spears has been sending texts to ex Adnan Ghalib, according to a source. "She keeps sneaking messages to Adnan begging him to help her win back her freedom. She says she is lonely and misses being able to date the men she chooses. She feels trapped." [The Sun]
• One of the nurses fired by mother of octuplets Nadya Suleman says: This woman does not care for these kids, she's in this for the media, for the paparazzi." [Breitbart]
• "This woman does not care for these kids, that's my honest opinion," says nurse Linda West Conforti, founder of Angels In Waiting. [ABC News]
• Yes, Nadya Suleman was once a stripper. Or topless dancer. Move along. [MSNBC]
• Scarlett Johansson is the "muse" of Champagne brand Moet & Chandon, and you are not. [WWD]
• Also, people are talking about how thin ScarJo is now. [Defamer]
• Are Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz on the rocks? A source says: "He is going out all the time and she's stuck at home. It's just not working." Her rep says this is not true. [Page Six]
• Mariah Carey wants a baby, so she has dropped $200K on a pink crib, a high chair and some other stuff. Her rep says it's not true. [Gatecrasher]
• "Jessica Simpson was spotted ordering a cooked gourmet meal in a restaurant for her dog." [The Star]
• Neil Patrick Harris will host the TVLand Awards, which sounds like fun: There will be tributes to Magnum PI, Knots Landing, M*A*S*H and, uh, Two And A Half Men. [Socialite Life]
• CSI star Marg Helgenberger has filed for divorce from her hussband, actor (and SAG prez) Alan Rosenberg. They married in 1989 and have a son. [Breitbart, AP]
• Bish Plz Face Of The Day goes to Harlow Madden, resplendent in purple. [People]
• The Oscars, which have taken place in February the last couple of years, are moving back to March. [NY Mag]
• What is wrong with this sentence: The Pussycat Dolls will perform on the Kids Choice Awards, singing "Jai Ho." [Three Stooges movie. Directed by the Farrelly brothers. Starring Jim Carrey, Benicio Del Toro, and Sean Motherfucking Penn. [World Of Wonder, E!]
• Nicole Kidman's been cast in that Woody Allen film which Freida Pinto, Naomi Watts, Josh Broling and Anthony Hopkins are already attached to. [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• Canadian model Noot Seear has been cast in sparkly vampire flick New Moon. This story suggests, "Let the Robert Pattinson and Noot romance rumors begin!" [Yahoo News via E!]
• Lost's Ian Somerhalder has joined the cast of a new CW show, Vampire Diaries. [Variety]
• By the by, the Twilight soundtrack is burning up the charts; Robert Pattinson sings on it, you know. [Yahoo News via E!]
• A review of ABC's new show, In The Motherhood, which is based on webisodes, reads: "What may be funny for five minutes isn't necessarily funny for 30." [USA Today]
• Ugly Betty fans: Do you think Betty should end up with her boss? Eric Mabius, who plays bossman Daniel Meade, says no: "That would be the equivalent of us jumping the shark." [USA Today, EW]
• Courteney Cox has been shooting her new show, Cougar Town, and it seems her wardrobe consists of bathrobes. [Daily Mail]
• Here's a preview of what to expect of the new 9 To 5 musical — starring Alison Janney! Dolly Parton oversaw the casting and wrote the music. [NY Post]
• Whee! Bob Barker is coming out of retirement — for one day — to be on The Price Is Right. He'll be promoting his autobiography, Priceless Memories. I want to spin the wheel. [ET]
• Jeremy Piven's sushi case will go into arbitration on June 8. [EW]
• Click the link to see Padma Lakshmi eat a burger like she's having sex with it in an ad for Carl's Jr. [E!]
• Watchmen actor Jeffrey Dean Morgan just found out he's the father of a four-year-old son by an old girlfriend. Surprise! [Daily Express]
• Gossip Girl's Kelly Rutherford is on the cover of Baby Couture, you know, the magazine that puts the coo in couture? [Just Jared]
• Who the hell cares if Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller were rooting against Denise Richards on Dancing With The Stars? [MSNBC]
• Here is a video of Pharrell Williams singing and dancing in a McDonald's in Paris because they wouldn't serve him; they weren't exactly open or something. [NY Daily News]
• Jenny McCarthy is on the cover of Shape magazine, and says "[Weight Watchers] taught me portion control and to be conscious of what I put into my mouth." That's what she said? Anyway, she's not gluten and dairy free, not that you wanted to know. [People]
• Merengue star Elvis Crespo is accused of masturbating on a flight from Houston to Miami. A woman says she saw him cover himself with a blanket, jerk off and then expose himself. Questioned at the airport, Crespo said: "I don't recall doing that." [AP]
• Brit headline of the day: "Simon Cowell Gets His Comeuppance As Prince Philip Calls Him A Sponger." [Daily Mail]
• Put this on your wish list: A box set of Hollywood movies shot before the 1934 Production Code. "Graphic stories of scandal, adultery, prostitution, drug use, murder and homosexuality." Woohoo! [USA Today]
• Blind item! "Which mouthy actor had a waitress dump a scalding cup of coffee in his lap - right after he smacked her bottom?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Interesting characters are pretty rare if you really want to be the lead. That's the usual complaint of actresses my age, and they're not wrong. They depend on you being beautiful. Since I'm not cast for my physicality, I'm not that interested in those parts. I find that playing so many characters in so many films is a way to stay in the moment." — from a profile on fantastic, awesome actress Catherine Keener, who turns 50 this week. [Guardian]
• "Complex later replaced the pic with the Photoshopped version, causing all of this drama. But you know what, who cares! I'm proud of my body and my curves and this picture coming out is probably helpful for everyone to see that just because I am on the cover of a magazine doesn't mean I'm perfect." — Kim Kardashian on her Photoshop of Horrors. [Socialite Life]
• "I always say the younger girls have the abundance of work, but I get to play real women, not girls, who have a whole life behind them." — Virginia Madsen, who's in The Haunting In Connecticut. [LA Times]
• "Right now, I like the idea that things can just kind of pop up and if they feel right I can do them. Committing to my own sort of project, that's like, 'Okay, let me block out two years of my life and do it.' I was heavily fulfilled with the last one and I always have this thing with myself that if I can't sleep because I need to do it, then I'm gonna do it. But if I'm not losing sleep over it then…" — Justin Timberlake, who is not working on a new album. [The Star]
• "It's not black-and-white justice. It's heart-and-soul justice. That's the difference between her and a lot of the crime shows out there. These crimes are not huge. But they are offensive. And they're disrespectful. Some of them, she has to go to the law. But some of them are small, like 'Somebody took my dog!' Or 'I think my husband is with another woman.' And she pours out justice the way she sees fit." — Jill Scott on her role in The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, which debuts Sunday on HBO. [USA Today]

20.) Bobby Brown Farts On Carnie Wilson, Pees On Dee Snider
Bobby Brown took a half-hearted stab at earning a pay check and having a country music career via the reality show Gone Country, in which he lived with other out-of-work celebs down South and competed for a record contract. In this clip, he gets drunk, eats ribs, farts and pees.

19.) Teen Bathes, Then Bonds With Senior Citizen
Baby Borrowers was a social experiment in the form of a reality show that was supposed to teach teenagers how hard it is to raise a family and run a household. For some reason, one of the episodes called for the teens to care for senior citizens, maybe to scare them off of the burden of dealing with elderly parents later on down the road. In this clip, a teen has to bathe her senior ward, and then they have a touching conversation about the generational differences of filing nails square or rounded.

18.) Meet The Two Most Effective Forms Of Birth Control
Some episodes of Supernanny are scarier than horror movies. In this clip, two little terrors defiantly pick their noses and wipe the boogers on a wall, physically abuse their mother and say terrifying things like, "I have a dick and a weenie in my weenie," and "I'm gonna fuck you in your privates one day!"

17.) Vagina Insults Are The New "Ya Momma"
MTV's That's Amore — the spin-off of Shot at Love with Tila Tequila — featured women who incessantly talked about other women's vaginas.

16.) American Idol Contestant Who Looks Like Willem Dafoe With Face Glitter
Alexis Cohen was one of those "bad" auditions featured during the open-call leg of American Idol. They're always easy targets, but her working knowledge of the English language and her literal glittery attempt at polishing a turd made her the best of the worst.

15.) Stage Mom Has Violent, Psychotic Outburst
Rocky, stage mother to Haley, from VH1's I Know My Kid's a star first won our hearts when she asked her daughter if her tampon string was visibly hanging below her miniskirt. This freak out sealed the deal.

14.) Woman With A Half Wig Cries About It
Kim from Real Housewives of Atlanta attracted attention and confusion over her hair — an obvious wig that did not match the color of the natural bangs in the front. Her attempt at clearing the matter up (she had cancer!) only confused everyone more (wait, she only thought she had cancer!).

13.) Pussylicious
The reality show in which women compete for a spot (that's actually never given to them) in the the Pussycat Dolls lineup was called Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious, which obviously needed to be shortened to "pussylicious." Especially after one girl's introduction included her saying, "I'm Cassandra. I'm from Aurora, Illinois, I live in Chicago now, and I have a tattoo of cherries on my hoo-ha." Later, another girl gets injured and is forced to dance in her wheelchair.

12.) Women Past Their Prime Audition For Modeling Competition
She's Got the Look was supposed to be America's Next Top Model for the over-35 set. In this clip its obvious that there were reasons beyond their age that have kept these women from working the runway.

11.) Corey Haim Doesn't Understand Why Everyone He Knows Wants Him To Go To Rehab
It's always ridiculous/sad when addicts who can't fully open their eyes or articulate words think that they are fooling everyone. It's double ridiculous when it's someone like Corey Haim who has had a long public history of drug addiction.

10.) Is This Lady's Husband Gay?
Alex and her husband Simon were the breakout stars of Real Housewives of New York. They were attached at the hip, obsessed with teaching their uncooperative children French, and dropped $20k on opera tickets even though their Brooklyn brownstone was literally falling apart. But the question on everyone's mind was whether or not Speedo-wearing Simon is gay or just simply European.

9.) Women Get Wasted, Puke, Break Dishes, & Hock Loogies
This scene from Charm School: Rock of Love was the most entertaining display of drunken behavior since Bret took the girls to Vegas on season one.

8.) Stripper Mom And Porn Star Have Threesome With Dude, While Another Girl Mistakes Couch For Toilet
Scratch that! This is the was the most entertaining display of drunken behavior, brought to us by those classy roommates of Bad Girls Club.

7.) Flavor Flav Draws The Line At Herpes
As though he doesn't have the virus himself.

6.) The Matchmaker & The Mafia
Intervention is supposed to be a poignant, serious show about addiction, however, some of the characters — like this Italian woman who comes from a family who is part of "The Family" — make us smile.

5.) Denise Richards Calls A Celebrity Journalist A Cunt
As much as Denise Richards: It's Complicated sucked, it was fun to see the real reason behind why the tabloids are so hard on her.

4.) Brooke Hogan Is A Sexist Moron
The irony of her show being titled Brooke Knows Best escaped no one. In this clip, she reveals that her thoughts on politics, and how women's menstrual cycles makes them unfit to serve as President.

3.) America's Next Top Model Is A Menstrual Show
Per Tyra Banks' advice, women should bend over and wince in pain, as though they have menstrual cramps, in order to look "editorial."

2.) Terrifying Texas Mom Shows "Pansy" Husband Who's Boss
Wife Swap is a reliable source when looking to investigate the weirdos of America.

1.) Bikini Corie
The best elimination speech in competition-based reality TV programming ever, courtesy of Paris Hilton's My New BFF.

• Pin-up legend Bettie Page has been hospitalized after a heart attack she suffered on Tuesday. The 85-year-old Page is being held in the intensive care unit, and is "critically ill." [NYTimes]

• The Pussycat Dolls are apparently "so excited" to open for Britney Spears on her Circus world tour. "The Pussycat Dolls can babysit Britney Spears' kids!" says lead singer Nicole Scherzinger. I'm sure Britney's lawyers are thrilled to hear it! [US Magazine]

• Meanwhile, Britney is having a "love-hate relationship" with her boobs. "At the moment I hate them. I want them smaller," Spears says, "I'm tempted to have a breast reduction so I can slink into some amazing stage outfits for my next set of shows. I know they look sexy but sometimes they get in the way." It's like raaaaain on your wedding day! [DailyMail]

• New details are emerging about Full House star Jodie Sweetin's divorce: Sweetin claims that her husband, Cody Herpin, never made any efforts to find employment after they were married. "Our house is in foreclosure, our water has been shut off twice. Currently, all of our other utilities are overdue," Sweetin says, "[He] kept finding one excuse after another for his failure to even attempt to find employment." The couple had reportedly been living on Sweetin's residual checks from her child stardom days. Yikes. [People]

• Tell your 12-year-old niece to stop freaking out: the Jonas Brothers like, totally aren't breaking up, you guys! [US Magazine]

• Nicole Kidman admits to being extremely attached to her baby, Sunday Rose. "I can't bear to be separate from my baby; I'm totally devoted to her," Kidman says, "Mum says I'm over-bonded with her, but I don't care." Meanwhile, Connor and Isabella Cruise are, you know, somewhere, doing something, whatever. I kid! I kid![DailyMail]

• Ouch: MSNBC has a harsh headline up regarding Beyonce's latest film: "Cadillac Records Is As Flat As A Vinyl LP." [MSNBC]

• Kandice Hutchison, a 22 year old contestant on MTV's latest reality show, Double Shot at Love was killed in a car accident "shortly after filming her last scene." [US Magazine]

• Jessica Simpson is apparently going back to her religious roots: ""I've been contemplating taking a college course in religion," Simpson says, "I love religion."[The Sun]

• A "dry run" of Jimmy Fallon's new late-night talk show will begin Monday in an online-only format. [E!]
• • Eli Stone star and ex-husband of Angelina Jolie, Jonny Lee Miller, is now the proud father of a boy named Buster Timothy. Miller's wife, Michelle Hicks, gave birth to Buster on Wednesday; it is the first child for both.[People]

  • More drama for Lindsay and Sam: an onlooker claims that Lindsay was "in tears" after a fight with Ronson that was caused by Lindsay wanting to go home and Sam wanting to stay out and party. "Sam was roaming the party and chatting with people, and Lindsay just seemed to melt down literally," the source claims. [E!]

  • Sad news: writer and editor Forrest Ackerman, who coined the term "Sci-Fi" in 1954, has died at the age of 92. [Reuters]

  • Did Coldplay rip off "Viva la Vida" from guitarist Joe Satriani? Satriani thinks so, and is suing the band as a result. [EW]

  • Audrina and JustinBobby were spotted out together, most likely having a fake conversation in a well-lit area as a generic soundtrack played in the background and mascara dripped down someone's otherwise perfectly-made-up face. [US Magazine]

  Image via PlanetBettie.

• It's official: Thierry Mugler will be costuming Beyonce's tour. "In addition to serving as 'creative adviser,' with input on everything from set lighting to choreography, Mugler will direct three segments of the show, called 'Dangerously in Love,' 'Ave Maria' and the finale. He’ll also costume the production — from the star herself, who will wear approximately 58 Mugler creations, to the band, back-up dancers and singers." [WWD]
• Michelle Obama is fashion's new favorite doll! "The American fashion industry hasn’t had a catch this big since, well, since another icon of Democratic chic took up residency on Pennsylvania Avenue in 1961." [WWD]
• And don't forget playing virtual dress-up with Sasha and Malia! [WWD]
• Naomi Campbell on her Miami retrospective: “It’s an honor to have your timeline in your career mapped out, and to be asked to be part of such a prestigious week is quite overwhelming." [New York Times]

• Fashion Week may be seriously subdued: think "presentations" instead of runway shows. [WWD]
• As rumors swirl over Anna Wintour's possible retirement, the knives are out! "She's had to put up with an unbelievable amount of nastiness, mainly from female journalists because of jealousy," claims one defender. [Independent]
• Yes! Iconic Aussie drag queen Dame Edna is MAC's new muse! [Independent]
• The new line of "Lanvin dolls" is, disappointingly, more like porcelain statuettes, "a hark back to Jeanne Lanvin's partaking in the post-war Theâtre de la Mode show which saw French couturiers showcasing their designs through miniature dolls, due to the lack of fabric." The outfits are still cool, though. [Dazed Digital]
• Speaking of playing dress-up: Alberta Ferretti enters the virtual world of Stardoll. "Without question, Philosophy di Alberta Ferretti’s Stardoll suite is the game’s classiest — and of course, most expensive — shopping destination. In the Philosophy boutique, you can you scope out, try on, and “buy” select pieces from the label’s Fall 2008 collection. Before you dress your avatar in the Goth Lolita-tinged finery, take note of the ensembles conveniently “modeled” by virtual showroom rep Zelda Williams (yes, Robin’s teenaged daughter)." [Sassybella]
• A new Brooklyn plus-sized vintage boutique is the first of its kind. [Racked]
• Donatella Versace "travels everywhere with her inner circle of bodyguard, hairstylist, make-up artist and a handsome French pony-tailed assistant called Bruce," even to do earthquake relief in China. [TimesOnline]
• "If Virginia Woolf were alive today, one fashion critic observed, she would wear Nicole Farhi." Or not. [Telegraph]
• Zac Posen is doing a diffusion line! We don't know with whom! [Fashionista]
• Earnest Sewn's so-called "recession-proof" store is all under $50! [Style.com]
• Hop can "beauty hospitals" no longer exist? [Peculiar Beauty]
• The Pussycat Dolls' lingerie — outerwear? — hits Bebe. “I designed this line specifically for women to feel empowered, strong, feminine, sexy and a little naughty if they’re feeling it,” said (visionary) Robin Antin. [WWD]
• Calvin Klein's futuristic take on menswear classics are...like futuristic versions of clothes. [Esquire]
• Jack of all trades Karl Lagerfeld gets behind the lens, shooting Eva Herzigova for a calendar. “It’s about how one girl can be every woman. It’s an idea I love,” quoth the Kaiser. [WWD]

• The Pussycat Dolls are launching a clothing line for La Senza. It's underwear...or is it? [The Sun]
• Fashion "designer" Lauren Conrad knows her demo: sorority sisters! [NY Magazine]
• Gwen Stefani and those four hapless Harajuku girls will be in the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade. Presumably their float will trail hers. [Racked]
• Chicago suiter makes hay: “Dressing Presidential. Pick Your Power Suit. President-elect Barack Obama Found His at Hart Schaffner Marx.” [WWD]

• Oh dear. Word is, Lucky is laying off editors. [Portfolio]
• Dame Vivienne Westwood's 'Chaos Point' show introduced her Gold Label line, raised money for environmental concerns. [ElleUK]
• Speaking of charity...here are the Dame's recessionista tips: “Women should try on their husband’s jackets and even boxer shorts for size as outer wear...Wearing political badges is also a great look and kerchiefs worn as knickers can be fun for the disco or beach. You can also tie tablecloths or even blankets around yourself to look good." [Daily Express]
• Plumes, Sarah Stein's new study of feathers —- and, by extension, of course, the fortunes of the millinery industry — is on our eccentric Christmas list. [WSJ]
• The NFL Shop is courting women. Seemingly, Jessica Simpson has failed to start a trend in skintight jerseys. [BrandWeek]
• Are we the only ones who find the Times' vicarious "critical shopper" column a despair? Especially when the clothes are as rad as these Oscar de la Rentas... [New York Times]
• Ralph Lauren donates $13 million towards the restoration of the Smithsonian's anthem-inspiring 200-year-old Old Glory. Well, he's made a lot of money off the stars and stripes; nice to give back. [USA Today]
• Do people still wear Docs? And would those people wear special-edition Raf Simons docs? [WWD]
• Cautious Burberry cuts costs. [WSJ]
• The drama of shopping H&M's new line! [Village Voice]
• Doll porn: "Nearly 90 dolls dressed by top designers were displayed at the Mini Palais in Paris Monday night ahead of an auction benefiting UNICEF. While most dolls were decked out sumptuous evening gowns by Lanvin or Oscar de la Renta, others were slipped into colorful and comfortable frocks, like Christian Lacroix’s freestyle patchwork. Chantal Thomass went cubist, making hers entirely with Ladurée pastry boxes." [WWD]
• A counterfeit bag plot thickens: is the mob involved? (The Godfather: Gucci edition.) [UPI]
• Designer Roksanda Ilinic: "When I go to the countryside or on a skiing holiday, I am always horribly under-equipped - I wear high heels when everyone else is in ski boots...It's a terrible mistake, but I can't say it won't happen again." Minus the part about holidays, skiing, and heels, we can totes relate! [VogueUK]

[Image via The Sun]

[Sydney, October 14. Image via Splash.]

Earlier: Passersby Attempt To Ignore Lifelike Rubber Pussycat Doll

• PETA apparently can't get over Armani's betrayal. Their latest devastating riposte? They've made these posters of Giorgio with a Pinocchio nose. [Towelroad]
• And in case that was over your head, that's "the puppet whose nose would grow when he told lies." [UPI]
• They should be happy with Henri Bendel; the department store's no longer carrying fur! [Nylon]
• Karl Lagerfeld cares about animals, too. Or at least that freaky teddy bear. “I was instantly seduced by the idea. I very much like animals. Above all when they are stuffed with cotton or plastic!” [Fashion Week Daily]
• Sean Connery looks super silver-foxy in his new LV ads. [Telegraph]

• The honeymoon's over: Narciso Rodriguez and Liz Claiborne officially part ways. [WWD]
• The "antiques buyer" from Anthropologie's getting his own show. Which is, I'm sure, very exciting for those of you who watch the Sundance Channel. [Fashionista]
• And if that sounds fun, you might be fascinated by the knowledge John Galliano's going to be speaking at some gala next month. [WWD]
• Avon forced to yank ads that claim its creams stop aging or something completely reasonable. [Daily Mail]
• Apparently in the current economic climate, women "plan" to spend less. Mice, men etc. [Reuters]
• Charlotte Ronson's doing a line for J.C. Penney. This in addition to, at last count, her eponymous line, her stuff for Urban, the collaboration with Shoshanna, and, you know, being a socialite. [WWD]
• Old Navy finally chooses an ad agency. We hope they'll make them bizarre again — I miss Carrie Donovan. [BrandWeek]
• Thanks to a new backer, Rochas pulls (another) Lazarus. [WWD]
• Marco Zanini may design for them. [ElleUK]
• The Pussycat Dolls are looking for a wardrobe assistant. Those with vinyl allergies need not apply. [The Sun]
• Nina Garcia's neuroses: "I wasn’t nervous about being in front of the camera, but I was nervous about seeing myself on camera. My husband makes me watch the show. I cringe the whole time." [Babble]
• Everybody's used to "Orgasm' blush. So Nars ups the ante: Super Orgasm Blush! Take That! [Nylon]

[London, September 19. Image via Splash.]

The Okay:

Jenny Mollen's Steven-Alan-esque plaid is actually adorable - who amongst us wouldn't wear this? Enjoy it: it's all downhill from here.
Loving the color of Katie Cleary's frock.
And by "okay" I actually mean: "the exact outfit I wore on the first day of 8th Grade, 1994." I think Marissa Jaret Winokur may have actually stolen my vest.


The Bad/Ugly/Back to Bad:
Many seconds of research failed to establish a real overview of Katerina Graham's professional profile. I only know that she is voting for Change, is wearing a really ugly mini.
Jasmine Dustin, on the other hand, "appeared in American Pie Presents Band Camp, Lingerie Bowl, Punk'd, and on the Deal or No Deal season one website, as a substitute model. She was never actually seen on the show. Dustin graduated from Pinkerton Academy. She is of French, Scottish, and Native American ancestry."
Hip-hop artist Teairra Mari could use a nice camisole.
I've been following Brittny Gastineau's progress since Filthy Rich Cattle Drive. Good to see the kid's fighting the good fight, clothes-wise.
Ashley Roberts is a Pussycat Doll. Just putting it out there.

It's either the overly-matchy zebra-stripe shoe or the hose, but fellow Doll Kimberly Wyatt: something is mos def rotten in Denmark.
This well-coordinated little lady is one Brooke Long.

Images via Getty

[Los Angeles, June 4. Image via Splash.]

Times writer Kara Jesella notes that many '70s feminists even used the phrase "I don't want to be a piece of meat. I'm not going to eat a piece of meat," as a rallying cry.

But, if vegan activists are speaking out about not eating meat for environmental reasons, should they be happy that more alpha males are eschewing steak because they see scantily clad women promoting that lifestyle? Despite their beliefs about sexual objectification? The question boils down to: do the means justify the ends? And speaking of ends, the appeal of veganism to the heterosexual bore might not be very strong in the first place: Johnny Diablo has already put his Gentleman's club up for sale because of poor attendance.

The Carrot Some Vegans Deplore [New York Times]

Earlier: Can Female Vegetarians And Male Carnivores Ever Find True Foodie Love?

• Kate Moss's fifth collection for Topshop launches today. It's inspired by "travel." Oh, bite me. [Vogue UK]
  
• Spanx bras — to flatten your back fat, of course — in stores now! [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• You will be so proud of Eva Mendes! She overcame that whole nasty rehab debacle to be chosen as the face of Calvin Klein underwear. Yay Eva! And yay Calvin Klein for taking a chance on a star who is trying to overcome adversity. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Pussycat Dolls founder Robin Antin has extended her evil empire to include a lingerie line (entitled, sickeningly, "Pussycat Dolls...shhh") and a costume jewelry line. [WWD, 3rd item]
  
• Nicole Richie doing a maternity line? Why, God, why? [LATimes]

• Marc Jacobs and his histrionic boyfriend Jason Preston are fighting again. [Page Six]
• "I feel like Beyoncé is a very good image for what I do. She's the woman that I present. I adore women with curves," says designer Elie Saab. We remain skeptical. [Fashion Week Daily]
• I know I'll sleep better tonight knowing that Lord & Taylor has achieved its life-long dream of stocking Juicy Couture. [IHT]
• Also, knowing Victoria Beckham owns ten different Hermes Birkin bags, all in different colors. [Sunday Mirror]
• Evangeline Lilly is the face of Davidoff Cool Water Women. [WWD, 2nd item]
• Bindi Irwin's children's clothing line on sale everywhere... well, in Australia. [News.com.au]
• Paris Hilton: Inspiration to Indian fashion designers. [Reuters]
• Gap has once again commissioned supercool designers to design limited-edition white shirts for the chain. 3.1 Phillip Lim, Band of Outsiders, Michael Bastian, Philip Crangi and Threeasfour have all signed on for the project, sponsored by Vogue and the CFDA. It seems like only yesterday they were doing this for the very first time! I have only written approximately 3.1 x 10²⁹ words on this site since then. [WWD, sub req'd]
• No, light-up packaging scares me. [BellaSugar]
• Our favorite model-blogger Erin O'Connor is now preparing to make a documentary about the fashion industry. $10 says everyone comes off looking ethical and well-groomed. [Daily Mail]