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• We intimidated you with the girth of our shenises.
  
• We threatened to gnaw on your babies.
  
• We encouraged you to embrace the psycho within.
  
• We mourned for a red sox widow.
  
• We pondered the intentions of American Apparel ads.
  
• Oprah told us that we have ADD.
  
• After she tried to feed us tripe.
  
• And finally, we bid a sad farewell to our fearless leader for the next two weeks, and said hello to our substitute hardened cynic.

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