[New York, October 19. Image via Getty]

Below: A cat who loves a baby so much he'll take any type of abuse.

Baby Hates Cat… Cat Doesn't Care [Buzzfeed]

[Image via The Daily Puppy.]

(Click to enlarge)

More info on Juneau the Alaskan Klee Kai here.

Check out the fierce feline's pose! The model? Meh. The kitten, seriously, should get signed by Ford. Almost enough to make you gloss right over the fact that the jacket is a whopping $528.

Admit it: You want a pink closet complete with seating and kittens. Okay, maybe you don't need the $25 legwarmers. But the kittens! Non-negotiable!

This moddle is all, "Hee hee, look at the feather, kitty!" And that cat has purr-fected the "bitch, plz" face.

Honey! Your $88 plaid shirt, $198 ripped jeans and $198 studded boots are scaring the widdle kitty!

Is it the headband, the open-crotch pose or the creepers that have shamed this pooch into turning her head away from the camera? All would be understandable reasons.

Not every page in the catalog has an animal on it, unfortunately, which means you're forced to contemplate whether anyone ever needs a solid brass plated rhodium necktie ($298).

Additionally, you've got to wonder if the this catalog is pushing "future Miss Havisham chic."

New motto: Less lace, more doggie face!

Seriously, though, are creepers coming back? I like 'em better on Teddy Boys and greasers, for what it's worth.

Also, when I think "desirable dress," I think "Joan Holloway," not "Julie Brown in Earth Girls Are Easy."

Hopefully this cute bitch got to eat some of that cake.

Earlier: Anthropologie: Sartorialist-ic "Real" People Impossibly Pretty, Well-Dressed
Urban Outfitters: Does This Make My Ass Look Wack?
Fall At J. Crew: Romantic Ruffles, Destroyed Jeans, Hideous Shoes

[New York, July 31. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Jessica was first featured on a Sky News segment two years ago (which we posted), when she was seven years old. Last night, Animal Planet ran a one-hour special—narrated by John Waters—on her unlikely bond with the couple who have become Jessica's parents. Now that she's nine, Jessica has begun the puberty process, and the many dogs who live on the property, who were once her playmates, have sort of become her children, since her biological clock began ticking.

Earlier: Pretty Bitches? Some Jessicas Are Also Fat, Hungry Hippos

• Kanye West has been charged with battery, theft and vandalism stemming from that incident last September in which he smashed a paparazzi's camera at LAX. He's planning a fly courtroom outfit right now. [TMZ, Mirror, Gatecrasher]

• Here is piece about Natasha Richardson's life and death, including who visited her before she was taken off of life support (Joan Didion; Meryl Streep.) [NY Post]
• Vanessa Redgrave, Natasha Richardson's mother, played Joan Didion on Broadway, and the play was about losing a daughter. [Fox 411]
• Rihanna's "mentor" (?), producer Evan Rogers, says all the attention from Oprah and Tyra Banks makes matters worse: "I think that everyone has good intentions and means well, but it turns up the heat in terms of it seeming like the whole world is telling her what to do." Eh, she needs to listen. [MSNBC]
• Rihanna's car was pulled over last night in Hollywood for having tinted windows and no front license plate. She was in the backseat, not driving. [TMZ]
• A judge has issued a restraining order against Britney's ex, Adnan Ghalib. It's in effect until 2012, and there's no way he can wait that long. [NY Post]
• Uh-oh: Jessica Lange fell in her home, suffering a broken collarbone and a small cut on her forehead. Be well! [Daily Mail]
• Oh snap! LeAnn Rimes is not denying that she's having an affair with Eddie Cibrian, (as noted in Midweek Madness.) She says, "This is a difficult time for me and my loved ones." [NY Daily News]
• Jason Segel brought a date to the premiere party of I Love You, Man and she passed out by the pool and had to be carried out on a stretcher. Must have been an awesome bash! [Page Six]
• Katie Holmes: Not on a special Scientology diet; not pregnant. Despite everything we've heard. [E!]
• Sad face: One of Oprah's cocker spaniel puppies died and the other one is sick. Sadie the puppy is fighting a life-threatening disease called parvovirus. Hope she pulls through! [NY Daily News]
• Shocker: "Kate Moss Parties For The Third Night In A Row." [Daily Mail]
• Prince William has a "Harry Potter scar" but no magical abilities, as far as we know. [Yahoo News via AFP]
• Here is a picture of Gwyneth Paltrow picking off of Madonna's plate. [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Some phone billionaire paid Leona Lewis £1 million to sing at his daughter's 21st birthday party. In this economy! [Telegraph]
• The Colbert Report will spend a week taping on a USO tour in the Persian Gulf; Comedy Central is claiming this is the first TV series to shoot more than ep in a combat zone. Colbert says: "I can't tell you where I'm going, but the fact that I can't tell you where I'm going should tell you where I'm going." [Variety]
• Did Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell kiss?!!?!?! [E!]
• More rumors about Liz Hurley's marriage: "He keeps flying off to India. There's no sign of that longed-for baby. And gossips whisper about her terrible temper..." [Daily Mail]
• Gossip Girl spinoff news: Josh Schwartz says the new show will focus on Lily, played by Brittany Snow. "Brittany and Krysten Ritter have amazing chemistry as these mismatched sisters and Andrew McCarthy plays their father, which is incredible. We also got No Doubt to record a cover of Adam and the Ants' 'Stand and Deliver' for the show. They're going on tour and they don't have an album, so this is the only new song that they've done. They performed it on the show and everybody, Gwen [Stefani] and the band, were just super into it." [E!]
• As previously posted, Project Runway's Kenley Collins assaulted her now ex-fiancé with a cat yesterday and was arrested. She says: "It was a miscommunication. Fights happen, and that's that." But… what about the cat?!?! She also threw her laptop and three apples at the dude. [NY Post]
• Taylor Momsen tops this list of "Worst Celebrity Mullets." [ONTD]
• You know what's cool? How the new Real Housewives Of New Jersey — Italian ladies with mob ties — isn't stereotypical. At all. [NY Post, NY Daily News]
• Girls have "figured out his schedule" and are now stalking James Franco outside of his classes at Columbia University. At least they're learning something? [Page Six]
• Are the final four American Idol contestants already chosen? [E!]
• Kate Bosworth is single again; she dumped hot boyfriend James Rousseau. [Star]
• A folk singer is accusing Lil Wayne of copyright infringement. What a world. [NY Daily News]
• Alex Rodriguez is suing over a real estate deal. [TMZ]
• Chow Yun Fat will play Confucius in a new film, which is a pretty big deal, no? [Yahoo News via AFP]
• Thank Zeus: VH1 is bringing back Behind The Music. Lil Wayne and Scott Weiland have signed on; expect sex and drugs and drama! [Yahoo News via Hollywood Reporter]
• Actor Stacy Keach was hospitalized Tuesday after suffering a mild stroke. [Variety]
• "She was a wonderful woman and actress and treated me like I was her own. I didn't see much of her over the years but I will miss her. My heart goes out to her family. This is a tragic loss." — Lindsay Lohan on Natasha Richardson, who played her mother in The Parent Trap. [E!]
• "It was my responsibility as a kid to regulate her pills. I remember sitting in hotel rooms, opening capsules, emptying out the drugs and filling the capsules with sugar…I was taught to never, ever call an ambulance, no matter what happened. I was to call my father or someone else never an ambulance because it would get into the press. I was taught at a young age to lie, to deceive, to manipulate." — Lorna Luft, on her mother, Judy Garland. [Page Six]
• "He's been in touch a little. The apologies come, and he was like, 'I made a big mistake.' And I'm like, 'Yeah, yeah, I know. Go ahead and say what you need to say to feel better and to sleep at night.'" — Dita Von Teese on Marilyn Manson, to Inked magazine. [Page Six]
• "When I got the call, I was playing pool with Scott. I remember picking up the phone and someone started asking me how the Veterans Day parade was. At first I didn't even recognize who it was, but it was my brother. He just sounded so down in the dumps, I had never heard him like that! He told me he got the letter I'd been dreading and everything just changed. My mind was going a mile a minute. Everything disappeared, Scott, the cameras, I was just absorbed in that phone call. At first I wanted so bad for my brother to say he was joking, but he wasn't." — Ryan Conklin, of The Real World, who was called back to serve in Iraq. [LA Times]
• "When me and my dad played pool, he'd always beat me. I'd like be putting 'em quickly. But he'd be really slow and methodical and then just wait for me to mess up. And as soon as I did, he'd be like this [swishing noise]. So when I decided to take that method, and really take my time and take one careful shot, I'd always beat him. Always. I just know now that if you take your time with something, things just seem to work out best." — Idris Elba. [USA Today]

[Birmingham, England. March 6. Image via Getty.]

BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND - MARCH 06: George the Bulldog waits to go in the show ring on day two of the annual Crufts dog show at the National Exhibition Centre on March 6, 2009 in Birmingham, England. During this year's four-day competition nearly 23,000 dogs and their owners will vie for a variety of accolades but ultimately seeking the coveted 'Best In Show'. Amid controversy over the breeding and welfare of dogs the main sponsors Pedigree and the BBC have this year dropped out of the world's biggest dog show. (Photo by Christopher Furlong/Getty Images)

A newborn giraffe foal is pictured at the Planckendael Zoo on March 5, 2009 in Muizen. (JORGE DIRKX/AFP/Getty Images)

While the stories of the sick puppies are really sad (despite the overwhelmingly cute photos), I couldn't help but laugh at how calm and cuddly the "guard dog" turned out to be. The way she looks at her owner's face with her sad eyes and then drops her head is probably the best response to "sic 'em" I've ever seen. Still, the breeder Robin Schulder is a total scumbag, who is not only ripping people off, but somehow allowing these animals to get incredibly sick in her care, selling them for thousands of dollars, and then refusing to help out with any vet bills. She even insisted that one puppy that she sold, who was born blind, turned out that way because his owner's must've dropped him on the head. I think maybe she was dropped on the head. The state of New York needs to yank her license to sell immediately.

[Sydney, February 15. Image via Getty.]

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - FEBRUARY 15: Winning Dog Jezebel in the 'Best Pick Up Dog' Competition during the official launch of the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras Festival in Victoria Park on February 15, 2009 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by Gaye Gerard/Getty Images)

Kaz Hosaka spent six hours prepping miniature poodle Champion Surrey Sweet Spice before entering the ring; the New York Times says Hosaka is "an artist who tends his poodles' poufs as if they were bonsai trees from his native Japan." Think about the wacky excess as you check out the latest images from the Westminster Dog Show:

"I can has economic stimulus package?"

"So I says to her, I says, Ethel. If you don't get yourself a box you ain't gonna be able to watch Ellen. Somethin' about digital teevee. She doesn't get it, though, you know?"

"If my lo mein doesn't get here in 30 seconds I am going to have to cut a bitch."

"Cleans up messes quicker than a Swiffer."

"Do I have broccoli in my teeth?"

"Dude, does this thing go any faster? I saw a hot little Yorkie over by the snack bar."

Insert your own "No Woman No Cry" joke here.

Awwwwwwwww, who's a good boy?

"It's not you… It's me. I can't do this anymore."

Message received, loud and clear.

"Is that sirloin? That doesn't smell like sirloin. I'm not even going to bother if that's not sirloin."

El oh el.

The best "Bish, plz," ever.

"I just want to be like, a champagne blonde? Like a honey blonde. Not a frosty blonde. Too trashy. A classy blonde, like one of those Real Housewives."

"Worried about my performance? No… what makes you think so? Do I look worried?"

"We're just sick of spending so much on Pantene Pro-V." "You can't underestimate the importance of a good conditioner."

"Friends, it's a dog eat dog world."

"I know. I'm funny, but looks aren't everything. I've heard 'em all before."

One of the Best of the Dog-Handling Breed [WSJ]
The Poodle Can't Talk Now; She's in With Her Stylist [NY Times]
Earlier: Day 1 Of The Westminster Dog Show

If you aren't familiar with the Puppy Bowl, it's sort of like the Shiba Inu Puppy Cam on steroids (and about five years old). Animal Planet producers get a bunch of shelter puppies, stick them in a mock football field and tape them running around while an actual sports announcer provides commentary. It's also about the only original programming that any network bothers to run against the Superbowl. (I would show you clips of this year's matchup but — I swear to God — they embargoed them harder than Obama's Inauguration day speech, so I would recommend watching some of last year's show.) Below, an introduction to this year's competitors.

The Starting Line-Up

Madeline the "Regal Beagle," who reportedly loves chasing squirrels.

Eli the Australian Shepherd, who prefers Vegemite with his bones.

"Mistress of Mutt Mayhem" Elvira, an Australian Catahoula mix, who "howls at the moon."

"Big" Mac, who "tackles with the force of a Mack Truck."

"Our Lady Linebacker" Bella, who we are reliably informed "owns 30 rhinestone collars."

Oh, and while the puppies are on a break after the first half, those kitten lovers get their own all-new kitty half-time show complete with cat toys and wacka-wacka music — if your head hasn't already exploded from the puppy cuteness and Pepper the Parrot singing the national anthem. I wish I was kidding.

But there are other puppies that get in on the action, too, throughout the course of the game.

The Back Benchers
Moose

Mercy

Sawyer

Schroder

Alex

Griffey

Xander

Matilda

Who will get the most tackles? Will anyone get sacked? Who will make a touchdown (yes, they do count those!)? Who will step in the waterbowls the most? Who will capture American's hearts? You'll just have to tune in with me and Best Week Ever's Dan Hopper (separately) on Sunday, as we both think it's better than some stupid football game. I promise to caterwaul about the patriarchy with extra fervor on Monday to make up for it.

5 Reasons To Watch The Puppy Bowl Instead Of The Super Bowl [Best Week Ever]

All images courtesy of Animal Planet

But look! Puppies! Apparently Button hasn't been getting a lot of sleep — you know new moms — and Button's owners, Nicola and Adam Morely, are working around the clock to keep the puppies, who all have Christmas names, happy. Clip above!

• A Dalmatian named Button gave birth to a litter of 18 puppies, which puts her total number of offspring in the thirties. • And yet another study shows that virginity pledges don't really work. Someone better tell Jordan Sparks. • A mother used lifeguard training to save herself and her two young daughters after their family car slid off the road into a freezing pond. • Male cyclists, triathletes, and skiiers may be at greater risk for developing eating disorders. • Older women who are more physically fit are less likely to have decreased cognitive function as they age, study says. • Just what we need: a new injectable treatment named Reloxin claims to be better than Botox. • A Nebraskan woman faked labor pains when she was caught shoplifting. After arriving at the hospital, police were informed that the woman was not even pregnant. • A cat wandered onto the set of a live weather forecast in Germany. The meteorologist scooped up the cat and let it help point helpfully toward the weather map. • Twitter uses raise $12,000 to help an abused woman leave her husband. • Washington Attorney General Rob will ask lawmakers to raise the sentencing for domestic violence felonies. • New research finds that black women face greater challenges when it comes to climbing the corporate ladder. • A study has found that men who do not find curvy woman more attractive than athletic women are more likely to father children with autism. • Something else to be paranoid about: the germs that live on doctor's scrubs and lab coats could kill you. • The cosmetics industry is facing serious reform, as the Obama administration looks to change the current standards of the Toxic Substances Control Act (TSCA) •