Kiss Me, Kate

[Paris, December 1. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Whitney Disses Lauren; Maria Sharapova Wants A Clothing Line

• Whitney Port isn't in Kell On Earth. And on Lauren Conrad: "We still keep in touch on a friendship level. But in terms of fashion we don't really talk about it anymore because we're not in the same arena." [PopEater]

Karl Makes Over SpongeBob; Kate Moss Wants Photographic Proof She Eats

• Karl Lagerfeld gave SpongeBob SquarePants a makeover for a charity auction, resulting in this little charmer, which sold for €1,000. [WWD]

Brangelina Tries Jewelry Design; Lindsay Lohan For Bebe?

• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have designed a fine jewelry collection for Asprey, which goes on sale this week. The line, themed around snakes and called "The Protector," starts at $525; all proceeds go to support Jolie's children's charity. [WWD]

Posh Spice Wants Shoes; Top Chef Spurns Cavalli

• Victoria Beckham might be adding shoes and accessories to her dress collection, because she's apparently sick of advertising other designers' goods. [Sun]
• Fergie says she wanted her Avon scent to smell "fresh, and yet modern at the same time." [People]

Kate Moss Busts Out; Cindy Says She'd Never Make It As A Model Today

• Pictures of the new Kate Moss Topshop collection are out — and they prominently display the supermodel's breasts, which she just recently up and grew, like she's some kind of experimental woman built by science, or something. [Telegraph]

Olsens Go Mass-Market; Mary J. Blige Opens Charity Center With Gucci

• The Olsen twins are launching a new juniors' collection for JC Penney, home of the brands Kimora Lee Simmons, Bisou Bisou, and Charlotte Ronson. It'll be called Olsenboye and is expected in stores this spring. [The Cut]

Nicole Richie Doing Designs; No Sampling Allowed At Oprah Store

• Of course a Nicole Richie clothing line was inevitable. It's called Winter Kate, and it will be hitting stores next February. [WWD]
• The full Jimmy Choo for H&M lookbook is out. [Daily Mail]

Jean-Paul Gaultier Right On Target; Mad Men Women's Wear On Its Way

• Jean-Paul Gaultier is doing a collaboration with Target that will hit stores next spring; stay tuned for pricing information and images as they inevitably leak. Please let there be lingerie-as-outerwear! [WWD]
• Agyness Deyn might star in a short film. [P6]

Lindsay Lohan, Couturiere; People Are Angry At Ralph Lauren

• Lindsay Lohan, finally addressing her disastrously received first Ungaro collection, says, "I am learning." But she will be back in Paris for the next show! "It's already in January. I thought it was in March." January? January means couture.

Megan Coming To A Billboard Near You; Betsey Wants To Be On TV

• Victoria Beckham is out at Armani, and Megan Fox is in. The actress has just been photographed by Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott for next January's Emporio Armani underwear and Armani Jeans campaigns. [WWD]

Sonia To Design For H&M; Carolina Becomes American Citizen

• Sonia Rykiel will be H&M's next guest designer. Her first collection of lingerie will be in stores in December and her knitwear and accessories collection will be available in February. [WWD]

Carrie Prejean Believes In Crappy Spiderwoman Costumes

• Carrie Prejean has sunk low. Very low. [TMZ]
• Photographer Lorenzo Agius on Sienna Miller: "[She] was great, she was easy to get in the bath...She probably would have gone naked but I wouldn't have let her." [WWD]

Lara Stone To Get Skinny; Megan Fox Sells Action Costume

• Model Lara Stone, size 4: "I don't want to be the fat one anymore, so, I have just started doing Pilates every morning, then going to the gym, running, and swimming." [ElleUK]

Anand Jon Gets 59 Years For Rape, Cries.

• "Designer" Anand Jon has been sentenced to 59 years in prison for multiple rapes. [Times of India]
• Seems Naomi Campbell would, in fact, rather wear fur than go naked: the one-time PETA campaigner models furs for Dennis Basso. [Daily Mail]

Fashion's Night Out's Celeb Lineup Announced; Tori Clothing Line A Reality

• The details of Fashion's Night Out — aka Anna Wintour's Plan To Save Retail — have been announced. Over 700 stores in all five boroughs will be participating in events that range from sewing circles to cook-ins to rock shows:

Karl Thinks Feminists Are "Ugly"; Posh Spice Gives Up On Armani

• For the September issue of Harper's Bazaar, the magazine interviewed Karl Lagerfeld, speaking as Coco Chanel. In character, the Grand Teuton shared such idiotic reflections as: "I was never a feminist because I was never ugly enough for that." [FWD]

Sophie Dahl Gets A Cooking Show; Tilda Swinton To Be Face of Pringle

• Model turned cookbook author Sophie Dahl is getting her own cooking show on BBC 2. Dahl says her show will cover on the "emotional" side of food. "It's cooking with an anecdotal thread, irreverent, unpredictable and not without flaw." [Sun]

Jacko's Sparkly Concert Costume; Anna Read What You Wrote About Her On Facebook

• Michael Jackson has settled on a costume for his upcoming tour: an ensemble made entirely from Swarovski crystals. His wardrobe uses 300,000 of the sparklers. Of course, this is the man who once wore a gold-plated jacket. [WWD]