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more about #esquire Bitingpika: The idea of fixing up a nice stocking is adorable. The idea of using it as an opportunity for training your woman ('cause she's always burning the ste... more » Treeless: I thought it was a really sweet little piece. Obviously you're not supposed to put everything they suggest in the darn stocking. I like the idea of ... more » Aesop's Foibles. YES.: Aw. I so want Mr. Foibles or anyone else to do this for me. I'd love one filled with a little Lego playset and some candy and some books. And clementi... more » o-line: I can tell you exactly where that meat thermometer because I'm "always burning the steaks" can go... more » AfroJezeBella: Is that a remote? And a missing button to something? And another sock? I'd rather my stocking just be stuffed with festive holiday undies. more » sympathyforthebasementcat: If a guy can stuff my stocking right, I'll even let him come down my chimney. more » kirbeelee: I see this and all I can think of is Lady Gaga's song "Christmas Tree," which I currently have playlisted on my Christmas iTunes. And yes, it's free f... more » cantankasaurus rex: having just admitted in the magazine article that i am an avid Esquire reader, i'm going to go further out on the limb and say that i thought that art... more » AgnesGrep: Mace, taser, brass knuckles, whistle, nunchucks and a Terry's Chocolate Orange. more » Zombie Ms. Skittles: I would actually be really, really impressed if a dude did any of that for me. more » NoelleBlue: Heh, that weirdness/twitchiness always has come out in his performances, and before his resurgence I really just chalked it up to the drugs. However:... more » Kivrin: I adore this incredibly talented man, but damn—he is batshit crazy. #robertdowneyjr more » badmutha: I think the 2 + 3=5 is akin to wherever you go, there you are. You know, You are the same no matter how famous or whatever. You are still you. #robert... more » Rooo sez BISH PLZ: "I hit my stride later than most folks. A couple years ago, it really was a big old hip-hip-hooray and let's get somethin' shakin' here. Then pfffffff... more » Breamworthy: Dude, every RDJ interview I've ever read is exactly like this. There was one in GQ a couple of years back that was almost identical except it was pepp... more » dirtybee: This is what I see: #robertdowneyjr more » inshallah123: "If two plus three is five, then five minus three is two - do you fucking get it?" Um, I think he just means he can lose his new status/success as qu... more » TurtleSpeak: Crotch crotch crotch crotch crotch sorry I couldn't hear him talking over his crotch crotch crotch crotch crotch #robertdowneyjr more » Alexis: You can't have that much hot without a boatload of crazy. And the crazy? Kind of adds to the hot. #robertdowneyjr more » Armed with Vitriol: I can clearly see his gonads in this cover photo. #robertdowneyjr more » -
#ourdirtyminds
We'd Prefer You Not "Stuff Our Stockings" With Little Things, Esquire - Size Still Matters
Esquire titled an article "How to Stuff a Woman's Stocking," and tried to clarify, saying: "This is not a new euphemism. This is the nine-step guide to filling every square inch with little things that count." Umm-hmm. [Esquire] -
#maghag
Inside The Twisty-Turny Mind Of Robert Downey Jr.
I've loved RDJ so long. Since Weird Science. Since The Pick-Up Artist. Since Less Than Zero. But this interview with Esquire? I can't understand what the hell he's going on about half the time. More » -
#travelstories
Inflight Magazines: A Love Letter
In our modern peregrinations, few disappointments seem so regular as the inflight magazine, that haven of has-been columnists and destination-story junketry. But I would like to take a minute to appreciate the genre in all its promise. More » -
#dickmoves
Sex Writer: Letting A Woman Insert Your Penis Will Only "Confuse" Her
"Anything that you do to pull the woman back into her head will destroy the moment. Don't ask her anything, don't do anything that she has to think about, don't confuse her." — Robert Rubel, on penis insertion etiquette. [Esquire] -
#goopscoop
Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Goop
Goop, the site that launched a thousand spoofs, has recently spawned two "live-like-Gwyneth" stunts, from two different publications. So, how did a man and a woman, respectively, like living the Goop lifestyle? Well:
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#phraseology
Dude, Where's My Vocabulary?
Is dude the most versatile word in the English language? Esquire thinks so, and to prove it, Erik Price collected YouTube clips of situations that require a well-placed dude. We still like fuck better. [Esquire] -
#ragtrade
Bar Refaeli Literarily Naked; Miley Teams With Max Azria
- Bar Refaeli let Esquire write the opening of a Stephen King story on her body for its cover. The weirdest part of the process sounds like the proofreading. [Esquire]
- Michael Jackson is rocking this fall collection women's Balmain jacket. [Grazia]
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#notablequotable
Christopher Walken Would Like To Play A Good Guy
"Most of the jobs I get are basically very unwholesome people. There's always something wrong with the guy, and sometimes something deeply wrong. I'm tired of that." Much more here. [Esquire] -
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#modernlove
Are Women These Days Not Into Sex?
Esquire writer Stephen Marche asks, "Where have all the loose women gone?" Excellent question! More » -
#leftovers
S. Korea Creates "Safe" Spaces For Female Drivers • Real Life Judge Judy Charged With Rudeness
• South Korea has started painting off certain, extra-roomy parking spaces with pink flowers to denote that they're for unskilled drivers only... i.e. women. • More » -
#manhandling
"What Is A Man?" Really Annoying, According To Esquire
We're not surprised that Tom Chiarella's Esquire article "What Is a Man?" is chock-full of silly, Maxim-worthy platitudes. But that doesn't mean we can't make fun of it. More » -
#dirtbag
Lindsay & Sam: Another Night, Another Fight
- Video: Samantha Ronson peels out of a Vegas club parking lot. A minute later, Lindsay Lohan emerges, saying, "Did she leave? She fucking left? Where's my car? I want my fucking keys now." [TMZ]
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#1fan
Kristen Schaal Designs Her Own Esquire Photo Shoot
Flight of the Conchords returns tonight, giving us another season of hilarious, awkward, and brilliant musical comedy. And though we all love Bret and Jemaine, perhaps crazy FOTC fan Mel deserves a little love, too. More » -
#clips
Today's "Yenta Hour" Lectures Women On How To Be Ladies
Ugh, the fourth hour of Today truly lived up to the nickname "yenta hour" this morning, as Hoda, Kathie Lee, and company advised us on the importance of being proper ladies. More » -
#pitbullsandbullshit
Wailin' Palin
In a new “What I’ve Learned” interview to be published in its entirety in the March issue of Esquire, Sarah Palin discusses bloggers, New York, her role in the campaign, and SNL. More »
