Soccer Star Undie Fight; Model Sues Guess? For Sexual Harassment

• Move over, David Beckham: Cristiano Ronaldo is posing in the spring Armani underwear campaign. [AP]
• Beckham, who says he decided not to renew his Armani contract, is said to be looking to launch an underwear line of his own. [WWD]

Emma Watson Has A Clothing Line; Courtney Says "Rodarte Bitches" Are Awesome

• Emma Watson is doing a clothing line with ethical fashion company People Tree. We're still waiting for Mischa Barton's collection, Tree People. [Guardian]

The Emperor Kate Moss Has No Pants

• Kate Moss's latest fashion contribution: tights that look like you took a drunken prat fall on a gravel driveway. [The Sun]
• The surprise guest of honor at Macy's Glamorama in Chicago: Miss Piggy. [WWD]

Usher Sells Scent With Whiff Of Sex; Ashley Olsen To Leave The Row?

• "I've thought about clothing and jewelry lines," says Usher. "But fragrance stays on when everything else comes off." [People]
• Bottom of the barrel? For $8, American Apparel will sell you a bag of fabric scraps. [BF]

Michael's Moonwalk Glove Under The Hammer; Jil's Uniqlo Line Costs $21

• A rare, left-handed Michael Jackson glove — the one the star wore when he unveiled his moonwalk at Motown's 25th anniversary in 1983 — is to be auctioned in November at the Hard Rock Café in Times Square. [CTV]

Karl Thinks Feminists Are "Ugly"; Posh Spice Gives Up On Armani

• For the September issue of Harper's Bazaar, the magazine interviewed Karl Lagerfeld, speaking as Coco Chanel. In character, the Grand Teuton shared such idiotic reflections as: "I was never a feminist because I was never ugly enough for that." [FWD]

Kate On Another Cover; Lady GaGa Goes Broke On Fashion

• Kate Moss was shot by Mario Testino for the September cover of British Vogue. That trench coat looks very Gisele photoshop-gate/neighborhood flasher, no? [Design Scene]

Stella Loves Critters; Diane Von Furstenberg Is A Swinger

• Stella McCartney's fall ad campaign makes a Bambijoke out of all that nature imagery that suddenly became hip over the past few years. For everyone who's ever considered an ironic taxidermy at a bar and concluded, "Why?" [WWD]

Jackson Family Fashioned In Versace; Kaiser Karl Disses Audrey Tautou

• Michael Jackson's entire family — including the kids — reportedly wore Versace to his memorial service yesterday. The singer was a longtime admirer of Gianni Versace's work, and LaToya Jackson contacted Donatella Versace to arrange for the custom outfits. [InStyle]

New Ads Help Keira, Posh & Becks Make Rent; Kate Gosselin's Clothing Line On Hold

• Posh and Becks are in an underwear ad, together! David seems to be deep in thought, perhaps pondering the wisdom of letting Armani give him hair that belongs on a Lego newscaster. Narrate Victoria's inner monologue in the comments! [Telegraph]

Jacko's Sparkly Concert Costume; Anna Read What You Wrote About Her On Facebook

• Michael Jackson has settled on a costume for his upcoming tour: an ensemble made entirely from Swarovski crystals. His wardrobe uses 300,000 of the sparklers. Of course, this is the man who once wore a gold-plated jacket. [WWD]

Kate Moss Destroys Hopes Of Kills Fans; Emma Watson To Design Own Line?

• One of the hazards of dating a rock star: When, mid-fight, you want to throw some of his stuff into a pool, there's a slight risk that he might have unreleased, non-backed-up new songs among his personal effects. [Mirror]

Kohl's Banking On Lauren Conrad; Liya Thinks Fashion Feeling "Obama Effect"

• Kohl's seems to think a Lauren Conrad fashion line will be a winner. And we had been so joyful when it seemed the Lauren Conrad Collection was taking a permanent vacation! [NY Times]

Naomi Campbell Sobers Up, Puts Down The Crack(Berry)

• Naomi Campbell: "Some people can handle a drink or a line of cocaine, but I've finally come to realize that for me, it's all or nothing — and it has to be nothing." [E! Online]

Seemingly Innocuous Event Brings Out Seemingly Ridiculous Clothes

Audrey Takes A Holiday With Chanel; Valentino Tried To Suppress Documentary

• Audrey Tautou reunited with Amélie director Jean Pierre Jeunet to star in an Orient Express-themed Chanel No. 5 ad, which took three weeks to shoot. The reel's not up till May 5. [WWD]

Rene Russo Finds Other Uses For Footwear; Sarah Silverman Becomes A Model

• Behold actress Rene Russo, doing moderately fetishistic things with designer Brian Atwood's shoes and a hunky model, for a limited-release book, which sounds suspiciously like a fancy lookbook. [NY Mag]

Michelle Obama To Receive Fashion Award; Salma To Do Skincare

• Michelle Obama will receive a CFDA award — but CFDA president Steve Kolb isn't certain she'll attend. "We'll do whatever we can to get her here, but the award isn't about getting her to come." [AP]