• more about #douchetasm
    The HZA.: I hate PDA. Like there would be times I would tell dudes, "can you not hug me in front of my family? It makes me uncomfortable." more »
    boxspelunker: Am I the only person who does not like dirty talk? It always sounds so contrived and stupid. "I LIKE YOUR HOT PEEN IN PLACES THAT PEENS GO." This ma... more »
    scullymurphy: Was this written by Smoove B posing as a woman? more »
    TessDawgkatt: The last position suggested for number 18, the 69 while standing up... WTF?? I can't even... what?? That's seriously not suggesting the girl is hang... more »
    sybann: The comments MADE this post. I envision readers of Men's Health all over the world with serious injuries. more »
    Remedios Varo can't see no huevos.: Many of my fantasies now involve women in tank tops, thanks to the blog Dorothy Surrenders. more »
    misspell: Yeesh. It's really the tone that this 'woman' used while writing this horrid piece that made me throw up in my mouth a little, like girl-next-door mee... more »
    DangerMouse: "Reward me for folding your T-shirts and cleaning the drain by making one long night of sex all about me." Okay, my fantasy: DO THOSE THINGS YOUR DAMN... more »
    PilgrimSoul: This is seriously the most hilarious thread I've read on Jez in awhile. Kudos, ladies. more »
    Aesop's Foibles. YES.: #27. Smack me about the face a few times for emphasis when you're talking to me. Poke my sternum with your finger a little. Nothing turns me (and all ... more »
    Cerridwen: I hate the idea that this is telling men "I won't communicate to you about what I want but it is ok for you to assume what I want, not ask my permissi... more »
    special_boots: I just like the phrase "eat me like an apple." How painful does that sound?? more »
    SarahMC: The shower ambush sounds like a recipe for a hideously unsexy time. Yes, please do creep into the bathroom and scald my clit with hot water whilst I h... more »
    BorgQueen: #1 on the list of Universal Female Nightmares: ANYTHING INVOLVING WILMER VALDOUCHERAMA I think that is something we can all agree on, right ladies? more »
    InCahoots: Strong stream of water to the clit? No, no, no thank you. Maybe I'm just hyper-sensitive, but having tried once it was not all that pleasant. And, as ... more »
    exelizabeth: I did naked pilates with my guy in the room once. It was, indeed, very hot. I can see all of these things working in a committed and mutually respectf... more »
    morninggloria: It creeps me out how Captain Original Douche pictured here looks very very similar to my ex boyfriend. more »
    bklyn155: Do straight guys read Men's Health? I've only ever seen it in my gay friends bathrooms. more »
    theringer: This list seems like the male version of the scrunchie on the penis. The magazines are just messing with us now. more »
    OldEnough2BYourMama: Act like a wife and make me dinner and clean up. Then do a couple of loads of laundry. Then take me, I'm yours! more »
  • #douchetasm

    "Woman" Pens Un-Universal List Of Universal Female Fantasies

    An anonymous, supposedly female writer on the pages of Men's Health helpfully provides men with a list of supposedly female fantasies they should initiate/push women to pursue. We've got other ideas. More »