In fact, regardless of the day, the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety reports that 54 percent of all pedestrians killed in car accidents at night had elevated blood alcohol levels. And, all it takes is one inattentive driver and one swerve-y pedestrian to do this.

My cautionary tale takes place the day before Christmas break began in my senior year in college. Upon discovering that — for the holidays, natch — my boyfriend had treated himself to a blowjob from someone else, I decided to get my entire day's caloric intake strictly from alcohol. By midnight, I had cycled through rum, White Zinfandel, tequila and made my way back to rum by the time I somberly told the older gentlemen hitting on me that all men were assholes. Then I threw up on them. The designated driver whose job is was to get me home (who wanted me the fuck out of her car) dropped me at the 7-11 that lay across 4 lanes of traffic from my apartment. I could barely squint enough to tell that each car was actually not equipped with 4 headlights each, and I could definitely not judge distance or speed. Horns were blown, tires screeched, and it turns out that at least one of those cars was closer than it appeared. That I didn't die 10 feet from my apartment door that night was a matter of sheer luck (thought it didn't feel that way the next morning) and a driver with quick reflexes. Those aren't things that you should count on, so tonight, get yourself the kind of friend who stays just sober enough to drag your drunken ass up again (pictured here) or loves you enough to make the U-turn.

Walking While Intoxicated [New York Times]

Earlier: Clark Gable's Granddaughter Kayley Doesn't Give A Damn

• Walk — brisk walking is great for you!
• But don't wear antiperspirant while you're exercising! The aluminum may cause cancer.
• Avoid hormones.
• Or don't! A 40-year study says the pill cuts your long-term risk of cancer.
• Get screened.
• Have Kids.
• Breastfeed.
• Or maybe don't! Prolactin, a hormone that stimulates breast development and milk production could also promote cancer cells.
• Lose weight.
• Get a stressful job. Daily stress reduces your risk by 40%.
• But make sure it's "good" stress! Because bad stress causes cancer.
• But don't work the nightshift.
• Live somewhere clean, less polluted. (Good luck with that!)
• Be white.

Earlier: They Don't Call It The 'Graveyard Shift' For Nothing
That Stinks
Good News: Popping The Pill Fights Cancer

I have been shoving garlic up my vagina for the past 24 hours — a home remedy that I'm hoping will kill whatever is making my crotch froth. This infection could be the result of a number of things. I recently got off antibiotics for a gnarly bug bite on my leg. Everyone knows antibiotics are one of the leading causes for the yeast beast.

I also let a dude with some unsavory-smelling grillz go down on me last week. Probably not the cleanest thing I could let near my cooch. On Friday night, my band played at a house party. I woke up the next day on the couch, still in my nude suits: Layers of full-body pantyhose, all of which were drenched in beer. After all the boozin', antibiotics, and general dirty play, it really came as no surprise that things got stanky in my panties by Sunday.

To counteract that, I wrapped a garlic clove in cheesecloth and wedged in my vagina. I was sure I had arrived in Yeast Infection City. But then Slut Machine told me about this study on Science Daily, about how women are commonly misdiagnosing themselves with yeast infections. She suggested I try out this Vagisil Screening Kit to see if it really was a yeast infection after all.

The test is fast and easy — you just wash your hands, insert the smaller end of the swab (with the pH paper on it), and press it against your vaginal wall for five seconds, then take out the stick and match it to a level on the color chart pH guide the test provides. Mine came out looking like the color of baby poop. It was what I feared: Definitely not a yeast infection. Either I'm battling Bacterial Vaginosis (BV) or Trichomoniasis (Trich). BV is a bacterial infection, where as a yeast infection is a fungal one. Trich is the same thing that Charlotte got on Sex in the City when her vagina had to go on antidepressants. It is caused by a parasite and that is totally nast. If it is the Trich, I blame it all on stink teeth. Either way, I need to get my legs in the stirrups and take care of this mess for good. Good thing I was too broke to buy Monistat, because apparently if you have BV and you treat it with an over-the-counter yeast infection medication, you can aggravate the condition. I can, however, still slather plain yogurt all over the place to ease the burn and plug it up with garlic to keep up the fight until I can get a doctor to look at my flaming lips.

Common Misdiagnosis: Most Women Believe They Have A Yeast Infection When They Don't [Science Daily]

From the manager of the Lenox mall branch of Benetton:

Hi, I am currently managing the United Colors of Benetton at Lenox mall. We had previously done some work with your magazine and I wanted to e mail you to see if you would be interested in coming to our store and taking some pictures during our 40th Anniversary Party. Please contact me whenever it is convenient for you.

Just wanted to check and see about an article. A bunch of us were at a Crawfish Cookout a few months ago, where a photographer from Jezebel said he was taking pictures for the magazine... I wanted to check and see if it made in into an article?

I am a member of the Junior League's PR/Marketing Committee and wanted to reach out to you regarding coverage for an event we have next month. I know we are too late on the hard copy publication side but was hoping we could be squeezed onto your online calendar?

Is it possible to get a wedding photo added to the next magazine. Our daughter just got married in Aspen, Colorado. She is one of the Captains of the Falcons Cheerleaders. If you think you might be interested - just let me know. Her photographer is Gene Ho. Some of the early photos are listed at http://geneho.com/coyle/. Thanks!